Autistic and ADHD Kids Parenting Strategies: Every Brain is Different

The Neurodivergent Family Road Trip Survival Guide | Ep. 169 08.06.2026 27min

Samantha and Lauren introduce a multi-part series on road tripping, focusing in this episode on strategies for smoother car travel, especially for kids with autism. They explain why road trips are hard-loss of routine and predictability, sensory overload, limited autonomy, sibling noise conflicts, motion sickness, and movement needs—and emphasize that success is about regulation, not perfection. Tips include planning seating ahead of time, packing comfort items and regulation tools first (headphones, sunglasses, weighted items, fidgets), keeping snacks and water accessible, using GPS timing to reduce “are we there yet,” creating visual roadmaps/schedules, practicing expectations, building in movement breaks, and watching early meltdown signs.

How to Help Your Child With Dyslexia and Dysgraphia with Daniela Feldhausen | Ep. 168 01.06.2026 26min

Samantha and Lauren interview Daniella Feldhausen, a former DC attorney who founded Kids Up Reading Tutors after earning a master’s in special education and focusing on helping children with reading and spelling challenges, including dyslexia and dysgraphia. Daniella explains that her team tailors one-on-one, high-dosage tutoring (multiple sessions per week) based on a detailed skills evaluation rather than relying on a diagnosis, aiming to help students catch up quickly and build confidence.

Why Good Kids Get Bad Grades: Becoming Your Child’s Ally with Linda Silbert | Ep. 167 25.05.2026 29min

Samantha and Lauren interviews Dr. Linda Silbert of Strong Learning Incorporated about supporting neurodivergent learners and reframing bad grades as symptoms rather than reasons for punishment. Dr. Silbert urges parents to stop blaming children or schools, become detectives about root causes (academic, social, emotional, bullying, sensory, or anxiety), and approach teachers and IEP meetings collaboratively. She emphasizes repairing parent-child friction by apologizing, listening, and teaching practical study skills in short, effective bursts rather than long sessions, noting that stress can make students “blank” during tests. Dr. Silbert describes gamifying reading intervention, using card-deck games, fluency activities, and plays aligned with Orton-Gillingham, to reduce anxiety, build confidence, and improve reading, and shares resources including her new book Why Good Kids Get Bad Grades.

Why Your Child Holds It Together at School, Then Explodes at Home (And How Masking Plays a Role) | Ep. 166 18.05.2026 18min

Samantha and Lauren discuss how neurodivergent children may mask at school or other settings: suppressing stims, sensory distress, and authentic behavior to appear “typical” and then have meltdowns at home because home feels safest, a pattern also described as after-school restraint collapse. They emphasize that these explosions are nervous system and stress responses, not manipulation, and that chronic masking drains executive functioning and can leave kids in fight-or-flight. The episode outlines signs a child may be struggling at school (shutdowns, irritability, control-seeking, sibling conflict, isolation, increased PDA behaviors, avoiding help, and even not using the bathroom) and suggests ways to reduce nervous system load and improve safety at school through sensory-friendly routines, supportive accommodations, authenticity at home, and self-advocacy skills, while avoiding forced eye contact, dismissing concerns, over-scheduling, and rewarding extreme compliance.

Why Your Child ‘Falls Apart’ at Home (But Not at School) | Ep. 165 11.05.2026 24min

Samantha and Lauren open by discussing mom guilt and the importance of giving yourself grace when you miss commitments, lose your cool, or have hard parenting moments, emphasizing that apologies and tomorrow-as-a-reset matter. They then explain masking: children, especially neurodivergent kids, may hold it together at school and unravel at home because home is emotionally safe, not because parents are doing something wrong or the child is being manipulative. They describe how cognitive fatigue (executive-function demands), emotional exhaustion (managing expectations, social stress, fear of trouble, rejection sensitivity), and sensory overload (noise, lights, clothing discomfort) accumulate during the day, leaving kids with no capacity for even small demands like “How was your day?” They note masking can also differ between co-parents, and suggest school accommodations (movement, no forced eye contact, IEP/504 supports) and coping skills, with next week focused on making school feel safer.

How to Handle Finances When You Have ADHD with Julian Kohlbrand | Ep. 164 04.05.2026 31min

Samantha and Lauren interview Julianne Kohlbrand, an ADHD financial coach who became debt-free after $107,000 in consumer debt and a later-in-life ADHD diagnosis at 42, and now helps neurodivergent families simplify money management. Julianne shares how motherhood intensified overwhelm and led to her diagnosis, and explains that neurodivergent people often need different, less perfection-driven approaches than strict dollar-by-dollar budgets. Key strategies include giving yourself grace, automating bills, weekly calendar check-ins, reducing tempting triggers (like removing budget apps), using visuals and a “would you rather” gamified decision tool, and adding accountability partners while avoiding shame through agreed budgets and separate “fun money” line items for each spouse. They discuss impulse spending, the 24-hour cart rule, a separate email for bills, and ways to teach kids about money through open conversation, goal-setting, savings accounts, and age-based paid home tasks.

Why are Neurodivergent People Literal Thinkers? | Ep. 163 27.04.2026 22min

Samantha and Lauren discuss why many neurodivergent people may interpret language literally and communicate more directly, which neurotypical people can misread as rude. They define literal thinking as interpreting exact words rather than implied meaning, sarcasm, or social context, and share examples such as misunderstandings around figurative phrases (“break a leg”), social pleasantries (“we should hang out sometime”), sarcasm (“nice job”), vague directions (“do the dishes” vs. “clean the kitchen”), and hidden social rules (“make yourself at home”). They explain contributing factors, including a preference for clarity and precision, pragmatic language differences, cognitive load, and predictive processing theories, then outline the benefits of direct language (less confusion, faster problem-solving, clearer boundaries, less social exhaustion).

What is the difference between ADHD and Auditory Processing Disorder? | Ep. 162 20.04.2026 25min

Samantha and Lauren discuss how ADHD and Central Auditory Processing Disorder (APD) can look similar, distractibility, not following directions, zoning out, school struggles, but involve different underlying challenges: ADHD affects attention regulation and executive functioning, while APD involves difficulty processing spoken information despite normal hearing. They share examples and comparisons (e.g., difficulty in noisy classrooms, frequently saying “what,” slow verbal response time, mishearing similar words, and doing better with written/visual instructions), note that ineffective ADHD medication may indicate APD, and describe how APD can be supported with classroom microphones, hearing aids that modulate timing rather than amplify sound, reduced background noise, extra processing time, and checking understanding. They encourage parents to advocate for evaluations through pediatricians and appropriate specialists, use practical supports like one-step directions and routines, and provide positive feedback since neurodivergent kids receive disproportionate negative feedback.

What is the Difference Between Sensory Processing Disorder and Autism? | Ep. 161 13.04.2026 21min

Samantha and Lauren discuss sensory processing disorder (SPD) versus autism spectrum disorder, explaining what SPD is, where it overlaps with autism, and why sensory challenges alone do not mean autism; they note ADHD can also include sensory differences. They define SPD as difficulty detecting, modulating, or interpreting sensory input and emphasize it is used clinically but is not in the DSM-5, which can limit insurance resources, comparing this to PDA and sharing an example of a bipolar misdiagnosis used to access care. They define autism by social communication differences and restrictive/repetitive behaviors, with sensory reactivity included in criteria, and describe sensory patterns (hyperreactivity, hyporeactivity, and sensory seeking) with everyday examples. They recommend supports such as reducing sensory load, previewing transitions, offering choices (clothing, ear protection, movement breaks), tracking triggers, pursuing occupational therapy evaluations, and prioritizing function over label.

What to Know About Women and ADHD with Dr. Gilly Kahn | Ep. 160 06.04.2026 26min

Samantha welcomes back psychologist, mom, and writer Dr. Gilly Khan to discuss her book Allow Me to Interrupt, which focuses on emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) in females with ADHD. Dr. Kahn explains how she approaches families seeking or newly receiving an ADHD diagnosis, including considering psychological testing, consulting a psychiatrist, and discussing family preferences around medication and stigma. She describes how emotional dysregulation is strongly tied to ADHD but not included in DSM-5-TR criteria, cites Russell Barkley’s advocacy, and outlines what is known and less researched about RSD as popularized by William Dodson. Dr. Khan also discusses balancing ADHD strengths and challenges through accommodations, highlights the role of estrogen and dopamine across the female lifespan, and notes comorbidities such as migraines and their links to hormones and dopamine.

What is the Difference Between a 504 and an IEP? | Ep. 159 30.03.2026 27min

Samantha and Lauren explain key differences between 504 accommodation plans and IEPs to help parents know what to request when a child struggles at school. They describe how unsupported neurodivergent kids may be mislabeled as misbehaving, defiant, lazy, or unmotivated, and emphasize that children need an environment that works with their brain, not to “try harder.” A 504 plan is generally easier to obtain, doesn’t require a diagnosis, and provides accommodations (e.g., extra test time, movement breaks, preferential seating, reduced homework, sensory supports) within general education without specialized instruction. An IEP adds individualized goals, specialized instruction, related services (speech, OT, PT, music therapy), possible pullout support, progress tracking, and stricter eligibility based on assessment and educational impact. They advise requesting evaluations in writing, asking questions in meetings, pushing back when needed, and being a persistent advocate in an under-resourced system.

Why Are Autistic Kids Labeled as Rigid? (Part 2) | Ep. 158 23.03.2026 21min

Samantha and Lauren continue their discussion on why autistic and ADHD kids may seem like rigid thinkers, focusing on their need for clear rules and consistent expectations to feel regulated and safe. They explain how inconsistent enforcement or differing rules across households can create confusion, dysregulation, and even meltdowns, and suggest strategies like clearly explaining why rules differ, writing down major house rules for caregivers, and building routines that allow exceptions without breaking the “system.” They reframe “rigid” as a misunderstanding of neurodivergent needs for structure, predictability, and clarity, noting that different processes can still lead to the same outcome. The hosts emphasize supporting structure with advance notice, clear expectations, predictable routines, and choice within structure, while teaching flexibility and coping skills when calm.\

Why are Autistic Kids Labeled as Rigid? (Part 1) | Ep. 157 16.03.2026 19min

Samantha and Lauren begin a two-part discussion on why autistic people are often labeled “rigid.” They argue the label frequently reflects a neurotypical expectation that others should do things “the correct way,” while autistic people may rely on predictability for clarity, structure, and safety. Using a “manual vs. automatic transmission” analogy, they explain how unclear expectations increase cognitive load and anxiety, which can look like inflexibility or lead to meltdowns. They reframe routines (same breakfast, clothes, routes) as regulation and efficiency, emphasize giving kids autonomy where possible, and suggest strategies like alternating choices in therapy or “sandwiching” hard tasks between preferred ones. They note most environments are built for neurotypical processing, so routines act as scaffolding for navigating sensory and social unpredictability, and they will continue the remaining segments next week.

Is Medication Right for Your Autistic/ADHD Child? | Ep. 156 09.03.2026 22min

In this episode, Samantha and Lauren talk about one of the most common and controversial questions parents ask when raising neurodivergent kids: whether children with ADHD, anxiety, or executive functioning challenges should take medication. They discuss why medication decisions can feel so heavy for parents and emphasize that every brain is different, so what works for one child may not work for another. Samantha and Lauren explain how medication can sometimes help regulate an overwhelmed nervous system and act as a “pattern interrupter,” allowing kids to better learn coping, emotional regulation, and executive functioning skills. They also talk honestly about the downsides, including potential side effects and the trial-and-error process of finding the right medication and dosage. Throughout the conversation, they remind parents that medication is not a magic fix and should be viewed as one tool in a larger toolbox that also includes supportive parenting, environmental supports, therapy, and skill-building. Ultimately, the goal is not to tell parents what decision to make, but to help them feel informed and confident as they work with medical professionals to choose what’s best for their child.

How Does Connection Change Behavior for Autistic and ADHD Kids? | Ep. 155 02.03.2026 24min

Samantha and Lauren share Samantha’s experience competing for Mrs. Idaho to encourage parents, especially those raising neurodivergent kids, not to feel guilty for doing something for themselves with the right support. They then discuss choosing “real connection” with a child over society’s idea of “right connection,” emphasizing that behavior improves when children feel connected, safe, and understood, and that a dysregulated nervous system can’t learn or be reasoned with. They explain how typical expectations like eye contact, loud praise, adult-led conversation, or insisting on “proper” responses can backfire, and encourage observing needs (hunger, tiredness, overstimulation, anxiety, masking) before correcting. They suggest supporting regulation through reduced demands, co-regulation, sensory-aware environments, predictability, and joining a child’s interests, and invite listeners to a free Parenting the Child You Have online summit on March 13.

