Perfectionism Rewired

White Knuckling & the High Price of Powering Through 22.06.2025 18mnt

White knuckling your way through dumpster fires + stacked deadlines might *seem impressive* but underneath constantly second-guessing yourself, obsessively counting of how much you accomplished while beating yourself up — are hidden costs eating away at your efficiency (and overall ability to enjoy the life you’ve worked so hard to create). This episode names what you couldn’t explain...until now.Resources Mentioned In Episode 255: The Impact & Intention Framework Ep. 171Finding Your Compelling Why’s Ep. 174Asking High Quality Questions Ep. 231Giving Yourself Validation Ep. 237Having Impeccable Boundaries 239Being A Curious Scientist Instead Of The Judge Ep. 208Using Your Mood Meter Ep. 254Understanding Your Person Account Ep. 252Measuring Your Person Account Ep.253Identifying Perfectionist Prediction Loops Ep. 250Popping Up In Perfectionistic Brain Ep. 249Deliberate Disruption The CalibrationTimestamps:00:00–Striving for excellence in a dumpster fire while white knuckling01:59-Definition of perfectionism03:13–Uncomfy confession my overfunctioning04:48–When powering through stops working05:35–Fear uncertainty and doubt in disguise06:40–Second guessing yourself despite the evidence07:17– Are You Making This Huge Perfectionistic Mistake08:31–Why overachievers get to disappointed in myself spirals09:06–Over functioning feeds control issues BEST analogy09:55–Beating yourself up When is enough enough 11:03–How I’m able to stop pushing through before burnout12:05–Why perfectionist tendencies turn poisonous13:45–The Clueless Mismatch Tool 14:20– Choosing what's familiar over what's functional15:03–Disrupt overachiever autopilot with The Calibration16:12–Tools to stop second guessing yourself17:56–Perfectionism Podcast BTSQuotes on Perfectionism:"Most perfectionists conflate measuring with counting. You count how much you got done that day, you look at your to do list, all the check marks you count and you think that is measuring." –Courtney Love Gavin, Expert on Perfectionism Neuroscience"You can't solve a problem when you continue to use methods that perpetuate it. And until you disrupt where those perfectionist tendencies are coming from, your brain will continue choosing what's familiar over what's functional." –Courtney Love Gavin, Expert on Perfectionism NeuroscienceHighly Credible Sources Cited in this Perfectionism Podcast: Anderson, E. C., R. Nicholas Carleton, Diefenbach, M., & Paul. (2019). The Relationship Between Uncertainty and Affect. Frontiers in Psychology, 10. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02504Attwell, D., & Laughlin, S. B. (2001). An Energy Budget for Signaling in the Grey Matter of the Brain. Journal of Cerebral Blood Flow & Metabolism, 21(10), 1133–1145. https://doi.org/10.1097/00004647-200110000-00001Barrett, L. F., & Bar, M. (2009). See it with feeling: affective predictions during object perception. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 364(1521), 1325–1334. https://doi.org/10.1098/rstb.2008.0312Barrett, L. F., & Bliss‐Moreau, E. (2009). Chapter 4 Affect as a Psychological Primitive. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 167–218. https://doi.org/10.1016/s0065-2601(08)00404-8Braem, S., Coenen, E., Klaas Bombeke, Bochove, van, & Wim Notebaert. (2015). Open your eyes for prediction errors. Cognitive Affective & Behavioral Neuroscience, 15(2), 374–380. https://doi.org/10.3758/s13415-014-0333-4Clark, A. (2013). Whatever next? Predictive brains, situated agents, and the future of cognitive science. Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 36(3), 181–204. https://doi.org/10.1017/s0140525x12000477Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). The "what" and "why" of goal pursuits: Human needs and the self-determination of behavior. Psychological Inquiry, 11(4), 227–268. https://doi.org/10.1207/S15327965PLI1104_01Egan, S. J., Piek, J. P., Dyck, M. J., & Rees, C. S. (2007). The role of dichotomous thinking and rigidity in perfectionism. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 45(8), 1813–1822. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2007.02.002Kummer, K., Mattes, A. & Stahl, J. Do perfectionists show negative, repetitive thoughts facing uncertain situations?. Curr Psychol (2023). https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-023-04409-3Mattes, A., Mück, M., & Stahl, J. (2023). Perfectionism-related variations in error processing in a task with increased response selection complexity. Personality neuroscience, 5, e12. https://doi.org/10.1017/pen.2022.3Petersen, J., Ong, C. W., Hancock, A. S., Gillam, R. B., Levin, M. E., & Twohig, M. P. (2021). An Examination of the Relationship Between Perfectionism and Neurological Functioning. Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy, 35(3), 195–211. https://doi.org/10.1891/jcpsy-d-20-00037Pollard-Wright Holly (2020) Interoception the foundation for: mind’s sensing of ‘self,’ physiological responses, cognitive discrimination and dysregulation, Communicative & Integrative Biology, 13:1, 198-213, DOI: 10.1080/19420889.2020.1846922Roy, M., Shohamy, D., Daw, N., Jepma, M., Wimmer, G. E., & Wager, T. D. (2014). Representation of aversive prediction errors in the human periaqueductal gray. Nature Neuroscience, 17(11), 1607–1612. https://doi.org/10.1038/nn.3832Solms, L., Koen, J., A.E.M. van Vianen, Theeboom, T., Beersma, B., Anne, & Matthijs de Hoog. (2022). Simply effective? The differential effects of solution-focused and problem-focused coaching questions in a self-coaching writing exercise. Frontiers in Psychology, 13. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.895439Sugiura, Y., & Fisak, B. (2019). Inflated Responsibility in Worry and Obsessive Thinking. International Journal of Cognitive Therapy, 12(2), 97–108. https://doi.org/10.1007/s41811-019-00041-x‌

How To Feel Your Feelings (So They Stop Controlling You) 07.05.2025 31mnt

What if feeling your feelings didn’t mean falling apart — but actually gave you *more* control, not less? If white knuckling or pushing through is the best way you know how to feel your feelings. You’re not alone. Discover the hidden mistake keeping perfectionists stuck feeling on edge, why you can never outthink your feelings and the right way to feel your feelings. Want to bring rewiring into your reality? Where being confident, certain and playful is just how you roll? Perfectionist Solutions 1-1 coaching is your next step https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Underrated Signals of Allostatic Overload Specific to High-Performers 08.04.2025 16mnt

You’re doing everything right. You’re ambitious, successful + driven. So why is it your energy is nonexistent, patience is razor-thin + your mind can't stop overthinking? If your days are starting with dread and ending in exhaustion — this episode is your wake-up call. Learn why ruminating and indecisiveness are symptoms—not problems to solve, how pushing through dewires your brain into survival mode and 16 surprising signs your brain is starving. On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or accessing your abilities in a way burnt out you could never compete with, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire

The #1 Thing That Stops Perfectionists from Growth 28.03.2025 16mnt

Feel like you're working hard but not seeing the progress you want? It's NOT YOU or your PERFECTIONISM – it's your Person Account™ . Discover my proprietary framework that’s changing the game for Perfectionist Solution’s clients, and will do the same for you. You’ll also learn: how ruminating + running a 10k impact you the exact same way, what Cortisol actually is (it's not STRESS hormone), why perfectionist brains work overtime + cost more to operate, and how to tell if you’re operating in a constant state of depletion without realizing it. On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire

Neuroplasticity 23.03.2025 7mnt

Ever felt like you’re *your own worst enemy*? Find out why, how neuroplasticity works for perfectionists and the fastest way to stop rumination, self-doubt + overanalyzing mistakes. On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire

Can’t Stop Ruminating? Here's Why 14.03.2025 21mnt

"Part of the reason I stay super busy is bc if I stop to rest l'll ruminate. And if I ruminate, I start spiraling. And if I spiraling I'm like a nosediving plane" Sound familiar? Discover the ANSWER to WHY you get stuck in your most annoying perfectionist tendencies, like ruminating, catastrophizing, overthinking every small mistake, etc. Plus the 6 reasons your perfectionist brain holds on to outdated habits, how chronic stress impacts your brain’s ability to change, the role of back and white thinking in reinforcing unhelpful neural pathways, why past experiences trick your brain into seeing danger everywhere and how to stop your worries from becoming self-fulfilling prophecies. . On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or becoming JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire

Perfectionist Tendencies Begin In Your Brain 28.02.2025 17mnt

Constantly overthinking? Still ruminating over that convo with your boss? You're not alone. Uncover how perfectionistic tendencies like being super rigid, people pleasing, over-preparing, excessively worrying — are actually signs your perfectionistic brain is misfiring. Plus, learn the neuroscience-backed solution to take charge of your perfectionist tendencies + start feeling better. On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire

Tired of Feeling Overwhelmed? Start Here 17.02.2025 22mnt

Feeling overwhelmed stressed and anxious? Being vague about your emotions is like saying you're "craving food" for dinner—utterly unhelpful! Your perfectionist brain needs precision to create the right action plan for you. Learn why labeling your emotions accurately is crucial for regulating your body's responses and the essential skillset all perfectionists need to understand their emotions. On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire

The Right Way To Compare Yourself 06.02.2025 23mnt

It’s impossible to stop self-comparison as a perfectionist. You.Are.Going.To.Compare.Yourself and here’s the best way to do it! Discover 6 empowering ways to rewire unhealthy self-comparisons, perfectionism trash trades, how to tell if you’re fear-based striving, live coaching on 4 IRL examples of comparing, the only skillset you need for this to work 100% of the time and a tool to instantly upgrade comparing yourself On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or becoming JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire

How Can I Stop Comparing Myself 30.01.2025 23mnt

Tactical "stop it" approaches to self-comparison DO NOT WORK for perfectionists. Find out WHY along with the hidden costs of comparing yourself, why the approach you’ve taken to stopping self-comparison hasn't worked, what you actually need to do and scientifically what causes perfectionists to have an even harder time than non-perfectionistic people in rewiring this habit. On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or becoming JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire

Comparing Yourself 28.01.2025 22mnt

Comparing yourself all the time? Tired of feeling like you never quite measure up...no matter how much you accomplish? It's not just YOU! Discover the sneaky specific ways self-comparison shows up for perfectionists, the difference between self-awareness + self-coaching, why self-comparison is not your fault but is your responsibility to change. On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or becoming JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire

Overexplaining 27.10.2024 23mnt

Tired of getting tangled in your own words? Overcomplicating it? Asking "Does that make sense?" at the end of every sentence? Discover why you can't stop talking (even though you REALLY want to), the science behind overexplaining for perfectionists, how overexplaining is harmful to your health mentally, emotionally and physically, and why its a coping skill you want to retire ASAP. On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or becoming JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Needing to Be 100% Certain + Uncertainty Avoidance 09.10.2024 8mnt

Craving Certainty? Need to be absolutely 100% sure before making a move? You’re not alone. In this episode, I unravel why the struggle of dealing with uncertainty holds high performance perfectionists back, how to recognize uncertainty avoidance in your own life and tools to take control of the fear, uncertainty and doubt (so it stops controlling you!). Discover practical strategies to break free from the cage of high uncertainty avoidance and gain the confidence to move forward, before every detail is known. Ready to enjoy the life you've worked so hard to create? Waiting for the right time won't get you there. Uncover how to joyfully play in the arena of your life by rewiring your perfectionistic tendencies inside Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching that gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Waiting For the Right Time 07.10.2024 8mnt

Are You Waiting for the Right Time? It’s time to stop waiting for the perfect time. Feeling 100% ready (or whatever ideal set of conditions you’ve been waiting for) is an illusion that keeps you from taking charge of your life right now. Learn how to recognize if you’re giving your power over to ideal circumstances and how to take control. Ready to enjoy the life you've worked so hard to create? Waiting for the right time won't get you there. Uncover how to joyfully play in the arena of your life by rewiring your perfectionistic tendencies inside Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching that gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

How to Get More Confidence (Instead of Waiting For It) 06.10.2024 10mnt

Ever wish you had more confidence? Too many driven perfectionists wait for more confidence before making bold moves, mistaking insecurity for preparation. But waiting is killing your confidence slowly. 'm clearing up all the confusion around getting more confidence so you can stop waiting for it to show up and giving you the exact formula to get more confidence today! Ready to enjoy the life you've worked so hard to create? Waiting for more confidence on the sidelines won't get you there. Uncover how to joyfully play in the arena of your life by rewiring your perfectionistic tendencies inside Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching that gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

What Happens When Perfectionists STOP WAITING FOR More Information 05.10.2024 16mnt

Lifelong learner but not taking bold action? I used to wait for more time, more confidence, more certainty, more information, more money and more support. I’d get MORE of what I was waiting for….and still find excuses to keep waiting. Until one day I quit waiting for more. Find out why perfectionists love to wait for more, how this keeps you stuck and what happens IRL when perfectionists stop waiting for more information. Want to enjoy the life you've worked so hard to create? Waiting for more on the sidelines won't get you there. Uncover how to joyfully play in the arena of your life by rewiring your perfectionistic tendencies inside Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching that gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Impeccable Boundaries - Your Path To Peace + Power 29.09.2024 36mnt

Imagine feeling empowered, calm and grounded. You trust yourself. The incessant judgey voice in your head has been replaced with a witty, encouraging narrator. Your relationships built on truth. You say no to stuff you don’t want to do, without explanation. You take care of yourself FIRST. You've upgraded from exhausted to excited. Want that to be your reality? It starts with Impeccable Boundaries. Listen to learn how to create your own Impeccable Boundaries On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or becoming JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

It's Always Something! 3 Key Areas Perfectionists Must Fix to Stop Overwhelm 23.09.2024 15mnt

Just as you finally get everything under control, life throws you ANOTHER curve ball. Seems like no matter what you do, you never get a moment of peace bc It’s Always Something. Discover exactly how to break down the elusive barriers that perpetually seem to get in the way of perfectionists and equip you with practical tools to let go of the chaos so you can navigate life’s unexpected twists without getting overwhelmed. On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, PRESENCE with your family on vacation or turning down the volume on self-criticism, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Be Proud of Yourself: Training Your Brain to SEE Your Value 10.09.2024 14mnt

Discover why being proud of yourself is a mission critical skill for all perfectionists and how to rewire your brain to see your value. Un-learn the misconceptions currently getting in the way of you being proud of you and how to exit the inadequacy cycle. Thinking I don't have anything to be proud of? I'm giving you 5 reasons that you can be proud of yourself + the tool I use everyday to be proud of myself NO MATTER HAT I have or haven't accomplished. On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, PRESENCE with your family on vacation or turning down the volume on self-criticism, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Confessions of an Approval Seeking Perfectionist: From Insecure to Empowered Oscar Winner 21.08.2024 18mnt

Do compliments make you uncomfy? Tired of constantly achieving and never feeling satisfied? Discover the *real reason* you’re still chasing validation from other people (it has nothing to do with accomplishments or self-esteem) and how to stop relying on external praise + recognition. Perfectionism Optimized client, bravely shares her story of being an Oscar-winning superstar vying for attention, feeling undeserving of praise and constructing her whole life around getting approval (and avoiding rejection). Hear step-by-step how she dropped the fears of not being good enough + being judged by others, let go of needing anyone’s approval and rewired recognition on her own terms. If you want to make sure the Approval Trap never trips you up again, and want proven, science-backed tools to FEEL SO CERTAIN about the value you bring, STAND OUT in your industry and have PRESENCE even during your most stressful moments, you belong inside Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, PRESENCE with your family on vacation or turning down the volume on self-criticism, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

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