The ADHD Channel for Women (formerly MissUnderstood)

Епизоде

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  I’ve never felt like a good woman: ADHD and femininity | Sorry, I Missed This 10.09.2026 30мин

  In this episode, a complex conversation about ADHD, femininity, gender, and why talking about the hard stuff is important. Cate sits down with Rae Jacobson, host of Understood.org’s Hyperfocus podcast, journalist, and a producer on this show. They talk about something they’ve both struggled to name: the collision between ADHD, femininity, and gender expression. They dig into what it felt like to watch other girls “get it.” The tidiness. The calm. The effortlessness. All things that executive dysfunction made feel out of reach.  They talk about the pressure to be nurturing, organized, and endlessly available — and what happens when your brain doesn’t cooperate with any of it. And they look at the research on outcomes for women and girls with ADHD.
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  ADHD and autism: Do I have AuDHD? 08.09.2026 10мин

  If you’ve been seeing AuDHD everywhere online and wondering if it might describe you, you’ve come to the right place. What does it actually mean to have both ADHD and autism? Dr. J breaks down where these two conditions overlap, where they diverge, and why so many people are recognizing themselves in this label for the first time. We cover shared traits, what AuDHD can feel like day to day, and how to know when it’s time to talk to a professional about diagnosis.
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  The brain is the last frontier of privacy. And you’re the target. | Hyperfocus 03.09.2026 23мин

  Your smartwatch tracks your steps and your pulse. Soon, devices like it could track your brainwaves, and even tell if the wearer is neurodivergent. Brain-monitoring wearables that purport to help with focus, sleep, and even ADHD are already being sold online. This is called “neurotechnology,” and it’s a fast-moving market with almost zero regulation. Stephen Damianos of the Neurorights Foundation joins us to unpack the potential promise — and dangers — of this emerging technology. We discuss the unique risks it poses for neurodivergent people, and why your brain data might be the most valuable, and least protected, information you own.
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  An Emmy winner’s trick for ADHD idea overload (Live show!) | Sorry, I Missed This 27.08.2026 27мин

  We recorded our first-ever live show in front of a studio audience! Emmy Award–winning writer, director, and producer Adam Reid, co-creator of “Tiny Chef,” joined Cate to talk about ADHD creativity: what works, what doesn’t, when to dig in, when to let things go, and why finishing things isn't always the point. Adam talked candidly about being diagnosed with ADHD at 45, after years of building an Emmy-winning creative career without knowing why his brain worked the way it did. And he and Cate shared how they make it work (or not) as neurodivergent creators. Check it out!
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  ADHD and justice sensitivity 25.08.2026 12мин

  Why do small unfairnesses hit some people so much harder? Dr. J breaks down justice sensitivity: The intense reaction to perceived wrongdoing that’s especially common in ADHD and AuDHD brains. Learn about the four types of justice sensitivity, why emotional dysregulation, hyperfocus, and impulsivity make it stronger, and how lived experience shapes it. Plus, practical in-the-moment and long-term strategies to channel your sense of fairness — without burning out or blowing up.
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  Is your ADHD brain fog actually CDS? | Hyperfocus 20.08.2026 22мин

  Many people with inattentive ADHD feel like something is missing from their diagnosis. That missing piece might be cognitive disengagement syndrome, or CDS: a cluster of symptoms including daydreaming, confusion, daytime sleepiness, and more. CDS isn’t officially its own disorder. But scientists and clinicians are beginning to recognize it as something distinct from ADHD — though it often overlaps. Pediatric psychologist Melissa Miller explains how CDS differs from ADHD, what it looks like, and why it’s linked to anxiety and depression. She also shares early research on treatment, plus the strengths that may come with it.
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  Your ADHD brain loves a good argument. Here’s why that’s a problem. 13.08.2026 20мин

  Ever notice your ADHD brain gets a little too excited during an argument? Like you’re not even mad anymore, you’re just... having a really good time being right? Yeah. There’s a reason for that, and it’s not a great one. In this mailbag episode of Sorry, I Missed This, host Cate Osborn is digging into questions from our Understood Facebook group Our amazing listeners wrote in (and had the chance to win a copy of Cate’s new book, The ADHD Field Guide for Adults). In this episode Cate tackles questions like how to share a new ADHD diagnosis with friends and family, how to wade through the swamp of ADHD motivation, why our ADHD brains LOVE to argue, and more. Check it out!
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  ADHD and living up to potential 11.08.2026 11мин

  “You’re not living up to your potential.” If those words have haunted you, you’re not alone — and the story you’ve been telling yourself about why might be wrong. Dr. J breaks down two patterns she sees in her ADHD clients: the person who checked out after years of “you’re smart, you just don’t apply yourself”; and the high achiever whose color-coded planners are hiding total exhaustion. She digs into research on ADHD and perfectionism, and why so many women spend decades masking or overachieving without ever getting a diagnosis. Then, five concrete strategies: Understanding your type of ADHD Creating distance from the inner monologue Figuring out whose goals you’re chasing Building a plan that works with your brain instead of against it Unmasking with the right people Your potential was never a ceiling you kept failing to reach. It’s a launching pad — and you get to define it.
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  Why money fights are never really about money | Sorry, I Missed This 30.07.2026 33мин

  Money is one of the biggest sources of conflict in relationships — and for people with ADHD, it comes with an extra layer of shame most people don’t talk about. Cate sits down with Dr. Christine Hargrove, a financial therapist who specializes in ADHD, to unpack why money fights escalate so fast, why who’s the “mental load carrier” matters more than who earns more, and why people with ADHD often give better financial advice to their friends than they follow themselves. Christine breaks down the concept of “money meaning” — the idea that when couples fight about spending, they’re rarely fighting about the actual dollars. They discuss financial self-efficacy, the five types of couple coping (and which ones actually work), and why body doubling might be the most underrated financial tool for ADHD brains. Cate also opens up about her own history with compulsive spending, debt, and the shame that kept her from asking for help — and what finally changed. If you’ve ever felt “bad with money” or avoided opening an app because of what you might see, this episode is for you.
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  ADHD and avoidance 28.07.2026 13мин

  Does replying to a text feel harder than it should? Or do you struggle when someone reminds you to do something you were already planning to do? In this episode, Dr. J breaks down the real science behind ADHD avoidance: how the nervous system mistakes tasks for threats, why perfectionism makes starting feel risky, and what actually happens in your brain before a shutdown. Plus, practical strategies to interrupt the avoidance loop without shame, force, or another failed to-do list.
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  What the rise of fidget toys means for neurodivergence | Hyperfocus 23.07.2026 17мин

  Fidget toys, like NeeDohs, are sold out and  banned in classrooms. Journalist Anna North joins us to unpack how fidget toys went from gag gifts to a generational obsession, and what that shift reveals about neurodivergence, attention, and play. Plus, fidget toys are not just for kids. We look at how they are destigmatizing fidgeting for neurodivergent adults. And we dig into the science behind fidgeting, the history of the fidget spinner, and whether this wave of acceptance for sensory needs will survive.
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  Parentification: The hidden pattern in ADHD relationships | Sorry, I Missed This 16.07.2026 30мин

  Ever feel like you’re the “parent” in your relationship — managing everything while your partner just... coasts? You’re not alone. And it’s not just you being controlling. Host Cate Osborn talks with ADHD coach Kristen Carder (host of I Have ADHD, author of the upcoming You’re Not in Trouble) about why ADHD relationships so easily slide into parent-child dynamics, and how to climb back out. They get into why resentment is the red flag to watch for, and Kristen’s favorite mantra for “de-centering” an overfunctioning partner (“there is no sun — we’re equals here”). Plus eldest daughter syndrome, and why chicken nuggets for dinner is sometimes the healthiest choice you’ll make all day. Honest, funny, and genuinely useful if you’ve ever wondered whether you’re parenting your partner instead of loving them.
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  ADHD and the boredom spiral 14.07.2026 16мин

  Boredom isn’t just annoying for ADHD brains. It can feel unbearable, even painful. Dr. J breaks down the real science behind why: dopamine sensitivity, warped time perception, and an overactive default mode network. Learn why boredom fuels doomscrolling, impulsive spending, avoidance spirals, and relationship friction. Then get four practical strategies to work with your brain instead of against it, from micro-rewards to environmental design to building genuine boredom tolerance.
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  ADHD and impulse control: The science behind why willpower fails | Sorry, I Missed This 02.07.2026 24мин

  Does ADHD really mean poor self-control? Or is that the myth that’s been making everything harder? Dr. Polaris Koi is a philosopher who studies ADHD and self-regulation (and is an ADHDer themselves). In this episode, Cate and Polaris get into why “just try harder” is not only unhelpful advice — it’s based on science that most researchers don’t even believe anymore. They talk about why impulsivity in ADHD adults rarely looks like the textbook version (hi, compulsive shopping and 3 a.m. tattoo urges). How shame and anxiety make executive function worse. And why learning to work with your brain’s patterns beats white-knuckling your way through every temptation. Plus why some ADHDers end up over-controlled — which comes with its own set of problems. If you’ve ever told yourself you’re just lazy, bad at relationships, or fundamentally broken because you can’t seem to get it together, this one’s for you.
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  ADHD and family vacations: Why you can’t relax 30.06.2026 12мин

  Family vacations are supposed to be fun. So why do they feel like a project you can’t stop managing? If you have ADHD, travel is basically a multi-day test of your executive functions. Between planning paralysis, sensory overload, sleep disruptions, and lack of routine, vacations can leave you feeling more stressed than refreshed. And the strain can be even worse for women, who tend to carry a disproportionate amount of the mental load for a family. In preparation for your Independence Day travels, Dr. J breaks down exactly why trips are so draining for ADHD brains. And she shares five practical strategies to help you actually relax on your next vacation. Happy July 4th!
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  ADHD and perimenopause: Why your symptoms are suddenly worse 16.06.2026 15мин

  If your ADHD symptoms have spiked out of nowhere, perimenopause might be the culprit. Estrogen plays a direct role in dopamine regulation. When it fluctuates, your focus, memory, and emotional regulation take the hit. This episode breaks down exactly what’s happening in your brain, why the strategies that used to work may be failing you now, and how to adjust your support system for this stage of life.
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  Why people with ADHD can’t sleep (and what actually helps) | Hyperfocus 11.06.2026 25мин

  If you have ADHD, you’re probably exhausted — and there’s a real neurological reason for it. Sleep expert Marlee Boyle, co-founder of Sleep Works, joins us to explain why ADHD brains are wired against a good night’s rest. Plus how perimenopause can make it worse. She walks us through CBT-I techniques, the truth about melatonin, and some surprisingly low-tech tools that can fix your circadian rhythm. If you have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, this one is for you.
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  Why neurodivergent women can’t stop reading smut and romantasy | Sorry, I Missed This 04.06.2026 18мин

  Did you know that women with ADHD consume explicit fiction at dramatically higher rates than neurotypical women — and there’s a neurological reason? Dr. Erika Miley is a licensed mental health counselor, certified sex therapist, and author of the only dissertation published on ADHD and women’s sexuality. After surveying over 2,000 participants, one thing kept surfacing: smut. Romantasy, explicit romance, audio erotica — all of it. In this episode, she explains why the ADHD brain is uniquely drawn to literary erotica, how smut raises the arousal threshold enough to sustain focus, and why neurodivergent women are using it for everything from processing emotional vulnerability to getting through household chores.
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  ADHD, AuDHD, and social skills: Why you feel like too much and not enough 02.06.2026 12мин

  Do you feel like too much in social situations — and somehow also not enough? Socializing with ADHD or AuDHD can feel like a minefield. There are the impulsive comments. The missed cues and oversharing. And then the post-hang crash. In this episode, Dr. J breaks down what’s happening in the ADHD brain that makes socializing harder. And she offers practical strategies for creating stronger connections without the overwhelm, anxiety, or burnout. Whether you mask, steamroll, or avoid entirely, this episode helps you socialize on your own terms.
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  I’m an ADHD expert. My kid still can’t get help. 28.05.2026 24мин

  Today’s episode is a crossover with Understood’s new podcast, Everyone Gets a Juice Box. Host Jessica Shaw interviewed Rae about something she rarely discusses on Hyperfocus: Being a mom to a fabulous kid with ADHD. Even with Rae’s 20 years of experience studying and writing about ADHD, getting help for her child in school has been really challenging. Here’s how she’s supporting her daughter while they wait for school services.