Finding Mr. Height: The Podcast

Afleveringen

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  285. Moving In Together, Part 3 ft. Skyline 03.08.2026 48min

  Ali is joined by Skyline for part three of the moving-in-together series, and this time he is in the chair to answer for the version Ali told solo in parts one and two. They get into whether a 50/50 split actually feels fair, the CFO and CTO roles they have each fallen into, how they divide the chores nobody wants (yes, the litter trade), what it has really been like merging two independent lives into one apartment, and the cats quietly becoming "ours." They also take two listener questions: what to do when you and your partner keep different bedtimes, and how they landed on their sides of the bed. Plus a ring update: it is finalized, and Skyline confirms a proposal is "in the works." No details, and Ali is keeping herself in the dark on purpose.This week's Media Mention: a TikTok from Beeing (@beeing.app) on the "re-entry," the idea that the first few minutes after you walk in the door set the tone for the whole night.But first, the two open mid-crisis. They woke up on recording morning to a leaking HVAC unit and soaked floorboards (briefly mistaken for a Logan incident, though he is otherwise six days pee-free), then recap their first-ever "frolic day," a choose-your-own-adventure day around Brooklyn run entirely by Instagram poll.Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqsIf you'd like to hear Ali's personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more...join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheightThanks to this week's partners:Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmhLosers Part 1 & 2: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comOur Sponsors:* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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  284. Decentering Men When You're Already Partnered ft. Sam Showalter 27.07.2026 1u 13min

  Ali is joined by creator Sam Showalter, who went viral for a series about decentering her own husband. Eleven years into a relationship with her now-husband, she realized how much invisible mental load she was carrying that had nothing to do with him, from tracking whether he'd eaten lunch to rushing home from the gym by 6pm so she'd be available when he logged off… In January, she decided to stop cold turkey. She and Ali get into the concrete before-and-afters, the shame high-achieving women carry about doing this at all, the backlash she got from both men and women online, and what actually changed after six months: her anxiety plummeted, the resentment lifted. And as she backed off, her husband leaned in, leaving space for both of them to be full people.In Updates, it was a stressful week. Logan started peeing outside the litter box, which sent Ali & Skyline into a worried-cat-parent spiral and a round of vet tests. Good news, nothing medically wrong, just an angsty boy who takes after his mama. But it did bring up some memories of how her cats factored into past relationships and what she may be bringing forward from that. She also reflects on adult friendship after a dinner with two other couples, and the quiet pride of realizing she'd met every person at that table in the last two years.This week's Media Mention, alongside Sam's TikTok, is a Psychology Today piece by Dr. Michele Leno, "How to Decenter Men and Still Date," on dating from clarity instead of fear. Found here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mind-matters/202602/how-to-decenter-men-and-still-dateWhere to find Sam: On Instagram @sammyshowalter, and on TikTok @thesam_show.Timestamps: Sam joins us at around minute 24.Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqsIf you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight .Thanks to this week’s partners:Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmhLosers Part 1 & 2: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comOur Sponsors:* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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  283. Moving In Together, Part 2: The Emotional Side of Sharing a Home 20.07.2026 41min

  We're continuing the multi-part moving-in series inspired by listener questions. In part two, Ali gets into the stuff you can't put in a spreadsheet: sharing a space with another person, protecting alone time when you live together, merging two homes' worth of stuff, and picking your battles (except of course when it comes to toilet paper direction). She reflects on what nine months of living with her partner actually taught her, why needing solo time is maintenance for a relationship rather than a rejection of it, and how two people can look at the same room and honestly not see the same mess.And if you want an even deeper dive, this week's AMA on the Patreon answers a listener whose partner pushed back on having the pre-move "ground rules" conversation, and the cohabitation bonus storytimes are up there too, at Patreon.com/findingmrheight.This week there are two Media Mentions: HuffPost's "Why Some Happy Couples Choose To Sleep In Separate Bedrooms" by Kelsey Borresen, on why protecting each person's space and sleep can protect the relationship, and Psychology Today's "When Partners Have Different Levels of Cleanliness" by Marisa T. Cohen, PhD, on why clashing standards of clean are two different thresholds, not a character flaw.Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqsIf you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight .Thanks to this week’s partners:Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmhLosers Part 1 & 2: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comOur Sponsors:* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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  282. Moving In Together, Part 1: Money, Chores, and the Mental Load 13.07.2026 47min

  We’re talking all about moving in with a partner in this multi-part series I inspired by listener questions. In part one, Ali breaks down the practical side of moving in with a partner: splitting expenses, navigating one partner moving into the other’s home, divvying up housework, and more. She reflects back on the episode recorded with Skyline before he moved in, and what’s changed (or hasn’t) since: how they landed on an expense split, the expense-tagging system they built instead of a joint account, and a framework for tackling chores and the mental load by sorting every household task as “required” versus “desired” and assigning clear ownership.In Updates, Ali shares that she’s documenting a new therapy journey on the Patreon, and reflects on being offline over the holiday weekend following a death in the family. Speaking of the Patreon, you can hear the cohabitation bonus episodes mentioned there at Patreon.com/findingmrheight!This week’s Media Mention is: Fair Play by Eve Rodsky, the book that gives language to the invisible, unequally split labor of running a home.Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqsIf you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight .Thanks to this week’s partners:Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmhLosers Part 1 & 2: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comOur Sponsors:* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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  281. Why Self-Sufficient Women Are Still Codependent ft. Esin Pinarli 06.07.2026 1u 2min

  Esin Pinarli, a psychotherapist with 18 years of experience, joins Ali to talk about people-pleasing, attachment, and what she calls modern codependency. Esin breaks down the unspoken childhood contracts we sign without realizing it, and how codependency shows up today in high-achieving, self-sufficient women who would never picture themselves as the "lost yourself in a relationship" type. The conversation also includes a refresher on the four attachment styles and the wheel of attachment, the anxious-avoidant dance, deactivating strategies, and how you actually earn your security over time through small, repeated choices.In Updates, Ali survives a brutal New York heat wave and starts a new running list with Skyline: bars that have way better food than they deserve to have, kicking things off with Abe's Pagoda in Bushwick.This week's Media Mention is creator Sam Showalter (@thesam_show on TikTok), whose series on decentering her husband tied in perfectly to the conversation about modern codependency.Sam’s video Ali mentionsWhere to find Esin: On Instagram @esinpinarli_lcsw and at www.eternalwellnesscounseling.com.Timestamps: Esin joins us at around minute 17.Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqsIf you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight .Thanks to this week’s partners:Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmhLosers Part 1 & 2: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comOur Sponsors:* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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  280. Live a Longer Lonely Life: What Tech Is Actually Doing to Connection ft. Alex Wolf 29.06.2026 53min

  Alex Wolf, the founder behind the original Boss Babe movement turned tech philosopher, joins Ali to explore what the attention economy is quietly doing to our ability to connect with each other, including romantically. The conversation covers why "just delete the app" misses the point entirely, why the speed of technology adoption is the real problem, and how dating apps have the same design problem as social media: they weren't built to facilitate actual connection. The two also chat about dead internet theory, what cobras have to do with your match count, and why it seems increasingly impossible to go back to anything analogue.This week's Media Mention is "What Is the Dead Internet Theory?" from Built In, exploring how bots and AI-generated content now make up the majority of internet activity and what that means for the way we connect with each other online, including on dating apps.Dead Internet Theory linkWhere to find Alex: On Instagram @alexwolf, on TikTok @alexwolftiktok, and on Substack at www.alexwolf.substack.com . Timestamps: Alex joins us at around minute 15.Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqsIf you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight .Thanks to this week’s partners:Losers Part 1 & 2: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comBilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmhOur Sponsors:* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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  279. Hot Topics #23: First-Time Manager Nerves, Single Mom Dating Apps, Timeline Anxiety, Dating Burnout, and the Talking Stage 22.06.2026 38min

  Ali answers five listener questions that all share a common thread: the gap between wanting something and being able to follow through. A first-time manager grappling with imposter syndrome, a single mom navigating kid disclosure on the apps, someone processing timeline anxiety after leaving a relationship, a dater hitting a wall with the performance exhaustion of first dates, and someone three weeks deep in a texting situation who can't figure out how to suggest meeting up.Patreon episode on being a good managerIn Updates, Ali shares a recent impromptu date night that encapsulated what she loves about NYC - and then got reinforced at a Jimmy Eat World with an epic city background. Plus, a girls weekend is in full effect and ring shopping has come to a close!This week's Media Mention is: "Survey Data Show We're Now in a Dating Recession" from Psychology Today, by Dr. Theresa DiDonato, which found that most young adults want relationships but aren't dating, citing low confidence, app disillusionment, and fear of rejection as the biggest barriers.Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqsIf you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight .Thanks to this week’s partners:Losers Part 1 & 2: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comBilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmhOur Sponsors:* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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  278. Listener Storytime: Rebuilding Intimacy After Desire Faded 15.06.2026 45min

  This week, Ali is joined by Sarah, a listener who reached out to share her journey with desire and intimacy. Sarah opens up about how her health anxiety quietly muted her desire for sex until she sought out a specialized sex therapist, and how that work helped her reframe arousal, communicate with her husband, and rebuild a sex life that works for both of them. They also touch on practical tools that helped Sarah in her work, including the book “Women on Top” by Nancy Friday and try the Unbound Intimacy Deck for cards like Sarah describes.This week's Media Mentions are two podcast episodes. The first is from The Sexology Lab, where Dr. Laurie Mintz and Dr. Suzette Johnson discuss how SSRIs and SNRIs can impact arousal, desire, and orgasm. The second is from Doing It Together, hosted by Janna Denton-Howes, where she and her husband talk through how anxiety shows up differently for each of them in their sex life.In Updates, Ali talks about a solo dinner out, the Knicks' playoff run, a 100-degree park-hopping day that ended at a concert aimed at her teenage heart, and a quiet weekend ahead with Skyline at Bonnaroo.Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqsIf you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight .Thanks to this week’s partners:Losers Part 1 & 2: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comBilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmhOur Sponsors:* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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  277. What If the Best Dating Profile Was Written by Your Best Friend? ft. Brooke Janousek 08.06.2026 53min

  TW: This episode contains a brief discussion of cancer and loss. If you want to skip it, the guest segment begins at approximately minute 13.Brooke Janousek, founder of Someone You Should Meet, joins Ali to make the case for letting the people who know you best do the talking. Brooke and Ali dig into why apps fail to capture who people actually are, the courage gap between professional and personal life, and what inspired Brooke to start hosting in-person dating events (hint: it was attending a lackluster one herself). The two also chat about what it’s like to finally walk away from a situationship that isn’t working, and how that comes back to the frustrations of dating overall.But first, Ali shares how a personal health scare had her reflecting on how losing her dad to cancer impacts her relationship with her health today (particularly as it was happening on his birthday). This week's Media Mention is: "The Terror of Survivorship" from Laura Behnke's Substack, which dives into that very theme.Where to find Brooke: On Instagram @someoneyoushouldmeet, on TikTok @sysmofficial, at www.someoneyoushouldmeet.com.Timestamps: Brooke joins us at around minute 13.Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqsIf you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight .Thanks to this week’s partners:Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmhOur Sponsors:* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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  276. Ali’s Guide To Getting The *Right* Job Offer (Parts 1 & 2 of 3) 01.06.2026 1u 15min

  You're being interviewed, but you're also doing the interviewing. Most people forget the second part. Ali shares two episodes from the Finding Mr. Height Patreon in this special re-air, covering the interview process from both sides of the table. Part one is a practical guide to vetting a company before you accept an offer: how to use Glassdoor beyond the surface level, what LinkedIn can tell you about turnover patterns, how to interview your interviewer, and more. Part two covers your side of the table: how to tell a coherent, compelling story about your career, how to answer questions with real specificity instead of canned talking points, and why the questions you ask can say just as much about you as the answers you give.Part three of this series is available now on the Patreon at patreon.com/findingmrheight, along with AMAs, monthly live episodes, the Discord community, and more bonus content every week. This week's Media Mention is: "What's Your Interviewing Style?" from HBR IdeaCast (Harvard Business Review), featuring author and former corporate recruiter Anna Papalia.Media Mention link: Harvard Business Review What's Your Interviewing Style?Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqsIf you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight .Thanks to this week’s partners:Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmhOur Sponsors:* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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  275. When You Outgrow the Life You Built ft. Sarah Vacchiano 25.05.2026 52min

  This week, Ali sits down with Sarah Vacchiano, author of Soft Launch, who got married at 21, divorced at 27, and moved to New York City to start over from scratch. Sarah shares what it felt like to leave a marriage that looked fine on the outside, how she navigated a world she’d skipped the entry points to, and what it took to finally build an identity that was genuinely hers. She remarried at 37, and the conversation gets into what was fundamentally different about love on the other side of all that work.This week’s Media Mention is Bumble’s announcement that they are scrapping the swipe and dropping the women-message-first rule. CEO Whitney Wolfe Herd calls what’s coming “revolutionary” but has yet to say exactly what it is (though Ali has a guess).Where to find Sarah: On Instagram @sarahmvacchiano and at www.sarahvacchiano.com.Grab Sarah's Book "Soft Launch" here: https://www.sarahvacchiano.com/Timestamps: Sarah joins us at around minute 13.Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqsIf you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight .Thanks to this week’s partners:Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmhOur Sponsors:* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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  274. Listener Storytime: When Staying Felt Safer Than Leaving 18.05.2026 44min

  TW: This episode includes discussion of grief, miscarriage and emotional abuse.This week, Ali is joined by a listener who shares her story of leaving a marriage rooted in cultural pressure, low self-worth, and years of emotional abuse. The conversation covers the internal voice she ignored while engaged, the compounding grief that finally pushed her out the door, and what it's looked like to rebuild on the other side.This week's Media Mention is a video by @zkiaba on TikTok, where she pushes back on the idea that men are in a social crisis, arguing that what we're seeing is the first generation of men experiencing life without systematic advantage.In Updates, Ali is recording live from Greece on her ninth group girls trip with FMH Travel.Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqsIf you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight .Thanks to this week’s partners:Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmhOur Sponsors:* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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  273. Two Years In: The Anniversary Episode ft. Skyline 11.05.2026 57min

  Ali and Skyline are celebrating two years together! Together from Italy, they go deep on what two years actually looks like, covering how they handle disagreements, how intentional they've been about the relationship and whether that was by design or just who they are, what they've each learned about themselves through the relationship, and what surprised them most about each other along the way. Plus, listeners ask about their couple identity, the little habits that make each other smile, where things are headed next, and which annoying habits irk each other the most. But first, the two recap highlights and a few hiccups from their trip to Italy, sadly coming to an end!Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqsIf you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight .Thanks to this week’s partners:Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmhOur Sponsors:* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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  272. Designing a Life That Fits ft. Danielle McGeough 04.05.2026 51min

