At The Helm with Jessie and Karelin

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  At The Helm: Staying Connected When Everything Falls Apart 10.08.2026 24分

  What happens in a relationship when everything goes wrong at once? In this episode of At The Helm, Jessie and Karelin share the story of a long-awaited vacation that completely fell apart after they encountered a wildfire, road closures, evacuation warnings, no cell service, and an eight-hour day in the car. But the real story isn’t the ruined trip—it’s what happened between them while they were stressed, disappointed, anxious, and trying to figure out what to do next. They explore the difference between trying to fix a problem and first taking care of the relationship, including how emotional validation can help partners stay connected during stressful moments. Karelin shares how people-pleasing, guilt, anxiety, and protective “parts” began showing up, while Jessie talks about his instinct to move quickly into practical problem-solving—and how that approach has changed over the years. Together, they discuss: • Why problem-solving isn’t always what your partner needs first• Emotional validation vs. trying to make difficult feelings disappear• People-pleasing and guilt in relationships• How nervous system activation can affect communication• Recognizing the protective parts that show up during conflict• The difference between supporting your partner and taking responsibility for their emotions• How couples can repair and reconnect when plans fall apart• Why two things can be true—you can be grateful and disappointed at the same time This is a warm, honest conversation about relationships, neurodivergence, communication, self-compassion, and learning how to stay on the same team when life doesn’t go according to plan. If you’ve ever had a stressful situation turn into an argument with your partner—or wondered how to support someone you love without immediately trying to fix everything—this episode is for you. At The Helm with Jessie and Karelin explores relationships, neurodivergence, emotional health, self-compassion, communication, and the real-life moments that help us learn how to navigate life together.
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  At The Helm: How to Communicate Your Needs in a Relationship 26.07.2026 20分

  Most relationship conflict isn’t caused by a lack of love. Sometimes, it comes from expectations that were never actually communicated. In this episode of At The Helm, Jessie and Karelin explore the idea of creating intentional “social contracts” in relationships. Inspired by Sheldon Cooper’s famous roommate agreement on The Big Bang Theory, they discuss how clear, collaborative agreements can help couples, families, friends, and coworkers reduce confusion, anxiety, resentment, and repeated conflict. Unlike Sheldon’s rigid rulebook, a healthy social contract isn’t about controlling another person. It is an open conversation about what each person needs, what they expect, what they can realistically offer, and where compromise may be possible. Jessie and Karelin share examples from their own marriage, including how different expectations around concerts, crowds, leaving the house on time, and shared responsibilities created unnecessary frustration. Once they stopped assuming the other person should simply know what they wanted, they were able to create agreements that made their experiences more enjoyable and predictable for both of them. They also explore why unspoken expectations can be especially difficult in neurodivergent relationships. ADHD, autism, anxiety, rejection sensitivity, relational trauma, people pleasing, and codependent coping patterns can all increase the urge to predict what another person wants or to avoid expressing personal needs altogether. In this conversation, you’ll learn: • What a social contract is and how it can support healthier relationships• Why expecting people to read our minds often leads to resentment• How neurodivergent brains may experience uncertainty in relationships• The difference between a request, an agreement, and a demand• How people pleasing and codependency can become unspoken relationship contracts• Why your needs and capacity may change over time• How to identify recurring friction points in your relationships• How to begin communicating vulnerable needs in smaller, safer ways• Why clear expectations give your partner a better opportunity to support you• How humor, flexibility, negotiation, and accountability strengthen agreements Social contracts can be used for everyday situations such as household chores, schedules, social events, parenting, work responsibilities, emotional support, intimacy, and personal boundaries. They do not need to be formal or written down. The goal is simply to make the invisible expectations in a relationship more visible. You might begin by asking yourself: Where does the same conflict repeatedly show up in my relationships? What am I hoping the other person will understand without being told? What need, expectation, or boundary have I been afraid to express? What agreement might help this situation feel clearer and safer for everyone involved? Healthy communication doesn’t mean that every request will be met exactly as it was presented. It means that both people have the opportunity to speak honestly, listen thoughtfully, negotiate fairly, and decide what they can genuinely agree to. When we clearly communicate what we need, we stop handing the people we love an invisible test they never knew they were taking. At The Helm is a conversation with therapist Karelin Wadkins and educator Jessie Wadkins about neurodivergence, relationships, anxiety, emotional regulation, and learning to approach life with greater insight and self-compassion. #Relationships #Communication #NeurodivergentRelationships #ADHDRelationships #CouplesCommunication #PeoplePleasing #RelationshipAdvice #MarriageCommunication #Boundaries #AtTheHelm
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  At The Helm: Why Some People Leave You Feeling Drained 12.07.2026 23分

  Have you ever spent time with someone and walked away feeling completely exhausted? Or wondered why certain conversations leave you energized while others seem to drain every ounce of your emotional battery? In this episode of At The Helm, we explore the hidden ways our nervous systems exchange energy through a process called co-regulation. Drawing from psychology, nervous system science, and our own experiences as a therapist and educator, we discuss why some interactions feel nourishing while others leave us emotionally depleted. You'll learn: What co-regulation is and why it matters Why your nervous system may feel exhausted after social interactions The difference between physical energy and emotional energy Why therapists, teachers, healthcare workers, parents, caregivers, and highly sensitive people are especially vulnerable to burnout How ADHD, autism, OCD, and other forms of neurodivergence can increase nervous system demands Why asking "What's my nervous system trying to tell me?" is often more helpful than asking "What's wrong with me?" Practical ways to protect your energy without guilt or shame We also share personal stories about relationships, teaching, therapy, travel, and everyday life to illustrate how our energy is constantly influenced by the people around us. Rather than labeling others as "energy vampires," we explore how every relationship involves giving, receiving, and sharing energy—and how greater awareness can help us set healthier boundaries while remaining compassionate. Whether you're feeling emotionally drained, experiencing burnout, navigating neurodivergence, or simply wanting to better understand yourself and your relationships, this conversation offers practical insights grounded in self-compassion and curiosity. If this episode resonates with you, please like, subscribe, and share it with someone who could use a reminder that protecting your energy isn't selfish—it's an important part of caring for your nervous system.   #nervoussystem #coregulation #mentalhealth #selfcompassion #burnout #emotionalwellbeing #boundaries #highlysensitiveperson #ADHD #autism #OCD #neurodivergent #IFS #mindfulness #psychology
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  At The Helm: When the Roles Begin to Reverse, Caring for Aging Parents 15.06.2026 19分

  As our parents age, many of us find ourselves navigating an unexpected transition: the people who once cared for us begin needing care from us. In this episode of At The Helm, therapist Karelin Wadkins and educator/coach Jessie Wadkins reflect on a recent family visit that challenged our assumptions about independence, responsibility, and what it means to support the people we love. Together, we explore the emotional reality of the sandwich generation—balancing the needs of aging parents, our own families, and ourselves. We talk about the grief that can accompany role reversal, the stories we tell ourselves when expectations aren't met, and the importance of shifting from judgment to curiosity. Through the lenses of self-compassion, nervous system awareness, and healthy boundaries, we discuss how to care deeply for others without losing ourselves in the process. If you've ever struggled with aging parents, caregiving, family expectations, or the complicated emotions that come with watching the people you love grow older, this conversation is for you.
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  At The Helm: Why Your Partner's Mood Isn't Your Responsibility 08.06.2026 21分

  What happens when your partner wakes up in a bad mood—and your anxiety immediately wants to fix it? In this episode of At The Helm, therapist Karelin and educator/coach Jessie share a real-life example of how codependency, anxiety, emotional triggers, and protective parts can quietly take over a relationship. What started as an ordinary Saturday morning quickly became an opportunity to examine a familiar pattern: one partner feeling responsible for the other's emotional state. Through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS), self-awareness, nervous system regulation, and healthy relationship boundaries, we explore how learning to recognize these patterns can dramatically change the way couples communicate and connect. In this episode, we discuss: • Codependency and emotional responsibility• Why we try to fix the people we love• Relationship anxiety and hypervigilance• Cognitive distortions and "thinking traps"• Internal Family Systems (IFS) and parts work• Emotional regulation and self-awareness• Boundaries in healthy relationships• How childhood experiences shape adult relationships• The stories we tell ourselves when we're triggered• Learning to identify who is really "at the helm" Whether you're working through codependency, navigating relationship challenges, healing old attachment wounds, or learning to respond differently to anxiety and emotional triggers, this conversation offers practical insights and compassionate reflection. 🎙️ ABOUT AT THE HELM At The Helm is a podcast hosted by therapist Karelin Wadkins and educator/coach Jessie Wadkins. Together, we explore relationships, personal growth, anxiety, self-compassion, neurodivergence, nervous system awareness, parenting, emotional well-being, and what it means to navigate life with intention and authenticity. Through honest conversations, personal stories, and practical tools, we examine how to stay connected to ourselves and each other—even when fear, anxiety, codependency, or protective parts try to take the wheel. 🔔 Subscribe for weekly conversations about:• Relationships and communication• Codependency recovery• Anxiety and emotional regulation• Internal Family Systems (IFS)• Self-compassion and mindfulness• Neurodivergence• Personal growth and healing• Parenting and family life #Codependency #Relationships #RelationshipAdvice #Anxiety #IFS #InternalFamilySystems #SelfAwareness #EmotionalRegulation #PersonalGrowth #Boundaries #MentalHealth #SelfCompassion #CommunicationSkills #Neurodivergence #AtTheHelmPodcast
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  At the Helm: When Anxiety Wants the Wheel 31.05.2026 20分

  In the very first episode of At the Helm, we're diving into a recent experience that perfectly illustrates what this podcast is all about. What happens when anxiety shows up before a big trip? What happens when plans start going sideways, stress levels rise, and old patterns threaten to take over? As we prepared to travel to Austin for our daughter's graduation, we found ourselves facing a series of unexpected challenges before we even made it to the airport. Historically, travel has been one of those situations where anxiety, overwhelm, frustration, and conflict can surface quickly. This time, however, something was different. In this conversation, we explore how increased awareness of our nervous systems, a better understanding of the protective parts of ourselves, and intentional co-regulation helped us navigate a stressful situation without repeating some of the mistakes and meltdowns of the past. Along the way, we discuss:• Anxiety and anticipatory stress• Parts work and self-awareness• Co-regulation in relationships• Nervous system regulation during challenging moments• How old patterns can show up under pressure• The difference between reacting and responding• Why compassion is often more effective than control At the Helm is a podcast hosted by Karelin, a therapist, and Jessie, a teacher and coach. Together, as two neurodivergent humans navigating life's challenges, we explore what it means to live with greater awareness, self-compassion, and connection. Whether you struggle with anxiety, find travel stressful, or simply want to better understand how emotions show up in everyday life, we hope this conversation helps you feel a little less alone and a little more equipped to stay at the helm when life gets rough. Helping you notice what's at the helm—so you can meet life with more awareness, compassion, and choice.