THE MEN'S SELF HELP PODCAST

Afleveringen

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  Stop Musterbating Everywhere! 18.08.2026 22min

  Do you constantly tell yourself you should be doing better, that you must have everything figured out, or that life ought to be different? In this episode of The Men's Self-Help Podcast, Dr. John Moore explores the psychology of musterbation, a concept developed by psychologist Albert Ellis and central to Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). You'll discover how rigid self-talk can quietly fuel anxiety, guilt, anger, shame, and emotional exhaustion—and learn a practical three-step approach for challenging those destructive internal rules. You'll also hear from Matt, a listener who isn't sure he's ready to marry the woman he's been dating. Dr. John discusses the difference between outside pressure and genuine readiness, why unresolved conflict deserves attention, and how premarital counseling can help couples make one of life's biggest decisions with greater clarity. Whether you're struggling with perfectionism, relationships, or impossible expectations, this episode offers practical tools you can begin using today. Sponsor Today's episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Head to https://betterhelp.com/guycounseling to get 10% off your first month with our sponsor, BetterHelp. Therapy can be a meaningful space to reflect, grow, and create positive change in your life. Resources Mentioned Some of the links below are affiliate links. If you make a qualifying purchase through one of these links, Guy Counseling may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you for helping support the independent production of this podcast. ABC Model for REBT Worksheet (Therapist Aid) https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheet/abc-model-for-rebt Example Premarital Program Learn what couples typically discuss during a structured premarital counseling program, including communication, conflict resolution, finances, intimacy, family expectations, and future planning. Chicago Premarital Counseling Program Before You Say "I Do" by H. Norman Wright and Wes Roberts https://amzn.to/4fFApIJ Have a Question for the Podcast? Have a question you'd like me to answer on a future episode? Send it through the Guy Counseling contact form: https://guycounseling.com/contact-us/ If your question is selected, identifying details may be changed to protect your privacy, and it may be read using a synthesized voice. Support the Show – Buy Me a Coffee! If you're enjoying The Men's Self-Help Podcast and would like to help support its independent production, you can buy me a coffee here: https://buymeacoffee.com/mensselfhelp Disclaimer This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult a licensed professional for individualized support. Production Notes Written and produced by Dr. John Moore, with Joel Oliver (audio) and editorial contributors. Artwork by Adobe Firefly; sounds by Pixabay. Episodes may combine live recording, voice models, and synthesized audio for listener questions, production efficiency, and contributor privacy. 
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  There's Something in the Nothing 04.08.2026 14min

  Have you ever finally gotten a chance to relax—only to discover that you can't handle the quiet? In Episode 47 of The Men's Self-Help Podcast, Dr. John Moore explores why stillness can feel strangely uncomfortable in a world filled with notifications, headlines, endless scrolling, and constant demands for our attention. Drawing from a personal experience in Puerto Rico, Dr. John explains how repeated stimulation can leave the nervous system stuck on alert. Even when nothing is wrong, the brain may interpret quiet as unfamiliar—and therefore suspicious. You'll learn why the amygdala acts like a smoke alarm that sometimes struggles to distinguish a real emergency from everyday "burnt toast." You'll also hear about the brain's default mode network and the important work that may occur when you stop actively doing and allow your mind to settle. The episode also explores what contemplative traditions have understood for centuries: stillness is not empty. It can create room for memories to organize, emotions to surface, ideas to connect, and clarity to emerge. Dr. John concludes with one simple challenge: place your phone in another room and spend five minutes sitting in the nothing. When the restlessness appears, don't treat it as failure. Treat it as the repetition that helps teach your nervous system that quiet can be safe. Today's sponsor This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp offers online access to licensed therapists with experience in areas such as anxiety, depression, relationships, career concerns, and other challenges. Learn more and get started at: https://www.betterhelp.com/guycounseling This is an affiliate link. The Men's Self-Help Podcast may receive compensation when listeners use it. Recommended book Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics by Dan Harris As an Amazon Associate, Guy Counseling may earn from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you. Related Reading When nothing clearly dangerous is happening, anxiety can still make uncertainty feel like a threat. Calm Anxiety explains why anxiety can make safe situations feel dangerous and how avoidance, reassurance-seeking, and threat prediction can reinforce that response. From Calm Anxiety Clinic.  Want to help support the show? Buy Me a coffee! https://buymeacoffee.com/mensselfhelp Important disclaimer The Men's Self-Help Podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for psychotherapy, medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Dr. John Moore is not acting as your personal therapist through this podcast. Please speak with a licensed healthcare professional if you are experiencing concerns about your mental or physical health. Production note: Audio production assistance provided by Joel Oliver. Episode artwork generated with Adobe Firefly. Transition sounds provided royalty-free by Pixabay. This episode blends live-recorded audio with Dr. John Moore's own authorized voice model.
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  How to Build a Morning Routine That Actually Works 21.07.2026 25min

  Ever notice how some mornings seem to set the tone for your entire day? In this episode of The Men's Self-Help Podcast, Dr. John Moore explores what makes a healthy morning routine actually work—and why you don't need an elaborate, social media-worthy ritual to start your day on the right foot. You'll learn why your morning routine should focus on four essential goals: waking up your body, settling your nervous system, activating your mind, and directing your attention. Along the way, John shares practical ideas you can begin using immediately, whether you have an hour, thirty minutes, or just fifteen. You'll also hear why perfection isn't the goal, how to create a routine you'll actually stick with, and what to do when life inevitably throws your schedule off track. If you've been looking for a simple, realistic approach to building better mornings, this episode offers practical strategies grounded in psychology—not hype. In this episode you'll learn: Why most morning routines fail The four jobs every healthy morning routine should accomplish How to calm your nervous system before the day begins The difference between productive habits and performative routines How to create a morning routine you can actually maintain If you enjoyed this episode, please consider subscribing, leaving a review, and sharing it with someone who could use a better start to their day. Resources Mentioned Looking for a signature scent? Check out Dr. Moore's guide to Best Colognes for Men: 25 Popular Fragrances Worth Wearing. Looking for Mental Health Counseling? Check out Better Help Affiliate disclosure: The BetterHelp link above is an affiliate link. If you sign up through it, Guy Counseling may receive a commission at no additional cost to you. Production note: Audio production assistance provided by Joel Oliver. Episode artwork generated with Adobe Firefly. Transition sounds provided royalty-free by Pixabay. This episode blends live-recorded audio with Dr. John Moore's own voice model.
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  I'm Back: The Men's Self-Help Podcast Returns 16.07.2026 2min

  After a long break, The Men's Self-Help Podcast is coming back. In this brief return message, Dr. John shares why he stepped away, why he decided to return, and what listeners can expect going forward. New episodes will focus on men's mental health, relationships, emotional wellness, and practical tools you can actually use. The first full episode returns next week with a conversation about what to do when you feel yourself spiraling.
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  Encore: Is It Time To Take a Break from Social Media? 02.02.2022 33min

  This encore presentation explores the five signs you may need to take a break from social media.  Visit this link for show notes on the Guy Counseling blog.   
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  How to Stop Letting People Get Under Your Skin 12.01.2022 24min

  Do you struggle with people getting under your skin? Are you easily triggered by certain comments or topics? Hoping to create positive change? In this episode sponsored by Better Help, Dr. John explores how to stop letting people get under your skin. You'll hear about the story of Austin, a young man who lost his temper on a train. Discover approaches to counseling including EMDR and Internal Family Systems (parts therapy) as part of healing past wounds. Do you have an internal protector, deep inside, trying to keep you from the source of your hurts? If trauma and pain are part of your past, you'll want to listen to this episode. Important Links Use this link to get a special offer for listeners of the podcast with Better Help. Visit Good Therapy to learn about EMDR Link to episode 38 on how Karma wants your dreams to come true. Learn about Internal Family Systems (parts therapy). Helpful articles from one of the best anxiety therapist websites. Follow Dr. John on Social Media Guy Counseling on Instagram Guy Counseling on Facebook John's website and newsletter sign up
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  4 Keys To Changing Unhealthy Behaviors 29.12.2021 23min

  Are you trying to change an unhealthy behavior? Do you drink too much, eat too much or smoke too much? Is there a part of you who has come to realize your relationship with gambling, porn or shopping is toxic? In this episode of the Men's Self-Help Podcast, Dr. John explores the process of change and how using the REST technique may be helpful. REST is the acronym for RELAX, EXAMINE, SET YOUR INTENTION, and TAKE ACTION and it comes from the world of DBT or Dialectical Behavior Therapy. Learn how using REST may offer a powerful brain hack by allowing you to ease into creating change in your brain's pleasure center. Important Links Better Help – Show Sponsor To learn about the special offer for listeners of the Men's Self-Help Podcast, use this link Learn about DBT and a technique to help control anger. Listen to episode 33 to learn more about DBT. Help Guide on Addiction: A Harvard Health Article with a discussion about the brain's pleasure center and information about the nucleus accumbens as mentioned in the podcast. Click here to read the article Learn about positive psychology and how it can be used as part of counseling and coaching to help a person create change. Visit the Positive Psychology podcast. DBT Skills Workbook This workbook was mentioned in the pod. Visiting this link will brink you to Amazon. If you buy this book with this link, the podcast receives an affiliate commission. Click to go to Amazon. Follow Us on Social Media Click here to follow on Facebook Click here to follow on Instagram Click here to follow on Twitter  
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  5 Strategies To Find Your Purpose In Life 15.12.2021 17min

  Trying to discover your life purpose? Does it feel like your life lacks meaning? In this episode, Dr. John goes over five specific strategies to help you find yourself and your life purpose. Using a combination of story telling with insights from Carl Jung, you can find out new things about yourself and train your brain to stimulate your Reticular Activating System, the part of the brain that is concerned with awareness.  As part of the show, you'll also learn about a men's resource for generating inner-happiness and awareness around your purpose.  Finally, learn about the special guide Dr. John has put together as part of your self-care routine - for guys.   Important Links Click here for a special skin care guide for men, created by Dr. John Top 7 reasons men seek out therapy - Episode 37 Free personality assessment from 16 personalities. The Reticular Activating System from University of Minnesota The Daily Gratitude Journal for Men (Click here for Amazon) Other Links Guy Counseling on Instagram Guy Counseling on Facebook Dr. John's website and newsletter sign up
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  How To Reprogram Your Anxious Mind 01.12.2021 26min

  Do you feel your mind is wired for anxiety? Do you constantly worry about failing? Are you looking for concrete ways to create positive change? In this episode, Dr. John explores the relationship between your thoughts, your brain and anxiety. Discover why fight, flight or freeze can be so powerful. Learn several easy-to-use coping techniques for creating calm as part of reprograming your anxious mind. Resources Mentioned in Podcast Health Line Article on how some form of anxiety can be traced to a chemical imbalance.  Link To Episode 31: Comat Negative Self-Talk Link To Episode 35: How To Quickly Get Out of a Funk Link to Medical News Daily: Four Squared Breathing Book Suggestion Re-Wire Your Anxious Brain: How to Use the Neuroscience of Fear to End Anxiety, Panic and Worry. Visit Amazon Important Links: Panic Attack Treatment and Information from The Calm Anxiety CBT Therapy Clinic Show Notes – Guy Counseling Blog: www.guycounseling.com Sponsor: - Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/guycounseling Follow Us On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/guycounseling1
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  Karma Wants To Make Your Dreams Come True 17.11.2021 24min

  What is karma was working behind the scenes to make you happy? In this episode, Dr. John looks at the concept of pronoia, which is the opposite of paranoia and asks you to imagine what your life would be like if the universe was conspiring to make your dreams come true.  If you're feeling overwhelmed by the topics discussed today and are looking for professional guidance, help is available. At the Calm Anxiety Clinic specialized Anxiety Therapy in Chicago is available for those navigating the unique stressors of city life. Whether you need a local anxiety therapist for in-person sessions in the city or prefer virtual support, there is evidence-based approaches (CBT, ACT, EMDR) designed to help you find lasting relief. Important Links: Detailed Show Notes – Guy Counseling Blog: www.guycounseling.com Sponsor: - Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/guycounseling Follow Us On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/guycounseling1
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  7 Top Reasons Men Seek Out Therapy 03.11.2021 24min

  Have you ever wondered why some men seek out therapy? Are you in counseling now and curious to know if other guys are struggling with the same issues? In this episode, Dr. John reveals the top 7 reasons men go into counseling. As part of the show, he also answers a listener email from a man who has become dependent on using alcohol to become socially lubricated before going out on a date. Resources for Men Seeking Therapy: Find a Therapist for Online Counseling: www.betterhelp.com/guycounseling Find a Therapist in Chicago: If you're in the Chicago area, 2nd Story Counseling offers experienced therapists who specialize in men's mental health issues LGBTQ+ Affirming Care: For those seeking inclusive therapy options, visit our LGBTQ+ therapist directory Men's Mental Health Info: National Resource Center for Men's Mental Health: www.menshealthnetwork.org Crisis Support: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988 (call or text) Substance Use Support: SAMHSA National Helpline: 1-800-662-4357 Connect With Us: More Men's Mental Health Content: www.guycounseling.com Follow Guy Counseling on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/guycounseling1
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  7 Things Women Secretly Say About Men in Therapy 08.09.2021 23min

  Do you ever wonder what women say about men in therapy? What are some of the common themes that come up when it comes to men? Can knowing about some of these topics help you in your relationships? In this episode, Dr. John walks you through seven common themes that women touch on about men in the counseling office. Some of these may seem like common sense. Others may cause you to pause and reflect. You can use these topics to better help you understand the women in your life. This week's listener email comes to us from a man who is struggling with dating app fatigue and is tired of being rejected whenever he puts himself out there. Important Links: Show Notes – Guy Counseling Blog: www.guycounseling.com Men's Skin Care Guide: Men's Skincare Guide Made Simple Best Smelling Colognes for Men Follow Us On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/guycounseling1
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  How to QUICKLY Get Out of a Funk 25.08.2021 15min

  At some point, all of us fall into a funk. In this episode, I'm going to give you 7 of my tips for pulling yourself out of a funk BEFORE it turns into a rut! Learn how to help boost your mood quickly and create positive change. Episode infused with some of the teaching of Dr. William Glasser, the Father of Reality Therapy and Choice Theory. Show Notes on the www.guycounseling.com blog.  William Glasser Choice Theory  https://wglasser.com/what-is-choice-theory/ Loving Kindness Meditation Study https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM Information on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy All About CBT Therapy Follow us on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/guycounseling1/ Follow us on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/guycounseling/     
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  What If Positive Thinking Doesn't Work? 11.08.2021 21min

  Everyone knows positive thinking can be helpful, but what happens when it doesn't work? Can you make yourself feel worse by forcing happy talk? In this episode, Dr. John explores the downside to positive thinking and how trying to deny your feelings can be harmful. Learn about an alternative called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Also, you'll hear from a listener who describes himself as overweight and can't experience intimacy unless he's wearing a shirt. Important Links: Show Notes – Guy Counseling Blog: www.guycounseling.com Sponsor: - Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/guycounseling Follow Us On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/guycounseling1   
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  Preventing Anger From Turning Into Rage With DBT 28.07.2021 26min

  Do you suppress your anger? When you do express these feelings, do you blow up on people, like your partner, children, or coworkers? Looking for practical tools to create change? In this episode of the Men's Self-Help Podcast, Dr. John Moore will teach you two POWERFUL tools from the world of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) that can be used as coping strategies. Learn how to channel your anger into a discussion with the aim of getting your needs met. As part of the discussion, you'll also learn why anger is not a dirty word. This week's listener email comes from a man who is struggling with an inability to urinate in public places and isn't sure what to do. Learn about shy bladder syndrome, also referred to as paruresis. Important Links: Show Notes – Guy Counseling Blog: www.guycounseling.com Sponsor: - Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/guycounseling Follow Us On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/guycounseling1
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  What To Do When Your Partner Never Initiates Sex 14.07.2021 21min

  Do you have a partner who never initiates sex? Has this dynamic caused frustration or confusion in your relationship? In this episode of the Men's Self-Help Podcast, sponsored by BetterHelp, Dr. John explores the idea of "It's Always Been This Way" and how reframing the core question can create real change. You'll also hear from a listener who wants to know if it's OK to start dating someone he previously hooked up with on an app. If you're thinking about strengthening your relationship or building a healthier foundation, you might also find this resource helpful: Premarital Counseling in Chicago. Show notes are available on the Guy Counseling Blog. Follow on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/guycounseling1/ Follow on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/guycounseling/ Follow on Twitter: https://twitter.com/guycounseling
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  7 Ways To Combat Negative Self-Talk 30.06.2021 27min

  Do you struggle with negative self-talk? Has it caused you to derail? Hoping to learn how to combat it? In this episode, sponsored by Better Help, Dr. John Moore creates a metaphor with your mind being a train and how – if you aren't careful – your thoughts can act as objects that can lead to derailment. You'll learn 7 concrete ways from combatting negative thinking, plus several resources. You'll also hear from a listener who is having difficulties with adjusting to life as the pandemic eases. Re-entry anxiety and FOMO are discussed. Show notes for this episode can be found on the Guy Counseling blog. Show Notes - www.guycounseling.com Follow on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/guycounseling1    
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  Is Erotic Hypnosis Real? 16.06.2021 29min

  Show Notes: You may have heard of the term erotic hypnosis, but does such a thing exist? In this episode of the Men's Self-Help Podcast sponsored by Better Help, Dr. John explores the topic of hypnosis and offers listeners a working definition. He then moves on to explaining what erotic hypnosis is – and what it is not. Examples and resources are shared as part of the experience. You'll also hear a listener email from a man who is having problems with his libido. Resources Mentioned: For men exploring their sexuality and seeking affirming mental health support, 2nd Story Counseling offers LGBTQ+ therapy in Chicago with experienced therapists who understand the unique challenges facing the LGBTQ+ community. Additional resources on sexual health and mental wellness can be found through the American Psychological Association and Psychology Today's Therapist Directory. Show notes can be found on the Guy Counseling blog. Follow on Instagram @guycounseling1 Facebook --> https://www.facebook.com/guycounseling Twitter @guycounseling
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  7 Ways To Dial Down Perfectionism 04.06.2021 36min

  Struggling with perfectionism? Looking for practical ways to create change? In this episode, Dr. John Moore explores some of the causal reasons behind perfectionism, which are largely linked to early childhood. In addition, you'll be offered 7 straightforward ways to dial down perfectionism in your own life. As part of the show sponsored today by Better Help, you'll hear an email from a man who is feeling shame around his weight gain and wanting to exercise but isn't sure what to do. Visit the guycounseling.com website.  If you are in Chicago and looking for therapy and counseling on the nothside, consider 2nd Story Counseling.
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  7 Ways To Stop Obsessive Thinking 23.05.2021 29min

  Learn the signs and symptoms of obsessive thinking, also referred to as rumination. Click here to access shownotes with informational links for episode 28. You can also visit the show's website at guycounseling.com to access the shownotes.