The SelfWork Podcast

Episod

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  507 SelfWork: How to Effectively Talk To A Perfectionist 17.07.2026 22min

  The subject for today is how to talk with a perfectionist about your concern for them. Or if you’re the perfectionist, how to allow someone into your world enough for you to hear that concern. I'll offer five definite approaches that work and you'll learn about the feedback loop that makes perfectionism addictive. Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
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  506 SelfWork: Therapy Harm: Straight Talk with Dr. Patricia Dixon 10.07.2026 39min

  Today psychologist and mental health advocate Dr. Patricia Dixon is shedding light on the often misunderstood concept of “therapy harm.” She explains what it is, how it can happen even with the best intentions, and why clients who experience it often struggle to speak up. We’re also going to focus on what’s called “colorism” - when fairer skin becomes an avenue toward privilege - and how she addresses that in her teaching and practice. Colorism happens in multiple cultures and is so important to legitimize as happening regularly. Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
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  505 SelfWork: What's The Most Recent News For Depression Sufferers in 2026? 03.07.2026 20min

  What's the most recent news for depression sufferers in 2026? That's the question Dr. Margaret researched today. Some new treatments are available now; some are still trying to get FDA approval. But there's a lot of promise out there, especially for what's termed treatment-resistant depression. There's also a new book out, Rethinking Suicide, that points out more recent research findings in suicide prevention. Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
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  504 SelfWork: Your Questions and Answers: Is Anorexia Back "In", Borderline Moms, and Mother/Son Enmeshment 26.06.2026 23min

  Dr. Margaret will focus today on questions and answers that listeners have sent her by either voicemail or email. First topic for today: Is anorexia back "in" as beautiful? Second: Why could you be allowing your mom (with borderline traits) to occupy such emotional space in your life? And third: If I'm openly sad when my son is getting ready to leave home, am I unintentionally setting him up to feel guilty? Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
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  503 SelfWork: Important Insights Into How to Interpret the Enneagram with Courtney Smith 19.06.2026 47min

  Our expert speaker is Courtney Smith, who's a coach, group facilitator, and consultant who works with individuals and Fortune 500 companies to achieve change. She is a renowned practitioner of the Enneagram personality system, which she teaches alongside other personal development tools. Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
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  502 SelfWork: The Medical and Mental Trauma of Chronic Invisible Illness with Amy Kurtz 12.06.2026 47min

  194 million Americans–more than 76 percent of the population–are living with chronic illness. Many eventually stabilize, but what happens when the body heals and you still don’t feel safe inside it? Patient advocate and health coach Amy Kurtz knows this gap in our healthcare system firsthand. Having gone to 36 doctors, she was already exhausted from that decades-long effort. Finally hearing the diagnosis of late-stage neurological Lyme disease with co-infections, and getting the right treatment, her labs had improved. But as her body began to stabilize, the fear didn’t fade. . It was her husband who finally named what she couldn’t: the illness may have receded, but the trauma hadn’t. What emerged from that conversation is her book that came out this week - BUT YOU LOOK FINE (Balance, June 9), an earnest guide to get through the dark tunnel of what she calls Medical Trauma Brain. Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
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  Introducing How To!: “How To Take Psychedelics for Your Mental Health with Dr. Will Van Derveer” 09.06.2026 44min

  This week we’re sharing a special episode from our friends at How To!, the 2026 Ambie Award-nominated “Best Personal Growth Podcast” that’s back with a new host and new topics to fuel your curiosity. Each week on How To!, award-winning journalist Mike Pesca tackles a listener’s question – on topics ranging from travel and finance to health and relationships – with help from world-class experts who actually know what they're talking about. Think of it as eavesdropping on someone else's therapy session, without the co-pay or awkward silence. And today, we’re sharing their recent episode “How To Take Psychedelics for Your Mental Health” where Mike interviews psychiatrist Dr. Will Van der Veer, a psychedelic researcher, and Myq Kaplan who has taken psychedelics for his mental health and other reasons. I love this episode because you get to hear a bunch of personal experiences of medical psychedelics and learn more about this emerging treatment for mental health conditions. And for more interviews like this, make sure to follow How To! on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. And tell them we sent you.Our Sponsors:* Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
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  501 SelfWork: Cultural Humility: What It Takes To Walk in Someone Else's Shoes 05.06.2026 22min

  Dr. Margaret focuses today on the vital importance of what’s termed “cultural humility” as she responds to a listener voicemail, pointing out that as she’s a white person, her advice comes from a place of privilege in the US. Do you have to have walked in someone else’s shoes, carried the same load as they have, lived a life very similar to theirs – to truly understand them? Or to offer something helpful to them? I received a very open and honest voicemail this week that addresses this question. Certainly. with the United States as keenly and at times violently divided as our citizens are, it might be hard to find anyone who’d answer “yes” to that question. Yet, when I think about the people I’ve seen through the years as a therapist, I’d hope that at least many – if not most – of them have walked out of my office feeling as if something has been lifted from them. Or that they’ve gleaned some type of perspective that’s helpful. Sometimes, my experience or style is not a good fit for someone, and I refer that person to someone who might be better. But I was very struck by this young woman’s comment and wanted to share with all of you. What follows is a discussion of the difference between cultural competence and cultural humility. Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
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  500 SelfWork: Paul Gilmartin On Healing from Maternal Sexual Abuse 28.05.2026 46min

  It’s a little hard to describe Paul Gilmartin. He's worked as a stand-up comic. He makes furniture. And he's a maternal abuse survivor. To add to that, he was one of the first hosts of the TBS show Dinner and A Movie. In fact, he hosted that show for years – and people still recognize him when he’s out and about! But his life has moved in many directions. Since 2011 however, he’s been the host of the Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast – where he interviews all kinds of people – occasionally a mental health professional. And he encourages folks on the podcast to be as honest as they’re ready to be – about things that many have a struggle with revealing. Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
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  499 SelfWork: Emotional Martyrdom: It's Different Than Self-Sacrifice 22.05.2026 22min

  Recently, I got a comment on the questionnaire blogpost on perfectly hidden depression - from a woman whose every word convinced me that there are too many people in the world who believe it's their job to keep everyone around them happy. So today we're going to look at what's termed emotional martyrdom. This could be you or someone you're in a relationship with. It can sound like, "It's my job to keep everyone happy, whether or not I am happy myself." Or, "Don't worry about me, I'm fine." Or, "I'm not hungry. Y'all go on and eat what's there and I'll see what's left." Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
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  498 SelfWork: Plastic Surgery: Understanding Its Psychological Side with Dr. Rady Rahban 15.05.2026 44min

  Today we're focusing on the psychological side of plastic surgery. This interview with renowned plastic surgeon Dr. Rady Rahban answers all your questions about the psychological side of choosing both reconstructive and plastic surgery. Understanding the motivations and emotional impacts of such decisions is crucial for anyone considering these procedures. The intersection of psychology and plastic surgery reveals much about our societal standards of beauty and self-acceptance. Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
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  497 SelfWork: What's The Current Controversy Over What "Licensed Mental Health Professional" Means 08.05.2026 24min

  Today we’ll focus on what it means to be a licensed mental health professional. How are coaches and influencers different from licensed mental health professionals? And how has the rise of therapists themselves online affected the social media culture, while unlicensed influencers are offering mental health advice? We'll focus on five major concerns of the online presence (and often persistence) of online 'therapists', be they the licensed kind, coaches, or unlicensed influencers, including the impact of licensed mental health professionals. Our listener voicemail is from a listener who herself has been diagnosed with BPD – and how she’s struggling with her adult child not being in her life. Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
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  496 SelfWork: Restorative Justice: Marlee Liss on Rape and Her Path to Healing 01.05.2026 46min

  (Note: We are focusing on sexual assault in this episode of SelfWork. If you have a history of sexual assault, please listen with care.) Today we're going to introduce you to the concept of restorative justice. Our guest today is Marlee Liss. You may not have heard of her, unless you closely follow what's happening in the justice system concerning sexual assault. But her voice is a strong one. As difficult and life-changing as her rape was for her, she describes the process of restorative justice as being equally healing and satisfying. Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
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  495 SelfWork: Grit: What It Takes to Fight Chronic Mental Illness 24.04.2026 26min

  Grit. What is it? How do you develop it? And how is it important for battling mental illness? And what role does it play in both outer success and inner victory? These are the questions we're going to answer today on SelfWork. Here's leading author Angela Duckworth 's definition of grit, described in her Ted talk. "Grit is passion and perseverance for very long-term goals. Grit is having stamina. Grit is sticking with your future, day in, day out, not just for the week, not just for the month, but for years, and working really hard to make that future a reality. Grit is living life like it's a marathon, not a sprint." Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
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  494 SelfWork: Masterclass: Befriending Your Inner Critic with Dr. Tara Cousineau 17.04.2026 42min

  In this episode, Dr. Margaret talks with Dr. Tara Cousineau about perfectionism and "befriending your inner critic." My guest today, Dr. Tara Cousineau, is an expert on perfectionism's treatment. She's a clinical psychologist, as well as a yogi and mom. And she's a staff psychologist at Harvard's Counseling and Mental Health Services. There are certainly a lot of perfectionists there. She's written a book, which I read cover to cover -The Perfectionist’s Dilemma: Learn the Art of Self-Compassion and Become a Happy Achiever. And it's wonderful. Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
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  493 SelfWork: Self-Love Empowers You and Leads to Self-Agency 10.04.2026 22min

  Today we're focusing on finding emotional stability and calm through self-love. Not narcissism – not grandiosity or some kind of over-the-top shouting to the world how great you are. But what exactly self-love is and what it can lead to is our focus. That's self-agency - the ability to act and to feel empowered to do so. Even though we live in a world that repeatedly suggests you can’t be happy or feel valuable if you don’t have a partner, or followers, or live in a certain neighborhood or wear certain clothes or be thin – or countless other things that we’re supposed to chase to prove our worth – if you love yourself – that’s internal. That’s not dependent on anyone or anything but you. Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
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  492 SelfWork: Revisiting Perfectly Hidden Depression 03.04.2026 23min

  In this episode, Dr. Margaret gives her best advice about enmeshment, Anne Burrell’s suicide, and perfectly hidden depression to those that have reached out to her in the past few months. And... my new workbook was published on April 1st and is now available to you! If your drive is driving you, if you have to keep people from sensing that you may struggle, if you're someone who keeps tight emotional control always... this workbook may be for you! Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
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  491 SelfWork: Friendships: How To Create and Keep Solid Connections 28.03.2026 40min

  Friendships are vital for your sense of well-being. When you know that you have people that you can count on to be there for you when you need them, who you feel solidly connected to. that knowledge can offer a kind of grounding that's unshakeable. Dr. Margaret invites Marisa Franco to SelfWork to discuss how she discovered this for herself, how friendships have provided her with steady caring and acceptance, and how she uses the science of attachment to help you understand how to create and keep friendships in your life. Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
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  490 SelfWork: How To Choose A Great Career and When To Change It 20.03.2026 48min

  Choosing a career is one thing. However, knowing if it's the right choice for you or if you need to consider other alternatives? That can be more difficult. In this enlightening episode, Dr. Margaret speaks with Ashley Stahl, the author of the best-selling book, You Turn: Get Unstuck, Discover Your Direction, Design Your Dream Career . They delve deep into the complexities of career choices and the transformative journey of discovering your true calling - one that more exactly fits with your core values. Throughout this conversation, listeners will gain invaluable insights on how to navigate these choices effectively and achieve outcomes that bring joy and fulfillment. Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
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  489 SelfWork: When Suicide Is A Brutal Shock 13.03.2026 42min

  Note: In this episode, Dr. Margaret talks with Penny Gray, who lost her husband to suicide. Please read/listen carefully. Here are international numbers of suicide hotlines. Suicide is hard for all, and horrific for others. Why? Because someone they loved died by suicide, and they were absolutely shocked. Not that suicide isn't always extremely hard on those that loved the person who took their own life. But when you suspect nothing... the emotions that come are hard to understand and accept. Whether you're a parent, a wife, a friend, a partner - the question of why they couldn't tell you what they were going through can haunt you. Maybe the concept of perfectly hidden depression can help. Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands