The Examined Lives (ENM Vibes)

The Examined Lives (ENM Vibes)

Lauren Hayes
Šalis Jungtinės Valstijos
Kalba EN-US
Epizodų 24
Naujausias 29.07.2026

The Examined Lives (ENM Vibes) is a podcast about modern love, ethical non-monogamy, and how these relationship styles are portrayed in mainstream media. It began as a deep dive into the drama of the reality show The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives before evolving into a broader look at non-monogamy in pop culture. Hosts Lauren, an ENM relationship coach and swinger, and Ben, an ex-LDS polyamorist, share their own experiences while dissecting TV shows and media narratives. Together they offer candid, often funny conversation meant to make listeners rethink what love and relationships can look like.

Epizodai

  • Talking About The Invite (And We Can't Stop) 29.07.2026 43min
    Send us Fan Mail We reviewed The Invite! It has everyone talking, including us. I don't usually give this away in the description, but I loved this movie so much I want everyone to know... and to go see it themselves. Listen as Ben and I break down the movie's most defining moments and relate them to our own lifestyle and relationship experiences. This one is so much fun! (And apologies to Seth Rogen for what I said... I really wouldn't mind seeing him naked.) STD Hero: or use coupon code La...
  • Down to Feel Good St. Louis 07.07.2026 38min
    Send us Fan Mail Lauren and Ben return with a deep dive into HBO Max's DTF St. Louis - a weatherman, a case of peyronies, and a friendship intimate enough to be its own subplot. Is it a show about ethical non-monogamy? Not exactly. Infidelity is doing a lot of the heavy lifting here, but is it sex positive? Weirdly, mostly yes. Lauren and Ben work through where the line is between "ethical for me" and "not my responsibility to police," why validation and self-esteem get so tangled up in sex a...
  • She’s Gotta Have It — and So Do We 10.11.2025 37min
    Send us Fan Mail Ben and Lauren kick off this week’s episode with a few spicy tales from her latest swinger shenanigans at a lifestyle resort- because why ease in when you can dive right in? It’s late October, which means it’s officially Swinger Christmas (aka Halloween), so the party-talk begins. From there, they turn their attention to She’s Gotta Have It (2017), the bold, unapologetic series about Nola Darling - a free-spirited Black artist navigating love, sex, and identity as she dates t...
  • Splitsville: Comedy Win, ENM Fail 22.09.2025 23min
    Send us Fan Mail Lauren and Ben dive into Splitsville—the gloriously unhinged new movie where a handjob-fueled car crash leads to divorce, an “open marriage circus,” and a bro-fight so long it could’ve had intermission popcorn. Lauren actually saw the whole film (so you don’t necessarily have to), while Ben only managed the trailer—though that doesn’t stop him from handing out hot takes and wishing for raunchier American comedies. Along the way, we get weekend updates: cozy threesomes, Billy ...
  • Trigonometry & the Awkward Art of Adding a Third 12.09.2025 29min
    Send us Fan Mail Lauren and Ben kick off with Ben's hilariously mundane life updates - school stress and parties - while Lauren reveals about her French nudist swinger village jaunt, where badges are mandatory but clothing is not. This episode covers everything from unicorn cakes to awkward throuple jealousy. They dissect "Trigonometry," a slow-burn British gem where a couple accidentally throuples with their Olympic swimmer lodger, complete with vulva slip-ups, drag bar unicorn roasts,...
  • Season 2 Trailer: The Examined Lives (ENM Vibes) has Evolved (as everyone should) 08.09.2025 1min
    Send us Fan Mail We started out as a reaction podcast to The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives because we haaaate it when our community is represented by those who know nothing about our community. Well, we were fooled by the click-bait, and it had little to do with our community. Ben and I pivoted and now we review shows with ENM themes. We review them and discuss how ENM is portrayed...and if the show is any good. We are a couple of friends - he's poly, I'm a swinger - and we love our comm...
  • Dying for Sex (and Lasagna) 04.08.2025 29min
    Send us Fan Mail One host just got back from a 2500-couple sex convention. The other is sleepy by 11 PM. Let the games begin. Lauren and Ben tackle the profound TV show Dying for Sex. But not before they workshop the best story for a sprained finger. The whole thing descends into anarchy when Lauren realizes she missed the episode with all the kink, leaving Ben to explain dom/sub dynamics, dick-kicking, and the vital importance of bringing lasagna to a sex-party. STD Hero: or use coupo...
  • Compersion Season 2: ENM & The How Not To 07.07.2025 30min
    Send us Fan Mail Fresh from the dusty desert plains of a Burning Man-esque festival, a sleepy Lauren and Ben kick things off with tales of naked bike rides, spanking vs. stomach-raspberries (you'll have to listen to find out who chose what), and a goddess statue with vape-juice teats. Then, they dive into the final season of "Compersion," a show with a plot so bonkers it leaves Ben speechless: a wife inviting her husband's affair partner over for lasagna to… get them back together?! Tune in f...
  • Compersion Season 1: A (kinda) Cautionary Tale 02.06.2025 27min
    Send us Fan Mail Lauren kicks things off by humbling Ben’s enthusiasm—turns out she’s not soooo good, just “regular good.” From there, they dive into a lively pre-show chat that includes music festival misadventures and an unfiltered look at Lauren’s “Sacred Sluts” project. Then it's time for a no-holds-barred breakdown of Compersion Season 1: morning-after mishaps, questionable partner choices (maybe don’t date the kid’s teacher?), and the ever-controversial one-penis policy. There’s laughte...
  • A Love Story: A Professor, a Triad and a Super Hero 05.05.2025 25min
    Send us Fan Mail Lauren and Ben trip over pleasantries straight into naked hot tubs, Tropicana slander, and the dread of floppy poolside antics. On this episode they dissect a movie about a polyamorous relationship (in the 20's!) and Wonder Woman's kinky origins. Professor Marston and the Wonder Women gets a solid review, along with plenty of made-up speculation. There are tangents on power dynamics and why Ben shouldn't date Sabrina Carpenter. As usual, it makes zero sense and perfect sense!...
  • Wanderlust, Winding Through ENM, & Wasted Ski Days 01.04.2025 33min
    Send us Fan Mail Lauren’s fresh off a very successful swingers’ trip (tan lines included!), while Ben’s still mourning a flat tire that ruined his ski plans. Ouch! They dissect Netflix’s Wanderlust, calling out TV’s obsession with simultaneous orgasms and the awkwardness of meeting your partner's other partners. The conversation takes a heartfelt turn as they discuss the complexities of telling kids about polyamory, with Lauren and Ben sharing their personal experiences and the unexpected re...
  • Wanderlust is Not a Bust 07.03.2025 30min
    Send us Fan Mail Tune into "Examined Lives " where Lauren, the Swinging Lifestyle Coach, and her friend Ben dissect Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) in pop culture. This week, they discuss BBC's (now seen on Netflix) "Wanderlust", where a couple messily cheats their way into non-monogamy. They debate infidelity-as-a-gateway to non-monogamy, the perils of office masturbation (in a disabled toilet?), and whether train sex beats plane sex (it does). Lauren defends Utah's surprisingly secretive ENM sce...
  • Couple to Throuple Again and Part II 03.02.2025 33min
    Send us Fan Mail Lauren and Ben are back with their review and commentary on the rest of the Peacock series, Couple to Throuple. They'll break down the pairings, the swaps, and everything in between. Expect some drama, some laughs, maybe even a few tears—and of course, they’ll share their favorite contestants. Plus, stick around till the end for a fresh and funny take on the term compersion! STD Hero: or use coupon code Lauren10 at checkout. Retreats: https://www.swingi...
  • Three's Company: Love, Drama, and Boundaries on Couple to Throuple 01.01.2025 29min
    Send us Fan Mail If you’ve ever wondered what happens when The Bachelor meets ethical non-monogamy (ENM), here it is. Lauren and Ben dive into Couple to Throuple, the Peacock reality show that’s equal parts fascinating, cringe, and surprisingly educational. Spoiler: It’s not just about threesomes—it’s about feelings, boundaries, and the emotional ride of adding a third to your relationship. STD Hero: or use coupon code Lauren10 at checkout. Retreats: https://www.swinginglifestylecoach...
  • Easy Does It: Open Marriage Gets Real on the Small Screen 26.11.2024 30min
    Send us Fan Mail Lauren and Ben are back with a fresh take on their podcast! Say goodbye to Mormon wife drama and hello to a spicier exploration of non-monogamy in mainstream media. In this episode, they dive into Netflix's "Easy," following the adventures (and misadventures) of Andy and Kyle - a power couple testing the waters of open marriage. Our hosts break down the show's portrayal of non-monogamy with wit and wisdom. They share their expert insights on everything from the "...
  • Topless Tastings & The ‘Book of Rumors’ Season Send-Off 01.11.2024 28min
    Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Ben shares his experience at a body-positive, topless whiskey-tasting party, and Lauren recounts a comedy competition where swinging humor sparked mixed reactions—and some unexpected misunderstandings. With Halloween, aka “Swingers’ Christmas,” approaching, Lauren and Ben discuss their costume collections and themed parties. They recap The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives finale, covering Whitney’s departure from #MomTok, Jen and Zach’s uncertain future, and Tayl...
  • We are Not in Utah Anymore 28.10.2024 25min
    Send us Fan Mail Listen in as Lauren and Ben talk about episode 7 of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, which all takes place in Sin City. The women are getting along better than ever (sans Whitney) but now the husband and boyfriend cause most of the drama. Sexy male strippers & gambling are the backdrop, and we’ll discuss oily bodies, toxic monogamy & relationship and also the question of what it looks like to truly support a friend (sometimes it’s not pretty). STD Hero: or use coupo...
  • Peach on the Beach and Cream Colored Jeans (E6) 18.10.2024 28min
    Send us Fan Mail In this spicy episode Lauren and Ben discuss labiaplasty, why no one does paintings of balls and whether rubbing oil on a Chippendale's chest will keep you out of (Mormon) heaven. Speaking of heaven, Ben describes the Mormon afterlife and spoiler alert: the most obedient people still might get to have sex. STD Hero: or use coupon code Lauren10 at checkout. Retreats: https://www.swinginglifestylecoach.com/inperson-retreats Get my book: For Better or Even Better: 7 Lesso...
  • Book of Broken Friendships 10.10.2024 36min
    Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Lauren and Ben discuss friendship, ENM, stress, conflict and soda shops. While this episode focuses on the fracturing of the #MomTok gang, we discuss vulnerability and a different way to look at their conflict . We'll also discuss some Words of Wisdom in ENM / The Lifestyle as well as more on the LDS church. As always, join them for fun, silliness and a bit of education. STD Hero: or use coupon code Lauren10 at checkout. Retreats: https://www.swingingl...
  • Garments, Drama, and Oh Boy, the Truth Box! (E4) 03.10.2024 27min
    Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Lauren and Ben discuss Episode 4 of 'The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives', sharing their personal updates before diving into THE key event, the “sh*t show” of the birthday celebration weekend. Ben educates us on the history and current use of Mormon garments, inspired by their favorite quote “Can we Door Dash garments?” The Truth Box serves its purpose at the party and certainly shakes things up within their friendships. Ben and I discuss it all, including their...

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