The Jonathan Swift Library
Jonathan Swift
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Welcome, curious listener, to The Jonathan Swift Library, a most serious repository of voyages, follies, and uncomfortable truths. Within this auditory cabinet you shall find entire books read aloud, as if rescued from the dust of some neglected Enlightenment shelf. Expect giants and tiny emperors, philosophers both wise and ridiculous, and the occasional reminder that mankind, for all its claims to reason, remains delightfully absurd. Pray sit upright, adjust your headphones with dignity, and prepare to be entertained, corrected, and perhaps gently mocked.
Episodet
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The Battle of the Books - Introduction, the bookseller to the reader, & the preface of the author 18.02.2026 14minIn which the life and education of Jonathan Swift are laid forth with gentle detail, tracing his early struggles, friendships, and formative influences that shaped the author’s wit and resolve. Also revealed is the spirited literary quarrel between the ancients and moderns, wherein Swift’s playful yet pointed contribution sets the scene for a lively contest of intellect and taste.
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The Battle of the Books - A full and true account... Part 1 20.02.2026 31minIn which the ever-contentious strife between the venerable Ancients and the ambitious Moderns is described as a learned war of portentous quarrels over intellectual supremacy, conducted with pens as their weapons and writ in books of controversy chained in libraries. Amidst this fierce contention, a curious and spirited debate unfolds between a prideful spider and a diligent bee, exemplifying the greater themes of invention, nature, and the merits of labour versus mere boastfulness.
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The Battle of the Books - A full and true account... Part 2 22.02.2026 22minIn which the bees and spiders represent the Ancients and Moderns, respectively, each deploying their crafts and arts in a learned dispute that culminates in preparations for a grand and momentous battle between these rival factions of books. This clash, witnessed by gods and influenced by allegorical deities such as Criticism and Dulness, unfolds with heroic leaders and martial encounters that echo the grandeur and folly inherent in the contest of letters.
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The Battle of the Books - The Episode of Bentley and Wotton 24.02.2026 15minIn which the valiant but ill-favoured Bentley and his dear companion Wotton, driven by discontent and ambition, set forth stealthily amid the chaos of battle in hopes of seizing advantage from the slumbering foe. Their ventures lead them to encounters both fortuitous and fatal, where fate and divine intervention interlace, culminating in a tragic yet heroic close to their endeavours.
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The Battle of the Books - A Meditation Upon a Broomstick 26.02.2026 3minIn which a humble broomstick is observed in its decline from a flourishing tree to a worn tool of drudgery, serving as a poignant metaphor for the human condition and its inevitable fall from natural grace to affected artifice. Through this comparison, a gentle satire unfolds, revealing man's vanity and folly as he attempts to mask his decay and assumes the role of a reformer while sharing in the very corruptions he condemns.
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The Battle of the Books - Predictions for the Year 1708 28.02.2026 22minIn which a diligent observer, perturbed by the vulgar falsehoods of common astrologers, sets forth a series of precise and sober predictions for the coming year, aspiring to reclaim the ancient art of astrology from illiterate impostors and reckless almanack-makers. With a measured tone and careful calculation, he chronicles expected events both at home and abroad, tendering his reputation as a gentleman to the test of time and truth against the rash claims of popular scribblers.
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The Battle of the Books - The Accomplishment of the First of Mr. Bickerstaff’s Predictions… 02.03.2026 8minIn which a detailed account is given of the curious and melancholy death of Mr. Partridge, the almanack-maker, whose demise was foretold by the predictions of a certain Mr. Bickerstaff, provoking reflections on the power of imagination and superstition. The narrative conveys an air of sober inquiry mingled with a gentle scepticism towards astrology and the impressions it leaves on the credulous minds of ordinary folk.
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The Battle of the Books - Baucis and Philemon 04.03.2026 9minIn which two saintly brothers disguised as beggars seek lodging in a cold and unwelcoming village, finding kindness only from the humble couple Baucis and Philemon, whose simple cottage miraculously transforms into a splendid church. The saints reward the couple’s hospitality by elevating their station and dwelling, resulting in a quaint yet miraculous tale of transformation and enduring devotion.
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The Battle of the Books - The logicians refuted 06.03.2026 3minIn which the esteemed Logicians, with much learned discourse, dispute the nature of reason and its possession by mankind, whilst the author humbly suggests that instinct may surpass the vaunted faculty of human rationality. Observing the follies of men and their courtly mimicries, he portrays the animal kingdom as free from such base affectations, save for the ape whose malice and mimicry are but a pale shadow of our own social prevarications.
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The Battle of the Books - The puppet show 08.03.2026 4minIn which the art of the puppet-show is employed as a cunning metaphor to reflect the follies and foibles of mankind, portraying life as a pageant of wooden figures manipulated by invisible strings. Through a satirical lens, the poem reveals how men, from princes to peasants, are but actors in a farcical display, their pretensions and passions no more than the movements of lifeless puppets.
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The Battle of the Books - Candenus and Vanessa 10.03.2026 41minIn which the mighty goddess Venus strives to restore the waning power of love by crafting a paragon of virtue and wit named Vanessa, only to find her design confounded by the mingled influences of wisdom and human folly. Amidst courtly pleasantries, learned debates, and the subtle darts of Cupid, Vanessa’s uncommon mind both challenges and puzzles those around her, revealing the enduring complexities of affection and reason.
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The Battle of the Books - Stella’s Birthday, 1718 12.03.2026 1minIn which a genteel and affectionate verse marks the celebration of Stella’s thirty-fourth year, tenderly reflecting on the constancy of her beauty and wit since youth. The poet wistfully muses on the enchanting qualities of his beloved, wishing to divide his admiration so as to honour two gracious nymphs alike.
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The Battle of the Books - Stella’s Birthday, 1720. 14.03.2026 3minIn which a charming ode is offered to Stella’s enduring allure, lauding her wit, sense, and hospitality that outshine mere youthful beauty or superficial appearance. The poem gently mocks rival establishments and idle gossip, suggesting that true charm and substance will always draw the discerning visitor.
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The Battle of the Books - Stella’s Birthday 16.03.2026 4minIn which a devoted poet struggles mightily to compose an annual ode in honour of Stella’s birthday, wrestling with his diminished inspiration and the fear of public reproach. He seeks Apollo’s divine counsel, who prescribes a ritual involving a long-hidden bottle of wine and the assistance of faithful friends to rekindle the muse’s favour and prompt the verses Stella deserves.
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The Battle of the Books - Stella’s Birthday, 1724 18.03.2026 2minIn which the speaker, reflecting with gentle melancholy on the passage of time, contemplates the fading of youthful beauty and poetic inspiration as he celebrates a beloved lady’s birthday with heartfelt prose rather than rhyme. Despite acknowledging nature’s inevitable changes, he affirms the enduring virtues of honour, wit, and friendship, which remain untouched by age or outward appearance.
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The Battle of the Books - Stella’s Birthday, March 13, 1726 20.03.2026 4minIn which a reflective and tender birthday meditation gently unfolds, extolling the enduring comfort found in a life well lived and the virtue that nourishes the mind beyond bodily decline. The verses contemplate the stoic courage of a beloved friend, inviting solace in past deeds of kindness and the hope of a tranquil future state.
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The Battle of the Books - To Stella 22.03.2026 6minIn which a devoted friend extols the virtues of Stella, a lady whose wit, honour, and courage transcend the common prejudices of her sex, illustrating true nobility of mind with a gentle yet firm voice. We are also tenderly given a glimpse into the intimate care and profound affection shared during a time of illness, underscoring the sincerity of friendship beyond mere words.
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The Battle of the Books - The first he wrote OCT. 17, 1727 24.03.2026 3minIn which a deeply devout prayer is offered for the restoration and comfort of a cherished individual enduring a long and fragile illness, beseeching divine mercy, patience, and strength for both the sufferer and those who hold her dear. The plea reflects a gentle resignation to the mysteries of Providence, extolling virtues and seeking solace in the hope of eternal peace beyond worldly affliction.
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The Battle of the Books - The second prayer was written NOV. 6, 1727. 26.03.2026 4minIn which a humble and devout supplication is offered, beseeching divine mercy and strength for a suffering soul enduring prolonged affliction. The prayer gently beseeches patience, forgiveness, and the grace to find solace in faith amid the trials of mortality, whilst also seeking comfort for those who mourn.
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The Battle of the Books - The Beasts' confession (1732) 28.03.2026 11minIn which various beasts, taking on human-like faculties of speech and conscience, offer earnest confessions before their sovereign, each revealing peculiar virtues and follies in a manner that mirrors the complexities of human character. Through this allegorical assembly, a gentle critique unfolds of the vanity, pretence, and self-justifications commonly found within mankind’s own social and moral discourse.
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