Spanish Practices – Living in Spain: Real Life, Real Spain
John Metson
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John Metson, a former London radio producer, shares his real-life adventures after moving from a Victorian house in Essex to a tiny flat in an Andalusian village. He recounts his encounters with celebrities like Richard Hammond and J.K. Rowling, and offers a brash, colorful perspective on life in Spain. The podcast blends personal anecdotes with observations about Spanish culture, sometimes fictionalizing events for effect.
Episódios
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Are You Living in Spain… or Just Living in a Little Britain? Real Life, Real Spain, Andalusia 16.09.2026 8minAm I really living in Spain — or have I simply created a little Britain in the sunshine? In this episode, I'll explore what integration really means, from language and Spanish culture to friendship, acceptance and belonging. I'll ask why so many expats stay inside familiar British bubbles — and whether that can quietly limit our happiness and wellbeing. I'll also look at the reality of being an outsider, accepting that Spain will sometimes frustrate us, and finding peace with the things we may never fully understand. Because moving to Spain isn't just a change of country — it can be an opportunity to change the way we live, think and feel. -
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition… in America! 🇪🇸🇺🇸 Real Life in Spain Andalusia 12.09.2026 16minThink the Spanish Inquisition was something that happened in a dark corner of old Europe? Think again. Spain's infamous religious police crossed the Atlantic — and its reach extended into territories that are now part of the United States. In Episode 204, I uncover the surprisingly American story of the Inquisition: the denunciations, secret accusations, torture, confiscated fortunes and spectacular public punishments — and discover what it was actually doing in places like Florida, California and New Mexico. And yes, there's even a Monty Python connection. The Spanish Inquisition came to America. Nobody expected that. -
Moving to Spain? Let AI Do Your Homework - Real Life, Andalusia 09.09.2026 12minMoving to Spain? Don't buy that dream home just yet! 🇪🇸 Could AI save you from making an expensive mistake when buying property in Spain? John Metson discovers how AI can investigate Spanish estate agents, solicitors, directors, reviews, town halls, local news, planning issues and even the Spanish bureaucracy. But there's a catch: AI can be spectacularly wrong. So how do you use AI for Spanish property research and due diligence without getting fooled by the machine — or the estate agent? Before you send that deposit, let AI do your homework. A quick EU compliance note before we begin. The introduction to this episode deliberately uses an AI-generated version of my voice, created using ElevenLabs. The words, opinions and content are mine — the voice you hear just in this introduction has simply been generated using AI. -
The Rescue Donkeys Fighting Spain's Wildfires - Real Life in Spain, Andalusia 05.09.2026 8min🔥 Could a donkey help save your Spanish home from a wildfire? Spain is facing a new generation of wildfires — hotter, faster and increasingly impossible to fight in the traditional way. So what happens when climate change, abandoned countryside and 40°C+ summers collide? And if you're dreaming of buying a home in Spain, should any of this change your plans? In this episode of Spanish Practices, I'll take a look at Spain's terrifying new era of mega-fires, why some fires are now creating their own weather, and the surprising return of an old Spanish hero: the donkey. 🐴 Could millions of grazing animals actually help prevent wildfires? 🏡 Should Americans still be buying property in Spain? 🔥 And why might prevention, rather than firefighting, be the only realistic answer? It's a serious problem — but, as usual, there's a wonderful Spanish twist. And it involves a donkey having breakfast. -
Ceuta is Burning — but should it change your decision to buy a home in Spain? #201 02.09.2026 11minIn this special report, we look at the escalating crisis in Ceuta, the conflicting reports over how many migrants remain, violence on the beaches, people-smuggling boats, Spain's €25 million response, the planned Ceuta Day protests, and the complicated relationship between Spain and Morocco. But what does any of this mean if you're thinking about buying property in Spain? -
Why Americans Get Spain Completely Wrong 29.08.2026 15minThinking of leaving America for the perfect life in Spain? Cheap healthcare, endless sunshine, affordable living and a slower pace of life? Think again. After nearly ten years living in Spain, I will reveal the reality behind the romantic Spanish dream — from 230-volt disasters and language barriers to nudist beaches, Spanish bureaucracy, healthcare, shopping, customer service and a very different attitude to life. Spain can be wonderful. But it isn't America with tapas and better weather. Before you move to Spain, listen to this. AI disclosure: none used -
What's That Smell? The Peculiar World of Spanish Plumbing 26.08.2026 11minWhy Does My Spanish Bathroom Smell? The Plumbing Mystery Explained There comes a moment when you realise you've properly moved to Spain. It's not your first fiesta. It's not ordering a café con leche in Spanish. It's standing in your beautifully clean bathroom, sniffing suspiciously and asking: "Why does that smell of drains?" Welcome to the peculiar world of Spanish plumbing. In this episode of Spanish Practices, I go beneath the tiles to investigate one of those little differences about living in Spain that nobody thinks to mention before you move here. Where's the U-bend under the sink? What's that mysterious round plate in the bathroom floor? Why can an unused shower suddenly start sharing the aroma of the sewer system with the rest of the house? And why does everything start gurgling ominously when the heavens open? We'll discover the Spanish central floor trap, what happens when its water evaporates in the summer heat, why flushing one thing can occasionally upset another — and why the Spanish solution to a smelly drain can sometimes be little more complicated than: "Sí, claro. Hay que echar agua." Then there's the rain. When a proper Spanish downpour arrives, drains gurgle, streets become rivers, communal bins begin migrating downhill and your bathroom suddenly seems emotionally involved in the weather. But perhaps Spanish plumbing isn't necessarily bad plumbing. Perhaps it's plumbing designed for a different climate, a different style of building and a time when nobody imagined quite so much rain. It's another lesson in adapting to real life in Spain. So lift the mysterious round plate, pour some water down the drain and join me for The Great Spanish Plumbing Mystery. Because sometimes living in Spain smells faintly of the underworld. Spanish Practices – Real Life, Real Spain. Revised repeat - EU AI disclosure - none used -
Can You Really Live Rent-Free in Spain in a Motorhome? 22.08.2026 10minLive Rent-Free in Spain? The Motorhome Loophole That Isn't Buy a motorhome. Drive to Spain. Park beside the Mediterranean. Open the door, make a coffee and congratulate yourself on discovering the ultimate way to live in Spain without paying rent. Simple. Except Spain may have a few questions. Motorhome and campervan living is booming, fuelled by rising property prices, scarce rental accommodation and the irresistible idea of swapping the mortgage for a home on wheels. But can you really just park somewhere beautiful and… live there? In this episode of Spanish Practices, I investigate the increasingly popular world of van life in Spain — and the rather important legal difference between parking and camping. Put out your chairs? Camping. Extend the awning? Camping. Start turning a peaceful beachfront car park into a small branch of Glastonbury with chemical toilets? The local Ayuntamiento may take an interest. We'll look at why Spanish coastal towns are tightening the rules, why campsites are increasingly packed, what happens when the Guardia Civil comes knocking and whether living in a motorhome actually saves as much money as you might think. And there's another small problem. Living in a van doesn't make immigration law disappear. If you're actually living in Spain rather than holidaying here — particularly if you're British and subject to post-Brexit rules — visas, residency, healthcare and paperwork still matter. So is motorhome life the ultimate Spanish lifestyle hack? Or is it simply a very committed holiday involving a chemical toilet and the occasional 7am knock on the window? Welcome to van life, Spanish style. Spanish Practices – Real Life, Real Spain. Revised Repeat - EU AI disclosure - none used. -
Goats, Romans & the Spanish Inquisition: Spain in 10 Minutes 19.08.2026 14minThree thousand years of Spanish history. Ten minutes. What could possibly go wrong? In this episode of Spanish Practices, I'm attempting the almost certainly foolish task of explaining the history of Spain without drowning you in kings, dates or men with impressive facial hair pointing at maps. Instead, we're following the ordinary people who didn't make history — they simply had to survive it. Meet Tarek, an Iberian farmer from a town unfortunately called Arse, worrying about his goats in 500 BC. There's Lucius, a Roman laundryman cleaning togas with urine; Aisha, cast out from the splendour of the Alhambra; a nervous merchant in Seville discovering that nobody really does expect the Spanish Inquisition; and a Republican woman learning to whisper after Franco's victory. Along the way we'll squeeze in Iberians, Romans, Visigoths, Al-Andalus, the Reconquista, Columbus, the Spanish Empire, Napoleon, Civil War, dictatorship and Spain's remarkable transition to democracy. Because Spain's history isn't really a neat procession of kings, conquerors and empires. It's a messy 3,000-year story of ordinary people adapting, enduring and surviving while somebody else changes the flag. And somehow, after invasions, empires, civil wars and dictators, Spain is still standing — and still finding an excuse for a fiesta. Spanish Practices – Real Life, Real Spain. Revised Repeat EU AI disclosure final music AI generated Envato/Shutterstock -
Want to Live in Spain? The Digital Nomad Visa Could Be Your Ticket 19.08.2026 14minSpain Wants Digital Nomads – But Is It Really That Simple? Imagine swapping the commute for a laptop overlooking the Mediterranean. Spain has become one of the world's most attractive destinations for remote workers — and its Digital Nomad Visa offers non-EU professionals a legal route to actually live here while working abroad. But before you pack the laptop and sunglasses, there's rather more to it than sunshine and fast broadband. In this episode of Spanish Practices, I look at how Spain's Digital Nomad Visa works, who can apply, the income requirements, bringing your family and the possible route from temporary residence to making Spain your permanent home. We also tackle the bit some glossy relocation websites don't put next to the photograph of somebody working beside a swimming pool: tax. When do you become Spanish tax resident? What is the so-called Beckham Law? What happens if you're self-employed? And why might the words Modelo 720, social security and Spanish bureaucracy eventually have you reaching for something stronger than café con leche? I'll also look at some of the best places to base yourself — from Málaga, Valencia, Barcelona and Madrid to the Canary Islands and Spain's smaller towns — and the realities of housing costs, paperwork and the language barrier. Spain offers sunshine, lifestyle, excellent connectivity and the possibility of building a completely different working life. But it's still Spain — gloriously attractive, occasionally bewildering and never quite as straightforward as the brochure suggests. Spanish Practices – Real Life, Real Spain. Visa and tax rules can change and individual circumstances vary, so always take current professional immigration and tax advice before making financial or residency decisions. Revised Repeat AI disclosure: final music is AI generated Envato/Shutterstock -
Carry on Abroad - The Return of the Package Holiday - Real Life, Real Spain 15.08.2026 17minOR - The Bikini That Changed Spain: How the Package Holiday Conquered the Costas! OR - Bikinis, Benidorm & Brits Abroad: How Tourism Changed Spain How did Spain go from a buttoned-up dictatorship suspicious of bikinis to one of the world's great holiday destinations — and have we now loved it a little too much? In this summer repeat of Spanish Practices, I travel back to the birth of the great British package holiday, when guaranteed sunshine, cheap sangria and a week on the Costa suddenly became affordable to ordinary British families. There's the extraordinary story of the Mayor of Benidorm, a Vespa and the bikini that helped change Spanish tourism; memories of those tantalising 1970s holiday brochures; my own childhood disappointment at swapping the promised glamour of Majorca for a trip to Maldon; and the unstoppable rise of the Brits-abroad package holiday. But then we come back to Spain today. More than 90 million visitors, packed cities and beaches, holiday rentals, housing shortages and increasingly vocal protests against overtourism. Has the industry that transformed modern Spain finally become too successful? From Franco to foreign tourists, Butlin's to Benidorm and the Costa del Bikini to "Tourists Go Home" — it's the extraordinary story of how the package holiday changed Spain, Britain and our relationship with the summer sun. Spanish Practices – Real Life, Real Spain. Revised repeat. AI disclosure - no AI used in this episode. -
Why Everyone in Spain Ends Up Loving Mercadona 12.08.2026 11minEver wondered why Mercadona is often called one of the most profitable supermarkets in the world? In this light-hearted episode of Spanish Practices, we explore its fascinating history—from a humble family butcher's shop in Valencia to a retail powerhouse across Spain. We dive into how Mercadona has reinvented the supermarket experience with energy-efficient stores, hot takeaway food, and even places to sit and eat. Plus, we uncover the story behind the famously catchy Mercadona jingle (sí, that one stuck in your head) and the voice behind it. Expect humour, insights into Spanish shopping culture, and plenty of relatable moments if you've ever gone in for milk and come out with a full basket. Perfect for expats, Spain lovers, and anyone curious about everyday life in Spain. The Mercadona Jingle, composed by Lluís Miquel Campos, vocalist Mamen García, reproduced under UK Fair Dealing Law 1988 Sections 29/30 Revised repeat EU AI Disclosure the final long form music is AI generated by Envato/Shutterstock -
Thunderbirds over Franco's Spain – When British TV Invaded Spain - ExPat life in Andalusia 08.08.2026 11minWhat was it like watching television in Franco's Spain? In this episode of Spanish Practices – Real Life, Real Spain, John looks back at the early days of Spanish TV and the surprising influence of British favourites including Thunderbirds, Captain Scarlet, The Avengers, The Prisoner and Doctor Who. Plus, a personal encounter with Thunderbirds creator Gerry Anderson — and the day Lady Penelope and Parker turned up in a London radio studio. A nostalgic and humorous journey through Spanish television, British TV in Spain and life in 1960s Spain. -
THE SHOCKING BEEHIVE - Episode 5 - A Bolt from the Blue, The Finale - The Marlborough Court Mysteries 05.08.2026 18minA glamorous London television presenter. A deadly accident. Or the perfect murder? Your holiday audiobook from Spanish Practices. When a visit to the exclusive Lady Dorothy Boutique Hair Salon ends with a daytime television star being electrocuted, private detectives Horace Finch and Violet Hart are drawn behind the bright lights of Metrovision, London's weekday television station. Ruled by the charming cigar smoking Lord Arthur, Metrovision is a world of soaring egos, ruthless ambition and carefully guarded secrets. As the suspects multiply, Finch and Hart discover that everyone is performing a role... and someone is prepared to kill to protect the biggest secret of all. The Shocking Beehive is a gripping 1960s British detective mystery packed with vintage television nostalgia, suspense, humour and unexpected twists. Perfect for fans of classic crime fiction, cosy mysteries, radio drama, Poirot and The Thursday Murder Club. -
THE SHOCKING BEEHIVE - Episode 4 - Short Back and Sides - The Marlborough Court Mysteries 04.08.2026 13minA glamorous London television presenter. A deadly accident. Or the perfect murder? Your holiday audiobook from Spanish Practices. When a visit to the exclusive Lady Dorothy Boutique Hair Salon ends with a daytime television star being electrocuted, private detectives Horace Finch and Violet Hart are drawn behind the bright lights of Metrovision, London's weekday television station. Ruled by the charming cigar smoking Lord Arthur, Metrovision is a world of soaring egos, ruthless ambition and carefully guarded secrets. As the suspects multiply, Finch and Hart discover that everyone is performing a role... and someone is prepared to kill to protect the biggest secret of all. The Shocking Beehive is a gripping 1960s British detective mystery packed with vintage television nostalgia, suspense, humour and unexpected twists. Perfect for fans of classic crime fiction, cosy mysteries, radio drama, Poirot and The Thursday Murder Club. -
THE SHOCKING BEEHIVE - Episode 3 - The Blue Nun - The Marlborough Court Mysteries 03.08.2026 15minA glamorous London television presenter. A deadly accident. Or the perfect murder? Your holiday audiobook from Spanish Practices. When a visit to the exclusive Lady Dorothy Boutique Hair Salon ends with a daytime television star being electrocuted, private detectives Horace Finch and Violet Hart are drawn behind the bright lights of Metrovision, London's weekday television station. Ruled by the charming cigar smoking Lord Arthur, Metrovision is a world of soaring egos, ruthless ambition and carefully guarded secrets. As the suspects multiply, Finch and Hart discover that everyone is performing a role... and someone is prepared to kill to protect the biggest secret of all. The Shocking Beehive is a gripping 1960s British detective mystery packed with vintage television nostalgia, suspense, humour and unexpected twists. Perfect for fans of classic crime fiction, cosy mysteries, radio drama, Poirot and The Thursday Murder Club. -
THE SHOCKING BEEHIVE - Episode 2 - Have You Tried Radio? - The Marlborough Court Mysteries 02.08.2026 7minA glamorous London television presenter. A deadly accident. Or the perfect murder? Your holiday audiobook from Spanish Practices. When a visit to the exclusive Lady Dorothy Boutique Hair Salon ends with a daytime television star being electrocuted, private detectives Horace Finch and Violet Hart are drawn behind the bright lights of Metrovision, London's weekday television station. Ruled by the charming cigar smoking Lord Arthur, Metrovision is a world of soaring egos, ruthless ambition and carefully guarded secrets. As the suspects multiply, Finch and Hart discover that everyone is performing a role... and someone is prepared to kill to protect the biggest secret of all. The Shocking Beehive is a gripping 1960s British detective mystery packed with vintage television nostalgia, suspense, humour and unexpected twists. Perfect for fans of classic crime fiction, cosy mysteries, radio drama, Poirot and The Thursday Murder Club. -
THE SHOCKING BEEHIVE - Episode 1 - Miss Helena Hart! - The Marlborough Court Mysteries 01.08.2026 18minA glamorous London television presenter. A deadly accident. Or the perfect murder? Your holiday audiobook from Spanish Practices. When a visit to the exclusive Lady Dorothy Boutique Hair Salon ends with a daytime television star being electrocuted, private detectives Horace Finch and Violet Hart are drawn behind the bright lights of Metrovision, London's weekday television station. Ruled by the charming cigar smoking Lord Arthur, Metrovision is a world of soaring egos, ruthless ambition and carefully guarded secrets. As the suspects multiply, Finch and Hart discover that everyone is performing a role... and someone is prepared to kill to protect the biggest secret of all. The Shocking Beehive is a gripping 1960s British detective mystery packed with vintage television nostalgia, suspense, humour and unexpected twists. Perfect for fans of classic crime fiction, cosy mysteries, radio drama, Poirot and The Thursday Murder Club. Production Note: The continuity announcer, Alistair Beauchamp-Smythe, is performed using AI voice technology. This has been disclosed in accordance with the transparency requirements of the EU AI Act. -
The Gruesome Prisons of Franco's Spain 29.07.2026 9minWhat was life really like inside Franco's Spanish prisons? As Busman's Holiday reached its dramatic conclusion, we step away from the beaches of the Costa del Sol and behind the walls of one of the darkest chapters in modern Spanish history. In this special episode of Spanish Practices, we explore the harsh reality of Spanish prisons under General Franco's dictatorship. Discover how political prisoners and ordinary criminals were treated, the role of the Catholic Church inside the prison system, the brutal interrogation methods reported by former detainees, and the terrifying reality of facing the death penalty in Franco's Spain. You'll also learn about the infamous garrote vil—Spain's historic method of capital punishment—and why tourists enjoying sunshine holidays in the 1960s rarely saw this hidden side of the country. This episode provides historical context for the gripping finale of our audio drama, Busman's Holiday, and reveals the Spain that existed beyond the holiday brochures. ⚠️ Listener Discretion Advised: This episode contains historical descriptions of torture, prison conditions and capital punishment that some listeners may find distressing. Spanish Practices – Real Life, Real Spain. -
THE BUSMAN'S HOLIDAY - Episode 5 - the Finale 26.07.2026 20minSpanish Practices is taking a short summer break, so enjoy another FREE audiobook from The Marlborough Court Mysteries. In Busman's Holiday, Horace Finch, Violet Hart and Leslie Brown swap London's fog for the sunshine of Spain when a seemingly ordinary package holiday to Torremolinos takes an unexpected turn. Beneath the glamour of the Costa del Sol, espionage, murder and Anglo-Spanish secrets await, leading the trio from bustling beach resorts to the shadow of the Rock of Gibraltar. Perfect for fans of classic British mysteries, 1960s travel nostalgia, vintage Spain and intelligent detective adventures. Can Horace Finch solve the case before the holiday is over, or will this prove to be his first and most dangerous trip abroad? Warning contains historical descriptions of executions.
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