The Good Sex Project

Epizodes

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  Phone A Friend 04.08.2026 1h 3min

  We're wrapping up Season 3 by checking back in with some of the people who've stayed with us longest. Porte, the radio announcer who lost his legs in a train accident in his twenties and was last heard from in his seventies, deep in a spicy love triangle. Chloe, who had a running list of "fuckeries" on her phone - a catalogue of truly terrible sexual encounters that had her convinced she might be asexual. Simon, in his mid-sixties, grappling with the fact that he wasn’t his boyfriend’s sexual ‘type’. And Harper, finding her feet again - and her boundaries - after leaving a relationship that had taken a lot from her. A lot can change in a season. We find out what has. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  Naked Honesty 28.07.2026 47min

  Shame thrives in silence, and nowhere more than in the territory of sex and sexuality. This final episode makes the case for why talking about the taboo isn't just cathartic but quietly radical: a way of dissolving isolation, dismantling shame, and discovering you were never as alone as you thought. We reflect on what happens when people finally say the thing out loud: in therapy, to a friend, on a podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  Dr Peggy Kleinplatz - What Makes Sex Magnificent 23.07.2026 55min

  Twenty years ago, Dr. Peggy Kleinplatz had a seven-and-a-half-month waiting list of couples stuck in the same story: one partner wants sex, the other doesn't, and both feel broken. So she stopped studying what goes wrong and started studying what goes right - interviewing people having the best sex of their lives to find out what it's actually made of.The answer breaks down into eight components, and technique isn't one of them. In this bonus episode, Dr. Kleinplatz - Professor at the University of Ottawa and co-author of Magnificent Sex - talks with Melody about why "natural and spontaneous" is a myth, and why the couples who never fight might be the ones most at risk. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  The Real Sealed Section 21.07.2026 42min

  What separates good sex from sex that’s genuinely transformative? This episode starts with a challenge: one couple's New Year’s resolution to pursue 365 orgasms (for her) in a year, and what that commitment unlocked for them about pleasure, communication, and each other. Then we go deeper with Dr. Peggy Kleinplatz, whose landmark research into "magnificent sex" found that the best lovers aren't who you'd expect - and that what makes sex extraordinary has almost nothing to do with technique. An episode about what we're actually reaching for when we reach for more. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  Letting Go of the Fairytale: Brynley Stent on Singles Club Season 2 19.07.2026 41min

  Comedian and actress Brynley Stent (Shortland Street, Taskmaster, 7 Days) joins Melody Thomas for a candid, funny chat about love, singledom, and why finding "the one" doesn't magically fix everything. They talk about the vulnerability of putting a relationship on camera, the pressure of visas and biological clocks, and why friendship might matter just as much as romance.Content note: frank discussion of sex and dating, some swearing. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  Letter To My Libido 14.07.2026 35min

  Five writers. Five letters to their libido. Equal parts filthy, funny, and unexpectedly profound - a bonus episode to balance out this week's heavier one.This is a bonus episode with a different shape: five writers - Nadine Hura, Sam, Joseph Trinidad, Emily Writes and Melody - read the letters they wrote to their libido for TGSP's live launch event. Inspired by Jessie Casson's Letter to My Libido project, these are funny and tender pieces of writing about desire, identity, faith, grief and reclaiming your own body. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  Tender Ground 14.07.2026 48min

  Sexual trauma doesn't end when the event does. Its effects ripple forward - into how we see ourselves, how we move through intimacy, how we flinch or freeze or dissociate in moments that are supposed to feel safe. This episode explores the long aftermath of sexual trauma: the ways it reshapes identity, trust, and the body's relationship to pleasure, sometimes for years or decades. We speak with Jimanekia Eborn, sexual assault and trauma expert, who brings both clinical insight and deep personal honesty to the question of what survival actually looks like and what it takes to move beyond it. This isn't an episode about victimhood. It's about the slow, nonlinear, often surprising work of reclaiming yourself. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  Gender Attitudes in Aotearoa with Dr Rebecca Stringer 09.07.2026 42min

  New Zealand's Gender Attitudes Survey shows a sharp rise, particularly among young men, in adherence to rape myths and the belief that gender equality has gone too far. Rebecca Stringer, associate professor in gender studies at Otago University, joins Melody to make sense this troubling trend, and unpacks why this isn't as new as it feels (hello, 90s political correctness backlash), what's different this time around (the monetisation of misogyny by people with real skin in the game), and why disenfranchised young men are directing their very legitimate economic anxieties in entirely the wrong direction. They also get into what it takes to counter far-right rhetoric in the classroom, and how the left might actually win some of these guys back. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  Gap Year 07.07.2026 45min

  Divide your age by two and add seven. It's the rule nobody made up officially, yet somehow everyone knows it. But where did it come from - and does it actually mean anything? This episode pulls apart the age-gap conversation: when a difference in years is genuinely a red flag, when it's simply nobody's business, and how the calculus has shifted across generations and cultures. We look at the power dynamics that can quietly distort relationships with significant age differences, speak with a couple who have navigated the raised eyebrows and the real challenges, and ask what we're actually worried about when we worry about age gaps - and whether those concerns are always applied consistently, or only in certain directions. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  The Angel in the Algorithm - Madelaine Thomas on protecting your intimate images 02.07.2026 22min

  Madelaine Thomas had her intimate images leaked without consent while working as a dominatrix -  and couldn't find any technology that would have helped her identify the culprit.  So she built it. A bonus conversation about Image Angel, deepfakes, the shame that lingers even when you did nothing wrong, and funding an anti-abuse startup with sex work. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  Skin In The Game 30.06.2026 42min

  Sex work is often called the world's oldest profession. It’s survived moral panics, technological leaps, a global pandemic, and endless political debate. This episode looks at the state of sex work in Aotearoa New Zealand - one of the few countries where it's fully decriminalised - and asks whether legal protection translates to real safety, dignity, and wellbeing. We hear from workers about the realities of the mahi: the parts that are misunderstood, the parts that are genuinely hard, and the disruption to old models of working. And we examine how stigma, even in a decriminalised environment, continues to shape workers' access to housing, healthcare, and community - and what it takes to live a full life when your work is still, for many, unspeakable. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  Bella DePaulo - Single at Heart 25.06.2026 35min

  Social Psychologist and author Bella DePaulo is 72, single by choice, and has spent decades proving that single life isn't a consolation prize. In this conversation she shares the research on why married people aren't actually happier, how single people get quietly punished, and why "growing old alone" is her fantasy, not her fear. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  The Waiting Room 23.06.2026 45min

  From Bridget Jones to #SoloGlowUp, the story of singleness has had a rebrand. But is it liberation - or just a better-looking waiting room?Melody Thomas meets two people sitting with that question. Beth is 42, an extrovert, and someone who loves hard - sometimes too hard. After a five-year relationship that slowly stripped away her sense of self, she's reassessing what she actually wants from a partnership. Then there's Scott - non-binary, gay, and seven years into single life. Not always lonely, but not untouched by it either. Comparison creeps in. So does the ache of going without touch.And threaded through both stories: the question of whether our structures - social, legal, cultural - are quietly penalising people for being on their own. Psychologist Bella DePaulo has a name for that. She calls it singlism. And she has an entirely different way of thinking about love. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  Tom Scott on navigating heartbreak and growth through music 18.06.2026 35min

  Tom Scott - musician, father, and one of Aotearoa's most compelling voices - joins Melody for a wide-ranging conversation about love, loss, and what it actually takes to change. Tom's album Anitya is the jumping-off point: a record split between the wreckage of a decade-long relationship and the unexpected arrival of new love. But the conversation quickly goes deeper, touching on addiction and sobriety, the cycles of trauma we inherit from our parents, what real accountability looks like (hint: it starts at the bottom of the well), and why yearning is severely underrated. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  Things Fell Apart 16.06.2026 47min

  What makes some relationships survive betrayal while others collapse over something small?John and Anna built a life over fifteen years together - then nearly lost it all. Not in one moment, but slowly: new parenthood, creeping distance, alcohol, silence, and eventually repeated infidelity. This episode follows their story through the idea of rupture and repair - the quiet, unglamorous work of mending a relationship not all at once, but crack by crack. What does it take to stay, when leaving would be easier? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  Digital Dangers - The New Rules, with Netsafe's Sean Lyons 12.06.2026 26min

  You don't have to do anything to become a victim of image-based sexual abuse. AI can now fabricate intimate images from a single photo - and the shame, fear, and coercion that follow are just as real as if it had actually happened. Melody talks to Netsafe's Sean Lyons about deepfakes, sextortion, nudify apps, and the organised crime networks behind them. Essential listening - especially if you have kids online.Make a submission to the deepfake digital harm and exploitation bill here Get in touch with Netsafe here Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  Sex Bots & Data Dilemmas with Dr Rebecca Saunders 11.06.2026 38min

  Your data knows who you're attracted to. Your apps are learning how you love. And somewhere, an AI is waiting to be your perfect partner. Dr Rebecca Saunders talks to Melody about sex bots, relationship mediators, and the very human desires fuelling a very profitable industry.Dr Rebecca Saunders' Book Bodies of Work can be bought here Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  Artificial Intimacy 09.06.2026 43min

  AI is no longer just for the workplace - it's reshaping how we flirt, date, fantasise, and experience intimacy. In the Season 3 opener, host Melody Thomas meets two people using AI to navigate their real sex and dating lives: Helen, a 38-year-old early adopter who used AI to hack the Hinge algorithm, and Rob, a happily married 40-year-old from the US Midwest who's been using AI as a "very different kind of sex toy" - and making surprising discoveries about himself along the way.GuestsHelen, 38, Ōtautahi/Christchurch - early AI adopter, online dater, algorithm hackerRob, 40, Midwest USA - husband, father, and AI-assisted sexual explorerWhat We Cover🤖 AI & the dating apps: Helen's been paying for AI tools for four years. After a decade-long relationship ended, she returned to the apps and immediately put AI to work: curating her profile photos, crafting Hinge prompts, and - controversially - analysing the vibe of the men she was talking to.📊 Gaming the algorithm: Helen asked her AI to do a deep dive on how Hinge's algorithm actually works, including whether the app deliberately shows you better profiles just as your free likes run out (scarcity psychology, anyone?). She followed the AI's strategy to reset her algorithm - and saw results within 24 hours.💬 The rotation plan: Overwhelmed by matches, Helen uploaded WhatsApp threads from four different men and asked AI to rank them across categories like emotional maturity, initiative, and long-term potential. The results were... illuminating. And a little savage.🪞 The mirror moment: Helen asked the AI to turn its analysis on her. What it said stopped her in her tracks - and led to a much-needed break from dating.🎧 AI as sex toy: Rob discovered audio-first platform Bloom Stories, where users can have text and voice-based sexual exchanges with AI characters. For him, it's been a space for genuine self-discovery - including learning he's a switch, exploring JOI (you can Google that one), and even dabbling outside his usual preferences.🔒 What to consider before you dive in: Rob shares his advice on choosing platforms carefully: who owns the app, how your data is used, and why consent-aware AI actually matters.Key Quotes"Lower quantity, high quality, almost overnight." - Helen, on AI-optimising her dating profile"It asks me: Would you like to explore who to keep in rotation for what purpose? Savage." - Helen, on the AI's unsolicited strategic advice"The most powerful sex toy is your imagination." - Rob"If I have to ask GPT a question about my relationship, I should end it." - Helen, quoting a reel she saw (and fully endorsing)"There is no room for love in a fortress. It requires exposure." - AI, to Helen, with zero chillResources & Platforms MentionedHinge - dating appBloom Stories - audio erotica and AI intimacy platformAlso Out Now… Bonus Episodes🎙️Bonus 1: Sex Bots & Dating Dilemmas with Dr Rebecca Saunders Melody talks with Dr Rebecca Saunders, Senior Lecturer at Cardiff University, about AI that positions itself as a solution to human loneliness - and how tech-companies harvest your sex-data and shape public desire.  🎙️ Bonus 2: Digital Dangers - The New Rules, with Sean Lyons, Chief Online Safety Officer at Netsafe New ZealandOn how AI is opening new pathways for exploitation online. What parents, caregivers and educators need to know, and what's actually not worth worrying about.Connect📧 goodsexproject@gmail.com📱 Instagram & Facebook: @thegoodsexprojectContent note: This episode contains adult themes and explicit discussion of sexuality. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  TRAILER: The Good Sex Project is back for Season 3! 04.06.2026 1min

  Eight episodes diving into the tricky topics - age gaps and AI, betrayal and repair, singleness and shame, sex work and saying things out loud, and the question of what it takes to become an extraordinary lover. Honest, human, funny and sometimes uncomfortable - It’s gonna be a ride! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  LOVE BITE: Charlie 26.05.2026 28min

  We meet Charlie, who charts a course through a restrictive childhood, people pleasing, mirroring, and an abusive relationship to thriving as a solo non-monogamous person living with various mental and physical health issues. Can rejecting the ‘rules’ of monogamy help you feel safer, freer, and more yourself? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.