The Wizard Wheezes
OllivandersVoices
0
A podcast featuring fan fiction audiobooks read by the host. All recordings are created with the authors' knowledge and include links to the original works. Listeners can contact the host to have their own fan fiction recorded. The theme music is 'Not As It Seems' by Kevin MacLeod.
Эпизоды
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Not With a Bang - Chapter 50 06.07.2026 8минChapter 50 of Not with a Bang by Megalle The final chapter of this story.The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. -
Not With a Bang - Chapter 49 03.07.2026 21минChapter 49 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. -
Not With a Bang - Chapter 48 29.06.2026 36минChapter 48 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. -
Not With a Bang - Chapter 47 26.06.2026 18минChapter 47 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. -
Not With a Bang - Chapter 46 22.06.2026 24минChapter 46 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. -
Not With a Bang - Chapter 45 19.06.2026 26минChapter 45 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. -
Not With a Bang - Chapter 44 15.06.2026 29минChapter 44 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. -
Not With a Bang - Chapter 43 12.06.2026 34минChapter 43 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. -
Not With a Bang - Chapter 42 08.06.2026 23минChapter 42 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. -
Not With a Bang - Chapter 41 05.06.2026 21минChapter 41 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. -
Not With a Bang - Chapter 40 01.06.2026 35минChapter 40 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. -
Not With a Bang - Chapter 39 29.05.2026 28минChapter 39 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. -
Not With a Bang - Chapter 38 26.05.2026 36минChapter 38 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. -
Not With a Bang - Chapter 37 22.05.2026 19минChapter 37 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. -
Not With a Bang - Chapter 36 18.05.2026 30минChapter 36 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. -
Not With a Bang - Chapter 35 15.05.2026 55минChapter 35 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. -
Not With a Bang - Chapter 34 11.05.2026 16минChapter 34 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. -
Not With a Bang - Chapter 33 08.05.2026 24минChapter 33 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. -
Not With a Bang - Chapter 32 04.05.2026 27минChapter 32 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. -
Not With a Bang - Chapter 31 01.05.2026 32минChapter 31 of Not with a Bang by MegalleThe Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/Authors Summary:"Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."Intro & Outro Music:"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
