The Divorce Course Podcast

Epizode

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  Big or Small Property Pool? How Size Changes Your Divorce Settlement 22.07.2026 27min

  🎧 Listen to this episode if… • You've been told your property pool is "too big" or "too small" to bother negotiating • You're weighing up whether to accept an offer or go to court, and it doesn't feel fair • You're a stay-at-home parent worried about how you'll manage on a small settlement • Your ex keeps saying "just go get a job" and you don't know if the court sees it that way • You're stuck arguing over a percentage and not sure if the fight is worth the cost • You want to understand future needs adjustments before you sit down at mediation ⚠️ Legal Disclaimer This podcast is general information only – it is not legal advice. The content reflects Australian family law and may not apply to your specific situation or jurisdiction (some rules differ in WA). Always consult a qualified family lawyer about your individual circumstances. Laws may have changed since this episode was recorded. Episode Summary You may have been told that because your property pool is very big, or very small, the usual rules don't apply to you. Maybe you're trying to decide whether to accept an offer that doesn't feel fair, or whether it's even worth going to court at all. This one's for you. Mum and I unpack how the size of your property pool changes the way settlement negotiations and decisions play out. The family law framework is always the same – the four steps a court works through don't move – but two of those steps, current and future circumstances (what we used to call "future needs") and that final just-and-equitable check, can look very different depending on whether you're splitting five million or fifty thousand. We talk through why big pools often see smaller future-needs adjustments (because there's plenty to go around), why small pools can see much larger ones (because every dollar counts), and the one habit that will save you years of stress: stop arguing over percentages and start looking at what those percentages are actually worth in real dollars. Mum also explains the Priority Property Pool 500 (PPP500) court track for smaller matters, why superannuation isn't the same as cash in your hand, and why drawing that legal line under your relationship matters even when there's "hardly anything" to divide. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – Big or Small Property Pool? Why It Matters 01:00 – The Legal Disclaimer & What Stays the Same for Everyone 01:20 – The Four Steps: What Never Changes in a Settlement 02:00 – What Counts as a Large Property Pool? 02:40 – Big Pools: Why Future Needs Adjustments Shrink 04:40 – Standard of Living: What the Court Will and Won't Do 06:30 – Small Pools: Why Adjustments Can Be Much Bigger 07:30 – Percentages vs Real Dollars: The Mindset Shift 09:00 – Is That 10% Worth Going to Court For? 12:20 – Don't Forget Superannuation vs Cash 14:00 – Stay-at-Home Parents, Earning Capacity & Retraining 17:20 – "Is a Small Pool Even Worth It?" The Myth 18:30 – Why Drawing a Legal Line Protects Your Future 21:40 – The Priority Property Pool 500 (PPP500) Explained 23:30 – Normal-Sized Pools: Follow the Usual Rules 25:50 – Show Me the Money: Look at Dollars, Not Percentages 26:40 – You Are Capable: A Message of Hope   1. Should I Settle or Go to Court? (10 Questions to Ask Yourself) Referenced when discussing how to decide whether the fight is worth it. 2. Property: Why You Shouldn't Negotiate Percentages Referenced when discussing arguing over what "50/50" actually means in dollars. 📞 1800 RESPECT — 1800 737 732 (24/7 DV support) 📞 Lifeline — 13 11 14 🚓 Police — 000 (immediate danger) 🌐 The Divorce Course — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au 🎓 The Divorce Course Podcast — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog • Priority Property Pool 500 (PPP500) — the streamlined court track for matters with net assets under $500,000 (excluding super). Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia: https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au • Family Law Act 1975 – s 79 (property, married) / s 90SM (de facto): https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s79.html
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  Coercive Control and Your Kids: How to Protect Your Children From a Coercively Controlling Co-Parent 21.07.2026 1h 19min

  🎧 Listen to this episode if… - You've left a coercively controlling relationship and your biggest fear is what it will do to your kids - You're wondering why your children can't see the abuse, or seem to side with the controlling parent - Your ex uses the kids as messengers or feeds them misinformation - You're worried about being accused of "parental alienation" for parenting differently - You're navigating parenting plans, orders or supervised time with a high-conflict ex ⚠️ This podcast is general information only not legal advice. Australian family law discussed. Always consult a qualified family lawyer. 🛟 This episode discusses coercive control and family violence. In danger? Call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), Lifeline 13 11 14. In Part 4 of our Coercive Control Series, Laura and Lyn are joined by clinical psychologist Krasi Kirova to answer your questions about coercive control, children and co-parenting. Plus the legal side – affidavits, family reports, Section 61DAB, loophole-proof orders, whether the court listens to a 14-year-old, and why supervised time working isn't a reason to rush to unsupervised. ⏱️ CHAPTERS 00:00 – Coercive Control and Kids: Every Parent's Biggest Fear 02:00 – How Coercive Control Affects Children (Including Adult Children) 04:00 – Research: Coercive Control Harms Kids Like Physical Violence 08:00 – Why Children Can't See the Abuse: The Loyalty Bind 10:00 – Does the Family Court Recognise the Impact on Children? 11:00 – The Problem With Family Reports 13:00 – Naming Coercive Control in Your Affidavit 14:00 – When Kids Are Used as Messengers 15:00 – Why Protective Parenting Is Double Duty 18:00 – Dr Emma Katz: Build the Opposite of the Coercive Regime 21:00 – Teaching Kids Emotion Regulation and Assertiveness 24:00 – Why Normal Co-Parenting Advice Doesn't Apply Here 26:00 – Making Your Home Non-Porous 27:00 – Alienation Accusations vs Parenting Differently 29:00 – Bombarding Messages: Why You Can Ignore Them 31:00 – Section 61DAB: Your Day-to-Day Parenting Decisions 32:00 – Manipulation and Misinformation: Correcting the Record 37:00 – The "Adult Matters" Myth in Family Court 38:00 – When Kids Side With the Controlling Parent 43:00 – How to Tell the Kids You're Divorcing 48:00 – Best Books to Help Children Through Coercive Control 52:00 – Krasi's Message to Every Protective Parent 55:00 – Helping Kids Heal When They Won't Open Up 60:00 – Parenting Plans With a Narcissistic Ex: 50/50 Traps 62:00 – Loophole-Proof Orders: Why "As Agreed" Needs a Default 65:00 – Will the Court Listen to a 14-Year-Old? 67:00 – Parental Alienation: What the UN Report Says 69:00 – The Gillick Test: Teens Accessing Psychological Support 70:00 – Sudden 50/50 Demands and Recording Phone Calls 72:00 – Supervised Time: Why Good Behaviour Isn't Evidence 🎧 EPISODES MENTIONED Part 1 – Coercive Control vs a Bad Relationship:  https://open.spotify.com/episode/3Blmekx03XEJIzshzS3glJ Part 2 – Coercive Control While Separated Under One Roof https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1503451022?i=1000775886114 Part 3 – Financial Abuse and Coercive Control: When Money Becomes the Weapon https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1503451022?i=1000776879697 The Parenting Order Loopholes Your Ex Will Exploit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBZYy44FhPY Can Kids Decide Where They Live? How Children's Wishes Count https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1503451022?i=1000771958744 🔗 RESOURCES Krasi Kirova, Clinical Psychologist – https://kirovapsychology.com.au Krasi's feedback form for survivors – https://jtwqtij4vdy.typeform.com/to/bjpm4Gy2 Books: The Big Bag of Worries | Every Moment of Every Day (Christine Cuccio) | The Sky Is Red and My Boundary Balloons (Tyra Schwartz) | I Can (Natasha Harris) Family Law Act 1975 – s60CC and s61DAB 🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au
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  Financial Abuse and Coercive Control: When Money Becomes the Weapon 15.07.2026 1h 8min

  🎧 Listen to this episode if… Your ex is using money to punish or control you in divorce proceedings Your ex is stalling the settlement, ignoring emails, or pressuring you to sign before you're ready You've been told it "couldn't really be financial abuse" because you earned your own money or had access to the accounts Your partner refused to work or quietly drained joint funds Your lawyer suggested leaving coercive control out of your settlement  You need the courage to name what happened ⚠️ Legal Disclaimer This podcast is general information only it is not legal advice. It reflects Australian family law and may not apply to your situation or jurisdiction. Always consult a qualified family lawyer. Laws may have changed since recording. 🛟 Family Violence Trigger Warning This episode discusses coercive control and financial abuse. For confidential support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732). Lyn a Family Lawyer and I are joined again by clinical psychologist Krasi Kirova to answer your questions about financial abuse the part of coercive control that hides inside bank accounts, businesses, superannuation and settlement negotiations. Krasi breaks down the three faces of economic abuse – control, employment sabotage and economic exploitation – and Mum covers what Section 4AB of the Family Law Act actually says, what evidence courts look for when the abuse happened behind closed doors, and how to find the courage to name it. 00:00 – Financial Abuse and Coercive Control: Was It Really Abuse? 03:00 –  Financial Abuse When You're the Breadwinner 04:00 – The 3 Types of Economic Abuse: Control, Sabotage, Exploitation 08:00 –  My Husband Won't Work – Is This Coercive Control? 12:00 – Secret Accounts and Hidden Spending 15:00 – "I Learned to Stop Asking Questions" – Control Through Consequences 16:00 – Section 4AB Family Law Act: Financial Abuse Is Coercive Control 17:00 – The Avoidant Ex and Post-Separation Abuse 19:00 – When Courts Award More: The 14% Adjustment for Coercive Conduct 21:00  He Won't Accept the Separation 23:00 –  Proving Subtle Coercive Control in Court 24:00 – What Evidence Family Courts Actually Need (It's Not Criminal Proof) 27:00 – Making Your Story Live for the Judge: Notes, Dates, Chronology 29:00 – The Three Ds Framework: Demeaning, Disempowerment, Distortion 31:00 –Proving Covert Control and Narrative Isolation 39:00 – Trying Hard's Question: Pressured to Sign the Settlement Too Soon 43:00 – Alex's Question: When Your Ex Uses Adult Kids to Pressure You 46:00 – Krasi's Call-Out: Share Your Experience for the Psychology Conference 48:00 – Samantha's Question: My Lawyer Said to Leave Coercive Control Out 52:00 – Spousal Maintenance Years After Separation: What Courts Consider 54:00 – Gretchen's Question: When the Ex's Lawyers Play Coercive Games 55:00 – Miss Resilient: Private School Fees, Child Support and Spiteful Neglect 59:00 – Next Week: Coercive Control, the Children and Co-Parenting 60:00 – Jesse and Sandy: Finding the Courage to Name the Abuse 61:00 – The Lighthouse Program and Evatt List: Extra Safeguards in Court 65:00 – The Domestic Violence Pendulum: You Will Find Your Voice 📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 (24/7 DV support) 📞 Lifeline – 13 11 14 🌐 The Divorce Course – www.thedivorcecourse.com.au Krasi's free Three Ds handout - https://kirovapsychology.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/3Ds-Handout-1.pdf Krasi's Psychology Conference questionnaire  https://jtwqtij4vdy.typeform.com/to/bjpm4Gy2
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  Coercive Control While Separated Under One Roof: How to Survive It Part 2 07.07.2026 49min

  Coercive Control While Separated Under One Roof: How to Survive It | The Divorce Course Podcast (Part 2) 🎧 LISTEN IF YOU… • Are separated but still stuck under one roof • Were told you "can't leave" without a parenting plan • Suspect you're being watched through cameras, phone or car • Are scared to move money or make a move • Want to plan a safe exit and set real boundaries ⚠️ General education only — not legal or psychological advice. Discusses coercive control, financial & tech abuse. In danger, call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), Lifeline 13 11 14. Part 2 of our six-part coercive control series with clinical psychologist Krasi Kirova and Family Law Specialist Lyn Galvin, all about surviving it while you're still in it. 00:00 – Separated but Stuck Under One Roof: You're Not Alone 01:00 – Six-Part Series, Guest Krasi Kirova & How to Send Questions 02:00 – Meet Krasi Kirova & Lyn Galvin 03:00 – Legal & Family Violence Disclaimer 04:00 – Does Coercive Control Continue After Separation? (Sally's Question) 05:00 – The Three Ds: Disrespect, Disempowerment, Distortion 06:00 – Why They Won't Move Out — The New Under-One-Roof Tactic 07:00 – Is Separation Under One Roof Required? Davis & Davis (Sarah's Question) 08:00 – "Can You Make Them Leave?" + When Your Ex Makes Up the Law 10:00 – DARVO Explained + Why Placating Doesn't Work (Nini's Question) 12:00 – How to Prove Escalating Abuse + Judges Are Trained 13:00 – Chronologies as Evidence + The Three-Year "Separation" Trap (Anonymous) 15:00 – The Stuck Feeling Is Entrapment — You Can Leave Without a Plan 17:00 – Cameras, Doorbells & Surveillance In Your Own Home (Loans' Question) 19:00 – Tech-Facilitated Abuse: 70% Is Everyday Tech + The Omnipresence Effect 20:00 – Is My Car Being Tracked? AirTags, Apps & What to Do (Marie's Question) 22:00 – Removing Tech Safely: Order Matters, Sweepers & Bluetooth 24:00 – When Your Ex Uses the Kids to Spy (She Bear's Question) 26:00 – Talking to Your Child About Privacy + Family Reports 28:00 – Krasi's Call-Out: Share Your Voice for the Psychology Conference 31:00 – Moving Money Without Awakening the Bear (JT's Question) 33:00 – Getting Your Ducks in a Row: The Safest Way to Leave 36:00 – 21 Years In — How Do I Announce I'm Leaving? (Tash's Question) 37:00 – The Shark Analogy: Why "Nicely" Doesn't Change the Reaction 38:00 – "You Moved Money Without My Consent" — Financial Control (Jessie's Question) 40:00 – Boundaries vs Buffers: Why Boundaries Can Backfire (Anonymous) 44:00 – Parenting Apps, Grey Rocking & the Three Anchors 45:00 – Legal Abuse, Comeuppance & the 14% Uplift Case 46:00 – Intervention Orders + A House-Sharing Idea for the Stuck 🎧 EPISODES MENTIONED Can You Make Them Leave? — https://youtu.be/_XAG5c1hOkU Tech-Facilitated Abuse (WESNET SafetyNet Australia) — https://youtu.be/rc8b27R_k9k The Three Anchors with Sonia Bestulic — https://youtu.be/aHULu7ffPj4 Capturing Coercive Control in an Affidavit — https://youtu.be/SIyXCGXH5nw 🔗 RESOURCES 1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732 | Lifeline 13 11 14 | Police 000 The Divorce Course — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au Free Before-You-Go Checklist & Tech App Worksheet — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au Share your voice for Krasi's conference (anonymous) — https://jtwqtij4vdy.typeform.com/to/bjpm4Gy2 Tech safety — https://techsafety.org.au Davis & Davis [1984] — the case confirming it's unreasonable to expect separated people to live under one roof If this episode helped you, please follow, rate, review and share so others stuck under one roof can find it too. Next week: Coercive Control & Financial Abuse.
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  Coercive Control vs a Bad Relationship: How to Tell the Difference 30.06.2026 1h

  Listen to this episode if… You keep asking yourself "is it me, or are they controlling?" The examples online always sound more extreme than what you're living You're walking on eggshells but second-guessing whether you're allowed to feel that way You've been told to "just set boundaries" but it only seems to make things worse You want to understand coercive control from both a psychological and a family-law angle Legal Disclaimer & Family Violence Warning This is general education – not legal advice or a psychological diagnosis. It discusses coercive control and abuse. If you're in danger, call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732 | Lifeline 13 11 14. Episode Summary "Is it me, or are they controlling?" That question ran under almost every message you sent in – so we turned it into a six-part series, and this is Part 1. Laura and Lyn are joined by clinical psychologist Krasi Kirova to answer the one nearly everyone asked: is this really coercive control? Krasi shares her three Ds (disrespect, disempowerment, distortion), explains why coercive control is a pattern and a function rather than a list of behaviours, and how good qualities like compromise and empathy get weaponised. Lyn explains how family law treats coercive control differently from the criminal courts. 00:00 – Is It Me, or Are They Controlling? 03:30 – What Best Illustrates Coercive Control?  04:30 – The Restaurant Metaphor: Pattern, Not a Checklist 06:00 – The 3 Ds: Disrespect, Disempowerment, Distortion 07:30 – Psychology vs Family Law: Section 4AB 09:00 – Family Court vs Criminal Court: Different Tests 10:00 – When You Lose Sight of What's Reasonable  12:00 – How Compromise & Empathy Get Weaponised 13:00 – When Your Ex Wasn't As "Extreme" as the Examples  16:00 – Is Anger & Yelling Coercive Control?  18:00 – Can It Exist Without Financial Control? 19:00 – Repeated Pressure & Monopolised Decisions ( 22:00 – Stonewalling, Delay & Deflection  25:30 – The PA Dynamic & Exploitation  28:00 – Needy or Controlling? How to Tell the Difference 30:00 – Blame-Shifting, DARVO & Perspecticide 33:00 – Infidelity, Guilt & Trying to Leave  39:00 – Silent Treatment as Punishment  43:00 – Why He Does Less When You're Sick  45:00 – Emotional Abuse vs Coercive Control 47:30 – Can the Main Breadwinner Be Controlled? 53:00 – Why Do They Do It? Can Survivors Heal?  58:00 – The Anxious, Controlling Attachment Style &  Have Your Say – Krasi's Conference Call-Out 📌 Have your say: Krasi is presenting on coercive control at the Australian National Psychology Conference. Share what you wish psychologists and therapists understood – anonymously, with optional audio. Link in the show notes. Entry form  https://jtwqtij4vdy.typeform.com/to/bjpm4Gy2  Resources The 3 Ds of Coercive Control – the deep-dive episode with Krasi.https://youtu.be/bRmLZBRs--o?si=YZ1951oDofDe_lw7 1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732 | Lifeline 13 11 14 | Police 000 Section 4AB, Family Law Act 1975 – definition of family violence Guest: Krasi Kirova, Clinical Psychologist If this helped you start to name what you've been living, please follow, rate, review and share The Divorce Course Podcast so others going through the same thing can find it too.
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  Survival Mode in Divorce: 3 Anchors to Steady Yourself 22.06.2026 51min

  Listen to this episode if… You feel like you're just reacting to whatever your ex or their lawyer throws at you You're exhausted, foggy, and making life-changing decisions while running on empty You can't tell anymore whether your choices come from your intuition or from fear You find it hard to speak up for yourself in mediation, in court, or even to your own lawyer You've lost a bit of yourself and want practical ways to feel grounded again You want to move from just surviving your divorce to actually flourishing through it This podcast is general information only  it is not legal advice. This episode touches on coercive control and post-separation abuse. If you or someone you know is in danger, call 000. For confidential support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732). If you're feeling stuck in survival mode reacting to every email, every legal letter, every move your ex makes this episode is the deep breath you've been needing. Laura is joined by Sonia Bestulic, award-winning author, speaker and wisdom teacher, whose book Flourish for Mums found Laura right in the middle of her own divorce. Together they unpack what survival mode actually is, why so many of us get stuck in it, and how to gently move out of it. 00:00 – Are You Stuck in Survival Mode During Your Divorce? 01:00 – Meet Sonia Bestulic: Author, Speaker & Wisdom Teacher 03:50 – "I Just Burnt Out": How Survival Mode Shows Up 05:30 – Why Your Mindset Can Affect Your Case as Much as the Law 07:00 – What Survival Mode Really Is (Fight, Flight, Freeze) 08:00 – The Lion Metaphor: A Fuel System Built for Short Bursts 09:30 – The Warning Signs You've Been in Survival Mode Too Long 10:50 – When Post-Separation Abuse Is Designed to Exhaust You 11:40 – The Three Anchors & Building Your Support Team 12:40 – Anchor One: Nourishing Your Intuition (Your Sacred GPS) 14:50 – Coercive Control & Learning to Trust Yourself Again 15:40 – The Morning Body Scan: 15 Minutes That Reset Your Day 18:30 – How to Tell the Difference Between Fear and Intuition 21:30 – Anchor Two: Energetic Integrity & Energy Hygiene 23:30 – Inner Boundaries: What's Mine to Carry and What's Theirs? 25:30 – Choosing When to Read That Email From Your Ex 26:40 – The Power of Nature to Recalibrate Your Nervous System 28:50 – Gratitude: The Highest-Frequency Circuit Breaker 30:00 – The Gratitude Candle & the Kindness Squirrel 32:50 – Anchor Three: Sacred Self-Advocacy 34:50 – Speaking Your Truth Without the Fight Energy 36:40 – Why Energy Speaks First (Even in the Witness Box) 40:40 – Daily Practices: Dance, Laughter, Music & Breath 43:50 – The Cup of Gratitude Ritual 45:40 – The Roots Metaphor: The Deeper the Roots, the Taller We Grow 48:40 – The One Thing You Can Start Today 49:50 – Where to Find Sonia & Her Books   1800 RESPECT — 1800 737 732 (24/7 DV support) Lifeline — 13 11 14 Police — 000 (immediate danger) The Divorce Course — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au The Divorce Course Empowerment Playlist — on Spotify Sonia Bestulic — books Flourish for Mums and Raising Empowered Humans: Unlocking Kids' Self-Leadership and Lifelong Flourishing (Amazon, global delivery). https://soniabestulic.com.au/  
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  7 Banking Myths That Are Costing You in Separation 17.06.2026 55min

  🎧 Listen if… - You've been told you "can't touch anything" until property settlement is finalised - You're scared opening your own account will start a fight - You're watching money vanish from the joint account and can't stop it - You're the lower earner, worried about being left with nothing while you wait - You're paying for everything and scared of being called financially abusive if you stop - You've got a kids' savings or education account and don't know where it fits Disclaimer: General information and education only, not legal advice. Please consult a family lawyer about your situation. 🛟 Discusses financial abuse & coercive control. Can you really not touch any money until property settlement? Mum and I unpack what you can and can't do with your bank accounts after separation: the difference between managing day-to-day finances and dividing property, what happens to accounts in your own name versus joint accounts, and how to handle it whether your ex is amicable, high conflict, or controlling. We cover opening a new account, freezing joint accounts, what to do if it's emptied, kids' accounts, child support myths, and the warning signs of financial abuse. ⏱️ CHAPTERS 00:00 – Banking Through Separation: The Questions Everyone's Afraid to Ask 02:00 – Education Only & Why Your Lawyer Comes First 03:00 – The Two Big Myths: "Freeze Everything" vs "Take Everything" 03:30 – Power Dynamics & Who Makes the Early Money Decisions 04:00 – Managing Day-to-Day Finances vs Dividing Property 05:30 – What Happens to Your Bank Accounts When You Separate 06:00 – "It's Yours": Accounts in Your Own Name 07:00 – Joint Accounts & Why You Can Take Your Share 09:30 – Amicable Divorce: Take It, Then Tell Them 11:00 – High Conflict: Don't Stay Beholden to Your Ex 12:30 – Manipulative & Controlling Exes & the Groceries Analogy 13:30 – Is Taking the Money Financial Abuse? Section 4AB Explained 14:00 – Spousal Maintenance & the Joint-Account "Time Bomb" 15:30 – Post-Separation Spending, Wastage & Gollings & Scott 17:30 – Opening Your Own Bank Account (Yes, You Can) 18:30 – Why You Should Choose a Completely Different Bank 20:30 – "Will My Ex Find Out?" Tech Abuse, Passwords & Disclosure 22:30 – Where Should Your Wages Go? 23:00 – Coming Up: A Coercive Control Q&A With Krazi Kirova 23:30 – When Your Ex Won't Move Out or Pay the Bills 24:30 – Reasonableness & How a Judge Will See It 26:00 – Giving Notice, Justifying It & Part N of the Financial Statement 27:00 – The Two People This Goes Badly For 28:30 – Talking to the Bank & Their Limits 29:00 – How to Freeze a Joint Account (Two to Sign) 31:00 – Stopping Large Withdrawals & ATM Limits 32:00 – When the Account Gets Emptied: Spousal Maintenance Options 33:00 – Urgent Spousal Maintenance Orders Explained 35:00 – Protect vs Punish: Two Money Mindsets in Divorce 36:00 – Homework: Talk to Your Bank Anonymously 37:30 – Splitting the Cash 50/50: Does It Lock In Your Settlement? 39:00 – How to Document It (A Text Message Is Enough) 40:30 – Kids' Bank Accounts: Who Controls Them? 41:30 – Splitting Kids' Accounts & Trustee Options 42:30 – Using the Kids' Money to Live On (If You Have To) 43:30 – Kids' Accounts Are Part of the Property Pool & Disclosure 44:00 – Child Support Myths: The "Every Dollar for the Kids" Trap 45:30 – The "Basket of Goods" Approach & Living to Your Means 47:30 – Warning Signs of Financial Abuse 49:30 – Real-Time Spend Alerts, Passwords & Your Safety 50:45 – Day-to-Day Finances vs Property Settlement: The Recap 51:30 – Get on the Mailing List So You're Not Blindsided 52:00 – Final Homework: Go Open That New Bank Account 53:30 – Crochet Corner & Sign Off 54:30 – Commonwealth Bank Next Chapter & Banking Support 🎧 EPISODES  Technology Abuse / Tech Safety – passwords, devices & safety checklist: https://youtu.be/rc8b27R_k9k Balancing the Power Dynamic – when one party stalls while the other pushes for settlement: https://youtu.be/coWlWcIq180 1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732 | Lifeline 13 11 14 | Police 000 Web: www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog Q&A questions: thedivorcecoursepodcast@gmail.com CommBank Next Chapter – financial abuse support. Helped you feel less stuck about your money? Follow, rate, review and share so others can find it too. All our best, Laura & Lyn Your Guides By Your Side Co-Hosts of THE DIVORCE COURSE PODCAST
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  Can Kids Decide Where They Live After Separation? How Children's Wishes Actually Count in Family Law 10.06.2026 55min

  🎧 Listen If… Your child has said they don't want to go to the other parent's house Your ex keeps saying "once they turn [a certain age] they can choose" You're worried your child is being pressured, coached, or caught in the middle You're hearing two completely different stories from your kids at handover You're amicable and thinking of just "letting the kids decide" (please listen first) You want to understand how children's views actually reach the court General information only not legal advice. Always consult a qualified family lawyer about your situation.🛟 Discusses family violence & coercive control. In danger: 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), Lifeline 13 11 14. About This Episode Mum and I unpack what the Family Law Act actually how children's views really reach a judge (family reports, child impact reports, ICLs), and how kids' wishes play out across the four divorce personality types.  ⏱️ Timeline 00:00 Can a Child Choose Which Parent to Live With?  02:00 Why the Family Court Won't Ask Kids to Choose  06:27 The Best Interests of the Child Test (Section 60CC)  09:06 What Age Can a Child Decide Where to Live? 11:34 How a Child's Wishes Are Actually Heard in Family Law  13:25 Child-Inclusive Mediation Explained  15:22 Therapy, Family Reports & Expert Evidence  19:48 How to Get a Family Report Outside of Court  22:35 How Family Violence Changes Parenting Decisions  27:22 2024 Family Law Reforms & Common Custody Myths  28:29 Can You Force a Teenager to Follow Parenting Orders?  31:58 The Reality of Enforcing Orders With Teens  33:03 How to Future-Proof Your Parenting Orders  34:03 Why Older Teens Have More Say in Where They Live  34:35 The Manipulative & Controlling Ex: Hidden Motives  36:42 How to Spot Coercion & Coaching Tactics  39:04 Love Bombing, Bribery & When the Mask Slips  41:54 High-Conflict Exes: Kids Caught in the Middle  45:20 The Avoidant Parent & Parentification  49:02 Amicable Co-Parents: Why You Still Shouldn't Let Kids Decide  51:07 Key Takeaways: Voice Heard, Not Decision Made  54:43 Closing Notes & Legal Disclaimer 🎧 Episodes Mentioned Decoding the Child's Best Interests Referenced when discussing the full 60CC best-interests factors https://youtu.be/k4-QTbfW8XM?si=4ltIq0y0ceoMQWym Child-Inclusive Mediation Referenced when discussing how children's views are gathered out of court. https://youtu.be/HrEU6dFc0Ko?si=xvSAyfnMJ9oEfXnN Handover Hell – When Your Child Refuses to Go Referenced at the end for listeners dealing with handover-day resistance https://youtu.be/YphzOPZmC3k?si=Wf1RwzJMf-ix4N4K Support & Resources 📞 1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732  |  Lifeline 13 11 14  |  Police 000 The Divorce Course → https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au If this helped, please follow, rate, review and share The Divorce Course Podcast so others can find it too. All our best, Laura & Lyn – Your Guides By Your Side
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  When & How Can You Make a Settlement Offer in Divorce for Parenting or Property - Step by Step 03.06.2026 55min

  🎧 Listen if you're wondering when you can make an offer, you've received one that floored you, you feel pressured to "be the reasonable one," your ex is high-conflict or controlling, or you've been told you have to go to mediation first. ⚠️ General information only, not legal advice Australian family law. Always consult a family lawyer. 🛟 Discusses coercive control & legal/financial abuse.  Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732). ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – What Is an Offer in a Divorce?  01:50 – What an Offer Really Is (and What Counteroffers Are) 02:30 – Do You Need a Lawyer to Make an Offer? 03:30 – Why Emotional, People-Pleasing Offers Backfire 04:30 – What You Need Before You Make an Offer: Your Property Pool 05:00 – Future Needs, Super vs Cash  06:00 – Knowing What You're Giving Up With Eyes Wide Open 07:00 – Rushed & Blindsided Offers: 08:00 –  Buying Time Before You Agree 09:00 – Can You Get Out of Something You Signed Under Pressure? 10:30 – When Can You Make an Offer? Anytime You're Informed 12:30 – The Best Time to Make Your First Offer & Saving Legal Fees 13:50 – The Mediation Myth: You Don't Have to Go 15:40 – Why People Only Get Realistic at Mediation 17:00 – Time-Limited Offers: Pressure, Deadlines & the Downside 20:00 – Standing Offers:  22:00 – Do Offers Work in Parenting  24:30 – Calderbank Offers & Section 114UB Explained 25:50 – Offer Strategy for an Avoidant Ex 28:30 – Offer Strategy for a High-Conflict "Yeah, But" Ex 31:20 – Offer Strategy for an Amicable Ex & Collaborative Law 36:20 – Can You Offer Directly to Your Ex While Lawyers Are Engaged? 37:00 – Making Offers to a Narcissistic or Controlling Ex 39:00 – Don't Feed the Reaction: Grey Rock & Shuttle Negotiation 41:50 – What to Do When You Get a Bad Offer 42:50 – Ambit Claims & the Central Practice Direction 44:00 – Ask for the Authorities: Turning a Bad Offer to Your Advantage 46:30 – The Consequences of Refusing a Reasonable Offer 48:50 – Genuine Steps, Compulsory Offers & Costs Protection 50:00 – Why Offers Stay Hidden From the Judge Until the End     Calderbank Offers & Costs —    • Costs, Family Court and Calderbank Offers ...   Can You Really Mediate With a Narcissist? —    • Mediation and negotiation tips for divorci...     — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au Enrol (DIY Divorce Blueprint, AU) — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/enrol 
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  Do I really need a lawyer for my Divorce or DeFacto Separation? 25.05.2026 37min

  🎧 Listen to this episode if… You're wondering if you actually need a lawyer for your divorce at all You're worried that spending too much now means you can't afford court later You're scared that "lawyering up" will make your ex worse You think it's all-or-nothing and want to know the middle ground Your ex is high-conflict, avoidant, controlling, or amicable and you need a strategy that fits ⚠️ Legal Disclaimer This podcast is general information only it is not legal advice. It reflects Australian family law and may not apply to your situation. Always consult a qualified family lawyer about your circumstances. Laws may have changed since recording. Most people think there are only two options when it comes to lawyers in a divorce hand everything over, or go it completely alone. But that's not the truth, and believing it can cost you thousands. In this episode, Laura and Lyn break down the three ways you can actually use a lawyer. Then they get into what nobody talks about how your divorce personality type should completely change how you use a lawyer. A manipulative and controlling ex who runs up your fees needs a very different strategy to an avoidant ex who panics at a law firm's letterhead This isn't an episode telling you to avoid lawyers. It's about using them strategically for the parts where legal expertise genuinely matters, and not for the parts that just drain your property pool. 00:00 – Do You Need a Lawyer for Divorce? The Big Myth 01:40 – The All-or-Nothing Lawyer Myth & Talking About Costs 03:00 – Why Spending Too Much on Lawyers Early Can Backfire 04:00 – The 2 Critical Times You MUST See a Lawyer 05:00 – Why Seeing a Lawyer Early Bursts Unrealistic Expectations 06:20 – Before You Sign: Why a Lawyer's Eye Matters 08:20 – The 3 Ways to Use a Lawyer: The First-Class Ride 09:50 – The 3 Ways to Use a Lawyer: Step In, Step Out 11:20 – Divorce Personality Types: Manipulative & Controlling 12:50 – Using Your Lawyer Strategically Against Fee-Running Tactics 15:00 – Should You Take a Lawyer or Barrister to Mediation? 17:00 – Divorce Personality Types: High Conflict 19:00 – Divorce Personality Types: The Avoidant Ex 21:30 – Divorce Personality Types: The Amicable Ex 23:40 – Project-Managing Your Lawyer & the Addario & Addario Case 26:00 – Why Understanding the Process Stops Panic Spending 33:00 – The Middle Way + Legal Aid & Community Legal Services 34:00 – The DIY Divorce Blueprint & Sign-Off 🎧 Episodes  How Much Does Getting Divorced Actually Cost? — https://youtu.be/x-sgBNjlTHo?si=ubdIhcS1mjSrQqEk Bombarded With Legal Letters — https://youtu.be/z11Id8YdQn4?si=ucYfGThRuRcFYoH6 Mediation or Manipulation? — https://youtu.be/cmcFWXD2EBs?si=BMV5KY4CquSx1_dN Do You Need to Take a Lawyer to Mediation? — https://youtu.be/GB2lJftxdh4?si=vNwQueYHJhFrY3aP Community Legal Services: How to Use Them — https://youtu.be/4sEUhu6r07Q?si=1oYsGQ3vF1Eb2Y4M 📚 Links & Resources 📞 1800 RESPECT — 1800 737 732 (24/7 DV support) 📞 Lifeline — 13 11 14 🚓 Police — 000 (immediate danger) 🌐 The Divorce Course — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au 🎓 The DIY Divorce Blueprint — enrolments open until 10 June 2026 (click "Enroll Now") 💌 If this episode helped you understand how to use a lawyer wisely – and where you can save thousands – please follow, rate, review, and share The Divorce Course Podcast so others going through the same thing can find it too.
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  How Much Does Divorce Actually Cost? Legal Fees, Mediation & Hidden Expenses 19.05.2026 51min

  🎧 Listen to This Episode If… You want a real, plain-English breakdown of divorce process fees You're terrified to leave because you've heard divorce costs hundreds of thousands of dollars Your ex is telling you "leave the lawyers out of it" and you're not sure if they're right You've already started racking up legal fees and you're wondering where it's all going You want to understand exactly what you can do yourself versus what you actually need a lawyer for You're heading into mediation and don't know if you need a barrister too ⚠️ Legal Disclaimer This podcast is general information only – it is not legal advice. The content reflects Australian family law. Always consult a qualified family lawyer. fees may have changed since this episode was recorded (figures quoted reflect May 2026 pricing). This isn't an episode designed to scare you. Laura and Lyn walk you through where you have control, where you can save thousands by doing the work yourself,  00:00 – The Real Cost of Divorce: Why Some Pay $4K and Others $300K 02:36 – The Big Three Fears 04:14 – How Much Does a Divorce Application Actually Cost?  06:35 – Why Lawyers Charge for "Accepting Service" 08:01 – Negotiation Costs:  11:00 – Hourly Rates in 2026: 12:30 – The Cost of Phone Calls, Reviewing Offers & Meetings 14:30 – How Much to Draft Consent Orders 16:00 – Disclosure: The Biggest Budget Blowout in Divorce 19:00 – Paralegal Rates vs Lawyer Rates: Don't Overpay 20:30 – Drip-Feeding vs Dumping Disclosure 23:30 – Mediation Costs 24:50 – Do You Need a Barrister at Mediation? 27:00 – Half-Day vs Full-Day Mediation 29:30 – Hidden Costs 32:30 – The Court's Scale of Fees vs What Lawyers Actually Charge 33:30 – How Sending Late-Night Emails Costs You 34:30 – How People Waste Money 35:30 – Fighting Over Furniture, Revenge Litigation & Lawyer-as-Therapist 36:30 – Stubbornness, Unrealistic Expectations & Knowing When to Let Go 37:30 – Family Law Doesn't Deliver Justice or Retribution 39:00 – How Much to File Consent Orders ($205 Court Fee) 41:00 – How to Be Smart: When to Use a Lawyer and When Not To 41:30 – Saving Thousands on Disclosure by Doing It Yourself 43:00 – The One Meeting Strategy: Walk In Prepared, Walk Out Saving $10K 46:00 – Who Pays for Legal Fees? Section 114UB Explained 47:30 – Fee Exemptions, Cost Agreements & What to Expect 49:30 – Laura's Confession: The Bag of Receipts Story 🎧 Episodes Mentioned in This Episode 1. How to Choose a Mediator (Free vs Private Mediation) https://youtu.be/HKda6QswjAE?si=R27SD6WSDiLiI3VA 2. Do You Need a Lawyer for Mediation? https://youtu.be/GB2lJftxdh4?si=ur8ZMCkzPQ9dYFZN 3. Furniture in Divorce: How to Deal With It Without Blowing Your Budgethttps://youtu.be/oZ5h-gxckXU 4. Consent Orders Explained https://youtu.be/-DC72tq8FRM 🎟️ Free Webinar — Register at www.thedivorcecourse.com.au (click "Reserve My Seat") Family Law Act 1975 – Section 114UB (each party bears their own costs) https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/ https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/costs https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pubs/legal-costs The Divorce Course Disclosure Checklist —https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosure_checklist_o
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  How to Choose the Right Mediator for Your Divorce (Without Getting Played) 13.05.2026 41min

  🎧 Listen to This Episode If… You've been told you have to go to mediation and you don't know where to start Your ex has already chosen a mediator and something feels off You can't afford the expensive mediator your ex is pushing for You're going through family violence and worried no mediator will take your matter You don't know the difference between free mediation and private mediation You want to know whether your mediator actually needs to be a lawyer ⚠️ Legal Disclaimer This podcast is general information only it is not legal advice. The content reflects Australian family law and may not apply to your specific situation or jurisdiction. Always consult a qualified family lawyer about your individual circumstances. Laws may have changed since this episode was recorded. 🛟 Family Violence Trigger Warning This episode discusses family violence and the challenges of mediating where there is a history of abuse, coercion, or control. If you or someone you know is in danger, call 000. For confidential support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732). Episode Summary You don't have to accept whichever mediator gets put in front of you. In this episode, Laura and Mum (family law accredited specialist Lynette Galvin) unpack one of the most under-discussed parts of separation how to actually choose a good mediator, and how to push back when the one your ex is suggesting doesn't feel right. They cover the difference between free mediation (Relationships Australia, Interrelate, CentreCare) and private mediation, when you need an FDRP (Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner) versus when you don't, and whether your mediator really needs to be a lawyer or a former judge. Mum shares the exact wording she uses in letters when the other side proposes a biased or unaffordable mediator  including the "panel of three" approach that keeps the process fair. There's also an honest conversation about the gap in the system for people experiencing family violence, where mediators often refuse to take the matter on leaving survivors stuck heading to court when mediation could have solved the issue. Laura and Mum talk about what to look for in a mediator brave enough to handle high-conflict matters, and the practical safety steps (separate rooms, video links, safe exits) you can ask about. And there's the reminder you might need most: you hold the cards. You don't have to agree to anything in mediation just because you've been pushed to. You can pause, walk away, and come back when you're ready. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – How to Choose a Mediator: Why It Matters More Than You Think 01:00 – Legal Disclaimer & Why Mum Is a Qualified Mediator 01:40 – Can the Mediator Make or Break Your Mediation? 02:30 – How Lawyers Choose Mediators (And Their "Bottom of the Barrel" List) 03:40 – Can You Speak to a Mediator Before Choosing? Why Mum Says No 04:20 – How to Use Google Reviews to Vet a Mediator 05:30 – What Qualifications a Mediator Should Have (FDRP Explained) 07:00 – Does Your Mediator Need to Be a Lawyer? Property vs Children 08:30 – Why Social Workers Often Make the Best Children's Mediators 09:30 – Mediation and Family Violence: The Gap in the System 12:20 – Can You Change Mediators Halfway Through? The Honest Answer 13:50 – Red Flags: Biased, Agenda-Driven and "In Cahoots" Mediators 16:00 – When the Mediator's Office Is Next Door to Your Ex's Lawyer 17:00 – How to Push Back Without Slandering the Mediator 18:30 – What to Do If Your Ex Picks an Expensive Mediator You Can't Afford 19:30 – Free Mediation Options: Relationships Australia, Interrelate, CentreCare 20:20 – How Much Does a Private Mediator Cost? ($5K–$6K Reality Check) 21:30 – Why Free Services Have Long Wait Lists (And When to Go Private) 22:30 – The "Panel of Three" Letter Strategy You Can Use Today 24:00 – Should You Pay More If Your Case Is Serious? 24:50 – Free Mediation Pros and Cons (And Why Parenting Plans Aren't Enforceable) 27:40 – Private Mediators: Former Judges, Barristers and the "Iron Fist in Velvet Glove" 29:30 – Facilitative vs Evaluative vs Pure Mediation Styles Explained 31:30 – Can You Ask the Mediator If You're Getting a Good Deal? No. 32:30 – Pressure to Sign on the Day: How to Push Back 33:40 – Mediation Is Like a Boat in the Ocean — Pick Wisely 35:30 – How to Write the "Panel of Three" Letter to Your Ex 36:30 – Best Mediator Style by Ex Personality Type 38:30 – If You're Amicable, You Might Not Need Mediation At All 39:30 – You Hold the Cards: Don't Be Bullied Into an Agreement 🎧 Episodes Mentioned in This Episode  What Actually Happens Inside a Mediation - https://open.spotify.com/episode/2BvkcVNcHNrdWmXALC6bsA?si=31f56fce3c8d48a6 What a divorce mediator wish you knew  - https://open.spotify.com/episode/4zeUIkV3O5LTQAHi0dXOGL?si=644698cb744647a8 📚 Links & Resources 📞 1800 RESPECT — 1800 737 732 (24/7 DV support) 📞 Lifeline — 13 11 14 🚓 Police — 000 (immediate danger) 🌐 The Divorce Course — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au 🎓 The Divorce Course Podcast — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog   Find an Accredited FDRP (Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner): Attorney-General's Department — https://www.ag.gov.au/families-and-marriage/family-dispute-resolution Free / Low-Cost Mediation Services: Relationships Australia — https://www.relationships.org.au Interrelate — https://www.interrelate.org.au CentreCare — https://centacare.com Find a Family Law Accredited Specialist or Mediator: Queensland Law Society — https://www.qls.com.au Bar Association of Queensland — https://www.qldbar.asn.au (Or your state's equivalent Law Society / Bar Association) The Divorce Course Free Webinar: www.thedivorcecourse.com.au — click "Reserve My Seat" Closing CTA If this episode helped you understand how to choose a mediator who'll actually work for you, please follow, rate, review, and share The Divorce Course Podcast so others heading into mediation can find this information too. All our best, Laura & Lyn Your Guides By Your Side Co-Hosts of THE DIVORCE COURSE PODCAST  
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  Is Your Ex Wasting the Property Pool? Here's What the Family Court Does Now 05.05.2026 40min

  🎧 Listen to this episode if… You've been told "add-backs are dead" by your lawyer or your ex Your ex is wasting the property pool and you don't know how to stop it You've watched assets disappear since separation bank accounts, cars, super You're heading into mediation and need to know what to argue You want to understand what  the Shinohara & Shinohara Case and Shamon & Sharon Case actually mean for your case You're worried about delay tactics while your ex quietly drains the joint money ⚠️ Legal Disclaimer This podcast is general information only – it is not legal advice. The content reflects Australian family law and may not apply to your specific situation or jurisdiction. Always consult a qualified family lawyer about your individual circumstances. Laws may have changed since this episode was recorded. Episode Summary You may have heard the rumour – "add-backs are dead." Lawyers are quoting it, ex-partners are using it as an excuse, and people are panicking that there's nothing they can do when the property pool is being drained. In this episode, Laura and Mum unpack what add-backs actually are, why people think they've disappeared, and what the courts are really doing about wastage now. The short answer? Add-backs aren't on the balance sheet anymore  but wastage is absolutely still considered. Thanks to Shinohara & Shinohara [2025], the courts have stopped putting "imaginary money" into the property pool. But thanks to Section 79(5)(d) of the Family Law Act and the case of Shamon & Shamon [2025], wastage now adjusts the percentage split of what's left – and in Shamon, that meant the wife walked away with nearly 100% of the property pool plus costs. Mum walks through what counts as wastage (selling assets cheap, gambling, blowing money post-separation, gifting funds to a new partner), what doesn't (post-separation income spent on living, ordinary marital spending), and how to protect the property pool before your ex empties it. She also explains exactly what to consider saying if a lawyer or mediator quotes Shinohara at you including the section number, the case names, and the strategy that works. If you suspect your ex is wasting money or stalling property settlement, this is the episode to listen to before you do anything else. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – Are Add-Backs Dead? The Property Pool Myth Going Around 01:00 – Legal Disclaimer & Australian Family Law Context 01:30 – What Is an Add-Back in Property Settlement? 03:15 – The Townsend Case: How Add-Backs Used to Work 04:25 – Property Pool vs Balance Sheet: What's the Difference? 05:25 – The 4 Steps of Property Settlement Explained 05:50 – Why People Think Add-Backs Are Dead: Shinohara Explained 07:15 – "Don't Put Pretend Money on the Balance Sheet" 07:55 – The Real Risk: Ex Spending Everything Before Settlement 08:45 – How Wastage Is Handled Now: Section 79(5)(d) 10:00 – Percentage Adjustments Instead of Balance Sheet Add-Backs 11:30 – The Shamon Case: Wife Got Nearly 100% Plus Costs 13:50 – What to Do If Your Ex Has Already Drained the Pool 14:30 – How to Protect the Property Pool: Caveats Explained 17:00 – Protecting Joint Bank Accounts and Cash 17:50 – Superannuation, Cars and Other Assets 19:50 – Arguing Wastage in Mediation (Not Court) 21:00 – How to Respectfully Tell Your Lawyer They're Wrong 24:30 – Free Webinar Reminder 24:40 – What to Write to Your Ex Before Settlement 26:25 – What Counts as Wastage: Kowaliw, Gambling & More 27:30 – Is Drinking and Drug Use Considered Wastage? 28:15 – Gifts to a New Partner: The Gollings & Scott Case 29:30 – Reckless Spending vs Ordinary Spending 30:15 – Bad Business Decisions Post-Separation 31:10 – So Are Add-Backs Dead? The Final Answer 32:30 – What Evidence You Need to Prove Wastage 33:50 – The Mechanism Has Changed, the Outcome Hasn't 34:25 – Your Toolkit: Section 79(5)(d) of the Family Law Act, Shamon, Townsend, Weir 35:30 – Why Acting Fast Matters in Financial Abuse 36:55 – Reviewer of the Month: Manal from Australia 38:30 – Final Thoughts: Wastage Rules   🎧 Episodes Mentioned in This Episode 1. Equalisation of Super: The Myth That Won't Die https://youtu.be/YFkOnEsNybw?si=LAQd2SUq_YRVl9Ts 3. The Gilded Cage: Delay Tactics in Property Settlement https://youtu.be/cs6-jHDt-Qk?si=ufuSLLwVmasbQKsL 4. Financial Abuse and Hidden Assets https://youtu.be/D3-fV8C4gkM?si=JQMk6eqMXWUktsUf 📚 Links & Resources 📞 1800 RESPECT — 1800 737 732 (24/7 support) 📞 Lifeline — 13 11 14 🚓 Police — 000 (immediate danger) 🌐 The Divorce Course — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au 🎓 The Divorce Course Podcast — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog 🎟️ Free Webinar — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au (click "Reserve My Seat") Cases Mentioned Shinohara & Shinohara [2025] — the case people are misreading  https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/cases/cth/FedCFamC1A/2025/126.html Shamon & Shamon [2025] — https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/cases/cth/FedCFamC1A/2025/150.html Townsend & Townsend — the original add-back case (the taxi) Weir & Weir — the quarry / missing gravel case Kowaliw & Kowaliw [1981] — the trashed family home case Gollings & Scott — the engagement ring / post-separation income case Legislation Family Law Act 1975 — Section 79(4), Section 79(5)(d) — https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s79.html Family Law Act 1975 — Section 90SM (de facto equivalent) If this episode helped you understand wastage and feel ready to push back when someone says "add-backs are dead," please follow, rate, review, and share The Divorce Course Podcast so others going through the same thing can find this information too. All our best, Laura & Lyn Your Guides By Your Side Co-Hosts of THE DIVORCE COURSE PODCAST
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  Coercive Control & Domestic Violence in Family Court: Should You Raise It or Stay Silent? 29.04.2026 50min

  🎧 Listen to this episode if: You want to understand if domestic violence can affect your property or parenting outcome You've been told by a lawyer to "leave the family violence out" of your case You're scared raising coercive control or domestic violence will backfire on you in mediation You're confused by social media saying the courts ignore family violence Your ex is still using coercive behaviour even after separation You're heading into mediation or court and don't know how to bring it up   ⚠️ Legal Disclaimer & Family Violence Trigger Warning This episode contains discussion of family violence, coercive control, post-separation abuse, and the impact of these behaviours on children, which may be distressing for some listeners. If you are unsafe or experiencing family violence, please reach out for support. Support is available in Australia: 📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732   📞 Lifeline – 13 11 14   🚨 In an emergency, call 000 This podcast provides general educational information about Australian family law only and is not legal advice. Laura is not a lawyer. Every situation is different, and you should seek independent professional guidance tailored to your circumstances.  Episode Summary Should you bring up coercive control and domestic violence in your family law case… or will it backfire? If you've been online lately, you've probably seen wildly different opinions. Some people insist the courts ignore family violence completely. Others say the system is finally taking it seriously. And then there are the lawyers quietly telling clients to "just leave it out so we can settle." So who's right? In this episode, Mum and I unpack how coercive control and domestic violence are actually treated in Australian family law right now and the recent appeal cases that show the courts are starting to listen. We walk through real 2023 and 2024 decisions including Burnell & Rockford, Lainhart & Elinson, Dejani & Dejani, and Sad & Raymond cases your lawyer may not have caught up with yet. We talk about Section 4AB, Section 75, and Section 79 of the Family Law Act, why mediators sometimes forget you're still being coercively controlled while sitting across from your ex, and the very real "peace at any price" trap that costs people thousands in their settlement. If you've been silenced, dismissed, or told it's not worth raising  this episode is for you. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00  –  Coercive Control & Domestic Violence in Family Court: Should You Raise It? 01:00  –  Meet Laura & Lynette: Family Law Mum & Daughter Duo 02:00  –  Trigger Warning & Legal Disclaimer (Australia & Overseas) 03:00  –  Why Social Media Gets Coercive Control So Wrong 04:00  –  Why Lawyers Tell Clients to Leave It Out (And Why It's Wrong) 05:00  –  Judge Best's Powerful Speech: "Soften Your Gaze" 06:00  –  Why Both Parents Having Issues Doesn't Mean Equal Blame 07:00  –  Section 4AB: The Family Violence Definition That Changed Everything 09:00  –  Why Courts Now MUST Consider Family Violence Allegations 10:00  –  The Old Kennon Case vs The New Law: What Changed 11:00  –  Choosing the Right Lawyer When Domestic Violence Is Involved 12:00  –  "Don't Raise It Or You Won't Settle" — The Lawyer Myth 13:00  –  When NOT to Mention Family Violence in Property Mediation 14:00  –  The Smarter Way to Negotiate Coercive Control in Mediation 16:00  –  Parenting Cases: Why You MUST Raise Family Violence 17:00  –  Lainhart & Elinson 2023: The Appeal Case Every Mum Should Know 18:00  –  Section 60CC: Safety of Children Now Comes First 19:00  –  Why Parents Don't Tell Lawyers the Full Truth (And Why You Must) 20:00  –  Coercive Control in Parenting Cases Explained 21:00  –  Counselling Orders: When the Court Mistakes Lip Service for Change 23:00  –  False Alienation Claims: The New Coercive Control Tactic 24:00  –  50/50 Is No Longer the Default — Here's What Replaced It 26:00  –  Free Divorce Webinar With Lynette (Family Law Specialist) 27:00  –  Property Settlement: How Domestic Violence Affects Your Percentage 28:00  –  Kennon & Kennon: The Original Family Violence Property Case 30:00  –  Dejani & Dejani: When a Child's Health Issue Was Hidden 32:00  –  Burnell & Rockford 2024: Coercive Control in Property Settlement 34:00  –  Financial Abuse and PIN Numbers: What the Court Decided 35:00  –  Why You Need These Cases at Your Mediation 37:00  –  How Lawyers Use Cases as Negotiation Leverage 38:00  –  Section 79 & Notice of Risk: The Mediation Framework 40:00  –  Adding Percentage in Mediation Without Saying Why 41:00  –  Why You Must Disclose Family Violence in Parenting Negotiations 43:00  –  Settlement vs Court: The 10 Questions You Should Ask Yourself 44:00  –  Why Mediators Forget You're Still Being Controlled 45:00  –  How to Prove Coercive Control: Affidavits That Stand Up 47:00  –  The Biggest Mistake: Peace at Any Price Mentality 48:00  –  Why Post-Separation Abuse Often Gets Worse 49:00  –  Don't Compromise on Children — Stand Your Ground 50:00  –  Final Thoughts: It's Their Shame, Not Yours 🎧 Episodes Mentioned in This Episode 1. How to Put Coercive Control Into Writing for Court https://youtu.be/SIyXCGXH5nw?si=-7tLxmBpVQb2dNOv 2. Is It Family Violence? A Walk Through the Family Law Act https://youtu.be/YCddFx9cs_Y?si=DbJU6ePYSxDZFrEn 3. Settling vs Going to Court: 10 Questions to Ask Yourself https://youtu.be/gYpW3znoY28?si=pdg6wWbjMWttMH94   📚 Cases Mentioned (Take These to Your Lawyer) Burnell & Rockford (2024) — Coercive control and financial abuse in property settlement https://austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/cases/cth/FedCFamC2F/2024/468.html Lainhart & Elinson (2023) — Full Court appeal, Deputy Chief Justice McClelland — family violence in parenting https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/cases/cth/FedCFamC1A/2023/200.html Dajani & Dajani [2025] FedCFamC1A 28 (26 February 2025) — Hidden health issues in children and the impact on contributions https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/cases/cth/FedCFamC1A/2025/28.html Sayed & Rehmann [2025] FedCFamC1A 145 (21 August 2025) — Family violence and property contributions https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/cases/cth/FedCFamC1A/2025/145.html Kennon & Kennon — The original family violence and property settlement case (Section 75) 📰 Resources Mentioned Article: "Judge urges profession to soften your gaze when dealing with domestic and family violence" — QLS Proctor, 27 March 2024 (Federal Circuit & Family Court Judge Hannah Cara Best) https://www.qlsproctor.com.au/2026/03/judge-urges-profession-to-soften-your-gaze-when-dealing-with-dfv/ Family Law Act 1975 — Sections 4AB, 60CC, 75, 79 https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s4ab.html 🆘 Links & Resources 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 (24/7 family violence support) Lifeline – 13 11 14 Emergency – 000 The Divorce Course – www.thedivorcecourse.com.au Free Webinar with Lynette (family law accredited specialist) — register at thedivorcecourse.com.au If this episode helped you feel braver about raising coercive control and domestic violence in your family law matter, please follow, rate, review, and share the podcast  it helps other people in coercively controlling situations find this information too. You are not alone, and you don't have to stay silent.  
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  Divorce Money Mistakes: What Financial Planners Know That You Don't 22.04.2026 51min

  🎧 Listen to this episode if: You're about to go through property settlement in divorce You're focused on the percentage but unsure what it actually means You're dealing with complex finances (trusts, companies, super, shares) or Simple Property Settlement You want to avoid making a financial mistake that costs you years You're wondering whether to take the house, cash, super or investments   ⚖️ Legal Disclaimer & ⚠️ Family Violence Trigger Warning This episode contains discussion of family violence, coercive control, and financial control, which may be distressing for some listeners. If you are unsafe or need support: 📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 📞 Lifeline – 13 11 14 🚨 In an emergency, call 000 This podcast provides general educational information only and is not legal or financial advice. Please seek professional guidance tailored to your situation. Most people going through property settlement are focused on one thing… 👉 What percentage am I going to get? But here's what most people don't realise… Two people can walk away with the same 50/50 split  and end up in completely different financial positions. Because it's not just about the percentage… 👉 it's about what that percentage actually looks like in your life. In this episode, Mum and I sit down with financial planner Pedro Marin and break down the four key steps a financial planner takes during property settlement so you can avoid costly mistakes and actually set yourself up for your future. We talk about everything from figuring out what's in your property pool, to deciding how to structure your settlement, to planning your future and finally, making sure everything is actually set up properly after the deal is done. Because getting a settlement is one thing… 👉 making it work for your life is another. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – Divorce Property Settlement: It's Not Just the Percentage 01:22 – Meet Financial Planner Pedro Marin 04:04 – Why Financial Planning Matters in Divorce 08:01 – Step 1: Mapping Your Property Pool in Divorce 10:46 – Trusts & Companies in Divorce Explained 12:46 – Step 2: How to Structure Your Property Settlement 15:41 – Cash vs Property vs Super vs Shares in Divorce 23:20 – Step 3: Planning Your Financial Future After Divorce 24:48 – Financial Advice Risks: What You Need to Know 25:32 – Setting Financial Goals After Separation 28:58 – When to Start Financial Planning in Divorce 32:41 – Using the Same Financial Planner as Your Ex 34:52 – Budgeting for Mediation & Property Settlement 37:30 – Step 4: Implementing Your Divorce Settlement 40:20 – Insurance, Risk & Protection After Divorce 43:49 – Wills, Estate Planning & Protecting Your Children 47:25 – Biggest Mistake: Emotional Decisions in Divorce 49:35 – How to Work With a Financial Planner (Pedro Marin) 51:19 – Final Takeaways & Legal Disclaimer 🎧 Additional Episodes Mentioned Weapons of Tax Destruction https://youtu.be/tsDlMphLRWk?si=1Fbpw7XJy9jxCK20 Living Arrangements: Should You Keep or Sell the House? https://youtu.be/wknV5CB90yY?si=HGwH5m1AtXba5k7G   🔗 Links & Resources 🌐 Marin Wealth: https://marinwealth.com.au/ 📥 Free Checklists: https://thedivorcecourse.com.au 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 If this episode helped you think differently about your property settlement, make sure you follow, rate, review, and share the podcast — because someone else out there needs to hear this before they make a costly mistake.
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  Furniture in Divorce: Who Gets What & Costly Mistakes to Avoid 15.04.2026 41min

  🎧 Listen to this episode if: You're arguing over furniture or household items in divorce Your ex has taken everything or won't give anything back You've been told "you can't take anything if you leave" You want to avoid wasting money on legal fees over small items You're trying to work out what's actually fair vs worth fighting for Legal Disclaimer & Family Violence Trigger Warning This episode contains discussion of family violence, coercive control, and separation dynamics, which may be distressing for some listeners. If you are unsafe, do not attempt to retrieve belongings alone. This podcast provides general educational information only and is not legal advice. Every situation is different, and you should seek independent professional guidance tailored to your circumstances. What happens to all the "stuff" when you separate? Everyone talks about the house, the bank accounts, and the kids… but no one really talks about the furniture, the appliances, the artwork  and yes, even the toilet brush. In this episode, Mum and I unpack what actually happens to household contents in a property settlement, and why these seemingly small things can end up causing some of the biggest fights. We break down what the law really says (and what it doesn't say), whether it matters who paid for something, and why arguing over furniture can end up costing you far more in legal fees than the item is even worth. We also walk through four practical ways to divide furniture based on your ex's personality type whether they're amicable, avoidant, high conflict, or controlling so you can sort it out without derailing your entire settlement. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – Furniture in Divorce: Common Myths You Need to Know 01:40 – Safety, Legal Disclaimer & Family Violence Warning 02:36 – What the Law Says About Furniture in Divorce 03:03 – Who Owns Furniture After Separation? 07:02 – Divorce and Possession: Who Keeps What? 07:41 – Myth: Do You Lose Furniture If You Leave the House? 09:45 – Cost vs Value: Is Furniture Worth Fighting Over? 11:32 – Emotional Furniture Fights in Divorce Explained 13:58 – Amicable Divorce: The Two List Method (Simple Solution) 16:24 – Avoidant Ex: How to Pack, Send & Move Their Stuff 18:54 – Shed Disputes & When to Get Legal Advice 20:54 – Free Divorce Resources You Can Use 21:43 – When to Move Out During Divorce (Timing Matters) 22:41 – High Conflict Divorce: Should You Sell Everything? 24:50 – Valuing Furniture in Divorce Negotiations 27:55 – Biggest Mistakes People Make With Furniture 31:11 – Don't Let Furniture Ruin Your Property Settlement 34:03 – Mindset Shift: It's Not About the Stuff 35:30 – Fresh Start After Divorce: Letting Go 39:47 – Final Takeaways: Fairness & Moving Forward 🎧 Additional Episodes Mentioned What About Their Stuff and Belongings? (Referenced when discussing how to handle an ex leaving items behind or refusing to collect them) https://youtu.be/T_tQUbhBxbQ?si=kt1ChMF08dquxgkr    Links & Resources 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14   If this episode helped you rethink how to approach the "stuff" in your separation, make sure you follow, rate, review, and share the podcast so others can avoid getting stuck in the same fights.  
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  Health and Divorce: How Illness May Affect Property Settlement Percentage 07.04.2026 44min

  🎧 Listen to this episode if: You or your ex has a serious illness or disability You've been a carer during the relationship You have ongoing medical expenses You're worried about future financial support after separation You want to understand how courts assess health in property settlement ⚖️ Legal Disclaimer This podcast is for educational purposes only and provides general information about Australian family law. It is not legal advice. Every situation is different, and you should seek independent professional guidance for your circumstances.     What happens in a property settlement when serious illness is part of the story? In this episode, Mum (a family law specialist and family lawyer) and I unpack one of the most emotional and often misunderstood areas of family law: how health issues, illness, and medical needs may impact your property settlement percentage. Because when you're going through separation, you're not just dividing assets… You're also dealing with uncertainty, fear, ongoing treatment, and the reality of what life will look like moving forward. We talk about what happens if: you cared for a sick partner for years you are the one who is unwell there are ongoing medical expenses or even if someone has a life-limiting illness We break down how the court looks at contributions vs future needs, why simply saying "I'm unwell" isn't enough, and how these factors can actually shift the percentages in your property settlement. If illness has played a role in your relationship on either side this episode will help you understand how the law approaches it, and what it might mean for you. ⏱️ Episode Timeline - Health and Divorce: How Illness May Affect Property Settlement Percentage 00:00 – Illness and Divorce: How Health Impacts Property Settlement 00:22 – Why Health Changes Everything in Divorce Outcomes 01:32 – Meet the Hosts & Divorce Episode Overview 01:57 – Real Story: Endometriosis and Divorce Costs 03:07 – Divorce Property Settlement Explained (Step-by-Step) 04:38 – Caring for a Sick Partner in Divorce: Does It Count? 07:43 – What If You're the Sick Partner in Divorce? 09:46 – Divorce and Spousal Maintenance: Your Options 11:37 – Life Expectancy & Divorce Future Needs Explained 15:47 – Medical Expenses, Kids & Divorce (NDIS Explained) 19:12 – Proving Medical Needs in Divorce Settlements 21:00 – Short-Term vs Long-Term Illness in Divorce 21:41 – Temporary vs Chronic Illness in Divorce Cases 23:34 – Open-Ended Spousal Maintenance in Divorce 24:46 – Remission, Recovery & Divorce Medical Evidence 27:43 – How to Prove Illness in Divorce Court 30:18 – Divorce Surveillance, Fraud Claims & Mental Health 32:48 – When Both Parties Are Sick in Divorce 33:34 – Financial Obligations After Divorce Separation 35:19 – Divorce Agreements: Risks You Need to Know 37:20 – Rapid Fire Divorce Questions About Illness 39:07 – Divorce Mediation Tips When Illness Is Involved 40:46 – The Emotional Reality of Illness in Divorce 42:15 – Final Thoughts: Advocating for Yourself in Divorce   🎧 Episodes Mentioned in This Episode 1️⃣ Consent Orders vs Binding Financial Agreements - https://open.spotify.com/episode/5qgGhdAl5UaOo7LHb2Yf5Y?si=OFf8umvVQ7KAbzntw6AnVg 2️⃣ The Divorce Course (Program / Course Reference) www.thedivorcecourse.com.au     ⚠️ Family Violence & Sensitive Content This episode discusses illness, vulnerability, and complex family dynamics, which may be distressing for some listeners. If you need support in Australia: 📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 📞 Lifeline – 13 11 14 🚨 In an emergency, call 000     ⚖️ Legal Disclaimer This podcast is for educational purposes only and provides general information about Australian family law. It is not legal advice. Every situation is different, and you should seek independent professional guidance for your circumstances.     If this episode helped you better understand how health can impact your divorce, please make sure to follow, rate, review, and share the podcast it helps others going through the same thing find this information too.
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  Is Your Ex Watching You? Coercive control goes digital. 01.04.2026 44min

