Awaken into Love Podcast

Episoder

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  What I Wish I Knew About ROCD 10 Years Ago (Solo Episode with Kiyomi) 12.06.2026 9min

  After 10 years of supporting people with Relationship OCD (ROCD) and relationship anxiety around the world, there are a few things I wish I could go back and tell myself at the beginning of my own journey. In this solo episode, I reflect on the lessons I've learned through my own healing, as well as a decade of walking alongside thousands of individuals navigating ROCD. We explore: ♡ Why you're not stuck, even if it feels that way ♡ The truth about intrusive thoughts and what gives them power ♡ Why you are not your thoughts, feelings, or fears ♡ How societal conditioning shapes our beliefs about love and relationships ♡ The difference between fantasy love and mature love ♡ Why healing is possible, even when uncertainty feels overwhelming ♡ What I've learned after 10 years of supporting the ROCD community If you're struggling with intrusive thoughts, relationship anxiety, fear, doubt, or uncertainty in your relationship, I hope this conversation offers you hope, perspective, and compassion. A gentle reminder: if you're listening from a place of urgency or reassurance-seeking, allow this episode to be an invitation into understanding rather than certainty. Healing doesn't come from finding the "right" answer, it comes from learning to relate differently to uncertainty and to yourself. ✨ You are not stuck. If you're looking for support on your healing journey, you're invited to join us for a free ROCD HOME session and connect with others who understand what you're going through. 💗 Claim your free spot: here With love, Kiyomi
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  When ROCD Feels Too Real: A Man's ROCD Journey (ft. Cameron) 24.01.2026 35min

  What happens when relationship doubt feels so real you believe you have to leave? In this episode of Awaken Into Love, Kiyomi sits down with Cameron to explore his lived experience with Relationship OCD (ROCD), from the moment doubt appeared early in his relationship, to the shame, emotional suppression, and fear that followed. Cameron shares what it was like navigating ROCD as a man, including the pressure to "stay strong," the belief that emotions were something to fix, and the deep confusion that arises when love and anxiety collide. Together, we explore why ROCD feels so convincing, how disconnection can feel genuinely threatening, and what shifted when Cameron stopped trying to solve his thoughts and instead began allowing his emotions. It's an honest, human conversation about learning to sit with discomfort, softening self-judgment, and discovering a more grounded way of relating to yourself and to your partner. This episode is for you if: -ROCD or relationship anxiety feels too real to ignore -You feel pressure to know how you feel at all times -Disconnection in relationships feels threatening -You've struggled with shame around emotions -You want to hear a man's real, lived experience with ROCD You are not broken. You are not failing. And, you are not alone. (#YANA) ✨ Want to start your healing journey? Take the FREE ROCD/Relationship Anxiety Quiz and get instant clarity on what kind of support might help you next.
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  How I Almost Lost My Relationship To ROCD/RA (ft. Martina) 13.12.2025 41min

  Today, Manon (Awaken into Love Director) sits with Martina, a longtime Awaken into Love ROCD/RA community member and HOME member (our ROCD/RA peer-support group) whose journey will resonate with anyone who has ever questioned their relationship, doubted their feelings, or felt shame about their intrusive thoughts. In this deeply vulnerable conversation, Martina shares how ROCD first showed up three days into her relationship, how misunderstandings from therapists intensified her anxiety, and how years later, during a stressful life transition, her symptoms resurfaced in painful and confusing ways. She opens up about: -intrusive images and "false attraction" spikes -emotional numbness and derealization -the shame of not recognizing her partner -comparing her partner to others -the impact of OCD on her long-term relationship -what finally helped her truly heal We hope our beloved Martina's courage brings you comfort and hope. If you're interested in trying the ROCD/RA HOME peer-support for FREE: http://home.rocdcourse.com/join
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  What if I Outgrow My Partner? I feel stuck, I want to expand! (ROCD/Relationship Anxiety) 30.09.2025 14min

  In this episode of Awaken into Love, Kiyomi dives into one of the biggest and most confusing parts of life with ROCD: expansion. How do you grow, evolve, and follow your purpose when your mind is constantly pulling you back into fear and doubt? We explore: The paradox of wanting change while fearing it Common fears around outgrowing your partner or making the wrong choice How society's messages about purpose can trigger obsessive thinking Why community is core medicine for OCD and ROCD Expansion doesn't have to mean leaving your partner behind — it can mean opening to more love and authenticity right where you are.  Join our October Masterclass on Expansion at Awaken into Life  Learn more about ROCD and find support at rocdcourse.com
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  Am I the Only One STILL Struggling? (Thriving With ROCD/OCD) 18.09.2025 14min

