The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

Epizode

• Episode 375: Kate On: Finding Your Sense of Self After Divorce 02.07.2026 37min

  What happens when you spend years orienting your life around another person and suddenly have to learn to live from the inside again? When I got out of my marriage, I had no idea who I was. I had zero sense of Self. I didn't know what I liked, what I wanted, what my values were. I didn't even know my favorite color. I had all this time that technically belonged to me, and I had no idea how to inhabit it. I do think a lot of women experience this after divorce, and I wanted to name it in this solo episode. Many women fight their way out of a marriage expecting to naturally return to themselves, and then realize they're no longer entirely sure who that Self is. By the end of this episode, I want it to be clear why freedom can feel so disorienting, why knowing what you want can feel impossible at first, and how the work of rebuilding a relationship with yourself actually begins.  This episode names how the disconnection happens in the first place, the slow narrowing that comes with emotional abuse, or with years of over-functioning for a partner who under-functions, until your own needs and preferences quietly disappear. It looks at why that emptiness often doesn't surface until the divorce is final and the crisis has passed, and why so many women fill that space with anything they can reach for instead of sitting in it. Finally, it points toward how you actually start to come back to yourself. Because finding yourself again isn't about returning to who you were. It's about learning, slowly and intentionally, how to live in the life you fought so hard to build.  What you'll hear about in this episode: The narrowing box of emotional abuse, or years of over-functioning for an under-functioning partner, and how a sense of Self disappears inside it Why the disconnection often doesn't surface until the crisis passes and the pace of life finally slows down The baby steps back to yourself, and the small, ordinary questions that rebuild the practice of wanting Why choosing what lights you up can feel radical and even guilt-inducing at first How language and community give you both the map and the space to begin Resources & Links: The Unbreakable Retreat, Sedona, Arizona, September 10 to 13: Early bird pricing until July 15th! Focused Strategy Sessions Independence Day sale, $250 offKate Anthony's Complete Parenting Plan The Divorce Strategy ToolkitPhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce  =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. ===================  
• Episode 374: Winning: Rewiring Your Brain After Toxic Love with Jackie Miller 25.06.2026 41min

  You left the toxic relationship. You legally divorced, you financially divorced, you physically moved out, and somehow they still have you. You wake up angry, ruminating, unable to stop thinking about what they did, and wondering what's wrong with you. The answer is nothing. Your nervous system changed while you were in that relationship.This episode is about what's actually happening in your body and brain, and the tools that get you free (and winning).  Returning guest Jackie Miller is the one walking us through it. She's a high-conflict divorce coach, speaker, and host of the podcast Out of Crazy Town, and she has a new book out called Winning: Rewiring Your Brain and Reclaiming Your Life After Toxic Love. She blends neuroscience, psychology, and practical strategy to help people break free from toxic relationship dynamics and build a life that feels peaceful, purposeful, and free.  What you'll hear about in this episode: The strategic way toxic exes keep you emotionally hooked after you leave, and why your nervous system stays stuck in response mode long after the abuse (3:02) Why you have to understand the "why" behind your healing tools instead of just doing them because someone told you to (as Jackie says, "you need know why the antibiotic works to finish the whole course") (11:14) The reminder that if you keep working on yourself, you really will move through the entanglement, even when it doesn't feel like anything is changing (17:55) What happens when you're hijacked and spiraling, and how remembering your future gives your brain a map to follow (26:24) How to disengage when a toxic ex is relentless, and start untangling yourself from the dynamic you were caught in (34:05) Learn more about Jackie Miller: Jackie Miller is a high-conflict divorce coach, speaker, author of Winning: Rewiring Your Brain and Reclaiming Your Life After Toxic Love, and host of the podcast Out of Crazytown. Drawing from her background in science and years of experience supporting survivors of post-separation abuse, Jackie helps individuals break free from toxic relationship dynamics, reclaim their sense of self, and rebuild a life rooted in clarity, confidence, and peace. Through her work, Jackie blends neuroscience, psychology, and practical strategy to explain why healing after emotional control can feel so hard and how survivors can begin to retrain their brain, disengage from manipulation, and step out of survival mode. Her mission is to help people stop fighting for validation from those committed to misunderstanding them and start redirecting their energy toward their own freedom, power, and future.  Resources & Links: Registration is now open for the Unbreakable Retreat!Kate Anthony's Complete Parenting Plan Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Strategy ToolkitPhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce Jackie's websiteJackie's bookJackie on Instagram Jackie on YouTube Jackie's podcast =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. ===================  
• Episode 373: Solo Episode: What True Crime Gets Right About Abuse, and What It Gets Dangerously Wrong 18.06.2026 31min

