You're Not Crazy: A Podcast for the Adult Children of Parents with Borderline and Narcissistic Personality Disorders

Episodios

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  The Story Behind Why I'm So Passionate About Helping Adults Navigate Their Dysfunctional Family Dynamics (Part One) 11.08.2026 28m

  >>>Grab my new guide, Surviving Interactions With a Narcissistic, Emotionally Immature, or Otherwise Toxic Parent: confidentboundaries.com/the-guide This week I'm sharing more about me: who I am, why I do the work that I do, and what led me to start this podcast. In this episode you'll learn: About my clinical background and how that led to me working almost entirely with adults who have parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disordersAbout my attempts to fill the gap s...
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  When "I'm Sorry" Doesn't Feel Like a Real Apology 04.08.2026 11m

  When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, apologies often function as a way to end the conversation, avoid accountability, or label you as the problem. And like many aspects of these types of family dynamics, apologies can be confusing and leave you replaying the conversation, wondering if you're being unreasonable by not fully accepting them. In this episode you'll learn: What a healthy apology actually looks likeWhy "I'm sorry" c...
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  Do Coping Skills Actually Work? What Cycle Breakers Need to Know About Healing from Family Trauma 28.07.2026 13m

  Coping skills and even CBT are getting demonized as shallow fixes that ignore trauma. But they play an important part in healing from the trauma of growing up with a parent who has narcissistic personality disorder or unmanaged borderline personality disorder. And it's why so many cycle breakers end up skipping the tools that would actually help them get through hard moments of their healing, like setting a boundary or facing a triggering conversation with their parent. In this episode you'll...
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  Feeling Crazy in a Chaotic Family: Why Clarity and Confidence Change Everything 21.07.2026 14m

  Growing up with a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder or strong narcissistic traits means growing up in chaos. Gaslighting makes you question your reality, walking on eggshells keeps your nervous system on high alert, leaving you feeling crazy in a family that insists everything is fine. In this episode you'll learn: How clarity about what's really happening in your family lets you make intentional decisions instead of throwing things at the wallWhy making choices based on w...
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  No New Episode This Week 14.07.2026 1m

  Support the show A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors! Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline. You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.
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  Am I Mean for Setting Boundaries? Why Taking Care of Yourself Feels Cruel 07.07.2026 12m

  When you were raised by a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, you learn early on that keeping the peace and managing your parent's moods is the "kind" thing to do. Your family conflates kindness with you taking on the job of regulating your parent's emotions, and now every boundary you try to set can feel like a moral failure instead of the basic self-care it actually is. In this episode you'll learn: The real difference between kindness and the emo...
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  Why You Can't Stop Reacting to a Parent with Narcissistic or Borderline Personality Disorder 30.06.2026 12m

  You've told yourself that this time you won't let it get to you, and somehow you still leave the conversation feeling defeated and distraught, wondering why you can't just let things go. When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, you learn to brace for the mean comments, the cruelty, the digs that come out of nowhere. And you work hard to get to a place of radical acceptance- acknowledging who your parent is and what you're li...
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  You Can Handle Anything, and That's the Problem: Capacity vs. Capability When You Were Raised by a Toxic Parent 23.06.2026 12m

  Too many cycle breakers know that moment when your phone lights up with the latest family emergency and you drop everything to try to calm the storm. When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, you learn early on that keeping the peace is what keeps you safe. So, when there's a crisis, of course you spring into action. In this episode we dive into: The difference between what you're capable of and what you actually have the capacity ...
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  How to Survive Father's Day When You Were Raised by a Toxic Parent 16.06.2026 15m

  When grow up with a toxic parent, Father's Day isn't an exciting celebration. It's a loaded weekend that sits heavy on your nervous system. And it's why the week leading up to it can leave you feeling completely drained before you even get to the main event. In this episode you'll learn: Why the week before and after Father's Day can feel just as heavy as the day itselfHow to make an intentional choice about your scrolling instead of letting it quietly wreck your weekA self-compassion practic...
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  Stop Explaining Your Boundary to Your Toxic Parent 09.06.2026 13m

  When you set a boundary with a narcissistic parent, or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, they tend to push back by acting like they don't get it. They argue, they question whether your boundary is even reasonable, they pull you into a debate about whether you should have it at all. It's why these conversations so often end with you backing down, second-guessing yourself, and wondering if you were the unreasonable one all along. In this episode you'll learn: Why a ...
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  Setting the Boundary Is Only Part One: What Most Cycle Breakers Miss 02.06.2026 13m

  You finally set the boundary and for about five seconds you felt proud of yourself. Then your parent pushed back and wished you could take it all back. When you have a parent with narcissistic or unmanaged borderline personality disorder, boundaries don't land the way you were taught they would. These types of parents are emotionally dysregulated, rely on you to manage their feelings, and read your boundary as a threat. It's why so many cycle breakers quietly decide boundaries jus...
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  Gaslighting and Self-Doubt: Why You Can't Trust Yourself When You Were Raised by a Parent with Narcissistic or Borderline Personality Disorder 26.05.2026 13m

  That moment where your brain short circuits because your parent just looked you dead in the eye and insisted the situation you’re describing never happened at all. When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, gaslighting isn't just a buzzword you read about on Reddit. It's the ever present way your parent avoids taking responsibility for their actions. And it's why, as an adult, you can sit across from someone you love, kn...
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  Toxic In-Laws: What to Do When Your Partner Won't Stand Up to Their Family 19.05.2026 17m

  If you’re dealing with toxic in-laws and feeling unsupported by your partner, this episode is for you. Today we’re talking about one of the most requested topics I’ve avoided covering for a long time: navigating dysfunctional in-law relationships when you’ve married into a toxic family system. We’ll talk about why dealing with toxic in-laws is different from dealing with your own family dynamics, how family enmeshment can make it incredibly hard for your partner to recognize unhealthy behavio...
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  How to Cope With Mother's Day Hangover When You Have a Mom with Borderline or Narcissistic Traits 12.05.2026 13m

  That heavy, drained, slightly nauseous feeling you've been carrying around since Sunday? You're not alone. If you grew up with a narcissistic mom or a mom with borderline personality disorder, Mother's Day doesn't simply end when the day ends. The emotional hangover that follows can be just as heavy as the lead-up, and it can leave you replaying every interaction, every word, every moment you wish you'd handled differently. In this episode you'll learn: Why the days after Mother's Day are so ...
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  Why "I'll Never Lose My Temper Again" Backfires When You're a Cycle Breaker Raised by a Parent with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder 05.05.2026 16m

  If you grew up with a parent who has borderline or narcissistic personality disorder, you know what it's like to have a crystal clear picture of what patterns you don’t want to repeat. The problem is that picture doesn't come with instructions for what it actually requires to do things differently, and that gap is where so many cycle breakers get stuck in a painful loop of tolerating too much, hitting a wall, and drowning in shame. Whether you're a parent yourself, navigating your relat...
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  How to Survive Mother's Day When You Have a Mom with Borderline or Narcissistic Traits 28.04.2026 23m

  When you grow up with a narcissistic mom or a mom with borderline personality disorder, Mother's Day hits different. The whole holiday is built on a story that doesn't match your reality, and it can feel like there’s no space for the reality you actually lived. Whether you're still in contact, low contact, no contact, or your mom has passed away, this day can bring up a complicated mix of feelings for adults who grew up with a mom who had borderline or narcissistic traits. In this episo...
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  It's Not Just Your Parent. It's Your Whole Family System. 22.04.2026 22m

  In this episode, Torie breaks down why dysfunctional families are so resistant to change, what actually happens when you bring new boundaries and skills back into your family, and why the pushback you're experiencing is not a sign you’re doing things wrong. Listen to learn: What sets a healthy-ish family apart from a dysfunctional one Why your family's behavior can get worse when you start growing Why pushback is not a sign you're doing something wrong How to stop letting...
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  What It’s Like to Have a Parent with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder 14.04.2026 33m

  In this episode, I walk you through: What patterns are common in narcissistic vs. borderline personality disorderWhy the diagnosis itself isn’t what matters mostWhat it feels like to grow up as a child dealing with a parent with these dynamicsThe key differences in behavior, motivation, and emotional impactWhy these relationships feel so confusing, intense, and destabilizingWe also talk about emotional volatility, lack of empathy, and why being emotionally vulnerable with these parents isn’t ...
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  Breaking the Cycle Is Complicated: Here’s a Roadmap 07.04.2026 17m

  If you grew up with a parent who had narcissistic or borderline traits, chances are no one ever showed you what being an emotionally healthy adult actually looks like. In this episode, I’m breaking down why healing feels so confusing, messy, and unclear and what you actually need in order to move forward. We’re talking about: Why “I don’t want to be like them” isn’t enough to create healthy changeThe skills cycle breakers were never taught growing upHow dysfunctional family systems create bli...
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  Does Your Parent Mean to Hurt You? Why Intent Doesn’t Matter (and What Actually Does) 31.03.2026 15m

  When you grow up with an emotionally unpredictable or narcissistic parent, it’s easy to get stuck trying to figure out their intent especially when there were both good and painful moments. In this episode, we’re breaking down why that question keeps you stuck and what actually matters when it comes to healing and setting boundaries. Because the truth is, it’s not about whether they mean to hurt you. It’s about what they continue to do and how it impacts you. Show Notes: Get a free sneak peak...