The ADHD Channel for Women (formerly MissUnderstood)

Epizode

• Why neurodivergent women can’t stop reading smut and romantasy | Sorry, I Missed This 04.06.2026 18min

  Did you know that women with ADHD consume explicit fiction at dramatically higher rates than neurotypical women — and there’s a neurological reason? Dr. Erika Miley is a licensed mental health counselor, certified sex therapist, and author of the only dissertation published on ADHD and women’s sexuality. After surveying over 2,000 participants, one thing kept surfacing: smut. Romantasy, explicit romance, audio erotica — all of it. In this episode, she explains why the ADHD brain is uniquely drawn to literary erotica, how smut raises the arousal threshold enough to sustain focus, and why neurodivergent women are using it for everything from processing emotional vulnerability to getting through household chores.
• ADHD, AuDHD, and social skills: Why you feel like too much and not enough 02.06.2026 12min

  Do you feel like too much in social situations — and somehow also not enough? Socializing with ADHD or AuDHD can feel like a minefield. There are the impulsive comments. The missed cues and oversharing. And then the post-hang crash. In this episode, Dr. J breaks down what’s happening in the ADHD brain that makes socializing harder. And she offers practical strategies for creating stronger connections without the overwhelm, anxiety, or burnout. Whether you mask, steamroll, or avoid entirely, this episode helps you socialize on your own terms.
• I’m an ADHD expert. My kid still can’t get help. 28.05.2026 24min

  Today’s episode is a crossover with Understood’s new podcast, Everyone Gets a Juice Box. Host Jessica Shaw interviewed Rae about something she rarely discusses on Hyperfocus: Being a mom to a fabulous kid with ADHD. Even with Rae’s 20 years of experience studying and writing about ADHD, getting help for her child in school has been really challenging. Here’s how she’s supporting her daughter while they wait for school services.
• ADHD, AuDHD, and self-diagnosis: Is it valid? | Sorry, I Missed This 21.05.2026 21min

  Is ADHD self-diagnosis valid? According to clinical psychologist Dr. Elizabeth Kilmer, that’s the wrong question entirely. When access to diagnosis is limited by cost, insurance, stigma, and identity — and when the people who self-diagnose show higher rates of negative self-image and internalized stigma — the real conversation isn’t about validity. It’s about how we make sure people have access to good information. Cate and Dr. Kilmer dig into what really happens when people research their own neurodivergence. They discuss research analyzing 452,000 Reddit posts that found self-diagnosed individuals seek more social validation. But they benefit less from it. They cover what actually happens in a clinical ADHD assessment and how comorbidities like anxiety, depression, and OCD complicate the picture. And they discuss why the question “Is self-diagnosis valid?” misses the point when getting a formal diagnosis is a privilege that many can’t access.
• ADHD and self-harm: Why people with ADHD are at greater risk 19.05.2026 12min

  Why is ADHD so closely linked to self-harm? In this episode, Dr. J breaks down how the core features of ADHD — impulsivity, emotional dysregulation, sleep disruption, and difficulty with the “pause button” — can create a perfect storm for dangerous coping. She explains why big emotions hit harder and faster with ADHD, and how that can lead to self-harming behaviors. Dr. J also shares evidence-based strategies for building safer ways to cope, including DBT (dialectical behavior therapy), self-compassion exercises, and safety planning. And she talks about maintaining the routines that keep ADHD symptoms manageable. If you or someone you know is struggling, the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is available 24/7.
• The gene that could change how we treat ADHD | Hyperfocus 14.05.2026 18min

  What if your brain had a volume knob? Researcher Dr. Zachary Gershon joins Rae to explain Homer1a, a gene variant that may hold the key to how we focus. When levels are lower during development, the brain gets better at filtering out distractions, or what scientists call “neural noise.” This discovery could one day lead to non-stimulant treatment options for ADHD. And it started with one scientist’s very personal question.
• Why ADHD makes decluttering so hard (and how to fix it) | Sorry, I Missed This 07.05.2026 30min

  If your home has ever felt like it’s working against you, this one’s for you. Certified professional organizer Alison Lush joins the show to unpack the ADHD relationship to stuff. Learn what chronic disorganization actually means, why the Marie Kondo method can backfire, and how to build systems that work with your brain. We also get into the emotional weight of clutter, organizing as a couples issue, and why community might be the most underrated tool of all.
• ADHD and sleep: 5 strategies to finally beat insomnia 05.05.2026 13min

  ADHD doesn’t clock out at bedtime. From delayed sleep phases and racing thoughts to stimulant timing and restless nights, sleep disruption is one of the most common (and most overlooked) challenges of living with ADHD. Plus, poor sleep makes every ADHD symptom worse! In this episode, Dr. J breaks down why ADHD and sleep don’t always get along. And she shares five science-backed strategies to help you finally get some rest.
• Can I get rid of my adult sensory issues? | Hyperfocus 30.04.2026 27min

  Rae puts on her most uncomfortable pants (on purpose!) to ask a fashion designer and former special ed teacher whether adults can actually get over sensory issues. Julia DeNey, founder of sensory clothing brand Sense-ational You, breaks down why tactile sensitivity doesn’t disappear at 18, what adaptive fashion can (and can’t) fix, and why telling yourself “today’s the day I get over it” is the worst possible strategy.
• How online community is saving (and breaking) my ADHD brain | Sorry, I Missed This 23.04.2026 24min

  Laura Mears-Reynolds, founder of ADHDAF and an award-winning community organizer, joins Cate to talk about online communication, building connection, and staying in touch when you have ADHD. They dig into rejection sensitive dysphoria and miscommunication, object permanence with people, time blindness in relationships — and why online community can be genuinely life-saving. Plus: the great voice memo debate, and why your calendar reminder system for friends is not sociopathic.
• ADHD and weed: Why it feels like a fix (but isn’t) 20.04.2026 14min

  Marijuana can feel like a miracle fix for ADHD, quieting the noise and taking the edge off. But this short-term relief comes with trade-offs. In this episode, Dr. J breaks down why ADHD brains are drawn to weed, what the research actually says about the long-term consequences, and healthier alternatives. If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re self-medicating, this one’s worth your attention.
• PMDD: Why women with ADHD are 4x more likely to struggle | Hyperfocus 16.04.2026 20min

  Hyperfocus listener Jenna Plonsky opens a raw conversation about ADHD, late diagnosis, and the mental health struggles many women face in silence. From postpartum depression to PMDD, this episode explores how hormonal shifts intersect with neurodivergence — and why so many go undiagnosed for decades. It’s an honest look at shame, self-perception, and the turning point that comes with finally understanding your brain.
• Writing the ADHD guide we wish we'd had 09.04.2026 18min

  What does it actually take to finish a book with ADHD? Cate sits down with Erik Gude, her co-author of The ADHD Field Guide for Adults, to unpack five years of starts, stops, and persistence. They get into taking advantage of accessibility options and overcoming the shame of looming, unfinished projects to get this one done.
• ADHD and filing taxes without the dread 07.04.2026 13min

  Every year, tax season arrives on schedule. Every year, you scramble to track down bank statements, W2s, receipts, and… UGH. If you have ADHD, that’s not laziness. It’s your brain working against a task it wasn’t built for. Procrastination, forgetfulness, overwhelm, and shame stack up fast. In this episode, Dr. J breaks down why taxes are so hard for the ADHD brain — and walks through practical systems to turn the annual chaos into a manageable to-do.
• Is “ring of fire” ADHD real? | Hyperfocus 02.04.2026 26min

  Our team has been seeing something called “ring of fire” ADHD spreading across the internet. It’s a supposed subtype of ADHD promoted by Daniel Amen, a celebrity psychiatrist with clinics in multiple states and a huge online following. But in reporting this episode, we found that “ring of fire” ADHD isn’t recognized by mainstream science. Nor are brain scans approved by the FDA as a diagnostic tool for ADHD. Our guest today, clinical psychologist Roberto Olivardia, PhD, explains why he believes Dr. Amen’s approach is unethical — and how it may lead to real harm for patients seeking answers.
• ADHD gaslighting and chasing new relationship energy (Reddit Reactions) | Sorry, I Missed This 26.03.2026 22min

  As we know, Reddit is full of messy love stories, and we have thoughts. From gaslighting and age gaps to the weird magic of “new relationship energy,” we read posts that make us laugh, cringe, and wonder — can memory be used as a weapon in a relationship?
• ADHD and how guilt hijacks your brain 24.03.2026 14min

  For people with ADHD, guilt can feel like a full-time job you never signed up for. In this episode, Dr. J digs into why your brain keeps hitting replay on minor mistakes, why “I shouldn’t have said that” can echo for hours, and how emotional overdrive makes tiny errors feel enormous. You’ll get clear strategies to pause, notice patterns, and respond without spiraling.
• This changed my mind on what’s possible with a learning disability | Hyperfocus 19.03.2026 19min

  Rae has a lifelong misconception about her dyscalculia turned on its head. And she learns why labels don’t mean limits.
• When ADHD turns chores into conflict 12.03.2026 23min

  Division of labor between partners isn’t easy for anyone. Add ADHD and suddenly dishes come with shame. Trash becomes a crisis. And rest starts to feel sketchy. Cate sits down with KC Davis to unpack the messy, deeply human reality of sharing work at home. They talk about resentment, perfectionism, time blindness, trust, and why keeping score almost never fixes anything.
• ADHD and lying: Why it happens and how to stop 10.03.2026 12min

  Some days your ADHD brain tells a tiny fib just to survive the social jungle. Saying “yes” when you mean “no.” Inventing excuses for forgetting something obvious. Lying isn’t villainy here — it’s impulsivity, executive dysfunction, and a dash of fear. In this episode of ADHD and, Dr. J digs into why ADHD makes dishonesty feel automatic. Plus clever ways to notice, pause, and try something different in the moment.