WTF is on my Mind?!

Epizodes

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  "My Jaw Was on the Floor": Dr. Jamie Zuckerman on the Narcissist's Playbook Film 12.07.2026 58min

  Dr. Jamie Zuckerman and I sat down to talk about our film, Narcissist's Playbook. https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/ Dr. Zuckerman is a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in narcissistic abuse, and she's seen the film. In this conversation, we get into why my team and I spent five years making it, my own experience in NXIVM, and how it shaped this project, and why we brought self-aware narcissists into the film alongside survivors and clinicians. Dr. Zuckerman brings the clinical s...
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  Inst@Guru: Bentinho Massaro Ep 12 - The Toxic Text Messages Part 3 28.06.2026 1h

  This is episode 12 of Inst@Guru: Bentinho Massaro, an ongoing deep dive investigation into the world of Dutch spiritual influencer Bentinho Massaro and the people inside it. Gaby Petris Youtube https://www.youtube.com/@UCvHpiQAiTKxoodufKO5_Viw The text messages continue. This episode is mostly Jade Alectra’s, and what you're going to see is her mind and her instincts getting dismantled in real time. The sequence involving pillows alone is a masterclass in how intermittent reinforcement work...
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  Inst@Guru: Bentinho Massaro Ep 11 - Silvana 21.06.2026 1h 11min

  Silvana was working at Gaia, deep in a healing process, surrounded by a spiritual community, when she was introduced to Bentinho Massaro through what looked like an ordinary birthday dinner. Within days, there was a yoga class, tacos, a hot tub, truth or dare, and a text message she describes as the most manipulative thing she has ever read in her life. She didn't fall for it. But in this episode, she explains exactly how close she came, and why. Silvana's story is different from the ones yo...
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  Inst@Guru: Bentinho Massaro Ep 10 - The Toxic Text Messages Part 2 14.06.2026 1h 2min

  This is episode 10 of Inst@Guru: Bentinho Massaro, an ongoing deep dive investigation into the world of Dutch spiritual influencer Bentinho Massaro and the people inside it. The damning text messages continue. This episode is Keilan McNeil's. He reads through two text threads that show a side of Bentinho Massaro that his followers rarely, if ever, see. The first is a group chat in which Bentinho systematically dismantles his then-girlfriend Alison in front of the inner circle, including tel...
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  Inst@Guru: Bentinho Massaro Ep 9 - The Text Messages Part 1 07.06.2026 1h 27min

  For the next few episodes, our three defectors, Jacqueline Graham, Keilan McNeil, and Jade Alectra, are going to read out their private text messages with Bentinho and the group. What you're going to see is the side of him that his community never sees, the version that exists behind closed doors. This episode belongs mostly to Jacqueline. She reads through a cascade of messages sent to her at an airport, after she told him one simple thing: that she was afraid of him. What follows is a prol...
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  Evan Rachel Wood: A Wolf in Wolf's Clothing 31.05.2026 1h 22min

  Evan Rachel Wood has been through it. The abuse. The smear campaigns. The legal battles. The silencing. And she came out the other side still talking. We sat down shortly after she watched the latest cut of Narcissist's Playbook, my documentary film that she is featured in, and we didn't hold back. www.narcissistsplaybook.com The conversation covers how narcissistic abuse actually works at a mechanical level: love bombing, grooming, isolation, gaslighting, and why it doesn't just happen to ...
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  Inst@Guru: Bentinho Massaro Ep 8 - Aaron Abke "Behind the Mask" 24.05.2026 1h 43min

  One of the recurring defenses from people still inside Bentinho Massaro's circle is that the people who have spoken out, Jacqueline, Keilan, and Jade, simply didn't understand the Law of One teachings. That they weren't advanced enough. That if they had truly grasped what was being offered, they would have seen things differently. So we spoke to someone who knows the teachings well. Aaron Abke grew up as a pastor's son, earned a degree in Music and Theology, spent a year as a full-time wors...
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  Inst@Guru: Bentinho Massaro Ep 7 - Jade Part 2 “Leave Your Body” 10.05.2026 1h 8min

  We pick up where we left off in Part 1. A kitchen in Ecuador. Two women looking at each other across an island with empty eyes. What follows is five months of Jade Alectra's life across four countries: Panama, Mexico, Costa Rica, the Yucatan - and through experiences that are among the most disturbing in this entire series. In Part Two, Jade describes the second r*pe, a meditation played loud, a voice telling her to leave her body, and the moment she felt she had achieved something when it...
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  Inst@Guru: Bentinho Massaro Ep 6 - Jade Part 1 "Empty Eyes" 03.05.2026 1h 22min

  Jade Alectra was a D1 athlete, a yoga teacher with 75,000 followers, a feature in Oprah Magazine, and a meditation practice she had built from scratch. None of that protected her. In this episode, Jade begins the story of how she was recruited into Bentinho Massaro's inner circle - not through his teachings, but through the women around him. What follows is one of the most detailed accounts of pre-grooming, love-bombing, and psychological manipulation in this entire series. It is also the da...
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  Inst@Guru: Bentinho Massaro Ep 5 - Keilan Part 2 "Closer to God" 26.04.2026 1h 12min

  This is part of my ongoing deep-dive investigation into the world of Bentinho Massaro - a Dutch spiritual influencer with millions of followers and a story that goes far beyond what's visible on his carefully curated social media. I've been documenting this for over four years. This is Keilan Part Two. In Part One, we watched Keilan McNeil get pulled in. In Part Two, we go inside the machine. This episode covers what life actually looks like inside a high-control group once the honeymoon is...
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  Inst@Guru: Bentinho Massaro Ep 4 - Ivo van Woerden "The Journalist" 19.04.2026 1h 17min

  A note before you listen: this episode was recorded before I left for the Netherlands. I just spent seven days there shooting with the Three Amigos, Jacqueline Graham, Keilan McNeil, Jade Alectra and Ivo van Woerden, along with a number of other people who are essential to telling this story. A lot is coming. But first, this. Ivo van Woerden is a Dutch journalist who has spent the better part of five years investigating Bentinho Massaro. He interviewed over 60 people. He was publicly called...
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  Inst@Guru: Bentinho Massaro Ep 3 - Keilan Part 1 "The Mission" 12.04.2026 1h 6min

  For over four years I've been documenting the world of Bentinho Massaro - a Dutch spiritual influencer with millions of followers and a very dark story behind the public image. This is my deep dive investigation. We've heard from Jacqueline Graham in Episodes 1 and 2. Now it's time to hear from Keilan McNeil. Keilan's entry point into Bentinho's world is completely different from Jacqueline's. He wasn't a spiritual seeker. He was a twenty-two year old film school dropout, isolated, angry at ...
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  Inst@Guru: Bentinho Massaro Ep 2 - Jacqueline Part 2 "All In" 05.04.2026 49min

  In Part One, we met Jacqueline Graham, a Canadian mother of three, a lifelong spiritual seeker, and the woman who would become Bentinho Massaro's girlfriend. We watched her get drawn in: the love bombing, the pedestaling, the first cruelties, the money handed over in Panama. This episode is about what happened after she decided to go all in. "All In" covers the full arc of Jacqueline's time inside: the financial coercion, the manipulation tactics, a letter she was asked to sign at a monaster...
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  Inst@Guru: Bentinho Massaro Ep 1 - Jacqueline Part 1 'The Seeker' 29.03.2026 57min

  I've seen this before. Not something like this. Not a similar version of this. This. The same playbook. The same psychological architecture. Just a different face. For the video version of this podcast, head over to Youtube. My name is Mark Vicente. I'm a filmmaker and a former member of NXIVM, the cult run by Keith Raniere, who is currently serving 120 years in federal prison. I was one of the whistleblowers who helped bring that organization down. That experience was chronicled in The Vow ...
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  Corey Feldman's Angels...in HELL - Part 2 15.03.2026 45min

  THIS IS PART 2. In Part 1, I sat down with Margot Lane and Mara Moon - two former bandmates of Corey Feldman's Corey's Angels - to hear how they were drawn in: the love bombing, the false promises, the body shaming, and the slow erosion of their boundaries. If you haven't seen Part 1 yet, go there first. Part 2 is where things escalate. On tour, the abuse ramps up: sleep deprivation, no bed, drug use, coerced sexual situations, and a moment of witnessing another woman being abused that...
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  Corey Feldman's Angels... in HELL - Part 1 08.03.2026 38min

  In this first part of a two-part episode, I sit down with Margot Lane and Mara Moon; two former bandmates of Corey Feldman who were part of his group, 'Corey's Angels'. Both women were subjects of the documentary film Corey Feldman vs. The World, directed by Marcie Hume, whom I interviewed in a previous episode. Margot and Mara share how they were each drawn into Feldman's world, lured by promises of a music career, financial stability, and a fresh start, and what they found once they ...
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  What the Hell Is Going On?! (And What Do We Do Next) w/ Africa Brooke & Mark Vicente 01.03.2026 1h 44min

  Africa Brooke and I did an Instagram Live right after the Epstein files dropped, and we didn't hold back. Africa is one of my closest friends, one of the most honest thinkers I know, and someone who has never been afraid to ask the questions most people would rather avoid. We talked about evil... why good people struggle to recognize it, why they keep making excuses for it, and what it costs us when we do. We talked about the psychology of narcissists and psychopaths, why they need us more t...
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  Adrenaline, Predators & Documentaries w/ @thatdocumentarygirl 15.02.2026 1h 1min

  She watches up to fourteen documentaries a week! Not for school. Not for work. Because she’s obsessed. In this episode of WTF Is On My Mind?, I sit down with Christie Boschman, known online as That Documentary Girl. Her platform has grown to over 4.5 million followers because she does one thing exceptionally well. She talks about documentaries with real passion. But this is not just a conversation about movies. We get into why audiences are drawn to dark stories, the psychology behind cult...
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  Is Free Speech Evil? w/ Dr. Chloe Carmichael 08.02.2026 1h 6min

  If you’re deeply committed to ideological purity or easily offended by nuance, this episode may be uncomfortable. And honestly, that might be the point. But if you’re a freethinker; someone who values truth over trend and curiosity over conformity, you’re going to have a great time. Dr. Chloe Carmichael is a clinical psychologist and the bestselling author of Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety. Her new book, “Can I Say That? Why Free Speech Matters and How to Use It Fearlessly...
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  When Reality Breaks: Reclaiming Yourself After Psychological Abuse w/ Dr. Jaime Zuckerman 01.02.2026 1h 11min

  Psychological abuse, narcissistic abuse, and gaslighting can completely distort your sense of reality and self-trust. In this episode, I talk with Dr. Jaime Zuckerman about what survivors actually experience after emotional and psychological abuse—and how they begin to heal. https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/ We focus on reclaiming identity, rebuilding trust, and why “just get over it” is one of the most damaging things you can say to survivors. This is my second conversation with Dr. Z. In...