Full-Time Grievers

Ep. 33 Minisode: Before You Reply... 09.06.2026 14min

You get a text. It's probably fine. But somehow your whole body says, “I cannot deal with this right now…”.This minisode is for that moment: when your brain-on-grief meets your inbox and loses. In acute and active grief, our Executive bandwidth is heavily taxed. Attention, memory, decision-making, and language are all running on reduced capacity. So when a text comes in – even a well-meaning one – it can land like a demand we don't have the resources to meet.Before You Reply is a 3–4 minute nervous system support designed to help you receive and respond with slightly less defense. Not like nothing is happening for you… Just a little less braced.This episode includes a guided somatic practice and a set of short responses that protect both you and the relationship while you find your footing.You can download your free grief journal ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.Send your Grief Confessional ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.And contribute to the show ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Ep. 32 Karen Hollenbeck: At the Intersection of Life and Death 04.05.2026 1t 8min

As a paramedic for over 15 years, and now as a sound therapist and Reiki practitioner – Karen Hollenbeck supports those near death and those having to survive their loved one’s death. She's also a fellow Full-Time Griever, navigating the death of two brothers, among others close to her, all passing within a few years.In this conversation, Karen and Nathan talk about what it's like to support others through catastrophe and loss while carrying your own grief. They get into what grief actually does to the nervous system; what practices like sound therapy and Reiki can reach that talking and thinking can't; what her years in emergency medicine taught Karen, and how she managed when loss hit home.They also go deep on what we keep getting wrong about supporting grievers, what it would look like to actually do it well, and what Karen now believes about grief that our culture hasn't caught up to yet.You can download your free grief journal ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.Send your Grief Confessional ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.And contribute to the show ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.You can find out more about Karen’s work here.

Ep. 31 The Invisible Concussion of Grief 06.04.2026 53min

In this episode, Nathan describes the functional parallel between the experience of acute grief and the documented symptoms of traumatic brain injury.The cognitive fog. The bone-deep exhaustion. The emotional volatility, the strange relationship to time, the inability to make decisions or hold a conversation – all of it has a neurological basis.Drawing on the neuroscientific research of Mary-Frances O'Connor, Lisa Feldman Barrett, and others, Nathan walks through what's actually happening in the brain during acute loss — why it disrupts everything from memory to social cognition to sleep — and closes with seven practical, science-grounded strategies for caring for the grieving brain without abandoning yourself in the process.This is an episode about understanding what happened to you. And about treating yourself, finally, with the same patience and care you'd give someone with a visible injury.You can download your free grief journal ⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠.Send your Grief Confessional ⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠.And contribute to the show ⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Ep. 30 Grief Confessional: I Miss My Brother 09.03.2026 9min

Sometimes grief feels like reality glitched — and you’re the only one who noticed… The Grief Confessionals is a new minisode format.Raw pieces of grief – written by real people and read without commentary or advice.Just truth being witnessed.In this first confessional, Nathan shares a reflection from “the Broken-Hearted Twin” on losing their brother, and the strange, persistent sense that reality itself has somehow misfired.No brightsiding.No fixing.Just unfiltered grief, spoken out loud.Listeners are invited to submit their own Grief Confessional – anonymously or with their name – for the private collective archives of Full-Time Grievers. Some will be read (with permission) in upcoming Grief Confessional minisodes.If there’s something in your grieving process that you’ve never been able to say anywhere else, you’re welcome to share it with us. Here’s the link: https://forms.gle/rBE4o8kdL7v3pBAm6Because, often, the most powerful thing we can do for our grief is simply be witnessed.

Ep. 29 You’re Not the Same — and You’re Not Supposed to Be 23.02.2026 31min

Grief doesn’t just hurt – it changes who we are.In this episode, Nathan names an experience most grievers have, but very few expect — after loss, you may not recognize yourself. Your values and priorities shift.Your capacity changes.Your motivation gets weird.Your sense of belonging rearranges.And on top of everything else, our culture pressures us to “get back to normal” – as if we’re supposed to return to who we were before. (And, of course, we may long for that too…)But we’re *not* the same after loss, and we’re not *supposed* to be.This is a conversation about where grieving becomes identity shift – without pathologizing normal experience – and about how to live forward without betraying our love, who we were with them, or the person we’re becoming.You can download your free grief journal ⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠.Send your Grief Confessional ⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠.And contribute to the show ⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠.

Ep. 28 Minisode: Sitting with Grief 16.02.2026 13min

In this minisode of Full-Time Grievers, Nathan M. McTague offers a different approach — not a solution, not a lesson, but a gentle invitation to be with what’s already here.This is a quiet, grounding episode for anyone who needs permission to be with their grief, just as they are.You can listen while resting, walking, or going about your day — and return to it anytime you need a reminder that you’re not alone, and you’re not doing grief wrong.You can download your free grief journal ⁠⁠here⁠⁠.Send your Grief Confessional ⁠⁠here⁠⁠.And contribute to the show ⁠⁠here⁠⁠.

Ep. 27 10 Things I Don’t Like About Grieving in America 02.02.2026 45min

Grief is hard — and in many ways, our culture makes it harder than it needs to be.In this episode of Full-Time Grievers, Nathan M. McTague names ten common ways grieving in America is constrained, misunderstood, or actively complicated — from unrealistic expectations of emotional coherence, or platitudes offered instead of presence, to the pressure to “move on” or return to who you were before loss.This is not an episode about fixing grievers or finding silver linings in our sorrow.It’s about telling the truth.In the second half of the episode, Nathan explores what grieving could look like instead: more emotional permission, more nervous-system awareness, more communal accompaniment, and fewer timelines imposed on love.This conversation is for people who are grieving, for those who support grievers, and for anyone who has sensed that something about how we handle grief isn’t working.You can download your free grief journal ⁠here⁠.Send your Grief Confessional ⁠here⁠.And contribute to the show ⁠here⁠.

Ep. 26 Selysa Love on Choosing a Slower Life 13.01.2026 50min

Reiki Master, Grief Specialist, Performance Artist, and former Full-Time Grievers CoHost, Selysa Love talks about stepping away from the show and what it took to honour herself and her own growth and healing above all else.To find out more about Selysa's work go here.To see Selysa's TEDx Talk go here.You can download your free grief journal ⁠here⁠.Send your Grief Confessional ⁠here⁠.And contribute to the show ⁠here⁠.

Ep. 25 A Seasonal Portal 22.12.2025 19min

A threshold episode. Honouring how we began and looking ahead to where Full-Time Grievers is going in Season 2 and beyond. The episode closes with a short grounding practice and a seasonal blessing for anyone moving through grief at the end of the year.You can download your free grief journal here.Send your Grief Confessional here.And contribute to the show here.

Ep. 24 Holidays Hurt: Grieving When Everyone Seems Happy 01.12.2025 47min

While the world turns up the sparkle, gatherings increase, and social media floods with picture-perfect celebrations, grief can feel more isolating than ever.In this episode, we explore:💛 How to use the holidays as a potent time for grief work. 💛 Finding your balance between isolation stress and social overwhelm. 💛 The neurochemistry of connection — and how it can soften the season💛 Permission to opt out, slow down, rest more, or be delightfully “Grinchy”💛 How to design a holiday experience that meets your needs — not anyone else’sWe’re grateful you’re here. You’re not alone 🤍Free Download:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ How to Receive Support While Grieving⁠

Ep. 23 Guided Grief Journaling: Acute Grief in the First Year 10.11.2025 19min

Selysa and Nathan offer another session of journal prompts to support the listener in consciously attending to and expressing specific elements of grief. You can pause the episode and write along with each prompt, and/or pick and choose from the options throughout. If you’ve been looking for ways to let more grieving out, this is for you. (Companion to episode 18.)Free Download:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ How to Receive Support While Grieving⁠

Ep. 22 The Price of Numbness: When You Don’t Grieve 22.10.2025 41min

We’ve all said it — “I’m fine.”But what’s the real cost of staying “fine” when we’re not? In this episode, Nathan and Selysa explore the physical, emotional, and relational consequences of suppressed grief — the kind we avoid, bury, or rationalize away.Together, they unpack how grief gets stored in the body, why we sometimes can’t feel until it’s safe to, and how numbness becomes both protection and prison. This is a conversation about what happens when we don’t grieve — and how we can begin to feel again, gently and safely.Free Download:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ How to Receive Support While Grieving⁠

Ep. 21 Rebecca Finegloss - Grieve Leave (foundation) 29.09.2025 44min

We're back!Nathan and Selysa head into uncharted territory for many full-time grievers – actually having time set aside for grieving. Starting with the concept that writer and grief advocate, Rebecca Finegloss, calls Grieve Leave, and exploring the macro and micro opportunities from there for making time to be with our process, as well as the emotional terrain around it all – this episode is about how we can make time and space to let grief out and let resourcing in.Free Download:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ How to Receive Support While Grieving⁠

Ep. 20 Angry at God, Doctors, or the Dead? Forgiving in Grief 30.06.2025 17min

This is the second part of the conversation from episode 16 - You Don’t Owe Forgiveness, so Why Offer it? When someone dies, anger often follows. We can find ourselves blaming doctors, family members, even God—or the person who died. In this episode, we talk about the messy, honest process of acknowledging blame, feeling the anger, and finding our way to forgiveness in grief. Free Download:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ How to Receive Support While Grieving⁠

Ep. 19 Grieving an Abuser: The Key to Healing? 09.06.2025 32min

What happens when the person you're grieving also hurt you?In this episode of Full-Time Grievers, Selysa shares her deeply personal experience navigating grief after ending abusive relationships—including with her parents—and the emotional complexity of mourning people who caused harm. Together with co-host Nathan, they explore what Selysa calls “forbidden grief,” the kind of mourning our culture denies us because the person we lost was abusive, toxic, or harmful.Selysa speaks candidly about the shame, isolation, and confusion that often accompany this grief—and how giving ourselves permission to feel the full spectrum of emotions is essential to healing and breaking cycles of abuse.This conversation offers validation, guidance, and a new language for survivors, supporters, and anyone confronting the messy intersections of love, loss, harm, and healing.Free Download:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ How to Receive Support While Grieving⁠

Ep. 18 Guided Grief Journaling: Emotional Processing 26.05.2025 21min

If you're experiencing acute grief or struggling to process overwhelming emotions, this interactive journaling episode is for you. Selysa & Nathan will gently guide you through a process of identifying, validating, and expressing your feelings. We'll explore the physical manifestations of your emotions and conclude with a moment of comforting self-touch.Free Download:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ How to Receive Support While Grieving⁠

Ep. 17 The Beauty in Grief 12.05.2025 41min

Not as a way to side-step or bypass our grief, but sometimes, even as we are allowing, fostering, and following our grieving process, we have moments of also getting to witness profound and moving beauty. Because these moments can happen in between, alongside, or even as a direct result of our mourning, in this episode Nathan and Selysa spend some time talking about how we can allow, welcome, and even cultivate them. This is a tender celebration of some of the gifts that come along with all that we may lose in bereavement, and an encouragement to let ourselves receive them. (If you are sharing this with someone earlier in their grieving process, please consider a different episode.) Free Download:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ How to Receive Support While Grieving⁠

Ep. 16 You Don’t Owe Forgiveness - So Why Offer It? 28.04.2025 34min

What if forgiveness isn’t something you owe — but something you offer to free yourself? In this episode, we explore forgiveness as a radical act of self-love, not a requirement to reconcile or tolerate mistreatment.We talk about what it means to forgive someone who has died, especially if the relationship was complicated or painful. We also dive into the tender process of forgiving yourself — for what you did, didn’t do, or wish you had done.Using the lens of compassion and the “always do your best” mindset, we unpack how forgiveness can be a powerful tool for healing grief, not bypassing it.------ Free Download:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ How to Receive Support While Grieving⁠

Ep. 15 Grieving Intervals, Orientations, and Tasks 14.04.2025 1t 9min

As a companion to Episode 4, Debunking the 5 Stages of Grief, Nathan and Selysa delve into other ways of relating to the different periods and processes in grieving. Drawing from the three intervals and four orientations described in Conscious Grieving by Claire Bidwell Smith, as well as Psychologist J. William Worden’s “4 Tasks of Mourning” framework. A highly useful resource in orienting to your grief, especially if you’re wondering if you’re “doing it wrong.” Free Download:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ How to Receive Support While Grieving⁠

Ep. 14 When The Support Drops Off: Grieve Out Loud 31.03.2025 55min

This episode can help prepare you, the griever, for the inevitable drop in support that will likely happen within six months of your loved one passing away. What do you do when your support system has run out of capacity, but you are still grieving? 1. Kindly communicate that you are still grieving, including boundaries around your time and commitments. 2. Get the support you need in a long term sustainable way. Free Download:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ How to Receive Support While Grieving⁠