A Good Length

Epizode

• Episode 7 - Child Support: Why the System Is Broken — And How to Fix It 19.07.2026 42min

  Child support in Australia isn't a system that guarantees money reaches children — it's a formula that transfers wealth between adults and calls it justice. In this episode of I break down exactly how the current system ties custody time to cash, why that turns parenting time into a financial lever, and why the incentive structure is quietly manufacturing the very conflict it claims to prevent. This isn't an argument that fathers are victims or that mothers are villains. It's a structural critique — of a system built on decades-old assumptions about gender, parenting, and money — and a practical, evidence-based blueprint for what genuine reform would look like.If you're a father navigating separation, a policymaker, or just someone who wants to understand why family law conflict is so often financially — not emotionally — driven, this episode lays out the architecture of the problem and a real path forward.In this episode:– How Services Australia's child support formula actually works, and why the 35% and 66% care thresholds change everything financially– Why tying money to nights turns custody into a financial negotiation– The case for decoupling child support from custody time entirely– A direct third-party payment model: paying schools, health funds, and childcare providers instead of an ex-partner– Voluntary underemployment and the "capacity to earn" loophole– Binding Financial Agreements (BFAs) and Binding Child Support Agreements (BCSAs) — the contractual protections most men never use– The weaponisation of custody and family law allegations for financial leverage– What the research says about shared parenting and child development outcomesChapters:Introduction: When Everything You Assumed About Fatherhood Gets Fed Into a MachineSection 1: The Architecture of the Problem (how the formula actually works, the 35% and 66% thresholds)Section 2: Uncoupling Finances From Parenting TimeSection 3: Direct Payment to Third Parties — The Operational ModelSection 4: Equalised Parenting Outcomes — When the Money DisappearsSection 5: Voluntary Underemployment — The Invisible ManipulationSection 6: Binding Financial Agreements & Binding Child Support AgreementsSection 7: The Weaponisation of CustodySection 8: The Real Cost to ChildrenSection 9: The Bigger PictureSources & References:Australian Institute of Family Studies (2019). Post-separation parenting arrangements and developmental outcomes for children: Overview Report. Melbourne: AIFS.Nielsen, L. (2014). Shared physical custody: Summary of 40 studies on outcomes for children. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 55(8), 613–635.Cancian, M., & Meyer, D.R. (2014). Testing the economic independence hypothesis. Demography, 51(3), 857–880.Trinder, L. (2010). Shared residence: A review of recent research evidence. Child and Family Law Quarterly, 22(4), 475–498.Skinner, C., Bradshaw, J., & Davidson, J. (2007). Child Support Policy: An International Perspective. UK DWP, Research Report No. 405.Australian Law Reform Commission (2019). Family Law for the Future. Report 135. Canberra: ALRC.Sarkadi, A., Kristiansson, R., Oberklaid, F., & Bremberg, S. (2008). Fathers' involvement and children's developmental outcomes. Acta Paediatrica, 97(2), 153–158.Smyth, B. (Ed.) (2004). Parent-child contact and post-separation parenting arrangements. AIFS Research Report No. 9.Rhoades, H. (2010). The rise and rise of shared parenting laws. Canadian Journal of Family Law, 25(1), 185–210.Family Law Act 1975 (Cth), Part VIIIA — Financial Agreements.Child Support (Assessment) Act 1989 (Cth), Part 6 — Child Support Agreements.Disclaimer: This episode is for general information and discussion purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Always seek independent legal advice from a qualified family lawyer for your specific circumstances.#ChildSupport #FamilyLaw #Fatherhood #Divorce #Custody #Parenting #FamilyCourt #Podcast
• Episode 6 - Is there still a place for traditional gender roles? 12.07.2026 46min

  Traditional gender roles aren't the problem — the silence around them is. In this episode, I break down the provider myth: the men quietly crushed by being taken for granted, and the men shamed for stepping outside the breadwinner script. Drawing on research into role strain, masculine identity, and relationship satisfaction — plus my own failed marriage — I lay out what genuine, freely chosen roles actually require, and why "choice" without honest conversation is just a prison with a nice origin story.References:1. Umberson, D., Pudrovska, T., & Reczek, C. (2010). Parenthood, childlessness, and well-being: A life course perspective. Journal of Health and Social Behavior, 51(4), 612–629. https://doi.org/10.1177/00221465103838982. Levant, R. F., Hall, R. J., Williams, C. M., & Hasan, N. T. (2009). Gender differences in alexithymia. Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 10(3), 190–203. https://doi.org/10.1037/a00156523. Doucet, A. (2016). Is the stay-at-home father a feminist act? Fathering, 14(2), 182–198. https://doi.org/10.3149/fth.1402.1824. Kramer, K. Z., Kelly, E. L., & McCulloch, J. B. (2015). Stay-at-home fathers: Definition and characteristics based on 34 years of CPS data. Journal of Family Issues, 36(12), 1651–1673. https://doi.org/10.1177/0192513X135024795. Fetterolf, J. C., & Eagly, A. H. (2011). Do young women expect gender equality in their future lives? An answer from a possible selves experiment. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 35(2), 252–270.https://doi.org/10.1177/0361684310391frm Books ReferencedPeterson, J. B. (2018). 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos. Random House Canada.Pollack, W. (1998). Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood. Random House.Gilmore, D. D. (1990). Manhood in the Making: Cultural Concepts of Masculinity. Yale University Press.Parsons, T., & Bales, R. F. (1955). Family, Socialization and Interaction Process. Free Press.Brown, B. (2010). The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are. Hazelden Publishing.
• Episode 5 - What modern men can learn from feminism 05.07.2026 37min

  What if the feminist movement — arguably the most successful identity movement of the last 100 years — holds the roadmap for how men need to evolve today?In this episode of A Good Length, I make the case that feminism expanded what a woman could be, while men's internal idea of manhood stayed largely unchanged. That mismatch is at the heart of the modern male identity crisis.Drawing on Simone de Beauvoir, Betty Friedan, Richard Reeves, Andrew Huberman, Anna Machin, Jordan Peterson, and Warren Farrell, I walk through seven lessons a healthy masculinity movement can take from feminism's playbook — from expanding identity beyond provider/protector, to building brotherhood, to separating advocacy from hatred.I also get personal: what domestic, parenting, and emotional independence actually look like for fathers, why they matter in family court, and what I learned rebuilding my own life after divorce.This is a conversation about expanding masculinity, not erasing it. Share it with a man who needs it.I'm Dr. Venu Bhamidi. I hope this one lands on a good length.References:Australian Institute of Health and Welfare. (2023). Suicide and self-harm monitoring. AIHW. https://www.aihw.gov.au/suicide-self-harm-monitoringBrown, B. (2012). Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. Gotham Books.Cigna. (2020). Loneliness and the Workplace: 2020 U.S. Report. Cigna Corporation.de Beauvoir, S. (1949). The Second Sex. Gallimard.Farrell, W. (1993). The Myth of Male Power. Simon & Schuster.Friedan, B. (1963). The Feminine Mystique. W. W. Norton.Huberman, A. (2022). The Science of Emotions and Relationships. Huberman Lab Podcast.Episode 13.Kimmel, M. (2008). Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men. HarperCollins.Levant, R. F., & Richmond, K. (2007). A review of research on masculinity ideologies using the Male Role Norms Inventory. Journal of Men's Studies, 15(2), 130–146.Machin, A. (2018). The Life of Dad: The Making of the Modern Father. Simon & Schuster.Perel, E. (2006). Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence. HarperCollins.Peterson, J. B. (2018). 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos. Random House Canada.Reeves, R. V. (2022). Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why ItMatters, and What to Do About It. Brookings Institution Press.van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Viking.Australian Bureau of Statistics. (2021). How Australians Use Their Time, 2020–21. ABS. https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/people-and-communities/how-australians-use-their-timeFamily Law Act 1975 (Cth), s 60CC — Factors in determining what is in a child's best interests. Federal Register of Legislation. https://www.legislation.gov.auMachin, A. (2018). The Life of Dad: The Making of the Modern Father. Simon & Schuster.Australian Institute of Family Studies. (2023). Families Then and Now: Parenting. AIFS. https://aifs.gov.au🎙 A Good Length with Dr. Venu BhamidiYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCo0gj8PM5yrJ3Dnleh_RGlQSpotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5XbFjzywgGH5mfl4o0pEMD Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-good-length/id1896891417 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/agoodlength?igsh=ZGRxejZjZ2xmMjI4&utm_source=qrFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/agoodlength/ TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@a_good_length
• Episode 4 - Is Marriage Worth it in 2026? 28.06.2026 43min

  Should a Man Get Married in 2026? The honest, data-driven answer.Every man is asking this question — in the gym, at the pub, in his own head at 2am. But almost nobody is asking it out loud. Dr. Venu Bhamidi does exactly that. In this episode of A Good Length, Dr Bhamidi unpacks the marriage question with the clarity it deserves — not with cynicism, not with romanticism, but with facts, law, and hard-won personal experience.What you'll learn:Why the marriage contract changed fundamentally in 1975 — and why most men were never toldThe real Australian divorce statistics (and why the 40% figure is actually optimistic)Who initiates divorce — and what that means for men legally and financiallyHow Australian Family Law divides assets, and why "50-50" is rarely the realityThe 2024 custody law changes every father needs to understandA 5-step framework for any man genuinely considering marriage in 2026Why disengaged men, MGTOW, and declining marriage rates are a symptom — not the causeDr. Bhamidi also shares what he lost personally — and what he wishes he'd known.This isn't an anti-marriage episode. It's a pro-informed-marriage episode#AustralianFamilyLaw #DivorceLaw #ModernMasculinity #MensMentalHealth #FamilyLawAustralia #fathers #fatherhood #BindingFinancialAgreement #FamilyLawAct #DivorcedDads #FatherhoodAcrossDistance #FatherlessAmerica #AGoodLength #DrVenuBhamidi #MensPodcast #PositiveMasculinity #ModernDating #RelationshipAdvice #MarriageAdvice #Dating2026
• Episode 3 - Attack on Masculine Competence 21.06.2026 42min

  There is a quiet war being waged on modern masculinity — not with weapons, but through classrooms, algorithms, media narratives, and the stories young men are being told about themselves. In this episode, Dr Venu Bhamidi makes the case that masculine competence — the drive to build, protect, provide, and master your craft — is under direct cultural and institutional attack, and the data backs him up. Dr. Bhamidi examines why boys are falling behind in education, why men are dying by suicide at three to four times the rate of women, and why our public conversation keeps missing the point.This episode covers:The 5 core capacities of masculine competenceThe science of precarious manhood and what happens when male identity is destabilisedThe 5 cultural mechanisms eroding male competence — and how to name them clearlyThe difference between competence-centred and resentment-centred masculinity content8 grounded principles for rebuilding masculine identity under pressureThe generational contract between older and younger men — and why it's breaking downThis is not an argument against women. It is an honest, evidence-based examination of what men need to thrive — and what happens to families, communities, and society when we fail to provide it.🎙 A Good Length with Dr. Venu BhamidiInstagram: @agoodlengthpodcastSpotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5XbFjzywgGH5mfl4o0pEMDApple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-good-length/id1896891417Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/agoodlength/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCo0gj8PM5yrJ3Dnleh_RGlQ#MenMatter #MensHealth #Fatherhood #MentalHealth #MaleAdvocacy #PsychologicalSafety #Divorce #FamilyLaw #MensMentalHealth #ParentalAlienation #Masculinity #SeparatedFathers #SuicidePrevention #fatherhood #mentoo #fatherson #dadsmatter #AGoodLength #DrVenuBhamidi #fathers #mentoo #dadsandsonsReferences1. Mokhwelepa, L.W., & Sumbane, G.O. (2025). Men's Mental Health Matters: The Impact of Traditional Masculinity Norms on Men's Willingness to Seek Mental Health Support. American Journal of Men's Health2. Legewie, J., & DiPrete, T.A. (2012). SchoolContext and the Gender Gap in Educational Achievement. American Sociological Review,3. Feldman, H.A., et al. (2002). Age Trends in Serum Testosterone in Middle-Aged Men: Longitudinal Results from the Massachusetts Male Aging Study. Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism, 4. Coleman, D., Feigelman, W., & Rosen, Z. (2020). Association of high traditional masculinity and risk of suicide death.JAMA Psychiatry5. Glasser, N.J., et al. (2024). Male gender expressivity and diagnosis and treatment of modifiable cardiovascular diseaserisks. JAMA Network Open.6. Rice, S. (2021). Gender norms and the mentalhealth of boys and young men. The Lancet Public Health.7. Galdas, P.M., et al. (2025). Designing men'shealth policy: the 5R Framework. The Lancet Public Health.8. Vandello, J.A., et al. (2008). Precarious manhood. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 9. Bareket, O. (2025). Lost opportunities: How gendered arrangements harm men. PNAS (Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences).10. McGraw, J., et al. (2021). Masculinity and men's health service use across four social generations. Ten to Men: Australian Longitudinal Study on Male Health.11. DiPrete, T.A., & Buchmann, C. (2013). The Rise of Women: The Growing Gender Gap in Education. Russell Sage Foundation.Books1. Richard Reeves — Of Boys and Men: Why theModern Male Is Struggling (2022).2. Warren Farrell & John Gray — The Boy Crisis(2018). B3. Connell, R.W. (2005). Masculinities, 2ndEdition4. Robert Glover — No More Mr. Nice Guy (2003).
• Episode 2 - Cost of speaking up 14.06.2026 23min

  In this episode, Dr. Venu Bhamidi explores the growing crisis of psychological safety for men. Why do so many men remain silent about their pain? What happens when vulnerability feels dangerous? And what are the consequences for fathers, families, relationships and society when men no longer believe it is safe to tell the truth about their experiences?Drawing on personal experience, psychological research, and broader cultural observations, this conversation examines male silence, emotional suppression, depression, addiction, suicide, fatherhood, family law, and the importance of creating spaces where men can speak honestly without fear of ridicule, dismissal, or retaliation. It is a conversation about recognising that men suffer too, and that a healthy society should be capable of holding both truths at the same time. Openness without psychological safety feels less like vulnerability and more like exposure.This episode examines:Why men often choose silence over honestyThe hidden cost of psychological unsafetyThe link between suppressed pain, depression, addiction, anger and suicideWhy separated fathers often feel unable to share their experiencesThe paradox of modern conversations around male vulnerabilityThe false binary that says supporting men means opposing womenHow we create safer spaces for men to speak, heal and reconnectThis is not a conversation about blame. It is a conversation about understanding If this episode resonates with you, please follow the show, leave a rating, and share it with someone who may need to hear it.🎙 A Good Length with Dr. Venu BhamidiInstagram: @agoodlengthpodcastSpotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5XbFjzywgGH5mfl4o0pEMDApple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-good-length/id1896891417Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/agoodlength/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCo0gj8PM5yrJ3Dnleh_RGlQ#MenMatter #MensHealth #Fatherhood #MentalHealth #MaleAdvocacy #PsychologicalSafety #Divorce #FamilyLaw #MensMentalHealth #ParentalAlienation #Masculinity #SeparatedFathers #SuicidePrevention #fatherhood #mentoo #fatherson #dadsmatter #AGoodLength #DrVenuBhamidiAcademic Reference/Citations:Addis, M. E., & Mahalik, J.R. (2003). Men, masculinity, and the contexts of help seeking. American Psychologist, 58(1), 5–14.Australian Bureau of Statistics (2023). Causes of Death, Australia. ABS. Retrieved from abs.gov.au.Levant, R. F., & Richmond, K. (2007). A review of research on masculinity ideologies using the male role norms inventory. The Journal of Men’s Studies, 14(2), 130–146.Mahalik, J. R., et al. (2003). Development of the Conformity to Masculine Norms Inventory. Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 4(1), 3–25.Reeves, R. V. (2022). Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do About It. Brookings Institution Press.Seidler, Z. E., et al. (2016). The role of masculinity in men’s help-seeking for depression: A systematic review. Clinical Psychology Review, 49, 106–118.van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Viking.Wyllie, C., et al. (2012). Men, suicide and society: Why disadvantaged men in mid-life die by suicide. Samaritans Research Report.
• Episode 1 - Intro 07.06.2026 14min

  Welcome to the very first episode of A Good Length. I’m Dr. Venu Bhamidi, a Vascular Surgeon based on the Gold Coast, Australia. Im a father of two boys, and someone who has spent the last few years navigating many of the challenges that modern men face—fatherhood, relationships, separation, mental health, identity, purpose, and rebuilding after life’s setbacks. This podcast exists to explore male advocacy, men’s health, and the skills, habits, and mindsets that help men build meaningful lives. Through honest solo episodes and conversations with experts, professionals, fathers, husbands, athletes, and everyday men, we’ll tackle the topics that shape modern masculinity. We’ll discuss:• Men’s mental health• Fatherhood and parenting• Relationships and dating• Physical health and longevity• Purpose and identity• Family law and social issues• Leadership and resilience• Building masculine competenceIn this introductory episode, I share the personal story behind why I started this podcast, the challenges that inspired it, and the mission that drives it.Whether you’re a young man searching for direction, a father trying to be better, or simply someone who values thoughtful conversation, I hope you’ll find something here that helps.If you enjoy the episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who might benefit from the conversation.🎙️ Follow the podcast Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@AGoodLengthApple PodcastsInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/agoodlength/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61587106588205Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@a_good_length