Not So Chic with Elli Freeman

Epizódy

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  I Thought Everyone Did This 16.09.2026 36min

  For most of my life, I thought everyone was counting their shampoo pumps, strategically positioning their bedroom door, Googling every bodily sensation and occasionally convincing themselves that if something wasn’t just right, they might die in their sleep. Apparently, we were not all doing that. This week, we’re talking about OCD: the intrusive thoughts, compulsions, reassurance seeking, rumination and desperate pursuit of certainty that I didn’t even realize were running my life until I was 19. I’m sharing some of my strangest childhood rituals, the moment I finally understood my own brain, what ERP taught me, and the deeply annoying phrase that changed everything: maybe, maybe not. Because recovery isn’t learning how to guarantee that nothing bad will happen. It’s learning that you don’t need the guarantee. Plus, Guest Therapy tackles the post-grad panic of not knowing what the hell you’re doing with your life—and why maybe you don’t need all your ducks in a row. You just need to know which duck you’re dealing with today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  He Can Join When He Gets Here 09.09.2026 31min

  Being single is not a problem I’m currently trying to solve. This week, we’re talking about how to actually enjoy being single without swearing off love, pretending you never get lonely, or treating every man you meet like a potential husband. From awful Hinge dates and imaginary perfect boyfriends to protecting your friendships, romanticizing your own life, and realizing that being chosen was never really the goal. Maybe I’ll fall madly in love one day. I hope I do. But I’m not spending the years before that happens waiting for my life to start. He can join when he gets here. We’ll get him a wine glass too. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  Your Inner Critic Needs to Shut Up 02.09.2026 38min

  Shame is the voice that turns “I embarrassed myself” into “I’m embarrassing,” “they didn’t text me back” into “I’m unlovable,” and one slightly questionable social interaction into a seven-year recurring thought before bed. This week, we’re talking about shame: where it comes from, why it thrives in secrecy, the difference between shame and guilt, perfectionism as shame management, vulnerability hangovers, people-pleasing, body image, and the exhausting experience of constantly imagining yourself through everyone else’s eyes. I’m also sharing some of my own greatest hits in shame—including accidentally lying to my dentist about my entire life, my complicated relationship with calling myself an influencer, and the occasional decision to say fuck it and choose fun over being perceived perfectly. Because the goal isn’t to become completely shameless. It’s to stop letting shame decide who you’re allowed to be. And maybe the things you’ve spent your entire life trying to hide aren’t the things making you unlovable. Maybe they’re just the things making you human. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  He Was Better in My Imagination 26.08.2026 26min

  I’ve spent most of my life romanticizing everything—relationships, friendships, college, moving to a new city, rainy days, heartbreak… you name it. And while I don’t ever want to stop finding magic in ordinary life, I’m starting to realize there’s a difference between romanticizing your life and becoming attached to a version of it that only exists in your head. This week, we’re talking about the stories we write for ourselves, why situationships can sometimes hurt more than actual relationships, grieving potential instead of people, and what happens when reality doesn’t follow the script we imagined. Maybe growing up isn’t about becoming less romantic. Maybe it’s about realizing the best parts of your life might be the ones you never saw coming. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  Why I Didn’t Go to My High School Graduation 19.08.2026 29min

  I’ve referenced the fact that I didn’t go to my high school graduation before, but I’ve never actually told you the full story of why. My senior year ended with an anonymous Instagram account, a “worst friend” superlative, hundreds of my classmates watching the whole thing unfold, a meeting with my principal, my parents pulling me out of school, and ultimately, me not walking at graduation. And somehow, six baby bunnies also almost get burned alive in the middle of all of this. You genuinely cannot make this shit up. But underneath the absolutely unhinged high school story is something I still think about years later: how easy it is to forget there’s an actual human being on the other side of a screen. We’re talking cyberbullying, teenage cruelty, mental health, the way schools handle—or don’t handle—these situations, and why you will never regret being kinder than necessary. Grab your blanket and sweet treat. This one is a STORY. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  Let’s Talk About the Inevitable 12.08.2026 34min

  Grief is one of those things I’ve always been scared to talk about because there’s no perfect way to put it into words. But after losing my grandfather almost two years ago, I’ve realized just how little we actually talk about what it feels like to lose someone you love. In this episode, I’m opening up about my own experiences with loss, being with my Papa during his final moments, and everything grief has taught me since. I talk about the guilt, loneliness, and strange little moments no one prepares you for—like watching the rest of the world keep moving when yours feels like it has completely stopped. Most of all, I’ve learned that grief isn’t something we simply “get over.” It changes shape. Everyone can lose the same person and still be grieving an entirely different relationship, and no one else gets to decide how big of a piece that person occupied in your heart. This is an episode about loss, but more than anything, it’s about love—and how lucky we are to have people worth missing forever. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  The Highlight Reel Problem 05.08.2026 33min

  The internet has never been more powerful—or more confusing. Every day we're bombarded with advice, opinions, AI-generated content, perfectly curated lives, and an endless stream of people telling us how to think, look, work, eat, and live. In this episode, I'm unpacking my complicated relationship with social media, why comparison has become an impossible game to win, why I believe digital literacy is just as important as financial literacy, and why the thing that scares me most isn't artificial intelligence—it's losing our ability to think for ourselves. Because the question isn't whether technology is good or bad. It's whether we can stay human while living alongside it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  Confessions of a Late Bloomer 29.07.2026 32min

  I spent years thinking I was behind. Behind on dating, behind on sex, behind on experience. So I tried to become the kind of girl who could do casual hookups without catching feelings… and completely lost myself in the process. Today we're talking about hookup culture, why so many of us confuse validation with intimacy, and the biggest lesson I've learned: there is nothing chic about abandoning yourself just to fit in. Plus, one of the most humiliating hookup stories of my life, Chic of the Week, Not So Chic, and Guest Therapy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  Respectfully... I Got the Ick 22.07.2026 29min

  This week we're talking about one of the most unserious—and strangely revealing—parts of modern dating: the ick. From men chasing ping pong balls to wearing Band-Aids, we've all experienced those completely irrational moments where attraction disappears in an instant. But what if the ick isn't always about them? What if sometimes it's about what closeness, kindness, or emotional availability brings up in us? In this episode, I'm unpacking the difference between an ick and a red flag, why I seem to get the ick from genuinely nice guys, how chasing can feel safer than receiving love, and why we so often mistake anxiety for chemistry. We talk about attachment, self-sabotage, wanting vs. needing in relationships, and how to tell the difference between intuition, discernment, and fear. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  Comparison Is Stealing Your Joy 15.07.2026 28min

  Comparison has a way of making us feel like everyone else is ahead. In today's episode, we're talking about why we compare ourselves, the difference between comparison and jealousy, how to genuinely celebrate other people's success, and why your timeline was never meant to look like anyone else's. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  To My Little Sister(s) 08.07.2026 35min

  Apparently being a big sister became my entire personality. This week we're talking about siblings, the people who become siblings, why I spent 23 years trying to save my little sister, and what happens when the caretaker finally learns to let go. Plus, Guest Therapy for anyone convinced they're behind in life. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  The Mindset Shift That Actually Worked 01.07.2026 33min

  For years I thought confidence came from fitting in. Dressing like everyone else. Dating the "right" people. Chasing validation from strangers, boys, and anyone willing to tell me I was enough. Turns out I couldn't have been more wrong. In this episode, I'm talking about the biggest shift I've made over the last few years: learning how to live a life that's actually aligned with my values instead of everyone else's expectations. From outpatient therapy and value sorting to dressing for myself, dating authentically, and finally letting my inner child have a seat at the table, this is a conversation about what happens when you stop shrinking yourself just to belong. If you've ever felt like you're constantly performing a version of yourself that everyone else seems to like more than the real you, I hope this episode reminds you that the people who are meant for you will never require you to abandon yourself. Because the goal was never to fit in. It was to finally feel like yourself. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  The Loneliness of Being an Old Soul 24.06.2026 25min