Is It Normal to Grieve After Your Child’s Autism or ADHD Diagnosis? | Ep. 154 with Suzanne Jabour 23.02.2026 30min

Samantha and Lauren welcome certified grief educator and coach Suzanne Jabour to the podcast to discuss grief beyond bereavement, particularly the grief parents may feel after a child’s diagnosis. They explore how grieving the loss of an imagined future does not reflect a lack of love for a child, and how acknowledging emotions can help parents more fully accept and support their kids. Suzanne shares her perspective that diagnoses and labels can be embraced as practical tools to access educational and government systems, resources, and advocacy leverage, even when the label may evolve over time; she also describes her own experience advocating for her son Ben’s needs in school and the importance of being emotionally clear when entering challenging meetings like IEPs. Suzanne offers strategies for moving through ongoing and situational grief, including allowing “hot mess” moments, using a feelings wheel to name nuanced emotions so they can move, finding spaces to be witnessed, and preparing emotionally before difficult conversations to show up empowered. They also discuss the ongoing grief parents feel when neurodivergent children are excluded or mistreated, and Suzanne suggests balancing vigilance with intentionally noticing “glimmers” or micro-joys, small moments of acceptance and safety.

How Can Clothing Support Emotional Regulation in Kids? | Ep. 153 16.02.2026 20min

In this episode, Samantha and Lauren discuss strategies for parenting neurodivergent children, particularly focusing on issues related to clothing. They share personal anecdotes and emphasize the importance of giving children autonomy over their clothing choices. This can help build their identity, confidence, and ability to navigate the world more successfully. Samantha and Lauren provide practical tips such as buying multiples of favorite clothing items, prioritizing sensory comfort over aesthetics, and involving kids in the shopping process while managing their overwhelm with choices. They also advocate for allowing children to wear unconventional outfits as a way to foster self-expression and emotional regulation.

Why Do Neurodivergent Kids Ignore New Clothes? | Ep. 152 09.02.2026 19min

In this episode, Samantha and Lauren talk about the patterns of clothing preferences in children with autism and ADHD. They discuss common scenarios where children suddenly favor previously ignored clothes and share insights from an occupational therapist on managing these behaviors. The conversation encompasses practical strategies from other parents, the importance of sensory safety, and the impact of new clothing on a child's nervous system. Emphasizing the need for comfort over social expectations, they address the pressures parents face and offer solutions for creating a stress-free clothing environment for neurodivergent children.

Can Simple Sensory Inputs Interrupt an Anxiety Spiral? (Featuring our Guest: Ryan Miele and Turbobo!) | Ep. 151 02.02.2026 20min

Samantha and Lauren talk with Ryan Miele, the creator of the Tubrbobo Relief. Ryan describes how Turbobo features five clinically-proven elements to reduce anxiety by targeting physiological symptoms, including a weighted body, fidget tail, tactile ear patches, and customizable sensory inserts. The conversation highlights the product's success in over 400 schools across the US and positive testimonials, such as its calming effect on students. He also emphasizes the importance of using stress-relief tools proactively and shares insights into his foundational research, mentorship experiences, and how Turbobo can help individuals of all ages find calmness and focus in their daily lives.

Shoving the Shoulds We Carry as Neurodivergent Parents with Jessica Frew | Ep. 150 26.01.2026 16min

Jessica Frew is back with her book, 'Shove Your Shoulds,' focusing on the unique challenges faced by neurodivergent parents. Samantha, Lauren, and Jessica discuss the emotional struggles of navigating family dynamics and the societal expectations of parenting. Jessica introduces the concept of 'mini grief' and the importance of acknowledging and processing these emotions without guilt. Emphasizing the need to release unhelpful stories and pressures, she encourages parents to let relationships develop naturally and on their own terms, fostering a safe and empowering environment for their children. Jessica also highlights the significance of redefining success and happiness for both parents and children, breaking away from conditional programming and societal benchmarks. She reassures parents that they are doing enough and underscores the importance of grace, love, and acceptance, both for themselves and their children.