Three Bean Salad

Epizódy

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  Dancing 16.09.2026 1h 13min

  We are not the only species that dances but we are the only one that has Dancercise. With that in mind, perhaps it is worth reflecting on the often misquoted words of 17th century poet and scholar John Donne: “Any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in Dancercise. Therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.” Thanks for Sandor of the other side of wherever for this week’s topic.With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladMerch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: [email protected] Insta: threebeansaladpod
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  Taxis 09.09.2026 58min

  Taxi drivers in the UK are exempt from having to wear seatbelts so that their passengers have one less thing to strangle them with mid-journey - a sobering little fact and one which perhaps illustrates the nature of the relationship between cabbies and their fares through the ages. Thanks to Phil of Utrecht for suggesting taxis as this week’s topic for the podcast (which has always been and remains steadfastly anti-strangle).Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGoodbye to the Hyundai video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7vC6zxNKBIWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: [email protected] Insta: threebeansaladpod
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  Musicals 02.09.2026 1h 5min

  It is known that EVERY event is better when punctuated by songs (hence hymns, national anthems, Auld Lang Syne etc). It stands to reason therefore that the musical is the apogee of human endeavour. Can you imagine then the excitement of the beans when this week’s topic was barfed out of The Bean Machine and musicals is what it turned out to be???!!!! Thanks to Sophie of somewhere probably for this perfectly judged suggestion.Tickets for Henry's tour: henrypaker.comTickets for Mike's tour: mrmikewozniak.comTickets for Beef And Dairy Network at the London Podcast FestivalIN HALL: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/podcast/beef-and-dairy-network-podcast-5/STREAMING: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/podcast/beef-and-dairy-network-podcast-online/With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: [email protected] Insta: threebeansaladpod
• 
  August Anti-sode 05.08.2026 10min

  No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until September)Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad
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  Fifth Wednesday Ersatz Episode 30.07.2026 2min

  No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday July and we only do four episodes a month because of Andy Burnham)
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  Frogs 22.07.2026 1h 2min

  Whatever happened to The Frog Chorus? Were Paul McCartney’s erstwhile collaborators merely one hit wonders? Or, more than four decades on from the release of their smash hit single “We All Stand Together”, might we see them dusting off their vocal sacs and hitting the road alongside so many other ’80s pop sensations? Mayhap they’ll headline next year’s Glastonbury? No way of knowing. And this is certainly not discussed in the podcast at all. But what is discussed, thanks to Glen of Okazaki, Japan, is the topic of frogs.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladBen's Dr Chance video can be found here: https://youtu.be/EtQUemmMQDg?si=g1eOYNG37Mw11U3lWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: [email protected] Insta: threebeansaladpod
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  Stationary 15.07.2026 1h 5min

  Can anything ever truly be still (apart from David Blaine)? Perhaps this is what Lou of Bend, Oregon would have the beans ponder by suggesting “stationary” as this week’s topic. Or perhaps Lou is in the middle of getting stalked by a brown bear and, while playing dead and only able to operate a mobile telephone from inside the pocket of a pair of waterproof trousers, thought posting this suggestion into the bean machine would be the quickest and surest way to get help.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: [email protected] Insta: threebeansaladpod
• 
  Village Fêtes 08.07.2026 1h 2min

  Samuel of 84a High Street selects village fêtes as this week’s topic for the beans. You may well ask yourself why Samuel has made this choice and wonder if perhaps Samuel was never voted as Village Fête Prince or if Samuel’s motorised float never podiumed or if Samuel shoved his hand in a lucky dip barrel and pulled it out again expecting to be holding a prize only to find his fingers had been replaced with very long springs but Samuel’s motive for his choice is Samuel’s business and Samuel’s business alone.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Tickets for Henry's tour: www.henrypaker.comTicket's for Benjamin's Beef And Dairy Network live show: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/podcast/beef-and-dairy-network-podcast-5/Merch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: [email protected] Insta: threebeansaladpod
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  The Roman Empire 01.07.2026 59min

  Plumbers. Noon. The Planets. Just a few of the things that probably wouldn’t even exist today if it weren’t for the Roman Empire probably. And here’s another one: Luke from Bolton via Bremen. Little wonder then that he chose it as this week’s topic for the Three Bean Salad Podcast (which definitely would have existed either way).Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: [email protected] Insta: threebeansaladpod
• 
  Seaside Towns 24.06.2026 55min

  Seaside towns have had a shaky reputation ever since the people of Hastings lifted the rope for those meddlesome Normans. Almost a millennium on is it time their notoriety was reassessed? Owen of Rhyl thinks yes and that the people for the task are beans three.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: [email protected] Insta: threebeansaladpod
• 
  The Circus 17.06.2026 1h 3min

  People often say it’s not the size of a clown’s trousers that matters but the state of the custard pie in the clown’s pocket. Perhaps that’s something we should all reflect on more deeply with peak circus season fast approaching. No doubt that’s what Charlotte was thinking when she luzzed “The Circus” into the Bean Machine for use as this week’s topic.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: [email protected] Insta: threebeansaladpod
• 
  Agatha Christie 10.06.2026 1h 4min

  Agatha Christie has had her works translated into more languages than any other author in history according to the most superficial of Googlings. But would she have given a monkey’s? It’s impossible to know and fruitless to ask so why Alan of the Surrey Borders entered her name into the Bean Machine is a mystery the likes of which even Jack Reacher would struggle to solve but we’re here now so let’s all make the most of it.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: [email protected] Insta: threebeansaladpod
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  Martial Arts 03.06.2026 1h 6min

  Munashe of Birmingham kicks of a new season of the Three Bean Salad by feeding the topic of martial arts into the Bean Machine. So far the Bean Machine hasn’t awoken abruptly from a deep trance-like state to say the words “I know Kung Fu” but you’ll know when it does because it will quickly lead to an extinction level event.With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladMerch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: [email protected] Insta: threebeansaladpodDetails of Henry's tour here: henrypaker.comDetails of Mike's tour here: mrmikewozniak.com
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  Free Patreon episode - And Then Sparrows Took Their Eyes - Three Brothers Grimm Tales 06.05.2026 1h 13min

  A freebie Patreon episode to give you a taste of what we do over there.Henry tells Mike and Ben three stories by the Brothers Grimm.www.patreon.com/threebeansalad
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  Fifth Wednesday Not-A-Lotta-Podda 29.04.2026 6min

  No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday April and we only do four episodes a month because of tidal science)Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad
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  Smells 22.04.2026 1h 11min

  The bean machine emits most known smells most days as a byproduct of its relentless toil. In a few short moments the aromas belched forth could be resinous, minty, jazzy, agricultural or anything in between. Something it has never spat out, however, is the topic of smells but that’s all changed now thanks to Andrew of Bremen, Dorset. Tune in for a gripping discourse on the difference between Eau de Cologne (water from the city of Cologne) and Odour Cologne (the smell of the city of Cologne which is Eau de Cologne which is water from the city of Cologne) and more!!!With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladMerch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: [email protected] Insta: threebeansaladpodDetails of Henry's tour here: henrypaker.comSponsor John Robins's marathon running here: https://www.justgiving.com/page/johnrobins
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  Vitamins 15.04.2026 1h 1min

  Josh of Deep South Texas brings the beans (via the bean machine) the topic of vitamins this week. Perfect timing as this week sees the launch of Three Bean Salad’s Vita-Plex injections for glossier skin and lukewarmer banter. For just 99.99.99 in any currency of your choice you can receive bi-weekly* intravenous pints of Vita-Plex. Vita-Plex contains an unique blend of vitamins, minerals and matter tested by “scientists” who promise they’ve done their own research and that’s the Three Bean Salad guarantee!!!*whether you interpret this as twice a week or once every two weeks will have no bearing on pricing or clinical impact.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: [email protected] Insta: threebeansaladpod
• 
  Show Us Your Onions 08.04.2026 59min

  The Moon landings. The fall of the Berlin Wall. The conviction of Al Capone. Everyone remembers exactly where they were when the news broke of these landmark moments in history. Well get memorising your surroundings people because it’s about to happen again. That’s right. None of your common-or-garden bean-machine-spewed topics this week. Oh no. Prepare to drink in a world first and please welcome the inaugural episode of a podcast format that takes The Rule Book, tears it to shreds then pickles it to prevent spoilage in case it turns out we need it later after all - it’s “Show us your onions!”.With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladMerch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: [email protected] Insta: threebeansaladpod
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  Saints 01.04.2026 1h 4min

  This week the Bean Machine stopped weeping tears of fresh, semi-skimmed milk for the first time in four years and spat out the topic of saints as submitted by Nathan of Bristol. Which cosmic force acted through Nathan to prompt his submission we cannot know. Nor indeed is it clear if this is the only time Nathan has been used as a sacred conduit or if it occurs frequently. If the latter, is Nathan aware of what is happening? And is he using it for good or is he diverting this otherworldly force for things like avoiding traffic jams and making meringues with lovely, stiff peaks? Sounds like it’s time for an investigation by the Bishop of Bristol, P.I.!With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladMerch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: [email protected] Insta: threebeansaladpod
• 
  Moving House 25.03.2026 1h 3min

  What truly separates mankind from other species is our irrepressible urge to shove things that are far bigger than the aperture of our dwellings into our dwellings. Some members of mankind will, at points in their lives, increase the size of their dwellings or move to bigger dwellings, but it is implicitly understood that the aperture into this dwelling must remain the same size so that oversized objects can still be acquired and shoved through it, thus sating mankind’s purest impulse. Perhaps Roy of Spalding is, as we speak, proudly and sweatily draped across a big thing he has freshly shoved into his own dwelling. Perhaps he is lodged between his front door frame and the arm rest of a sumptuous leather sofa. Either way what is on his mind is moving house and that is this week’s (perpetually relevant) topic for the beans.With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladMerch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: [email protected] Insta: threebeansaladpod