You're Not Crazy: A Podcast for the Adult Children of Parents with Borderline and Narcissistic Personality Disorders

Epizode

• Stop Explaining Your Boundary to Your Toxic Parent 09.06.2026 13min

  When you set a boundary with a narcissistic parent, or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, they tend to push back by acting like they don't get it. They argue, they question whether your boundary is even reasonable, they pull you into a debate about whether you should have it at all. It's why these conversations so often end with you backing down, second-guessing yourself, and wondering if you were the unreasonable one all along. In this episode you'll learn: Why a ...
• Setting the Boundary Is Only Part One: What Most Cycle Breakers Miss 02.06.2026 13min

  You finally set the boundary and for about five seconds you felt proud of yourself. Then your parent pushed back and wished you could take it all back. When you have a parent with narcissistic or unmanaged borderline personality disorder, boundaries don't land the way you were taught they would. These types of parents are emotionally dysregulated, rely on you to manage their feelings, and read your boundary as a threat. It's why so many cycle breakers quietly decide boundaries jus...
• Gaslighting and Self-Doubt: Why You Can't Trust Yourself When You Were Raised by a Parent with Narcissistic or Borderline Personality Disorder 26.05.2026 13min

  That moment where your brain short circuits because your parent just looked you dead in the eye and insisted the situation you’re describing never happened at all. When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, gaslighting isn't just a buzzword you read about on Reddit. It's the ever present way your parent avoids taking responsibility for their actions. And it's why, as an adult, you can sit across from someone you love, kn...
• Toxic In-Laws: What to Do When Your Partner Won't Stand Up to Their Family 19.05.2026 18min

  If you’re dealing with toxic in-laws and feeling unsupported by your partner, this episode is for you. Today we’re talking about one of the most requested topics I’ve avoided covering for a long time: navigating dysfunctional in-law relationships when you’ve married into a toxic family system. We’ll talk about why dealing with toxic in-laws is different from dealing with your own family dynamics, how family enmeshment can make it incredibly hard for your partner to recognize unhealthy behavio...
• How to Cope With Mother's Day Hangover When You Have a Mom with Borderline or Narcissistic Traits 12.05.2026 13min

  That heavy, drained, slightly nauseous feeling you've been carrying around since Sunday? You're not alone. If you grew up with a narcissistic mom or a mom with borderline personality disorder, Mother's Day doesn't simply end when the day ends. The emotional hangover that follows can be just as heavy as the lead-up, and it can leave you replaying every interaction, every word, every moment you wish you'd handled differently. In this episode you'll learn: Why the days after Mother's Day are so ...
• Why "I'll Never Lose My Temper Again" Backfires When You're a Cycle Breaker Raised by a Parent with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder 05.05.2026 16min

  If you grew up with a parent who has borderline or narcissistic personality disorder, you know what it's like to have a crystal clear picture of what patterns you don’t want to repeat. The problem is that picture doesn't come with instructions for what it actually requires to do things differently, and that gap is where so many cycle breakers get stuck in a painful loop of tolerating too much, hitting a wall, and drowning in shame. Whether you're a parent yourself, navigating your relat...
• How to Survive Mother's Day When You Have a Mom with Borderline or Narcissistic Traits 28.04.2026 23min

  When you grow up with a narcissistic mom or a mom with borderline personality disorder, Mother's Day hits different. The whole holiday is built on a story that doesn't match your reality, and it can feel like there’s no space for the reality you actually lived. Whether you're still in contact, low contact, no contact, or your mom has passed away, this day can bring up a complicated mix of feelings for adults who grew up with a mom who had borderline or narcissistic traits. In this episo...
• It's Not Just Your Parent. It's Your Whole Family System. 22.04.2026 22min

  In this episode, Torie breaks down why dysfunctional families are so resistant to change, what actually happens when you bring new boundaries and skills back into your family, and why the pushback you're experiencing is not a sign you’re doing things wrong. Listen to learn: What sets a healthy-ish family apart from a dysfunctional one Why your family's behavior can get worse when you start growing Why pushback is not a sign you're doing something wrong How to stop letting...
• What It’s Like to Have a Parent with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder 14.04.2026 34min

  In this episode, I walk you through: What patterns are common in narcissistic vs. borderline personality disorderWhy the diagnosis itself isn’t what matters mostWhat it feels like to grow up as a child dealing with a parent with these dynamicsThe key differences in behavior, motivation, and emotional impactWhy these relationships feel so confusing, intense, and destabilizingWe also talk about emotional volatility, lack of empathy, and why being emotionally vulnerable with these parents isn’t ...
• Breaking the Cycle Is Complicated: Here’s a Roadmap 07.04.2026 17min

  If you grew up with a parent who had narcissistic or borderline traits, chances are no one ever showed you what being an emotionally healthy adult actually looks like. In this episode, I’m breaking down why healing feels so confusing, messy, and unclear and what you actually need in order to move forward. We’re talking about: Why “I don’t want to be like them” isn’t enough to create healthy changeThe skills cycle breakers were never taught growing upHow dysfunctional family systems create bli...
• Does Your Parent Mean to Hurt You? Why Intent Doesn’t Matter (and What Actually Does) 31.03.2026 15min

  When you grow up with an emotionally unpredictable or narcissistic parent, it’s easy to get stuck trying to figure out their intent especially when there were both good and painful moments. In this episode, we’re breaking down why that question keeps you stuck and what actually matters when it comes to healing and setting boundaries. Because the truth is, it’s not about whether they mean to hurt you. It’s about what they continue to do and how it impacts you. Show Notes: Get a free sneak peak...
• Why You Intellectualize Your Feelings (and Why It’s So Hard to Stop) 24.03.2026 16min

  In this episode, I’m talking about why that happens and why “just feel your feelings” isn’t actually helpful for most people who grew up in chaotic or emotionally unpredictable family environments. When you grow up with a parent who lacks emotional regulation skills, you learn to analyze, anticipate, and problem-solve. Not because something is wrong with you, but because it helped you function in an environment that didn’t feel safe. In this episode, we’ll get into: -Why intellectualizing you...
• Forgiveness Is Overrated: What Actually Helps You Heal from a Toxic Parent 17.03.2026 24min

  In this episode, we’re talking about: Why forgiveness is often misunderstoodWhy you don’t need to forgive your parent to healHow focusing on forgiveness can actually keep you stuckThe difference between forgiveness and healingWhy acceptance is what actually helps you move forwardWhat “radical acceptance” looks like in real lifeListen to learn more about the fallacy of forgiveness and what it actually takes to heal from growing up within a dysfunctional family system. The Cycle Breaker'...
• The Basic Needs Cycle Breakers Often Ignore (And How This Wrecks Your Mental Health) 10.03.2026 18min

  In this episode, we’re going back to the basics and talking about why things like staying hydrated, eating enough, sleeping, and moving your body matter far more for your mental health than most people realize. We cover: • Why cycle breakers often disconnect from their own needs • How dysfunctional family dynamics train you to ignore your basic needs • The mental health impact of dehydration, hunger, and exhaustion • Why boundaries are often required just to take care of yourself • Simple way...
• I Could Win a Gold Medal in Overexplaining Myself: Growing Up With a Narcissistic Parent 03.03.2026 21min

  When you spend your childhood being misunderstood, projected onto, or told who you are instead of being seen for who you actually are, it makes sense that you carry that fear of being misunderstood into adulthood. In this episode, I talk about: • Why adult children of narcissistic parents often overexplain themselves • What it feels like to grow up being constantly misunderstood • Why this pattern tends to show up more when you’re overwhelmed or depleted • What real healing ...
• The Guilt Trap: How This Tricky Emotion Keeps Cycle Breakers Stuck 24.02.2026 21min

  In this episode, we explore: Why guilt feels so overwhelming for adult children of emotionally immature and narcissistic parentsHow dysfunctional family systems train you to equate guilt with being a bad personThe difference between healthy guilt and manipulative guiltWhy avoiding guilt keeps you stuck in the toxic cycleHow to approach difficult decisions without avoiding or agreeing to things beyond your capacityLearning to sit with guilt instead of immediately jumping into avoidance or prob...
• When Parents Say They’re “Walking on Eggshells” Around You: The Truth About Power, Boundaries, and Gaslighting 17.02.2026 17min

  If you grew up with a parent who had narcissistic or borderline traits, you may have heard this when you started setting boundaries, going to therapy, or naming the dysfunction in your family. In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, we unpack: Why “walking on eggshells” is not the same thing in a parent-child relationshipThe lifelong power imbalance that doesn’t magically disappear when you turn 18Why toxic parents often say this when you stop being compliantHow this narrative twists reality and...
• When Dysfunction Is “Normal”: Subtle Emotional Abuse in Toxic Families and Why It’s So Damaging 10.02.2026 19min

  In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, therapist and boundaries coach Torie Wiksell breaks down common behaviors that toxic families often label as “normal,” but that are actually deeply damaging and abusive. We talk about why these dynamics are so confusing, why they impact you as deeply as they do, and why your reactions are not a personal flaw. You’ll learn: Why emotional and psychological abuse in families is often minimized or dismissedHow power and control shape parent-child dynamic...
• Why Setting Boundaries With Toxic Parents Is So Hard (And What Most People Get Wrong) 03.02.2026 16min

  In this episode of You're Not Crazy, I walk through the most common reasons boundaries fail with narcissistic, emotionally immature, and toxic parents. Not because you did it wrong, but because most people are taught a version of boundaries that doesn’t account for manipulation, emotional dysregulation, guilt, or the survival responses cycle breakers carry into adulthood. We talk about: -Why using the word “boundary” often backfires with toxic parents -What a boundary actually is (and why it’...
• Why This Feels So Familiar: Toxic Parents, Abuse, and What’s Happening in the U.S. 27.01.2026 19min

  The gaslighting, denial, deflection, and rewriting of reality mirror the dynamics many adults grew up with in toxic or narcissistic family systems. Torie explains how ongoing trauma impacts emotional capacity, why trauma that is still happening cannot be healed (only coped with), and how the pressure to respond perfectly often leads to paralysis. For listeners who feel overwhelmed, stuck, and at a loss for how to move forward right now, this episode provides context, validation, and grounded ...