The Calm Confidence Podcast: Social Anxiety and Being Yourself

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• The Truth About Social Rejection (And Why You've Got It All Wrong) 05.07.2026 21分

  What if rejection isn't actually rejection? In this episode, we break down why it feels like getting rejected is often just incompatibility that we've learned to take personally. When you wear a mask to avoid disapproval, you're not protecting yourself, you're just working harder to be liked by people who were never going to be your people anyway. We talk about why being authentic feels so risky, what actually happens when someone doesn't like the real you, and why fitting in is never the solution. If you've every shrunk or edited yourself to avoid being rejected, this episode is for you.Related episodes:Why You Can't Make Friends: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5xfQVrwWpaydjdDJXSD6qf?si=qKBWqPqrT8O-BW6ypW82XwHow To Like Yourself:https://open.spotify.com/episode/67AfJBOLvae9n6hENlbiDx?si=GWeNKg5oSuKbcVZwlpR1MQHow To Actually Be Yourself:https://open.spotify.com/episode/7qxdc1vSia5PXnvrnlTasQ?si=hGW6EOsXTRWXbVzivazvawInterested in going deeper into understanding social anxiety and how to start taking your life back? Check out my full 3 hour length social anxiety course here: https://calm-confidence-5785.thinkific.com/products/courses/social-anxiety-courseWant To Work With Me? Check out my services here: https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence
• What To Talk About When You Have No Life 18.06.2026 9分

  One of our biggest fears with social anxiety is that people will find out we have boring lives. We don't go out, don't have many friends and don't do much outside of the house and we worry people will judge us for this. Some might, but we have to accept them. Trying to hide this very really problem only makes us more insecure and self-conscious. Instead, we will learn to shift focu onto others. Get curious about them. Allow our brains to give us things to say, instead of trying to "find it." It's equally important we start building a life of our own so we can have more at our disposal, as well as give us a more fulfilling life. Interested in going deeper into understanding social anxiety and how to start taking your life back? Check out my full 3 hour length social anxiety course here: https://calm-confidence-5785.thinkific.com/products/courses/social-anxiety-courseWant To Work With Me? Check out my services here: https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence
• Stop Trying To Be Cool 08.06.2026 13分

  When we are struggling with social anxiety or confidence we try to project a persona of "cool" on "nonchalant" to the world. The problem is that the very act of doing this indicates we do not feel confident in the first place. Ultimately, no amount of acting cool will actually help us feel more confident or make more connections because this act turns us away from ourselves. We are no longer interested in who we are, but instead who we feel we need to be for others. The other truth is, even if we can pull this off, eventually others will see we are putting on an act. Instead lets figure out what this mask is trying to hide. What are we afraid of expressing? What are we afraid other's may judge? Can we accept these "flaws" about us? Can we show them to the world. That is what it actually means to be cool. Email your episode ideas to: Info@csplcsw.comInterested in working with me?Therapy (NJ/NY Only): https://calmconfidencetherapy.com/Coaching (Anywhere): https://calmconfidencetherapy.com/coachingInterested in the Full Length Social Anxiety Course? (33% Off for Students):https://calm-confidence-5785.thinkific.com/products/courses/social-anxiety-course
• Navigating College With Social Anxiety 02.06.2026 26分

  College is one of the most socially demanding environments you will ever be in; new people, new situations, and almost no time to ease into any of it. In this episode I talk about what it actually looks like to navigate college with social anxiety. What habits to looks out for, breaking social convention and taking as many opportunities as you possibly can.Interested in going deeper into understanding social anxiety and how to start taking your life back? Check out my full 3 hour length social anxiety course here: https://calm-confidence-5785.thinkific.com/products/courses/social-anxiety-course
• The Uncomfortable Truth About Social Anxiety 21.05.2026 17分

  We talk a lot about the fear of being judged. But there's a side of social anxiety that nobody really talks about; the fact that when we're anxious, we often become the most critical person in the room. We judge others for their demeanor, their interests and where we think they stand in our self created hierarchy. We become, without realizing it, exactly the kind of judgmental observer we're so afraid of. In this episode I unpack why this happens and how we can start to become more accepting of ourselves by being more accepting of others first.Course (33% Off with the Code: Student):https://calm-confidence-5785.thinkific.com/products/courses/social-anxiety-course
• Overcoming Fear Of Approach 15.05.2026 29分

  You want to talk to more people, but you're afraid to initiate. This often begins with our expectations. We tend to believe there are certain social "rules" we must follow before approaching, which make taking action twice as hard as it needs to be. In this episode I challenge long held beliefs, accepting possible outcomes, and speaking freely about what is on your mind. Free Mini Workbook: https://calm-confidence-5785.thinkific.com/products/digital_downloads/minibookFull Workbook (Use code Mini for 40% Off): https://calm-confidence-5785.thinkific.com/products/digital_downloads/workbookOther Relevant Episodes:The Practical Way To End Self Consciousness: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6oR1qUWbvrfGICWjrcGPHH?si=3SKZ1cbNR2aJr5vZz3AJZg
• The Regret of Making Progress 10.05.2026 10分

  Sometimes making progress with your social anxiety can be painful. We are reminded of all the time and opportunities we lost for not making progress earlier. This can stop us in our tracks and hinder progress moving forward. In this episode I cover how to deal with this very common yet painful process.🚨 Presale for Social Anxiety Course Open Now — Course Unlocks Monday. Get 25% off before launch using code: calmconfidenceCode valid until Friday, 5/15https://calm-confidence-https://calm-confidence-5785.thinkific.com/products/courses/social-anxiety-course
• Course Update and a Thank You 09.05.2026 1分

  We’ve officially hit 1000 subscribers! What a journey it’s been, thank you for all your support, you motivate me every day to keep this going.Also, quick update, there was an error with the coupon course. Some of you mentioned it wasn’t working. I figured out the issue and it should be working now, here is the course link: https://calm-confidence-5785.thinkific.com/products/courses/social-anxiety-course
• Feeling Exposed: Managing The Insecurities Behind Social Anxiety 08.05.2026 24分

  There is a not so hidden driver of social anxiety, and that is our insecurities. Whether it is the way we look, the way we talk, our current place in life, our physical symptoms... we all have insecurities. For some of us however, they consume our life. We are so afraid of of others judgment that we may hide or modify who we are to feel "secure." The problem is it never works... The more we hide the more afraid we feel. In the episode , I will explore the counter-intuitive approach to overcoming your insecurities. 🚨 Presale for Social Anxiety Course Open Now — Course Unlocks Monday. Get 25% off before launch using code: calmconfidencehttps://calm-confidence-5785.thinkific.com/products/courses/social-anxiety-courseOther Relevant Episodes: The Core Fear Of Social Anxiety: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6xgFxmAYwM0CHbWAn4Q8hU?si=WgaKLpHzQHWsle7c05T8aAThe Practical Way To End Self Consciousness:https://open.spotify.com/episode/6oR1qUWbvrfGICWjrcGPHH?si=3SKZ1cbNR2aJr5vZz3AJZgHow To Like Yourself:https://open.spotify.com/episode/67AfJBOLvae9n6hENlbiDx?si=GWeNKg5oSuKbcVZwlpR1MQ
• How To Stop Overthinking Before Social Events (Anticipatory Anxiety Explained) 27.04.2026 15分

  Do you ever find yourself up all night worrying about a party, date or presentation the next day (or week or month). This is a very common symptoms of social anxiety. In this episode I explore what anticipatory anxiety is, what we tend to do to try to solve it (which often makes it worse) and what we can do instead to finally put an end to this vicious cycle.Disclaimer: This episode and podcast should NOT be considered therapy and is NOT a substitute for therapy. Listening to me does not constitute a therapeutic relationship.Join The Newsletter: ⁠https://subscribepage.io/pknKh0⁠Schedule a FREE Consultation: https://charles-perry4090.clientsecure.me/Other Episode Mentioned: How To Stop Replaying Social Interactionshttps://open.spotify.com/episode/73sQBMvUxNdnycDNG1Ntzv?si=mrfy3hx5TDSv8PCYWPdnFQ
• How To Do Exposure Therapy For Social Anxiety 16.04.2026 20分

  When we have social anxiety it feels like we are doing exposure therapy every day and yet nothing gets better. Still people tell us, "you have to face your fears." But no matter how hard or often you try you still feel anxious. In this episode I explain what exposure therapy is, why it may not be working and how to actually do it so you can truly start to face and overcome your fears. Disclaimer: This episode and podcast should NOT be considered therapy and is NOT a substitute for therapy. Listening to me does not constitute a therapeutic relationship.Join The Newsletter: https://subscribepage.io/pknKh0Schedule a FREE Consultation: https://charles-perry4090.clientsecure.me/Other Relevant Episodes:On Safety Behaviors and Post Processing:"Why Your Social Anxiety Isn’t Getting Better"⁠https://open.spotify.com/episode/7yWXFBjkLAgkZC0b884f5d?si=VyeeRFcoSN-C_PhDxyxEjg⁠On Post Event Processing:How To Stop Replaying Social Situationshttps://open.spotify.com/episode/73sQBMvUxNdnycDNG1Ntzv?si=mrfy3hx5TDSv8PCYWPdnFQOn How To Be More Present In Social Situations: "How To Talk To Strangers"https://open.spotify.com/episode/2y9teRfNBokf9Wnof40Txa?si=Jxqywsd4QE2thk2mRIPCKA"How To End Self Consciousness"https://open.spotify.com/episode/310HMvM2D58SF5G1e4lEpn?si=EOIKWgXoSPWNIR9p196HgA
• How To Actually Be Yourself 07.04.2026 11分

  When you have social anxiety people give you really bad advice, like "Just be Yourself." It sounds good in theory, but what does it actually mean? No one explains it. Also, sometimes we don't even know who we are, so how can we "bo ourselves" if we can't identify with who we are and what we like. In this episode I explain what this actually means and give a practical guide to how to truly be yourself and how to figure out who you are.In this episode I also mention a prior episode where explore a similar topic called "How To Like Yourself." Here is the link to that episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/67AfJBOLvae9n6hENlbiDx?si=GWeNKg5oSuKbcVZwlpR1MQAre you struggling with your social anxiety and looking to make a change? I am currently taking new clients (must live in NY or NJ). Click here to book your FREE 15 minute consultation: https://charles-perry4090.clientsecure.me/You can also check out my website here: https://calmconfidencetherapy.com/
• Why You Can't Make Friends 01.04.2026 18分

  Making friends can be very hard, especially when you get older, and especially when you have social anxiety. In this episode I explore my own experience and struggles making friends and what change made the difference for me. Services: https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence
• Introversion, Shyness or Social Anxiety? 23.03.2026 15分

  Are you introverted, shy or do you have social anxiety disorder? Thes are three terms that often get confused for one another but are actually very different things. I break it down completely in this episode.DISCLAIMER: THIS EPISODE IS MEANT FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. PLEASE DO NOT USE THE INFORMATION IN THIS VIDEO TO SELF DIAGNOSE. DIAGNOSIS ALWAYS REQUIRES A MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL. IF YOU FEEL YOU ARE IN NEED OF HELP, PLEASE FIND A THERAPIST AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.Sources:American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed., text rev.; DSM-5-TR). American Psychiatric Association Publishing.
• How To Actually Not Care What Others Think 11.03.2026 17分

  I apologize for the background noise. It was beautiful out today so I recorded outside on my phone. I spent years trying to figure out how to not care what others think. I read books, argued with myself endlessly, tried to justify, rationalize and reason my way out of my fear… but nothing worked. I remained trapped in my own mental prison. In this video I explain how not caring what others think is not an active process. It’s not something you can “do.” Instead we flip it on its head. We detach from everything we think is necessary. All the fixing, fitting in, changing yourself does nothing but create more self doubt and social anxiety. We need only to “be.” Exist. Let life come to us. Our emotions, thoughts, fears. Embrace them and you will find freedom.Link to podcast and services: https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence?utm_source=linktree_profile_share&ltsid=3ccd9358-ea8c-4a98-ba80-1bf8ddcc5aaf
• Stop Doing This In Public If You Have Social Anxiety 04.03.2026 11分

  There's one thing we all do that is making our social lives worse... our phone. It has become so easy to lean on our phone as a crutch when we feel uncomfortable in public. We avoid basic human interaction and pretend we are doing something more interesting or important. Admitting this is a crutch is the first step. Let's see if we can let ourselves sit in an uncomfortable social situation without relying on our phone for help. Let it feel awkward. Let it feel weird. Ironically this may actually make you more likely to want to speak up and say something. Services and Website: https://linktr.ee/calmconfidenceBook a Free Consult with me: https://charles-perry4090.clientsecure.me/Sources: Craske, M. G., Treanor, M., Conway, C. C., Zbozinek, T., & Vervliet, B. (2014). Maximizing exposure therapy: An inhibitory learning approach. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 58, 10–23. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2014.04.006
• Stop Worrying About Their Feelings 21.02.2026 14分

  When we are socially anxious we become hyper aware of other people's feelings, and we make it our mission to ensure no one is ever upset with us. Reality check: You will upset people no matter how hard you try not to! I'm not saying we should intentionally try to hurt others but we must accept that we are flawed. We will make mistakes and hurt people. If we become too concerned with other's feelings we will always be anxious. In this episode I discuss how to become more self compassionate so you can allow yourself to make more mistakes so you are no longer controlled by your fear of not being perfect.Services and Website: https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence
• How To Talk To Strangers 16.02.2026 15分

  The smallest interactions can consume us with anxiety. I know firsthand how a simple "hello" can turn the nervous system into hyperdrive. We assume the worst of people and the worst of ourselves. The truth is, most people want to talk to you. Most people will be pleasant, and the ones who aren't, aren't for us. In this episode I discuss how you can take a gradual approach to overcoming your fear of approach, and eventually how to turn absolute strangers in to conversation buddies.
• Hating Yourself Into Self Respect Doesn’t Work 12.02.2026 12分

  Self Improvement has become as divided as American Politics. On one end we have people who believe we should accept ourselves no matter what. On the other end, we have people who believe you should essentially verbally abuse yourself into discipline. Neither of these strategies are actually effective. In this video I discuss how you can actually talk to yourself so you can build a healthy inner dialogue that will build confidence and keep you motivated, without hating yourself or thinking you're the best thing since sliced bread. FREE Confidence Manual: https://www.calm-confidence-coaching.com/s/The-Calm-Confidence-Manual-Google-Docs.pdfInterested in joining the virtual speaking lab? https://www.calm-confidence-coaching.com/#speaking-labPodcast, socials and services: https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence
• The Excuses We Make 01.02.2026 10分

  Your social anxiety does not want to get better. It likes to feel safe and comfortable. Who can blame it, it's hard to challenge yourself when you are so overcome by fear. What we don't realize is that our anxiety can be very sneaky. It will subconsciously invent reasons why you shouldn't go out and talk to to people today. "It's too cold," "my car isn't working..." anything to stay inisde and away from people. The first step here is to acknowledge what is going on so we can stop sabotaging ourselves. Interested in joining the virtual speaking lab? https://www.calm-confidence-coaching.com/#speaking-labPodcast, socials and services: https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence