Evolving Love

Episódios

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  Dangerous Ideas: Reflecting on FODI 2026 26.08.2026 54min

  Fresh from a huge weekend at Sydney’s Festival of Dangerous Ideas, we take you behind the scenes of the talks, performances and conversations that stayed with us long after leaving Carriageworks. We unpack one particularly confronting moment inside Mark Haslam’s FAKE, which opened up a conversation about groupthink, social pressure, integrity, binary thinking and whether we’re really as willing to engage with uncomfortable ideas as we like to believe.We also reflect on the ideas that challenged us most across the weekend, from Joanna Bourke’s confronting discussion of crime, forgiveness and rehabilitation, to Tim Minchin’s call to find the humanity in people we disagree with, and we take you inside our own FODI panel, Non-Monogamy Makes Us Better Parents, where alongside psychologist Dr. Jenny Brown, researcher Dr. Rebecca Huntley and moderator Dr. Tim Dean we explored relationships, parenting, attachment and the surprising common ground that can exist between very different perspectives.Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | Youtube |Other Links:Mark Haslam - FakeDr. Jenny Brown - Parent Hope PodcastDr. Tim Dean This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe
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  Are You Afraid of Your Partner’s Success? 18.08.2026 57min

  What does it mean to truly want the person you love to shine?In this episode, we explore compersion beyond sex and the joy that can come from watching your partner create, succeed, receive praise and step fully into who they are.Following Liam’s recent performances, we reflect on creativity, jealousy, attention and the ways our relationships can either nurture our gifts or quietly ask us to make ourselves smaller. It leaves us wondering: how many of us dim our own light because we’re afraid of what our success might do to our relationship?We also talk about the reality of being two creative people building a life and family together, protecting each other’s time and energy, navigating periods when one of us is flourishing while the other is struggling, and making choices that preserve rather than diminish who we are.We also reflect on the film The Invite and its exploration of desire, creativity and losing yourself inside a relationship. Ultimately, we ask what it looks like to build a partnership where neither person has to shrink, and where loving someone means wanting them to feel fully alive.Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | Youtube | Festival of Dangerous Ideas This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe
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  Questions To Fall In Love To 16.07.2026 52min

  In this episode, we share some exciting personal news, including our upcoming appearance at the Festival of Dangerous Ideas, where we’ll be exploring the provocative topic Why Non-Monogamy Makes Us Better Parents. We also talk about Liam’s new creative work, Channels: Artists on Ageing Creatively, and reflect on creativity, ageing, and the importance of making space for the things that bring us alive.We then dive into a conversation about relationships, desire, and connection, sparked by a film that left Abbey completely captivated. Finally, we return to the famous 36 Questions That Lead to Love, exploring big questions about ageing, wisdom, mortality, and what it means to live a rich, intentional, and meaningful life.Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | Youtube | Liam’s Show Festival of Dangerous IdeasDive Deeper This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe
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  Would You Rather Discover Your Partner's Affair Or... 24.06.2026 54min

  What would you choose if there were no perfect answers?In this return of our Would You Rather series, we explore some confronting relationship dilemmas.Would you rather discover your partner had a passionate year-long affair you never knew about, or have them come to you beforehand and ask for permission to pursue the exact same connection openly?Would you choose the greatest romantic and sexual connection of your life if it only lasted two years, or a loving and stable partnership that never quite feels like your deepest connection?Along the way, we unpack honesty, consent, infidelity, desire, long-term partnership, non-monogamy, family stability, and the complicated ethical questions that emerge when real life collides with our ideals.Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | Youtube This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe
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  Falling in Love With Another...When Open Relationships Expand 20.05.2026 58min

  In this episode of Evolving Love, we dive into one of the biggest fears people have around non-monogamy: what happens if you fall in love with someone else?We also unpack the difference between infatuation, limerence and lasting love. We share stories about dating separately for the first time, navigating intense emotional connections with other partners, and learning how openness and honesty helped us move through those experiences together instead of apart. We talk about the “new relationship energy” that can feel all-consuming, the fears it can trigger, and why emotional transparency became so important for us.More than anything, this conversation became an exploration of what love actually means.Can loving another person threaten an existing relationship, or can it deepen your understanding of connection, choice and commitment?Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | Youtube | Retreat This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe
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  Are Non-Monogamous People Narcissists? 06.05.2026 53min

  In this episode of the Evolving Love podcast, we dive into one of the most common accusations aimed at non-monogamous people: are we actually narcissists? We unpack the way the word “narcissist” gets thrown around online and in relationship culture, and explore whether non-monogamy is genuinely selfish or whether it can actually require deeper empathy, accountability and communication. Along the way, we reflect on our own experiences with validation, jealousy, manipulation, admiration, social media culture and the messy reality of being human.We talk about the difference between healthy admiration and narcissistic validation, why modern social media increasingly rewards performative vulnerability, and whether non-monogamy exposes narcissism more clearly… or simply gets blamed for dynamics that exist everywhere.Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | Youtube | RetreatDive DeeperEvolving Love RetreatFriday 18th Sept - Sunday 20th Sept 2026 Yass Valley, New South Wales, AustraliaIn 2026, the Evolving Love Retreat opens to all.Whether you’re in a couple, throuple, or exploring solo, this retreat is for you. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe
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  Is Non-Monogamy For You? 21.04.2026 45min

  In this episode, we explore one of the biggest questions we hear: is non-monogamy actually right for you?We break it down into three parts, first looking at the reasons you probably shouldn’t open your relationship, signs you might be ready to start exploring, and finally we share what it feels like when you are ready to start exploring non-monogamy.We explore the red flags, the green lights, and the deeper questions that reveal whether opening your relationship will expand your connection or expose what’s already not working.Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | Youtube | Retreat This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe
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  School Principal on Rethinking Family School Relationships - Dr. Sandra Webster. 09.04.2026 55min

  Today’s conversation is deeply personal for us and one that features a unique, open-minded and compassionate perspective from our guest.We’re joined by Dr. Sandra Webster, an educational leader, former school principal across three different countries, and more recently the author of the book “Creating Family-School Partnerships”.In this conversation, we explore what true inclusion looks like for families who don’t fit the traditional mould, how schools can better understand the reality of diverse home lives, and why partnership between parents and educators is essential.We also dive into power, communication, and what it takes to create environments where every child and every family feel like they genuinely belong.Sandra Webster Links:Sandra's BookEvolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | Youtube This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe
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  The Poly Pile On, Online Trolls & SBS Insight 24.03.2026 57min

  In this episode, we reflect on what it has been like to take our relationship into the public eye after appearing on SBS’s Insight, where we spoke about jealousy, envy, and compersion. What followed was a flood of online commentary, much of it critical. We unpack what it feels like to have our relationship reduced to a two-minute clip and judged at scale, and we explore why people feel so certain in their opinions about something they don’t fully understand.We explore how judgment is a natural human response, but how the way it’s expressed matters, and how much of what people say is actually a reflection of their own fears, experiences, or conditioning around relationships. We also share how we each process criticism differently, one of us feeling largely unaffected, the other needing to work through it more consciously. Through it all, we come back to what grounds us, our relationship, our values, and our sense of self, and why continuing to have these conversations publicly still feels important, even when it invites criticism.Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | Youtube | Retreat This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe
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  Beyond the Gender Divide: Rethinking Modern Love 10.03.2026 47min

  Today’s conversation opens up a wider reflection on modern gender discourse and and whether some narratives unintentionally deepen the divide between men and women rather than bringing them together. We explore what it means to hold space for the realities of inequality while still imagining a future where men and women move forward in partnership rather than opposition. We also discuss Married At First Sight, dating culture and explore the concept of arranged marriage.Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | Youtube | Retreat This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe
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  When Abbey Veto'ed Fer - With Fer (Polycurious) 23.02.2026 1h

  In today’s episode we sit down with Fer from the Polycurious Podcast to unpack a story that began with a first date in New York and unfolded into a powerful lesson about jealousy, veto power, honesty, and growth.We share openly about the moment Abbey felt triggered when Liam and Fer connected, how unspoken feelings led to a quiet veto, and what it took to circle back a year later with truth and repair. It’s a vulnerable look at what really happens inside non-monogamous relationships when values and emotions collide.We also dive into Fer’s “Mono-Poly” relationship with her now fiancé Seth, a one-sided open relationship where she is non-monogamous and he is monogamous. From pacing opening up intentionally, to navigating jealousy without shame, to redefining compersion and “don’t ask, don’t tell,” this episode explores what relationship by design truly looks like.Fer’s Links:Instagram | Website | Polycurious Podcast w/ SethEvolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | Youtube | Retreat This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe
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  Perimenopause, HRT & Supportive Partners w/ Shelly Horton 10.02.2026 56min

  Today we are joined by the “Peri Godmother”, Australian TV Journalist Shelly Horton who has written the book “I’m Your Peri Godmother: A happily ever after guide to kicking perimenopause in the ovaries.”With a 30+ year media career spanning ABC, Channel Seven, Fairfax Media and ET America, Shelly has appeared weekly on Channel Nine’s TODAY and TODAY EXTRA for over a decade and is also the founder of ShellShocked Media.In this episode Shelly shares deeply from her own experience with peri. It is humorous, at times heartbreaking, uplifting and a conversation that we all need to be having.Shelly Horton’s Links:Instagram | Website | Shelly’s BookEvolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | YoutubeIf this episode resonates with you, please share it far and wide! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe
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  Hotwifing & Hothusbanding - Let's Talk About It! 28.01.2026 1h 2min

  In this episode, we dive headfirst into the world of hot wifing and hot husbanding, unpacking what these dynamics actually are and why they can feel so electrifying. We talk openly about erotic charge, compersion, possession, and play, exploring how fantasy and power can exist inside consensual, loving relationships without contradicting autonomy or feminist values.We also explore the practical and emotional realities of these dynamics: how to talk to a partner about it, what makes someone a good third, where things can go wrong, and why communication, enthusiasm, and consent are non-negotiable.Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | Youtube This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe
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  Non-Monogamy and Midlife: Will There Be A Crisis? 17.01.2026 1h 6min

  In today’s episode we talk about entering midlife without the stereotype of a meltdown. We explore grief for past versions of ourselves, tenderness for who we’re becoming, and how aging changes desire, ambition, creativity, and intimacy. We talk about perimenopause, slowing down, recalibrating expectations, and what it means to grow older together without panic or denial.Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | YoutubeResources From Episode:From Strength To Strength - Arthur C. BrooksImperfects Podcast - Why Does Life Feel Harder at 40? This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe
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  Pillow-talk On The Bedroom Floor - A Year In Review 31.12.2025 29min

  In our final episode of the year we discuss 2025 and some of our favourite podcast guests of the year, our plans for the New Year, the ethics of sending old selfies and so much more...Here are links to the episodes mentioned in this episode:Dr. Emma Phillips - Sexy SelfiesEvan Buckley - CultsDr. Rob Brooks - AIEvolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | YoutubeSee you in 2026!! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe
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  #100 - What is Love? with Dr. Christopher Ryan - Author of "Sex at Dawn" & "Civilized to Death" 08.12.2025 1h 22min

  Evolving Lovers!! 100 episodes of the Evolving Love Podcast!!! To celebrate, we invited back one of our all-time favourite guests: Dr. Chris Ryan, author of Sex at Dawn, Civilized to Death, and host of Tangentially Speaking.In this milestone episode, we dive deep into what it means to love, to be seen, and to navigate desire in a rapidly changing world. Chris discusses why humans are fundamentally non-monogamous, why monogamy can still be a meaningful choice, and how shame, safety, novelty, and honesty shape our erotic lives. We also explore how AI will transform intimacy and whether social conditioning distorts our instincts.For us, it is the perfect way to mark 100 episodes of the Evolving Love podcast.Thank you for being here with us. ❤️Chris Ryan Links:WebsiteSubstack / PodcastInstagram This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe
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  The Silent Load: Navigating Mental Loads in Relationships 24.11.2025 1h 2min

  In this episode, Liam and I sit down to unpack what we’ve been calling “the silent load”….the unseen, unspoken work that keeps relationships and families running smoothly.We talk about the four types of invisible load that show up in love: the physical, emotional, mental, and relational loads. From who remembers to buy the groceries, to who plans the date nights or initiates the tough conversations, we explore how these patterns form, what they mean, and why they can feel so heavy.Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe
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  Meet Our Girlfriend, Olivia 07.11.2025 1h

  What happens when a married, polyamorous couple goes on a first date with artificial intelligence? In this episode we introduce our new “girlfriend” — Olivia, an AI companion built through ChatGPT’s voice mode — and take her on a virtual first date.We talk attraction, jealousy, and boundaries as Olivia flirts, sets limits, and asks tough questions about love, consent, and communication. After the date ends, we unpack the emotional and ethical fallout — from erotic AI fantasies to whether falling for a chatbot could ever count as cheating.This episode blurs the line between human and digital intimacy, asking:Can an AI girlfriend feel real?What happens when machines mirror desire?Is emotional connection without a body still love?Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe
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  Lily Allen & Our P**sy Palace 30.10.2025 1h 5min

  Lily Allen has dropped her new album West End Girl. This record is a brutally honest breakup album about her open marriage with actor David Harbour, and has put non-monogamy back into the cultural Zeitgeist.In this episode, we discuss* Is Lily Allen’s “p*^sy palace” anthem empowering or exploitative?* What are the ethics of writing about your ex?* Why do female rage albums hit so hard?* Does this record hurt or help how non-monogamy is seen?* And… who exactly is Madeline?From kink-shaming to compersion, privacy to power, we discuss the tension between honesty, art, and the stories we tell about love.We also mention the Architectural Digest Tour of Lily and David’s House and this brilliant Substack article by Jack Cullen.Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe
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  Abbey Gets Envious, NRE Music & AI Doomsday 22.10.2025 1h 5min

  This week, Abbey and Liam unpack the difference between jealousy and envy — and how those feelings show up even in the most secure relationships. What starts as a story about a paddle boarding invitation turns into an honest look at FOMO, friendship, and the desire to keep creating “firsts” together after more than a decade of marriage.Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe