Get Your Marriage On! with Dan Purcell

Епизоде

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  326: Stop Having "Baseball Sex" (Do This Instead), with Dr. Lisa Elieson 18.09.2026 46мин

  Does sex in your marriage ever feel like a race toward intercourse or orgasm? Dr. Lisa Elieson calls this "baseball sex"—rushing around the bases instead of enjoying where you are. In this episode, she joins Dan to explore sexuality as a creative art: something two people build together, moment by moment, without knowing exactly where it has to lead. You'll learn how slowing down, letting go of a predetermined outcome, and making room for each partner's unique desires can reduce pressure and create more pleasure, connection, and play. They also discuss the anxiety both higher- and lower-desire spouses may carry, why emotional safety matters, and what it means to become emotionally as well as physically naked with your spouse. Want more practical help creating intimacy that works for both of you? The 2026 Intimacy Vault includes our brand new interactive Intimacy Menu, along with Dr. Lisa Elieson's Common Gender Differences in Desire and more than a dozen other resources for deeper emotional and sexual connection. It's only available through September 30, so explore the Vault while you can. Other Resources: Learn more about Lisa on her website Check out our couples retreat coming up this spring! Check out our intimacy and relationship apps! Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.  
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  325: The More You Pursue, the More They Pull Away: Breaking the Intimacy Cycle with Dr. Laurie Watson 11.09.2026 45мин

  The more you pursue your spouse for emotional or sexual connection, the more they seem to pull away—and the harder you try, the worse it gets. Certified sex therapist Dr. Laurie Watson explains why couples get trapped in this pursue-withdraw cycle and how vulnerable, blame-free conversations can begin to change it. We also discuss why trading emotional connection for sex backfires, what women's bodies actually need for pleasure, and why securely attached couples often have the most—and most varied—sex. Resources: Laurie's New Book: Brave Love, Great Sex Couples Retreat Next Level Couples Coaching Our apps   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.
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  324: Why You're Always the One Initiating Sex (And What It's Actually Telling You) 04.09.2026 43мин

  Why does one spouse keep reaching for more sexually while the other feels responsible for keeping things safe? Dr. Roy Myers, author of Playful Practice, shares what his research with long-term couples revealed about this common dynamic. We explore the relationship between faith and sensuality, why many couples don't actually have a communication problem, and what Roy means when he tells couples to "build a sex room." Resources Learn more about Dr. Roy Myers and his work at ChristianSexuality.net Learn about Roy's book, Playful Practice: Exploring God's Love and Christian Sexuality, on his website Join the free Sextember challenge in the Intimately Us app Learn more about our Couples Retreat Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.
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  323: How to get out of "Roommate Mode" in marriage 28.08.2026 23мин

  If your marriage feels more like a roommate arrangement than a romantic relationship, the problem may not be that you've grown too far apart. It may be that you've become too merged, too careful, and too afraid to disagree. In this episode, Dan explains how avoiding differences to keep the peace slowly drains honesty, intimacy, and desire from a marriage. You'll learn how to recognize the pattern keeping you stuck and use three practical steps—spot it, steady yourself, and switch your step—to begin rebuilding a relationship with room for both of you. Resources mentioned in this episode Download the free Roommate Mode Guide: https://getyourmarriageon.com/roommate-mode-guide/ Learn more about our Couples Retreat: https://getyourmarriageon.com/couples-retreat/ Men's Small-Group Coaching: https://getyourmarriageon.com/mens-coaching/ Women's Small-Group Coaching: https://getyourmarriageon.com/womens-small-group-coaching/ Explore more marriage and intimacy resources: https://getyourmarriageon.com/  
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  322: BONUS — Marriage Undressed: Desire Differences, Oral Sex, and Rebuilding After Porn 24.08.2026 54мин

  Welcome to Marriage Undressed—a live Q&A where Dan Purcell and marriage coach Tammy Camp answer real, anonymous questions about sex, intimacy, and marriage. In this bonus episode, they discuss what to do when one spouse wants more adventure in the bedroom, how to express a desire without creating pressure, and how to handle differences in physical affection without constantly feeling rejected. They also answer candid questions about oral sex, including whether it's necessary for a fulfilling sex life and what to do when one spouse wants it but the other feels uncomfortable. Finally, they discuss rebuilding play and healthy desire when pornography has affected a marriage. Throughout the conversation, Dan and Tammy return to one central principle: great intimacy isn't created by pressuring your spouse to become more like you. It grows when both spouses have the freedom to be honest, make real choices, and create a sexual relationship that belongs to both of them. Want to submit your own anonymous question?  Join us for the next live Marriage Undressed event September 23! Register for the retreat and the men's and women's only groups (starting September 8!): https://getyourmarriageon.com/events/
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  321: Why Your Libido Disappeared After the Honeymoon Phase (And How to Get It Back) w/ Hannah Johnson 21.08.2026 48мин

  Why does libido feel effortless during the honeymoon phase—and then seem to disappear? After experiencing this pattern in her own relationships, Hannah Johnson, known as The Libido Fairy, set out to understand what allows desire to grow in a long-term relationship. In this episode, she shares practical ways couples can make intimacy more pleasurable, collaborative, and genuinely connecting. You'll learn how to use a 1–10 scale to take the pressure out of initiation, create an intimacy menu, plan sx without making it feel obligatory, and build simple rituals that keep you connected. Hannah also explains some of the most common libido killers—including resentment, exhaustion, nervous-system overload, and intimacy that simply isn't enjoyable—and what to do when your mind wanders during sex. If desire has faded, it doesn't necessarily mean something is wrong with you or your marriage. Desire can be understood, nurtured, and rebuilt. Resources: Couples Retreat Men's and Women's Only Coaching  Next Level Couples Coaching Our apps Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.
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  320: Is Masturbation Okay in Marriage? 14.08.2026 12мин

  Is masturbation okay in a Christian marriage? It's a common question, but one many couples are afraid to ask—and few people answer directly. In this episode, Dan offers two practical tests to help you and your spouse decide what is right for your marriage. He also explores the difference between masturbation, lust, and fantasy; potential benefits for intimacy and body awareness; and how to navigate the conversation when you and your spouse disagree. This isn't about handing every couple the same answer. It's about replacing fear and shame with wisdom, openness, and honest communication.
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  319: When You Want Sex More (or Less) Than Your Spouse—with Dr. Jennifer Litner 07.08.2026 43мин

  When one spouse wants sex more than the other, both partners can end up feeling hurt—the higher-desire spouse feels rejected, while the lower-desire spouse feels pressured or inadequate. In this episode, sex therapist Dr. Jennifer Litner explains what actually helps couples navigate desire differences. We discuss resentment and emotional repair, duty sex, hormonal and lifestyle factors, the pressure created by sexual scarcity, and why aiming for "good enough sex" can lead to more connection and desire. She also shares a counterintuitive shift for the spouse who is always initiating—and a creative "erotic Pinterest" idea for couples ready to try something new. Resources: Couples Retreat Men's and Women's Only Coaching  Next Level Our apps  
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  318: I No Longer Ask My Wife to Initiate Sex (Here's Why) 31.07.2026 17мин

  For years, I asked my wife to initiate sex more often because I wanted to feel chosen and desired. Instead, my requests created pressure, scorekeeping, and a cycle that made genuine desire even harder. In this episode, I explain why I stopped asking, what I misunderstood about responsive desire, and how shifting from initiating sex to initiating connection transformed our intimate relationship. We'll talk about desire discrepancies, obligation sex, sexual entitlement, emotional connection, and how to express what you want without treating your spouse's body—or desire—as something you're owed. Resources: Couples Retreat Waitlist Men's and Women's Only Coaching  Spark'd App Intimately Us App
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  317: The Spicy Little Habit That Reignited This Mom's Marriage 24.07.2026 31мин

  When work, kids, meals, schedules, and the never-ending mental checklist take everything you have, intimacy can start to feel like one more task. Amy Nesbit knows that tension firsthand. After nearly 20 years as a working professional—including time at Apple—she has learned how making the invisible load visible, asking for help before resentment builds, and protecting the parts of herself that bring her joy have strengthened her marriage. Amy also shares the unexpectedly spicy habit that gave her and her husband something new to talk about, why support can be one of the sexiest gifts in a marriage, and how she approaches age-appropriate, values-based conversations about sex with her children. If you're tired, touched out, and carrying too much, this conversation will help you make room for connection without adding more guilt to your plate. Learn more about Amy: Whole Wellness Mama. Resources Next Level Couples Coaching Program  Men's Only and Women's Only coaching programs Our apps: Intimately Us, Just Between Us, and Spark'd Get on the waitlist for our spring retreat! Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.
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  316: The Marriage Problem You Can't See (And the Grace That Changes Everything) 17.07.2026 21мин

  Most couples think they know what's hurting their marriage. Poor communication. Different sex drives. Parenting disagreements. Financial stress. Growing apart. That's exactly what one couple thought, too. After 18 years of marriage, they came to Dan convinced they knew what needed fixing. But as they peeled back the layers, they uncovered a deeper problem—one neither of them had recognized—and that discovery changed everything. In this episode, Dan shares the surprising reframe that brought new hope to their marriage. Along the way, you'll discover why some conflicts keep repeating, how hidden struggles can quietly shape your relationship, and why God's grace is far more powerful than many of us realize. If your marriage feels stuck or you're tired of having the same arguments over and over, this episode offers a hopeful perspective that just might change the way you see your relationship—and yourself. And if you'd like further help, you can check out the resources on our website, including our Next Level Couples Coaching Program, Men's Only and Women's Only coaching programs, and our apps: Intimately Us, Just Between Us, and Spark'd.
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  315: Rethinking Porn Addiction: A Better Path to Healing with Craig Perra 10.07.2026 40мин

  Shame thrives in secrecy—but healing doesn't. In this deeply honest conversation, Dan sits down with Craig Perra, a former attorney whose secret life of pornography, strip clubs, prostitution, and compulsive sexual behavior nearly destroyed everything he cared about. After years of trying therapy, recovery groups, and identifying himself as a "sex addict," Craig reached a breaking point. What happened next completely changed how he viewed healing. Together, Dan and Craig explore why destructive behaviors often serve as coping strategies, how shame can keep us trapped, and why true healing begins with self-leadership instead of self-hatred. They discuss: • Why all behavior is need-seeking behavior • The hidden role shame plays in compulsive sexual behavior • Why some experts are moving away from the "sex addiction" label • How Parts Work helps people understand—not fight—themselves • The difference between suppressing urges and building real integrity • Practical hope for anyone feeling stuck in cycles of secrecy Whether you're personally struggling, supporting a spouse, or simply trying to understand how lasting change happens, this episode offers a compassionate and thought-provoking perspective on healing. And if you'd like futher help creating lasting change, check out how you can work with Dan and his team to reach your goals. Resources: Free offer from Craig: Text "Dan sent me" to 877-356-5573 for a free pdf of Craig's 175 page workbook on breaking bad habits and addictions. You can also find Craig Perra at these other locations: Patterns of Power Podcast The Mindful Habit System Instagram YouTube Facebook  Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.
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  314: "A More Perfect Union": What America's 250th Can Teach Us About Marriage and Intimacy 03.07.2026 24мин

  What does the Constitutional Convention have to do with your marriage? More than you might think. As we celebrate Independence Day, Dan explores one of the greatest acts of collaboration in history—the creation of the U.S. Constitution—and uncovers surprising lessons for couples navigating differences in intimacy, communication, and connection. The delegates in Philadelphia didn't create unity by forcing everyone to agree. They built structures that honored competing needs. Your marriage can too. In this episode you'll learn: Why trying to "win" intimate disagreements keeps couples stuck How to create conversations where both spouses feel represented The difference between compromise and true collaboration Practical ideas for building your own "marriage convention" Why a more perfect union—not a perfect marriage—is the goal This Independence Day, celebrate more than freedom. Celebrate building a marriage where both of you can flourish.
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  313: How Pelvic Floor Health Impacts Pleasure, Pain, and Orgasm with Kristen Damery 26.06.2026 45мин

