Thrive While Loving an Addict | Addiction | Sobriety | Recovery | Relapse

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• What Sits Right Beside the Worst Thing That Ever Happened to You 30.06.2026 51min

  Healing from trauma rarely happens all at once. It unfolds over time, often in ways that are difficult to recognize while you're living through them. The journey beyond survival can be uncertain, filled with moments of growth, grief, and unexpected clarity.In Part 2 of this conversation, Jason Prokowiew returns to continue sharing his story. Building on the experiences explored in Part 1, he reflects on what came after the interviews with his father, the grief that followed his father's death, and the ongoing work of building a life beyond inherited trauma.Episode SummaryThis episode continues KL Wells' conversation with Jason Prokowiew, author of War Boys. After spending years trying to understand the effects of growing up in an alcoholic home shaped by generational trauma, Jason found himself facing a new chapter after recording more than fifty hours of conversations with his father and then losing him just months later.Together, KL and Jason explore what healing looks like after understanding begins. They discuss grief, difficult family decisions, the importance of recognizing personal strengths, and how purpose can gradually emerge alongside life's most painful experiences. This conversation offers an honest perspective on the ongoing nature of recovery and the possibility of building a meaningful life beyond survival.Key Discussion PointsHealing from trauma as a lifelong process rather than a single breakthroughReturning to old triggers years later and responding with greater awarenessListening to his father's recorded voice decades later and revisiting unresolved emotionsThe difficult decision to step away from family relationships that no longer supported growthEstrangement, grief, and making painful choices while honoring personal well-beingGrief as a companion to healing rather than evidence that healing has failedThe "emotional bank account" and the value of intentionally building positive experiencesDiscovering purpose alongside life's most painful experiencesLearning to recognize long-held survival skills as strengths rather than flawsViewing mental health as an ongoing journey instead of a destinationSome Questions I AskAfter your father passed away, how did you begin discovering who you were becoming?What did that conversation with your older siblings reveal about your own healing?Why was stepping away from your mother different from leaving other family relationships?What was it like hearing your father's voice again after twenty years?Do you believe your life's purpose sits alongside the most difficult experiences you've lived through?In This Episode, You Will LearnWhy healing from trauma often unfolds over many yearsHow old triggers can reappear even after significant personal growthThe emotional complexity of creating distance from unhealthy family systemsWhy grief and healing can exist at the same timeHow intentionally creating positive experiences can strengthen emotional resilienceThe difference between survival strategies and personal strengthsWhy understanding yourself may matter more than reaching a perfect destinationHow purpose can emerge from experiences that once felt only painfulResourcesWar Boys by Jason ProkowiewAvailable July 1, 2026Learn more about War Boyshttps://warboysbook.comAl-Anon Family Groupshttps://al-anon.orgNotable Insight From The Episode"What we are not going to do is pathologize our strengths."Jason recalls this powerful moment with his therapist as an invitation to reconsider qualities he had spent years viewing as flaws. Many of the traits developed while surviving difficult childhoods can become valuable strengths when they are understood, supported, and used with intention rather than driven by fear.About the GuestJason Prokowiew is a writer, storyteller, and author of War Boys, a father-and-son memoir exploring generational trauma, addiction, and healing through the lens of his family's history. His work traces his father's survival during World War II, the lasting effects of wartime trauma, and Jason's own journey toward understanding life in an alcoholic family.Drawing from his experiences with Al-Anon, storytelling, and years of personal reflection, Jason writes about resilience, identity, and the possibility of healing across generations. He has appeared on Stories from the Stage and has shared readings from War Boys through literary and educational communities.Connect With the GuestWebsitehttps://www.jasonwprokowiew.com/Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/jasonprokowiew/
• Two Wars: One His Father Fought, One Jason Lived In 16.06.2026 49min

  What does it take to understand a parent who hurt you?Not excuse them. Not justify what happened. Simply understand them in a way that helps make sense of wounds that have been carried for years.In this episode, KL Wells sits down with Jason Prokowiew, author of War Boys, to explore the lasting impact of addiction, generational trauma, and the possibility of finding healing through understanding.Episode SummaryJason Prokowiew grew up as the youngest of thirteen children in a Massachusetts family shaped by alcoholism, silence, and the lingering effects of war. His father survived extraordinary hardship as a child during World War II, carrying experiences of loss, displacement, and trauma that would continue to influence his family for decades.Together, KL and Jason explore what it was like to grow up in an alcoholic home, how childhood survival strategies followed him into adulthood, and the journey that eventually led him to record more than fifty hours of conversations with his father. Through those conversations, Jason gained a deeper understanding of both his father's story and his own.Key Discussion PointsGrowing up in a household affected by alcoholism and unprocessed traumaThe impact of wartime experiences across multiple generationsThe lasting effects of emotional messages received during childhoodThe concept of the "dry drunk" and what happens when drinking stops but healing does notFinding your voice after years of learning to stay invisibleThe influence of teachers, mentors, and supportive communitiesPanic attacks, emotional overwhelm, and the body's response to unresolved painThe role of Al-Anon in providing language and understandingCuriosity as a pathway toward healing and understandingUnderstanding a parent's history without minimizing its impactSome Questions I AskWhen your father stopped drinking, what was happening inside you that still needed attention?When did you realize that what you thought was shyness might actually have been something else?What helped you continue rewriting your story as new understanding emerged?What motivated you to begin interviewing your father about his experiences?Before your father passed away, did you find your own experience of forgiveness?In This Episode, You Will LearnHow growing up in an alcoholic home can shape identity and survival strategiesWhy childhood coping mechanisms often continue into adulthoodThe impact of generational trauma on familiesHow mentors and supportive relationships can create new possibilitiesWhy understanding and forgiveness are not always the same thingHow curiosity can open doors to healing and connectionThe value of hearing a loved one's full storyHow community support can help individuals make sense of experiences that once felt isolatingResourcesWar Boys by Jason Prokowiew https://www.jasonwprokowiew.com/war-boys-praiseAl-Anon Family Groups https://al-anon.orgThe Awakening by Kate ChopinCome and See (1985 film directed by Elem Klimov)Stories from the Stage (PBS)Notable Insight From The Episode"In order to understand what was still hemorrhaging inside of me, I had to hear my dad's stories."This reflection speaks to something many families experience. Understanding the history behind someone's behavior does not erase the pain it caused, but it can offer context, perspective, and a different path toward healing.About the GuestJason Prokowiew is the author of War Boys, a father-and-son memoir that traces his father's survival during World War II, his immigration to the United States, and the lasting impact of wartime trauma on their family. Through storytelling, writing, and public speaking, Jason explores themes of family, resilience, addiction, and generational healing.He has appeared on Stories from the Stage and has shared readings and presentations about War Boys, including appearances connected to Oberlin College, where he first began recording his father's history.Connect With the GuestLearn more about Jason Prokowiew and War Boyshttps://www.jasonwprokowiew.com
• Running Out Of Capacity Is Not The Same As Giving Up 02.06.2026 29min

  For years, Sherry Ehrin grieved a sister who was still alive. When her sister eventually died after decades of addiction, that grief did not end. In many ways, it began again.This conversation explores the kind of loss that families often carry quietly: the grief that accumulates through years of relapse, hope, disappointment, and difficult choices. It is a story about love, capacity, boundaries, and what it means to keep moving forward after profound loss.Episode SummaryIn this episode of Thrive While Loving an Addict, KL Wells sits down with Sherry Ehrin to discuss the often-overlooked sibling experience of addiction. Over more than twenty years, Sherry watched her sister move in and out of addiction, recovery, and crisis. Along the way, she adopted her sister's four children, navigated serious health challenges of her own, and carried the emotional weight that so many family members know intimately.Sherry shares the reality of grieving someone who is still alive, the difficult decisions families sometimes face when support and capacity run out, and the perspective that has helped her make sense of her journey. This conversation offers a compassionate look at ambiguous grief, boundaries, and the difference between stepping back and giving up.Key Discussion PointsThe sibling experience and why it is often overlooked in conversations about addictionAmbiguous grief and the experience of losing someone in stages over many yearsThe emotional and physical toll of loving someone through addictionAdopting a sibling's children while navigating complex family dynamicsThe difference between abandoning someone and reaching the limits of your capacityBoundaries as an act of care rather than rejectionManaging guilt, grief, and responsibility in the face of addictionRebuilding life and meaning after lossSome Questions I AskWhat does it feel like to grieve someone while they are still alive?How did you care for yourself while loving your sister through two decades of addiction?How do you navigate judgment from others when you choose to step back?How are you rewriting your story now, one year after losing your sister?In This Episode, You Will LearnWhy grief often begins long before a loved one diesHow ambiguous loss affects families living alongside addictionThe difference between running out of capacity and abandoning someone you loveWhat prolonged caregiving and chronic stress can cost emotionally and physicallyWhy siblings may feel unseen in addiction and recovery conversationsHow boundaries can coexist with deep love and compassionWhy choosing yourself is not the same as giving up on someone elseHow grief, hope, and responsibility can exist at the same timeResourcesLearn more about Thriving Yinzershttps://thrivingyinzers.comListen to This Is It by Thriving Yinzershttps://thrivingyinzers.comNotable Insight From The Episode“I didn't abandon her. I ran out of capacity.”For many families, those words capture a painful reality. There is a difference between choosing not to care and reaching the limits of what you are physically, emotionally, or mentally able to give. Recognizing that distinction can be an important part of healing.About the GuestSherry Ehrin is a Pittsburgh-based writer, advocate, and host of the podcast This Is It by Thriving Yinzers. After losing her sister to addiction, she became the primary caregiver for her sister's four children while continuing to build a life for her own family.Through Thriving Yinzers, Sherry creates space for honest conversations about resilience, healing, and finding meaning after difficult life experiences. Her work reflects the belief that people can continue moving forward even while carrying grief, loss, and uncertainty.Connect With the GuestWebsitehttps://thrivingyinzers.com
• Drowning With Them Is Not the Same as Loving Them 19.05.2026 52min

  What does it mean to love someone through addiction when the addiction is almost completely invisible from the outside?In this episode, KL Wells sits down with Dr. Wanda Kay, a clinician, somatic therapist, and coach who spent twenty years married to someone struggling with sex addiction while raising children, building careers, and trying to hold together a life that appeared stable to everyone around them. This conversation explores the emotional confusion, isolation, and self-doubt that can emerge when addiction quietly reshapes a relationship over time.Episode SummaryDr. Wanda Kay shares how growing up in an isolated and highly controlled religious environment shaped the way she understood relationships, trust, and belonging. She reflects on how those early experiences influenced her marriage and why it became difficult to recognize the deeper patterns unfolding beneath the surface. Over time, secrecy, emotional inconsistency, and gaslighting slowly eroded her confidence in her own perception of reality.Drawing from both lived experience and clinical work, Dr. Wanda offers insight into the emotional impact addiction can have on partners and families. Together, she and KL explore codependency, boundaries, nervous system awareness, and the long process of healing after relational trauma. This conversation centers the reality that loving someone deeply does not require losing yourself alongside them.Key Discussion PointsGrowing up in an isolated and highly controlled religious environmentHow isolation can increase vulnerability in unhealthy relationshipsThe emotional confusion partners often experience in relationships affected by hidden addictionThe “clock face” model of addiction and the emotional inconsistency it can create for partnersGaslighting, self-doubt, and the gradual erosion of trust in one’s own instinctsThe overlap between addictive behaviors and narcissistic coping patternsThe body’s role in recognizing emotional danger before the mind fully accepts itCodependency as a survival strategy developed through adaptation and caregivingThe difference between loving someone and losing yourself alongside themHealing as a long, nonlinear process rather than a fixed destinationReframing codependent traits as strengths that can be used in healthier waysBoundaries as self-protection rather than rejection or abandonmentSome Questions I AskAt what point did you first reach out to someone for support?Was discovering the affair the moment that interrupted the pattern, or had part of you already known something was wrong?What does the research suggest about healing timelines after long-term relationships affected by addiction?What are the practices that help keep you grounded and connected to yourself today?In This Episode, You Will LearnWhy people raised in isolated or controlling environments may be more vulnerable to unhealthy relational dynamicsHow emotional inconsistency and secrecy can create confusion and self-doubt in partnersWhy addictive behavior can sometimes mirror narcissistic patterns of manipulation and detachmentHow the nervous system and body often recognize danger before the conscious mind doesWhy codependent patterns often begin as adaptive survival responsesThe difference between supporting someone and emotionally drowning alongside themWhy healing from relational trauma can take time and unfold graduallyHow boundaries can protect both emotional well-being and personal identityWhy reconnecting with yourself is an important part of recovery and healingResourcesLearn more about Holisticated Health https://holisticatedhealth.comExplore the NEAR Program (Narcissistic Emotional Abuse Recovery) https://holisticatedhealth.comNotable Insight From The Episode“Loving someone does not mean you have to drown with them.”For many people loving someone through addiction, this idea can feel unfamiliar at first. Over time, it may become a reminder that compassion and care do not require sacrificing your own emotional safety, identity, or well-being.About the GuestDr. Wanda Kay is a coach, somatic therapist, and clinician currently completing her LPC. She is the co-founder of Holisticated Health alongside licensed psychologist Catherine Cashman, where they offer the NEAR Program, a four-day intensive retreat focused on recovery from narcissistic and emotional abuse.Drawing from both professional training and lived experience, Dr. Wanda works with individuals navigating relational trauma, emotional abuse, and recovery from long-term unhealthy relationship dynamics. Though based in Minnesota, she also facilitates retreats in Florida.Connect With Dr. Wanda KayWebsite https://holisticatedhealth.com
• No One Is Coming to Save You. That Is the Point. 05.05.2026 50min

  What does it look like to grow up inside the kind of environment many families are trying to help their loved ones escape?Bill Hoopes shares what it was like to take on adult responsibility at a young age in a home shaped by addiction and mental illness. His story offers a perspective that many listeners may recognize, especially those who learned early on to care for others before learning how to care for themselves.In this episode of Thrive While Loving an Addict, KL Wells sits down with Bill Hoopes to explore what it can mean to grow up in a home shaped by addiction and mental illness. Bill shares his experience of taking on adult responsibilities at a young age and how those early patterns carried into his later life and relationships.Through reflection on his time in the Navy and his work with families and young athletes, Bill offers insight into codependency, boundaries, and the long-lasting impact of childhood environments. This conversation gently explores the idea that while no one may come to rescue us, there can be a different kind of strength found in choosing how we respond and care for ourselves moving forward.Key Discussion PointsGrowing up in a household affected by addiction and mental illnessHow early responsibility can shape identity and relational patternsThe development of codependency and its long-term effectsThe difference between supporting someone and taking responsibility for themWhy boundaries can feel difficult and emotionally complexThe role of self-investment and intentional growthHow patterns formed in childhood can continue into adulthoodThe importance of recognizing and interrupting generational cyclesSome Questions I AskHow did your early experiences shape the person you became?When did you begin to recognize patterns from your childhood?What lessons from your time in the Navy still influence your life today?What do you see most often in families who are loving someone in addiction?What do you hope young people and families take away from your work?In This Episode, You Will LearnHow childhood environments can influence patterns of responsibility and identityWhy codependency can develop when children take on caregiving roles earlyHow boundaries can support both personal well-being and relationshipsThe difference between being present for someone and trying to manage their choicesWhy intentional time spent on personal growth can influence broader areas of lifeHow generational patterns can be recognized and gradually shiftedWhy self-responsibility can be a starting point for changeNotable Insight From The Episode“No one is coming to save you. If you want change, it has to be intentional.”For many families, this idea can feel heavy at first. Over time, it may also create space to shift focus away from trying to change someone else, and toward caring for your own well-being.ResourcesLearn more about Lead Your Journey https://leadyourjourney.comLeading Her Game by Bill Hoopes https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FYZPH3P7Connect on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/60forme/Connect on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1489040327
• She Scared Herself Sober — and Then Found Her Purpose 21.04.2026 55min

  In this episode of Thrive While Loving an Addict, KL Wells sits down with Lauren Fay to explore the hidden emotional landscape of addiction, particularly when it is shaped by perfectionism, secrecy, and the pressure to maintain an image. Lauren shares her experience of appearing put together on the outside while quietly struggling with alcohol and mental health challenges behind closed doors.As Lauren reflects on her path to sobriety, she speaks to the moment she chose to be seen and how that shift allowed her recovery to begin. This conversation also offers insight for families, highlighting the complexity of learning the full story all at once and the time it can take for healing to unfold on both sides.Key Discussion PointsThe role of perfectionism and image management in addictionHow secrecy and shame can delay recognition and supportWhat it can mean to choose openness after years of hidingThe emotional experience of early sobriety and identity uncertaintyWhy families are often unaware until much laterThe distinction between the person and the behavior shaped by addictionHow comparison can keep individuals from seeking helpThe role of willingness and choice in the recovery processRecovery as a shared experience that can involve both individuals and familiesSome Questions I AskWas the voice keeping you stuck your own, or something shaped by addiction?What was it like to begin sharing your story publicly?What messages feel most important for both those in recovery and their families?How can families begin to separate the person they love from the behavior they are seeing?In This Episode, You Will LearnHow perfectionism and the need to maintain control can influence addictive patternsWhat early recovery can feel like when identity begins to shiftWhy families may need time to process what they learnHow separating the person from the behavior can support compassionWhy comparison can delay recognition of a problemHow willingness can become an early step toward changeWhy healing may involve both personal work and relational repairResourcesBlurred Lines: My Reclamation of Power from Alcohol Addiction — You Are Not Powerless by Lauren Fayhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FL12GQP6Learn more about Lauren Fayhttps://laurenfay.co
• He Died Twice on the Streets Before Finding His Way Back 07.04.2026 42min

  Episode SummaryIn this episode of Thrive While Loving an Addict, KL Wells sits down with Dr. Robb Kelly, a neuroscientist and addiction specialist, to explore what it means to understand addiction as a disease rather than a moral failure. Dr. Kelly shares his personal journey from early exposure to alcohol in childhood to losing his family, home, and stability, and eventually living on the streets before reaching a turning point that changed the direction of his life.Drawing from both lived experience and years of working with thousands of individuals and families, Dr. Kelly offers insight into how addiction affects the brain and why behavior can feel so difficult to understand from the outside. This conversation also acknowledges the impact on families, the complexity of boundaries, and the possibility of healing and reconnection over time.Key Discussion PointsDr. Robb Kelly’s personal journey through addiction, loss, and recoveryUnderstanding addiction through a brain-based perspectiveHow survival mechanisms in the brain can influence addictive behaviorThe difference between intention and compulsion in addictionThe role of thinking patterns in sustaining addictionHow enabling and boundaries can impact recoveryThe emotional toll addiction can have on families and loved onesThe possibility of reconciliation after long periods of disconnectionThe role of faith, meaning, and perspective in recoveryThe brain’s ability to adapt and change over timeSome Questions I AskWhat were the turning points that led you from addiction into the work you do today?How did your personal experience shape your treatment approach?Do you see your life experiences as something that shaped your purpose?What would you say to loved ones trying to stay grounded in the middle of addiction?Were you able to find forgiveness in your relationship with your father?In This Episode, You Will LearnWhy addiction is often understood as a brain-based condition rather than a lack of willpowerHow certain brain processes can influence decision-making and behaviorWhy asking someone to “just stop” can feel unrealistic in the context of addictionHow patterns of thinking can play a role in sustaining addictionThe difference between supporting and enabling a loved oneHow addiction can impact the emotional well-being of familiesWhy healing and reconnection may still be possible over timeHow the brain has the capacity to adapt and changeResourcesLearn more about Dr. Robb Kelly https://robbkelly.com/Explore Breath Box Studio https://robbkelly.com/breathbox/
• She Grew Up With Two Alcoholic Fathers — Here’s What Healed Her 24.03.2026 46min

  Episode SummaryIn this episode of Thrive While Loving an Addict, KL Wells sits down with Dawn Jackson, a nurse, grief recovery specialist, and author, to explore what happens when grief goes unnamed for years. Dawn shares her experience growing up with both a biological father and a stepfather struggling with alcoholism, and how those early environments shaped what felt normal, safe, and familiar.Through years of personal development work, Dawn searched for something that would reach the deeper layers of her pain. It was not until she encountered grief recovery work that things began to make sense. This conversation gently explores how unresolved grief can sit beneath patterns formed in addiction-impacted families, and what can begin to shift when that grief is acknowledged.Key Discussion PointsGrowing up with two father figures affected by alcoholism and how that shaped early patternsHow chaos can become familiar, and why calm may feel unfamiliar or uncomfortableGrief as an underlying thread in addiction, abuse, and life transitionsThe limits of personal growth work when grief remains unprocessedHow grief recovery work can offer a different layer of understandingThe emotional complexity of setting limits with a parent in active addictionThe shift from surviving to building a more stable and grounded lifeNaming grief as a step toward understanding long-held emotional painSome Questions I AskWhen do you begin to recognize that patterns may be repeating?What helped you continue searching for something deeper?Was there a moment when you chose to set limits and accept what is?How do you relate to the idea that life may be happening for you rather than to you?Who are you now on the other side of this healing work?In This Episode, You Will LearnHow unresolved grief can influence patterns developed in childhoodWhy calm and stability can sometimes feel unfamiliar after growing up in chaosThe difference between ongoing personal growth and addressing grief directlyWhy setting limits with a loved one in addiction can feel painful regardless of the choiceHow naming grief can bring clarity to long-standing emotional experiencesWhy healing yourself is not abandonment, but an honest response to a complex situationResourcesJourney to Peace and Healing by Dawn JacksonJourney to Self Discovery: 100 Days of Soulful Reflections by Dawn JacksonFree guide: Unburdening Your Heart: Transforming the Beliefs Stealing Your Joyhttps://www.dawnmichelejackson.com/unburdening-your-heart-giftLearn more about Dawn Jackson https://www.dawnmichelejackson.comConnect on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/dawnmichelejacksonConnect on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/dawn-michele-jackson/
• You're Not Stuck — You're Still Following Rules That Once Kept You Safe: Breaking Free from Inherited Patterns 10.03.2026 44min

  Episode SummaryIn this episode of Thrive While Loving an Addict, producer Steve Cary joins host KL Wells to explore how deeply rooted patterns shape the way we think, respond, and relate to others. Many of these patterns begin in childhood as survival strategies within family systems affected by addiction, chaos, or emotional unpredictability.KL reflects on how growing up with a mother struggling with prescription drug addiction influenced her relationships later in life, including the partners she chose and the way she responded to challenges with her son. Through awareness, reflection, and support, she shares how shifting from a mindset of “life is happening to me” to “life is happening for me” opened the door to healing, forgiveness, and healthier boundaries.Key Discussion PointsUnderstanding behavioral, emotional, and cognitive patterns developed during childhoodHow growing up in addictive or chaotic environments can normalize dysfunctionThe way inherited relationship patterns can shape adult partnershipsSurvival strategies such as hypervigilance, people-pleasing, achievement, and avoidanceThe role of education, awareness, and support in recognizing unhealthy patternsWhy love alone is often not enough to change addiction or abusive dynamicsHow boundaries can interrupt cycles of enabling and self-sacrificeShifting focus from controlling external circumstances to strengthening internal valuesThe mindset shift from “life is happening to me” to “life is happening for me”Identifying growth and insight within painful experiencesUnderstanding forgiveness as release rather than justificationHow the questions we ask ourselves influence the patterns we createSome Questions I AskWhat do you mean when you talk about patterns of behavior, thinking, and emotional response?How can someone begin to break these cycles if they lack awareness or education about them?When did you first recognize that some of your strengths were actually patterns developed for survival?What happens when someone does not recognize the patterns shaping their life?What would you say to someone who feels trapped and cannot yet see the possibility of change?In This Episode, You Will LearnHow childhood experiences with addiction or instability can shape patterns that follow us into adulthoodThe difference between coping mechanisms and conscious awarenessWhy the belief that “love alone is enough” can keep people stuck in unhealthy dynamicsHow boundaries can support healing and self-respectWhy a shift in perspective can influence how we process painful experiencesThe importance of asking better questions when facing hardshipHow challenging experiences and relationships can become sources of insightThe role forgiveness can play in releasing resentment and emotional burdenHow curiosity and openness can help create new possibilities for growthResourcesLearn more about Viktor Frankl and his work on meaning and resilience https://www.viktorfrankl.org/
• What a Death Doula Learned About Loving Someone You Can’t Save 24.02.2026 44min

  Episode SummaryIn this powerful conversation, host KL Wells sits down with Paul Simard, a death doula, TED Talk speaker, and men’s wellness coach, to explore how our relationship with grief, loss, and mortality shapes the way we love. Drawing from his personal journey through crisis and transformation, Paul shares how facing life’s hardest realities can open the door to deeper compassion, connection, and meaning.Together, KL and Paul discuss how loving someone in addiction often brings families into an ongoing experience of grief, uncertainty, and emotional complexity. This episode offers a thoughtful reframing of grief as an extension of love, explores the role of shame and isolation, and invites listeners to consider new ways of holding both loss and hope at the same time.Key Discussion PointsPaul’s personal journey and how life challenges led him into service workReframing death as a natural and meaningful part of life’s cycleUnderstanding grief as an expression of ongoing loveHow loving someone in addiction can mirror the emotional experience of griefThe difference between shame and guilt, and how shame fuels isolationWhy connection and community are essential for healingRethinking sovereignty as interdependence rather than independenceThe emotional impact of the language we use around death and lossCultural perspectives on honoring life and deathHow personal stories and beliefs shape our experience of sufferingSome Questions I AskHow did your personal experiences lead you into this work?What does it mean to show up as a father, partner, and man today?How can we develop a healthier relationship with death and loss?How do we love someone whose addiction creates constant uncertainty?Where do our stories about shame come from, and how do they affect us?How do we know if the beliefs we’re holding are helping or hurting us?What might be possible if we questioned the narratives we’ve inherited?How can we hold both grief and gratitude at the same time?In This Episode, You Will LearnHow reframing grief and loss can shift your emotional experienceWhy grief is often a continuation of love rather than the end of connectionThe role of community and connection in supporting mental and emotional healthHow shame can keep families isolated and how connection helps interrupt that patternThe influence language and internal narratives have on the nervous systemHow experiences of loss can deepen perspective and meaningWhy strength often comes from interdependence rather than independenceHow grief and joy can coexistThe importance of questioning inherited beliefs and rewriting stories that no longer serve youResourcesLearn more about Paul Simard https://paulsimard.coWatch Paul Simard’s TED Talk: The Mythical Manhttps://www.ted.com/talks/paul_simard_the_mythical_manConnect with Thrive While Loving an Addict https://voicesincourage.comBooks mentioned in the episode: Lost Connections by Johann Hari The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck Sapiens by Yuval Noah HarariLearn more about Positive Intelligence https://positiveintelligence.com/about/Explore the work of Gabor Maté https://drgabormate.com/
• “Nothing Is Working” Usually Means You’re Fighting the Wrong Battle 10.02.2026 25min

  Episode SummaryIn this episode, podcast producer Steve Cary joins host KL Wells for an honest and reflective conversation about what it means to thrive while loving someone in active addiction. KL shares lessons from her 20-year journey with her son Sam, including his nearly three years of sustained recovery. Together, they explore the perspective that shaped KL’s healing path: the belief that life is happening for you, not to you.KL discusses how loving with boundaries helped her reclaim her own agency and emotional stability. She reflects on why feeling like nothing is working often signals that families are trying to manage addiction itself rather than focusing on outcomes that support their own well-being. This conversation offers grounded insight into fear, uncertainty, relapse, and the personal growth that can happen alongside a loved one’s recovery journey.Key Discussion PointsReframing hardship through the perspective that life is happening for you, not to youThe difference between loving with boundaries and rescuing or enablingBrain science and addiction survival wiring and how it shapes behaviorWhy feeling like nothing is working may signal you are trying to control addiction rather than your own healingSetting clear personal boundaries, including removing financial or rescue-based supportSelf-care as a survival skill, including emotional processing, tapping, movement, and time in natureManaging fear and internal stories during periods of silence in recoveryViewing relapse as part of a longer learning process rather than a single failureShifting from focusing on a loved one’s outcomes to identifying your ownSome Questions I AskWhere were you in your journey when you were able to respond with boundaries instead of rescuing?For listeners who feel nothing is working, how can they begin to see a path forward?Was there something different about your son’s most recent turn toward recovery?What are a few early steps for someone who feels overwhelmed, stuck, or afraid?In This Episode, You Will LearnWhy the feeling that nothing is working can signal you are focused on the wrong battleHow loving boundaries can support both compassion and self-protectionHow shifting focus toward your own outcomes can create emotional stabilityEarly support steps that many families find helpful, including peer support and learning from others’ experiencesWhy addiction can disrupt survival priorities in the brain and create unpredictable behaviorWays to navigate uncertainty during recovery periodsHow routine, joy, and connection can help rebuild emotional capacityResourcesFind support through Al-Anon Family Groupshttps://al-anon.orgLearn about the Be A Loving Mirror (BALM) family recovery frameworkhttps://balmfamilyrecovery.comConnect with Thrive While Loving an Addicthttps://voicesincourage.com
• Why Healing Yourself Is the First Step to Breaking Generational Cycles of Shame – Part 2 27.01.2026 27min

  Episode SummaryIn Part 2 of this compassionate conversation, host KL Wells continues her dialogue with Denise Frenette on what it truly means to heal while loving someone with addiction. Together, they explore how forgiveness, boundaries, and emotional honesty can exist without minimizing harm or excusing destructive behavior.Denise reflects on her own journey of reconciling love for her father with the reality of his addiction. She shares how releasing judgment, challenging secrecy, and choosing understanding over blame can help interrupt generational patterns of shame and inherited trauma. This episode centers the healing of the loved one, not as abandonment, but as a necessary step toward truth, freedom, and peace.Key Discussion PointsHolding love and truth at the same time when addiction has caused real harmWhat forgiveness is and what it is notMoving through anger, sadness, and grief without getting stuck in themReframing harm through the lens of “nothing is personal”Choosing moments of joy while a loved one continues to struggleWhy boundaries are essential to healing, including stepping back when neededHow secrecy and silence reinforce shame across generationsTelling the whole truth as a form of honoring, not betrayalSome Questions I AskHow can I love my father and still say, “This was wrong”?What does forgiveness really mean, and what are the most common misconceptions about it?How do we stop taking addictive behavior personally?Is it possible to experience joy while someone we love is suffering?When are boundaries necessary for healing, even if they feel painful?How do we move from anger to understanding without excusing harm?Why does humanizing the person who hurt us help set us free?How do we hold the full truth of our family story without rewriting it?In This Episode, You Will LearnWhy healing yourself is not abandonment, but responsibilityHow forgiveness can free you without minimizing harmWhy emotions are a pathway rather than a destinationHow boundaries support compassion rather than weaken itWays to challenge inherited shame without rewriting historyHow honesty can interrupt generational cycles of secrecyResourcesLearn more about Denise Frenette https://www.denisefrenette.comRead the book by Denise Frenette https://www.denisefrenette.com/bookConnect with KL Wells and the Thrive While Loving an Addict community https://voicesincourage.comWatch KL Wells’ TEDx Talk The Secret Lives of Families Dealing with Addictionhttps://youtu.be/SM4uxpBN-g8?si=Z2LOhmdZMDMuMDHYNote: This episode is Part 2 of a continuing conversation with Denise Frenette on generational shame and healing.
• Why Healing Yourself Is the First Step to Breaking Generational Cycles of Shame 13.01.2026 36min

  Episode SummaryIn this powerful episode, host KL Wells sits down with Denise Frenette, a Canadian spiritual synergist, life coach, and author of the newly released book, More. Denise opens up about the birthing process of her book and the profound realization that she could not teach others about manifestation and habit-breaking without first confronting her own origin story.Denise shares the raw reality of growing up with a father who was a functioning alcoholic, a gambler, and at times violent, all while maintaining the perfect family image in their community. Through the lens of her father’s passing and the subsequent discovery of the financial devastation he left behind, Denise discusses the difficult journey of moving from intellectual understanding to deep heart work. This conversation explores how to acknowledge the trauma of the past with grace, the duality of loving an addict while hating their actions, and why personal healing is the essential portal to breaking generational cycles of shame.Key Discussion PointsThe Acknowledge Phase: Why Denise had to move past denial to respectfully acknowledge what was wrong in her childhood before she could truly heal.The Facade of Perfection: Growing up in a church-going, perfect family and the immense shame associated with any behavior that threatened that public image.The Duality of Love and Pain: Navigating the conundrum of how to acknowledge a parent's harmful behavior without losing the ability to love them.The Breaking Point: How her father’s death and the discovery of his hidden gambling debts acted as the drop in the bucket that forced Denise to step into her authentic self.Fear as an Acronym: Exploring the concept of F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real) and how it keeps us from transparency.The Evolution of Healing: Understanding that healing is not a one-and-done event but an ongoing discovery process.Some Questions I AskHow can I acknowledge what is going on and still love them at the same time?Was that curiosity about your dad's upbringing born in that experience?Do you think the curiosity and the willingness to step into discovery is the first step in breaking generational cycles?What was the portal or the moment that cracked you wide open to explore the gifts and lessons embedded in this experience?In This Episode, You Will LearnWhy intellectualizing your trauma is not the same as healing your heart.The importance of viewing the boy behind the man to understand the roots of addiction and behavior.How to transition from anger to sadness and finally to curiosity and discovery.Why anger is often sadness that has not been acknowledged and how to ask the right questions to move toward a solution.The power of coming out as your authentic self and realizing that the things you feared most often do not happen.ResourcesLearn more about Denise Frenette https://www.denisefrenette.comRead the Book More by Denise Frenette https://www.denisefrenette.com/bookConnect with KL Wells Thrive While Loving an Addict Community https://voicesincourage.comWatch KL Wells’ TEDx Talk The Secret Lives of Families Dealing with Addiction https://youtu.be/SM4uxpBN-g8?si=Z2LOhmdZMDMuMDHYNote: This is Part 1 of a 2-part series. Be sure to tune in for the next episode as we dive deeper into the misunderstood nature of forgiveness.
• How to Survive the Holiday Grief Spiral When Addiction Has Taken Someone 30.12.2025 46min

  In this deeply moving and honest episode, host KL Wells is joined by Jim Horton, a father who tragically lost his 19-year-old son, Zach, to an opiate addiction. Recorded during the holiday season, a particularly challenging time for many, this conversation offers a raw and authentic look at the rollercoaster ride of grief. Jim shares his personal story, from the initial shock and all-consuming pain to his journey of healing and finding new purpose. He and KL explore the paralyzing stigma of addiction, the complexities of the recovery landscape, and the critical need for community for both those struggling with addiction and the families who love them.This episode is a powerful testament to the long, non-linear path of grief and a beacon of hope for anyone feeling lost in the darkness of loss.Key Discussion PointsThe profound impact of stigma and how it prevents families from seeking and receiving help.Understanding that the recovery landscape is wide and looks different for teenagers versus adults.The family's parallel journey of recovery and the importance of their own healing.Navigating the intense, unpredictable emotions of grief, especially during the holidays.The distinction between sobriety as simple abstinence and recovery as an active, ongoing journey toward a better life.Finding purpose and a path forward through service and contribution after a devastating loss.The power of community and why no one should have to walk this path alone.Some Questions I AskHow can we shift our perspective to see relapse not as a total failure, but as part of a longer recovery journey?What are the first steps a parent can take when they feel paralyzed by their child's addiction?How do we navigate the shoulds and self-blame that often accompany loving someone with an addiction?For those deep in grief, what does the path toward finding moments of peace or even joy look like?In This Episode, You Will LearnWhy treating addiction as a disease, not a moral failing, is crucial for both the individual and their family.The importance of exploring city and county resources for addiction and recovery support, which are often overlooked.That grief is not a linear process; it is a rollercoaster with ups and downs, and it is okay to not be okay.Practical strategies to interrupt negative thought patterns and head trash when you feel yourself spiraling.That your own recovery journey as a loved one is just as important as the person's journey with addiction.There is hope for finding light and purpose again, even after the most profound loss.Links and Resources: The Zachary Horton FoundationLearn more about Jim’s work to end the stigma of addiction, spread awareness, and support individuals and families in his community.🌐 https://zacharyhortonfoundation.org/ zacharyhortonfoundation.orgThrive While Loving an Addict (Podcast & Community)Listen to the Thrive While Loving an Addict podcast by KL Wells and find community support for parents and loved ones of those struggling with addiction.📍 https://voicesincourage.com/podcast County Mental Health and Addiction ServicesAs mentioned in the episode, a critical and often underutilized resource. To find support near you, search for:🔎 "[Your County] mental health and addiction services"Grief Support GroupsConnecting with others who have experienced similar loss can be incredibly healing. You can find grief support through organizations such as:📍 GriefShare — https://www.griefshare.org/
• She Left Everything Behind - and Found What Was Missing 16.12.2025 46min

  In this episode, host KL Wells welcomes Pamela Tosh, an energy healer and yoga teacher joining us from Cape Town, South Africa. Pamela shares her incredible story of resilience and transformation, from a childhood marked by emotional abuse and early struggles with addiction to a profound spiritual awakening in the Himalayas. She recounts how her journey to India for yoga teacher training became the turning point that allowed her to release stored trauma, break the cycle of addiction, and find her true purpose.Join us for a powerful conversation about the limitations of conventional rehab, the healing power of spiritual connection, and how a life dedicated to service can lead to your own liberation. Pamela’s story is a testament to the fact that it is never too late to rewrite your script and create a life of authenticity, purpose, and joy.Key Discussion PointsPamela’s story of origin, growing up in an environment of emotional abuse and alcohol dependency in South Africa.The powerful, life-altering journey to India that sparked a deep spiritual awakening and healing from trauma.The concept of being addicted to a "3D reality" and how to break free from societal conditioning.Karma Yoga, or meditation in action, and how serving her community became a cornerstone of her recovery.The critical need for sustainable, holistic, and long-term approaches to addiction recovery.How to practice emotional detachment to find peace and stillness, even in the midst of chaos.Some Questions I AskWould you please give our listeners a window into your story of origin?Did you step away from addiction when you got pregnant?Talk about your first journey to India. Was that an experience of awakening for you?How do you describe your formula for thriving?In This Episode, You Will LearnThe limitations of short-term rehabilitation programs and the importance of creating a sustainable, long-term healing plan.How stored trauma and emotions manifest physically in the body and how practices like yoga can help release them.The concept of Karma Yoga and how selfless service can be a powerful tool for healing and finding purpose.Techniques for practicing emotional detachment and finding inner peace, even when surrounded by chaos.The importance of withdrawing the senses to move past physical attachments and connect more deeply with your spiritual self.Why telling your truth is a fundamental practice for living an authentic life and breaking free from toxic relationship patterns.How to find daily excitement and inspiration to stay resilient on your unique, divinely guided path.ResourcesConnect with Pamela Tosh (Indie Pam):Website: https://indiepam.orgFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/pamela.tosh.indipam/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pamelatosh/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pamelatosh/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@IndiPam.pamelatoshBook Mentioned:The Song of God (A version of the Bhagavad Gita)https://a.co/d/21ahoyxConnect with KL Wells and the Thrive While Loving an Addict Community:https://voicesincourage.com
• He Ran Antarctica Twice. His Wife's Addiction Was Still Harder. 02.12.2025 50min

  In this powerful episode, host KL Wells welcomes the extraordinary Mike Pierce, also known as "Antarctic Mike." Mike shares his incredible life story, from conquering the Antarctic Ice Marathon to navigating the profound challenges of his late wife Angela's 36-year battle with chronic pain and opioid addiction. This episode is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit, offering a raw and honest look at the parallel journey of loving someone through addiction and loss. Mike's story is one of turning pain into purpose, finding strength in the darkest of times, and learning to embrace life's most difficult moments as opportunities for growth and connection.Antarctic Who?Mike Pierce, better known as Antarctic Mike, works with organizations that want to find, engage and keep the best performing people. Mike’s background professionally started in the recruiting business in 1997, working specifically to show managers and leaders exactly how to identify and recruit the best people. He now speaks across the US and Canada to executive teams, organizations, associations and sales teams about how to lead people so they are fully engaged in what they do.Mike is an avid fan of polar expedition history and is an endurance athlete. In 2006, Mike became one of 9 people to run the first ever Antarctic Ice Marathon and a year later became the first American to run the Antarctic 100k, a grueling 62 miles on an ice shelf 600 miles from the South Pole.His flagship program, Leading at 90 Below Zero, connects the drivers and principles of Antarctic expedition history stories to the real world of finding, engaging and keeping great people in today’s business world.Mike has a BA from the University of Colorado, Boulder, and resides in Encinitas, California.Key Discussion Points• Mike's journey to Antarctica and how it prepared him for life's greatest challenges.• Angela's battle with chronic pain and subsequent opioid addiction.• The family's journey through the cycles of addiction, recovery, and relapse.• The emotional and psychological toll on the caregiver in a relationship with an addict.• The power of mindset and perspective in navigating trauma and loss.• The importance of letting go and embracing the present moment.• Finding hope and new beginnings after profound loss.Some Questions I Ask• How did you navigate holding the space for her suffering?• What are the gifts and lessons embedded in this experience for you?• How do you reconcile the difference between quitting and surrendering?In This Episode, You Will Learn• How to find strength and resilience in the face of overwhelming adversity.• The importance of viewing difficulty as a teacher and an opportunity for growth.• How to support a loved one through addiction while also caring for your own well-being.• The power of letting go of resistance and embracing the present moment.• How to find hope and purpose after the loss of a loved one.• That pain is inevitable, but suffering is a choice.ResourcesConnect with Mike Pierce: You can find more about Mike's incredible story, his speaking engagements, and his book by searching for "Antarctic Mike" on Google. You can also find his TED Talk on YouTube.Social LinksLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/antarcticmike/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Antarctic-Mike-Speaks-1617958015119843/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/AntarcticMike/TED Talk: https://youtu.be/SzscWpdmIdg?si=HzUS_qK2iy_9UhDa
• The Moment She Realized Her Son’s Addiction Wasn’t Her Failure 18.11.2025 53min

  In this powerful and deeply personal episode, host KL Wells sits down with fellow podcaster Krista Zaft to explore the generational cycles of addiction and the profound healing that comes from breaking them. Krista shares her story of growing up with an alcoholic father, unconsciously repeating familiar patterns in her own marriage, and facing one of the biggest challenges of her life: her son's addiction.This conversation is a candid look at how childhood trauma shapes our adult lives, leading to traits like perfectionism, codependency, and a need for control. Krista walks us through her pivotal "awakening" moments—first, as a young mother confronting her own anger, and later, as she stepped onto a path of parallel recovery alongside her son. Together, KL and Krista unravel the isolating nature of shame and illuminate the life-changing power of community, personal responsibility, and finding hope in the midst of chaos. Key Discussion PointsHow childhood chaos can lead us to unconsciously recreate similar dynamics in our adult relationshipsThe profound impact of family tragedy on the cycle of addictionKrista’s "awakening" moment with her daughter that led her to seek therapy for the first timeNavigating a child’s addiction and the journey of organizing a family interventionThe concept of parallel recovery and the importance of doing your own healing work alongside your loved oneThe isolating role of shame for parents of addicts and the power of community supportUnderstanding the traits of Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA) and how these patterns show up in adulthood👤 About Our Guest: Krista ZaftKrista Zaft is a clarity and confidence coach, speaker, and host of the Becoming Sound podcast. Her work is rooted in helping women heal from the ripple effects of generational addiction and create lives grounded in authenticity, mental clarity, and emotional well-being. With a background shaped by personal experience, Krista’s voice is a guiding light for those navigating the messy middle of recovery and transformation.Her podcast, Becoming Sound, is a space for raw, unfiltered conversations about life after dysfunction and the journey toward healing in mind, body, and spirit.🔗 Follow Krista and Learn More🌐 Website: kristazaft.com🎧 Podcast on Apple: Becoming Sound🎧 Podcast on Spotify: Becoming Sound📺 YouTube: @kristazaft📸 Instagram: @zaftkrista📩 Email: krista@kristazaft.com
• Childhood Trauma Set the Stage. Then Addiction Arrived. 04.11.2025 49min

  In this deeply moving episode, host KL Wells is joined by Dr. Janelle Martin, a functional medicine doctor and counselor from Houston. Dr. Martin shares the raw and transformative story of her daughter's journey through addiction and her own parallel path to recovery. She opens up about the hidden family traumas—divorce, parental alienation, and abuse—that served as the backdrop for her daughter's substance use, which began as a way to numb immense pain. Dr. Martin recounts the heart-wrenching moment of discovery, the difficult decisions that followed, and the critical importance of finding the right support for both her daughter and herself. This conversation is a powerful testament to the strength found in community, the healing that comes from vulnerability, and the profound truth that a parent's recovery is a crucial, independent journey that can change everything.Key Discussion PointsThe profound impact of childhood trauma, divorce, and parental alienation on a child's vulnerability to addiction.The slow, painful, and often-denied process of a parent realizing their child is using drugs.The crisis point that forces a parent to set firm boundaries and seek external help.Navigating the overwhelming process of finding an effective treatment program for an adolescent.The life-changing discovery of community and the critical role of parent support groups.How the 12-step program became a transformative gift for a parent, helping her heal and grow.The process of rebuilding a mother-daughter relationship from the ground up through honesty, vulnerability, and shared recovery.The journey of co-authoring a book, Losing Her, Finding Us, to share both the mother's and daughter's perspectives.Some Questions I Ask:When did the light bulb go off for you that you had your own recovery in this?Can you tell us about how your book, co-authored with your daughter, came to be?What are the top non-negotiable things you do to take care of yourself?In This Episode, You Will LearnHow hidden family trauma can be a significant root cause of addiction.Why a parent's own recovery journey is essential, regardless of their child's choices.That finding a community of peers is "mission critical" for parents navigating a child's addiction.How the 12-step process can be a powerful tool for personal transformation for anyone.That it is possible to rebuild a deep, meaningful relationship with a child in recovery.The power of sharing your story to break through shame and offer a lifeline to others.ResourcesGuest Website & Book: Learn more about Dr. Janelle Martin and her daughter's story, and order their book, Losing Her, Finding Us: A Mother’s Fight, A Daughter’s Journey, and The Road to Recovery, at ourbeautifulrecovery.comDr. Martin's Practice: Discover the work Dr. Martin does with brain health and neurofeedback at the TMC Brain Health Center in Houston: tmcbrainhealthcenter.comCommunity Support: Find a local meeting for support and connection:Al-Anon Family GroupsParents of Addicted Loved Ones (PAL)
• Breaking Free from the Lie: How to Heal Past Trauma and Unlock Future Hope 21.10.2025 45min

  In this powerful and deeply personal episode of Thrive While Loving an Addict, host KL Wells welcomes author and cycle-breaker Wendy B. Correa to discuss her extraordinary journey from childhood trauma to profound healing.Wendy shares the genesis of her complex PTSD and anxiety, starting with the traumatic death of her father and the subsequent years spent walking on eggshells with an alcoholic and violent stepfather. She details how she intuitively sought out healing modalities—from nature and Buddhism to 12-step programs and Native American spirituality—long before modern science validated their effectiveness.This conversation is an honest exploration of intergenerational trauma, the biological impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), and the courage it takes to rewrite your own story. Wendy introduces her forthcoming memoir, My Pretty Baby (releasing November 4th), which serves as both an “autopsy” of her family’s dysfunction and a guidebook for others seeking to end the cycle of trauma. This episode is a beacon of light, emphasizing that healing is not only possible but contagious.Key Discussion PointsThe profound trauma of parental loss in childhood and the lack of emotional support in the 1960sGrowing up with a Jekyll and Hyde alcoholic stepfather, leading to hypervigilance and complex PTSDThe realization that family dysfunction is often layered with intergenerational trauma, addiction, and mental health issuesWendy’s intuitive search for healing through nature, Zen meditation, Buddhism, music, 12-step programs, and Native American spirituality (sweat lodges and vision quests)The scientific understanding that trauma is not just an external event, but a biological change that "rewires our biology" and causes the body to "keep score"Trauma as a public health issue, with 61% of adults having at least one Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE) and the correlation between high ACE scores and decreased life expectancyThe power of community and "safe connection" as a form of medicine for the brainThe critical difference between forgiveness (for the forgiver) and reconciliation, and the necessity of strong boundaries or even estrangement for survivalSome Questions I AskWhat was the turning point when you realized your trauma wasn’t your fault?How did you begin exploring healing modalities before they were mainstream?What role did nature and spiritual practices play in your journey?How do you define forgiveness in the context of trauma and family?What do you hope readers take away from My Pretty Baby?✅ In This Episode, You Will LearnHow early childhood trauma can shape one’s identity and relationshipsThe biological impacts of trauma and how healing rewires the nervous systemPractical tools for reclaiming your voice, body, and boundariesWhy healing is possible at any stage of life—and how one person’s healing can ripple out to othersThe importance of community and safe connection in overcoming generational patterns👤 About the Guest: Wendy B. CorreaWendy B. Correa is a writer, yogi, hiker, and licensed massage therapist. She has worked in film, television, multimedia, and music in Los Angeles, and later as a radio DJ in Aspen, Colorado. Wendy holds bachelor’s degrees in psychology and theater arts and has contributed articles to Mothering magazine.A devoted wife and mother, she currently resides in Denver, Colorado, and enjoys traveling to magical destinations with her family. My Pretty Baby is her debut memoir, releasing November 4th.📧 For more information, visit Wendy's website or email her at: contact@wendybcorrea.com
• Guilt Pushes You Forward. Shame Just Holds You Down. 07.10.2025 48min

  In this episode of Thrive, host KL Wells sits down with Ian Vassilaros—a licensed therapist, business consultant, and coach—to explore the destructive power of shame and its hidden role in addiction and disconnection. Ian shares his professional journey into the heart of shame, unpacking how this often-overlooked emotion corrodes self-worth and drives human suffering.Listeners will learn the critical distinction between guilt and shame—how guilt can inspire integrity-driven action, while shame depletes hope by attacking the self. Ian also explains how trauma and shame become interlinked, shaping limiting beliefs like "I'm unlovable" or "I deserve pain." Most importantly, this conversation reveals practical, empowering tools for "deshaming" shame—opening a path to healing, growth, and connection.Key Discussion PointsThe concept of “seeing people as objects” and how it creates shame-based thinking.The crucial difference between guilt and shame—and why one motivates while the other debilitates.Guilt as a signal of misalignment with our values, and shame as an inherited lie about who we are.The connection between unresolved trauma and toxic shame narratives.How shame fuels addiction and self-destructive behavior patterns.The intense loneliness and isolation shame creates—and how sharing breaks that cycle.Techniques for recognizing shame-based thinking and developing self-compassion.How to support loved ones by breaking the silence around shame and offering presence instead of fixing.Some Questions I Ask:What drew you into exploring shame on such a deep level?How does shame differ from guilt in terms of our internal experience and behavior?In what ways does shame connect with trauma and addictive behavior?What does it actually mean to “deshame” shame?How can those who love someone in addiction begin to release their own shame?In This Episode, You Will Learn:How shame operates as a root cause of addiction, disconnection, and emotional paralysis.How to separate guilt (helpful) from shame (harmful) and reframe painful experiences.Why sharing your shame story with safe people can neutralize its power.The importance of self-awareness and internal dialogue in overcoming shame-based beliefs.How to become a more grounded support system for someone struggling with substance use.Why your struggles or mistakes do not define your worth—and how to reclaim your narrative.Resources & Links:Connect with Ian Vassilaros🌐 Website: learnmoveheal.com📩 Email: ian@learnmoveheal.com📘 Books Mentioned by IanLeadership and Self-Deception by The Arbinger InstituteThe Anatomy of Peace by The Arbinger InstituteBonds That Make Us Free by C. Terry Warner