Divorce Happens

Епизоди

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  Think You’re Divorcing a Narcissist? What to Do Before You Tell Them 22.09.2026 17мин

  There is a very specific kind of fear that comes with thinking about divorce when you have no idea how your spouse is going to react. Maybe every difficult conversation somehow gets turned back on you. Maybe keeping the peace has become your full-time job. Maybe you’ve spent years being the reasonable one, the accommodating one, the person who gives a little more because it feels easier than dealing with what happens when you don’t. So how do you finally say, I want a divorce, when you believe the person on the other side of that conversation may become highly reactive or high-conflict? In this episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia Howell talks with Courtney Harkness, certified divorce coach and divorce strategist, about preparing to leave a high-conflict marriage with clarity, strategy, and support.Courtney came to this work through her own experience leaving a 21-year high-conflict marriage, finalizing her divorce in 2024, and exiting the business she had co-founded with her former husband. Today, she primarily helps successful, high-achieving women navigate high-conflict divorce. Her first piece of advice is deceptively simple: once divorce is on the table, stop assuming you and your spouse are approaching the process as one team. That does not mean becoming cruel, retaliatory, or combative. It means understanding that protecting your future is not the same thing as being unkind. Courtney talks about the particular challenge this creates for people pleasers, who may believe that staying agreeable, giving up assets, or avoiding boundaries will somehow keep a divorce amicable. As she explains, civility and self-protection can exist at the same time.This conversation gets deeply practical, too. Courtney shares why she encourages clients to prepare before announcing their decision, consult with divorce professionals ahead of time, think carefully about where that conversation takes place, avoid revealing every negotiation priority, and—perhaps most importantly—learn not to react every time a high-conflict spouse tries to provoke an emotional response. Her mantra is powerful: your superpower is not reacting. Whether you are considering divorce, preparing to leave a high-conflict marriage, dealing with a spouse who exhibits narcissistic traits, or simply trying to understand how to begin the divorce process, this episode offers a roadmap for moving from fear and chaos toward preparation, strategy, peace, and the belief that this difficult season will not last forever.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/
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  Shifting Perspectives: Why Are We So Afraid of Divorce? 22.09.2026 14мин

  Sometimes the hardest part of divorce isn’t only ending the marriage. It’s realizing how many beliefs you’ve inherited about what ending a marriage is supposed to say about you. Marriage is often presented as the goal. Divorce becomes the thing nobody wants to become. Being single is treated like an unfortunate waiting room before the next relationship begins. In this episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia Howell sits down with Tamar Queen Barbash, breakup and divorce coach and founder of New Beginnings Breakup and Divorce Coaching, for a conversation about the cultural stories surrounding marriage, divorce, relationships, and starting over—and how changing those stories can change the way we experience our own lives.Tamar works with people navigating breakups and divorce, helping them examine not only what happened in their relationships but also the societal expectations shaping how they judge themselves afterward. She explains that divorce and unhappy marriages can feel profoundly isolating because people often assume everyone else is doing relationships better than they are. Social media can intensify that loneliness by replacing real community with carefully curated versions of other people's marriages and lives. Tamar created her Shifting Perspectives podcast series to push back against those assumptions by bringing honest conversations about marriage, divorce, singleness, the divorce process, and even infidelity into the open. When people hear experiences that resemble their own, shame can begin to loosen its grip.The conversation ultimately asks listeners to consider a powerful question: What would you choose if you stopped making decisions based on what marriage, divorce, or being single is supposed to look like? Tamar discusses how fear of becoming “a divorced person” can keep someone in a relationship, how fear of being alone can make people stay when they no longer want to, and why being single does not have to mean being lonely. Divorce recovery, she argues, can involve shifting the perspective from failure to choice—from being trapped by a decision you made years ago to recognizing that you are allowed to make a different decision now. For anyone questioning a marriage, navigating divorce, rebuilding after divorce, or learning how to be alone without feeling isolated, this episode offers validation, community, and permission to imagine another way forward.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/
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  Hey Olivia, how do I let myself question the plan of staying together for the kids? 22.09.2026 5мин

  "I've said 'we're staying together for the kids' so many times it's basically become my personality. But my daughter asked me last week why I always look sad when he's talking, and I didn't have an answer for her." In this Hey Olivia listener letter episode, Olivia helps a listener sit with the question her daughter unknowingly asked her — and what it means to let a years-long belief be questioned.Olivia covers:Why a child noticing something you thought you were hiding is real, meaningful informationWhy protecting your kids and staying together aren't automatically the same thingHow kids learn what love and partnership look like by watching, not by being toldWhy questioning a years-long plan isn't a betrayal of past decisions or a sign of failureWhy re-evaluating with new information is wisdom, not inconsistencyThe identity grief that can come with questioning a self-image built around staying and sacrificingWhy both things can be true at once: staying wasn't a failure, and questioning it now is valid too"Sometimes staying protects kids. And sometimes it teaches them something you never actually meant to teach them at all."Need support navigating this? Fresh Starts offers free consults, a vetted professional network, and free guides. Learn more at freshstartsregistry.com.If this episode helped, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it today.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/
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  Hey Olivia, how do I stop building a timeline of everything I should have known? 17.09.2026 5мин

  "Everyone keeps saying 'you must have known,' and honestly? I didn't. Now I'm replaying every conversation, every weird silence, every time something felt off and I told myself I was being paranoid." In this Hey Olivia listener letter episode, Olivia helps a listener let go of the retrospective self-blame that follows discovering a betrayal she never saw coming.Olivia covers:Why you only ever know a relationship based on the information you actually had access to at the timeWhy "you must have known" is one of the least fair things people say after a betrayal comes to lightWhy dismissing a weird silence as paranoia wasn't a failure of judgment — it was a reasonable conclusion from incomplete, filtered informationWhy shame implies you failed at something you had the tools to succeed at, when you were never given the full picture to begin withA key reframe: he was responsible for being honest, and you were responsible for reasoning honestly with what you had — two different jobsWhy the retrospective timeline only looks clear now because you're standing somewhere you weren't standing back thenWhy a therapist experienced in betrayal trauma can help separate what you could have known from what you're now judging yourself for"I only had the information I was given. I reasoned well with what I had."Need support navigating this? Fresh Starts offers free consults, a vetted professional network, and free guides. Learn more at freshstartsregistry.com.If this episode helped, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it today.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/
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  Hey Olivia, how do I know the difference between giving up too soon and finally admitting effort isn't the problem? 09.09.2026 5мин

  "I've read the books. I've gone to therapy, solo, since he won't come. Every time something doesn't work, my first thought isn't 'this isn't working,' it's 'I must not be trying the right thing yet.'" In this Hey Olivia listener letter episode, Olivia helps a listener see the pattern hiding in plain sight after years of genuine, varied effort to save her marriage alone.Olivia covers:Why years of varied effort — books, solo therapy, different communication styles — is the opposite of giving up too soonWhy "I must not be trying the right thing yet" is easier to believe than "this isn't working," even when it's not more trueWhy a marriage isn't a puzzle one person can solve alone, no matter how much effort they bringHow to look at what's actually been constant across every approach: not the method, but the response you got backWhy effort not being the problem doesn't mean your efforts were wrong or wastedWhy not every ending requires a villain — the absence of a partner's participation is still the deciding factorA direct way to answer the question: has your effort ever been met with real, even imperfect, reciprocal effort?"The constant across all of it was never your methodology."Need support navigating this? Fresh Starts offers free consults, a vetted professional network, and free guides. Learn more at freshstartsregistry.com.If this episode helped, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it today.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/
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  Hey Olivia, I posted something on TikTok during an angry divorce spiral and now I regret it. Do I delete it? 09.09.2026 5мин

  "I posted something on TikTok during an angry divorce spiral last night, mid-rant, feeling completely justified in the moment. This morning I woke up and read it back and felt sick." In this Hey Olivia listener letter episode, Olivia answers a question so many people have quietly lived through: what to do the morning after an emotional, regretted post during divorce.Olivia covers:Why posting in anger at midnight during divorce is a genuinely human response, not a sign something's wrong with youWhy it's okay to simply delete a regretted post without overthinking the optics of the deletion itselfWhy deleting something isn't a confession of guilt or an admission of hiding anythingWhen it's worth a quick, honest conversation with your attorney if you're in an active legal processWhy screenshots can exist even after deletion, and what that means practically going forwardHow to build in a pause before posting during high-emotion moments — even just writing it in a notes app firstWhy you're allowed to have a private outlet to vent that isn't public: a trusted friend, a journal, a voice memo you never send"One moment of oversharing doesn't define you, and it doesn't undo everything else you're doing to handle this whole process with genuine care."Need support navigating this? Fresh Starts offers free consults, a vetted professional network, and free guides. Learn more at freshstartsregistry.com.If this episode helped, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it today.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/
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  Hey Olivia, how do I stop sleeping with my spouse now that we're separated? 09.09.2026 6мин

  "Since my husband and I separated, we keep ending up back in bed together. It's not planned. It just happens." In this Hey Olivia listener letter episode, Olivia answers one of the most common — and least talked about — parts of separation: continuing to sleep with a spouse you've split from, and why it's so much harder to stop than it sounds.Olivia covers:Why this is one of the most common things that happens during separation, even though almost no one admits it out loudThe real chemical bonding that comes with physical intimacy with someone familiar, regardless of where things stand emotionallyWhy keeping this private isn't shame — it's often just protecting yourself from managing other people's reactionsWhy the "setback" feeling afterward isn't confusion, it's clear information: the body wants comfort, growth wants distance, and both are true at onceWhy structural changes work better than willpower alone — limiting alone time, meeting in public, having a plan for lonelinessHow to get specific about whether the craving is for that person, or for touch and closeness in generalWhy deciding your boundary on a calm day beats deciding it in a lonely moment"Your body wants comfort. Your growth wants distance. Both are true."Need support navigating this? Fresh Starts Registry offers free consults, a vetted professional network, and free guides. Learn more at freshstartsregistry.com.If this episode helped, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it today.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/
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  Hey Olivia, I haven't told anyone I'm thinking about divorce. Does that mean I'm not serious about it? 07.09.2026 5мин

  "I've been thinking about divorce for months, but I haven't told a single person. Does that mean I'm not actually serious about it?" In this Hey Olivia listener letter episode, Olivia answers a question so many people carry silently — and makes the case that staying quiet doesn't mean you're not serious. If anything, it might mean the opposite.Olivia covers:Why silence is not the same thing as ambivalenceWhy processing privately first is often the safest, smartest way to approach a life-changing decisionWhy months of quiet thinking is actually fast, not slow, for something this bigWhy telling one person doesn't have to be a "starting gun" for anythingWhy a thought that won't go away is usually strong evidence it's real — not evidence that it isn'tPermission to move at your own pace, on your own timeline, with no outside benchmark to meet"The thoughts that don't go away are usually the ones trying to tell you something true."Want somewhere to say it out loud for the very first time, without it being a starting gun for anything? Divorce Happens offers free consults, a vetted professional network, and free guides. Learn more at freshstartsregistry.com.If this episode helped, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it today.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/
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  Hey Olivia, how do I know if this is over, or just a rough patch? 07.09.2026 5мин

  "How do I actually know if what I'm feeling is 'this is over,' or just a rough patch?" In this Hey Olivia listener letter episode, Olivia answers one of the most common quiet questions in marriage — the doubt that comes and goes, with no single big reason attached. She walks through five honest, practical questions to help you tell the difference between a temporary rough season and something more permanent, without rushing you toward an answer before you're ready.Olivia covers:Why feeling doubt about your marriage isn't automatically proof "it's over"How to tell if what you're feeling is tied to a specific season versus something more permanentThe difference between a thought that flares and settles versus one that's become a constant low humWhy your body's honest, gut-level reaction often knows before your mind doesHow to check whether you're the only one still reaching in the relationshipWhy wanting clarity isn't the same as looking for a reason to leave"You don't have to know for certain right now. You're allowed to keep asking the question for as long as you need to."Want help thinking this through with someone who isn't inside your marriage and won't rush you toward an answer? Divorce Happens offers free consults, a vetted professional network, and free guides. Learn more at freshstartsregistry.com.If this episode helped, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it today.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/
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  You Don't Owe Anyone a Reason For Your Decision Yet 04.09.2026 6мин

