Ladies, We Need To Talk

Episodet

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  "I'm actually gay": My husband's best kept secret 15.09.2026 27min

  An "I do" between husband and wife comes with many promises, not least of which is to be truthful.  So what do you do when your husband comes out as gay? For some women, it's a revelation that up-ends decades of marriage, family and identity. Can these relationships survive? And if they don't, how do you move beyond the hurt and build a new life? Yumi Stynes speaks to women who learned their husbands were gay after years of marriage and shared lives. This episode will answer questions like: How can I talk to my husband about his sexuality? How can I tell if my husband is gay? Can I ask my husband if he is gay? If my husband watches gay porn, is he gay? Where can I find support? What to listen to next: Quiet Quitting Marriage: Why Women Are Emotionally Checking Out — ABC listen What to read next: The women 'quietly quitting' their marriages — ABC News This episode contains references to divorce, coming out, sexuality, gender identity, same-sex attraction and homosexuality.
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  Our bodies, our choice. But are abortion rights under threat? 08.09.2026 28min

  Abortion is legal across Australia, but safe, affordable access is still not guaranteed for everyone. While three quarters of Australians support abortion access, finding a GP who will help is a postcode lottery. And the fallout from the 2022 reversal of Roe v Wade is being felt in Australia, with US-inspired protests and political tactics entering the fray. Yumi sits down with GP Dr Keersten Fitzgerald to learn about the roadblocks to getting an abortion, and talks to historian Dr Prudence Flowers about the recent push to limit abortion in Australia. Other resources: If you're in Victoria, My options runs a free sexual and reproductive health service help line. In NSW, Search Plus is a new tool operated by Family planning to help with reproductive or sexual health services. Pink Elephant is a national service available on 1300 726 306 run by PANDA. This episode will answer questions like: When can I have an abortion in Australia? When can I have an abortion? What is a medical abortion? How do you get an abortion? Is abortion legal in Australia? Why do people get an abortion? What to listen to next: Quiet Quitting Marriage: Why Women Are Emotionally Checking Out — ABC listen What you don't know about the mental load with Leah Ruppanner — ABC listen What to read next: The women 'quietly quitting' their marriages — ABC News This episode contains references to healthcare, abortion, reproductive rights, surgical abortion, medical abortion and termination.
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  Quiet Quitting Marriage: Why Women Are Emotionally Checking Out 01.09.2026 28min

  Instead of dealing with the upheaval of divorce, some women are quietly quitting their role as wife. Physically, they're there, going through the motions, but emotionally they've checked out. There's no huge conflict, but there's also no urge to try to make things work. Yumi Stynes talks to women who have taken a step back from their marriages but aren't ready to officially split. They're staying for the sake of the kids, to save money or are biding their time, waiting for the right moment to leave. And clinical psychologist Dr Cassandra Shields unpacks the reasons some women quietly quit their marriages, and the toll it takes to live separately under the one roof. This episode will answer questions like: What does quiet quitting a relationship look like? Is quiet quitting a marriage like a divorce? Is my marriage headed for a divorce? If someone's quiet quitting, is the relationship over? What to listen to next: "Traded a husband for a bestie" Why these mums moved in together What to read next: Empty-nesters on how they 'fill the void' left by children This episode contains references to separation, quiet quitting, divorce, burnt out pursuer and mental load.
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  What you don't know about the mental load with Leah Ruppanner 25.08.2026 25min

  We've been talking about the mental load for decades, so why are so many women still carrying it? It's the unseen mental and emotional work we do to keep our lives running — the planning, problem-solving, and remembering that often goes unnoticed. The term isn't new, but our understanding of it is changing. Yumi is joined by sociologist Leah Ruppanner, who interviewed thousands of women as part of a research project to develop tools to help manage and lighten your mental load. As part of this research, Leah's developed a simple online quiz that breaks the mental load into eight categories, helping you see where your energy is going and how you might redistribute it. Further information Drained: Reduce Your Mental Load to Do Less and Be More is published by Penguin Random House Free Mental Load Assessment | Lighten Lab | Professor Leah Ruppanner) This episode will answer questions like: What is the mental load? How can I reduce the mental load? How does carrying the load impact women? How can I share the mental load? What are the eight categories of the mental load What to listen to next: "Traded a husband for a bestie" Why these mums moved in together Worst ever dates, with Alita Brydon What to read next: Empty-nesters on how they 'fill the void' left by children Women on being in a sexless marriage and tips for reconnecting This episode contains references to the mental load, housework, invisible labour, emotional labour, parenting, emotional responsibility.
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  "I wish I'd never had them": the pain of regretting kids 18.08.2026 30min

  Having children is one of the most rewarding and meaningful things we can do. But what if you wish you'd never become a parent? For mothers especially, the taboo of admitting they regret their children can be incredibly lonely. Many carry their grief, loss of identity and exhaustion in silence. Yumi Stynes gets a rare window into the lives of people who love their children but admit that if they could go back in time, they'd make a different choice. Featured in this episode:  Ella Reed, sociologist at Monash University researching maternal regret  This episode will answer questions like:   What does it feel like to regret having kids? Why do some parents regret having children? Where do you get help if you’re struggling as a parent? How does regretting children impact a romantic relationship? Why is maternal regret so taboo?  What to listen to next:  "Traded a husband for a bestie" Why these mums moved in together  Worst ever dates, with Alita Brydon  The grief no parent expects  What to read next:  Empty-nesters on how they 'fill the void' left by children Women on being in a sexless marriage and tips for reconnecting These grieving mothers want you to say their babies' names This episode contains references to motherhood, parenting, mothering, regret, anxiety, depression, suffering, family, mental load, support, relationships, romance.
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  ‘I'm always going to be the mistress’: Dating a married man 11.08.2026 29min

  There’s a special kind of fury reserved for the 'other woman.' She’s often depicted as a home wrecker and immoral, but is she misunderstood? Unlucky to fall for someone who’s already taken?    Yumi Stynes speaks with women whose hearts belong to married men and discovers that beneath the stereotypes are complicated love stories built on hope and promises in the face of deception.     Psychologist Liz Neal also explains what forbidden love does to the brain and why it can be so enticing. (R).  This episode will answer questions like:  What’s it like to be the other woman? How do people hide affairs from their partners? Why do people have affairs? Where does the ‘seductive mistress’ trope come from?  What to listen to next:  "Traded a husband for a bestie" Why these mums moved in together  Worst ever dates, with Alita Brydon  The grief no parent expects  What to read next:  These grieving mothers want you to say their babies' names  Empty-nesters on how they 'fill the void' left by children  This episode contains references to cheating, infidelity, sex, relationships, marriage, women, the other woman.  
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  "Traded a husband for a bestie." Why these mums moved in together 04.08.2026 25min

  Have you ever fantasised about raising kids with your bestie? Well, some women are doing it for real. And these mum communes or ‘mummunes’ don’t look like your average share house.   These women are sharing a roof, chores, bills and the mental load of raising their kids. For some, it’s the antidote to a nuclear family structure that left them drained and resentful. For others, it’s a handy, albeit overcrowded solution to the struggles of single motherhood.  Yumi Stynes speaks to women who are rewriting the rules of motherhood and finds out what there is to gain when you challenge the status quo.   This episode will answer questions like:  Can you raise children with your best friend? Should you raise children with a romantic partner? Why do women feel burnt out as wives and mothers? Has the nuclear family become outdated for women? Do you need men to raise kids? What are the challenges of raising kids with your best friend? How do communal living arrangements deal with money? How does dating work in a mummune? Why do women initiate household and child care more than men?  What to listen to next:  Are you mum or grandma? Having a baby at 47 The women who've never had sex One true love or many: Monogamy vs. open relationships What to read next:  These grieving mothers want you to say their babies' names Empty-nesters on how they 'fill the void' left by children  Why these women have never had a partner This episode contains references to child care, parenting, mothering, single mum, alternative family structures, romantic partner, heterosexuality, patriarchy, mommune, mummune, commune, shared living, alternative living, community, individualism, village.
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  Worst ever dates, with Alita Brydon 28.07.2026 26min

  It’s truth universally acknowledged that a single woman in the modern world has endured at least one truly disastrous date. It is, regrettably, a rite of passage.  Author Alita Bryson has been on hundreds of them! One guy asked her if it was okay to marry your cousin, another trolled people online for fun while yet another literally drove off mid-date.  While her dating life was catastrophic, Alita realised it made great fodder for entertainment and so she started the Instagram page Bad Dates of Melbourne, publishing anonymous submissions of terrible dates so that women could take comfort in each other’s suffering (and laugh at each other’s misfortune).   Alita has some sage advice for anyone out there brave enough to date.  Further information:  How to date like a dangerous woman is published by HarperCollins.  This episode will answer questions like:  How can I meet someone new? Is it ok to ghost someone? Should I pay for dinner on a date? Can I leave a date if I don’t like the other person? How can I meet a potential date safely?  What to listen to next:  The new way to date The ugly side of the beauty industry with Jess DeFino Is your attachment style messing with your love life? Jess Mauboy steps into her boss lady era   What to read next:  Empty-nesters on how they 'fill the void' left by children   Why these women have never had a partner  These grieving mothers want you to say their babies' names  This episode contains references to Bad Dates of Melbourne, dating, dating apps, Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, relationships, sex, orgies, orgasms and how to date like a dangerous woman. 
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  The grief no parent expects 21.07.2026 29min

  At some point in life, we all lose someone we love. But losing a baby is an unimaginable heartbreak. Our children are not meant to die before us. In the wake of that loss, families are left reeling. Navigating shock, confusion, and overwhelming grief as they face a future without a much-loved child. Yumi Stynes meets two women who have experienced infant loss. They share how they moved through their grief, how they celebrate their babies, and how people in their life stepped up- or stepped away. And registered psychologist, Rachel Ficinus explains how grief can be ongoing and the strategies to help you and your loved ones navigate a life-changing loss. If you need help: Red Nose Australia offers counselling and support for anyone affected by the loss of a pregnancy, stillbirth, death of a baby or child. Their phone number is 1300 308 307 Lifeline on 131 114 Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636  This episode will answer questions like: How do I deal with grief when a loved one dies? Who can I talk to when my child dies? What should I say to someone who's child has died? How can I help someone who's grieving? Where can I find support after I lose my child? Does grief have an end point? What to listen to next: How to deal with an empty nest — ABC listen Jess Mauboy steps into her boss lady era — ABC listen What to read next: These grieving mothers want you to say their babies' names - ABC News Why these women have never had a partner This episode contains references to grief, child loss, infant death, bereavement and Red Nose Australia, organ donation, DonateLife.
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  The cost of birth trauma 16.07.2026 34min

  One in three Australian women describe their births as traumatic. Long labours, health scares, emergency interventions, feeling ignored, and lasting physical and psychological injuries can turn what's meant to be one of life's biggest moments into something deeply distressing. Yumi Stynes hears from women still coming to terms with their birth experiences, sometimes years later, and finds out what can be done to prevent traumatic births. (R). Featured in this episode: Dr Jessica Caudwell-Hall, Obstetrician and Gynaecologist, Nepean Hospital. Sophie Carroll, Pelvic Health Physiotherapist, Enlighten Health Collective. With special thanks to Amy Dawes at Birth Trauma Australia. If you need help:  Perinatal Wellbeing Centre: (02) 6288 1936 PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia): 1300 187 263 Beyond Blue: 1300 224 636 Lifeline: 13 11 14 Birth Trauma Australia organisation 
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  How to deal with an empty nest 14.07.2026 24min

  For most mums, the day their kids leave feels like a victory. You might even be planning what you'll do with all that free time. No more mountains of laundry, arguments over dinner or acting as a free taxi service. But for many women, an empty nest isn't just freedom, it's loss. When motherhood has shaped so much of your daily life and identity, the silence can be unsettling as you move around a house that was once loud, busy and joyful. Yumi Stynes chats with women who have navigated the grief of their changing relationships with their kids, finding a deeper connection with themselves, and a renewed sense of self. Plus clinical psychologist Dr Victoria Miller unpacks why the empty nest can feel so lonely, and the steps you can take to fill the child free void.   This episode will answer questions like: How long does empty nest grief last? Is empty nest syndrome real? What happens to a marriage after the kids move out? How often should I contact my adult child? Why am I sad my kids moved out? What to listen to next: Relationship resuscitation — coming back from the brink — ABC listen Am I stuck in a sex rut? — ABC listen Jess Mauboy steps into her boss lady era — ABC listen What to read next: Why these women have never had a partner  The joys of having babies in your 40s This episode contains references to grief, loneliness, purpose, empty nesting, leaving home, children, marriage, retirement
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  Jess Mauboy steps into her boss lady era 07.07.2026 27min

  Jessica Mauboy was just 16 when she burst onto our screens, barefoot in the red dirt of Alice Springs, belting out Whitney Houston at her Australian Idol audition. She may have finished runner-up, but it launched one of Australia's most enduring music careers including starring in The Sapphires and representing Australia at Eurovision in 2018.   Despite two decades in the spotlight, fame hasn't changed Jess, and she's never lost touch with her connection to Darwin, returning between tours to reconnect with her family and culture. Yumi Stynes sits down with Jess to talk about her Indigenous roots, the strong women who shaped her and how their influence is guiding her as she raises her daughter, Mia and steps confidently into her boss lady era. This episode will answer questions like: What year was Jessica Mauboy in Australian Idol? Where did Jessica Mauboy grow up? Who does Jessica Mauboy play in The Sapphires? How old is Jessica Mauboy's daughter? What is the name of Jessica Mauboy's record label? What to listen to next: Relationship resuscitation — coming back from the brink — ABC listen The ugly side of the beauty industry with Jess DeFino — ABC listen Embracing imperfection was the key to Astrid's success — ABC listen What to read next: Why these women have never had a partner  The joys of having babies in your 40s This episode contains references to NAIDOC, Australian Idol, Jessica Mauboy, Jamally records, Bran nue dae, The Sapphires, Darwin
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  Am I stuck in a sex rut? 30.06.2026 28min

  When we're dating someone new, the rush is electric. The pull towards sex can feel immediate, an almost magnetic urge to rip each other's clothes off. But as the years stretch on and the demands of life ramp up, sex becomes just one more activity on a chaotic checklist; competing with the demands of chores, kids and sleep. And when the urge does strike, it's intimacy vs. doom scrolling in bed, and somehow, the phone wins every time. Yumi Stynes meets women who are trying to wriggle free from a sex rut and carve out time for more and better sex. Plus, sex therapist Georgia Grace shares advice on how to bring sexual intimacy back into the bedroom. This episode will answer questions like: Why do people have less sex in a long-term relationship? Why is my partner distant? Can romantic relationships survive without sex? How can I reignite my sex life? Should I see a sex therapist? What is phubbing? What to listen to next: Relationship resuscitation — coming back from the brink — ABC listen Is your attachment style messing with your love life? One true love or many: Monogamy vs. open relationships  What to read next: Why these women have never had a partner  The joys of having babies in your 40s This episode contains references to sex, relationships, intimacy, pleasure, technoference, avoidance
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  The ugly side of the beauty industry with Jess DeFino 23.06.2026 26min

  Botox, vampire facials, bone smashing and now cadaver fat fillers: the beauty industry is expert in selling extreme (and painful) treatments in our endless pursuit of perfection and eternal youth. For years, Jess DeFino worked at the heart of this machine as an assistant editor for the Kardashian family. She saw firsthand how the goalposts of beauty are constantly shifting, making it out of reach, no matter how much time, money and energy we pour in. Now Jess is calling bullsh*t on the beauty industrial complex and the ever more bonkers methods being employed. This episode will answer questions like:   What is looksmaxxing? How do beauty standards change over time? Do children need skincare? Is the beauty industry growing? What’s it like to work with the Kardashian-Jenner’s Why is skin care so expensive? Is the beauty industry designed to make you buy more? Can you trust skincare reviews? Is the beauty industry built on insecurity?  What to listen to next: Botox and fillers – facing up to the new normal  How pop culture messed us up, with Sophie Gilbert Is your attachment style messing with your love life?  One true love or many: Monogamy vs. open relationships  What to read next:    Why these women have never had a partner   The joys of having babies in your 40s  This episode contains references to beauty, looksmaxxing, beauty industry, Kardashian, Jenner, Clavicular.  
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  The women who've never had sex 16.06.2026 29min

  We live in a sexed-up world. From chiselled fictional teenagers in steamy high school dramas to Sabrina Carpenter’s innuendos, it feels like everyone’s doing it. But what happens when adulthood arrives and you're still a virgin?  Plenty of women haven’t had sex. Some are waiting for the right person, some are waiting for marriage, and some haven't had the opportunity.   Virginity has gone from being something women were expected to protect to something they feel they have to explain. So how do we ditch everyone else's expectations and figure out what we actually want? Yumi Stynes speaks with women navigating adulthood without sex.  Featured in this episode:  Amanda McCracken, writer on love and limerence  This episode will answer questions like:  How does it feel to be an adult virgin?  What’s dating like as a virgin?  Why do some people wait to have sex?  What to listen to next:  Building a village means showing up even when it feels hard, says Esther Perel  How swapping a husband for a wife made this economist better off  The power of one: the single ladies owning it   Why are we exercising less than men?  What to read next:  Why these women took marriage sabbaticals — and how it went  Building a village means showing up even when it feels hard, says Esther Perel  This episode contains references to sex, sexuality, dating, relationships, virgins, religion, shame, psychology.  This episode was originally broadcast in April 2024. (R). 
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  I’m in love with a narcissist 09.06.2026 27min

  Love bombing. Gaslighting. Coercive control. Narcissists can crash into your life on the charm offensive. They begin with intense affection, compliments and grand gestures. But behind that charm can be manipulation and intense criticism. In the worst cases, they control every aspect of their partner's life.  It’s disorienting to be with a narcissist, and often people with narcissistic traits have very little insight into their behaviour. Yumi Stynes chats to women who’ve been in love with narcissists to understand what got them under their spell and why they're so difficult to leave. Plus, clinical Tamara Cavenett explores what you can do to protect your emotional state within a narcissistic relationship, and how to get out safely.  If you need help:  1800 Respect national helpline 1800 737 732 Women's Crisis Line 1800 811 811 Lifeline 131 114 Relationships Australia 1300 364 277 This episode will answer questions like:   Am I in a relationship with a narcissist?  How do narcissists behave in romantic relationships?  How can you find out if your partner is a narcissist?  What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?  How can you prepare to leave a coercive relationship?  What to listen to next:  Are you mum or grandma? Having a baby at 47  I love you but I hate your politics  Is your attachment style messing with your love life?  One true love or many: Monogamy vs. open relationships   What to read next: Why these women have never had a partner   The joys of having babies in your 40s  Why these women took marriage sabbaticals — and how it went  This episode contains references to dating, marriage, sex, narcissist, control, coercive relationships, empathy, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, mental illness. This episode was originally broadcast in October, 2023. (R).
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  The health gap no one talks about 03.06.2026 29min

  For all her life, Chloe Hayden, star of Heartbreak High, has struggled to get doctors to take her health complaints seriously. And she’s not alone.   Autistic women have poorer physical and mental health than neurotypical people. From shorter life expectancy to higher rates of suicide, anxiety, eating disorders, and substance abuse. In this episode Grace speaks to autistic women about being misunderstood and misdiagnosed and the toll this has taken on her health. She also investigates the root causes behind these co-occurring conditions and how medical and social systems can better support autistic women and girls to be healthier and live their best lives.   Listen to more from the Autistic AF with Grace Tame series: Either I'm autistic, or I'm a cat Girls don't get autism The relationship spectrum Watch the first episode on ABC Australia YouTube.
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  The relationship spectrum 03.06.2026 31min

  "It can be difficult…when your approach to socialising and relationships doesn't look like what other people might expect." There's a long-held stereotype that autistic people are not empathetic and aren't interested in relationships. The reality is that, like everyone, autistic women and girls want connection, they may just come to it in different ways. In this episode, Grace looks at how autism and relationships intersect, from friendships and partnerships to parenthood. She also explores what autistic women bring to relationships and what becomes possible when they stop pretending to be "normal"? Listen to more from the Autistic AF with Grace Tame series: Either I'm autistic, or I'm a cat Girls don't get autism The health gap no one talks about Watch the first episode on ABC Australia YouTube.
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  Girls don't get autism 03.06.2026 32min

  For decades autism was thought of as a "boy thing" and girls were overlooked by science. According to research, three boys are diagnosed with autism for every girl. While experts point to genetic differences, there are other reasons why girls often go undiagnosed, including their ability to mask their autistic traits, leading to what's referred to as the "female autism invisibility cloak". In this episode, Grace meets women and gender diverse people who have been diagnosed with autism later in life or are still waiting. She also speaks to neuroscientist Dr Gina Rippon about what the latest research has to say. Featuring The Assembly's Bethany Woodman. Listen to more from the Autistic AF with Grace Tame series: Either I'm autistic, or I'm a cat The relationship spectrum The health gap no one talks about Watch the first episode on ABC Australia YouTube.
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  Either I'm autistic, or I'm a cat 02.06.2026 30min

  "It's only been in recent years that I've had a public platform and people have asked me specifically about being autistic." In the first episode of this special four-part series, Grace Tame speaks candidly with Yumi Stynes about her experiences as an autistic woman, from feeling on the outer and being labelled "weird" to experiencing the world in "high definition". In this exclusive interview, Grace opens up about the ways that she fought her own brain, using alcohol and masking to try and fit in. She also reveals how exploring relationships with women has been a "profound shift". After sharing her own story, Grace takes over hosting duties for the rest of the series, speaking with experts and other autistic women to find out why so many women are misunderstood and diagnosed late. Watch on ABC Australia YouTube