  Danielle McGeough joins Ali to talk about what happens after you hit the goal you've been chasing your whole career and realize it doesn't feel the way you thought it would (and how this relates to dating!). Danielle, a professor and creator of the RISE Ritual Method, unpacks the difference between burnout and demoralization, why habits alone won't get you out of a hollow season, and how to design rituals that actually move you from where you are to where you want to be.In Updates, Ali and Skyline are officially in Europe, one night into a trip to Italy where they'll also be recording their two-year anniversary episode. Listener questions for that episode are still open!This week’s Media Mention is: Something Different DC, an Instagram account running creative events in Washington, D.C. It’s a great reminder that meeting people off the apps is possible in unusual places!Where to find Danielle: On Instagram @plangoalplan and at www.plangoalplan.com.Take Danielle's "Stuck" assessment here: https://www.plangoalplan.com/stuckTimestamps: Danielle joins us at around minute 9.Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqsIf you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight .Thanks to this week’s partners:Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmhOur Sponsors:* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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  271. Dating Burnout and the Patterns Behind It ft. Jordanne Sculler 27.04.2026 58min

  Jordanne Sculler, licensed therapist, joins Ali to talk about dating burnout from the inside out. Rather than pointing to apps or circumstances as the culprit, Jordanne breaks down the internal patterns that are really driving exhaustion in dating, including the productivity trap of treating dating like a to-do list, people-pleasing and self-abandonment, and what it actually looks like to break a cycle that isn't working. The conversation gets practical with Jordanne's "do something different" framework, and Ali shares her own experience recognizing these patterns in both dating and long-term relationships.In Updates, Ali shares a scam alert after coming dangerously close to being scammed in a two-part scheme. She also recaps a big week of consulting wins, a full-circle alumni event at her school's centennial celebration, and a return to the bar where she met Skyline two years ago.This week's Media Mention is @blussomly on TikTok and Instagram. Her name is Luise, she has a master's in psychology, and her content is built around teaching the psychology behind stoicism in an accessible, applicable way. Her series "stoicism but make it cute" is worth a full deep dive, and the video Ali references, about the gap between expectation and reality and the difference between something being different versus wrong, is pinned to her Instagram.Where to find Jordanne: On Instagram @jordannesculler and at www.jordannescullerlmhc.com.Timestamps: Jordanne joins us at around minute 20.Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqsIf you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight .Thanks to this week’s partners:Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmhOur Sponsors:* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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  270. The Relationship Advice You Inherited Might Be Wrong ft. Monica Tanner 20.04.2026 1u 13min

  Marriage coach Monica Tanner joins Ali to challenge the unwritten rulebook most of us absorbed about relationships without ever questioning it. Monica, the author of Bad Marriage Advice, breaks down why a lot of the advice well-meaning people pass down is not just unhelpful but actively working against us. The conversation covers why "never go to bed angry" is a recipe for sleep deprivation, what it actually means to teach your partner how to treat you, and why compromise is not always the goal. Ali also shares her own examples from her relationship with Skyline.In Updates, Ali reflects on her ongoing curly hair journey and an unexpected emotional realization it triggered, shares a story about a college situationship she had completely forgotten about, and celebrates two years with Skyline, including a special anniversary dinner.This week's Media Mention is "4 Styles of Cleaners" by Amanda Dodson (@nestingyourlife on TikTok), a framework for understanding where you and your partner fall on the tidy/cluttered and sanitized/natural spectrums, and why it matters more than you think for cohabitation.Where to find Monica: On Instagram @monitalksmarriage and at www.monicatanner.com.Grab Monica's book "Bad Marriage Advice: ​Debunking Myths That Will Make You Miserable and What To Do Instead" here: https://www.badmarriageadvice.com/get-the-bookTimestamps: Monica joins us at around minute 29.Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqsIf you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else, as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more, join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight.Thanks to this week’s partners:Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmhOur Sponsors:* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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  269. Interdependence, Earned Security, and the Art of Being Unsingle ft. Amy Chan 13.04.2026 1u 3min

  Amy Chan returns to the pod for an in-person recording with Ali, a conversation spurned from her own deep attachment work. The two chat about Amy’s new book Unsingle, where she leverages her personal experiences to help you identify your recurring patterns in relationships. The two get into why you keep choosing the same person in a different body (and how to actually change that), the mechanics of dating from first swipe to long-term commitment, and what healthy interdependence looks like.In Updates, Ali shares a packed couple of weeks including a Broadway show, an intentionally unplanned weekend with Skyline, and a healing curly hair journey that’s going swimmingly.This week's Media Mention is: "Portfolio Careers Are Meant for Generalists" from On Work by Shaina Anderson (Substack), shared by past guest Miriam Tinney on Instagram.Where to find Amy: On Instagram @missamychan, on TikTok @missamychan, at www.missamychan.com.Pre-Order Amy's book "Unsingle How to Date Smarter and Create Love That Lasts" Here: https://missamychan.com/unsingle/Timestamps: Amy joins us at around minute 24.Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqsIf you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight .Thanks to this week’s partners:Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmhOur Sponsors:* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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  268. Listener Storytime: Building a Full Sex Life on Your Own Terms 06.04.2026 53min

  This week, Ali sits down with Julia, a listener who shares her experience discovering that vaginal sex just doesn't work for her body. She walks through how that shaped her early dating experiences, including a two-and-a-half year situationship, and what it was like to tell her current partner. They get into why penetration isn't the gold standard of sex, how societal expectations create feelings of unworthiness, and what it looks like to build a full and satisfying sex life on your own terms.In Updates, Ali shares about her birthday week, including her first dry curly cut, a birthday party, and her mom being in town for all of it.This week's Media Mention is allll about the Summer House drama that’s unfolded over the last week, and specifically the racial dimension of the situation and what it reflects about the experience of dating as a Black woman.Vote on our 2027 FMH Travel destinations at https://tinyurl.com/fmh2027tripsAsk questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqsIf you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight .Thanks to this week’s partners:Armoire: Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMHBilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmhOur Sponsors:* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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  267. The Deeper Pattern Beneath Your Dating Life ft. Meg Tuohey 30.03.2026 56min

  Relationship coach and author Meg Tuohey joins Ali to introduce her concept of the HeartPrint, the idea that each of us is as unique as our fingerprints in how we move through the world and relate to others. Meg breaks down why frameworks like attachment styles and love languages, while helpful, can only take us so far, and how real self-knowledge requires a deeper, more individualized kind of attunement. The conversation covers why we're drawn to familiar patterns in dating even when they don't serve us, what it actually looks like to move from awareness to change, and how the walls we've built to protect ourselves can be honored without letting them define our future.In Updates, Ali reflects on a birthday week that started with grief and ended with omakase, and shares what she's been sitting with as she turns 39.This week's Media Mention is The Love Drive podcast, hosted by friend of the pod Shaun Galanos, specifically his March 17th solo episode, "When Shit Hits the Fan." Trigger warning: Ali shares a personal experience with sexual assault at 49:00 - 55:00.Where to find Meg: On Instagram @megtuoheyofficial, on TikTok @megtuoheyofficial, at www.megantuohey.com and on her podcast Wisdom Stripes. Grab Meg's book "HeartPrint: Unlock the Wisdom of You Here: https://megantuohey.com/megan-book-heart-print/Timestamps: Meg joins us at around minute 14.Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqsIf you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight .Thanks to this week’s partners:Armoire: Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMHBilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmhOur Sponsors:* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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  266. The NYT Tried to Give Us Dating Rules and We Have Notes ft. Darcy 23.03.2026 48min

  Returning guest and Ali’s good friend Darcy is back on the pod, and they’re diving straight into the New York Times' crowdsourced list of 35 dating rules. Some of them? Genuinely solid. Some of them? Completely unhinged. And several of them directly contradict each other, which is so indicative of modern dating. Topics include how people treat servers, outsourcing your nervous system to a partner, paying on dates, the pacing of physical intimacy, whether you actually need to like someone's friends, and a $75 first-date filet mignon story.Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqsIf you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight .Thanks to this week’s partners:Armoire: Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMHBilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmhOur Sponsors:* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy