Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex, and Intimacy in Marriage.

Епизоде

• When Sex Becomes Emotional Currency – with Joanna | Ep. 199 02.07.2026 36мин

  Has sex become less about connection and more about keeping the peace? In this episode, Janna talks with Joanna about a pattern many couples quietly fall into, where sex becomes a way to restore harmony, avoid conflict, or make a partner happier rather than an experience rooted in mutual desire, pleasure, and connection.They unpack the emotional weight behind this dynamic and explore how it impacts both women’s sexuality and men’s relationship with intimacy. Joanna shares what she and her partner are doing differently now to move away from obligation and toward a more connected, playful, and fulfilling sex life.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
• Why “Fixing” Your Partner Can Destroy Connection - with Derek | Ep. 198 24.06.2026 1ч 5мин

  What happens when loving someone means letting go of the need to fix them?Derek shares his journey of realizing that his attempts to rescue and support his wife were unintentionally creating distance between them. After years of trying to pull her out of pain and show her how wonderful life could be, he discovered that what she needed most wasn't someone to turn on the light—it was someone willing to sit with her in the darkness.Together, Janna and Derek explore the difference between compassion and rescuing, how shame and discomfort can impact intimacy, and why seeing your partner as "broken" can prevent true connection.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
• Mutual Attunement for a Better Sex Life | Ep. 197 17.06.2026 34мин

  What if one of the keys to a more connected relationship isn't communicating better—but paying closer attention?In this episode, Janna and her husband pull back the curtain on a practice they've been intentionally developing in their marriage: attunement. Rather than waiting for your partner to tell you exactly what they need, attunement is the skill of noticing, anticipating, and staying emotionally connected to their inner world.Together, they explore why women are often socialized to be more attuned than men, how this dynamic can impact relationships, and the practical ways they're learning to think about and care for each other throughout the day. From feeling more seen and understood to creating deeper emotional and sexual connection, this conversation offers a fresh perspective on what it means to truly know and support your partner.Listen to Part 1 of this series here: https://jannadentonhowes.com/185-mutual-vulnerability-for-a-better-sex-life/Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
• Two Sisters, Two Stories, One Impossible Standard - with Lauren & Christine | Ep. 196 09.06.2026 50мин

  When Lauren was invited to share her story on the podcast, she hesitated. Talking publicly about your sex life isn't easy—especially when your experience doesn't fit the cultural script of what a "healthy" woman is supposed to want. Then she surprised us with an unexpected suggestion: what if her sister joined the conversation?What followed was a candid, funny, and moving discussion between two sisters whose experiences with sex, desire, marriage, motherhood, and womanhood couldn't look more different on the surface. Together, they unpack the impossible expectations placed on women, the messages they inherited about sexuality, and the ways both high desire and low desire can leave women feeling like they're somehow falling short. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
• Men, Marriage, and the Conversations We Were Never Taught to Have - with Brian | Ep. 195 02.06.2026 39мин

  In this surprisingly vulnerable conversation, Brian — a former fire chief turned maintenance mechanic — shares his story of growing up with almost no sex education beyond, “don’t get her pregnant,” and the quiet pressures men often carry alone. Together, we explore fear, conditioning, hard conversations, and what it looks like to begin questioning long-held patterns later in life.At 58, Brian opens up about choosing self-reflection over defensiveness and the profound shifts that became possible when he and his wife started talking more honestly about intimacy and safety. This episode is a reminder that meaningful change is possible when we’re willing to listen, learn, and do things differently.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
• Real Couples, Real Stories, Real Change: Inside Doing It Together | Ep. 194 26.05.2026 50мин

  At the end of each eight-week round of Doing It Together, Janna hosts a farewell call where couples gather together and she asks one powerful question: What surprised you most about your Doing It Together journey?In this episode, you’ll hear honest reflections from real couples about their experiences — what they learned, what they had to unlearn, and how their relationships changed along the way. Their stories are a reminder that when people are willing to do the work and face difficult truths, profound shifts can happen, intimacy can deepen, and new ways of connecting become possible.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
• What It Really Feels Like to Go Through Doing It Together- with Justin | Ep.192 19.05.2026 53мин

  On the podcast today, Justin (the male mentor for the men’s group) and I pull back the curtain to share as real and honestly as we can what it feels like to progress through the Doing It Together program.We talk about:What do the men’s calls actually feel like?What do women talk about in week one?What happens when someone’s partner isn’t taking things as seriously?What emotions come up through the processWhat surprises people once they get inside?And what realistic change can couples actually expect?Even if you aren’t considering joining us in June, this episode is a sweet one.The deadline to join Doing It Together is May 26th. Hope you get to experience this journey, it’s a good one.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
• The Hidden Reason Sex Started Feeling Unsafe - with Erica | Ep. 192 13.05.2026 48мин

  What if the problem in your sex life isn’t low libido… but the pressure, expectations, and conditioning you’ve been carrying for years? In this conversation, Erica shares how she spent years believing she was broken, trying everything from therapy to self-help advice to “fix” her lack of desire — only to discover that the real issue had far more to do with safety, pressure, and the scripts women are taught about sex and relationships.Together, Erica and Janna unpack the messages many women grow up with around sex, marriage, motherhood, and obligation, and explore what begins to shift when couples stop focusing on performance and start building experiences rooted in curiosity, comfort, and connection. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
• Why “Meeting His Needs” Is Killing Your Desire - with Dr. Lori Brotto | Ep. 191 05.05.2026 35мин

  Why do so many women feel disconnected from sex—even in loving relationships? In this episode, we unpack the two core motivations behind intimacy: avoidance and approach. When sex is driven by pressure, obligation, or fear—like avoiding conflict, guilt, or rejection—it’s no surprise that desire fades. Yet, this pattern is so normalized that many women end up believing something is wrong with them, rather than questioning the system itself.Joined by renowned researcher Dr. Lori Brotto, this conversation explores what actually makes sex feel good—and worth wanting. From understanding why low desire is so common to redefining pleasure as the goal (not performance or frequency), this episode challenges everything you’ve been taught about intimacy. If you’ve ever felt like sex is something you “should” want but don’t, this will offer clarity, validation, and a new way forward.Find all info about Dr. Lori Brotto here: https://www.loribrotto.com/Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
• Why Your Partner Isn’t Hearing You (Yet) - with Anthony | Ep. 190 28.04.2026 52мин

  Anthony shares his journey from defensiveness and disconnection to truly hearing his partner for the first time. Like many couples, they found themselves stuck in a cycle of repeating the same conversations, hoping something would finally click… but real change didn’t begin until willingness entered the picture.Anthony opens up about the moment he recognized how deeply his upbringing had shaped his expectations around intimacy—and the courage it took to face that truth. His story is a reminder that while change is simple in theory, it requires a willingness to listen, grow, and see things differently. If you’ve ever felt like your partner just isn’t getting it, this episode offers a hopeful glimpse into what’s possible when they finally do.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
• Why Intercourse Doesn’t Feel Good for Many Women - with Anne | Ep.189 22.04.2026 39мин

  Why are we still defining sex in a way that doesn’t feel good for many women?In this eye-opening episode, my guest Anne and I challenge one of the most normalized (and harmful) beliefs about intimacy: that intercourse is the main event. Through Anne’s story, you’ll hear how cultural messaging, lack of real education, and silent expectations led to pain, confusion—and feeling broken.But this conversation doesn’t stop there. Anne shares how she began to question everything, find her voice, and create a more honest, pleasurable, and connected relationship with her partner.If you’ve ever wondered why sex doesn’t feel the way it “should,” this episode might change the way you see everything.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
• 6 Stories That Show You’re Not Alone in Your Sex Life Struggles | Ep. 188 16.04.2026 32мин

  I’ve been scratching my head for years trying to figure out how to help couples talk to each other about sex and share the helpful information on the podcast.I knew that a simple, non-threatening video was necessary for both men and women to be able to send to their partners to explain the basic concepts. I also knew that I needed to make the podcast accessible for newbies with an easy “start here” place to go (with 188 episodes, it just doesn’t work to begin with episode 1, although many try…).And, lastly, I knew that both men and women needed guidance on how to start the conversation with their partners in a way that felt safe and doable. And I’m SO FREAKIN’ HAPPY to announce that I have accomplished all of this and am ready to share it with you. Today’s episode on the podcast is part of the men’s side of this "beginner's guide” but I’m sure everyone will enjoy it. I’ve edited 6 stories together- 3 from men and 3 from women, to highlight the commonalities of the sex struggle so many heterosexual couples face.It’s an episode that I hope makes you see the bigger picture of what we are all facing from culture with individual differences sprinkled in.If you want the full beginner’s guide, starting with the intro videos, here are the links:Women’s VideoMen’s Video(If you are looking for the conversation guides, sign-up for the videos and you’ll find them on the next page.)Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
• Breaking the "Duty Sex" Cycle in Marriage - with Jo | Ep. 187 08.04.2026 51мин

  Jo shares her journey from confusion and pressure around sex to rediscovering connection, safety, and genuine pleasure with her husband.She opens up about:How cultural messaging shaped her relationship with sexThe hidden impact of “obligation” and silent pressure in long-term relationshipsThe turning point that helped her and her partner finally understand each otherWhy emotional safety—not technique—is the foundation of real intimacyIf you’ve ever felt disconnected, confused, or pressured in your intimate life, this conversation will leave you feeling seen, hopeful, and inspired.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
• When You Feel You're the 'Broken One' in Your Relationship - with Liz | Ep. 186 01.04.2026 40мин

  Do you ever feel like you are the one with all the "baggage" in your relationship?This is exactly how Liz felt for years. In every category she looked- religious, cultural upbringing, and past life choices, she felt inferior to her spouse. To make up for the gap, she tried to be the “perfect” wife by providing her husband sex and keeping her body up even through four pregnancies. No surprise, it didn’t work out great.Join us as we talk through:The two major turning points in her marriage and how they helped transform her relationship. Her reckoning with the cultural and religious teachings she was raised on.What she’s experimenting with now to reclaim her joy and autonomy.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
• Mutual Vulnerability for a Better Sex Life | Ep. 185 11.03.2026 47мин

  When a couple can meet each other with non-judgmental empathy, it draws you closer to each other. Nobody is shamed, questioned or put down and it leads to a deeper intimacy.This is the power of mutual vulnerability and it’s one of the bedrocks of a healthy marriage (and sex life).But most people don’t do a very good job at it! (which makes sense- who taught us how???)In today’s podcast episode, my husband and I explored this topic, sharing what we were taught about vulnerability, offering a role-play of what to do (and not to do), and practical tips on responding to vulnerability effectively.If you thought new sex positions were the key to hot sex, think again! Mutual vulnerability leads to safety and you can’t get sexier than safety!I hope you enjoy this feel-good episode 🙂Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
• Improving Gender Equality at Home - with author Kate Mangino | Ep. 184 03.03.2026 1ч 2мин

  In my work, I highlight the terrible things that gender inequality does to a couple’s sexual relationship but it extends far beyond the bedroom impacting connection, financial health, individual happiness, physical health, and, ultimately, relationship satisfaction.Which is why as soon as I finished the book, “Equal Partners: Improving Gender Equality at Home” by Kate Mangino, I knew I needed her to come on the podcast.Thankfully, she agreed 🙂In this episode of the podcast, we talk about:The consequences of not working towards equality in the home as well as the benefitsCommon excuses for not working towards equalityHow men can grow into equal partners Lessons from 40 men who are working towards equality in their marriagesAdvice for women trying to move towards gender equalityYou can find out more about Kate and her work here: https://www.katemangino.com/Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
• We Burned Our Sex Life Down & Built Something Better - with DeeDee | Ep. 183 24.02.2026 53мин

  After decades of quiet frustration in their sex life, DeeDee and her husband made a bold decision: they would burn their “traditional” sex life to the ground and rebuild something that actually worked for them.For most of her life, DeeDee struggled with low libido. It affected her relationships, her self-esteem, and especially her marriage. She tried everything—books, advice, and years of therapy—but nothing truly changed. She felt broken, unheard, and alone.Now in her 50s, DeeDee shares what finally made the difference. She describes discovering Doing It Together as a miracle. For the first time, she felt truly seen and heard. After years of hiding her truth, she found the courage to say the hard things out loud—and received the support she needed.With that support, she and her husband reimagined intimacy on their own terms. They let go of pain, pressure, and obligation. In their place, they built something new: a sex life rooted in honesty, comfort, and connection.And for the first time, it feels right.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
• Anxiety & Sex: What Men and Women Feel | Ep. 182 11.02.2026 31мин

  This episode provides an update on what Janna and her husband are working on in their sex life. Both talk about how anxiety affects their sexual experience in different ways. Janna shares her anxieties about:trying to have an orgasm and it not progressinggetting in her head about what “should” happen nextbeing worried about his experience and if he's "getting bored”Dwayne shares his anxieties about:being a “perfect” partner and feeling inadequatetrying to communicate to connect the progression of moving from something that feels good into “What to do next?”This episode will remind you that you aren't alone in your sexual struggles and that all couples are a work in progress in the bedroom. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
• Navigating Sex Addiction as a Black Man - with Dr. Kervins Clement | Ep. 181 03.02.2026 1ч 8мин

  My podcast guest is Dr. Kervins Clement and his story is one that I hear about all the time- where a dependency on porn use and masturbation is justified as helping the relationship when, in fact, it often does the opposite. In this episode we explore:How Kervins’ own recovery shaped the way he now works with men and couples.What his research revealed about the role of culture and history in treating Black men with sex addiction.Why guilt and remorse don’t reliably stop lying and secrecy in addiction.What partners actually need after betrayal and where their focus often goes too soon.This is a thoughtful, nuanced conversation that isn’t just about sex addiction- it’s about honesty, courage and what healing truly requires.You can find Dr. Kervins Clement on:YouTube @DrKervinsClementInstagram @drkervinsclementLooking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
• RE-AIR: Details of a Sex Life Two Years Post Doing It Together - with Justin & Sandra | Ep. 180 27.01.2026 54мин

  We're re-releasing one of our most listened to episodes! If you’ve been curious about what the concepts of Doing It Together can do for your sex life and marriage in the long term, you'll want to listen to Justin and Sandra's story.Married for 19 years, they took Doing It Together two years ago and they graciously share VERY specific details about what their relationship and sex life look like now. They open up about how they’ve learned to talk, play, remain curious, and change things up through life’s ups and downs.They also share how their marriage has changed outside the bedroom and the routines they’ve incorporated to keep their connection at the forefront of their marriage. You can listen to Justin and Sandra's personal stories by listening to these previous episodes:Justin's Story in Episode 82Sandra's Story in Episode 74The Michelle Mays episode on Betrayal Trauma can be found here: Episode 108Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.