Parenting Without Power Struggles

1: 71 Encore episode: A Conversation With Dr. Kristin Neff 09.04.2026 31min

In this conversation, Susan and Dr. Kristin Neff talks about the importance of cultivating both fierce and tender self-compassion, offering specific practices that parents can easily use when they're feeling overwhelmed, angry, or simply being hard on themselves. https://susanstiffelman.com/podcast-episode-kristin-neff/

1:79 Co-Parenting with a Narcissist, with Dr. Ramani Durvasula 02.04.2026 40min

In this episode, Susan talks with Dr. Ramani Durvasula, author of author of the new book, It's Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People, as well as the books Should I Stay Or Should I Go? Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist, and Don't You Know Who I Am? How To Stay Sane In An Era Of Narcissism, Entitlement and Incivility. Susan and Dr. Durvasula discuss difficulties, grief and legal challenges associated with co-parenting with someone who has narcissistic tendencies. https://susanstiffelman.com/podcast-episodes-ramani-durvasula/

2:10 Five Principles of Parenting with Aliza Pressman 25.03.2026 23min

Susan talks with Dr. Pressman about the five guiding principles for raising a good human: relationships, reflection, regulation, rules, and repair. They stress the importance of being a "good enough" parent, rather than striving for perfection, and emphasize that imperfection is a natural part of being human. http://pages.susanstiffelman.com/aliza-pressman-podcast-episode

3:48 The Uncomfortable Path to Resilience 17.03.2026 15min

Resilience isn't a trait kids either have or don't — it's something they build through repeated experiences of feeling hard emotions and getting through them, with a present and steady parent by their side. In this episode, Susan Stiffelman, Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, and Dr. Laura Markham explore why our instinct to fix our children's disappointment can actually work against us — and what to do instead. What "brain reps" are and why your child's meltdowns are actually opportunities in disguise Why the urge to fix your child's distress can communicate the opposite of what you intend Why emotion coaching — not problem solving — is the essential first step toward resilience Show notes and transcript available here

3:46 "I Didn't Mean to Say That!" 20.02.2026 14min

In this episode, Susan explores why we sometimes react in ways that don't match our intentions. Through the lens of Internal Family Systems, she encourages parents to view those moments as protective parts taking over—and reminds us that our steady, wise Self is never far away. How understanding your own parts helps you respond more calmly to your child's activated parts. Why intellectual understanding (attachment, neuroscience, regulation) isn't always enough in charged moments. A simple in-the-moment reframe that creates space for your steadier "captain" self to return. Visit this page for transcript

3:45 Captain of the Ship Meets IFS 13.02.2026 14min

In this episode, Susan is joined by Lisa Spiegel, author of Internal Family Systems Therapy with Children, for a conversation about how understanding our "parts" can transform our parenting life. They explore what it means to be Self-led, why you're not your anger (and your child isn't either), and how helping kids understand their parts builds confidence, compassion, and emotional resilience.

3:44 When Kids Turn to Chatbots for Emotional Support 28.01.2026 15min

In this episode, Susan explores how children are increasingly turning to AI chatbots not just for information, but for emotional reassurance — a shift that can quietly replace human connection. Drawing on insights from psychologist Dr. Zak Stein, she explains why real relationships, with their pauses, limits, and repair, are essential for healthy development, and how endlessly affirming bots can interfere with emotional growth. At its core, this conversation is about attachment — helping parents remain their child's safest place in a rapidly changing digital world.

3:43 Sparks of Joy in Everyday Parenting 16.01.2026 13min

In this podcast, Susan explores the quiet, everyday joy that often gets lost in the stress, demands, and constant pressures of parenting—and why these small moments of happiness are essential for both parents and children. Drawing on attachment theory, neuroscience, and Internal Family Systems, she explains how play, laughter, and lightness help regulate nervous systems, strengthen connection, and offers simple ways to bring more joy into daily life. https://pages.susanstiffelman.com/JoyPodcast

3:42 ADHD, with Dr. Ned Hallowell 09.01.2026 12min

In this episode, Susan and Dr. Hallowell share tips for talking with children about ADHD that emphasizes its benefits rather than using a "just try harder!" approach. ADHD is a trait both Susan and Dr. Hallowell share, and both see it as an asset that has made their lives better---with effective strategies and support. Why ADHD is better understood as a trait, not a deficit The real dangers to watch out for: shame and fear Why "try harder" backfires for kids with ADHD

3:41 Parenting With Less Drama and More Connection 10.12.2025 19min

In this episode, Susan explores what power struggles really are, why they arise so instinctively, and how parents can step out of them by embodying calm, confident leadership. Drawing from decades of work with families, she illustrates how pushing against a child's demands—whether about rides, rules, or routines—creates a cycle of resistance, while responding from the grounded "Captain of the Ship" state fosters cooperation, connection, and emotional growth. Susan explains that true change doesn't come from memorizing scripts, but from doing the inner work that allows parents to meet their children with authenticity, presence, and compassion. By reducing power struggles, families not only experience less conflict but also open the door to more closeness, teamwork, and the deep joy that comes from nurturing secure attachment. https://pages.susanstiffelman.com/less-drama-more-connection-podcast

3:40 Raising Kids Who Can Handle Differences with Kelsey Blahnik 03.12.2025 22min

Susan speaks with clinician and author Kelsey Blahnik about her new book The AND Way, a model that helps people navigate tension while staying connected across deep divides. Together, they explore how parents can raise children who are open-minded, compassionate, and capable of engaging respectfully with people who think differently. The episode encourages parents to cultivate respect, understanding, and emotional flexibility—skills essential for navigating today's increasingly polarized world. https://pages.susanstiffelman.com/kelsey-blahnik-podcast

3:39 Raising Resilience: Parenting Without Rescue 17.11.2025 13min

In this episode, Susan explores what resilience truly looks like in children and why it's essential for parents to allow kids to experience manageable frustration instead of rushing in to fix or smooth things over. She explains how a parent's instinct to rescue often comes from their own discomfort, and why doing our inner work is key to helping children develop the flexibility, confidence, and coping skills they'll need as adults. Susan highlights how staying present, loving, and supportive—without taking over—allows children to build the emotional "muscles" that prepare them for life's inevitable ups and downs. https://pages.susanstiffelman.com/parenting-without-rescue-podcast

3:38 The Power of Storytelling with Rabbi Michael Zedek 29.10.2025 30min

In this episode, Susan connects with her longtime friend, Rabbi Michael Zedek, exploring the power of storytelling as a way to transmit values, resilience, and compassion to children and adults alike. Rabbi Zedek shares wisdom from his five decades as a spiritual leader, reflecting on how stories help people internalize lessons more deeply than lectures or rules ever could. Their dialogue touches on the importance of interfaith understanding, curiosity, and empathy—reminding listeners that connection, kindness, and shared humanity are what sustain us. https://pages.susanstiffelman.com/podcast-michael-zedek

3:39 The Parent Brain with Dr. Rita Eichenstein 25.10.2025 13min

In this episode, Susan talks with neuropsychologist Dr. Rita Eichenstein about the parent brain—how becoming a parent literally reshapes the brain, rewiring it for empathy, resilience, multitasking, and emotional intelligence. Dr. Eichenstein and Susan explore how understanding these changes can help parents recognize parenthood as a distinct and profound stage of human development, and appreciate the brain's remarkable capacity to evolve through love and caregiving. https://go.susanstiffelman.com/parent-brain-podcast

3:37 Supporting Sensitive Kids with Dr. Judith Orloff 20.10.2025 17min

In this episode, Susan speaks with Dr. Judith Orloff about the gifts of sensitivity, offering encouragment and insight for parents of these tender-hearted, deep feeling children and teens. https://pages.susanstiffelman.com/podcast-judith-orloff

3:36 Parenting as a Path to Healing 09.10.2025 11min

In this episode, Susan explores one of the most powerful truths about parenting: that the most important thing we can do for our children is to work on ourselves. Drawing inspiration from Dr. Gabor Maté's insight and her training in Internal Family Systems (IFS), Susan explains how our emotional state, unresolved wounds, and inner "parts" profoundly shape our children's sense of safety and connection. She shares simple, compassionate ways to notice when we're triggered, name the parts that get activated, and return to our calm, wise "Captain" self. https://go.susanstiffelman.com/parenting-as-healing-podcast

3:35 Nurturing Closeness With Your Kids 02.10.2025 9min

In this episode, Susan emphasizes the importance of emotional connection between parents and children, even amid the busyness of daily life. She reassures parents that deep closeness doesn't require elaborate outings or large chunks of time, but can be nurtured through small, intentional practices like sharing a genuine smile, creating five-minute rituals, repairing after moments of tension, and entering a child's world by showing interest in what they love. She encourages cultivating these small habits of connection to not only strengthens a child's sense of being seen and valued, but also to nourish parents, filling both with greater closeness, joy, and resilience. https://pages.susanstiffelman.com/nurturing-closeness-podcast

3:34 Threats vs. Boundaries: Set Limits That Build Connection 22.08.2025 12min

In this episode, Susan explores the important difference between threats and boundaries in parenting. Susan illustrates the contrast between threats and boundaries using real-life examples—such as homework, chores, and screen time. She highlights how shifting from reactive threats to steady boundaries strengthens trust and cooperation while giving children the security and clarity they need. https://pages.susanstiffelman.com/threats-boundaries-podcast

3:33 Parenting After Divorce: What Kids Need Most 06.08.2025 14min

In this episode, Susan offers compassionate guidance for navigating the emotional complexities of parenting after divorce. Susan explores the importance of emotional presence, not perfection, as the foundation for helping children feel secure during and after separation. Susan encouraging parents to model emotional safety, welcome messy feelings, and repair ruptures in connection. She validates the exhaustion many solo or co-parents feel, offers insights into children's developmental responses to divorce, and reminds listeners that showing up with steady, imperfect love makes a lasting difference. https://pages.susanstiffelman.com/divorce-podcast-episode

3:32 Helping Kids Thrive Through Real Connection 22.07.2025 13min

In this episode, Susan reflects on Derek Thompson's article The Death of Partying in the USA to explore a troubling trend: the steady decline of in-person socializing, especially among young people. Susan highlights the mental health risks this poses—not just for adults, but for children growing up in screen-based, solitary environments. Susan gently encourages families to prioritize connection in an increasingly disconnected world. https://pages.susanstiffelman.com/kids-thrive-connection-podcast