Football Cliches

Stutter steps in Budapest, Switzerland on Saturdays & Keysey's final sign-off 02.06.2026 45min

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: A cultural review of the Champions League final (feat. commentary intonations and David Schwimmer's divorce), Paul Robinson gets intensely distracted during the Conference League final, Switzerland's curious World Cup scheduling stranglehold, early reports of terrible pub bunting, pundit parenting at the soft play, and Richard Keys’s Concorde lament. Meanwhile, the panel address the latest backlash to stutter-step penalties. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The VAR-monitor jog & fans coming in peace: The listeners' loves & hates 27.05.2026 51min

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the exact gait of a referee going over to check the VAR monitor, a tiny element of Baddiel & Skinner's Three Lions you have probably never noticed, the epidemic of fans "coming in peace" to rival club forums and the exact criteria for a player to be said to be “jumping ship”. Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Spurs circling the drain, European hangover defiance & farmers taking penalties 25.05.2026 51min

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: whether West Ham sleepwalked to relegation and if Spurs are now officially "circling the drain", Villa defying their European hangover, forensics are called in on Bruno Fernandes' assists record, Glenn Murray with an unexpected demonym, farmers taking penalties against Chris Kirkland, and a Premier League farewell from Keys & Gray after 34 years. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Unleash the Arsenal long-reads, Spygate super-schadenfreude & a Bundesliga hoax 20.05.2026 46min

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: cutting through the considerable noise of Arsenal's long-awaited Premier League title and the 12-day express saga of Spygate, the Australian Andy Gray, Rory Stewart apparently hearing about VAR for the first time, the one interesting name from the BBC and ITV’s World Cup punditry lineups, eminent anthropologists with Peter Drury’s voice and a suspiciously made-up-looking Bundesliga club. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Labour's laboured footballspeak, thumpable scorelines & penalty pop-ups 18.05.2026 57min

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: an FA Cup final that will live short in the memory, a confident prediction of West Ham's short-term future, some 4/10 football chat from politicians, serviceable Premier League back-up strikers' names in ski equipment, Adam Wharton’s unexpected backflip, some classic early news of England's World Cup camp, and a roving Richard Keys in London. Meanwhile, the panel indulge in a brief history of the between-the-legs flicked finish in English football. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Download SAILY in your app store and use code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For more info, visit https://saily.com/cliches Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Football Cliches Quiz XXIV: Cliches vs The Sweeper - The Rematch 13.05.2026 1h 47min

The 24th edition of the Football Clichés Quiz sees Adam, Charlie and Dave take on globe-trotting world football storytellers The Sweeper for the second time. The questions include: Argentine footballspeak, obscure ball suppliers, made-up football podcasts, World Cup coastlines, transport-themed top-flight outfits, fake Brazilian internationals and much more. Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN You can listen to The Sweeper here: https://linktr.ee/SweeperPod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Corner-kick chaos, a Premier League without a W & Joe Cole at the Ritz 11.05.2026 51min

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the slightly overlooked aspects of the West Ham corner chaos, predicting the title of the Arsenal story-of-the-season book, an alphabetical crisis for the Premier League, five-star co-commentary from Joe Cole, how long is too long for a commentator to stay silent after a goal, and footballers’ names in both cheap office furniture and the inexplicably Urdu songs of Robert Palmer. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Download SAILY in your app store and use code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For more info, visit https://saily.com/cliches Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The 9.75 role, Tom Hiddleston's Champions League mindset & the Faroese Andy Gray 07.05.2026 46min

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a cultural review of the Champions League semi-finals (featuring Daniel Sturridge inventing the "nine and three-quarters" role and the return of CBS's Beckham & Friends), celebration policing ties itself in knots, the Andy Gray of the Faroe Islands, former Wimbledon strikers' names in mid-1960s Marvel comics and a curious Evening With Eden Hazard (feat. Rickie Lambert). Meanwhile, the panel ponder the name and vibe of a hypothetical new fourth UEFA club competition. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The fixture pile-up threshold, Sean Dyche playing "Sean Dyche" & under-10s trophy parades 05.05.2026 49min

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: the trickiest title-race-classification task so far, legendary Premier League goalkeepers in petty criminals’ middle names, Sean Dyche's Instagram unveiling, Tim Sherwood on modern football and some awkward football phone-in moments with Chris Sutton. Meanwhile, the panel anticipate Tom Hiddlestone's Champions League punditry and debate how many games constitute a "fixture pile-up". Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Team-talk mythology & the stickers of European toilet cubicles: The listeners' loves & hates 30.04.2026 49min

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the mythical status of the half-time team talk, a listener's transcontinental toilet-cubicle sleuthing, nearby fans who state the obvious for 90 minutes and the minor things that instantly shatter the elite-level feel of a professional football match. Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Great adverts for the pyramid, technicians of the sphere & Qatar to Coventry in 3 minutes 27.04.2026 42min

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the threshold for the Premier League to tweet the words "and breathe...", the sound of York City's last-gasp, fifth-tier glory, Paul Scholes at the snooker, Steve Sidwell coins a curious new phrase, RIP Football Focus, some mangled animal-themed football idioms and Richard Keys' 6000-mile Instagrammed odyssey from Qatar to Coventry. Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Download SAILY in your app store and use code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For more info, visit https://saily.com/cliches Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Elite barbers' FPL advantage, the Collins-Tomkins dilemma & doing The Terrestrial 22.04.2026 47min

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the greatest player ever to have a surname that starts with the same letter their first name ends with, Morgan Gibbs-White's other hat-trick against Burnley, a chucklesome commentator's curse, Matt Upson tackles some mundane social-video questions, Canadian rock bands in early 90s Premier League commentary, the only English club to have won a competitive game on all five terrestrial TV channels and Matt Le Tissier's battle with the AI chatbots. Meanwhile, the panel tackle the Happy Hunting Grounds Ladder once more. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Lee Dixon on toast, “advantage City” & a commentator's Copacabana complex 20.04.2026 46min

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Sunday Supplement pastry queries, a cultural review of Manchester 2 Arsenal 1, Darren Fletcher's ongoing hang-up about Brazilians’ birthplaces, Lee Dixon explaining the concept of "on toast" for US fans and Steve McManaman’s descriptive demonyms. Meanwhile, the panel welcome Coventry City back to the Premier League, with the help of Gary Weaver's commentary and Richard Keys' social media acumen. Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Download SAILY in your app store and use code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For more info, visit https://saily.com/cliches Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Unexpected Stevenage, premature hauntings & the Premier League goal caught on CCTV 15.04.2026 49min

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the imminent demise of the iconic Champions League match ball, Carlos Queiroz's highly logical new job, highly obscure football in the background of US crime dramas, worrying gaps appearing in the Premier League Archive, referees in the media, Jorge Mendes-backed dentists and the happy self-employment of Richard Keys. Meanwhile, the panel tackle the formidable quiz challenge of the Happy Hunting Grounds Ladder. Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Half-and-half Shakespearean scarves, scouting for Shevchenko & the half-dozen crisis 13.04.2026 41min

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: a stand-out candidate for commentator's curse of the season, a worrying statistic for Pep Guardiola, the prospect of the first-ever top-flight season without a six-goal win, a confusing abbrevation of Wolverhampton Wanderers, half-and-half scarves at the theatre, Omar Marmoush’s convoluted claim to footballing supremacy, and Richard Keys takes on the continentals. Meanwhile, the panel discover the formation of choice for non-football fans and ponder the psychology behind it. Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Football Cliches Quiz XXIII: Cliches vs Career We Go 09.04.2026 1h 22min

The 23rd edition of the Football Clichés Quiz sees Adam, Charlie and Nick take on their familiar foes of Bobby, Theo and Eamo from four-time quiz visitors the Career We Go podcast. The questions include: experimental pitch markings, Champions League final losers, solo Prem Portugeezers, Joe-Max Moore’s niche claim to fame, Premier League Dennises, the sound of cult football incidents, incrementally-revealed career paths and, of course, Happy Hunting Grounds. Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

FA Cup lustre status, Ally McCoist's cliche mashup... and every Premier League game ever 07.04.2026 45min

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: reviewing a perfectly-formed set of FA Cup quarter-finals, Ally McCoist combines three subtly different cliches into one, the technicalities of a "see-saw thriller", a potentially terrible football-chant-based TV game show, England strikers' names in 1980s cartoons, the future prospect of Diego Simeone in the Premier League and the universal potential of the phrase "lost a yard". Meanwhile, the panel get stuck into the newly-launched Premier League Archive, which contains highlights of every single top-flight game since 1992. Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Extinction XI 01.04.2026 1h 13min

Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Michael Cox to select a lineup of player types that have - temporarily or permanently - gone out of footballing fashion. The selection process takes in truly unhinged goalkeepers, the 20-year heyday of the sweeper, no-nonsense penalty-taking full-backs, the demise of the Premier League own-goal machine, dedicated man-markers, the surprising nuances of the "free role", portly strikers, beanpole strike partners and the long-lost art of poaching. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive episodes and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Biggleswade bragging rights, Tanzania 0 Liechtenstein 1 & Keysey's perfect Christmas 30.03.2026 57min

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Dave's Sunday League management rollercoaster, Ben White's surreal Wembley evening, David Moyes's pointless Brazilian alter ego, Henry Winter on The Killers, the fascinating FIFA Series tournament, the crucial differences between "head to head" and "toe to toe", the football shirts of Butlins, the battle for bragging rights in Biggleswade and some above-average fictional football commentary. Meanwhile, the panel fulfil their solemn duty of reflecting on a frankly sensational newspaper interview with Richard Keys. Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Football vs The Dictionary: Susie Dent on bus-parking & bouncebackability 26.03.2026 1h 8min

The pod welcomes Susie Dent, the queen of Countdown's dictionary corner, to examine the language of football in the sort of detail we've always dreamed of. Susie takes us through the ironic death of the word bouncebackability, why aplomb is not quite as glamorous as it might sound, talismans, gilt-edged changes, what it feels like to be a stalwart, lambasts vs tirades, princocks and pavonisers, and what it really means to be "at sixes and sevens". Meanwhile, there's talk of tinpot dictionaries that just can’t compete with the Big Three, Arsene Wenger speaking a language none of us will understand, and could the "iron bucket" become the new "parking the bus"? Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices