The Wizard Wheezes

Epizode

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  What it means to live - Chapter 5 21.09.2026 39min

  Chapter 5 of What it means to live by Allofthelights11 The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49037677/Authors Summary:"Hermione runs a confidential lab, trying to unravel Dolohov's curse from the fifth-year battle in the Department of Mysteries.No one knows it's slowly killing her.Least of all Draco Malfoy's loyal friends, who can no longer tolerate his insufferable crush and hand deliver him to Hermione at last."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  What it means to live - Chapter 4 18.09.2026 33min

  Chapter 4 of What it means to live by Allofthelights11 The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49037677/Authors Summary:"Hermione runs a confidential lab, trying to unravel Dolohov's curse from the fifth-year battle in the Department of Mysteries.No one knows it's slowly killing her.Least of all Draco Malfoy's loyal friends, who can no longer tolerate his insufferable crush and hand deliver him to Hermione at last."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  What it means to live - Chapter 3 14.09.2026 40min

  Chapter 3 of What it means to live by Allofthelights11 The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49037677/Authors Summary:"Hermione runs a confidential lab, trying to unravel Dolohov's curse from the fifth-year battle in the Department of Mysteries.No one knows it's slowly killing her.Least of all Draco Malfoy's loyal friends, who can no longer tolerate his insufferable crush and hand deliver him to Hermione at last."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
• 
  What it means to live - Chapter 2 11.09.2026 50min

  Chapter 2 of What it means to live by Allofthelights11 The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49037677/Authors Summary:"Hermione runs a confidential lab, trying to unravel Dolohov's curse from the fifth-year battle in the Department of Mysteries.No one knows it's slowly killing her.Least of all Draco Malfoy's loyal friends, who can no longer tolerate his insufferable crush and hand deliver him to Hermione at last."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
• 
  What it means to live - Chapter 1 07.09.2026 48min

  Chapter 1 of What it means to live by Allofthelights11 The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49037677/Authors Summary:"Hermione runs a confidential lab, trying to unravel Dolohov's curse from the fifth-year battle in the Department of Mysteries.No one knows it's slowly killing her.Least of all Draco Malfoy's loyal friends, who can no longer tolerate his insufferable crush and hand deliver him to Hermione at last."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
• 
  Not With a Bang - Chapter 50 06.07.2026 8min

  Chapter 50 of Not with a Bang by Megalle The final chapter of this story.The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  Not With a Bang - Chapter 49 03.07.2026 21min

  Chapter 49 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  Not With a Bang - Chapter 48 29.06.2026 36min

  Chapter 48 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  Not With a Bang - Chapter 47 26.06.2026 18min

  Chapter 47 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  Not With a Bang - Chapter 46 22.06.2026 24min

  Chapter 46 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
• 
  Not With a Bang - Chapter 45 19.06.2026 26min

  Chapter 45 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  Not With a Bang - Chapter 44 15.06.2026 29min

  Chapter 44 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  Not With a Bang - Chapter 43 12.06.2026 34min

  Chapter 43 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  Not With a Bang - Chapter 42 08.06.2026 23min

  Chapter 42 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  Not With a Bang - Chapter 41 05.06.2026 21min

  Chapter 41 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  Not With a Bang - Chapter 40 01.06.2026 35min

  Chapter 40 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  Not With a Bang - Chapter 39 29.05.2026 28min

  Chapter 39 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  Not With a Bang - Chapter 38 26.05.2026 36min

  Chapter 38 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  Not With a Bang - Chapter 37 22.05.2026 19min

  Chapter 37 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  Not With a Bang - Chapter 36 18.05.2026 30min

  Chapter 36 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.