Breakups and Breakthroughs

Episoder

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  EP 144: Why You Keep Attracting Emotionally Unavailable People (And How to Break the Pattern) 18.08.2026 16min

  Timestamps:  00:00 Intro 01:30 Emotionally unavailable relationships  03:00 It's not who you attract- It's whether you stick around 05:00 Relationships aren't meant to feel like gambling 05:50 Trying to rewrite the story  07:30 Holding on to potential  10:00 Checking emotional unavailability within yourself  10:40 What emotional availibility looks & feels like 11:40 How to break the pattern 14:30 How to work with me  15:30 Outro        One-on-One 8 Week Coaching: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/get-over-your-ex-8-week-program Connection Call: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/connectioncall Website: www.shiftyourstory.net
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  EP 143: 7 Green Flags In Healthy Relationships 11.08.2026 14min

  Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 02:00 1 - Their words match their actions  03:50 2 - You can bring up difficult conversations  05:10 3 - Staying curious  06:30 4 - You don't feel like you're performing  07:20 5- They repair after conflict  08:30 6- You like who you are becoming  09:20 7 - They help you feel secure in the relationship 11:00 Final thoughts  12:45 How you can work with me    One-on-One 8 Week Coaching: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/get-over-your-ex-8-week-program Connection Call: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/connectioncall Website: www.shiftyourstory.net
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  EP 142: Anxious Attachment: 10 Signs You're Self-Sabotaging Dating (Without Realizing It) 04.08.2026 19min

  Timestamps: 00:00 Intro  01:00 My attachment style  03:00 Anxious attachment & self-sabatoge  04:30 Attachment styles aren't set in stone 05:30 1. You're Dating Potential Instead of Reality 07:30 2. You're Looking for Reassurance More Than Information 08:20 3. You're Reading Into Everything 10:25 4. You're More Focused on Being Chosen Than Choosing 11:10 5. You Ignore Your Own Needs to Keep Someone Around 11:45  6. You Confuse Chemistry With Compatibility 12:22 7. You Make Their Mood About You 12:55 8. You Stay Too Long Waiting for Clarity 13:40 9. You Ignore Green Flags Because They Feel... Weird 14:30 10. You Think Love Should Remove Anxiety 17:20 How you can work with me    One-on-One 8 Week Coaching: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/get-over-your-ex-8-week-program Connection Call: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/connectioncall Website: www.shiftyourstory.net
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  EP 141: How To Stop Bringing Past Relationship Baggage With You 28.07.2026 19min

  Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 02:00 Letting go of relationship patterns that are hurting you  04:00 You're going to have to learn the language of healthy relationships 04:15 Our history affects our patterns 05:45 New relationships can teach you something new  06:20 Good relationships don't just happen 07:00 The myth that we shouldn't have to work at relationships 10:30 Re-learning your own patterns  13:00 We get comfortable with what we are used to  14:00 It takes practice  16:00 Change won't be instant  18:00 Got a topic in mind? Let me know! 18:20 How you can work with me 19:00 Outro One-on-One 8 Week Coaching: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/get-over-your-ex-8-week-program Connection Call: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/connectioncall Website: www.shiftyourstory.net
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  EP 140: How to Build Community As An Adult 21.07.2026 20min

  Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 01:00 My journey with community up until now  03:00 There's no right or wrong way to form community  08:20 You have to be willing to invest resources into community  12:00 Use technology to help you  15:30 Patience is necessary when building community  16:00 How relationships are built  18:00 The checklist  19:00 How to work with me 19:30 Outro One-on-One 8 Week Coaching: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/get-over-your-ex-8-week-program Connection Call: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/connectioncall Website: www.shiftyourstory.net
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  EP 139: Why You Stayed So Long (And Why It's So Hard to Leave) 14.07.2026 22min

  Timestamps: 00:00 Intro  01:30 The shame we place on ourselves when we stay too long 02:40 Has this been your experience? 04:20 The relationship wasn't "bad enough" to leave  08:00 Wating for something to happen so that you can leave  08:30 Ask yourself these questions 09:00 Consistent self-abandonment  10:10 The difference between medecine and poison  12:00 Journaling prompts for self-abandonment  12:45 Staying for practical reasons  16:00 Leaving the relationship will likely hurt no matter what- even when it's the right choice  17:30 The difference between acceptance and settling 19:30 Questions if you are in the limbo of staying or leaving  20:55 If this was helpful-here's how you can help! 21:00 How I can help you - Check out the show notes! One-on-One 8 Week Coaching: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/get-over-your-ex-8-week-program Connection Call: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/connectioncall Website: www.shiftyourstory.net
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  EP 138: Compatibility vs. Chemistry: Which Is More Important? 07.07.2026 20min

  Timestamps: 00:00 Intro  01:30 The importance of compatibility & chemistry  03:20 Why do we worship chemistry in a relationship? 05:30 You see chemistry before you see compatibility  07:00 Is it chemistry? 08:00 Attraction vs. activation of your nervous system 09:00 Chemistry doesn't screen for compatibility  10:30 So what is compatibility? 17:00 The sweet spot between compatibility & chemistry  18:00 A tool to help you figure out if the person you're with is right for you   One-on-One 8 Week Coaching: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/get-over-your-ex-8-week-program Connection Call: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/connectioncall Website: www.shiftyourstory.net
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  EP 137: First 3 Things To Focus On After A Breakup 30.06.2026 14min

  Timestamps: 00:00 Intro  00:30 The Impact Of A Breakup 02:00 Looking After Your Body 04:00 Your Physical Wellness Impacts Your Breakup 06:00 Emotional Regulation  07:00 Supporting Yourself Emotionally Through Your Actions or Environment  09:30 Create A New Routine  12:30 What's Helping You Through Your Breakup? Share Your Thoughts With Me! 12:50 Ways You Can Get More Support In Your Breakup  14:10 Outro  One-on-One 8 Week Coaching: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/get-over-your-ex-8-week-program Connection Call: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/connectioncall Website: www.shiftyourstory.net
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  EP 136: Getting A Text From Your Ex Out Of The Blue 23.06.2026 17min

  Timestamps: 00:00 Intro  00:30 You get a text from your ex 01:30 Here's what it doesn't mean 03:00 Here's what it probably is 04:00 If they want to repair, they will lead with that 07:57 Biggest mistakes people make  09:45 What to do when you get a message from your ex 12:00 If you want to reply- think about this 14:00 Be gentle with yourself 17:00 Outro    One-on-One 8 Week Coaching: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/get-over-your-ex-8-week-program Connection Call: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/connectioncall Website: www.shiftyourstory.net
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  EP 135: You Don't Need Closure To Start Healing 16.06.2026 20min

  Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 01:25 You don't need closure to start healing  01:50 What is closure? 03:00 Closure doesn't magically get rid of your pain 04:20 Does healing require closure? 05:30 Incomplete emotional lifecycle 07:00 What happens when you don't get to complete the emotional lifecycle 08:20 Understanding a situation doesn't always create emotional regulation  09:40 There's nothing wrong with you 10:20 What happens when you try and force closure 11:40 Here's what you should to do instead  13:00 Stop negotiating with your urges  16:00 What does healing look like? 17:30 Start doing this 19:40 Outro One-on-One 8 Week Coaching: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/get-over-your-ex-8-week-program Connection Call: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/connectioncall Website: www.shiftyourstory.net
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  EP 134: Not getting the results you want? Let's change that. 09.06.2026 17min

  Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 01:45 Practical steps to impliment what you are learning 03:00 First scan if the information/advice is for you 03:15 How can I impliment this in small ways? 07:00 Look at the cause and the effect  09:00 How can you adjust your own decisions and actions based on what's working?  11:45 Actually plan then changes you want to make  13:30 SMART Goals  15:00 Closing thoughts  15:30 Check out the links in the show notes One-on-One 8 Week Coaching: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/get-over-your-ex-8-week-program Connection Call: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/connectioncall Website: www.shiftyourstory.net
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  EP 133: Different Culture, Different You: What My Japan Trip Taught Me About Moving On 02.06.2026 21min

  Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 02:20 Culture Shock 04:15 Different parts of you come online when you are in a different situation 05:00 Anchor routines- how they help ground you during times of transition  07:00 Planning helps you process, stabalize, and heal  07:30 The importance of looking after your human  09:00 Relearn who you are and what you want when you are in periods of transition  13:00 Think about how you want to do things differently moving forward  15:00 There are pros and cons to being single AND being in a relationship  19:00 If this was helpful, please rate five stars and review! 19:45 Ready to get over your ex? Check out my 8 week program in the show notes   One-on-One 8 Week Coaching: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/get-over-your-ex-8-week-program Connection Call: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/connectioncall Website: www.shiftyourstory.net
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  EP 132: Is "Healing" Keeping You Stuck? 26.05.2026 12min

  Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 01:30 How I fell into the self-improvment trap  03:00 The value of healing 04:00 Healing through relationships  08:00 Healing doesn't have to heavy all the time 10:00 Find balance   One-on-One 8 Week Coaching: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/get-over-your-ex-8-week-program Connection Call: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/connectioncall Website: www.shiftyourstory.net
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  EP 131: Why You Keep Going Back To People Who Hurt You (Even When You Know You Shouldn't) 19.05.2026 20min

  Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 00:30 You know they aren't good for you... 01:20 It's not about logic  02:30 Top #3 reasons you go back to unhealthy relationships 03:00 Withdrawal  04:20 Missing someone isn't proof that they were right for you 04:40 Familiar pain feels safer than uncertainty  06:20 Attachment to what the relationship could be 07:30 How identity impacts your ability to let them go  07:40 Personal story  11:00 How emotions come into play 12:30 The power of creating space  14:00 Let the fantasy go  15:00 Replace your source of regulation 16:00 Name the pattern in real time 17:30 How you can get support this week 19:30 Please leave a review and rate 5 stars!     One-on-One 8 Week Coaching: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/get-over-your-ex-8-week-program Connection Call: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/connectioncall Website: www.shiftyourstory.net
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  EP 130: How Long Does It Take to Get Over an Ex? 12.05.2026 22min

  Timestamps: 00:00 Intro  00:30 Why you keep wondering how long it takes to get over your ex 01:00 The myth of the timeline 03:00 Let go of the pressure of the timeline- even if it's just for the length of this episode 04:00 Identity shifts 06:10 What I'm looking at to determine how long it will take you go get over your ex 06:30 How attached you are 08:00 Creating closure 11:00 What actions are you taking? 12:00 The power of staying confused 14:30 Ditch the timeline and think about phases instead 17:35 What you can do to help yourself get over your ex 17:45 If you can- go no contact 18:20 Ditch the fantasies 18:40 Actively rebuild your identity 19:00 Process instead of repress 19:30 Get support! 21:20 If this was helpful- please leave a review & share! 22:00 Outro   One-on-One 8 Week Coaching: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/get-over-your-ex-8-week-program Connection Call: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/connectioncall Website: www.shiftyourstory.net  
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  EP 129: Should I Stay or Should I Go? 05.05.2026 24min

  Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 00:30 When you are torn between staying or leaving  02:10 How do you figure out what's best for you? 03:00 Navigating polar opinions  03:50 These extremes are not a solution- they are a coping mechanism 04:35 Does this align with my core values? 07:30 How often are your core values being upheld? 08:40 Is this a moment or is this a pattern? 12:00 Signs it's a pattern 13:00 Where it's worth trying again 15:30 There will be ups and downs 16:40 If you still feel stuck in limbo... 17:40 Ask yourself these questions when you are stuck 19:20 Why you can't make the decision 23:40 Outro    One-on-One 8 Week Coaching: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/get-over-your-ex-8-week-program Connection Call: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/connectioncall Website: www.shiftyourstory.net
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  128: How To Know You're Actually Healing 28.04.2026 19min

  00:00 Intro 03:00 What is healing? Spoiler- it's not being perfect 04:00 Signs you're not healing 05:00 Awareness is important- but not enough 06:00 So what is healing? 08:10 The importance of getting honest with ourselves 12:10 What do I do next? 15:00 Healing doesn't just happen in isolation  17:30 How to chat with me  19:05 Outro      One-on-One 8 Week Coaching: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/get-over-your-ex-8-week-program Connection Call: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/connectioncall Website: www.shiftyourstory.net
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  127: The Difference Between Distraction and Healing (and Why It Matters More Than You Think) 21.04.2026 20min

  Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 01:50 Why do we distract ourselves? 03:00 You feel more in control  05:00 Social reward  06:00 Distracting doesn't help you process 07:50 What does healing look like? 10:30 Create small pockets to be still 12:00 Get honest with yourself  12:30 Stop rushing to replace  13:40 It probably won't be comfortable at first- that's ok! 15:00 How do you know if you are healing? 16:20 If nothing else, ask yourself this question   One-on-One 8 Week Coaching: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/get-over-your-ex-8-week-program Connection Call: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/connectioncall Website: www.shiftyourstory.net
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  EP 126: Revenge Fantasies After A Breakup 14.04.2026 17min

  Timestamps: 00:00 Intro  00:30 How do revenge fantasies show up? 02:00 Eventually we will get stuck in the revenge fantasy 02:20 Why do we have revenge fantasies? 02:40 Validation 02:50 Acknowledgement and empathy 03:05 Wanting to feel chosen 03:50 Revenge fantasies are normal 05:00 Why do we get revenge fantasies? 07:00 But doesn't wanting to prove someone wrong drive you? 07:40 The cost of the fantasy 09:00 The real power move 10:00 No longer playing the game 10:15 Practical steps 14:45 Closing thoughts 16:20 Outro               One-on-One 8 Week Coaching: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/get-over-your-ex-8-week-program Connection Call: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/connectioncall Website: www.shiftyourstory.net
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  125: The Grief of Almost Relationships 07.04.2026 21min

  Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 01:20 My experience with 'almost relationships' 01:50 What almost relationships look like in real life 02:30 Why its so difficult to move forward from these types of relationships 02:50 Did I do something? 03:00 Potential vs. reality 03:40 Attachment  04:30 You aren't being dramatic 05:00 The hidden grief of situationships 06:06 Trap #1 - Romantacizing the Relationship 08:35 Trap #2 - Trying to decode what went wrong 10:45 Trap #3 - Waiting for closure 12:30 Trap #4 - How you are talking to yourself  13:50 Trap #5 - The story you're telling yourself  15:00 How to move forward from almost-relationships 17:35 Journaling Questions 20:00 Outro  One-on-One 8 Week Coaching: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/get-over-your-ex-8-week-program Connection Call: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/connectioncall Website: www.shiftyourstory.net