  We're back for season 2 of the Awaken into Love podcast! In this first episode, Kiyomi and Manon explore what it really means to thrive with OCD and ROCD, beyond perfectionism, societal pressure, and comparison. This is the first part of the conversation. For the complete VIP episode, our Thriving Masterclass, and the LIVE deepening circle on Sept 27, join us inside our new membership: Awaken into Life. --- Awaken into Life If you are ready to explore LIFE beyond ROCD/OCD and find deeper love, peace, purpose, and community. Join us here!
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  How I Saved Myself and My Relationship (ft. Kim) 18.06.2025 1t 14min

  In this new episode, we sit down with Kim, a beloved member of the Awaken Into Love community, to talk about her powerful journey through ROCD (Relationship OCD), anxiety, and healing. Kim opens up about discovering ROCD later in life after years of uncertainty, perfectionism, and self-doubt—and how the Awaken Into Love course and peer support community (formerly KIC, now HOME) helped her find clarity, resilience, and ultimately, love. Kim shares: -Her early experiences with OCD, spiritual scrupulosity, and hyper-responsibility -The grief of missed connections and a life spent waiting for certainty -The moment she found ROCD content online and felt seen for the first time -How the course helped her shift from obsessive research to real healing -Why joining the group felt terrifying—but ultimately transformative -The role of grief, acceptance, and empowerment in building a healthy, grounded relationship -How she learned that love is a choice—and that being human means embracing imperfection -Her heartfelt advice to her younger self and others just beginning this journey Kim's story is one of vulnerability, courage, and awakening—a reminder that healing isn't linear, but it is possible.  Whether you're struggling with ROCD, relationship anxiety, or looking for real stories of hope, this episode is for you. 🔔 Subscribe for more healing conversations about ROCD, Relationship Anxiety & Awakened Relationships » ROCD FREE CHECKLIST: https://free.rocdcourse.com/checklist » ROCD/RA ACADEMY (COURSE): https://academy.rocdcourse.com/join » AIL HOME (PEER-SUPPORT): https://home.rocdcourse.com/join Disclaimer: All of the information listed in this channel is for informative, motivational, and educational purposes only. Please note that this channel is not meant to diagnose you or treat a mental health disorder but serves only as education and motivation. 
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  I Thought I Was Crazy...Until I Found About ROCD (ft. Sherin) 18.06.2025 41min

  In this new episode led by Manon, our Director & ROCD/RA Expert at Awaken into Love, Sherin (Awaken into Love Graduate & Member of Our HOME peer-support group) shares her struggles with Relationship Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (ROCD), detailing the shame and guilt that accompanied her feelings of disconnection from her partner. After two years of suffering in silence, discovering the existence of ROCD brought immense relief and a sense of validation. Through her journey at Awaken into Love, she learned the importance of self-trust and self-compassion, recognizing that her intrusive thoughts do not define love. » ROCD FREE CHECKLIST: https://free.rocdcourse.com/checklist » ROCD/RA ACADEMY (COURSE): https://academy.rocdcourse.com/join » AIL HOME (PEER-SUPPORT): https://home.rocdcourse.com/join Disclaimer: All of the information listed in this channel is for informative, motivational, and educational purposes only. Please note that this channel is not meant to diagnose you or treat a mental health disorder but serves only as education and motivation. 
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  17 Years Later: How ROCD/RA Changed My Life (ft. Kiyomi) 25.04.2025 18min

  In this deeply personal episode, Kiyomi reflects on the journey that began in 2017 with her first vulnerable video about Relationship OCD (ROCD). She shares how that one act of courage has grown into a global movement through Awaken into Love, helping thousands find words for their pain and a path toward healing. Kiyomi revisits her journals, old Facebook photos, and memories from 17 years of living with ROCD. She shares how her pain became a portal for transformation—not just for herself, but for thousands of others around the world. She introduces the four core pillars of Awaken into Love: Humanness – Embracing the shared experience of suffering and healing. Love – Redefining love in its most truthful and unconditional form. Empowerment – Reclaiming your worth and releasing the shame and hyper-responsibility often tied to ROCD. Awakening – Using ROCD as a catalyst for growth, connection, and purpose. Kiyomi opens up about stepping back from the spotlight, expanding the team with incredible coaches, and continuing to grow behind the scenes. She speaks of healing, her now-thriving relationship, and becoming a mother—proof that life can radically transform. She ends with a loving invitation to join the free 31-Day "Back to Love" Challenge, a journey she's taking alongside the community to reconnect with love, self-compassion, and hope. https://free.rocdcourse.com/backtolove  ✨ "Your ROCD doesn't define you—it awakens you. You're not alone, and you are right where you're meant to be." ✨ » ROCD FREE CHECKLIST: https://rocdcourse.com/the-checklist » ROCD/RA ACADEMY (COURSE): https://rocdcourse.com/ » AIL HOME (PEER-SUPPORT): https://rocdcourse.com/peer-support Disclaimer: All of the information listed in this channel is for informative, motivational, and educational purposes only. Please note that this channel is not meant to diagnose you or treat a mental health disorder but serves only as education and motivation. #ROCD, #Relationshipocd, #Relationshipanxiety, #OCD #anxiety #mentalhealth #love
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  What if ROCD Ruins My Partners Life? (Ft. Isla) 09.04.2025 1t 1min

  🎙 In this powerful and vulnerable episode of the Awaken into Love Podcast, Manon sits down with Isla, a graduate of the ROCD course and former member of HOME, our peer support group (formerly known as KIC). From a small seaside town in Scotland, Isla opens up about her six-year journey with ROCD, retroactive jealousy OCD, neurodivergence (ADHD and exploring autism), and the hidden grief beneath obsessive thoughts. She shares how ROCD impacted all of her long-term relationships, how not knowing what she was experiencing made her feel broken, and how finally putting a name to it transformed her entire life. Through somatic healing, inner child work, and the power of community, Isla has learned to live with tenderness — toward her thoughts, her younger self, and her relationship. 💛 This is a story of healing, awakening, and becoming whole — not in spite of ROCD, but through it. » ROCD FREE CHECKLIST: https://rocdcourse.com/the-checklist » ROCD/RA ACADEMY (COURSE): https://rocdcourse.com/ » AIL HOME (PEER-SUPPORT): https://rocdcourse.com/peer-support Disclaimer: All of the information listed in this channel is for informative, motivational, and educational purposes only. Please note that this channel is not meant to diagnose you or treat a mental health disorder but serves only as education and motivation.
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  "How I Broke Free from Relationship OCD/ Relationship Anxiety" (ft. Monica) 14.02.2025 50min

  In this heartfelt episode of the Awaken into Love Podcast, host Manon (Awaken into Love Director) sits down with Monica, a cherished member of the Awaken into Love community, to discuss her transformative journey through Relationship OCD (ROCD). Monica shares her story of discovering ROCD after a challenging period in her relationship and how she learned to navigate OCD, anxiety, and depression. Through supportive community and personal exploration, she moved from a place of fear and self-doubt to one of empowerment and self-compassion. This episode explores the power of community, the importance of self-awareness, and how sometimes the hardest part of healing is allowing oneself to rest and accept where they are in the moment. A powerful reminder that healing is not linear but a continuous dance between doing, understanding, and simply being. 🫶🏻 On Discovering ROCD: Monica became aware of her ROCD after a challenging fight with her partner in July 2022, leading to a downward spiral. She realized these patterns had been present long before she could name them. 🫶🏻 The Power of Community: Monica highlights how the Awaken into Love community provided a safe, compassionate space to be vulnerable, share experiences, and feel understood—a crucial element in her healing journey. 🫶🏻 Mental Compulsions: She struggled with internal compulsions like ruminating and checking, finding freedom through practices like "eyeballs out" (shifting focus to the external world) and the "Triple A" method—agree, allow, and attack. 🫶🏻 Healing Isn't Linear: Monica reflects on how healing isn't about reaching an endpoint but continuously peeling back layers, learning to respond with compassion, and embracing stillness without self-judgment. 🫶🏻 Self-Trust and Empowerment: Moving away from external validation, Monica has learned to trust herself, embrace her own healing power, and take ownership of her journey, recognizing her inner strength and resilience. Here's to being human! » ROCD FREE CHECKLIST: https://rocdcourse.com/the-checklist » ROCD/RA ACADEMY (COURSE): https://rocdcourse.com/ » AIL HOME (PEER-SUPPORT): https://rocdcourse.com/peer-support Disclaimer: All of the information listed in this channel is for informative, motivational, and educational purposes only. Please note that this channel is not meant to diagnose you or treat a mental health disorder but serves only as education and motivation. #ROCD, #Relationshipocd, #Relationshipanxiety, #OCD #anxiety #mentalhealth #love
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  Navigating Big Life Decisions with Your Partner (ft. Jillian) 16.01.2024 26min

  How do you navigate big life decisions when you experience Relationship OCD? How do you make "big" steps when you experience thoughts that tell you to run? Maybe you're thinking about comitting deeper, moving into together, getting engaged, getting married, having a baby, getting a pet together or maybe it's another transition that doesn't seem "big" in societies standards. Whatever it is! This is for you. In this podcast episode, Jilian, our Awaken into Love Coach and Colorado therapist talks about how to use this period as a way to come closer and not further apart.  Meet Jillian Pezzino! Jillian received hers master's degree in the field of clinical mental health counseling in the sunny state of Colorado. Currently, she specializes in coaching individuals who struggle with anxiety around the "rightness" of their relationship. This work has become a true passion of hers as a result of her own journey navigating ROCD. Book a consult with Jilian! https://www.awakenintolove.com/therapy-coaching  
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  Change the Way You Relate to ROCD/RA (ft. Kat Williamson) 29.11.2023 40min

  Could changing the way you relate to Relationship OCD/Relationship Anxiety help heal ROCD? Understand how parts work, art therapy and acceptance commitment therapy can help your own healing journey with ROCD. This is especially important for people who are looking for new ways of healing. Meet Kat Williamson, our Awaken into Love coach. Kat is here to help you move through the storm of relationship anxiety and ROCD. She is currently completely her second postgraduate degree in counseling psychology with her initial training being in art therapy. She draws on her own personal and professional experience to coach clients to gain relief from the constant anxiety and doubts of relationship anxiety.
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  The REAL Reason You Have Relationship OCD/Relationship Anxiety (the blessings and gifts of ROCD) 19.10.2023 23min

  Could there also be a deeper, mysterious reason for why you're experiencing Relationship OCD and Relationship Anxiety? Could Relationship OCD/Relationship Anxiety in someway be helping you? What if the reason wasn't because you were bad, wrong or a reason that there was something fundamentally wrong with you... What if Relationship OCD / Relationship Anxiety was there to tell you something DEEPER and GRANDER about yourself and partnership?  Watch this inspiring video for some deeper peace and ease on how Relationship OCD / Relationship (even though debilitating and extremely challenging) could be teaching you something that you will be forever thankful for. As an important disclaimer: I am NEVER here to emotionally or spiritually bypass Relationship OCD/Relationship Anxiety. I would NEVER dismiss the pain, challenge and suffering that comes with something so challenging. I am here to speak from my own truth, as I want to be honest with you on what has helped me on my journey. What I share in this video has personally been life-changing, as it has helped me break FREE from relationship OCD/Relationship Anxiety on a deeper level. In this way, I am here to share my message and voice, in hopes that it will help you too
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  Do You Ever Feel Like Giving Up? Listen to this FIRST (ROCD/RA) (ft. Manon) 21.09.2023 14min

  Do you ever feel like just ENDING your relationship? Maybe the ROCD/RA has been there for a while and you question why you keep going. You tell yourself that "it's taking too long", "its not worth it" and other thoughts that make you feel like you should just break up. In this podcast episode, I interview Manon Lamarque who flew all the way from France to Colorado to sit with me to help you. Manon is my longtime client, friend and now, team member at Awaken into Love. She is now here to talk to you about what to do when you feel like giving up and tools you can use to keep going.
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  How to Heal ROCD/RA Through the Body (ft. Erin Logan) 14.09.2023 38min

  In this podcast episode, I interview Erin Logan, former awaken into love and as she expressed, proud former KIC member, holistic somatic coach and certified mind body coach who is also certified in somatic attachment therapy. We talk about the power of healing through the body, why you can't "heal" through the mind (through thinking) and why the body is the gateway toward true integration and expansion, not only with yourself but with your partner. If youre interested in learning more about what Erin does or working with her, you can find her on instagram @the.humm
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  What to do if ROCD/RA has been present for YEARS (ft. Maya) 31.08.2023 44min

  If you feel like ROCD/RA has been there for a long time, and it's felt lonely, then this one episode is for you. In this podcast episode, Kiyomi interviews Maya from Germany where she expresses how she's experienced ROCD/RA for 8 years. Her determination to do her inner work and embrace healing has reshaped her path. Discover how she found the strength to over come, and gain insights into thriving with ROCD/RA all through Maya's inspiring experience. Learn about... Maya (from Germany) has been with her partner for 8 years and likes challenging the rules. She expresses: "Although I was destined to have ROCDRA, I was also destined to fight" Learn how Maya likes challenging and building things, and why this has helped her through her journey with ROCD/RA. Learn about Maya's journey with ROCD/RA Understand the important wisdom she's gained through having ROCD/RA for 8 years. When and why she decided to work with Jillian (AIL Coach) and do Awaken into Love work and how that's changed her life. Powerful tips Maya has for people who have been going through ROCD/RA for a long time. & more...
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  What Does ROCD/RA REALLY Feel Like? 27.07.2023 22min

  What does having ROCD/RA REALLY feel like and what does a person without ROCD/RA do? In this podcast episode, I talk about the extraordinary difference between both. This episode isn't meant to bring about negative comparison but to help you empower yourself to recognize that these feelings, thoughts, and sensations are NORMAL. It is not the thoughts that matter, but how we REACT to them that makes the biggest difference. Join me as we dive in to help you find some understanding, empowerment, and clarity on this awakening journey.
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  What is Retroactive Jealousy? (ROCD/RA/Conscious Love) 21.07.2023 10min

  Do you get obsessive and compulsive about your partner's romantic history? Do you fixate on if your partner thinks about other people and if they'll cheat? Do you compulsively ask your partner for reassurance about yourself and their romantic history? Do you look through their phone and fixate over people they could be speaking to? Maybe you also feel controlling about who they can speak to and who you feel they cannot speak to. THIS is not just a regular form of jealousy. When it becomes obsessive and compulsive, it's a form of ROCD called Retroactive Jealousy and it's more common than you think! You're not alone if you have it, and if you're the partner of someone who has retroactive jealousy, you're not alone either. Retroactive jealousy can be super hard for both partners, but know there IS HOPE.
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  Answering the Questions I've Been Avoiding... 23.06.2023 21min

  I've waited long enough, and it's time. I feel as though I owe you all an explanation. I have so much to share with you. I'm ready to finally dive in and come clean to you about where I've been this past year and what's happened. In this episode, I tell you what I've been doing, why I haven't been as present on social media, other very personal questions you've been asking me, and more. My intention isn't to talk only about me and my life (of course), but to help you understand what's been happening to help you in your journey with Relationship OCD/Relationship Anxiety and your whole life in general. I've gained so much wisdom and equally learned so much. I can't wait to tell you all about it because I know all of it's geared to helping you in so many ways beyond your relationship. You may, or may not be shocked by what I reveal. Let's dive in together, love.  
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  Is ERP the ONLY way for ROCD/RA? What does it mean if ERP doesn't work for you? (ft. Erin) 22.12.2022 33min

  ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) in the world of OCD is labeled as the "gold standard for OCD", and while it may work for many, it MAY not work for everyone... and that's okay. In this podcast episode, I interview Erin, a member of my Inner Circle (KIC) who brings her wisdom and knowledge through ROCD/RA. We talk about why ERP was more traumatizing for her and why it's important to remind people that just because a method doesn't work for you doesn't mean you or your relationship is doomed. We talk about what's helped her, what other methods she found to be extremely impactful and why it's okay and powerful to forge your own path of healing, despite what "Dr. Google" says.  As an important disclaimer, we are in no way during this episode speaking against ERP or telling you not to do it. As an ROCD/RA expert, I find ERP to be powerful, beneficial, and needed in many cases - in case, I advocate for it in my course. In this episode, we wanted to mainly shed light on the stigma around ERP being the "only way" and "gold standard" for ROCD, which I believe, after working in mental health for 10 years is not true. Our intention is to give you empowerment in your own journey and to remove stigma and shame if something isn't working for you.   Psst.. love, are you ready to dive in and start the healing work of Relationship OCD/Relationship Anxiety? Take the step further by joining the ROCD Course/Community and Inner Circles on Monday for deeper support, help, and guidance during your ROCD/RA journey. You can find all of that at rocdcourse.com! See you on the inside, loves.