  What if the key to better orgasms, less pain during sex, and greater confidence in intimacy isn't in your head—it's in your pelvic floor? In this episode, Dan sits down with pelvic floor physical therapist Kristin Damery to discuss the often-overlooked foundation of sexual wellness. Kristin explains how pelvic floor health affects arousal, orgasm, pain during intercourse, blood flow, muscle function, and overall sexual satisfaction. You'll learn: • Why painful sex is common—but not normal • The difference between a weak pelvic floor and an overly tight one • Why Kegels can sometimes make problems worse • How pelvic floor health impacts orgasm intensity and reliability • What causes pain during intercourse and what you can do about it • The role of breathing, stretching, and relaxation in sexual pleasure • How vibrators can be used as a helpful therapeutic tool • Practical steps women can take to improve pelvic health and intimacy Kristin also shares her favorite advice for couples who want to deepen intimacy and keep exploring together in marriage. Whether you've experienced pain, difficulty reaching orgasm, changes after childbirth, or you're simply curious about optimizing your sexual health, this episode offers practical, hopeful guidance. Resources mentioned: • LavaLube (Use code GYMO20 for 20% off your first order): https://mylavalube.com/ • Get Your Marriage On Events & Coaching: https://getyourmarriageon.com/ Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.  
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  312: Emotional Masculinity and Getting My Wife to Like Me Again, with Matt Salis 19.06.2026 41мин

  What happens when you realize your spouse still loves you—but doesn't really like you? After 20 years of marriage, that's the realization Matt Sallas faced. In this episode, Matt shares how addiction, obligation-based sex, and emotional disconnection nearly destroyed his marriage—and the framework that helped rebuild trust, attraction, and intimacy. We discuss emotional safety, emotional masculinity, the difference between reluctant and enthusiastic consent, and Matt's simple "Sex Sequence" for creating a marriage both spouses genuinely enjoy. In this episode: • The difference between love and like in marriage • Why emotional safety matters more than most couples realize • The hidden cost of obligation-based sex • Matt's 3-step Sex Sequence framework • How emotional masculinity strengthens intimacy • The "Always Be Dating" mindset Resources: Matt's relationship survey: untoxicatedsurvey.org Matt's podcast: https://un-toxicated.com/ Get Your Marriage On events: https://getyourmarriageon.com/events Spark'd app:    Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.  
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  311: How To Stop Having Boring Sex: 7 Principles for Connection and Fun 12.06.2026 27мин

  Has your sex life become a little too predictable? In this episode, Dan shares 7 simple principles to help couples break out of routine, deepen connection, and bring more fun, playfulness, and excitement into their intimate relationship. From creating an intimacy menu to exploring new experiences together, you'll learn practical ways to stop having boring sex and start creating more meaningful connection. Resources from the episode: Awesome date night and intimacy apps Sexploration List International Lovemaking Day Bedroom Boxes Christian Couples Improving Sex & Intimacy Facebook Group Get Your Marriage On Coaching Program Intimacy Menu Products we love: Evree Massage Cream and podcast episode LavaLube COCONU EveryLove Intimates  
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  310: Stop Doing The Dishes To Get Her In The Mood: Masculine Leadership with Stu Murray 05.06.2026 25мин

  Most people think being a good spouse means being selfless, accommodating, and easygoing. But what if those same habits are quietly creating resentment, frustration, and disconnection? In this episode, we're joined by Stu Murray, a men's leadership coach, to discuss the "Nice Guy Pattern"—the tendency to suppress your own needs, avoid conflict, and hope your partner will magically figure out what you want. Together we explore: • What covert contracts are and why they create resentment • Why people-pleasing often leads to less intimacy, not more • How unspoken expectations damage emotional safety • The connection between honesty, desire, and attraction • Why many men struggle to express what they really want • Practical steps to stop self-abandoning and start showing up authentically If you've ever thought, "After everything I do, why don't I feel appreciated?" this episode is for you. You'll learn how greater honesty, responsibility, and authenticity can create stronger connection—and often more intimacy—in your marriage. Episode Resources Come cruise with us this fall! Don't miss out on the International Lovemaking Day Challenge going on now in the Intimately Us app! Find Stu on Youtube (https://www.youtube.com/@iamstumurray) and Instagram: @iamstumurray   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.
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  309: What To Do When Your Spouse Isn't Interested in Improving Your Sex Life 29.05.2026 35мин

  Differences in sexual desire can feel deeply personal. One spouse feels rejected. The other feels pressured. And both end up wondering if something is wrong with their marriage. In this episode, Dan shares three principles that can completely change the way you think about desire differences in marriage. He talks honestly about the hidden power dynamics couples fall into, why conflict around sex is actually an opportunity for growth, and how sometimes "low desire" is actually a wise response to unhealthy meanings attached to sex. You'll learn: Why every marriage has a higher and lower desire spouse The three unhealthy ways couples typically handle sexual conflict (and how to do it better) Why vulnerability is often more powerful than pressure How to stop using sex for validation and start creating truly good sex together This episode is honest, hopeful, and deeply practical for couples who feel stuck in painful intimacy patterns. If you've ever felt lonely, rejected, pressured, unseen, or exhausted by the pursuit-withdraw cycle in your marriage, this episode is for you. And if you'd like personal help implementing these principles, our program can help you take those first steps, even if your spouse isn't on board. After all,  "personal responsibility and growth is the solution to most s*xual difficulties" and our program is designed to address just that.  And if you'd like to bring more eroticism and play into your marriage, you can join us on our cruise this October! Get all the details on our website. 
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  308: Better Sex by Sharing the Mental Load, with Zach Watson 22.05.2026 42мин

  Better sex isn't just about what happens in the bedroom. In this episode, Dan sits down with Zach Watson to unpack the hidden emotional and mental work happening inside many marriages — and why it has such a powerful impact on intimacy. They talk about invisible labor, mental load, emotional safety, and the loneliness that can build when one partner feels like they're carrying everything alone. Zach shares practical ways couples can better share responsibility, communicate more clearly, and create more trust and partnership at home. You'll also hear: Why "helping" can sometimes create more frustration The difference between doing a task and owning it How emotional labor affects desire and connection Why empathy matters so much in sexual intimacy Simple ways couples can work more like teammates This episode is honest, practical, and full of moments that will help you better understand your partner — and yourself. Episode Resources  Thriving Together: How to Share the Mental Load in Marriage  (GYMO Guide) Get ready for International Lovemaking Day with Intimately Us! Come cruise with us! Zach's Free Mental Load Basics Skool Community Find Zach on Socials: @zachmentalloadcoach (Instagram) and @zachthinkshare (Facebook)   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.
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  307: When You Finally Start Letting Go (Peggy & Steve Coaching Series, Part 5) 15.05.2026 35мин

  In this final session with Peggy and Steve, things feel different.  The wall Peggy used to feel during intimacy—the fear, tension, and resistance that would suddenly shut everything down—is starting to soften. And for the first time in a long time, both of them are beginning to relax. In this episode, you'll hear Peggy and Steve reflect on the progress they've made over the last few months, what still feels difficult, and what they're continuing to work through together. You'll also hear conversations about: learning to let go a little more why sex can start to feel overly serious the role playfulness has in intimacy stress, emotional overload, and connection and what it means to feel truly free with your spouse This episode is a hopeful ending to a deeply honest coaching journey—and a reminder that growth usually happens gradually, one small shift at a time. If you'd like some guidance to shift your marriage, check out our coaching options at getyourmarriageon.com/program or getyourmarriageon.com/work-with-me/