How To Have Sex

Επεισόδια

• 
  How To Get Back In The Dating Game 15.09.2026 44λ

  Freshly single and not sure where to even start? Jay-Jay and Mel get into everything about getting back into the dating scene: why so many women are done settling for less, why dating apps leave everyone feeling weirdly empty, and how to tell the difference between nerves and real chemistry on a first date (spoiler: your body genuinely can't tell them apart).Plus: Mel's first-date story involving a 6:30am run, a firefighter, and a fart she could not hold in. It's not a serious episode start to finish - expect real advice and real laughs in equal measure.They also cover flipping the confidence script so dating feels less like a job interview, why "friend-group dates" might be the underrated move, when (and how) to tell someone you've got kids, and what actually makes a date feel good.If you're nervous about getting back out there, consider this your pep talk.How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams.JOIN OUR COMMUNITY!Subscribe to our Substack: https://hthspodcast.substack.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcastTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@howtohaves.podFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcastYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@HowtohavesexpodcastEmail: [email protected] the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesexHow to Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland - https://www.podlab.co.nzHOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeneyMelissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com Instagram: @melissavranjesReady to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
• 
  How To Have Hot Group Sex 08.09.2026 46λ

  Grab an extra pillow. Actually, grab a few …. this week there's a waiting list outside the bedroom door.Jay-Jay Feeney and certified somatic sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes are back in bed together for one of the most requested (and most avoided) topics yet: group sex. It turns out this has quietly been one of Mel's ultimate fantasies all along, and once she's finally cornered into admitting it, the conversation goes places…. including her actual, very unplanned real-life experience, and Jay-Jay's confession that she's had not one, not two, but three threesomes.This episode is equal parts hilarious and genuinely useful. They dig into why the fantasy of "ten hot strangers" rarely survives contact with reality, what separates a threesome that's fun from one that quietly ends a relationship, and how jealousy shows up even when everyone agreed to the whole thing beforehand. They also get into the nuts and bolts nobody wants to ask about out loud: sexual health, testing, condom etiquette when there's more than two people involved, and what proper aftercare actually looks like once the night is over.In this episode:Why the fantasy version of group sex (control, safety, zero logistics) is nothing like the real thingMel's honest, cringe-and-all retelling of her one experience with multiple partners, and everything she'd do differentlyJay-Jay finally spills on her three threesomes, including the one that felt like a "tag team" and the one that didn'tThe difference between having a fantasy and actually wanting to live it outJealousy, the fear of loss underneath it, and why it can wreck a relationship even when everyone consented going inWhether it's easier to explore this single, in an open relationship, or with your long-term partnerHow to actually bring it up with a stranger, a partner, or at a bar without making it weirdWhat sex parties are really like (and how people actually find them)The one question you need to ask yourself before saying yes to anyone else's fantasy: why do I actually want this?Sexual health real talk … testing, condoms between partners, and having that conversation before things get goingAftercare for more than two: what it looks like, why it matters, and how simple it can beWhat "liberating" actually means here (hint: it's not about how wild you get)Whether group sex is a fantasy that's just for your own head, something you're curious to explore, or a story you've already got your own version of, this episode gives you the real talk, the pitfalls, and the tools to make it a good experience rather than a cautionary tale.----------------------------------How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams.JOIN OUR COMMUNITY!Subscribe to our Substack: https://hthspodcast.substack.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcastTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@howtohaves.podFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcastYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@HowtohavesexpodcastEmail: [email protected] the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesexHow to Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland - https://www.podlab.co.nzHOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeneyMelissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com Instagram: @melissavranjesReady to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
• 
  How To Have A Great Sex Life As Parents 01.09.2026 50λ