  🎧 Listen to this episode if: You feel like your ex knows things they shouldn't You suspect you're being tracked, monitored, or watched You're going through separation and worried about digital safety Your ex had access to your devices, passwords, or accounts You want to protect yourself and your children from tech-based abuse What if your ex knew where you were… who you were talking to… and what you were saying — without you ever telling them? In this episode, we're joined by Catherine Plunkett, Director of Safety Net Australia at WESNET, to unpack the growing reality of technology-facilitated abuse in relationships and after separation. Because abuse doesn't always leave bruises. Sometimes it looks like: your ex showing up where you are unexpectedly knowing things you never told them accessing your messages, accounts, or location And increasingly, this is becoming one of the most common forms of domestic and family violence. We break down what tech abuse actually is, how it happens, the warning signs to look for, and most importantly what you can do to protect yourself and your children. If something doesn't feel right, this episode will help you understand what might be happening and what steps you can take next. ⏱️ Episode Timeline - Is Your Ex Watching You? Tech Abuse in Divorce Explained 00:00 – Is Your Ex Spying on You? Hidden Tech Abuse Signs 01:35 – What Is Tech Abuse? How It Works in Relationships 05:10 – How Common Is Digital Abuse After Separation? 06:52 – Tracking Apps, Spyware & How People Monitor You 12:06 – Warning Signs Your Phone or Accounts Are Compromised 16:20 – What NOT to Do If You Suspect You're Being Watched 18:00 – Digital Safety Checks & Getting the Right Support 20:33 – Safe Phones, New Devices & Protecting Your Accounts 23:12 – That "Alarm Feeling": Trusting Your Instincts 24:11 – Smart Homes & Hidden Tracking Risks You Didn't Expect 26:31 – Cars, GPS & How Vehicles Can Track You 27:45 – Digital Safety Checklist: Steps You Can Take Today 30:47 – How Kids Can Be Used in Tech Monitoring 35:20 – AI, Deepfakes & The Future of Digital Abuse 38:39 – Where to Get Help for Tech Abuse 41:17 – Your Right to Privacy and Safe Communication 42:27 – What Safety Net Australia Does for Victims 44:19 – Final Thoughts, Support & Next Steps 🔗 Links & Resources Safety Net Australia – https://techsafety.org.au eSafety Commissioner – https://www.esafety.gov.au 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline Australia – 13 11 14 ⚠️ Family Violence Disclaimer This episode contains discussion of family violence and may be distressing for some listeners. If you are experiencing domestic or family violence, support is available: 📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 📞 Lifeline – 13 11 14 🚨 In an emergency, call 000 ⚖️ Legal Disclaimer This podcast is for educational purposes only and discusses general concepts. It is not legal advice. Every situation is different, and you should seek independent professional guidance for your circumstances.
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  Refusing 50/50 Care? What to Do in Mediation When Your Child's Safety Comes First 24.03.2026 48min

  🎧 Listen to this episode if: You've been told to attend mediation but feel unsafe agreeing to child care arrangements Your ex is pushing for 50/50 care and you don't believe it's appropriate for the kids You're dealing with substance abuse, family violence, or safety concerns and your child's safety You feel pressured to compromise at mediation when you don't want to You want to understand your options without giving in on safety Have you been told you need to go to mediation, but you're worried about the outcome because you simply cannot budge when it comes to your child's safety? Has your ex demanded 50/50 care, but deep down you know that arrangement isn't in your child's best interests right now? We talk about how to approach mediation when you feel stuck, how to clearly communicate your concerns, and the practical options that may be discussed  including supervised time, stepped arrangements, and drug and alcohol testing. If you're feeling pressured, overwhelmed, or unsure how to stand your ground, this episode will help you navigate mediation with clarity and confidence. ⏱️ Episode Timeline -Refusing 50/50 Care? What to Do in Mediation When Your Child's Safety Comes First [00:00] – Mediation With Safety Fears [02:33] – What Mediation Really Is [05:40] – Holding The Safety Line Why you don't have to agree to unsafe arrangements just to reach an outcome. [06:37] – Define The Real Risks How to clearly identify and communicate your specific safety concerns. [09:27] – What Courts Call Unsafe Understanding how the court views risk and safety in parenting matters. [10:33] – Supervised Time Options Exploring supervised contact as a way to maintain relationships safely. [12:56] – Choosing Contact Centres How supervised contact works and what to consider when selecting a centre. [16:34] – Cutting Contact And Court Optics What happens if time is stopped altogether and how it may be viewed legally. [18:43] – Stepped Parenting Orders Using gradual increases in time to build safety and trust over time. [21:26] – Therapy Conditions And Pitfalls When therapy is suggested, what to watch out for and potential risks. [23:06] – Drug And Alcohol Testing How testing can be used to address concerns and create accountability. [26:25] – Costs And Waitlists The practical realities of supervision services and delays. [26:45] – Paying For Supervision Who pays for supervised time and how this is handled. [27:28] – Preparing For Mediation How to go into mediation feeling clear, confident, and prepared. [28:13] – When They Refuse Supervision What to do if the other parent won't agree to safe options. [28:48] – Best Interests Not 50/50 Why equal time is not automatic and must reflect the child's needs. [30:40] – Court View On Refusal How the court may interpret refusal to compromise or engage. [33:27] – Holding Your Safety Line Practical ways to stay firm without escalating conflict. [35:17] – If Mediation Hits Impasse What happens when no agreement is reached and what comes next. [38:17] – Costs Threats Reality Check Addressing fear around legal costs and pressure tactics. [39:07] – Using Mediation For Property How mediation can still be useful even if parenting isn't resolved. [43:16] – Authenticity And Support Staying grounded, supported, and focused during a difficult process. ⚖️ Family Violence & Legal Disclaimer This episode contains discussion of family violence and may be distressing for some listeners. If you are affected, please consider listening with support or contact: Lifeline (Australia): 13 11 14 1800 RESPECT: 1800 737 732 This podcast is for educational purposes only and discusses general concepts in Australian family law. Every situation is different, and you should seek independent professional guidance for your specific circumstances. 🔗 Helpful Resources 1800 RESPECT – National Domestic Violence Support Lifeline Australia – 13 11 14 Relationships Australia (Supervised Contact Services) Parenting communication apps: OurFamilyWizard, AppClose 🎧 Recommended Episodes Mediation: What It Is (and What It Isn't)  https://youtu.be/YvcWAYuG4QA?si=hSiXFvVDaFDV4J6v Understanding the Best Interests of the Child (Section 60CC) https://youtu.be/k4-QTbfW8XM?si=SDzN2cIzO4FtlMQu Mediation Series: How to Prepare and What to Expect https://youtu.be/cmcFWXD2EBs?si=TqUcJvQzmd2MMNJc  
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  The Parenting Order Loopholes Your Ex Might Exploit (And How to Close Them) 18.03.2026 51min

  🎧 Listen to this episode if: You are about to negotiate parenting orders or a parenting plan Your coparent is high conflict, manipulative or controlling You're worried they will twist agreements or exploit loopholes You're preparing for mediation or family court for parenting orders You want parenting orders that actually reduce future arguments Family Violence & Legal Disclaimer This episode contains discussion of family conflict and family violence which may be distressing for some listeners.If you are experiencing family violence or feel unsafe, please contact 1800 RESPECT (Australia) or your local domestic violence support service. This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. Laura and Lynette are discussing general concepts in Australian family law. Every situation is different, and listeners should obtain independent professional guidance about their specific circumstances. Episode Time Stamps: The Parenting Order Loopholes Your Ex Will Exploit (And How to Close Them) 00:00 High Conflict Co Parenting 01:59 Why Orders Need Clarity 05:10 Changing Orders Is Hard 07:03 Loophole 1 Communication Rules 11:53 Loophole 2 Last Minute Changes 14:12 Loophole 3 Handover Boundaries 20:14 Loophole 4 Extracurricular Conflicts 26:30 Loophole 5 Stop Trash Talking 28:04 High School Choice Traps 29:39 Private School Fee Fights 31:14 School Updates and Access 32:07 Kids Phones and Screen Rules 35:50 Passports and Travel Clauses 40:06 Medical Decisions and Info 44:34 Emergency Contact Requirements 46:27 Rosters Holidays and Ambiguity 50:07 Think About What Ifs 51:12 Wrap Up and Disclaimers     Helpful Resources Lifeline (Australia): 13 11 14 1800 RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Family Court of Australia resources on parenting arrangements Parenting communication apps: OurFamilyWizard, AppClose, Talking Parents Episodes Mentioned in This Episode 1. 12 Agreements to Include in Parenting Plans Referenced when discussing the main structure of parenting agreements before talking about loopholes. https://open.spotify.com/episode/6j325rOj96QvV8spPnYsX5?si=td4XlKQZSr6CXfCSm9H_bA 2. Handover Hell Mentioned during the discussion about pick-up and drop-off conflicts and handover disputes. https://open.spotify.com/episode/6Pskjns3vZkLyv9FCefvxm?si=guIkwi1ITJuTOnshvpP9VA 3. Trash Talking Referenced when discussing parents speaking negatively about the other parent around the children.https://open.spotify.com/episode/7bxqn5I6B1HCzO9r0zKnxY?si=nEH3splzQxSTBOUikJJHhA 4. Interstate Travel With Children After Separation Mentioned during the travel and passport boundary discussion. https://open.spotify.com/episode/0auxUUS6QSh0ILcGHXbQgk?si=CmhYz74pSquyhTI2dgRMbQ 5. Tech Facilitated Abuse Referenced during the children's phones, devices and monitoring discussion. COMING SOON 6. Sole Parental Responsibility Suggested for listeners who want to understand decision-making authority around medical or school issues. https://open.spotify.com/episode/2O0VczmgtAPUrvcgJiF8HP?si=BM0nanlwTP6k67SMF8yg4g Summary Many parents believe that once parenting orders are made, the conflict will finally stop. But the reality is court orders don't magically change behaviour. If you are dealing with a high-conflict, manipulative, controlling or avoidant ex, poorly written parenting orders can become a playground for loopholes, misunderstandings and ongoing arguments. In this episode of the Divorce Course Podcast, Laura and Lynette break down the most common loopholes people exploit in parenting orders and the practical boundaries you may want to think about before signing anything. Because while parenting orders can't eliminate conflict entirely, clear boundaries can prevent many of the arguments before they even start. You'll learn how to think about communication, handovers, school decisions, travel rules, technology, medical issues and more all through the lens of preventing future conflict.