Sex For Couples with Heather Shannon

Епизоде

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  Stop Trying To Get Your Old Sex Life Back 14.09.2026 55мин

  In this episode of Sex For Couples, Heather Shannon talks with relationship coach Ally Iseman about non-monogamy, consensual open relationships, and how to build a sex life and relationship that's designed on purpose instead of running on autopilot. They get into why exclusivity and commitment aren't the same thing, why jealousy shows up in monogamous relationships too, and how monogamous couples can borrow the same tools non-monogamous couples use to keep things exciting.Ally is the founder of Passport to Pleasure, offering relationship coaching and curated travel experiences for couples who want to have the conversations they don't get to have anywhere else. She and Heather talk about relationship scripts, the difference between fantasy and desire, why living together or splitting things a certain way isn't required for commitment, and why curiosity — not effort — is the real antidote to a stuck sex life.In this episode:Why exclusivity and commitment are not the same thingJealousy is an emotional experience, not a character trait — and it shows up in monogamous relationships tooThe difference between a fantasy and a desire, and why you can share one without acting on itHow "relationship scripts" (living together, marriage, monogamy by default) keep couples from designing what actually works for themWhy avoiding a hard conversation with your partner is still a choice, not neutralHow non-monogamous couples build novelty and variety — and how monogamous couples can borrow the same toolsWhy your sex life is supposed to change over time, and what that means for your relationshipConnect with Ally Iseman: Website: https://www.passport2pleasure.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allyisemanConnect with Heather: Stuck In A Sex Rut? Take the free quiz: TheBetterBedroom.com Work with Heather As Your Coach: https://HeatherShannon.coThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp
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  How To Stop Being Sexually Inhibited 07.09.2026 25мин

  Stuck in a sex rut? Take the free quiz at https://TheBetterBedroom.comIf you've ever wondered if you're sexually repressed or inhibited, this is the eipsode for you! Discover the signs that you're sexually inhibited, why so many people hold back sexually and what to do to become more sexually authentic and free to be yourself! Let your freak flag (or vanilla flag) fly. Host and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Heather Shannon goes over common patterns she sees with clients as well as her own past experiences feeling repressed and uncomfortable with sexuality. In this episode, Heather shares practical ways to notice when you are holding back, how to talk about desires with a partner, and how to work with the parts of yourself that feel protective or ashamed.Key topicsSexual inhibition can show up as keeping fantasies private, staying quiet during sex, or feeling like your desires are weird or inappropriate.A “low libido” may actually be hidden desire that has been buried by self-judgment, fear of being judged, or difficulty naming wants.Private sexual interests, like porn fantasies, romance novels, or kink scenarios, can be a sign that part of your sexuality is not being shared with a partner.Cultural conditioning plays a major role, including messages from family, friends, school, church, purity culture, and gender socialization.Safety matters first. Heather notes that sexual inhibition can be tied to real concerns about unwanted attention, objectification, and sexual aggression.Substance use during sex can be a clue that inhibition is getting in the way of pleasure and ease.Timestamps00:00 - What sexual inhibition is and what this episode will cover 00:31 - Signs you may be repressed or censoring yourself 05:36 - How socialization teaches people what sex is “allowed” to be 06:06 - Church, purity culture, and shame-based sexual messaging 07:03 - Sexual safety, unwanted attention, and guardedness 09:25 - Family modeling, mixed examples, and emotional risk around sex 13:36 - How civilization can lead us to exile our primal side 15:00 - Reconciling the proper self with the sexual self 16:25 - Integrating lust and emotional connection 17:24 - Using parts work to welcome the more wild parts 19:50 - How sharing desires can create intimacy and closeness 20:49 - Substance use as a sign that inhibition may be present 21:10 - Befriending the protective inner voice 21:40 - Freeing your sexuality without needing to be stereotypically wild 23:06 - How to ask for curiosity and safety from a partnerLooking for coaching? Request a free consultation with Heather:Unlock Your Passion - Consultation CallThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp
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  Sex With ADHD: Why Your Brain Checks Out 24.08.2026 50мин

  Feeling stuck in your sex life? Take the free quiz to find your sexy spark again: https://thebetterbedroom.comSEX WITH ADHDYou're in the middle of sex and somehow your brain wanders off to grocery lists, Hamilton the musical, or the ceiling fan clicking. Then the shame kicks in. If that's you, this episode is going to change how you think about it completely.Heather sits down with Cate Osborn, ADHD content creator, sex educator, and best-selling author of The ADHD Field Guide for Adults, to break down what ADHD and neurodivergence actually have to do with sex and intimacy. Spoiler: everything.They cover why the ADHD brain treats sex like just another series of tasks (same as making a sandwich), why kink might be the most naturally ADHD-friendly toolbox there is, how executive dysfunction shows up in the bedroom, the surprising links between ADHD and erectile dysfunction, orgasm difficulty, and hormonal shifts, and, for partners of someone with ADHD, where explanation ends and excuse begins.In this episode:00:00 Intro 01:35 Why so many of Heather's clients turn out to be neurodivergent 02:53 Executive functioning and how it touches every part of your sex life 04:15 The comorbidities nobody talks about (anxiety, OCD, disordered eating) 04:42 What "AuDHD" is and why it matters 06:45 The sexual assault statistics that stopped Heather in her tracks 08:04 Inside The ADHD Field Guide for Adults 14:11 Why kink might be the perfect tool for an ADHD brain 18:20 The real reason you get distracted during sex 23:50 "I'm thinking about Hamilton the musical", checking out mid-sex 25:10 Eye contact, communication, and knowing your own needs 36:12 The partner side: what's fair to ask, and where accountability comes in 44:34 Resentment, parentified relationships, and sex drive 45:43 Orgasm difficulty and erectile dysfunction, explainedCurious about coaching with Heather? Book a free Pathway to Passion consultMore from Cate Osborn: InstagramBuy The Book This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp
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  Why More Frequent Sex Isn't the Fix You Need 10.08.2026 39мин

  Feeling stuck in your sex life or wondering how to reignite intimacy with your partner? Take the free quiz at TheBetterBedroom.com to find out what's really going on.Why More Frequent Sex Isn't the Fix You NeedMost couples who feel stuck in their sex life assume the answer is just having sex more often. Couples therapist Zach Brittle (host of Marriage Therapy Radio) joins host and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Heather Shannon to explain why chasing frequency backfires, and why sex is actually a skill you build, not something you either have or don't. They dig into what people get wrong when they try to "work harder" at sex, why outcome-focused sex (orgasm, erection, intercourse) narrows what counts as intimacy, and how one couple in Zach's practice eliminated the guesswork around initiation entirely with a simple negotiated system.Topics covered:Why "more sex" is the wrong goal for a low sex lifeReframing sex as a skill instead of a talent you either have or don'tWhat "what's it for?" and "what counts?" reveal about your sex lifeWhy rejection in the bedroom is rarely about attractionA real couple's negotiated system for ending initiation anxietyTreating sex like a hobby instead of a performanceMore from Zach Brittle:Marriage Therapy Radio — https://marriagetherapyradio.com/More from Heather:AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, host of Sex For Couples. Want personalized support for your relationship? Book a coaching consultation at https://HeatherShannon.co. This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp
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  Is Your Cell Phone Accidentally Killing Your Sex Life? 27.07.2026 21мин

  Take the Why You're Stuck In A Sex Rut Quiz now! https://TheBetterBedroom.com If you feel more like roommates, co-parents, or logistical planning partners than lovers, your phone might be a bigger part of the problem than you think. In this episode, Heather Shannon — certified sex therapist with 20 years of counseling experience — breaks down what constant phone use is actually doing to your sex drive and your relationship, and how getting present again brings your desire back with it.What You'll Learn00:02 — Why phone use might be quietly killing your sex life, and what a 2025 University of Connecticut/Columbia study found about phone use, conflict, and intimacy in relationships02:27 — The societal shift toward disconnection: distracted driving, ignored bids for attention, and the disappearing "hello" when you walk into a shop04:54 — Why being "in your head" instead of "in your body" is one of the biggest hidden causes of performance anxiety, difficulty orgasming, and disconnection from your partner07:16 — How to audit your own phone use: what you actually want vs. what your actions show, and why this matters even more for men who weren't encouraged to be in touch with their emotions09:38 — What you get back when you put the phone down: presence, laughter, working out as a body-awareness practice, and why boredom can actually be good for your sex life11:52 — The trade-off most people don't examine: what you're sacrificing for a quick dopamine hit (and a mention of the book Dopamine Nation)14:15 — Heather's own 48-hour phone experiment: turning off text, WhatsApp, social media, and email for a weekend — and what it did to her nervous system and her sex drive16:32 — Practical solutions: checking in with yourself before you scroll, using Screen Time/Downtime limits, and why limits alone aren't enough — you have to decide how you actually want to spend your timeJoin the 30-Day ChallengeHeather's considering building a 30-day cell-phone-reducing, relationship-presence-boosting challenge. If that's something you'd want in on, comment "CHALLENGE" on YouTube or Spotify, or email [email protected] directly. If there's enough interest, she'll build it.Resources & Links📋 Take the quiz: TheBetterBedroom.com📅 Book a consultation call for coaching: HeatherShannon.co📖 Mentioned in this episode: Dopamine Nation by Dr. Anna Lembke🧘 Mentioned in this episode: Eckhart Tolle's perspective on digital society and presenceThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp
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  Feel Confident Dominating Your Partner - A Former Dominatrix Shares How 13.07.2026 50мин

  Take the free quiz to find out why you're stuck in a sex rut: https://TheBetterBedroom.comWhat does it actually take to feel dominant in the bedroom, and why do so many of us freeze up when it's our turn to lead? In this episode, Heather sits down with Amanda Dames, a kink consultant and former professional dominatrix, to break down the real skills behind dominance, submission, and power dynamics in a relationship.Amanda spent two years working at a dungeon while holding down a corporate job at the Wall Street Journal, and she brings that hands-on experience into a real conversation about how dominant and submissive roles actually work, how to figure out your own authentic style, and how to vet a partner for safety before you ever get started. They cover the different types of Doms (Master, Traditional Dom, Caretaker Dom, and Pleasure Dom), the different types of submissives (service subs, slaves, baby girls and boys), the red flags that signal an unhealthy power dynamic, and why most of what we see about kink and BDSM in movies sets totally unrealistic expectations.If you're ready to go deeper than a podcast episode, visit https://HeatherShannon.co to request a free consultation and learn about Heather's signature Pathway to Passion coaching program.Timestamps: 0:00 Amanda's path from marine biology to the Wall Street Journal to a Craigslist dominatrix job 4:30 Discovering a more powerful, dominant version of herself 8:00 What a Dom's real job actually is, and how to avoid burnout 17:00 Why you need to talk to your partner before you talk divorce 19:30 How a real negotiation between a Dom and a client actually works 26:30 Why being patient with yourself matters more than getting it right the first time 30:00 The four types of Dominants, explained 36:20 The submissive types, and how to find your own style 37:50 How to vet a Dom (or any partner) for safety 45:00 Why movies like Secretary and Baby Girl are not how-to videos 51:00 Amanda's free worksheet for talking about your desires with confidenceTake the free quiz: https://TheBetterBedroom.comLearn more about Heather's Pathway to Passion coaching: https://HeatherShannon.coGet Amanda's free worksheet, Speaking Your Desires With Confidence: https://AmandaDames.comThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp
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  6 Ways To Effectively Communicate Your Sexual Needs 29.06.2026 29мин

  Want help figuring out your own needs before you bring them to your partner? Take the free Intimacy Audit: https://HeatherShannon.co (click the pop-up)In this episode . . . Great sex isn't about mind reading. If you've stayed silent about what you want, tried to bring it up and gotten shut down, or you're with someone who clams up at the mention of sex, this episode gives you six steps to actually say what you need without putting your partner on the defensive.AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Heather Shannon breaks down how to talk about your sexual needs, desires, and fantasies in a way that builds connection instead of conflict. You'll learn the difference between framing something as a "need" versus a "want," how to figure out what you actually desire when you're not sure, and how to bring up bigger topics, like having a threesome, without blowing up the conversation.Find out:Why calling something a sexual "need" instead of a "want" can create unintended pressure or resentmentHow to start identifying your own desires, even if you've never really thought about it beforeThe difference between healthy support and codependency in a relationship, and why it matters for your sex lifeA real example of how to bring up a fantasy with your partner without making it weirdWhat to say when your partner brings up something you're not intoHow to negotiate sexual differences so both people still feel like themselvesCurious about coaching with Heather? Request a free consultation at https://HeatherShannon.co.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp
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  The Truth About Female Sexual Desire After 40 15.06.2026 51мин

  Can women really have the best sex of their lives after 50... or even 60?In this episode, sex therapist, relationship coach, and tantra educator Maria Merloni shares why many women lose interest in sex, what might actually be causing it, and how one surprising practice transformed her own sex life at age 60.We discuss desire, orgasm quality, menopause, body confidence, trauma, tantra, and why feeling more connected to your body may be the missing piece for a more fulfilling sex life.In this episode, you'll learn:💜 Why women often lose interest in sex as they age💜 The connection between pleasure, desire, and orgasm quality💜 Why great sex doesn't have to decline after menopause💜 How body image affects sexual confidence💜 The role of tantra in healing and intimacy💜 The difference between masturbation and self-yoni massage💜 How presence and body awareness can improve your sex lifeConnect with Maria:Free Yoni Ritual Guide:https://mariamerloni.com/ritual/Website:https://mariamerloni.comReady to improve your relationship and sex life?Take my free quiz:https://heathershannon.co/quizWork with Heather:https://heathershannon.coThis is a reminder I'm publishing every other week June-August of 2026 and will resume weekly publishing in September! This is a great time to catch up on past episodes.#SexForCouples #WomenOver50 #Menopause #LowLibido #Tantra #SexTherapy #Relationships #Intimacy #FemaleDesire #SexAfter50This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp
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  Crossdressing Kink: Married To A Women But Want to Wear Her Clothes? 31.05.2026 29мин

  SUMMER SCHEDULE! I'll be publishing every other week during June, July & August so we can all enjoy our family time and travels. I'll resume weekly publishing September 7th, 2026. If you’re secretly wondering what your cross-dressing means about you — or terrified what would happen if your partner fully knew — this episode is for you.Many men who cross-dress struggle with shame, confusion, secrecy, and questions about identity. And hiding it for too long can create much bigger relationship problems than the dressing itself.In this episode of Sex for Couples, certified sex therapist and intimacy coach Heather Shannon breaks down the psychology of cross-dressing, why it can feel emotionally and sexually powerful, and how couples can navigate it honestly inside a committed relationship.You’ll learn the difference between cross-dressing, kink, drag, and gender identity — plus why secrecy, shame, and emotional suppression often become part of the cycle.Heather also explores feminization, sissification, submissive dynamics, internal family systems (IFS), and the emotional relief many people experience when they’re finally allowed to express hidden parts of themselves.Whether you’re exploring this personally or trying to understand your partner better, this episode offers a compassionate, nuanced perspective without shame or judgment.In This Episode:The difference between cross-dressing and being transgenderWhy cross-dressing can feel emotionally relieving or sexually excitingThe psychology behind feminization and sissification kinksHow masculinity pressures contribute to secrecy and shameWhy many people use cross-dressing as emotional escape or self-expressionThe connection between cross-dressing and submissive dynamicsHow Internal Family Systems (IFS) explains different “parts” of ourselvesWhat healthy honesty and integration can look like in long-term relationshipsHow secrecy around kinks can damage trust and intimacyQuestions to ask yourself if you’re exploring gender identityIf this episode helped you better understand yourself, your partner, or your relationship dynamic, follow Sex for Couples for honest conversations about intimacy, desire, emotional connection, and sexual psychology.Take My Free Relationship & Intimacy Quiz: https://TheBetterBedroom.comInterested in coaching with Heather? Request a consultation: https://HeatherShannon.coDisclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical, psychological, or mental health treatment.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp
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  Why So Many Couples End Up in a Dead Bedroom 25.05.2026 45мин

  If you still love each other but sex has become rare, tense, or complicated, this episode will help you understand what changed.In this episode of Sex for Couples, Certified Sex Therapist Heather Shannon talks with Author & Founder Ralph Brewer who wrote The Dead Bedroom Fix and founded of HelpForMen.com. The explore why sex can feel effortless early in a relationship — and then slowly start to feel like work.They discuss the emotional reality of dead bedrooms, sexless marriage, mismatched libido, attachment styles, long-term monogamy, parenting stress, and why many couples feel confused when love is still there but desire has faded.You’ll hear why this pattern is so common, why it can feel especially painful for men, and what couples can start paying attention to if they want to rebuild sexual connection without blame or pressure.🔑 In This Episode• Why sex often changes after marriage, commitment, and kids• How dead bedrooms happen even in loving relationships• Why men often experience low sexual connection as rejection• How anxious and avoidant attachment patterns affect intimacy• What self-improvement has to do with rebuilding desire⏱ Chapters00:00 – Introduction to Ralph Brewer and His Journey02:43 – Coping with Infidelity and the Importance of Male Friendships05:36 – The Impact of Sexual Dynamics in Long-Term Relationships08:31 – Understanding the Dead Bedroom Phenomenon11:27 – The Role of Hormones and Aging in Relationships14:14 – Community Support and Its Importance in Parenting17:13 – Adjusting Expectations in Long-Term Relationships21:42 – Navigating Relationship Changes23:50 – The Impact of Life Stressors on Relationships25:31 – Reviving the Bedroom: A Focus on Self-Improvement28:40 – The Importance of Secure Communication30:32 – Understanding Attachment Styles34:33 – The Balance of Masculinity and Femininity40:07 – Exploring Monogamy and Novelty in Relationships👤 Connect with Ralph Brewer🌐 Help For Menhttps://helpformen.com❤️ Work with Heather🌐 Coaching & Resourceshttps://HeatherShannon.co🔥 Take the Free Quiz: Why You’re Stuck In A Sex Ruthttps://TheBetterBedroom.comThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp
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  How to Feel Sexy Despite Aging and Body Changes 18.05.2026 34мин

  Sometimes your body changes — weight gain, new wrinkles, giving birth, surgery, balding, etc. And when that happens, it can deeply affect the way you experience desire, sexual confidence, intimacy, and your whole identity as a sexual being.In this episode, Heather explores the grief of bodily change, the unrealistic expectations many people have about sexuality staying the same forever, and the ways self-monitoring and body image struggles can create barriers to intimacy and pleasure.You’ll also hear practical mindset shifts and emotional tools to help you reconnect with feeling sexy, desirable, embodied, and alive in the body you have now.Topics include:• Sexual identity and changing bodies• Aging, perimenopause, and body image• Erection changes and vaginal dryness• Chronic pain, surgery, and disability• Feeling disconnected from your body sexually• Why self-monitoring kills pleasure• Cultural beauty standards and desirability• Botox, cosmetic procedures, and body optimization culture• Reclaiming confidence and sexuality• How thoughts shape sexual confidence and desireResources & Links:Heather’s Amazon Storefront:https://www.amazon.com/shop/heathershannonlcpcTake The Why You’re Stuck In A Sex Rut Quiz:https://TheBetterBedroom.comRequest an Unlock Your Passion Call with Heather:https://calendly.com/hshann1/ignitePrior Episode – Confidence From The Outside In with Kimmy Seltzer:https://pod.fo/e/16fa44If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review, share it with someone who may need it, and follow the show for more conversations about sex, intimacy, relationships, and emotional connection.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp
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  Why Sex Starts Feeling Like Another Chore 11.05.2026 45мин

  If sex has started feeling like one more thing you're supposed to do in your relationship . . . this episode is for you.Maybe you still love your partner… but sex feels heavy, pressured, awkward, or emotionally draining. You want to want it — but instead you find yourself avoiding initiation, feeling disconnected, or wondering why intimacy feels so different than it used to.In this episode, Heather talks with sex and intimacy coach Xanet Pailet about the emotional patterns that quietly turn passionate relationships into roommate dynamics — including resentment, emotional disconnection, unresolved conflict, and feeling emotionally unsafe with your partner.They also discuss:Why couples stop wanting sex over timeThe emotional roots of sexless marriagesWhy unresolved resentment kills intimacyHow emotional safety impacts desireWhy many couples feel lonely even when they “never fight”The hidden patterns underneath low desireWhy sex can start feeling like another choreHow couples rebuild emotional and sexual connectionXanet also shares her personal story of surviving a 26-year sexless marriage, healing sexual shame and vaginismus, and eventually becoming a sex and intimacy coach helping couples reconnect emotionally and physically.If you’ve been feeling emotionally disconnected, stuck in resentment, or struggling to understand why attraction has faded in your relationship, this conversation will help you understand what’s really happening underneath the surface.🎧 Listen now to understand why sex changes in long-term relationships — and what actually helps couples feel close again.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp
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  How to Fix Mismatched Libidos Without Pressure or Resentment 04.05.2026 45мин

  Struggling with mismatched libidos in your relationship? You’re not alone—and the real problem isn’t what you think.In this episode, I’m joined by relationship and intimacy coach Monica Tanner to unpack the hidden dynamics behind desire discrepancy. We dive into why couples get stuck in cycles of pressure and rejection, how small disappointments turn into long-term resentment, and what both partners may be doing (without realizing it) to keep the pattern going.If you’ve ever felt like:Your partner “should” want sex moreYou’re constantly navigating pressure or rejectionEmotional connection isn’t translating into a better sex life…this episode will help you understand why—and what to do differently.What You’ll Learn:Why desire discrepancy is really a relationship dynamic (not just a libido issue)How “building a case” against your partner destroys intimacyThe hidden ways higher desire partners create pressureWhy emotional intimacy alone doesn’t fix sexHow to expand your definition of sex and reduce pressureThe role of childhood conditioning in your sex lifeGuest Resources Mentioned:Monica Tanner’s book: Bad Marriage AdviceMonica Tanner's website: https://www.monicatanner.com/❤️ Ready to improve your sex life?Take my free quiz to discover what’s really blocking intimacy in your relationship: 👉 https://TheBetterBedroom.comOr, if you’re ready for personalized support, book a free consultation: 👉 https://HeatherShannon.coThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp
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  3 Ways Non-Monogamy Goes Wrong (And Why It Feels So Unsafe) 27.04.2026 24мин

  Thinking about opening your relationship—but already feeling tension, anxiety, or uncertainty?You’re not alone.For many couples, conversations about non-monogamy or open relationships quickly become overwhelming. One partner may feel excited and ready to explore, while the other feels hesitant, worried, or emotionally unsafe.In this episode, I break down why that happens—and how to approach non-monogamy in a way that actually supports your relationship instead of destabilizing it.Because the truth is: 👉 Non-monogamy isn’t the problem. 👉 The issue is how couples navigate it—especially when emotional safety isn’t fully established.🔑 What You’ll LearnWhy non-monogamy often feels unsafe early on (even when both people are open to it)The #1 mistake couples make: moving too fast—in conversations or actionsHow non-monogamy can quietly become one-sided (and lead to resentment)Why staying surface-level in communication creates more insecurityWhat it actually takes to build emotional safety in open relationshipsWhy even doing everything “right” won’t make the process perfect—and what to expect instead❤️ Who This Episode Is ForThis episode is especially helpful if:You’re just starting to discuss non-monogamyOne of you is excited—and the other is unsureYou’ve tried opening things up and it didn’t go wellYou want to explore ethically without damaging trustYou’re navigating differences in sexual desire, curiosity, or identity🧭 Free ResourceWant help figuring out what non-monogamy could actually look like for you?Download my Quick Start Guide to Non-Monogamy Options—a practical overview of different relationship structures and ways to explore safely:👉 https://heather-shannon.mykajabi.com/offers/ELDCt5tG💬 Work With MeIf you want support navigating this with your partner—especially if things feel tense, confusing, or emotionally loaded—I can help.I specialize in helping couples work through: navigating non-monogamy, kink differences, and mismatched libidos.👉 Book a consultation here: https://HeatherShannon.co🔗 Keywordsnon-monogamy, ethical non-monogamy, open relationships, how to open a relationship, non-monogamous relationship advice, relationship communication, emotional safety in relationships, polyamory, swinging, sexual compatibility, couples therapy, intimacy coachingThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp
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  Why Non-Monogamy Can Save Your Relationship 20.04.2026 53мин

  Non-monogamy is usually seen as something that destroys relationships.But what if, in some cases, it can actually save them?In this episode, I’m talking with a non-monogamy expert about a perspective that challenges everything most couples have been taught about love, sex, and commitment.We explore how Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) and Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM) can sometimes be a more honest and sustainable way to navigate real relationship challenges—especially when it comes to mismatched libidos, unmet needs, and resentment.This isn’t about telling you to open your relationship.It’s about helping you think more clearly about:What you actually needWhat your partner can realistically provideAnd what options exist beyond the default model of monogamyWe also get into:Why expecting one person to meet all your needs can create pressure and disconnectionHow resentment builds when sexual needs go unmetThe difference between choosing monogamy vs defaulting into itHow people navigate open relationships, polyamory, and other forms of non-monogamyThe role of honesty, communication, and emotional security in polyamorous relationshipsWhy some couples explore swinging, swingers communities, or other forms of shared sexual experiencesThe emotional realities (not just the fantasy) of ethical non-monogamyWe also talk about the different roles partners can play—and why one person often can’t be everything for you over time.Whether you’re firmly monogamous, curious about ENM, or somewhere in between, this episode will give you a new lens on relationships, desire, and what it actually means to get your needs met.🔗 Links & ResourcesTake the quiz: Discover what’s really causing your intimacy issues👉 https://TheBetterBedroom.comRequest a consultation for Heather's Pathway To Passion Coaching Program👉 https://calendly.com/hshann1/igniteLearn more about our guest Cidney Green and buy her new book All 3 Of Me👉 https://www.all3inme.com/This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp
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  3 Mistakes Couples Make When Sharing Sexual Fantasies 13.04.2026 24мин

  Thinking about sharing a sexual fantasy—but worried your partner will see you differently? This is where most couples unknowingly start creating distance instead of deeper intimacy.In this episode, we break down the 3 biggest mistakes couples make when sharing sexual fantasies—and why these patterns often lead to pressure, resentment, or emotional disconnection instead of closeness.If you’ve ever struggled with how to talk about sex, navigate kinks or fantasies, or handle differences in desire, this episode will give you a clear framework for doing it in a way that builds trust, emotional safety, and a more satisfying sex lifeWhat You’ll LearnHow shame around sexual fantasies creates distance in relationshipsWhy avoiding conversations about sex limits intimacy and connectionThe hidden risk of pushing a fantasy too quickly after sharing itHow pressure and urgency can lead to coercion (even unintentionally)Why your partner’s reaction is shaped by conditioning—not youThe truth about being “sex-positive” without abandoning your boundariesHow to handle mismatched sexual interests in a healthy wayWays to explore fantasies without being 100% sexually compatibleKey TakeawaysOpen communication about sex is essential for long-term intimacyFantasies require consent, pacing, and emotional safetyShame, pressure, and people-pleasing are the biggest intimacy killersYou can accept your partner’s desires without participating in everythingGreat sex lives aren’t about perfect compatibility—they’re about how you navigate differences togetherChapters0:00 Introduction to the topic of sharing sexual fantasies and the common issues couples face.1:05 Introduction to the three biggest mistakes couples make.2:02 Mistake #13:23 Importance of openness and being sex-positive.4:19 Benefits of discussing sex more frequently.5:16 Normalizing conversations about sex.6:34 Importance of consent and communication in sexual relationships.7:31 Variety and novelty in long-term relationships.8:28 Understanding each other fully through sharing fantasies.9:27 Mistake #212:04 Mistake #316:03 Encouragement to maintain personal boundaries.21:32 Exploring fantasies in a healthy way.22:52 Conclusion and encouragement to seek help if needed.Resources & Next StepsIf you’re noticing patterns like holding back, pushing too fast, or going along with things that don’t feel right, that’s exactly what I help couples work through.👉 Take the quiz to discover your relationship pattern and what’s really driving your sexual disconnect: https://TheBetterBedroom.com👉 Want personalized support? Apply for a free consultation for my Pathway to Passion coaching program: https://HeatherShannon.coThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp
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  Why You Get Anxious During Sex (Even When You Want It) 06.04.2026 51мин

  You want sex. You care about your relationship. But when things actually start to happen… something shifts. You get in your head. You feel anxious, disconnected, or unsure of yourself.And sometimes, you walk away wondering why it didn’t feel as good as you hoped—or even feeling shame or guilt.In this episode, I’m joined by sex therapist and Certified IFS Therapist, Patricia Rich, to unpack what’s really going on beneath that experience.Because it’s not just about libido.And it’s not something you can fix by trying harder or “being more confident.”We’re diving into how different “parts” of you can take over during sex—pulling you out of the moment, creating tension, and leaving you feeling disconnected from your own desire.Once you understand this, everything starts to make a lot more sense.💡 What You’ll LearnWhy anxiety shows up during sex (even when you genuinely want it)How “parts” of you can override your desire and create inner conflictThe difference between being present vs. going on autopilot during sexWhy you might feel regret or disconnection afterwardA simple way to start reconnecting with yourself in the momentChapters00:00 Introduction to IFS and Sex Therapy02:45 Understanding Internal Family Systems (IFS)05:34 Exploring Parts in Sexuality08:27 Vulnerability and Intimacy in Relationships11:22 Self-Led Sexuality and Awareness14:12 Curiosity and Differentiating Parts17:05 Practical Application of IFS in Sexuality23:21 Exploring Vulnerability and Playfulness25:41 Navigating Safety and Judgment in Relationships28:07 Understanding Parts and Their Needs32:13 The Complexity of Human Emotions36:28 Communication and Vulnerability in Relationships41:06 The Goldilocks Approach to Therapy44:58 Training and Resources for IFS in Sexuality👩‍⚕️ About the GuestPatricia Rich is a sex therapist and certified Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist and consultant. She specializes in helping people understand their inner world so they can experience more connection, clarity, and ease in their relationships and sex lives.🔗 Learn more about Patricia’s work:https://patriciarich.com (update if needed based on exact link you prefer)Want Help Applying This?If this episode resonated with you, there are a couple ways to go deeper:🔥 Take the Free QuizFind out what’s actually keeping you stuck:👉 https://TheBetterBedroom.com💫 Work With MeIf you’re ready for personalized support, my Pathway to Passion coaching program helps you reconnect with your desire, improve communication, and create a sex life that actually feels good again.👉 https://HeatherShannon.co🎧 Loved This Episode?Make sure you’re following the show so you don’t miss future episodes on emotional intimacy, desire, and building a better sex life in your relationship.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp
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  How To Figure Out Your Top Turn-Ons: A Simple Guide To Better Sex 30.03.2026 25мин

  Sick of not knowing what you want in bed? Download The Free Sexy Scorecard now - https://heather-shannon.mykajabi.com/offers/km5Dd3rfFigure out your sexual self so you can communicate better with your partner and experience more pleasure together. In this episode:Discover how understanding your current patterns can open doors to new experiencesLearn why stepping out of your comfort zone can lead to deeper connectionsFind out how curiosity can be your best friend in exploring desiresGet practical tips for trying new things without any pressureHear stories about how surprises can lead to delightful discoveriesCreate and share your own "treasure map" of interests with your partnerEmbrace lifelong learning and celebrate your evolving relationshipNavigate fears with kindness and authenticityTimestamps: 00:00 - Breaking free from routines and finding joy in the bedroom 02:14 - How comfort zones can be cozy yet limiting 03:37 - Recognizing patterns and opening up to new possibilities 05:02 - Keeping the conversation alive about what you truly desire 06:25 - Letting curiosity guide you past limiting beliefs 07:55 - Personal stories of growth and learning at any age 10:01 - Fun ways to categorize and explore your pleasures 11:27 - Crafting your own "pleasure menu" to savor life 12:23 - How desires change and grow over time 14:15 - Exploring safely and authentically, with a gentle touch 15:42 - Embracing surprises as clues to what lights you up 17:37 - Turning insights into shared moments of joy 19:03 - Keeping a "treasure map" of your evolving desires 21:13 - Understanding and celebrating your partner's journey too 22:38 - Remembering there's no "right" way—just your way 23:07 - Final thoughts: Celebrating sexuality as a lifelong adventureResources & Links:Request a free consult for Heather's Pathway to Passion coaching program: https://HeatherShannon.coSexual Exploraion Scorecard (Free Download)Take the Why You're Stuck In A Sex Rut quiz! https://TheBetterBedroom.comThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp
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  How to Explore Your Attraction to Other Women (While Married to a Man) 23.03.2026 42мин

  What happens when you feel attracted to another woman… but you’re in a committed relationship with a man?For a lot of women, this curiosity brings a mix of excitement, confusion, and uncertainty. You might wonder what it means, whether it’s worth exploring, or how to even begin without creating problems in your current relationship.In this episode, I’m joined by Genevieve LeJeune, founder of Skirt Club—a global community for bicurious and bisexual women—to talk about what this experience is actually like in real life.We get into the most common obstacles women face when exploring attraction to other women, why this can feel so hard to navigate, and what helps women feel safe enough to be honest with themselves and try something new.We also talk about:Why so many women discover this curiosity later in lifeThe difference between performance and genuine desireWhat makes exploration feel safe (and what doesn’t)How women navigate this while staying in a relationship with a manWhat it’s actually like to connect with another woman for the first timeThis is a grounded, real conversation about curiosity, identity, and creating space for parts of yourself that may have been pushed aside.Chapters00:00 -Overview of the community for bicurious women.01:30 - Genevieve LeJeune's journey from personal experience to creating a global movement.02:14 - The importance of removing men to foster genuine expression.04:27 - Tips and advice for women beginning their journey.13:50 -Navigating monogamy and non-monogamy in women's exploration.16:42 -How diverse age ranges influence openness to exploring sexuality.19:42 - Workshops and resources for building sexual confidence.22:17 - The impact of media portrayal on perceptions and expectations.33:30 - The role of shared vulnerability in healing and confidence.41:00 - Encouragement to explore sexuality with courage and authenticity.LinksCheck out Skirt Club: https://skirtclub.co.uk/Schedule a free consult with Heather for the Pathway to Passion coaching program: Unlock Your Passion - Consultation Call https://HeatherShannon.coTake the Why You're Stuck In A Sex Rut quiz: https://TheBetterBedroom.comThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp
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  3 Reasons You Don’t Feel Desired by Your Partner 16.03.2026 30мин

  You can have a loving partner who compliments you, supports you, and chooses you every day—and still feel completely undesired. The surprising truth is that the problem usually isn’t your partner’s attraction… it’s how desire is being interpreted and received in your relationship.Feeling sexually desired is one of the most powerful emotional experiences in a relationship. It boosts confidence, deepens connection, and brings energy into your partnership.But many people in long-term relationships quietly struggle with the opposite feeling: “My partner loves me… but I don’t feel wanted.”In this episode of Sex for Couples, certified sex therapist and intimacy coach Heather Shannon explains why feeling desired can be more complicated than it seems. Even when your partner appreciates you and cares deeply about the relationship, subtle psychological patterns can block you from actually feeling their attraction.Heather breaks down three common reasons people stop feeling sexually desired by their partner, and how shifting your perspective can dramatically change how you experience attraction, connection, and intimacy.What You’ll Learn in This EpisodeWhy feeling desired is partly an internal experience, not just something your partner createsHow an external locus of control can unintentionally make you feel rejected or unwantedThe subtle ways your partner may already be choosing you and expressing attraction that you might be missingHow old beliefs about worthiness or attractiveness can block you from receiving desireWhy couples often experience “mixed signals” around attraction even when both partners care deeplyHow body image, stress, and life transitions (like parenting or aging) can impact your ability to feel wantedPractical ways to start receiving your partner’s desire instead of dismissing itWant Help Improving Your Sex Life?If you’re struggling with mismatched libidos, emotional disconnect, or feeling unwanted in your relationship, Heather works with couples and individuals to address the deeper psychological patterns behind intimacy issues.Learn more about her Pathway to Passion coaching program and request a free consultation at: 👉 https://heathershannon.coTake the Why You're Stuck In A Sex Rut Quiz at https://TheBetterBedroom.com 🎧 Subscribe to Sex for Couples for weekly conversations about sex, intimacy, and emotional connection in long-term relationships.Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/66GEEzOy8zIeXQoyMQKmdV Apple - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sex-for-couples-with-heather-shannon/id1656078749YouTube - https://youtube.com/@askasexcoachThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp