The Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Podcast

Епизоди

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  Why You Panic When Someone Pulls Away (Attachment Expert Explains) 06.10.2026 15мин

  Send us Fan Mail On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre If you cling when someone pulls away, panic when a text goes unanswered, or want closeness and fear it at the same time, you're not "too much" — you're likely running an Attachment pattern formed long before the relationship you're in now. In this video, Gary explains Anxious and Disorganized Attachment: where the terror of being abandoned comes from, why the two styles feel so different from the i...
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  Why "I Don't Need Anyone" Is Usually a Trauma Response, Not Strength 29.09.2026 12мин

  Send us Fan Mail On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre "I don't need anyone" often sounds like strength — but it's frequently a trauma response, not a personality trait. In this video, Gary breaks down hyper-independence: why it develops (usually from learning early on that relying on others wasn't safe or reliable), how it quietly damages relationships by keeping partners, friends, and family at arm's length, and why the people who most need connection are ...
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  Which of the 4 Attachment Styles Are You? (Secure vs. Insecure) 22.09.2026 11мин

  Send us Fan Mail On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Most relationship patterns — the ones you keep repeating without meaning to — trace back to one thing: your Attachment Style. In this video, Gary breaks down the four Attachment Styles (secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized), what drives each one, and why understanding yours is often the missing piece in relationships that keep hitting the same wall. This isn't about labelling yourself — it's about...
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  Why "Attachment" Is Actually Detachment (The Hidden Psychology) 16.09.2026 12мин

  Send us Fan Mail On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre The Attachment That's Really Avoidance — Why Closeness Can Feel Like a Threat Why Some People Feel Closest When They're Actually Furthest Away DESCRIPTION: What looks like attachment — staying, showing up, saying the right things — can actually be a form of detachment. Many people in relationships with addiction stay closely tied to the routine and the role, while emotionally checking out from th...
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  "What's Wrong With Me?" — The Question Every Sex Addict Asks 11.09.2026 14мин

  Send us Fan Mail On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Shame and self-criticism are often the real barrier to recovery — not the addiction itself, but the belief underneath it that you're not worth the work of healing. In today's video, trained sex and porn addiction specialist [Gary] walks through a practical 30-day self-compassion exercise designed to rebuild the distorted self-perception that years of shame and self-chastisement can create. Gary t...
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  Relapsed Again? Here's How to Get Back Up (Sex Addiction Expert Explains) 04.09.2026 11мин

  Send us Fan Mail On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Let's look at Episode 189 recording from another perspective. Sobriety rarely happens in a straight line — and if you've relapsed and feel like you're back at square one, you're not failing at recovery, you're likely missing a piece of it. In this video, Gary explains why "white-knuckling" and willpower alone tend to collapse under pressure, and why lasting sobriety depends on treating the trauma undern...
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  Sex addict - learn to get up, dust off & get back in 18.08.2026 11мин

  Send us Fan Mail On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre When you do Therapy/Counselling with The Kairos Centre, there are these 3 Stages which summarise the process: Stage one: Explore - that is what we do in the 50 minutes session. We jump into the sand pit together to talk, discuss and explore the issues. Stage two: Reflections in order to gain Insight & Understanding. That is what you do outside of the sessions. It is actually the most important stage,...
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  Sex Addiction damage to the Couple needs proactive Repair 24.07.2026 13мин

  Send us Fan Mail On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Sex Addiction prevalence in the couple's relationship is likely to create tension, conflict , hurt and damage to trust and therefore undermine to couple's relationship. Repair will be needed and almost certainly third party trained help will be beneficial. When "Mrs Porn" is on her way out and a distance down the road - not necessarily having been gone for a long period - but going is detectible - it's t...
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  Got to, got to start to like myself; even to Love myself 17.07.2026 10мин

  Send us Fan Mail On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Negative thinking is also a form of meditation - meditation on the wrong thing. CBT (Cognitive Behavioural) principles kick in - which tells us - my thinking (whether negative or positive) will always determine and lead to my behaviour. Therefore, a negative schema is being set up, such that negative behaviours are merely following the pre-determine trajectory set in place by cognitive/thinking. Change c...
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  Sex Addict - You really are not as bad as you think you are 11.07.2026 10мин

  Send us Fan Mail On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre You really are not as bad as yo think you are. Honestly! Your sense of who you really are has gone adrift. Try the exercise in today's video, to reclaim right perspectives over time. Self compassion is needed - toward self. Don't be that hard on yourself. Too much self chastisement and insufficient praise and acknowledgement of an achievement, has enhanced that self deprecation. Stop it now! Do the...
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  Sex Addict - Does life keep changing you! 06.07.2026 16мин

  Send us Fan Mail On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Consider these Life Stages by Dr Thomas Armstrong, Ph.D (www.institute4learning.com): "Here are what I call the twelve gifts of the human life cycle: 1. Prebirth: Potential – The child who has not yet been born could become anything – a Michelangelo, a Shakespeare, a Martin Luther King – and thus holds for all of humanity the principle of what we all may yet become ...
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  Sex Addict....more of this thing called Life Stage Changes 26.06.2026 12мин

  Send us Fan Mail On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Life Stages (not Midlife Crises!) is about how Human Development is divided into distinct Stages. Here is a reminder of those Stages: Prenatal -> infancy -> early childhood -> middle childhood -> adolescence -> early adulthood -> middle adulthood -> late adulthood. It is stating the obvious, but recognise (and not only pay lip-service) to the fact that each Stage is marked by certain...
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  Sex Addict - Self soothing through Life Stage changes? 19.06.2026 11мин

  Send us Fan Mail On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Human beings have a life cycle. Each stage is marked by subtle adjustments to cope with the social, economical, cultural and sometimes, chronic stressors of the stage. Here is just one version of Life Stage age grouping categories. There are variants. Let us look at one version. Each stage looking at the different phases of life: Infant (Birth- 2 years): Changes in schedules – bedtime, routin...
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  "No way - I would never trash my own 'Values' over trivial conflicts - would I?" 12.06.2026 13мин

  Send us Fan Mail On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Let's check that we are on the same page as we have a discussion about 'Values'. I am speaking about such things as being able to be Creative, have Integrity, Fitness, Security, Faith, Self Confidence, Wealth, Winning, Honesty and many more. In the cool light of day, we would never purposely/consciously/intentionally trash our Values. They are a part of us and how we do life, want to do life and choose t...
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  Sex Addict - "I am not a Passive-Aggressive by my behaviours!" - Part 2 05.06.2026 9мин

  Send us Fan Mail On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre It is worth listening again to the first part of this topic (in a recent past episode) - entitled: Sex Addict - "I am not a Passive-Aggressive by my behaviours!" - This is a continuation of that topic talking about Core Emotional Needs. This is part 2 of how Passive-Aggressive behaviours can show up - as a way of trying to get Core Emotional Needs met. Do you know what are your top 3 most important...
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  Enjoy this bonus episode from an interview about my life's journey! 30.05.2026 1ч 12мин

  Send us Fan Mail On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Grab your popcorn, peanuts and a drink, this is a long episode. It is a bonus episode, bringing it all together in one episode. I was interviewed by Seen&heard (an organisation supporting those traumatised by boarding school attendance) - for whom I am one of their Directory of experienced Therapists working with those different Traumas. In this very personal and up close interview of me and my journ...
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  Sex Addict - "I am not a Passive-Aggressive by my behaviours!" 29.05.2026 13мин

  Send us Fan Mail On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre What is passive-aggressive behaviour? Do you fight like this? Passive-aggressive behaviour is when you express negative feelings indirectly instead of openly talking about them. It is a defence used to protect self. It might stem from early experiences and has become a way to protect self. It might also include feelings of rejection, fear, mistrust, insecurity and/or low self-esteem. It is often vi...
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  Sex Addiction may mean the true YOU never fully evolved and got ambushed 22.05.2026 8мин

  Send us Fan Mail On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Let's talk about how well you really know yourself. Remember that the addiction behaviours are all about self-soothing to manage emotions; a time of escape from life's issues for a while. It means that many other life skills for managing emotions such as stress, pressure, anxiety, upset and other normal emotions, may never have been learned in childhood, because the addiction behaviours became the 'go-to...
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  As a sex addict - do you really know you? 15.05.2026 9мин

  Send us Fan Mail On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre “I’m the author of my own life story. Unfortunately, I’m writing in pen and I can’t erase my mistakes but my future will be better than my past.” - Mr Meet Therapy with The Kairos Centre is all about helping you to better understand you. Helping to move as much of life's issues from the unconscious, from the unseen, from the invisible, into the conscious, into the seen, into the vi...
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  The world's finest Apple - who me? 08.05.2026 12мин

  Send us Fan Mail On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre The Law of Sustainment refers to the principle that your ability to maintain progress towards your goals is closely tied to your self-image and identity. If your inner beliefs do not align with your aspirations, it can lead to inconsistency and failure to achieve lasting change. Put slightly differently: It says 'If you see yourself in a certain way, you'll find it hard to sustain lasting change'. Can yo...