  Congratulations, you got the kids to sleep! Now lock the door.... this episode is just getting started.Jay-Jay Feeney and certified somatic sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes sit down for one of the most requested topics yet: how to actually have a sex life once you've got kids. Melissa is three months postpartum with her second baby and deep in the newborn trenches, so this one's personal, honest, and refreshingly unfiltered.Together they unpack why parenthood doesn't kill your libido so much as it completely rewires it. From spontaneous desire to something Melissa calls "responsive desire," and from candlelit dates to a stolen 90 seconds between nappy changes.In this episode:Why "need-driven touch" (hello, breastfeeding) can leave you touched out and not exactly craving more contact from your partnerSpontaneous vs. responsive desire, and why waiting to "feel horny" first might be the whole problem"Chore Play": how unloading the dishwasher can genuinely be foreplayMelissa's raw, three-months-postpartum update on her own body, libido, and relationshipWhy exhaustion, not lack of attraction, is public enemy number one for parents' sex livesThe gentle way she and her husband reconnected physically after birth, with zero pressureThe "sex menu": a 5-minute, 10-minute and 30-minute system for intimacy on the busiest nightsGetting your privacy back (a lock on the door is doing more heavy lifting than you'd think)"Sexual currency" - the small everyday moments that quietly build (or kill) desireWhy obligatory sex causes more long-term damage than just... not having sexThe weekly relationship check-in that keeps resentment from creeping inWhether you're in the newborn haze, wrangling a toddler, or years into parenting and just want your spark back, consider this your permission slip to stop chasing your old sex life and start building a new one that actually fits this season.Next week: How to Have Mind-Blowing Group Sex 👀How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams. JOIN OUR COMMUNITY! SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.com INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@howtohaves.pod FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast EMAIL [email protected] Support the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com Instagram: @melissavranjes Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
• 
  How To Have Wild Casual Sex 25.08.2026 51λ

  Mel is back in the saddle (well, the bed) after maternity leave, and she and Jay-Jay are diving straight into one of the most requested topics on the show: casual sex. Not the drunk, regretful, "what happened last night" kind; the confident, consensual, genuinely great kind.This week they cover where to actually meet people now that everyone's exhausted by dating apps, why the word "slut" deserves a serious rebrand, and the very real hormonal reason women tend to catch feelings faster after a good hookup (sorry, it's science). There's also the truth about STIs in retirement villages (yes, really), what to pack for a one-night stand, and Mel's confession about the "Caribbean man" fantasy that absolutely did not go to plan.Funny, filthy in the best way, and genuinely useful. How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams. JOIN OUR COMMUNITY! SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.com INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@howtohaves.pod FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast EMAIL [email protected] Support the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com Instagram: @melissavranjes Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
• 
  How To Have Powerful, Internal Orgasms 18.08.2026 45λ

  Think you've never had an internal orgasm... or wondering if you're even capable of one? This week Jay-Jay and Mel are getting very hands-on (literally) with everything you need to know about internal, G-spot and cervical orgasms.Mel breaks down why internal orgasms feel so different from clitoral ones, why they're harder to access, and why almost every woman has the anatomy to experience one (it's a skill you can learn, not a lottery you either win or lose). They map out the G-spot, the A-spot, the cervix and a couple of letters you've probably never heard of, bust the myth that it's all about "technique," and share the embarrassing, awkward, and occasionally accidental stories of their own first orgasms (bike-related and otherwise).Expect real talk on arousal and engorgement, why rushing straight to penetration rarely works, the "come here" motion everyone's Googling, breathwork, pelvic floor tricks, and a step-by-step game plan you can try tonight - solo or with a partner.New episodes every week. Class is officially in session.How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams. JOIN OUR COMMUNITY! SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.com INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@howtohaves.pod FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast EMAIL [email protected] Support the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com Instagram: @melissavranjes Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
• 
  How To Come Back To Sex After a Dry Spell 11.08.2026 51λ

  Been a while? No judgment here. Dust off the cobwebs, we've got you. This week Jay-Jay and Mel are talking dry spells: what actually counts as one, why they happen even in happy relationships, and how to come back from one without the pressure of "perfect" sex.We bust the myth about your vagina supposedly "closing up" after a few dry years, unpack why going straight from zero to hero is a bad idea, and get into vaginismus, pelvic floor health, and why penetration might be the last thing you want to put back on the table. Then things get really interesting with a deep dive into body workers and internal mapping … Jay-Jay needed convincing this was a real job.There's also a very relatable tangent about trying to reconnect with your partner while the dog watches from the end of the bed, plus practical tools: sexual currency, breathwork, self-pleasure as a way back in, and the exact question to ask a partner who's gone quiet on sex.Whether you're single and out of practice or years deep in a relationship drift, this one's for you.How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams. This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets. Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HTHS for 20% off sitewide… Pleasure Delivered. JOIN OUR COMMUNITY! SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.com INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@howtohaves.pod FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast EMAIL [email protected] Support the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com Instagram: @melissavranjes Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
• 
  How to Get Really Turned On 03.08.2026 47λ

  Ever been genuinely attracted to someone and still felt... nothing? Or found a candle way more arousing than anything actually sexual? This week Jay-Jay and Mel dig into the real psychology of arousal: what turns you on, why it's not as simple as "just get in the mood," and how to figure out your own erotic blueprint.Mel introduces the erotic mind map, a tool she uses with her one-on-one clients, and puts Jay-Jay through it live on the mic. What starts as a laugh turns into a surprisingly honest conversation about connection, desire, exhibitionism, and a confession involving a romantic liason on a golf course!You'll learn the difference between liking a sex act and actually feeling turned on, how porn and pop culture shape what we think should arouse us, and a simple brakes and accelerators exercise you can try tonight. Plus: a Wild Secrets giveaway! How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams. This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets. Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HTHS for 20% off sitewide… Pleasure Delivered. JOIN OUR COMMUNITY! SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.com INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@howtohaves.pod FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast EMAIL [email protected] Support the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com Instagram: @melissavranjes Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
• 
  How To Get Out Of Your Head During Sex 28.07.2026 47λ

  Ever been fully naked, fully touched, and but still mentally reviewing the grocery list? Welcome to the club. This week Jay-Jay and Mel unpack why so many of us check out during sex, even when everything happening is objectively hot.They dig into the classic thinking-brain-versus-feeling-body problem, why meditation was never really about clearing your mind, the wild timing gap between when men and women tend to orgasm, and how old trauma responses like fawning can silently hijack your sex life without you noticing. Then Mel walks through her five go-to somatic tools, breath, awareness, movement, touch and sound, and demonstrates them live on the mic. Results: mixed, honest, very funny.Plus: redefining the quickie (it does not have to mean five minutes flat), the truth about lube, and why your partner genuinely cannot read your mind, so stop expecting them to. Homework included. Bring tissues, or don't, no judgment.Got a confession or a question for the show? Send it in, we might read it out (anonymously, always).How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams. This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets. Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HTHS for 20% off sitewide… Pleasure Delivered. JOIN OUR COMMUNITY! SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.com INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@howtohaves.pod FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast EMAIL [email protected] Support the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com Instagram: @melissavranjes Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
• 
  How To Stop Faking It and Start Being Honest In Bed 21.07.2026 36λ

  Confession time: we've both faked it. 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️This week Jay-Jay and Mel get real about faking it, and we're not just talking about orgasms. We're talking about every quiet way we abandon ourselves in bed: nodding along, holding our breath, pretending we're way more flexible than we actually are.Mel breaks down why faking it is actually a smart nervous-system survival strategy, not a character flaw, and how it quietly builds resentment and chore sex over time if left unchecked. We get into the four stress responses: fight, flight, freeze, and the one nobody talks about, fawn, plus real phrases to use instead of faking it, and how to take feedback from a partner without spiralling.We also talk a little too much about swallowing. By the end, you'll have real language to use tonight, a pleasure practice to try this week, and hopefully a little less pressure to perform and a little more permission to just be honest.💌 Subscribe to our Substack for early episodes, our weekly pleasure practice and behind-the-scenes extras. 🎓 How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams. This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets. Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HTHS for 20% off sitewide… Pleasure Delivered. JOIN OUR COMMUNITY! SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.com INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@howtohaves.pod FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast EMAIL [email protected] Support the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com Instagram: @melissavranjes Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
• 
  How To Get Over Your Body and Sex Insecurities 14.07.2026 54λ

  This week Jay-Jay & Mel get vulnerable, and a little unhinged, talking about body confidence and sex insecurities. Jay-Jay finally admits the one insecurity she's never been able to shake. Mel spills on her breast implants: why she got them at 23, and why she took them out eight years later. They dig into where body shame actually comes from (hint: it's rarely just you), why labiaplasty is booming even though the "problem" is just a normal vulva, and have a full tangent about pubic hair trends.Mel walks Jay-Jay through a real-time somatic exercise to rewire an old belief, and by the end of it Jay-Jay has a brand new mantra that will absolutely end up on a t-shirt.Expect body image talk, self-esteem wins, a few belly laughs, and genuinely useful tools for building body confidence and self-love, in and out of the bedroom.If you've ever turned the lights off, sucked it in, or hidden a part of yourself during sex, this episode is for you.🎧 New episodes every week. Rate, review and follow, so you never miss one.Explicit — listener discretion advised.How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams.This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets.Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HTHS for 20% off sitewide…Pleasure Delivered.JOIN OUR COMMUNITY!SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.comINSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcastFACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcastYOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@HowtohavesexpodcastEMAIL [email protected] the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesexHow To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nzHOSTS:Jay-Jay Feeney – Media PersonalityInstagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeneyMelissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coachwww.melissavranjes.comInstagram: @melissavranjesReady to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
• 
  How To Navigate Love, Judgment and an Age Gap: Jay-Jay & Minou 07.07.2026 44λ

  She met him on Facebook. He lived on the other side of the world. She didn't tell a soul for two years.This week Mel flips the script and puts Jay-Jay in the hot seat. We're talking about Jay-Jay's relationship with her partner Minou, the 18-year age gap, meeting through a random Facebook DM, navigating two completely different cultures and religions, and every single opinion the internet has ever had about it.Jay-Jay tells us how she tested a stranger's "humanness" before believing he was real, why she kept the relationship secret from literally everyone (including her ex-husband), and the moment she finally came clean. We also get into the comment that compared her to a 90-year-old prune, the woman who threatened to "knock her teeth out," and why block-block-block is a completely valid coping mechanism.Mel and Jay-Jay dig into the bigger question underneath it all, why do unconventional relationships make people so uncomfortable, and how do you protect your peace when strangers (and sometimes friends) decide they've got a say in your love life?Funny, personal, and honestly a bit of a tearjerker in places. Buckle up.How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams. This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets. Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HTHS for 20% off sitewide… Pleasure Delivered. JOIN OUR COMMUNITY! SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.com INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast EMAIL [email protected] Support the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com Instagram: @melissavranjes Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
• 
  How To Get Better at Foreplay 30.06.2026 46λ

  Foreplay. Everyone's heard of it. Not everyone's doing it right.In this episode, Jay-Jay and Mel break down what foreplay actually is (spoiler: not just a quick neck kiss and a rub before getting to the main event), why rushing it is one of the biggest bedroom mistakes people make, and how slowing down can completely change your sex life.We also get into the surprisingly non-sexual stuff that counts as foreplay, plus: why your body literally needs time to prepare for penetration (there's a physiological process called tenting and it will change how you think about this forever), the art of attunement, why the quickie you think was spontaneous... wasn't, and how to talk to a partner who treats foreplay like they're late for a flight.In this episode:Why foreplay starts way before the bedroomThe psychological side of arousal, and why safety matters more than techniqueWhat is tenting and why your body needs itAttunement: the real skill underneath all the movesHow to talk to a partner who skips straight to the jackhammerSexting as foreplay (Mel is a big fan)The Pleasure Practice: penetration off the table, entirelyHow to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams.This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets.Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide…Pleasure Delivered.JOIN OUR COMMUNITY!SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.com INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcastFACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcastYOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@HowtohavesexpodcastEMAIL [email protected] the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesexHow To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nzHOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media PersonalityInstagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeneyMelissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coachwww.melissavranjes.comInstagram: @melissavranjesReady to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
• 
  How To Spice It Up In Long-Term Relationships 23.06.2026 51λ

  Ever caught yourself calling your partner "babe" right before asking them to take the bins out, and that was basically the most romantic thing that happened all week? Yeah. This one's for you.This week JJ and Mel are talking about how to bring the spice back into long-term relationships, and no, it doesn't start with a sex swing. They unpack why couples slip into "flatmate energy," the sneaky way resentment kills desire faster than tiredness ever could, and why foreplay actually starts at 11am, not 11pm. Mel breaks down brakes vs accelerators, spontaneous vs responsive desire, and why being too comfortable with your partner might be the actual problem. Plus: the spousal arousal radio story, a boat-bed confession gone wrong, and the case for bringing back a little "puppy energy" when your partner walks in the door.If you and your partner have started to feel more like co-managers of a household than lovers, this episode is your sign to do something about it (and it's way less effort than you think).How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams. This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets. Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide… Pleasure Delivered. JOIN OUR COMMUNITY! SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.com INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast EMAIL [email protected] Support the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com Instagram: @melissavranjes Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
• 
  How To Bring Your Fantasies To Life 16.06.2026 46λ