  Do you feel like you need an airtight, defensible reason before you're even allowed to think about divorce? In this solo episode, Olivia pushes back on that pressure and hands you permission you didn't know you were waiting for: "something isn't right for me" is allowed to be a complete reason, full stop. This episode is for anyone stuck in the private, early stage of questioning their marriage — before they've said a word to anyone else.Olivia covers:Why we've all absorbed a hierarchy of "acceptable" reasons to leave a marriage — and why that hierarchy is a trapThe real difference between explaining your feelings and justifying them to someone elseWhy waiting for a "good enough" reason can keep you stuck in the thinking stage for yearsWhy "I don't know exactly why, I just know something feels off" is a complete sentenceA simple script for holding your boundary when people push for more detail than you're ready to giveWhy you're allowed to still be figuring it out, with no defense prepared in advance"Something isn't right for me" is allowed to be a complete, sufficient reason. Full stop.Need a place to think this through out loud with someone who won't ask you to justify a single word of it? Fresh Starts Registry offers free consults, a vetted professional network, and free guides. Learn more at freshstartsregistry.com.If this episode helped, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it today.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/Divorce Financial Clarity Academy™ is a six-week live program designed to help women better understand the financial decisions that come with divorce—including the questions they may not even know they need to be asking yet. Led by Donna Cates of Money Matters Wealth Solutions, with guest professionals joining throughout the program, the Academy begins September 18. Registration is now open. Investment: $297Learn more and register here: bit.ly/divorcefinancialclarity
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  Why Your Body Shakes The First Time You Say Divorce Out Loud 04.09.2026 7мин

  Why does your heart race, your hands shake, or your throat tighten the moment you finally say "I'm getting divorced" out loud? In this solo episode, Olivia breaks down the physical, nervous-system side of disclosing a divorce — the part almost nobody talks about. This isn't about the emotional grief of divorce; it's about what's actually happening in your body in that first raw moment of telling someone, and why that reaction is completely normal.Olivia covers:Why your body reacts so intensely the first time you say it out loudThe nervous system science behind shaking hands, a racing heart, nausea, or a tight throatWhy keeping a divorce private feels "safer" — and what changes the moment you tell someoneHow to recognize a normal stress response instead of thinking something's wrong with youSimple aftercare for after a hard conversationWhy healing isn't linear, and why that's not backsliding"Your body is going to have a reaction, and that reaction is not a red flag. It's proof this matters exactly as much as you think it does."If this episode helped, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it today.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/Divorce Financial Clarity Academy™ is a six-week live program designed to help women better understand the financial decisions that come with divorce—including the questions they may not even know they need to be asking yet. Led by Donna Cates of Money Matters Wealth Solutions, with guest professionals joining throughout the program, the Academy begins September 18. Registration is now open. Investment: $297Learn more and register here: bit.ly/divorcefinancialclarity
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  You Signed Your Divorce Decree — But Do You Actually Know What's In It? Molly Rosenblum, Esq. explains! 03.09.2026 17мин

  There's a piece of paper that ends your marriage and quietly runs your life for years afterward — and almost nobody reads the whole thing. In this episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia sits down with Molly Rosenblum, Esq., founding attorney of The Rosenblum Allen Law Firm and one of the most respected family law attorneys in Las Vegas, Nevada — the self-described “divorce capital of the world.” With more than two decades of experience trying family law cases to verdict and a career built almost entirely around helping people through divorce, Molly is exactly the guide listeners need for the deceptively simple question at the center of this conversation: what actually is a divorce decree, and why does it matter so much more than anyone tells you going in?Molly walks Olivia — and every listener who's ever stared blankly at their own divorce paperwork — through what a decree actually contains: property and debt division, custody and visitation schedules, child support, alimony, and, depending on your state, requirements as specific as whether you're reverting to your maiden name. She compares it to “the rule book” of your divorce, the document a court will always return to if a dispute resurfaces years later. Molly shares real moments from her practice, including panicked holiday phone calls from clients convinced their ex is violating the custody schedule — only to discover, decree in hand, that the schedule was on their side all along. It's a candid look at how much confusion, fear, and even relief lives inside a single legal document, and why understanding it before you sign it may be one of the most protective things you can do for yourself and your kids.What makes this conversation land is Molly's refusal to treat divorce as something to whisper about. She talks about clients who've framed their finalized decrees on the wall — a symbol of survival, not shame — and reminds listeners that divorce, however common it's become, still deserves to be met with knowledge instead of fear. Two takeaways to walk away with: read every single word of your decree before you sign it, and keep a certified copy somewhere safe, because you'll need it in places you'd never expect — school enrollment, the DMV, even the Social Security office. Whether you're heading into your first consultation or you've been divorced for years and just realized you never actually understood your own paperwork, this episode offers the clarity, and quiet confidence, you didn't know you needed.Learn more about Molly Rosenblum: Molly Rosenblum is the founder and managing attorney of Rosenblum Allen Law Firm, a leading Nevada family law firm serving Las Vegas, Henderson, and Summerlin. Raised in Las Vegas, Molly graduated Cum Laude from the William S. Boyd School of Law at UNLV in 2002 and began her career gaining valuable courtroom and litigation experience before founding her firm in 2005. For more than 20 years, Molly has focused on complex family law matters, including high-asset divorces, contested custody cases, and prenuptial and postnuptial agreements. Today, Molly leads a growing team of attorneys and has handled more than $100 million in high-asset family law matters. She is a court-appointed Guardian ad Litem, a Certified AFCC Parenting Coordinator, and a member of the Raise the Bar committee, helping shape professional standards for family law practitioners in Las Vegas. She is licensed to practice in Nevada and Idaho.Helpful ResourcesRosenblum Allen Law Firm has more on both situations:→ Enforcing a Divorce Decree in Nevada→ Post-Divorce Modifications in NevadaLearn more about Rosenblum Allen Law Firm.This episode is a sponsored placement, presented by The Rosenblum Allen Law Firm
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  Hey Olivia, why am I the villain for leaving an abusive marriage? 11.08.2026 6мин

  There's a particular kind of injustice that so many survivors know intimately: you're the one who finally said enough, and somehow you've become the villain of the story. In this week's Hey Olivia letter episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell answers a listener who is pushing for her own divorce after enduring abuse for years — abuse that is still ongoing, even now, in the middle of the process — while her husband performs the role of the blindsided, devastated spouse to his family and to anyone who will listen. She's holding a boundary, refusing to explain or justify herself to people who've only ever heard his side, and she wrote in asking a question so many divorcing survivors carry silently: how do you breathe through being cast as the bad guy for finally protecting yourself?Olivia meets this letter with a clarity that cuts straight through the noise. She names, plainly, one of the most disorienting dynamics in high-conflict and abusive divorces: the person who names the problem out loud almost always looks like the problem to people standing outside the relationship, because outsiders only ever get the version of the story someone motivated to tell it favorably chooses to give them. She calls the “I never saw this coming” performance exactly what it often is — a self-protective narrative for behavior that wouldn't hold up under real scrutiny — and she's unflinching about the deeper truth underneath it: his performance doesn't get to overwrite what the listener already knows happened to her. This episode speaks directly to anyone questioning their own reality after leaving an abusive marriage, and to anyone wondering whether they owe the people around them a full explanation before they're allowed to go.Where this episode offers real, usable relief is in the boundary tools Olivia hands listeners for surviving outside judgment during divorce. She gives an exact script for holding a line with family and friends who push for details survivors don't owe anyone, encourages finding real, dedicated support from a therapist experienced specifically in abuse and coercive control, and reframes survival itself: getting through to a final divorce was never about convincing everyone else of your reality, it's about protecting your own nervous system one day at a time. Listeners walk away with both a permission slip to stop explaining themselves and a concrete plan — including where to find real support — for surviving judgment while healing from an abusive marriage.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/
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  Hey Olivia, how do I prepare for mediation with an ex who fights me on everything? 11.08.2026 6мин

  Mediation is hard enough when both people are negotiating in good faith. It's a different animal entirely when you're walking into the room across from someone who seems to oppose almost everything on principle. In this week's Hey Olivia letter episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell answers a listener with mediation just weeks away — a mother who has held down the marital home with her kids under temporary orders for over a year, now facing an ex pushing to sell the house their children have called home since kindergarten. It's the kind of letter that will feel instantly familiar to anyone who has sat across a mediation table from someone who fights you more out of principle than out of any specific, negotiable position.Olivia's central reframe is the heart of this episode, and it's one that changes the entire way you walk into a high-conflict mediation: you're not there to persuade your ex of anything. You're there to build a proposal that looks obviously reasonable to a mediator, whether or not he ever agrees to it out loud. From there, she gets specific — teaching listeners to separate a person's stated position from the actual interest underneath it, whether that's money, control, or the fear of feeling like he “lost.” She also offers concrete mechanisms for the marital-home fight so many divorcing parents face, like a buyout tied to a refinance or a deferred sale linked to a school milestone, so a flat “I want to stay” becomes something a mediator can actually work with.What makes this episode land is how honestly Olivia prepares listeners for the emotional terrain of mediating with a provoking, oppositional ex — and gives them a way through it that doesn't require winning the argument in the room. She walks through knowing your floor before you ever sit down, looping your attorney into strategy (not just outcomes) so you understand your real leverage if mediation doesn't resolve things, and protecting your own nervous system with something as simple as permission to ask for five minutes when things get heated. It's an episode about divorce mediation preparation that's equal parts strategy and steadiness — and it leaves listeners with a genuinely usable plan for walking into a hard room and walking out with real terms.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/
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  Hey Olivia, how do I survive watching my spouse date again while cohabitating? 11.08.2026 7мин

  There's a specific kind of heartbreak that doesn't have a name yet — the one where you're still doing his laundry in the same house while he giggles at his phone on the couch. In this week's Hey Olivia letter episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell reads a note from a listener who is separated from her husband but cohabiting with him for the summer while he searches for a new place — and who has just realized, with a gut-punch kind of clarity, that he's back on the dating apps. She's watching someone she built a life with light up for a stranger, from the next room. This episode is for anyone who has discovered that a legal or emotional decision to separate doesn't automatically shut off the nervous system's attachment to the person you're separating from — especially when you're still sharing a kitchen sink.Olivia doesn't just validate the listener's confusion — she names it precisely, calling it a breakup with no exit door. Unlike a typical split, cohabiting during a separation strips away the physical distance that usually gives a grieving nervous system room to catch up with a decision the mind has already made. Olivia walks through the biology of it: years of loving someone teaches your body to read their moods, their footsteps, the sound of their phone buzzing on the counter, so when that same person turns giddy over someone new, the jealousy that surfaces isn't weakness or regression — it's a nervous system still doing its old job, even after the heart has moved on. It's a reframe that listeners navigating in-house separation or divorce cohabitation rarely hear articulated this clearly, and it changes how the whole experience feels to sit inside.Where this episode really earns its keep is in the practical toolkit Olivia hands listeners by the end. She offers a script for setting boundaries with a cohabiting soon-to-be-ex around dating apps and phone calls in shared spaces, a pre-planned “exit move” for when the couch-giggling starts, and a short list of personal anchors — one person, one private ritual, one small rule — to hold onto when everything else feels blurry. It's an episode about dating after separation from the other side of the equation, about grief without closure, and about giving yourself permission to feel relief and heartbreak in the very same breath. Listeners walk away with both a concrete plan for surviving a shared roof and a gentler, more compassionate understanding of why this particular kind of hard is so disorienting — and so valid.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/
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  The Mediation Series, Part 4: Life After Divorce Mediation 07.08.2026 12мин

  You don’t walk out of a mediation session into a blank space — and yet almost nobody talks about what actually comes next. That’s the gap this episode of the divorce mediation series closes, as host Olivia Howell wraps up her four-part mediation series with Allison McFadden, a Washington D.C.-Baltimore-area family law attorney, Certified Divorce Coach®, and court-appointed mediator who founded Divorce by Allison after more than a decade practicing family law. After walking listeners through what mediation is, how to prepare for it, and what it actually feels like to be in the room, Allison closes the series by answering the question that lingers once the session ends: now what?Allison starts with the scenario people fear most — not reaching an agreement — and immediately reframes it with real hope: mediation and litigation aren’t mutually exclusive, and stalling out in one session doesn’t mean the process failed. She lays out concrete next steps, from bringing in a divorce coach to strategize before the next session, to consulting an attorney about what’s realistic, to simply scheduling another round. But for the vast majority of people who do reach an agreement, Allison is clear that the hardest part is now behind them — though the paperwork isn’t finished. She walks through how a mediator typically drafts a memorandum of understanding, parenting plan, or settlement agreement, and why certain documents, like deeds or retirement orders, may still require an attorney’s involvement depending on the state.What makes this finale so valuable is the practical homework Allison hands listeners: don’t let your agreement collect dust in a drawer. She urges people to build a checklist and calendar every deadline — account closures, transfer dates, the annual date to pick summer parenting weeks — so the agreement actually gets lived out, not just signed. She also delivers a detail that surprises many listeners: reaching an agreement in mediation doesn’t finalize your divorce. You still have to file paperwork with the court, and Allison shares practical, money-saving options like self-help courthouse programs for anyone who wants to file without paying for a full attorney retainer. She closes the series with genuine reassurance — the vast majority of divorces are resolved by agreement, and no one goes through mediation alone. For anyone who has followed this series from the beginning, this episode is the reassuring, practical send-off that ties the whole journey together.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/
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  The Mediation Series, Part 3: What It’s Actually Like to Be in Divorce Mediation 07.08.2026 16мин

  For most people, the inside of a mediation session is a total mystery — a closed door they’re about to walk through with no idea what’s on the other side. That’s exactly the gap this episode of Divorce Happens closes, as host Olivia Howell continues part three of her four-part series with Allison McFadden, a Washington D.C.-Baltimore-area family law attorney, Certified Divorce Coach®, and court-appointed mediator who founded Divorce by Allison after more than a decade practicing family law. Having already covered what divorce mediation is and how to prepare for it, this episode finally opens the door: what does it actually look and feel like to sit down and be in a mediation session, from the first minute to the last?Allison walks listeners through the anatomy of a real session with a level of detail that’s genuinely reassuring. It starts with the mediator setting the agenda — running through a checklist of common divorce and co-parenting topics to figure out what actually applies to this family, from the house to the parenting plan to retirement accounts. Nothing gets decided in stone that day; agreements reached in the room are tentative, notes are taken, and open items (like needing to pull retirement account statements) get flagged for next time. Allison also demystifies the physical logistics that surprise most first-timers: sessions can happen on Zoom or in person, and while she generally keeps both people in the same room — believing it builds the communication skills co-parents will keep needing — breakout rooms are always an option when things get heated or when someone wants to consult privately with an attorney or support person.What makes this episode land is its warmth and its permission-giving honesty. Allison answers one of the questions she says she gets constantly — what do I even wear to this? — with refreshing simplicity: be comfortable, there’s no dress code, and the mediator isn’t judging you for showing up in your work uniform after a long shift. She reassures listeners that most people show up on their best behavior, that agreements are never signed the same day so there’s time to review with an attorney, and that mediation sessions can even include moments of real levity — laughter, collaboration, and for some couples, a genuinely amicable way to close one chapter and start figuring out the next one, together. For anyone dreading the unknown of mediation, this episode replaces fear with a clear, human picture of what’s actually ahead.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/
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  The Mediation Series, Part 2: How to Prepare for Divorce Mediation 07.08.2026 13мин

  A mediator is not a magician. That single line, dropped early in this episode of Divorce Happens, sets the tone for one of the most genuinely useful conversations in the show’s mediation series so far. Host Olivia Howell continues part two of her four-part collaboration with Allison McFadden, a Washington D.C.-Baltimore-area family law attorney, Certified Divorce Coach®, and court-appointed mediator who founded Divorce by Allison after more than a decade practicing family law.If the first episode in this series answered the question of what divorce mediation actually is, this one answers the question almost nobody thinks to ask beforehand: how do you actually prepare to walk into the room? Because as Allison makes clear, preparation isn’t a formality — it’s one of the biggest predictors of whether mediation succeeds.Allison walks listeners through exactly what real preparation looks like, and it’s far more concrete and reassuring than most people expect. She encourages listeners to interview their mediator ahead of time — asking about their style (facilitative versus evaluative), how long sessions run, what topics will be covered, and how they handle high emotion in the room. She also normalizes a fear many listeners carry quietly: the worry of being talked over or steamrolled by a spouse during mediation.Allison’s answer is refreshingly practical — you’re allowed to bring support. A pre-mediation divorce coach, a consulting attorney, even a financial advisor can join the process, and she breaks down exactly how that works logistically, from private side-conversations in a Zoom breakout room to sitting at the table together. Olivia adds her own lived experience here, sharing that her mediation began over Zoom and evolved into each side bringing in their own attorney to help finalize things — without ever coming close to court.What makes this episode so actionable is how far it goes beyond generic advice. Allison gets specific about the documents that actually matter (account and mortgage statements and a school calendar, not birth or marriage certificates), the importance of walking in with a clear intention or “North Star” for why you’re there, and the value of preparing flexible proposals rather than a single non-negotiable demand.She closes with something rarely discussed in divorce circles: how to prepare mentally, naming that mediation can surface real emotional triggers and encouraging listeners to build a plan — through therapy, coaching, or somatic techniques — before those moments catch them off guard. Listeners walk away with a genuine sense of agency: mediation isn’t something that happens to you, it’s a process you can walk into prepared, supported, and clear-eyed.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/
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  The Mediation Series, Part 1: What Is Divorce Mediation, Really? 07.08.2026 12мин

  Most people going through a divorce have heard the word “mediation” — and almost none of them know what it actually means. That gap is exactly where this episode of Divorce Happens begins, with host Olivia Howell kicking off a brand-new four-part series on divorce mediation alongside Allison McFadden, a Washington D.C.-Baltimore-area family law attorney, Certified Divorce Coach®, and court-appointed mediator who has spent more than a decade helping families untangle divorce and co-parenting without setting foot in a courtroom. After years as a litigation attorney, Allison made a deliberate pivot: she founded Divorce by Allison to give people a private, collaborative, and far less combative path through one of life’s hardest transitions, and in this conversation she pulls back the curtain on a process that is often misunderstood, underexplained, and quietly one of the most empowering options available to divorcing couples.What makes this episode so valuable is how thoroughly Allison reframes what divorce mediation actually offers. She explains that mediation is a confidential, voluntary process guided by a neutral third party — not a judge, not a decision-maker, but a facilitator whose entire job is to help you and your co-parent or spouse reach an agreement that fits your family. That distinction matters enormously, because it means you retain control over nearly everything: who your mediator is, how quickly or slowly things move, and how creatively you solve the issues in front of you, from custody and parenting plans to the house, the finances, and everything in between. Allison contrasts this directly with divorce court, where a judge who has spent only a few hours with your case ultimately makes decisions for your family within the narrow limits of state law. She also gently dismantles one of the biggest myths clients bring into mediation: the fear that a mediator will simply tell them what to do. “The mediator is not there to make the decisions,” she reminds listeners — the mediator is there to help you and your co-parent find your own answer.Listeners walk away from this episode with real clarity and real hope, especially anyone who assumed mediation wasn’t an option because things with their spouse or co-parent feel too difficult. Allison walks through exactly what the process looks like in practice, from a free 20-minute consultation call to a prep checklist to a roughly two-hour mediation session that ends in a written agreement, and she makes the case that even high-conflict or emotionally complicated situations can still be strong candidates for mediation, because the process is built to be tailored to your family rather than forced into a courtroom template. This episode is the first in a four-part Divorce Happens series on mediation, so if you’re newly considering divorce, trying to avoid a costly and public court battle, or simply want to understand your options before you decide anything, this conversation is the essential, judgment-free place to start.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/
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  Hey Olivia, I filed for divorce and now I'm drowning in grief—did I make a mistake?! 29.07.2026 6мин

  She planned it for months — saved up, found an apartment, rehearsed the speech. She was sure. And three weeks after filing, she’s crying in a Target parking lot, smelling her almost-ex-husband’s hoodie before she donates it, waking up sobbing from a dream where they were still together. In this Divorce Happens “Hey Olivia” episode, host Olivia Howell reads a listener letter word for word and answers the question underneath it: if leaving was the right call, why does it still hurt this much? It’s one of the most tender, disorienting parts of divorce recovery — the grief that shows up even when you were the one who filed — and Olivia meets it head-on with clarity, warmth, and zero judgment.Olivia’s core teaching reframes the entire experience: grief after a decision you made on purpose still counts as grief, full stop — it is not a scoreboard telling you whether you got it right or wrong. She walks through why the nervous system doesn’t distinguish between a sad ending and a wrong one; when a marriage ends, you’re not just losing a person, you’re losing an imagined future — the routines, the holidays, the version of “us” you’d built in your head. That’s why a dream of getting back together isn’t a gut-check reversing the divorce, and why missing the smell of a hoodie isn’t longing for him back — it’s a body flagging something familiar that’s disappearing. Olivia names this for what it actually is: withdrawal, not regret.The episode lands on two mindset shifts listeners can use immediately. First, a diagnostic question for the 3 a.m. spiral: do I miss him, or do I miss not being alone with all of this? One is about a person; the other is about fear — and you’re allowed to sit with both without acting on either today. Second, a somatic tool: hand on chest, out loud, “this is grief, not a mistake.” Olivia is clear that clarity isn’t the goal right now — care is, alongside a real runway of weeks or months before trusting any conclusion grief hands you in its loudest moments. It’s a compassionate, validating listen for anyone in the disorienting early weeks after filing, wondering if missing someone means they made the wrong call. They didn’t. Their body is just catching up.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/