  Worst ex ever. The monster next door. The case nobody saw coming. That's how true crime frames these stories, as something extraordinary and shocking. But for a lot of women who have lived inside coercive control, domestic violence, emotional abuse, or post-separation abuse, these stories are anything but unbelievable. They're horrifying and devastating, but they are not unfamiliar. And that is the problem. In this episode, I want you to understand why true crime can be both validating and dangerous. True crime can be validating because, when it's done well, it helps people recognize patterns they didn't have language for. It can give families and friends a vocabulary for what they're seeing. But I also want to put a lens on the dangerous side, because when these stories get sensationalized, when they're approached as "the worst ex ever," they keep us fixed on the dramatic ending instead of the ordinary warning signs that came before it. Women can't afford for the world to only understand danger after the worst has already happened. I watch true crime all the time. Dateline, 20/20, 48 Hours, whatever limited series Netflix wants to serve me. So I'm not coming to this episode from some morally superior place. I watch it too. But I refuse to accept the idea that these cases are just shocking anomalies, because they're not. They are the most extreme outcomes of dynamics that women are navigating every single day in less visible forms. What you'll hear about in this episode: The truth about how we handle violence against women: we require catastrophe before we grant a woman any credibility How true crime, done well, becomes pattern recognition that helps women name danger before the rest of the world is willing to call it danger What Gabby Petito's story shows us about the distressed woman and the calm, composed man, and how systems keep misreading who the real aggressor is Why the "worst ex ever" phrasing is a trap The connection between domestic abuse and public violence, and why the Secret Service is starting to name it misogynistic extremism What responsible storytelling actually requires: naming the patterns by educating, not sensationalizing Resources & Links: Registration is now open for the Unbreakable Retreat!Kate Anthony's Complete Parenting Plan Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce  =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
• Episode 372: Understanding the Narcissistic Mind with Chelsey Brooke Cole 11.06.2026 45min

  Understanding the psychology of a narcissist is the topic of conversation this week, with my guest Chelsey Brooke Cole. Chelsey is a licensed psychotherapist, expert in narcissistic abuse recovery, and bestselling author of If Only I'd Known: How to Outsmart Narcissists, Set Guilt-Free Boundaries, and Create Unshakable Self-Worth. She specializes in helping people understand the psychology of narcissists so they can trust themselves again after narcissistic abuse.  Here's the thing about narcissists that can be so disorienting at first: they are fundamentally different from you. This episode gets into the psychology behind it all. Why narcissists operate the way they do, what the different types actually look like, how they show up in relationships, and what the path back to yourself really involves. Because understanding what you were actually dealing with is usually where the healing starts.  What you'll hear about in this episode: Why narcissists are not like you: the personality trait most survivors share, and why it works against them. (2:16) The trauma myth: does trauma cause narcissism? Chelsey shares her insights. (6:33) Six types of narcissists: what each one looks like, and why the most dangerous ones often look the most harmless. (8:44) How narcissists approach communication: what they're actually doing in conversations, and why it's designed to keep you stuck.(26:42) The healing journey: the micro-shifts that actually move the needle, and where to start when you don't even know yourself anymore. (33:30) Learn more about Chelsey Brooke Cole: Chelsey Brooke Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, Certified Partner Trauma Therapist, and best-selling author of If Only I'd Known! How to Outsmart Narcissists, Set Guilt-Free Boundaries, and Create Unshakeable Self-Worth. She specializes in narcissistic abuse and complex trauma, with her work routinely featured in outlets like USA Today, HuffPost, and Psychology Today. Chelsey provides support to thousands of narcissistic abuse survivors each day through her speaking, writing, podcast, and comprehensive healing programs. She is the host of Restoring Resilience, a podcast dedicated to helping survivors heal and reclaim their lives, and the creator of Rewired for Resilience: Reclaiming Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse.  Resources & Links: Registration is now open for the Unbreakable Retreat!Kate Anthony's Complete Parenting Plan Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce  Chelsey's websiteGet a free e-book copy of Chelsey's book: If Only I'd Known! How to Outsmart Narcissists, Set Guilt-Free Boundaries, and Create Unshakeable Self-WorthChelsey's Masterclass: The Narcissist's Playbook Chelsey on Instagram =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. ===================
• Episode 371: Solo Episode: Before You Leave: How to Create a Safety Plan 04.06.2026 51min

  You may have heard it so many times. "Make a safety plan." And every single time, the women I talk to say the same thing: okay, but what does that actually mean? In this solo episode, I'm walking you through what a safety plan actually is, why it matters, how to contact a domestic violence agency or shelter before you're in crisis, and what kinds of help may be available even if you never spend a night in a shelter. We're talking about children, custody fears, documentation, technology safety, legal questions, and why leaving safely often requires more than courage. It requires information, support, and a plan. When you're sitting in your house trying to think through all of this, the part of your brain that is figuring things out or making decisions isn't really working. You're in trauma. And yet you're supposed to make a plan. With what money? Which car? What documents? With my children? Without my children? What if the shelter's full? What if he tracks my phone? What if I leave and he says I kidnapped the kids? What if I stay and something happens?  By the end of this episode, I want you to understand what goes into a safety plan, who can help you make one, how to think about shelters and domestic violence agencies, and what questions to ask before you take any action, especially if you have children.  A safety plan is not about living in fear. It's about refusing to let fear be the only thing in the room. Fear says, "I can't." A plan says, "Here's what I need to know." Maybe not today, but one private step is enough.  What you'll hear about in this episode: What shelter actually means and how to use it before you're in crisis Technology safety: phones, tracking, shared accounts, and what not to do first How to assess your risk and what goes into a safety plan based on that risk Identifying your safe people and what "safe" actually means Documents to gather: ID, financial records, car title and registration, and more How to document incidents in patterns, not just isolated events Building cash quietly: gift cards, separate accounts, and why money must be part of the plan The physical exit: routes, keys, cars, kids, pets, and where you're actually going Kids, custody fears, and why his threats are not legal advice How to talk to an advocate or attorney about risk, documentation, and timing Your go bag: what's in it, where it lives, and what to do if you can't get to it Resources & Links: Creating a Safety PlanSafety Planning Words, Phrases, & Questions Registration is now open for the Unbreakable Retreat! Kate Anthony's Complete Parenting Plan Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce  National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) Text START to 88788 thehotline.org (has a quick-close button) 211 (where available) for domestic violence resources, legal aid, emergency housing, food assistance, and victim services Aimee Says - an AI platform trained and designed specifically to support victims of domestic abuse Find state specific resources at: womenslaw.org =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. =================== Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-371-solo-episode-before-you-leave-how-to-create-a-safety-plan/
• Episode 370: The Book Every Protective Parent Needs: Helping Children Heal from Coercive Control with Dr. Christine Cocchiola 28.05.2026 42min

  Dr. Christine Cocchiola is back with a brand-new children's book called Every Moment of Every Day. It's a book for kids who are going back and forth between homes when one of those homes isn't safe. It gives children language for what they're feeling, and it gives protective parents a roadmap for how to support them when they come home. This book does something I haven't seen in any other children's book about divorce: it integrates somatic healing methods to help kids move out of survival mode and back into connection. It also gives children something abusers never do: choice and agency. We also talk about how to co-regulate when your child comes home dysregulated, which is so hard to do, but so incredibly important. And I ask Dr. C for her thoughts on the way narcissists and coercive controllers are often conflated. She explains why they are not the same. This is the kind of conversation that reminds me why we can't stop being fierce advocates for the people we work with every day. As Dr. C says, when kids finally connect the dots and the attachment gets rebuilt, it's the most beautiful thing to watch. And it starts with you. What you'll hear about in this episode: Why Dr. C wrote a children's book specifically for kids in shared custody situations with an abusive parent, and what she was trying to give them (4:59) How the book helps kids identify what they're feeling in their body, not just their emotions (6:43) What makes this book different from other divorce books, which tend to normalize and soften when kids actually need to be seen (9:53) How the book integrates somatic healing methods, and what that looks like in practice (10:42) Why narcissists and coercive controllers are not the same, and why that distinction matters enormously for how you navigate these systems (21:48) What Dr. C has learned from her own experience of parental alienation, and the beautiful reunification stories she's seeing now (34:12) Why telling your kids "Dad loves you and is doing the best he can" may actually be gaslighting them (37:33) Learn more about Dr. Christine Cocchiola: Christine M. Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW, is a recognized expert on coercive control and its impact on adult and child victims. As a college professor of social work, she earned her Doctorate in Clinical Social Work from New York University, where she was mentored by Dr. Evan Stark, a leading authority on coercive control. Dr. Cocchiola presents internationally on the dynamics of coercive control, educating professionals, advocates, and protective parents about children's lived experiences and the most effective intervention strategies for victims of abuse. A social justice advocate since age 19, she developed The Protective Parenting Program, an evidence-based, attachment-focused therapeutic model designed for parents whose children have been harmed by abusive partners. As both a survivor and protective parent, Dr. Cocchiola brings personal insight to her professional work. She is the author of the children's book Every Moment of Every Day and co-author of FRAMED: Women in the Family Court Underworld. Her TEDx talk with over 1.4 M views, "It is ALL Coercive Control," is available on YouTube.  Resources & Links: Registration is now open for the Unbreakable Retreat!Kate Anthony's Complete Parenting Plan Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce  Dr. Cocchiola's website Dr. C on Instagram Dr. C on Facebook =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. =================== Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-370-the-book-every-protective-parent-needs-helping-children-heal-from-coercive-control-with-dr-christine-cocchiola/
• Episode 369: Solo Episode: Living Together While Separated: How to Transition With Intention 21.05.2026 36min

  I'm back with a new solo episode this week, and I'm talking about something that is incredibly common, deeply complicated, and almost never talked about honestly: Living together while separated. Same house. Same kitchen. Same hallways. Maybe even the same bedroom — though if you can create different sleeping arrangements, please do. For most people, deciding the relationship is over does not mean you can immediately leave the house. Housing, finances, kids, legal strategy, logistics, or a spouse who refuses to go can all make physical separation impossible, at least for a while. This is the practical reality for so many people. And when you're in it, you need more than emotional endurance. You need structure. You need boundaries. You need a way to move through the day without letting the entire situation swallow you whole. In this episode, I'll walk you through how to survive this period with more clarity and intention. We'll talk about communication, emotional containment, household logistics, safety considerations, and how to begin treating this time as an actual transition — with movement, strategy, and support. And if you are leaving an unsafe marriage, I'll also talk through some important safety planning considerations, because living together while separating can require a very different level of strategy. What you'll hear about in this episode: Where people often get stuck when they keep acting like nothing has changed, even though everything has Why living together while separated is not appropriate in every situation, and what to consider if safety is a concern How to help your children begin adjusting to the new rhythm of divorced co-parenting before anyone moves out How to divide roles and responsibilities so the invisible infrastructure of the marriage becomes visible How to use this time strategically, including meeting with your attorney, documenting, understanding your finances, and opening your own accounts Why you need to talk to your kids about what's happening, and what you can actually say Resources & Links: Registration is now open for the Unbreakable Retreat!Kate Anthony's Complete Parenting Plan Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce  =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. =================== Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-369-solo-episode-living-together-while-separated-how-to-transition-with-intention/
• Episode 368: Divorce, Business Valuation, and Financial Infidelity with Jennifer Lee 14.05.2026 35min

  If you own a business, or your spouse does, or you built one together, divorce just got more complicated. You may be wondering, how will divorce impact the business? I'm so glad I have returning guest Jennifer Lee to answer this and other important questions.  In this episode, we get into what happens to the business you built together, what happens when there's been financial infidelity and the numbers don't add up or what to do when your spouse suddenly claims the business is tanking right as divorce hits the table.  Whether you're co-owners trying to figure out what comes next, or you're staring down a spouse who suddenly can't account for where the money went, this conversation will help you understand what you have, what you're owed, and how to make sure you don't walk away with less than you deserve.  What you'll hear about in this episode: Running the business together and getting divorced: whether you can actually keep it going, and what you need to get in writing when you do (2:36) When there's financial infidelity, the divorce is not amicable and what it takes to get to the real value of a business that's caught in the middle (6:04) Some considerations for business asset division during divorce (13:10) What to do when divorce is on the table and all of a sudden "the business isn't worth anything!" (17:23) How to handle avoidance and secrecy around financial disclosures (23:06) How Jennifer works with clients in the middle of a divorce, from financial triage to making sure you are walking away with what you are owed (25:12) Learn more about Jennifer Lee: Originally from Maryland, Jennifer brought her over 27 years (44 years if you count going into the office with her father as a child) of expertise in the financial services industry to Florida. Jennifer has found that a relationship with an advisor is most critical at the intersections in life where emotions collide with financial events. She enjoys facilitating her clients through challenges as they experience life's upsets such as divorce, the loss of a spouse, or business to retirement transition. Whether you are experiencing divorce, a business client expanding or selling your operation, or a couple wanting to make sure they have provided for their family, Modern-Wealth may be a good fit. Jennifer provides a fresh perspective to the financial planning process by digging deep to understand what drives her clients. At Modern-Wealth, they build long-lasting relationships. As part of their process, they encourage clients to communicate their values to the most important people in their lives by writing a family love letter. This led her to write "Squeeze the Juice: Live With Purpose-Then Leave a Legacy.  Resources & Links: Kate Anthony's Complete Parenting Plan Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce  Connect with Jennifer Lee: Jennifer's website Jennifer on Facebook Jennifer on Instagram Jennifer on LinkedIn =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. =================== Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-368-divorce-business-valuation-and-financial-infidelity-with-jennifer-lee/
• [Encore Episode] Healing from Relationship Betrayal with Michelle Mays 07.05.2026 59min

  I'm re-airing one of the most powerful conversations I've ever had on this podcast. This is my conversation with Michelle Mays, author of The Betrayal Bind, and it is one of the most in-depth explorations I've done of betrayal, attachment, and the very real, very complex reasons it can feel so impossible to leave or to stay and repair when trust has been broken at this level. "Divorce is common, and cheating is common. Because they are common, it doesn't mean they're not tremendously significant and have enormous ramifications for our mental and physical health," says Michelle. During our conversation, we discuss the importance of understanding what happened, explore betrayal through the lens of attachment systems, and unravel what happens to us when we experience this enormous injury. What you'll hear about in this episode: A new attachment-based model for understanding the impacts of cheating in relationships (7:52) Some of the binds in relationships that we can get stuck in including the shame bind and relational binds (12:55) Healing and repairing relationships: what it means to stay, and what it takes to repair the fractures betrayal has caused (23:25) What gets in the way of leaving when we want or know we need to leave (35:39) The difference between rebuilding emotional connection and rebuilding sexual connection (48:30) Learn more about Michelle Mays: Michelle Mays is a Licensed Professional Counselor and expert in treating sexual betrayal and trauma. She's also the author of the new book The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Has Hurt You the Worst. Michelle has created The Braving Hope™ Treatment Model to address the devastating dilemma that betrayed partners face when their significant other is unsafe to connect to, yet connection is the key to healing. Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in Virginia and Washington DC, and a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor. She was trained by Pia Mellody in the Post Induction Therapy model for treating developmental trauma and is currently completing her PhD in Clinical Sexology and certification in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples. Resources & Links: Kate Anthony's Complete Parenting Plan Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce  Connect with Michelle Mays: Michelle's website Michelle on Facebook Michelle on Instagram Michelle on YouTube Books: Michelle's book, The Betrayal BindFacing Codependence, Pia Mellody =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. =================== Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/encore-episode-healing-from-relationship-betrayal-with-michelle-mays
• Episode 367: Rituals for Divorce Grief with Barri Leiner Grant 30.04.2026 46min

  So much of what women contend with during divorce is really intense grief. Sometimes they don't name it that or even realize that's what's happening, but that is what's happening. Barri Leiner Grant, founder and Chief Grief Officer™ of The Memory Circle, is back with me to keep the conversation going about grieving before, during, and after divorce. For those new to Barri, her community and creative space is created for those learning to live with loss. She's a highly respected grief specialist, writer, coach, and educator, and she leads transformative gatherings, retreats, and workshops that explore grief tending tools, rituals, and practices that foster connection, healing, and hope. In this conversation, Barri and I get into why we're still such a grief-denying society when it comes to non-death loss, and we spend a good chunk of time on rituals. Because here's the thing: there is no funeral for a divorce. No burial, nothing formal. So we talk about how women can make their own. Like burying a copy of your decree (just not the only one, you'll need it). Lighting a candle on the anniversary. Writing yourself a letter. Painting the inside of your front door hot pink. Getting the tattoo. Whatever helps you name the loss, move the energy, and reclaim the space. What you'll hear about in this episode: Why women become their own judge and jury about naming non-death loss (1:54) Why grieving a divorce feels confusing even if you're the one who asked for it, and why the future you imagined is still a real loss (3:26) What Barri's own divorce (layered on top of losing her mom) taught her about asking for support (5:06) Why writing is one of the most accessible grief tending tools (20:02) Grief tending, self-compassion, and why it's not a just bath with salts (26:26) Why making your own ritual matters when the culture doesn't give you one (33:20) Learn more about Barri Leiner Grant: Barri Leiner Grant is a highly respected grief specialist, author and founder of The Memory Circle, a creative and healing space for remembrance and ritual. Barri brings a distinct aesthetic sensibility to the field of grief work—bridging beauty and healing in ways that feel modern, personal, and deeply human. She is the creator of Permission Granted, a widely read Substack newsletter that invites readers to navigate loss with honesty, tenderness, and earned wisdom. Barri is recognized for her unique approach to grief support, which combines writing storytelling, ritual and community to help people mark loss with intention and carry memories forward with care. Sought after as a speaker, collaborator, and guide, Barri is redefining how we talk about grief. Her work has been featured in The Washington Post, Psychology Today, Maria Shriver's Sunday paper and award winning podcasts. Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce  Connect with Barri Leiner-Grant The Memory Circle Barri on Instagram =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. =================== Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-367-rituals-for-divorce-grief-with-barri-leiner-grant/
• Episode 366: A Reflection of the Work: What's Possible on the Other Side of Divorce 23.04.2026 15min

  This weekend, I'm getting married. And before you're like, wait, what podcast am I listening to? stay with me. Because if you've been here a while, you know this show isn't just about leaving. It's about what comes after. It's about what's possible. So today I'm talking about what happens when you don't settle, what healthy love actually feels like, and how to know when you've found it. I wasn't sure if I wanted to record this one. So many of you are in the thick of heartbreak, confusion, fear, grief, and I never want to hold something up that feels inaccessible. But then I started telling my clients I'd be gone for a bit, and something really beautiful happened. One burst into tears. Not just for me, but with this sense of oh my god, this is possible. This exists. This might be real for me someday too. So here it is. Not as a prize at the end of divorce. Not as a reward for leaving. But, as a reflection of the work. What you'll hear about in this episode: The question almost every client asks me: how would I know? What it feels like to stop bracing for impact The baseline you're allowed to want, and why it isn't "too much" Why this isn't about rushing to find your person The relationship that has to come first is the one with yourself, no matter what Resources & Links: Save the Date: Unbreakable Retreat, September 10th through 13th in Sedona, Arizona Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce  =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. =================== Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-366-a-reflection-of-the-work-whats-possible-on-the-other-side-of-divorce/
• Episode 365: Children as Co-Victims of Coercive Control with Dr. Emma Katz 16.04.2026 56min

  I am so glad to bring Dr. Emma Katz back to the show. She is a senior lecturer in criminology at Edgehill University and one of the world's leading experts on coercive control. She is the author of Coercive Control in Children's and Mothers' Lives and writes the Substack Decoding Coercive Control, where she makes this research clear to process and digest for anyone navigating it in real life. Today we are focused on children and their lived experience of coercive control, and what actually supports them when one parent is trying to protect them inside constrained systems. In this conversation we explore what children are actually experiencing as co-victims and co-survivors of coercive control, both inside the home and after separation, when the tactics don't stop, they just shift. We get into what protective mothers can actually do to support their kids, why your own survival is already a road map, and how to talk to your children about what is happening in a way that helps them make sense of it without putting them in more danger. We also go deep on family court and why court-ordered systemic therapy in a coercive control situation is, in Emma's words, a match made in hell. What you'll hear about in this episode: How coercive control intensifies for children after separation, and what they are experiencing when they move between homes (2:34) How to talk to your children about abuse in a way that is ongoing, depersonalized, and actually safe (27:06) Family court and systemic therapy: how to navigate it strategically when you have no choice (35:36) The changes Emma is seeing in family court in the UK, why the US is moving in the opposite direction, and what that means for protective mothers (44:20) Final advice for protective mothers on building the anti-coercive control environment in your own home, and why even when you cannot fix what is happening, making your child feel heard is already so much (50:42) ✨ If you'd like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here. Learn more about Dr. Emma Katz Dr Emma Katz is Associate Professor at Durham University. She is an award-winning expert in domestic abuse and coercive control, whose work has influenced policy and professional practice in the UK and globally. Dr Katz's book, Coercive Control in Children's and Mothers' Lives (published in 2022 by Oxford University Press) is described by Professor Evan Stark as a 'pioneering work that will change how we understand and respond to children's experience of domestic abuse'. Follow Dr Katz on Substack to receive her popular blog Decoding Coercive Control with Dr Emma Katz. Resources & Links:Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce  Connect with Dr. Katz: Dr. Katz's Substack: Decoding Coercive Control  Dr. Katz on Instagram Dr. Katz on LinkedIn Dr. Katz on Facebook Dr. Katz on YouTube Books Mentioned: Floss and the BossLuna Little LegsTalking to My Mum: A Picture Workbook Workers, Mothers, Children Affected by Domestic Abuse Talking About Domestic Abuse: A Photo Activity Workbook to Develop Communication Between Mothers and Young People =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. =================== Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-365-children-as-co-victims-of-coercive-control-with-dr-emma-katz/
• Episode 364: Burnout After Divorce: What Nobody Prepares You For 09.04.2026 20min

  Something I hear increasingly among my client population is the experience of burnout after divorce. And this is the thing that very few people prepare you for. You've made it through the hardest decision of your life. You survived the chaos of the initial separation. You got through the legal process. And then you get to the other side, expecting to feel magically better, clear, and free. Instead, you feel exhausted. So in this week's solo episode, I am going to shine a light on what is actually happening in your body and your nervous system after divorce. Why it's so much more than just being tired, what burnout after divorce actually looks like and why it's so disorienting, and what regulated rebuilding actually looks like so you don't end up right back in depletion. What you'll hear about in this episode: Why burnout after divorce is about way more than just being tired How burnout actually shows up and why it catches so many women completely off guard What regulated rebuilding really looks like after years of survival mode How tiny micro-steps of noticing, honoring, and following through rebuild self-trust over time Why powering through burnout is the one thing that will set you back the most Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce Co-dependents Anonymous Al-Anon =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. =================== Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/364
• Episode 363: Codependency in Women: Signs, Patterns, and How to Break Free with Michelle Farris 02.04.2026 44min

  Imagine what it would be like to create healthy relationships without sacrificing ourselves as women. That is exactly what Michelle Farris helps women do. Michelle is a psychotherapist and codependency expert, and this conversation goes deep fast. She brings both the clinical knowledge and the lived experience of someone who has done her own recovery work, and honestly, we could not have been more in sync. Codependency is one of those words that gets thrown around a lot, and yet so many women are still walking around not fully recognizing themselves in it. At its core, it is what happens when someone hyperfocuses on helping, fixing, and controlling others in hopes of getting the love and validation that cannot be given to themselves. So externally focused that the magnifying glass never turns into the mirror. And if the focus is always on someone else, there is no reason to look inward. This conversation gets into what codependency actually is, why naming it is not a disservice but a necessity, and what it really takes to start building a relationship with yourself when the focus has been on everyone else for as long as anyone can remember.  Codependency recovery is not about fixing anyone else. It is about finally turning the focus inward. Knowing something is wrong is just the beginning. Finding yourself again is the work. What you'll hear about in this episode: What codependency actually is and why helping, fixing, and controlling are not the same as loving (2:10) Why getting targeted support for codependency and divorce separately actually matters (8:06) Labeling codependency as a "disservice to women": Michelle explains why the problem has to be named before healing can begin (9:45) How Michelle works with women who in codependency recovery and what that process looks like (23:55) How codependency directly impacts divorce outcomes and the ability to advocate for yourself (30:51) Why wrapping yourself in the identity of mother can become its own way of avoiding recovery and what it does to your kids (32:23) Boundaries, what they actually are, why they feel impossible at first, and how to start small (37:51) Learn more about Michelle Farris: Michelle Farris is a psychotherapist, codependency expert, and anger management specialist with a passion for helping people break free from toxic relationship patterns. She's been featured in top online publications and podcasts and has reached over 3 million viewers on her YouTube channel, where she's known for giving relationship skills that work. Michelle empowers her clients to stop people-pleasing, trust themselves again, and build healthy, connected relationships through practical tools for codependency recovery, emotional regulation, and self-trust. Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce  Michelle's websiteMichelle on YouTube Michelle on Facebook Michelle on Instagram Michelle on LinkedIn Pia Mellody Codependency Tree  =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. =================== Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-363-codependency-in-women-signs-patterns-and-how-to-break-free-with-michelle-farris  
• Episode 362: "Why Didn't I Leave Sooner?" Because you were becoming the person who could. 26.03.2026 20min

  The question I hear more than almost any other, from clients, from women inside Phoenix Rising, and from my community is: "Why didn't I leave sooner?" Perhaps it's an inner voice that nudges. It sounds like you, but it's partially your friends, your family, maybe your attorney or it's cultural. That voice asks, "If it was so bad, why did she stay?" or  "You should have known better." But here's what I want you to hear: waiting to leave is not a failure and leaving is not defined by a single moment. It's a process. You didn't fail to leave sooner, you were in the process of leaving. You were in the process of becoming the woman who could. In this episode I talk about what that process actually looks like and why the timeline you're judging yourself for may be exactly what made exiting your marriage possible. I get into how hope keeps women in relationships longer than almost anything else, and why that's not a weakness. I also explore why doing this self-work inside a community of women who get it, is exponentially more powerful than going through it alone. The goal isn't just to get out, it is to build something different on the other side. That's exactly what you're doing. What you'll hear about in this episode: How leaving starts as a whisper and why staying at that point actually feels like the more responsible choice Those practical realities like "where will I live?" or "what happens to the kids?", aren't about being stuck. They're about assessing risk. Leaving requires a version of you that doesn't exist yet, and becoming that person takes time How to reframe the question from "why didn't I leave sooner" to "what was I learning?" Why leaving before you're ready can actually prolong the cycle and how the timing, even when it feels late, is often exactly what you needed ✨ If you'd like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here Resources & Links:Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce  =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. =================== Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-362-why-didnt-i-leave-sooner-because-you-were-becoming-the-person-who-could/
• Episode 361: Why Dropping Divorce Rates Are Not Always Good News with Dr. Amelia Kelley 19.03.2026 54min

  TEDx speaker, author, neurodiversity and mental health advocate, and host of the Sensitivity Doctor podcast. Her work centers on relationship trauma and gaslighting recovery, and she brings over 20 years of clinical experience to everything she does. We have done some incredible episodes together, and this is no exception. Amelia recently brought to my attention a study exploring the impact of Kentucky's 50/50 shared custody ruling, which has been credited with dropping divorce rates by 25% or more. Articles are celebrating the decrease in divorce. And that is exactly what alarmed us. Here's why: Divorce rates are not dropping because people are happier in their marriages. What this ruling is actually doing is forcing victims to stay in unsafe marriages because they are terrified of their children being alone with their abuser 50% of the time.  Now other states are looking at Kentucky as a model of success worth replicating. So we are digging into what this actually means from a trauma-informed perspective. What happens in the nervous system when the legal system puts the burden of proof on the victim. Why a child witnessing abuse meets the clinical definition of PTSD, and why courts are not looking at it that way. And what it does to a survivor, psychologically and physiologically, when they are told they must hand their child to their abuser half of the time.  This is a legal conversation, but we are not here as attorneys. We are here as trauma-informed professionals who see what this is doing to survivors every single day. What you'll hear about in this episode: Why dropping divorce rates are not always a good thing and what is actually keeping people from leaving (2:40) The burden of proof is on the victim, and what that does to them psychologically (10:46) What happens in the nervous system when you are told you must share your child 50% of the time with your abuser (12:00) Why your attorney is not your therapist or divorce coach and why an interdisciplinary team matters (15:08) Aimee Says AI, the tool built for survivors that helps document, organize, and categorize abuse evidence (18:16) Why a child witnessing abuse is, by definition, a traumatized child and why courts don't see it that way (21:26) How to find a therapist who will testify, and why you need to ask upfront before you need them (23:42) Learn more about Dr. Amelia Kelley: Dr. Amelia Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist, professor, TED speaker, author, and neurodiversity and mental health advocate, as well as the host of The Sensitivity Doctor podcast. Her work centers on relationship trauma and gaslighting recovery, supporting those impacted by emotional and psychological harm in rebuilding self-trust, clarity, and nervous-system stability. With over 20 years of clinical experience, she takes an integrative, science-grounded approach informed by IFS, EMDR, somatic and polyvagal theory, and ADHD research. She is currently writing her forthcoming book on ADHD treatment in women with Norton Publishing. Resources & Links: Get Your Curated Podcast PlaylistFocused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce  Dr. Amelia Kelley's website Dr. Kelley on Facebook Dr. Kelley on Instagram Dr. Kelley on LinkedIn Episode 353: Aimee Says Updates: How Women Are Documenting Abuse in Real Time with Anne Wintemute Episode 335: Making Your Trauma Responses Work For You with Dr. Amelia Kelley Article: Kentucky's Equal Custody Law Shows Why America Needs Shared Parenting Presumptions =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. =================== Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-361-why-dropping-divorce-rates-are-not-always-good-news-with-dr-amelia-kelley/  
• Episode 360: Stop Explaining Yourself: Why It Makes High-Conflict Divorce Worse 12.03.2026 21min

  One of the things I see so often with women going through divorce, especially high conflict divorce, is this instinct to explain yourself, to clarify, to defend yourself, to make sure the other person understands what actually happened. But here's the problem: in a high conflict divorce, explaining yourself is often the very thing that keeps you stuck in the conflict. In this episode, I walk you through why the communication playbook that works in healthy relationships completely backfires when you're dealing with a high conflict personality, and what to do instead. Here's the thing: high conflict dynamics operate like a fire. Explanations are oxygen. Every time you write a long response or try to defend yourself, you're actually blowing air into the flames. Every explanation keeps you in the engagement. Every defense keeps you in the arena. You don't have to keep exhausting yourself trying to explain the truth to someone who has already decided not to hear it. You get to step out of that cycle and you get to move forward with a playbook that actually works in high conflict divorce. What you'll hear about in this episode: Why explanations don't resolve conflict in high conflict dynamics, they extend it How your words become fuel: long texts, clarifying emails, and attempts to correct the narrative all give the other person material to twist, screenshot, and weaponize The difference between the explanation mindset and the documentation mindset The BIFF method (Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm) and how to use it Why silence isn't capitulating and why not every accusation requires a response Resources & Links: Get Your Curated Podcast PlaylistFocused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce  =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. =================== Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-360-stop-explaining-yourself-why-it-makes-high-conflict-divorce-worse/  
• Episode 359: Assessing High Conflict Divorce Risk with Sarah McDugal 05.03.2026 50min

  Sarah McDugal is back on the podcast, and this time we're talking about what it actually takes to protect your children inside a family court system that often reframes abuse as "mutual high conflict" and makes the protective parent look like the problem. Sarah is a clarity coach and founder of Freedom Navigator and Wilderness to Wild, where she works exclusively with protective parents navigating high-conflict divorce and custody battles. In this conversation, we talk about why the ways most of us instinctively respond—explaining, defending, and trying to get people to understand the truth—can actually work against us in court. We also dive into Sarah's High Conflict Court Risk Index, an assessment designed to help parents understand early how likely their case is to become a long, drawn-out legal battle. The earlier you can see the terrain you're walking into, the more strategically you can move through it. And we talk about the kids. One of the most powerful reframes Sarah offers is that protecting our children doesn't always mean shielding them from harm. Sometimes the greatest protection we can give them is helping them learn how to navigate difficult realities with clarity, resilience, and support. If you're deep in a high-conflict case and feel like everything you do somehow gets used against you, you're not imagining it. The family court system is not what most of us think it is—and fighting it the way we naturally want to can sometimes make things worse. This conversation offers a different playbook. What you'll hear about in this episode: Why what family court labels "high conflict" is very often an abuser-victim dynamic, not a mutual conflict situation (5:28) How you can shift the dynamics in court by changing yourself, not by trying to change the other person or the system (11:10) The High Conflict Court Risk Index, what it assesses, who it is for, and why taking it early means you can start the right conversations sooner (12:28) Why an interdisciplinary divorce team saves you time, money, and unnecessary damage (24:28) What to do when your high conflict court risk comes back moderate to high, and where to go for support (23:30) Why protecting your kids from all harm is not the goal and how to start teaching them to navigate tricky people and tricky situations instead (31:30) ✨ If you'd like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here. Learn more about Sarah McDugal:Sarah McDugal is a clarity coach and founder of FREEDOM Navigator and Wilderness to WILD. She works exclusively with protective parents in high-conflict divorce and custody battles. In addition to a master's degree, Sarah holds certifications and training in: Master Certified Professional Coach (MCPC), Certified High Conflict Legal Dispute Resolver, High Conflict Institute, Certified Assessor: Danger and Lethality Assessment, Johns Hopkins University School of Nursing, Deceptive Sexuality and Trauma Treatment (DSTT) Training, Dr. Omar Minwalla, and APSATS Model for Multi-Dimensional Partner Trauma (MPTM) Training. After surviving nearly a decade of custody litigation herself, Sarah equips her clients with trauma-informed tools, court-ready case prep resources, and strategic battle plans to fight smarter for the long haul — without losing their sanity, their kids, or their voice. Known for her blend of ethical precision and empathetic strength, Sarah empowers protective parents to transform survival into strategy — guiding weary warriors to rise with endurance, resilience, and courage. Resources & Links: Get Your Curated Podcast PlaylistFocused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce  High Conflict Court Risk Index Freedom Navigator WebsiteSarah on LinkedIn Sarah on Instagram Sarah on YouTube Episode 109: DSG Abuse Mini-Series: Escaping Toxic Relationships and Abuse in Faith-Based Communities with Sarah McDugal =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM  
• Episode 358: Anger is Not a Communication Issue 26.02.2026 25min

  Let's talk about something that sits at the center of so many of the conversations I have with women: men's rage is not a communication issue. It's a responsibility issue. So many of us are taught to treat anger like something that can be solved with better tools, better timing, or more understanding. Something you can help fix. But when anger creates fear, when it's targeted, when it's tied to entitlement or control, we are no longer talking about miscommunication. We are talking about power. That realization can be destabilizing, even terrifying, because if it were just communication, you could work on it together. But when you find yourself managing someone else's moods, shrinking to avoid escalation, or feeling unsafe expressing yourself, the issue is no longer communication.  In this solo episode, you'll learn what it looks like to step back, observe behavior over time, and trust the information your body is giving you. Because until responsibility is taken consistently and independently, nothing changes. What you'll hear about in this episode: How fear signals a power dynamic, not a communication breakdown What it means when someone controls their anger everywhere except with you Why couples therapy requires safety and equality and what happens when those aren't present The difference between panic when access is removed and true accountability How to recognize real change through sustained behavior, not short term effort Why sex during separation can undermine clarity How underlying beliefs about entitlement, control, and dominance fuel chronic anger The role financial entanglement plays in keeping people psychologically stuck How separation becomes a period of observation where behavior, not words, is the data Why a calmer nervous system is meaningful information you should not ignore ✨ If you'd like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here. Resources & Links: Get Your Curated Podcast PlaylistFocused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce  Episode 356: How to Assess Real Change When a Partner Promises Everything =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. =================== Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-358-anger-is-not-a-communication-issue/  
• Episode 357: The Truth About Mortgage Assumptions with Tami Wollensak 19.02.2026 48min

  I'm welcoming back one of your favorite guests and one of mine, divorce mortgage specialist Tami Wollensak, because we need to talk about the house. Specifically… what actually happens to it in divorce and what your real options are. Mortgage rules have shifted, interest rates have changed, and the questions I hear from clients all the time still come back to the same thing:  Can I keep the house?  Should I keep the house?  Is it even possible? Tami and I walk through the realities behind keeping the marital home, including what people misunderstand about ownership, how mortgage assumption actually works, and why the emotional pull to keep it has to be balanced with long-term financial stability. We also talk about what happens when plans fall through, how to build backup strategies into your agreements, and why sometimes the smartest move is stepping back instead of fighting to stay. This conversation walks through the real financial and legal realities of what happens to the house in divorce. Because wanting the house and being able to keep the house are not always the same thing. What you'll hear about in this episode: The biggest misconception about "wanting to keep the house" (2:18) What mortgage assumption means and why you must ask the right questions (8:32) Why home ownership isn't always the healthiest financial decision after divorce (23:14) What happens when a mortgage assumption falls through and how to recover (41:32) Resources & Links: Assessing Change WorksheetGet Your Curated Podcast PlaylistFocused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce  Tami's Website Episode 204: Take or Leave the House? With Tami Wollensak =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. =================== Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-357-the-truth-about-mortgage-assumptions-with-tami-wollensak/