When Our Adult Children Walk Away

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  Unconditional Love Doesn’t Mean Unconditional Participation (Audio Only) 20.09.2026 51min

  Unconditional love and a reciprocal relationship are not the same thing. Importantly, participation in a relationship is each individual's choice. In this conversation, Dr. Janet and Brianna sit with why that difference matters so much in estrangement. We can love someone unconditionally as an individual. We are not able to build a healthy relationship with them on our own. Both people must choose to participate because a reciprocal relationship asks both people to show up, to define boundari...
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  The Power and Influence of Significant Others: Influence, Ultimatums, and Estranged Adult Children 06.09.2026 16min

  A partner. A friend. A therapist. A faith community. Sometimes a voice online we will never meet. When our adult child begins to pull away, we often find ourselves searching for the person who changed them. In this episode, Dr. Janet Steinkamp looks honestly at the influence other people hold in our adult children’s lives, including the ultimatums that can feel impossible, and gently offers a different question to ask. In This Episode • Why who turned your adult child against us ...
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  The Science and Art of Communication: Humility vs Humiliation 23.08.2026 57min

  Episode summary Humility and humiliation sit so close together that we often feel them in the same breath. In this conversation, Dr. Janet Steinkamp and her daughter Brianna gently pull the two apart. One is a choice we make, openness, curiosity, a willingness to keep learning. The other is something we feel, shamed, diminished, our dignity on the line. Together they walk through what it actually takes to set humiliation down, and why humility turns out to be the stronger place to stand...
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  We Raised Them For A World We Couldn't See 09.08.2026 21min

  The world our adult children grew up in is not the world we grew up in. The economy shifted. The technology shifted. The pace, the pressure, the rules for building a stable life, all of it moved while we weren’t looking. In this episode, Dr. Janet Steinkamp steps back from the arguments and the hurt feelings to ask a bigger question. Not what our adult children believe, but what world shaped them, and why understanding that changes everything. In This Episode • Why the ground gen...
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  The Message Behind the Message (Audio Only) | After Hours Series 20.07.2026 15min

  When a message arrives from an estranged adult child, the first read is rarely the real one. The words on the page are filtered through pain, through other voices, through timing, and through emotions that have been building for a long time. In this After Hours episode, Dr. Janet Steinkamp and her daughter Brianna take one of the most discussed topics from Virtual Office Hours and open it up: how to decode what is actually being communicated, and why the message on the surface is almost never...
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  Are We Really Listening? The Difference Between Hearing and Being Present (Audio Only) 05.07.2026 16min

  Are we really listening — or just waiting for your turn to speak? There’s a difference between hearing and listening that most of us never stop to examine, and in estrangement, that difference can be the distance between repair and permanent disconnection. In this episode of When Our Adult Children Walk Away, Dr. Janet Steinkamp breaks down what active listening truly requires, why passive listening causes more damage than we realize, and what it looks like to listen in a way that...
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  After Hours from Virtual Office Hours on May 24th, 2026 - Why aren't' they responding? (Audio Only) 23.06.2026 20min

  Are you an estranged parent who finds themselves asking the same question over and over... "Why isn’t my message landing the way I intend?" Or, "Why isn't (adult child) responding?" In this first After Hours Series episode, Dr. Janet Steinkamp and her daughter Brianna take the most urgent issue from their inaugural Virtual Office Hours on May 24th, 2026 and share it here: what we say, how we say it, and why it matters more than most parents realize. This isn’t a conversation about findi...
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  Is Social Media Making Estrangement Worse? What the Research Actually Says 08.06.2026 10min

  Welcome back to When Our Adult Children Walk Away, a podcast dedicated to one of the most painful, and one of the least talked-about, experiences a family can go through: estrangement. I'm Dr. Janet Steinkamp. No guilt. No shame. No blame. Social media did not cause your estrangement. But it may be making it feel more permanent, more absolute, and harder to resolve. In this episode, Dr. Janet Steinkamp breaks down what current research says about the role social media platforms play in ...
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  When It Was Us Part 3; The Way Back (audio only) 24.05.2026 52min

  In Part 3 of the three-part series, When It Was Us, Dr. Janet Steinkamp and her daughter Brianna step into the sacred, complicated territory so many families long to understand: what actually happens when an estranged adult child comes back. Not the Hollywood version. Not the social-media version. The real one. The email that didn't mention their relationship at all. The first face-to-face meeting where ground rules were set, voices were raised, and a single sentence about money decided wheth...
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  When It Was Us — Episode 2: The Silence (audio only) 12.05.2026 33min

  What happens in the years right before an adult child walks away — and what does the silence that follows actually feel like, from both sides? In Part Two of When It Was Us, Dr. Janet Steinkamp and her daughter Brianna go into the hardest part of their story: the years after Bri graduated from college, the slow accumulation of stress and shame that pushed her to her breaking point, the conversation that finally cracked everything open, and the three years they didn't speak. This i...
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  When It Was Us - Episode 1: How We Got Here (audio only) 26.04.2026 31min

  What does estrangement actually look like before it happens? In this deeply personal episode, Dr. Janet Steinkamp does something she has never done before — she opens up about her own estrangement, inviting her daughter Brianna to join her for a candid, unfiltered conversation about the years that led up to Bri walking away from their family. This is Part One of a three-part series. Together, Janet and Bri go back to the very beginning — tracing the roots of their disconnect through childhood...
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  OMG They're back! Now what do I do?? How do I know if I'm ready? 12.04.2026 37min

  In this episode of When Our Adult Children Walk Away, you’ll walk through one of the most fragile and hopeful moments in estrangement: when your adult child reaches out. Whether it’s a short text, a knock on your door, or a message passed through a family member, Dr. Janet Steinkamp helps you see this tiny gesture for what it really is—a careful test of safety. You’ll learn why urgency is not your friend in these early days and how to slow yourself down so you don’t accidentally overwhe...
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  Parental Estrangement and Acceptance: Finding Your Way From Rejection to Renewal 29.03.2026 25min

  In this episode of When Our Adult Children Walk Away, you’ll explore what comes after the slog through the first three swirling stages of grief. After the shock, anger, and despair have swirled for a while, you're likely to find yourself so exhausted that you're ready to move out of the darkest days. Dr. Janet walks with you through the courageous decision to move from the dark abyss of pain, resentment and heartbreak into a place where you acknowledge the facts of the situation and choose to...
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  The Emotional Nexus of Parental Estrangement: Rejection 15.03.2026 25min

  In this episode of When Our Adult Children Walk Away, Dr. Steinkamp takes a gentle but honest look at one of the most painful aspects of estrangement: the deep sting of rejection. When our adult child pulls away - slowly or suddenly - it can turn daily life upside down. The decision to step away can shake a parent’s identity, confidence, and every memory about the relationship. No matter where an estranged relationship with your adult child sits on the Continuum of Estrangement, the pai...
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  Aligning Your Communication With Your Adult Child's Perceptions 17.02.2026 24min

  It’s natural to feel compelled to reach out to fix things at every level of estrangement. We’ve been taught to pursue, talk, challenge, and perhaps even expect certain aspects of a relationship with our adult child. You want closeness, but every “fix it” attempt seems to push your adult child farther away. The tension escalates, accusations worsen, and hurtful words or actions become more personal. It makes no sense, and the confusion turns to helplessness. Well-intentioned friends, fam...
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  Dad and Grampa: Navigating Estrangement Across Generations 31.01.2026 18min

  Being a strong and steady father to an adult child and a grounded grandfather to their children matters deeply, especially in families experiencing tension or any level of estrangement. The importance isn’t about control or authority, it’s about regulations, emotional safety and continuity across generations. In this episode, you’ll better appreciate the challenges and importance of recognizing boundaries. This is the first step toward respectfully engaging with grandchildren when you and the...
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  When Estrangement Shakes Our Faith: How loss, silence, and longing can impact spirituality. 18.01.2026 11min

  When someone is living with any degree of estrangement, it can feel as though everything they once believed to be true about the relationship has shifted, including their faith. In this episode, Dr. Janet Steinkamp explores how estrangement from an adult child can unsettle long-held beliefs and erode spiritual confidence. Practices that once offered comfort, such as prayer, meditation, or worship, may feel hollow or met with painful silence. A person may feel grounded one day and shaken the n...
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  Mom, Mentor, Grandma: Flexing Roles Without Fueling the Fire of Estrangement 11.01.2026 40min

  The days of straightforward expectations about how moms transition from being a child's mom to mom to an adult child, and finally, from mom to a grandparent, are long gone. The challenge of understanding our adult children's expectations is real. More and more often, moms tell me that as their adult children became independent, they thought they knew how to relate to and communicate with them effectively. They thought they were doing things and interacting with their adult children and grandc...
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  Stillness, Space & Grace: Surviving Estranged Holidays 21.12.2025 37min

  The winter holidays can shine a harsh spotlight on your estrangement, can’t they? While everyone else seems to be posting perfect family photos, you’re left wondering how to get through the season when your family table isn’t complete. In this episode, Stillness, Space, and Grace, I'll walk you through the emotional landmines of “high-risk days” such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, and other meaningful holidays. We’ll explore why the holidays intensify grief for parents of estranged adults, what ...
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  The Unrest of Not Knowing: Letting Go of The Need for Certainty in Estrangement 07.12.2025 27min

  You’re not crazy for wanting answers—you’re human. It's human nature to want to know how and why things happen. In estrangement, too often the answers don't come, and we are challenged to find closure amid ambiguity. In this episode, I'll walk you through the unrest of not knowing in parent–adult-child estrangement. You’ll hear why many adult children don’t offer explanations (overwhelm, failed attempts to be heard, self-protection, different views of obligation, and shame/guilt). ...