Maybe Baby

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• Dear Danny: My bf's addicted to junk food 15.10.2025 1t 47min

  Today we’ve got: a recently out queer person who’s new partner is pressuring them to become poly for political reasons, a friend who’s gone “eyebrow blind,” a boyfriend who recently confessed to being a “deeply closeted bisexual,” a toxic ex our questioner wants to sleep with, an in-law’s mortgage gift offer gone wrong, and finally a boyfriend who eats so much junk food it’s giving our questioner the ick. Love the questions, you guys are unstoppable. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit haleynahman.substack.com/subscribe
• #237: Blame it on the beauty industry 21.09.2025 1t 8min

  Hey!Last week I wrote about personal and political scapegoats and the heaven/hell of having something to blame all your problems on. The original inspiration for that essay was, randomly, a recent experience I had taking a new license photo, which had me thinking about the beauty industry in a new way, as a kind of scapegoat industrial complex. In the end, I didn’t mention beauty in the essay because it felt like a whole separate topic, one I’d rather explore in conversation. So I invited beauty critic Jessica DeFino on the podcast to discuss it.Jessica writes FLESH WORLD and is, to me, a consistently steadying voice in the headache of modern beauty discourse. I asked her to help me explore the idea of scapegoating in beauty and naturally this lead us all over the place, from the classic cosmetic procedure debate (a mini version of which took place in my podcast comments a couple weeks ago) to our own beauty scapegoats. I hope we were delicate enough with our language to avoid making anyone feel attacked! I think and hope we all have the same goals and are just trying to collectively figure out a humane way forward. (If you missed Jessica’s first appearance on my podcast, you can find it here.) (Also shout out to my episode with the GOAT Barry Schwartz, who I mention in this ep.)If you’re a free sub, welcome to the podcast! The episodes normally run on Wednesdays for my paid subs only, but I’m sharing today’s with everyone as a kind of part 2 to last week’s essay. You can listen through Substack (the site, the app) or your favorite podcast app by clicking the “Listen via…” button underneath the podcast player above.Also, trust I tell the (stupid) license story in detail, and on account of my journalistic integrity, have provided the photos below…Thanks for listening,Haleyp.s. ICYMI:-Lots of good discussion/analysis about Hannah Horvath and Fleabag in the discussion thread comments last Wednesday.-So many good recs for movies to watch with your kids (that don’t suck) under 15 things last week. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit haleynahman.substack.com/subscribe
• Dear Danny: Should I get a boob job? 10.09.2025 1t 51min

  A forbidden work crush, a boyfriend who’s taking a new hobby too seriously, an “overprotective” boyfriend, a hot guy who isn’t good in bed, a woman questioning whether to get a boob job, and a meet-cute involving rabies. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit haleynahman.substack.com/subscribe
• Dear Danny: Can we discuss my friend's selfie face? 13.08.2025 2t 22min

  Hey!Welcome back to Dear Danny. Today we’ve got seven questions: On an unfortunate selfie face (obviously we talk about this for like 30 minutes), an ill-conceived butt slap, a semantic in-law problem, a fear-of-authoritarianism relationship gap, a nose-picking coworker, a friend fully ignoring another friend’s pregnancy, and a married neighbor who won’t stop hitting on our question asker. Great questions as always!Some important photographic evidence of Danny’s much-discussed new haircut:Thanks for listening!Haley This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit haleynahman.substack.com/subscribe
• Dear Danny: How do I make peace with marrying the wrong guy? 16.07.2025 2t 18min

  Hey!Welcome back to Dear Danny. Today we chit chat for a loooong time then answer six reader questions. We discuss:* a meet-cute-gone-wrong (when she finds his Instagram)* how much a woman can expect her husband to change his lifestyle when they’re trying to get pregnant (and his semen analysis was so-so)* whether it’s gauche to invite yourself to social events* what to do when you’re several years into a relationship and trying to make peace with your doubts (rather than leave)* what to do when a friend gives you a bad poem to hang on your wall* and how to manage vastly different sex drives in a relationship.Amazing questions as always! And a reminder that the link/number to ask your own is at the bottom of every Maybe Baby email.Thanks for listening!Haley This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit haleynahman.substack.com/subscribe
• Dear Danny: Should my boyfriend give me money? 16.04.2025 2t 1min

  Ladies (gender-inclusive),It’s that time of the month! Danny’s back and we’re answering seven questions today. We have a will-they-won’t-they (on a trivia team), stoner in-laws who want to take care of the baby, a new kind of depression, a little choir drama, an annoying friend who wants to take a roadtrip, a guy who won’t help out his broke girlfriend, and someone who’s being extorted by her mailman (lol). Great stuff this month!!Danny’s headshot as promised in the intro of this episode:Thanks for listening!Haley This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit haleynahman.substack.com/subscribe
• 🎧Voice Note: Before you set a resolution 01.01.2025 19min

  Hello!So happy to be back with a Voice Note, a.k.a. solo podcast, for the first time in a while. This week I’m talking about a big lesson I learned last year (in my case about childcare) that might be relevant as you think about setting goals or resolutions for 2025.Missed you,Haley This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit haleynahman.substack.com/subscribe
• 🎧Dear Danny: Decoding the love-bomber 17.11.2024 1t 49min

  Hello and welcome back to Dear Danny!Today we’ll be discussing the ethical boundaries of “boys night,” who should foot the bill on a date, the complexities of addiction inside a relationship, the reason men love-bomb (from a love-bomber himself), how to handle a relative falling for a romance scam, and a bachelor trip gone sus. Reallllly good questions everyone. We love you so much.Also, if you’re reading this as a free subscriber, the free Q&A this round is the ethical boundaries of boys night (a civilized 20-minute episode).Thanks for listening!Haley This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit haleynahman.substack.com/subscribe
• 🎧Dear Danny: The in-law episode 13.10.2024 42min

  This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit haleynahman.substack.comHey!It’s mid-month which means it’s time for Danny and me to answer your burning questions. So hard to choose. This round we picked six: On navigating PMS-inspired fights (when you don’t want your feelings invalidated but also know you’re being a little cuckoo), how to have a serious reckoning with some difficult in-laws, how to be less depressed in the…
• 🎧Dear Danny: Can I innocently cheat? 11.08.2024 1t 37min

  Hi!Welcome back to Dear Danny. Today we’ve got NINE questions to answer: on “innocent” cheating, a boyfriend with a coke habit, a clingy coworker, a 12-year relationship that’s never felt exactly right, a friends-to-lovers arc, three separate questions on sex-troubled relationships, and a regretful ex-boyfriend. So much to cover so little time! Thank you as always for trusting us with your great questions. There are many we can’t get to but your time and energy is so cherished and appreciated!!Hope you have a nice Sunday,Haleyps. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit haleynahman.substack.com/subscribe
• 🎧Dear Danny: Should I end my relationship? 14.07.2024 1t 48min

  Hey!Welcome back to Dear Danny. Today we’ve got: an anxious husband, a bad kisser, a two-year breakup pattern, a move-in crisis, a narcissistic brother, a boring relationship, and the mystery of love! I already published the introduction to this episode on the 3rd, so we’re going to be diving straight in. I apologize for the diarrhea story—was ultimately a non sequitur.Thanks for listening,Haleyp.s. If you’re a free subscriber, you’re seeing this because I’ve shared one Q&A (bad kisser) with you today in lieu of an essay, similar to how I share one free Q&A every month of my advice column, Dear Baby. Hope you enjoy! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit haleynahman.substack.com/subscribe
• 🎧 Expectations vs reality: baby edition 20.03.2024 48min

  Hey!As a followup to my conversation with Harling and Crystal, I wanted to hone in on my most frequently asked question: What’s surprised me about motherhood? In this episode I tell you nine things about having a baby that have turned out totally different than I expected, in good ways and bad.Also curious to hear your own answers to this question, or reactions to mine!Thanks for listening,Haleyp.s. If you’re the type to notice, Wednesday is my new podcast publish day! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit haleynahman.substack.com/subscribe
• 🎧 Baby gossip (w/ Harling & Crystal) 05.03.2024 13min

  This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit haleynahman.substack.comHi!!I’m back on the sauce (listening to my own voice a sickening amount). Kicking things off with an episode about having a baby, with my friends Harling and Crystal, who also just had babies. I do want to apologize for talking about our buttholes, but certain things needed to be said. This will be a 2-part conversation. This week we’re covering:-What’s going on with our bodies postpartum-Birth and the days after-What’s surprised us the most (I’ve thought of like 20 things I didn’t include since recording this…)-Sleep deprivation-& more!Next week we’ll be covering: Whether we bonded with our babies right away, relationship stuff, philosophies about sharing our kids online, how we’re relating to friends without kids, and whether we have anything to add to the “kids or no kids” question now that we’re on the other side.Hit us up in the comments with your thoughts! I know you asked so many other good questions—I plan to cover them in future episodes. (Gotta get Avi in here too.)Thanks for listening!Haley
• 🎧Dear Danny: Am I allowed to want abs? 29.08.2023 2t 9min

  Hey!Your boy is back this week for an extra long round of Dear Danny. As I mentioned this past Sunday, today we’ll be answering four written questions and two call-ins that cover what to do when a joyful relationship with food and exercise becomes haunted by the pursuit of abs, why an open relationship might seem fun in theory then feel terrifying in practice, whether cheating “hall passes” are real, what to do with the unwanted advances of a good friend, how to deal with grief after an abortion, and lastly, another chronicle of a stinky boyfriend (one of our expertises). And as always a whole lot of asides I can’t possibly capture here.Thanks so much for all your amazing questions. You can always write in with more here or leave us a voicemail at 802-404-BABY!Haley This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit haleynahman.substack.com/subscribe
• 🎧 Dear Danny: Should I move to the sea? 01.08.2023 1t 50min

  Hello!It’s time for another episode of Dear Danny. Today we’ll be answering questions about whether sexual attraction is 100% necessary at the beginning of a relationship, what to do if your friends are never on time, what to do if you see your romantic partner do something TRULY DISGUSTING (this one had us dying), how to deal with ennui about where you live, and whether it matters if you dislike your partner’s friends.Here’s Danny reading your questions while using my cervical traction neck device, as is his custom:Thanks for listening!Haley This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit haleynahman.substack.com/subscribe
• 🎧: The morality of the influencer 04.07.2023 45min

  Hello!I got a great question in my Dear Baby bank last month that felt better suited to a solo podcast than my written column, so I’ve decided to dedicate an entire episode to it. It concerns influencing, sponcon, advertising, selling out, and what constitutes a morally impactful choice in any of those realms. This episode is sort of a sequel to my answer to last month’s question about navigating immoral desires.Thanks for listening!HaleyP.s. Here’s the question in full if you’d like to read it yourself versus hear me read it at the beginning of the episode:Hi Haley! I'm trying to work through some of my own thoughts on fame/influencer culture and sponcon and have been thinking a lot about the costs associated with doing good when many societal structures seem to incentivize greed, ambition in all its forms...aka doing bad. This prompted me to reread your “When I was an influencer” newsletter and while I admire your dedication to your ideals, and often turn to you for clarity and understanding, my unsolicited POV is: I do wonder if you're being too hard on yourself?I also wonder how you manage to uphold such strict values of no brand deals without becoming bitter or resentful that so many other people are profiting off doing a lot worse. As well, writing and many artistic pursuits are notoriously precarious and fraught with financial distress. Even so, writers and people who are similarly public about their desire to "do good" are often held to standards of purity politics which to me feel unfair when we don't hold people in other professions (investment bankers, tech engineers, etc.) to the same standards.To be clear, I don't think doing sponcon (depending what it is) is even bad, necessarily, (perhaps neutral?) so I wonder why you think it is antithetical to what you are trying to do with your writing. I feel like writers deserve some kind of opportunity to make money, too...they are more deserving than so many people who are exploiting systems IMO. Judging by the products you do share (which are by no means "needs" but lovely recommendations, many of which I've purchased and enjoyed), I wonder why you think opting out of sponcon entirely is the best form of activism?Women (and people in general) are always buying products (some that we need, some that we genuinely want that make our lives better, and some that we don't want but are indoctrinated into wanting and lead us to a cycle of needless purchasing to mask our feelings of inferiority.) That is to say, I don't think all consumption is the same and perhaps if you advertised product that you believed in, it could have greater impact than promoting nothing? Isn't there a road where you could actually amplify and share brands you love that are making quality products or which are sustainably made? Like, is sharing an Amazon link of a cervical neck stretching device bad in and of itself because it's from Amazon and Jeff Bezos does not need more money, or is it only bad if you're profiting off that recommendation?Presumably, not all your purchasing decisions align with your ideals either, so then is the issue not your individual purchase but propagating it to a larger audience? I'm sure you use skincare products but where is the line between advertising something you actually like for money versus making women feel deficient about their natural skin? (I'm thinking of Jessica DeFino's wonderful writing.) Also, if a brand came to you and wanted to invest in Maybe Baby in a way that would give you more freedom, money, time off, etc. and if you actually liked the product, would that be a bad deal? Isn't it a good thing for a brand to use some of their money to invest in the development of art or thinking...which is what you do?All of this being said, I do think maybe I am missing something and I'd like to better understand what led you to maintaining a hard NO on sponcon now that you're in a position of financial stability. Do you ever waiver? Do you ever feel like you incur costs as a result of your moral code? Is it frustrating to do good and incur the financial losses when most people around you aren't holding themselves to the same standard?I struggle with this but I also don't want to conveniently self-mythologize to make it easier to sleep at night, ya know?! Isn't it an oversimplification to say “selling out is always a prerequisite to fame”? To some people, you're famous (I know you don't think so but you still have a considerable IG following and are recognizable to many) and you certainly haven't sold out. Of course, you perpetuated certain structures to get to this position and then stopped when you felt secure which I think is so admirable. But even still, what is selling out? Is it one brand deal? Is it multiple? What is fame? Is it reaching Oprah status or is it just trying to break six figures as an influencer?Help me make sense of this please. I hope none of the above came across as a criticism. I just truly adore everything you write and I felt like having you engage with my nonsensical brain might help me better understand my own views. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit haleynahman.substack.com/subscribe
• 🎧: A big Q&A about “trying” 03.01.2023 5min

  This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit haleynahman.substack.comHey!After revealing on Sunday that Avi and I are trying to have a kid, I am finally prepared to unload the 1,000+ thoughts I have on this process, the decisions that led to it, and what I’ve learned since I started. I have neverrrrrr recorded this long of a solo podcast. I had so many things to stay I was literally out of BREATH, lol. Since this one has a pretty clear topic breakdown, I am bestowing timestamps (rare):0-4:58: Intro/why I’m recording this episode4:58-27:50: How I decided I wanted kids and when I knew it was the right time (+ some bones I have to pick with the discourse around this!)27:50-34:25: How I feel about sidelining my creative/intellectual pursuits34:25-39:36: How I’m navigating fears around labor imbalances in my relationship that having kids may create/exacerbate39:36-40:35: How I feel about having a kid without being married40:35-43:51: What not to say to a friend who is struggling with the “trying” process (based on what I do/don’t prefer to hear)43:51-47:56: Whether Avi and I have seen a specialist/how I feel about medical intervention47:56-1:05:06: My experience with the literal trying process: Details on how I prepared, what it’s actualllllly like, how I’ve felt, perspectives that have helped me as it’s gone on1:05:06-1:10:26: How I’ve talked to friends and fam about “trying”/what I decided to share1:10:26-1:17:38: Whether it’s made sex weird/more fun/worse/awkward1:17:38-1:21:36: The fun, exciting (and dare I say beautiful) parts of this processThanks so much for your great questions. I’ll be hanging around the comments to discuss!Haley
• 🎧 Dear Danny: Should I rat out my boss? 01.11.2022 15min

  This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit haleynahman.substack.comHey!Welcome to another episode of Dear Danny, Danny’s-on-a-haunted-ranch edition. Today we’ll be answering six questions, about asymmetrical friendships, whether to rat out a lying boss, an ethical-non-monagomy-related pickle, how to trust yourself, how to deal with friends who won’t stop talking about the same problems, and how to stop moving your own …
• 🎧 Dear Danny: Does romance count if you're high? 30.08.2022 10min

  This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit haleynahman.substack.comHey!It’s Dear Danny time. This week we’re answering questions about friend envy, birthday sadness, romance on drugs, regrettable favors, body hair, and falling in love with a friend.Thanks for listening,Haley
• 🎧 Voice Note: The false promise of "settling down" 23.08.2022 14min

  Hi!Back with a Voice Note today about aging, and especially the cultural scripts around what happens as you do it. On Sunday I mentioned that my 30s have been more dynamic than cultural scripts indicated they would, and in this episode I talk more about what I meant by that. This is not a diatribe about what it means to be any particular age, but rather what I think it means to age (a.k.a. continue to be alive) in general.Hope you enjoy!Haley This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit haleynahman.substack.com/subscribe