The Wizard Wheezes

Not With a Bang - Chapter 40 01.06.2026 35m

Chapter 40 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Not With a Bang - Chapter 39 29.05.2026 28m

Chapter 39 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Not With a Bang - Chapter 38 26.05.2026 36m

Chapter 38 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Not With a Bang - Chapter 37 22.05.2026 19m

Chapter 37 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Not With a Bang - Chapter 36 18.05.2026 30m

Chapter 36 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Not With a Bang - Chapter 35 15.05.2026 55m

Chapter 35 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Not With a Bang - Chapter 34 11.05.2026 16m

Chapter 34 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Not With a Bang - Chapter 33 08.05.2026 24m

Chapter 33 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Not With a Bang - Chapter 32 04.05.2026 27m

Chapter 32 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Not With a Bang - Chapter 31 01.05.2026 32m

Chapter 31 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Not With a Bang - Chapter 30 27.04.2026 24m

Chapter 30 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Not With a Bang - Chapter 29 24.04.2026 30m

Chapter 29 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Not With a Bang - Chapter 28 20.04.2026 31m

Chapter 28 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Not With a Bang - Chapter 27 17.04.2026 23m

Chapter 27 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Not With a Bang - Chapter 26 13.04.2026 34m

Chapter 26 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Not With a Bang - Chapter 25 10.04.2026 21m

Chapter 25 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Not With a Bang - Chapter 24 06.04.2026 37m

Chapter 24 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/vSound Effect by <a href="https://pixabay.com/users/phobiix-44140892/?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=music&utm_content=213549">phobiix</a> from <a href="https://pixabay.com//?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=music&utm_content=213549">Pixabay</a>Sound Effect by <a href="https://pixabay.com/users/freesound_community-46691455/?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=music&utm_content=45693">freesound_community</a> from <a href="https://pixabay.com/sound-effects//?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=music&utm_content=45693">Pixabay</a> Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Not With a Bang - Chapter 23 03.04.2026 21m

Chapter 23 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Not With a Bang - Chapter 22 30.03.2026 21m

Chapter 22 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Not With a Bang - Chapter 21 27.03.2026 27m

Chapter 21 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.