The Motherless Mother

Episod

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  Episode 15: I Thought I’d Be Grown by Now 22.09.2026 17min

  When I was 19, my mother was 46. Back then, 46 sounded middle-aged to me. Grown grown. Surely by that age, you knew who you were, had life figured out and had done most of the becoming. Now I’m 46. And apparently, 19-year-old me had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. In this episode of The Motherless Mother Podcast, I reflect on midlife, motherhood and mother loss by looking back at the woman my mother, Lillian, was at 46—and at how different my own life looks at the very same age...
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  Episode 14: I Knew Mummy. But Did I Know Her? 16.09.2026 15min

  I knew my mother very well. But after losing her, I’ve found myself wondering about all the versions of her I never got to meet. The tomboy-ish little girl who was mischievous but afraid of getting spanked. The young woman who became Miss Nassau Beach Hotel. The sister who went dancing with my Auntie Wasi and gave men fake names—Linda Pinder and Sandra Fernander—and then switched places when those men called the house. I knew Mummy. But who was Lillian before she was my mother? In this episod...
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  Episode 13: Who Do I Call Now? 09.09.2026 12min

  My mother was usually my first call of the morning and my last call at night. Sometimes I needed advice. Sometimes I had news. But most of the time, I called her about absolutely nothing. Nearly six years after losing her, there are still moments when something happens and my first thought is: I need to call Mummy. In this episode of The Motherless Mother, I’m talking about missing your mother after she dies—especially the ordinary phone calls I miss most. I explore the difference between hav...
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  Episode 12: The Mother I Thought I’d Be 01.09.2026 22min

  Before I became a mother, I had ideas about the kind of mother I would be—and the kind of woman I would remain. Then I actually became one. Motherhood didn't just add children to my life. It changed my priorities, my ambitions, and even my definition of success. And somewhere along the way, I started wondering about something women hear all the time: Don't lose yourself in motherhood. But what if I didn't lose myself? What if motherhood simply introduced me to a version of myself I couldn't h...
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  Episode 11: What Kind of Mother Will They Remember? 27.08.2026 13min

  One day, our children will tell stories about us. What will they remember? Losing my mother changed the way I think about memories. I don’t remember whether she got motherhood right every time. I remember her—her smile, her laugh, the scents she wore, the meals she made, the softness of her skin, and the way she showed up. And lately, I’ve been wondering: What will my children remember about me? After weeks of traveling together—from watching my son compete for The Bahamas to exploring London...
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  Episode 10: I Wish My Mother Could See This 11.08.2026 16min

  There are moments when the joy is so big — and right alongside it comes the ache. I wish my mother could see this. As I prepare to travel to Trinidad to watch my son represent The Bahamas as part of the national swim team, I've found myself thinking about the person I most wish could be in the stands with me: my mother. But one of the things I've learned about grief after losing my mother is that it doesn't only show up in the big moments. It's there in the funny things our children say. The ...
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  Episode 9: Loving a Motherless Mother 04.08.2026 22min

  When my mother died during the pandemic, the people who loved me wanted to help. They couldn't stop by. They couldn't bring a meal. They couldn't sit beside me. So they called. And because they could only call, their words were all they had. Over the years, I've realized there were things I wish people had understood—not just about grief, but about loving someone who's living through it. In this episode of The Motherless Mother, I share seven reflections on what to say to someone who has lost...
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  Episode 8: Still Her Daughter - Shonalee 28.07.2026 29min

  What does it mean to mother your children when you still miss your own mom? In the very first episode of our Still Her Daughter series, I'm joined by Shonalee King Johnson —a wife, mother, entrepreneur, and, as she says, “always and forever, Gwen's daughter.” Through honest voice notes recorded in her own time, Shonalee shares what it's like to navigate motherhood after losing your mother, the ways her mother's influence continues to shape her parenting, and the truths that grief can never ta...
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  Episode 7: What Grief Doesn't Tell Us 21.07.2026 12min

  What happens after losing your mother? How does grief change the way you parent, make decisions, face fear, and see yourself? In this deeply personal episode of The Motherless Mother Podcast, I reflect on the unexpected ways grief has shaped my life since losing both of my parents—and what it means to navigate motherhood after losing your mother. This isn't a conversation about “getting over” grief. It's about the ways losing a parent can change you—your relationship with fear, your prioritie...
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  Episode 6: The Pregnancy I Never Imagined 14.07.2026 14min

  Motherhood was never part of my plan. For years, I was certain I wouldn't have children. Then, just weeks after my husband and I eloped, I discovered I was pregnant. A few weeks later, my mother discovered she had breast cancer. In the same season I was preparing to become a mother for the first time, I was also facing the possibility of losing my own. In this episode of The Motherless Mother, I share the story behind the pregnancy I never imagined and what it was like navigating pregnancy, b...
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  Episode 5: The Woman My Children Call Dra 07.07.2026 16min

  This week, you finally get to meet her. Her name was Lillian Scott. To my children, she was Dra. In this deeply personal episode of The Motherless Mother, I share the story of the woman who insisted nobody was going to call her “Grammy”—and then became the kind of grandmother who rearranged her life around the grandchildren she adored. Through memories of family dinners, surprise visits, breakfast stops before school, Ring Pops, swim-practice dreams, and the stories shared by my niece and nep...
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  Episode 4: The Versions of Me She Never Met 30.06.2026 13min

  Who have you become since your mother died? In this episode of The Motherless Mother Podcast, I reflect on the woman I've become since losing my mother—and the bittersweet realization that she will never meet the future versions of me still to come. Inspired by my parents' wedding anniversary, this conversation explores identity after losing your mother, motherhood after loss, faith, personal growth, and what it means to keep becoming while carrying the love of the woman who shaped you. For m...
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  Episode 3: Sometimes I Miss Being Someone's Child 23.06.2026 13min

  Sometimes I miss being someone's child. Not in a childish way. Not because I want fewer responsibilities or someone else to solve my problems. But because there was once someone in the world whose role it was to worry about me, check on me, notice when I was carrying too much, and remind me that I didn't have to hold everything alone. In this episode of The Motherless Mother Podcast, I reflect on one of the quieter realities of motherhood after losing your mother: what it means to become the ...
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  Episode 2: Apparently, We Become Our Mothers 16.06.2026 11min

  Have you ever heard yourself say something and immediately thought: “Oh no. That was my mother.” In this episode of The Motherless Mother Podcast, I explore one of the most unexpected parts of motherhood: realizing you're becoming like your mother—and discovering just how much of her lives on in you. From inherited phrases and familiar habits to instincts we never consciously learned, motherhood has a way of revealing the women who came before us. Sometimes becoming a mother helps us understa...
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  Episode 1: The Sundays That Help Me Understand My Mother 09.06.2026 12min

  In the first episode of The Motherless Mother Podcast, I reflect on an ordinary Sunday morning and the surprising ways motherhood after losing my mother has helped me understand her more deeply. For many motherless mothers, grief doesn't only show up during major milestones. It often appears in ordinary moments: preparing meals, managing family routines, carrying the invisible load of motherhood, and suddenly realizing how much our mothers were doing all along. This episode is about one of th...
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  Welcome to The Motherless Mother Podcast 08.06.2026 1min

  If you're navigating motherhood without your mother, you're in the right place. In this short trailer, host Tishka Moss shares the heart behind The Motherless Mother Podcast—a podcast for women navigating mother loss, motherhood after loss, and motherhood without the support or presence of their mothers. Maybe your mother has died. Maybe she's still here, but distance, illness, a complicated relationship or other circumstances have changed what her presence in your life looks like. Here, we t...