The Angry Therapist Podcast

Episoder

• Healing Through Joy, Grief, and the Body with Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald 03.06.2026 47min

  Joy, trauma, grief, healing. What if they’re all connected? In this conversation, John sits down with Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald to explore what trauma actually does to the nervous system, why joy is more than a fleeting feeling, and how small moments of joy can help us stay grounded through life’s hardest seasons. They discuss the science behind joy, common misconceptions about trauma, how childhood experiences shape adult relationships, and why healing may require letting go of identities built around suffering. The conversation also touches on grief, psychedelics, nervous system regulation, and finding meaning after loss. In this episode: • Why joy can help regulate and rewire the nervous system • What trauma really does to the body and brain • How childhood trauma shows up in adult relationships • The danger of identifying too strongly with your wounds • Why grief may be more transformative than we realize • The role of flow states, surfing, and presence in healing Also mentioned: • MaryCatherine’s books Unbroken https://www.amazon.com/Unbroken-Trauma-Response-Never-Things-ebook/dp/B0B19CVVNM and The Joy Reset https://www.amazon.com/Joy-Reset-Trauma-Steals-Happiness/dp/0306836262 • Her upcoming K-12 resilience curriculum focused on trauma, stress, and joy • Her current work exploring grief through writing and poetry If this episode resonated with you, follow the podcast, share it with someone who may need it, and leave a review to help others find these conversations. Follow Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald Website: https://www.drmcmcdonald.com/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/mc.phd/?hl=en 🎙️ More about John: 📘 Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
• When Love Stops Saving the Relationship: Presence, Self-Abandonment, and Starting Over 01.06.2026 22min

  What if the thing you keep chasing isn’t actually better... just more familiar? In this solo Q&A episode, John Kim reflects on fantasy, gratitude, emotional presence, and the difference between intensity and real love. From surfing in Costa Rica to answering listener questions about confidence, breakups, infidelity, and self-abandonment in relationships, this episode explores what happens when you stop escaping yourself and start paying attention to what’s actually here. Key points covered: • Why we romanticize the past and overlook the present • The difference between intensity and consistency in love • How healthy relationships create clarity instead of confusion • What confidence actually comes from • Signs you may be abandoning yourself in a relationship • Whether couples can rebuild after infidelity If this episode helped you, send it to someone who may need to hear it. Follow, rate, and share the podcast to support the show. 🎙️ More about John: 📘 Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
• How to Expand When Life Narrows You 27.05.2026 34min

  John Kim explores what it really means to “seek nectar” in everyday life and why tiny moments of beauty, awe, and presence might matter more than we think. In this solo episode, John reflects on life in Costa Rica, nervous system healing, and the difference between surviving and actually feeling alive. He shares how years of stress and hyper vigilance can train us to scan for danger, and how intentionally noticing small moments of joy can slowly rewire the brain toward expansion, connection, and presence. Key points from this episode: • Why “stress narrows you and nectar expands you” • How survival mode becomes a default nervous system state • The neuroscience behind joy, presence, and neuroplasticity • What it means to train your body to “expect beauty again” • Tiny moments that create aliveness, awe, and emotional regulation • Why healing also means collecting new emotional experiences John also shares personal reflections on surfing, Costa Rica, creativity, parenthood, relationships, and the small rituals that bring him back to himself. If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who might need the reminder to seek more nectar in their life. Follow the podcast for more conversations on relationships, healing, and becoming more human. 🎙️ More about John: 📘 Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
• How to Turn Drug-Based Love Into Medicine-Based Love 25.05.2026 28min

  Love often starts as a drug. But what happens when the high wears off? In this episode, John Kim explores the difference between “drug-based love” and “medicine-based love,” and why most relationships struggle when chemistry begins to settle. He talks about projection, love addiction, emotional growth, and how real healing begins when relationships stop being a place to escape yourself and become a place to return to yourself. John also shares personal reflections on rebuilding life in Costa Rica after losing his home in Altadena, and how reinvention is shaping this new season of his life. Key points covered: • Why love feels intoxicating in the beginning • The difference between chemistry and healing • How projection shapes modern dating • “Recess love” vs mature relational work • Why repair matters more than avoiding conflict • How healthy love can rewire old patterns and fears Resources & mentions: • John discusses his new book, Love Hard on Purpose • Listeners who purchase the book get access to his private WhatsApp community If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who’s learning the difference between chemistry and healing. Follow the podcast for more conversations on love, growth, and relationships. 🎙️ More about John: 📘 Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
• Therapy Thursdays | Anxious attachment, Exes & Relationship Myths 21.05.2026 16min

  In this Therapy Thursdays episode, John answers listener questions about anxious attachment, exes, blame, perfectionism, makeup sex, and relationship myths. He explores how attachment patterns affect your partner, why we sometimes stay mentally connected to an ex, and how to know whether a relationship has real long-term potential. If you’ve ever wondered whether your relationship has legs, why you keep blaming your partner, or why you still think about someone from your past, this episode will help you slow down and look at the deeper patterns underneath. 🎙️ More about John: 📘 Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
• Re-release: 6 Ways to Love Deeper 20.05.2026 35min

  In this episode, John explores the different dimensions of intimacy, including emotional, spiritual, mental, passionate, physical, and energy intimacy. He emphasizes the importance of creating a safe space for emotional vulnerability, engaging in meaningful conversations, and practicing empathy and compassion. 🎙️ More about John: 📘 Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
• Re-release: What to Look for When Choosing to Love Someone 18.05.2026 18min

  What should you really look for when choosing someone to love? In this episode, John Kim explores why attraction alone is not enough to build a healthy relationship. He breaks down how instant chemistry can sometimes come from old patterns, why emotional intelligence matters more than intellect, and how self-awareness, consistency, and the ability to create safety are essential in love. John also shares why strong relationships are often built around something bigger than the couple itself, whether that is shared values, purpose, family, creativity, spirituality, or service. This episode is a reminder to look beyond the spark and ask what kind of relationship you are actually building. 🎙️ More about John: 📘 Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
• I Peed On Myself (And Realized Something Important) 13.05.2026 18min

  This episode starts with a story about peeing on himself… and somehow turns into a conversation about masculinity, emotional safety, relationships, and rebuilding love after loss. John records this one off the cuff from a coffee shop in Costa Rica and reflects on the traits he once saw as flaws, the surprising depth that can happen in men’s groups, and a relationship question that’s changing the way he shows up in marriage. He also shares why he believes some relationships need to “die” in order for something more honest to be rebuilt. In this episode: • Why impulsiveness and intensity may not be the problem • The question John asked a men’s group: “How is your heart?” • How emotional safety changes the way men open up • Why some long-term relationships stop evolving • “What I need” vs “what the relationship needs” • Rebuilding a marriage after loss and change If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who’s navigating growth, love, or reinvention. Follow the podcast for new episodes every week. 🎙️ More about John: 📘 Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
• How to Build Healthy Love After Emotional Wounds 11.05.2026 30min

  Some relationship patterns aren’t about the present. They’re about wounds your nervous system learned a long time ago. In this episode, John Kim breaks down some of the most common emotional wounds people carry into relationships, including abandonment, rejection, betrayal, control, emotional deprivation, and loss of self. He explains how these wounds become patterns, why we react instead of respond, and what healing actually looks like in real time. Key points covered: • Why wounds are about meaning, not just events • How childhood experiences shape adult relationship patterns • The difference between reacting from protection vs truth • Why people repeat the same emotional cycles in relationships • How abandonment and rejection wounds show up in everyday moments • What it means to create a corrective love experience John also shares personal reflections about rebuilding life after losing his home in the Altadena fires and moving into a new home in Costa Rica. He mentions his upcoming book, Love Hard on Purpose, and a private WhatsApp group for readers who pre-order the book. If this episode helped you, share it with someone who needs it and follow the podcast for more conversations on relationships, healing, and growth. 🎙️ More about John: 📘 Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
• Therapy Thursdays: How to know when to stay, repair, or let go 07.05.2026 18min

  In this Therapy Thursdays episode, we’re answering your questions about dating, attraction, conflict, infidelity, and the messy middle of deciding whether a relationship is worth repairing. We explore what to look for when you’re dating, how much of your past to share with a partner, and whether physical attraction can grow over time. We also get into the harder questions: why a spouse might become distant after an affair, how to rebuild trust, when to go to couples counseling, and how to know whether conflict is healthy or a sign that something deeper is wrong. This episode also touches on emotional healing after heartbreak, finding yourself again, staying positive through difficult seasons, and why an ex might still be watching your life from a distance. Whether you’re dating, rebuilding, questioning, or letting go, this conversation is about learning to listen to yourself, understand the patterns at play, and make choices from clarity instead of fear. 🎙️ More about John: 📘 Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
• When Everything Burns Down, You Get to Start Over 06.05.2026 31min

  In this deeply personal episode, John Kim revisits his story with fresh eyes and new perspective. From divorce and failed screenwriting dreams to becoming a therapist, building a life in Los Angeles, and then losing it all in a fire, he reflects on the defining “act breaks” that reshaped his identity. Now rebuilding in Costa Rica, John explores what it means to live without a blueprint and to design a life rooted in presence, courage, and truth. Key Points Covered • The difference between a life “chapter” and an “act break” • Losing his home in a fire and how it forced radical change • Letting go of a screenwriting dream and finding purpose as a therapist • Building the “Angry Therapist” platform through authenticity • How loss stripped away excuses and created space for reinvention • Redefining life, success, and home while rebuilding in Costa Rica If this story resonated with you, make sure to subscribe for more conversations on growth, relationships, and rebuilding your life. Mentions: John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co 🎙️ More about John: 📘 Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
• Stop Restoring Your Relationship and Start Updating It 04.05.2026 18min

  In this episode, John explores why trying to bring a relationship back to what itonce was can quietly hold it back. Instead of restoring the past, he reframes love as something that must evolve alongside the people in it, requiring honesty, effort, and a willingness to grow together. He breaks down how relationships naturally fall out of alignment over time and why that doesn’t mean they’re broken. Through communication, truth-telling, and emotional capacity, alignment becomes something you build rather than something you either “have” or don’t. John shares three grounded ways to realign when things feel off, including telling the current truth, updating the relationship instead of restoring it, and focusing on willingness over perfection. The episode also touches on the idea that some relationships need to “die” in order to be rebuilt in a way that actually fits who both people are today. 🎙️ More about John: 📘 Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
• When Love Feels Like an Addiction 29.04.2026 24min

  In this vulnerable solo episode, John Kim explores love and sex addiction through the lens of attachment, emotional regulation, childhood wounds, and relationship ruptures. After a painful conflict with his partner, John reflects on how love can become a way to regulate anxiety, emptiness, and the need to feel wanted or chosen. He unpacks the difference between real love and chasing intensity, and why healing means learning to sit with your own internal state without immediately reaching for someone else to fix it. 🎙️ More about John:📘 Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
• Asian Shame, Childhood Trauma, and the Friendships That Heal Us with Sam Louie 27.04.2026 50min

  What happens when two men in their 50s look back at the childhood pain that shaped them and realize friendship can be medicine? John rides in the car with therapist, author, and longtime friend Sam Louie for an honest conversation about Asian shame, childhood trauma, masculinity, and healing. Sam shares what it was like immigrating from Hong Kong, growing up in South Seattle, navigating racism and bullying, and living in survival mode from a young age. Together, John and Sam explore how early pain shaped their nervous systems, relationships, and sense of self. They talk about shame, porn, divorce, therapy, parts work, and the healing power of male friendship. This is a raw conversation about identity, repair, and what it means to be truly seen. Connect with Sam https://linktr.ee/AsianShame More about John: 📘 Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
• Therapy Thursdays | Love, Trust, and Knowing When to Let Go 23.04.2026 18min

  In this Therapy Thursdays episode, John answers some of the hardest relationship questions people carry quietly: trust after infidelity, emotional disconnection, fading desire, avoidant partners, honesty that hurts, and the pain of knowing when it may be time to let go. He explores what it really takes to rebuild trust, why emotional depth matters, what can motivate someone to finally do the work, and how to move through guilt, disappointment, and heartbreak without abandoning yourself. If you have ever felt torn between hope and reality in love, this episode will give you clarity, language, and perspective. 🎙️ More about John: 📘 Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
• Turning 53 Made Me Rethink Truth, Love, and What Really Matters 22.04.2026 23min

  Turning 53 has John reflecting on what actually matters. In this birthday episode, he shares five revelations shaped by loss, growth, love, and starting over. From losing his house to finding more meaning, joy, and freedom, this is a deeply personal conversation about accepting the truth, living in alignment, and letting life change you. He talks about why growth often feels like loss before it feels like expansion, why love is something we build and practice, and why starting over is not failure but a skill. This episode feels like a check-in with yourself. A reminder that what was true for you before may not be true now. That chasing highs will never give you the kind of life alignment can. That love is less about finding the perfect feeling and more about consistency, repair, and honesty. And that no matter your age, you can begin again. If you’ve been reevaluating your life, grieving an old version of yourself, or wondering whether it’s too late to change course, this episode will meet you there. In this episode: Truth changes your life when you fully accept it Why alignment matters more than chasing highs Growth often feels like loss before it feels like expansion Love is built through consistency, honesty, and repair You can start over more times than you think 🎙️ Host Links: 📘 Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
• Dating Smarter, Not Harder with Amy Chan 20.04.2026 48min

  In this episode, John Kim sits down with relationship expert and author Amy Chan to talk about dating patterns, childhood wounds, grief, commitment, and what it really takes to build healthy love. Amy shares how the sudden loss of a close friend changed the way she thinks about relationships and why creating core memories with the people you love matters more than convenience. John opens up about how losing his home reshaped his idea of freedom, home, and what truly matters. Together, they explore how childhood neglect, validation-seeking, and old survival strategies continue to shape adult dating patterns. They also break down Amy’s framework for dating smarter, including how to spot where your dating life gets stuck, why apps should not be your only strategy, and how your energy affects connection. They talk about dopamine, fantasy, and why the first three months of dating can be misleading. Later, they unpack commitment, unrealistic expectations, relationship trade-offs, triggers, repair, and emotional safety. Amy explains her “Sh*t Bucket” concept and why healthy love is not about finding a perfect partner, but choosing someone whose imperfections you can actually live with. They close with a hopeful reminder: love is hard, but it is still worth building. In this episode: (00:00) The real reason your dating life keeps repeating(00:29) Grief changed how Amy thinks about love(02:09) John’s life after losing home and redefining freedom(03:15) Amy Chan on dating smarter and finding lasting love(05:03) The childhood wounds behind adult relationship patterns(10:29) The patterns sabotaging your love life(14:24) People can feel your dating energy(16:15) Why the first 3 months can fool you(20:02) Why love only grows when you go all in(23:30) Social media is warping our expectations of love(26:34) Every relationship comes with a “Sh*t Bucket”(28:57) Triggers, conflict, and healing inside relationships(33:24) What repair actually looks like in healthy love(37:08) What happens when only one partner wants to grow(43:14) Why love is hard and still worth it About Amy Chan: Amy Chan is the author of Unsingle: How to Date Smarter and Create Love that Lasts — a fun, science-backed dating guide that helps people interrupt the relationship patterns keeping love just out of reach and build healthier, lasting connections. Dubbed the “scientific Carrie Bradshaw” by The Observer, Amy has been a trusted voice in modern relationships for nearly two decades. In 2016, she founded Renew Breakup Bootcamp, the world’s first heartbreak retreat. She also leads Dating Bootcamp and is on faculty at Esalen and The Omega Institute. Her first book, Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart, was featured in The New York Times and optioned by a major streaming network. Her work has appeared in The Wall Street Journal, Good Morning America, The Today Show, The New Yorker, The Guardian, and USA Today. Books: Unsingle: How to Date Smarter and Create Love That Lasts (Pre-order) https://amzn.to/48xS01r Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Hearthttps://amzn.to/3wBZxxi Websites: www.renewbreakupbootcamp.com www.renewbootcamps.com www.missamychan.com www.hearthackersclub.com www.UnsingleByAmyChan.com (launching soon) Connect with Amy: Instagram Handle: https://www.instagram.com/missamychan LinkedIn URL: https://www.linkedin.com/in/missamychan/ Tik Tok Handle: https://www.tiktok.com/@missamychan Twitter Handle: www.twitter.com/missamychan YouTube Handle: https://www.youtube.com/missamychan  🎙️ Host Links: 📘 Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
• Is your relationship medicine or addiction? 15.04.2026 18min

  Love can feel intoxicating. The chemistry, the obsession, the constant thinking about someone, the emotional highs and lows. But just because love feels intense does not mean it is healthy. In this episode, John Kim explores one of the most important relationship questions you can ask yourself: Is your love acting like a drug, or is it becoming medicine? He breaks down how love can become something you use to regulate your worth, soothe your anxiety, or escape yourself. He also explains how healthy love, while not always comfortable, can become a powerful place for self-awareness, healing, and growth. John unpacks the difference between addictive love and healing love, why intensity is not always intimacy, and how attachment wounds can disguise themselves as chemistry. He also shares what needs to happen for love to shift from something that destabilizes you to something that helps you become more grounded, honest, and self-connected. If you have ever confused passion with pain, chased reassurance, or lost yourself trying to hold onto a relationship, this episode will help you look at love more clearly. A self-check for your relationship Your internal state Do I feel anxious more than I feel grounded in this connection or relationship? Do I need reassurance often to feel okay? Do I feel a high when they lean in and a crash when they pull back? Do I think about them more than I feel connected to myself? Your behaviorDo I change how I show up based on how they are acting?Do I overgive, overtext, or overexplain when I feel distance?Do I ignore things that do not feel right to keep the connection?Do I try to manage how they see me instead of just being myself? Your relationship to discomfortWhen I feel triggered, do I reach for them instead of sitting with myself?Do I avoid conflict to keep things good?Do I stay longer than I should because of potential?Do I confuse intimacy with intensity? Your clarityDo I know where I stand, or am I often guessing?Am I in love with who they are or who I hope they will become?Am I choosing them, or am I trying to be chosen? Your identityDo I feel more like myself in this relationship or less?Am I proud of how I show up here?If this ended today, would I feel broken or grounded in myself? Final questionIn this relationship, am I trying to feel better, or am I trying to become better? 🎙️ Host Links: 📘 Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
• Presence, Healing, and a Slower Life with Brooks Wilson 13.04.2026 49min

  What happens when a city-built life gets interrupted, and something quieter begins to call you in? In this episode, John Kim sits down with Brooks Wilson for a conversation about nature, nervous system regulation, mindfulness, healing, and what it means to move through life with more intention. Brooks shares what it was like growing up in Tamarindo, Costa Rica before major development, how nature shaped her from an early age, and how surfing, yoga, sound healing, and ceremony became part of her path. Together, John and Brooks explore the contrast between fast-paced city living and a slower, more grounded way of being. They talk about presence, eye contact, human connection, gratitude, manifestation, and the healing power of sound, nature, and community. John also opens up about how his move to Costa Rica has been reshaping him after major life upheaval, and why this season feels less like escape and more like medicine. This is a conversation about returning to what matters, learning to listen differently, and finding alignment in unexpected places. Brooks Wilson is a Costa Rica–based yoga teacher, sound healer, and ceremonial guide. You can learn more about her work here: Abouthttps://vibracionesexpansivas.com/about Book a sessionhttps://vibracionesexpansivas.com/sessions Journeys and retreatshttps://vibracionesexpansivas.com/journeys/india 🎙️ Host Links: 📘 Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
• Therapy Thursdays | Is This Love, Limerence, or Fear? 09.04.2026 21min

  In this episode of Therapy Thursdays, John responds to listener questions about love, trust, identity, and the emotional patterns that keep us stuck. He explores the difference between real love and limerence, why some people struggle to let love in, and how fear can disguise itself as protection, control, or certainty. He also gets into the tension between equality and fairness in relationships, what it means to outgrow an old identity, and how past betrayal, heartbreak, or attachment wounds can shape the way we connect. From red flags and self-worth to trust after infidelity, this episode is a deep dive into the patterns that quietly run our relationships. If you have ever wondered whether what you are feeling is love, fear, fantasy, or unresolved pain, this conversation will help you look deeper. 🎙️ Host Links: 📘 Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices