The Terri Cole Show

Episodios

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  864 Father Wound & HFC 15.09.2026 22m

  Are you the one who handles everything for all the people? Are you the fixer? The one who rarely needs or asks for help? Are you the one who does all the things for all the people? Be honest with yourself. If so, you may have a father wound that is hiding in plain sight — because the very capability you have keeps this unhealed wound hidden. That is exactly what this episode is about: why the father wound can be especially hard to recognize in high functioning women, how high functioning codependency can keep you stuck in patterns of self-abandonment, and why how you feel and what you want matters as much as what you accomplish. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/864
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  863 Build an Empowered Blended Family with Cameron Normand 10.09.2026 31m

  Build an Empowered Blended Family with Cameron Normand In this episode of The Terri Cole Show, I sit down with nationally recognized stepfamily expert Cameron Normand to explore the unique challenges stepmoms face and why traditional parenting advice often doesn't work for blended families. Cameron shares practical guidance on building relationships with stepchildren, navigating parenting and discipline, setting clear expectations with partners, and managing the stress of stepfamily life. She also explains why it can take four to seven years for a stepfamily to feel cohesive and why moving at the children's pace is essential. Cameron also shares details about her annual Stepmom Summit, a virtual event designed to give stepmoms expert guidance, resources, and a supportive community. The summit starts September 14th, and you can grab a free ticket at terricole.com/stepmomsummit You can get the show notes at terricole.com/863
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  862 How the Father Wound Impacts Emotional Safety in Relationships 08.09.2026 19m

  Having an unhealed father wound impacts your ability to create emotional safety in your relationships. If you grew up in a house where emotional safety was not part of your relationship with your father, calm can feel weird or unfamiliar, and vulnerability can feel risky. Trusting another person to be there for you, if that wasn't your experience, may feel  counterintuitive. In this episode, we're exploring how father wounds impact our ability to feel safe in relationships, why calm can feel so unfamiliar, and what emotional safety can look like as we heal. We may have learned to protect ourselves through high-functioning codependency, hyper-vigilance, or hyper-independence. These strategies made sense at the time, but they can keep us from the safety we actually want now. From The Episode:  A father wound is a worthiness wound. We may have learned in childhood that we weren't good enough as we were. Without emotional safety from our fathers, we find other ways to protect ourselves: high-functioning codependency, hyper-vigilance, or hyper-independence. When your system is more familiar with hypervigilance than with safety, you may be drawn to relationships that are familiar but not necessarily good. We repeat what we do not repair. If you're not attracting someone who's calm and securely attached, we may need to heal the wound first. Emotional safety is the felt sense that you can be yourself and still belong. You can have needs, say no, and make mistakes without being punished or rejected. I wrote a whole book on father wounds to help you understand how they show up in your relationships, your sense of safety, your self-worth, and the way you give and receive love. If you're ready to start healing those patterns at the root, preorder your copy today. Plus, when you preorder now at https://fatherwoundbook.com, you'll get a free 3-hour virtual healing retreat. 
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  861 Feel Hot, Healthy, and Unbothered With Liz Tenuto 03.09.2026 32m

  What if the key to better sleep and less stress wasn't doing more, but moving less? In this episode, I sit down with Liz Tenuto, aka The Workout Witch, to talk about somatic exercises, nervous system regulation, and why so many of us can't sleep or relax. Liz teaches tiny, lazy movements that release stored tension from the body, and she demonstrates three of them during our conversation. We also talk about why standard sleep advice fails trauma survivors, and how dissociation shows up in women who take care of everyone but themselves. If you feel wired but tired and can't remember the last time you felt truly rested, this episode is for you. 00:00 Welcome to The Terri Cole Show 02:29 Liz's Origin Story: Chronic Pain, Bad Sleep & 10 Years of Searching 05:28 Why Somatics Is Not Woo-Woo: The Science & Ancient Roots 08:23 Why Sleep Issues Are So Widespread Right Now 10:08 How to Luxuriate Your Sleep Routine (Especially If You're a Trauma Survivor) 13:39 The Hip-Rocking Exercise That Helps You Fall Asleep 17:14 Fight-Flight vs. Freeze: What Nervous System Dysregulation Actually Looks Like 20:24 What Dissociation Really Means Beyond Just Zoning Out 22:41 Two Somatic Fixes: Ear-Pulling for Dissociation & Forehead-Swiping for Fight-or-Flight 25:15 Inside "When the Body Speaks" & Where to Find Liz you can get the shownotes at terricole.com/861  
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  860 The Father Wound–Boundary Connection 01.09.2026 21m

  If setting a boundary feels like you're risking the whole relationship, your unhealed father wound might be why. When the person who was supposed to protect you didn't, you can grow up without the sense that you're even allowed to say no. In this episode, I'm walking through how the father wound shapes your boundaries, the different father archetypes and the specific boundary struggles each one creates, and why so many of us never learned we were allowed to protect ourselves in the first place. Whether your father was absent, critical, emotionally distant, abusive, unreliable, narcissistic, passive, or played favorites, those wounds can make certain boundaries especially difficult. It often comes back to the same things: learning to protect yourself, honoring your needs, and being able to disappoint other people without abandoning yourself. The best part of healing your father wound is that you don't have to keep going along to get along anymore. Not sure if your father wound is affecting your boundaries? Get the journal prompts from this episode to uncover how your father wound may still be shaping your boundaries, relationships, and ability to say no.  terricole.com/860 KEY TAKEAWAYS If your father didn't protect you, you may have learned you weren't worth protecting. That belief shapes your boundaries in adulthood. Different father archetypes create different boundary struggles: absent fathers make saying no feel like abandonment, critical fathers make you fear getting it wrong, narcissistic fathers teach you that your needs don't matter. Pleasing, being compliant, achieving to belong — these are the opposite of having healthy boundaries. They kept you safe as a child, but they're not serving you now. You'll never build the life you want if it's built on self-abandonment. You don't need your father's permission or participation to heal your father wound. This work is for you. I wrote an entire book to walk you through this work. Pre-order Father Wound and get access to a free 3-hour virtual retreat with me. fatherwoundbook.com
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  859 On Our Knees with Regena (Mama Gena) Thomashauer 27.08.2026 34m

  What if surrender could help you reconnect with pleasure, heal emotionally, and feel fully alive again? In this powerful conversation, I sit down with Regena Thomashauer to explore surrender, pleasure, self-healing, and emotional healing. We talk about why high-functioning women can become exhausted from trying to control everything, how surrender is different from submission, and what happens when we stop fighting our lives. Regena shares her deeply personal journey from trauma and self-doubt to discovering the power of pleasure, reconnecting with her body, and learning to trust what comes next. If you're ready to let go of control, reconnect with pleasure, and discover a new way to move through burnout and life's difficult moments, this conversation is for you.  Find the show notes at terricole.com/859
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  858 The Art of Self-Soothing (396 Re-Run) 25.08.2026 20m

  Let's say you have a rough interaction with someone, a disappointing outcome, or you get bad news–what do you do to help yourself feel better? Do you have a couple of drinks? Maybe smoke a little weed? Or eat a tub of ice cream? No judgment here, but I want to invite you to think about it because many of us confuse self-numbing with self-soothing.  In this episode, you'll learn my favorite self-soothing tips, healthy ways to support your nervous system and emotional wellbeing, plus how to create your own self-soothing and stress relief toolkit.  Learning how to effectively self-soothe can be life-changing!  Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/396
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  857 The Power of 'Moving Art' for Mental Health with Louie Schwartzberg 20.08.2026 43m

  What if beauty could change the way you experience life? In this conversation, I sit down with visionary filmmaker Louie Schwartzberg to talk about gratitude, nature, beauty, wonder, and mental health—and why paying attention to the natural world can help us become more present and connected. Louis shares the story behind his breathtaking films Fantastic Fungi, Gratitude Revealed, and Moving Art, and explains why he believes beauty can be a powerful antidote to a world filled with fear, conflict, and constant bad news. We talk about how nature teaches us to live, why gratitude begins with presence, and what happens when we slow down enough to actually see the beauty that's already around us. If you're feeling overwhelmed by the world, this conversation may give you a completely different way to look at it. Read the show notes for this episode at terricole.com/857
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  856 Signs of Abandonment Issues (374 Rerun) 18.08.2026 14m

  Do you find that you attach unusually quickly to people, whether in friendships or romantic relationships? Do you stay in relationships that you know are bad for you because the thought of being alone scares you more than staying in a bad relationship? Or do you repeatedly find yourself in relationships with unavailable people? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you might have abandonment issues. In this episode, I'm helping you recognize the signs of abandonment issues in adult relationships and reviewing the most common causes of chronic fear of abandonment. Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/374
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  855 Being Nice to Avoid Conflict Isn't Nice, It's Controlling - Here's Why (714 Rerun) 11.08.2026 22m

  Are you a nice person? Do you think it's possible to be too nice? Or that wanting to be nice is an excuse some high-functioning codependents hide behind to avoid conflict? In my personal and professional experience, it is possible to be too nice, and it's not great for your relationships.  In this episode, we'll explore what it means to be nice, what being too nice looks like, why it matters, and how to shift your behavior to authentic niceness. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/714
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  854 Discover Your Anxiety Type with Noelle McWard Aquino 06.08.2026 40m

  Anxiety doesn't always look like fear — sometimes it looks like control, perfectionism, people pleasing, and doing everything "right." In this episode of The Terri Cole Show, I explore the types of anxiety that often hide beneath high-functioning behaviors, codependency, and the struggle to set healthy boundaries. I sit down with anxiety expert Noelle McWard Akino to explain how anxiety can show up as catastrophizing, control, and distorted beliefs about ourselves. We talk about why high-functioning anxiety can look like success, how overthinking keeps us stuck, and why trying to control everything may actually be a sign that we don't feel safe. Understanding your types of anxiety can help you recognize your patterns, create healthier boundaries, and learn how to respond differently instead of being driven by fear. If you struggle with people pleasing, perfectionism, overthinking, self-doubt, or feeling responsible for everyone and everything, this conversation will help you understand the deeper roots of anxiety and begin your emotional healing journey. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/854
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  853 5 Signs your emotional boundaries need work (341 Rerun) 05.08.2026 19m

  Do you ever feel responsible for the feelings of others? Do you overgive and overfunction? Do you suffer from chronic indecision? If any of those things resonate, today's episode is for you. I am going to share with you five signs that your emotional boundaries need help. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/853
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  852 ADHD Regulation with Jenna Free 30.07.2026 33m

  ADHD nervous system regulation may be the missing piece behind ADHD paralysis, overwhelm, and executive dysfunction. What if many ADHD symptoms aren't just ADHD—but signs of a nervous system stuck in fight or flight? In this episode, I sit down with therapist and ADHD expert Jenna Free to explore a different way of understanding adult ADHD. We discuss why ADHD nervous system regulation can be more effective than relying on productivity hacks alone, how chronic fight-or-flight impacts executive functioning, and why slowing down—not pushing harder—may actually help you get more done. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/852
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  851 10 Signs You're Suppressing Your Anger (354 Rerun) 28.07.2026 18m

  When you're upset with someone about something, do you: Say nothing, but silently keep score? Talk to other people about it? Ice the person out? Send them a passive-aggressive or sarcastic text?  If any of those rang a bell, you are not alone which is why in this week's episode, I'm breaking down the top 10 indicators that you might be suppressing and/or unconsciously repressing your anger.  Raising your awareness around when you might be acting out feelings of frustration or anger is the first step to expressing yourself in a healthier way. I promise you, learning these skills will improve all of your relationships, including the one you have with yourself. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/354
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  850 Fair Fighting with Kim Polinder 23.07.2026 31m

  Conflict resolution isn't about avoiding arguments—it's about learning how to repair them. In this conversation, I explore why couples keep having the same fight, how attachment styles affect relationships, and why emotional regulation matters even more than communication when conflict arises. If you've ever wondered why arguments keep repeating or how to repair after an argument without feeling misunderstood, this episode is for you. We discuss conflict resolution strategies for couples, childhood wounds, relationship conflict, emotional healing, and the hidden patterns that shape healthy relationships. You'll also learn why most fights aren't really about the dishes, the chores, or the words being said—they're about deeper emotional needs and unresolved core wounds. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/850
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  849 Spot Emotional Manipulation (313 Rerun) 21.07.2026 19m

  Have you ever been in an argument with someone and before the end of the argument, even though they have done something quite egregious, you find yourself apologizing? Have you ever been in a heated exchange with someone and they straight up deny the thing you know they did? This could sound like, "What are you talking about?"; "I never said/did that."; or, "I'm worried about you." If you are nodding your head yes, then you are in luck because in today's episode of The Terri Cole Show, this is exactly what I'm addressing. Emotional manipulation is real, people! The more you know about it, the less you will fall victim to it. I'm teaching you all about Boundary Destroyers and their tactics so you can effectively protect yourself. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/313
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  848 Art Imitating Life with Filmmaker Tracie Laymon 16.07.2026 39m

  What happens when the father you needed never showed up? In this episode, I sit down with filmmaker Tracie Laymon, creator of Bob Trevino Likes It, to explore how growing up with an emotionally unavailable father shaped her life, relationships, and sense of self. We talk about the father wound, people-pleasing, self-abandonment, healing through safe relationships, and why chosen family can become part of our emotional recovery. If you've ever struggled with feeling unseen, constantly seeking approval, or wondering why healthy love feels unfamiliar, this conversation is for you. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/848
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  847 Codependency: From Confusion to Clarity (349 Rerun) 14.07.2026 19m

  Are you confused about what it means to be codependent? Do you ever wonder what codependency looks like in practice? If you're nodding your head yes, that's understandable. In my experience, there is often confusion around the topic of codependency, with a ton of misconceptions and a plethora of myths clouding up what it looks like in real life.  In today's episode, I'm delivering rock-solid clarity about what codependency is by showing you what it's not. Ready for some major myth-busting?! Let's go! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/349
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  846 Come Home to Yourself with Elena Brower 09.07.2026 34m

  Are you exhausted from trying to "fix" everyone and everything in your life? In this episode, I sit down with my dear friend, yoga mentor, and author Elena Brower to discuss why letting go is the ultimate act of self-love. We've been conditioned to think that love means fixing, controlling, or "managing" the people around us. But what if the most powerful thing you could do is simply hold space? In this episode, Elena Brower—bestselling author of Hold Nothing: An Invitation to Let Go and Come Home to Yourself—shares her profound journey from high-functioning perfectionism to a life of presence and service. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/846
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  845 Disordered Boundaries + High-Functioning Codependency: What You Need to Know (716 Rerun) 07.07.2026 22m

  "Is she entitled? Or have you just been serving yourself up on a platter?" My therapist asked me that years ago, while I was mid-rant about a friend who kept asking me for favors. It stopped me cold, and it changed how I understood my own patterns. If you're the one who says "I got it" before anyone finishes asking, who anticipates everyone's needs, who lies awake wondering if you came off as selfish, this episode is for you. It's part one of a two-part series on boundaries and high functioning codependency, and I'm breaking down why boundaries are so hard for those of us who over-give, auto-accommodate, and self-sacrifice on autopilot.  You'll learn what boundaries are made of (your preferences, desires, limits, and deal breakers), how HFC traits create disordered boundaries, and why healthy boundaries are the bridge to the relationships you want. Ready for the scripts? Part two, with word-for-word boundary scenarios, is at terricole.com/718. This episode is part of our Best of The Terri Cole Show summer series: the most-requested episodes of the show, back to back, while new episodes are in the works for fall. Get the free assessment guide for this episode: terricole.com/guide Listen to part two: terricole.com/718 Find out where you stand with boundaries: boundaryquiz.com