  Turns out almost everyone has a fantasy they've never told a single soul. This week Jay-Jay and sex & relationship coach Mel Vranjes get into sexual fantasies; what's actually going on underneath them, why just talking about one can be almost as hot as living it out, and how to bring it up with your partner without causing a small relationship earthquake.Mel shares the research on the most common fantasies (group sex, power play, and being completely ravished all made the list), and we talk through how to find the feeling behind a fantasy so you're not stuck trying to recreate an exact scene from a book.Also in this episode: Jay-Jay's worst date story ever, the golden showers chat nobody asked for, why pegging makes so many people squirm and shouldn't, and a Pleasure Practice that's basically just permission to daydream a bit more.Topics: sexual fantasies, fantasy communication, kinks and power play, BDSM basics, intimacy and desire, couples communication, sex education, relationship adviceHow to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams. This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets. Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide… Pleasure Delivered.JOIN OUR COMMUNITY!SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.comINSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcastFACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcastYOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@HowtohavesexpodcastEMAIL [email protected] the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesexHow To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nzHOSTS:Jay-Jay Feeney – Media PersonalityInstagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeneyMelissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coachwww.melissavranjes.comInstagram: @melissavranjesReady to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
• 
  How To Initiate Sex 09.06.2026 37λ

  Ever wanted to make the first move and just… froze? Initiating is one of the most vulnerable things we do, and almost nobody talks about how hard it is.This week Jay-Jay Feeney and somatic sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes get into how to initiate sex without the fear of rejection: why it can feel scarier than the sex itself, how to handle a "no" without spiralling, and the tiny shifts that bring desire back to life in long-term relationships.Inside this episode:Why initiating feels so loaded (and why long-term love makes it harder, not easier)The one-word response to "no" that stops the shame spiral in its tracksMismatched desire; are you and your partner even speaking the same language?Ovens vs gas hobs: why "preheating" outside the bedroom changes everythingEmily Nagoski's gateways into desire: play, care and curiosityReal, low-stakes ways to initiate tonight: flirty texts, kissing, music, massagePlus your Pleasure Practice DMs, including the "I was meant to be the submissive one" plot twistWhether you're the one who always makes the first move, the one who's given up trying, or somewhere in between, this one's for you.How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes. Every episode is designed to educate, inform, and start the conversations that most of us were never taught to have. This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets. Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide… Pleasure Delivered. SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.com INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast EMAIL [email protected] Support the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com Instagram: @melissavranjes Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
• 
  How to Explore Beginner-Friendly BDSM 02.06.2026 46λ

  BDSM. Two seconds after hearing that word, most people picture whips, chains, leather, and some kind of expensive basement situation. (Just me? Okay, just me.)This week, certified somatic sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes breaks down what BDSM actually is — and spoiler: it's a much wider, far less terrifying spectrum than you think.We cover:What BDSM really means (and what it definitely doesn't have to mean)Why so many people are secretly curious about power play, restraint, and dominance, and feel weirdly ashamed about itThe psychology behind dominant people wanting to submit, and vice versaHow to go from "we've vaguely thought about this" to actually trying it, without a cringe disasterThe beginner's menu: easy, low-stakes things to explore firstConsent conversations that don't feel like a workplace health and safety briefingSafewords, aftercare, and the mistakes people make, copying what they've seen onlineAnd this week's Pleasure Practice to try at homeWhether you're deeply curious, mildly intrigued, or just here to find out what all the fuss is about, this one's for you.Don't start with a whip and a prayer. Start here. How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes. Every episode is designed to educate, inform, and start the conversations that most of us were never taught to have.This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets.Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide…Pleasure Delivered.SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.com INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcastFACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcastYOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@HowtohavesexpodcastEMAIL [email protected] the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesexHow To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nzHOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media PersonalityInstagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeneyMelissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coachwww.melissavranjes.comInstagram: @melissavranjesReady to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
• 
  How To Keep Porn From Replacing Intimacy 26.05.2026 44λ

  Porn. We're going there. Whether you watch it, your partner watches it, or you've never really thought about it, this episode is the honest, shame-free conversation you didn't know you needed.Jay-Jay and Mel explore why porn is so wildly popular, what your search history might (and might not) say about you, and the real question nobody asks: is your porn use helping, or quietly replacing intimacy in your relationship?This is sex education, not judgment. We cover:Why men and women consume porn so differently, and what women are actually looking forThe psychology of eroticism and why taboo fantasies make sensePorn and relationships: when it's fine, when it's not, and what to do when you've just caught your partner watching it (Mel shares her story, and it's a good one)The top-searched categories in 2025 and what that tells us about desireHow porn can actually rewire your body's arousal response, and make it harder to orgasm with a partnerEthical porn: what it means, and where to find it (Erika Lust gets a mention)Audio erotica, smut, and other ways to explore desire beyond visual pornMentioned in this episode: https://erikalust.com/ for ethical porn, and if you want to listen to the best audio erotica, try https://www.tryquinn.com/ or https://www.dipseastories.com/ Next week: BDSM.Subscribe so you don't miss a thing. And if this episode resonated, leave us a review. It genuinely helps. How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes. Every episode is designed to educate, inform, and start the conversations that most of us were never taught to have. This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets. Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide… Pleasure Delivered. SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.com INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast EMAIL [email protected] Support the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex How To Have Sex is produced at PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com Instagram: @melissavranjes Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
• 
  How To Actually Get Your Needs Met In Bed (Without Killing The Mood) 19.05.2026 45λ

  Asking for what you want in bed might be the scariest thing you never do. Scarier than being naked. Scarier than asking for a pay rise. And for a lot of us, we'd rather go along with it, fake it, or hope they read our minds.In this episode, sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes and broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney get into the real reason we go quiet in the bedroom, and what to do about it.You'll learn:Why communication in bed is actually a courage problem, not a confidence problemThe worst time (and best time) to bring up a new requestHow to frame what you want so it sounds like a connection, not a complaintWhat to do when your partner shuts downScripts and examples you can actually useWhether you've been together forever or you're still in the honeymoon phase, this episode will help you stop hinting and start asking.Pleasure Practice: Build some courage. Pull the courage you already use outside the bedroom, and bring it in.How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes. Every episode is designed to educate, inform, and start the conversations that most of us were never taught to have. This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets. Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide… Pleasure Delivered. SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.com INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast EMAIL [email protected] Support the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com Instagram: @melissavranjes Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
• 
  How to Self-Pleasure (and Why it Will Change Your Partnered Sex Life) 12.05.2026 52λ

  Did you know your solo sex life is literally the foundation of your partnered sex life?In this episode, Jay-Jay finally figures out why this topic makes her want to crawl under the duvet and never come out, and it's more relatable than you'd think.Certified somatic sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes breaks down everything women were never taught about self-pleasure: where the shame actually comes from, why we were never given this education, and how exploring your own body is one of the most powerful things you can do for your sex life, with or without a partner.We cover:Why female self-pleasure has been stigmatised for centuries (and male pleasure hasn't)How self-pleasure builds body literacy and improves partnered sexWhy rushing is the biggest mistake most people makeHow to diversify your pleasure and avoid being wired to only one pathwayWhether you can get "addicted" to your vibrator (yes, really)Masturbating in front of your partner - hot or not?How to handle mismatched libidos without guilt or obligation sexJay-Jay has an unexpected breakthrough on camera that stopped us bothPlus Mel's pleasure practice for the week, and Jay-Jay's very honest response to it.Next episode: How to Get Your Needs Met in Bed (Without Turning It Into a Performance Review).How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes. Every episode is designed to educate, inform, and start the conversations that most of us were never taught to have.This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets.Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide…Pleasure Delivered.SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.comINSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcastFACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcastYOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@HowtohavesexpodcastEMAIL [email protected] the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesexHow To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nzHOSTS:Jay-Jay Feeney – Media PersonalityInstagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeneyMelissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coachwww.melissavranjes.comInstagram: @melissavranjesJoin Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
• 
  How to Butt Play (Without Making it Weird or Scary) 05.05.2026 40λ

  Anal play. Butt stuff. The backdoor. Whatever you call it, more people are curious than will ever admit it. So this week, Jay-Jay and Mel are going there. Literally.Certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes joins a very nervous, very clenching Jay-Jay Feeney to unpack everything about anal and butt play, for all bodies and all genders. From the biology, to the beginner steps, to the stuff nobody talks about.In this episode:Why butt play is so taboo (and why that's changing)The male G-spot (yes, the prostate) and why most men have no idea what they're missingHow women can experience orgasms from anal stimulationThe difference between external and penetrative play (you do NOT have to go all in to enjoy it)Mel's three beginner techniques: The Doorbell, The Credit Card, and CirclesHow to prepare properly, and why porn has got it dangerously wrongThe importance of lube, going slow, and communicationWhat NOT to do (don't cross-contaminate, don't use spit, and absolutely never surprise someone mid-sex)How to bring it up with a partner without making it weirdRecovering from a bad experienceThis week's Pleasure Practice (JJ's reaction is priceless)Curious but nervous? That's exactly who this episode is for.This episode is sponsored by Wild Secrets. NZ's premium pleasure destination. Use code HAVESEX for 20% off. Pleasure delivered. wildsecrets.co.nz SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.com INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast EMAIL [email protected] Support the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com Instagram: @melissavranjes Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school Want more from Mel? She writes a weekly sex column for Woman's Day magazine. Pick up the latest issue to read it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.