  I've been called an "old soul" for as long as I can remember, but for years it felt less like a compliment and more like a reminder that I never quite fit in. In this episode, I'm talking about what it was like growing up feeling different—being the kid who wanted tea at The Peninsula, spent recess in knitting club, obsessed over interior design before most people cared about decorating their bedrooms, and always seemed a few steps ahead emotionally. I share how being deeply observant shaped my friendships, dating life, career, and mental health, and why I spent so many years wishing I could just be like everyone else. We talk about loneliness, sensitivity, overthinking, finding your people, and the moment I finally stopped trying to outrun the parts of myself that made me different. Because while being an old soul can feel isolating, it can also be one of the greatest gifts you'll ever receive. If you've ever felt out of sync with the people around you, this one's for you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  I Don't Hate My Body, It's Just Complicated 17.06.2026 36min

  Body image isn't always self-hatred. Sometimes it's just constantly being aware of your body. In this episode, I share my experience with body image from ballet classes and dieting in middle school to gaining weight in college, losing it after graduation, and learning how to stop fighting myself every day. We talk about comparison, food noise, body neutrality, and why taking care of your body feels very different than trying to punish it. This isn't an episode about weight loss. It's an episode about making peace with yourself. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  My Love Life (or Lack Thereof) 10.06.2026 35min

  In this episode, I'm talking about dating, situationships, heartbreak, and learning how to be okay on my own. From my first kiss in Rome to college experiences that completely changed the way I viewed relationships, I share the stories that shaped my relationship with love, self-worth, and dating. We talk about rejection, healing, standards, and why being single no longer feels like something I'm waiting to escape. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  Friendship Breakups Are Breakups 03.06.2026 33min

  Friendship breakups don’t get talked about enough. In this episode, I’m unpacking the pain of outgrowing people, the heartbreak of feeling misunderstood, and why friendships can feel so complicated in your twenties. I talk about trust, people-pleasing, learning to ask for what you need, and the quiet grief of realizing some people may not be your people after all. But more than anything, this episode is about the friendships that do feel safe — the ones where you show up with nothing to prove and are loved exactly as you are.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  I Thought I Was Fine 27.05.2026 30min

  In this episode, I’m talking about the summer that completely changed my life. After years of struggling with my mental health, convincing myself I was fine, and learning how to cope instead of heal, I finally got a level of help I didn’t think I “deserved.” I share what led me to outpatient treatment, what it actually looked like, and how I began to understand the difference between surviving, coping, and truly healing. This episode is honest, vulnerable, and a reminder that you don’t have to wait until things are “bad enough” to ask for help. Plus, we’re getting into a very relatable Chic of the Week, a painfully awkward Not So Chic, and a listener Guest Therapy question about saying yes to everything out of fear of being left out. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  I Wasn’t Alone, But I Was Lonely 20.05.2026 35min

  In this episode, I’m talking about the kind of loneliness where you technically have friends, but never feel like you fully belong. I open up about being the “floater friend” in high school, feeling invited but not chosen, and how that quiet hurt followed me into adulthood. This one is for anyone who has ever felt outside of the group chat, the group photo, or the friend group entirely. You’re not alone. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  Maybe I’m Not Behind, Maybe I’m Just Doing It Differently 15.05.2026 35min

  In this episode of Not So Chic, I’m talking about the weird guilt of feeling calm in your early 20s, living at home, not going out every weekend, watching everyone else’s life look louder online, and wondering if I should be doing more. I get into the difference between peace and complacency, post-grad comparison, FOMO, trusting your gut, and why a quiet season might actually be the thing that saves you. Plus, this week’s Guest Therapy is about a situationship that feels like a relationship in private but a secret in public. Maybe I’m not behind. Maybe I’m just not panicking. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  Welcome to Not So Chic 15.05.2026 30min

  You know the chic version of me, now meet the not so chic one. In my very first episode, I’m reintroducing myself beyond the polished online version and sharing how lonely college GRWMs, viral TikToks, dating chaos, and my lifelong need to romanticize absolutely everything somehow led me here. This episode is a little intro, a little unraveling, and the official start of the Not So Chic Club. For anyone who feels deeply, spirals occasionally, and is trying to make life feel beautiful anyway. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices