372 Pages We'll Never Get Back

Afleveringen

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  372 Pages #210 – Empress Theresa Ep 5 – What Happened to the Parkers??? 23.07.2026 2u 26min

  Support the podcast on Patreon and be the first to find out what we’re reading next! patreon.com/372pages The very last reading of Norman Boutin’s Empress Theresa DOES NOT DISAPPOINT! But, you ask, what happens to Steve Hartley? Does Jan Struthers become a successful wealth manager? President Martin – does he ever get prosecuted for attempting to murder a United States citizen? Is Prime Minister Blair able to keep his coalition together and maintain his office, or is he voted out? Israel: was their relocation successful? Does Pyongyang think it’s cool to have their country moved out into the ocean somewhere? Does OPEC continue? Does the oil exported from Theresa Isle ever go above five dollars per barrel? Do the thousands of silversmiths in the UK keep their lucrative jobs, or do the many new diamond merchants make them redundant? Last question: does anyone fall asleep for six-hundred years and awake to find that they are going to be ruled by a bunch of 10-year-olds who have their growth stunted but have the equivalent of a hundred college degrees? (If it helps, they’re all wearing multi-colored arm bands…) All these questions are answered, as are many others that no one even asked!
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  372 Pages #209 – Empress Theresa Ep 4 – Goodbye John, Stephanie and Jennifer. Heck, all the Parkers! 08.07.2026 2u 11min

  Support the podcast on Patreon to hear stuff you won’t hear anywhere else! Mailbags, Choose Your Own Adventure Streams, 280 Mysteries and more! https://patreon.com/372pages Just a few of the ideas this book attempts to tackle: An omnipotent entity transmitted to human beings by a fox. Eternal daylight. Tilting the axis of planet earth, i.e., eternal summer. A new Jewish state. Global price controls. Harvesting precious metals from the sun. Plywood. Purchased with help from butlers named Arthur. It’s nearly impossible to describe the insanity contained in this thing. It’s madness wrapped in delusion surround by lunacy. But somehow Mike still struggles with Real or Fanfic. READING ASSIGNMENT: Finish the book!
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  372 Pages #208 – Empress Theresa Ep 3 – Plywood and Water Columns. Oh, and a New Jerusalem. 24.06.2026 2u 32min

  Stop sending all your money to Steve in England, support the podcast on Patreon instead! patreon.com/372pages Is it a novel? Is it a manifesto? Is it the written equivalent of “score settling” for past grievances big and small? It’s all of these things and so much more! Puzzling, confounding, terribly written, way too long, sure: but coming up, we have it on the best of authority, our heroine plays quarterback in the Army/Navy game! READING ASSIGNMENT: Read through chapter 23.
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  280 Mysteries Ep 49 – The Case of the Oven Mitts w/ Bill Oakley 11.06.2026 55min

  Support the podcast on Patreon and get access to the entire 280 Mysteries catalog! https://patreon.com/372pages Legendary Simpsons writer, showrunner, and executive producer Bill Oakley joins us to discuss his new audiobook, “Space 1972” and attempt to solve a mystery for 11 year olds! Get Bill’s new audiobook Space 1972 on Audible or Amazon And of course you’ll want to listen to Space 1969 first (Audible / Amazon) And check out billoakley.com to see if one of his curated culinary events is coming to a town near you!
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  372 Pages #207 – Empress Theresa Ep 2 – Emperor Steve 15.05.2026 2u 37min

  This isn’t the first book we’ve covered about an attractive young woman who gets implanted with a dark matter / alien / ancient lifeform by a visiting fox, survives an assassination attempt (via atomic bomb) by the president of the United States, is rescued by UK sailors, befriends Prime Minster Blair, goes hat shopping with her lady in waiting, becomes a global celebrity, and vacations with her young, clock-building husband in Paris (which she hates) and Dublin (which she loves), and we’re certain it won’t be the last. Still, parts of it are unique and worth talking about. ASSIGNMENT: Read through chapter 18 (a longer read, but there’ll be a bit more time)
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  280 Mysteries Ep 22 – The Case of the Midnight Visitor 01.05.2026 21min

  Like listening to 280 Mysteries We’ll Never Get Back? There’s almost 30 more of them that are only on our Patreon! Sign up today: https://patreon.com/372pages This one’s an E. Brown mystery kindly sent in by listener John: is Mike smarter than a 10 year-old?
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  372 Pages #206 – Empress Theresa Ep 1 – Grandpa, no, No, NO, NOOO! 24.04.2026 2u 33min

  Support the podcast on Patreon to get every episode a week early and hear extra stuff you can’t get anywhere else! https://patreon.com/372pages Get the book here It’s finally here: a book that’s not Mayor of Noobtown! This is the inaugural episode of our new book Empress Theresa by Norman Boutin, and as such, Mike is required to be tested by the crucible of Real or Fanfic. It’s… well… you’ll have to listen. If, for some insane reason, medical or otherwise, you weren’t able to read Super Constitution, this is probably going to get you 90% of the “manifesto” nature of that with roughly twice the entertainment value (just back of the envelope calculations.) Watch the horse ad here ASSIGNMENT: Read thru Chapter 10
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  372 Pages – #205 – Book 38: Empress Theresa 13.04.2026 30min

  Support the podcast on Patreon where you get every episode a week early and have access to a whole bunch of other stuff you can’t get anywhere else! patreon.com/372pages Before we get to the meat and potatoes of it, Conor is challenged with a quiz from Mike. It’s quite a turnaround and is utterly un-skippable! READING ASSIGNMENT: Read through chapter 5. Get the book here, but only click AFTER you’ve listened!!
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  372 Pages – #204 – Mayor of Noobtown Ep 4 – Hero Work from Mike and Conor! 26.03.2026 2u 45min

  Be the first to find out what we’re reading next by supporting the podcast on Patreon! patreon.com/372pages As any hero would say, without looking back at the smoking ruins / nearly dead enemy / exploding spaceship, “It’s over. It’s finally over.” It’s true: you can remove your hands from in front of your eyes and take out your earplugs: The Mayor of Noobtown is no more. It’s in distinguished publisher HarperCollins’ hands now.* BUT, before we leave, we spend an inordinate amount of time dissecting the humor, the pathos, the… sharts that have made this such a poignant read. There are Dumb Sentences as well. *Other authors they have published: Jane Austen, Charles Dickens, Richard Wright, Mark Twain, the Brontë sisters, Margaret Wise Brown, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King Jr., C.S. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkien, E.B. White, Herman Melville…
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  372 Pages – #203 – Mayor of Noobtown Ep 3 – Chalk Full of, seriously, GOURDS! 12.03.2026 2u 24min

  Support the podcast on Patreon, where you get every episode a week early and a ton of other stuff that’s only available for supporters! https://patreon.com/372pages Just one more reading of distinguished publisher Harper Collins’ soon-to-be runaway smash best seller The Mayor of Noobtown (featuring, so far, Jim, Shart, AltaVista, JoeBob, Ted Goblin and Jerry Wolf)! If you have been reading along (and if so, in the words of Jim Downey, “May God have mercy on your soul.”) then you’re already aware of the tack sharp humor of the author. But on the very remote chance that you aren’t reading along, Conor and Mike really drill down and circle back on the whole humor aspect. Also, Mike’s last stab at Real or Fanfic (it’s a doozy!) plus Dumb Sentences of the Week. Reading Assignment: Finish the book!
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  280 Mysteries Ep 21 – The Case of the Angry Cook 25.02.2026 16min

  There’s a whole bunch more of these only on our Patreon! Go check it out: https://patreon.com/372pages Conor v. Donald J. Sobol. Two men enter. Only one will leave.
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  372 Pages – Ep 202 – Mayor of Noobtown Ep 2 – Raise a Glass of Shadow God Blood! 17.02.2026 2u 20min

  Level up in: Supporting the podcast on Patreon! https://patreon.com/372pages If you are reading along – and we’re gonna go ahead and assume you’re reading along – you’ll know that Conor and Mike are going discuss character sheets at great length. You could listen to an entire series of podcasts about character sheets and still not hear as much discussion of character sheets as you’ll get in this episode. Also lots of talk about doo-doo and wee-wee. Plus an EXTREMELY controversial episode of Real or Fanfic! READING ASSIGNMENT: Read through chapter 17, won’t you? Read Jacob’s Chronotrigger paper here
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  280 Mysteries Ep 20 – The Case of the Dwarf’s Beard 06.02.2026 16min

  Listen to the entire 280 Mysteries archive and take part in fun exclusives like our Choose Your Own Adventure livestream with John Hodgman, only on the 372 Patreon! https://patreon.com/372pages Can Conor crack the case of The Dwarf’s Beard? If you don’t say yes Sally is gonna sock you one real good!!
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  372 Pages – Ep 201 – Mayor of Noobtown Ep 1 – Hope You Like Numbers 1 and 2! 28.01.2026 2u 38min

  Don’t wanna be a NOOB? Then support the podcast on Patreon! Get every episode a week early plus other stuff we don’t post anywhere else! https://patreon.com/372pages Ah, literature. Set your mind on higher things. Assuming that doo-doo and wee-wee are higher things. ‘Cause there’s a lot of it in a scant few chapters. And speaking of scant few chapters, Mike and Conor found enough in them to talk for nearly three hours! However, in that time they managed to cram in your Dumb Sentences and Mike had time to consider your Real or FanFic submissions. Assignment: Read thru Chapter 14
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  280 Mysteries Ep 19 – The Case of the Wagon Master 21.01.2026 15min

  Listen to the entire 280 Mysteries archive and get every episode of the podcast a week early, only on our Patreon! https://patreon.com/372pages It’s like we’ve always said here at 372 Pages, it’s about time someone took a real hard look at Wagon Masters! I don’t trust them. Never have. And this Encyclopedia Brown mystery really puts a period on that sentence. Listen to see if Mike can crack the case and match the 10 year-old.
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  372 Pages – Ep 200 – Book 37: The Mayor of Noobtown 16.01.2026 36min

  Is there a genre we at 372 Pages have not covered? Oh, yes. Yes there is. Join us as we dive into the wildly popular world of LitRPG and our latest book The Mayor of Noobtown Buy the book here Assignment: Read thru Chapter 7
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  280 Mysteries Ep 18 – The Case of the Stolen Confederate Stamps 09.01.2026 18min

  Listen to the whole 280 Mysteries archive, that’s over 40 episodes, on our Patreon! patreon.com/372pages Mike and Conor almost wanted to recuse themselves from this particular Encyclopedia Brown mystery because they both have stolen a LOT of Confederate stamps. Like, a lot. The Feds, Interpol, many organizations are seeking them out. Still, they came out of hiding to present you with this ep.
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  372 Pages #199 – Owl Be Home for Christmas – Ep 2 – O Little Town of DEATH-lehem! 29.12.2025 2u 18min

  Support the podcast on Patreon and be the first to find out what we’re reading next! patreon.com/372pages How still we see thee DIE! Above thy CREEP (ahem Sharnek) and dreamless sleep the silent Scrumptious Scotch BARS go by. Yet in thy dark streets DIE-eth the everlasting FIGHT (with the suspect); the hopes and fears of all the BEERS (which are presumably served at the shady bar next to where Holly the professional dogwalker lives) are met in thee tonight. You get the point. This Cozy Christmas Murder ain’t goin’ anywhere we didn’t expect it to. Although! I have many questions about Owl Protective Services that aren’t addressed in the book. (Please email me, michael j nelson, separately and we can enter into a discussion.) Get the book here
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  372 Pages #198 – Owl Be Home for Christmas – Ep 1 – Julius Pringle Put Cherries in His Wife’s Christmas Cake, Obviously!! 17.12.2025 2u 37min

  Thanks to everyone who supported the podcast on Patreon this year. Join the fun and get a whole bunch of stuff you can’t hear anywhere else: https://patreon.com/372pages Ok, let’s tally up the cozy: Christmas beanies. Hot chocolate. Candy canes. Matching sweaters with cute doggo. Sentient owl. Butts. Poop. Murdered senior — all right, look! Maybe it’s not all cozy! Still, this is Full Fork, so I expect they will back up the cozy truck before too long. As it is, the Real or Fanfic somehow doesn’t work out that well for Mike, however Dumb Sentences of the Week seem to right the ship. You be the judge. Also, here is Ein the Corgi licking yogurt off the back of a spoon Get the book here and then for next time, finish said book
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  280 Mysteries Ep 17 – The Case of the Hard Luck Boy 10.12.2025 19min

  Obviously you’re all thinking, “Donald Sobel wrote an Encyclopedia Brown Mystery about the 1993 Georgia Satellites song?! Weird. But very intriguing!” Sadly, no. This was written eight years prior to its release. The solution is utter madness.