Anger Secrets: Anger Management for Healthier Relationships

Епизоде

• 
  203 - "I Was Destroying My Family". How One Man Finally Controlled His Anger 20.09.2026 15мин

  For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Five weeks earlier, Cyrus believed he was beyond help. His wife was afraid of him. His children were living with the effects of his anger. Today, his family life looks completely different. This is his story.In this special episode of the Anger Secrets Podcast, Alastair sits down with Cyrus, a husband, father and farmer who openly shares how uncontrolled anger nearly destroyed his marriage and family. For years, he believed everyone else caused his anger. He thought losing his temper was simply part of who he was. Everything changed when his wife admitted she no longer felt safe in her own home.During this honest conversation, Cyrus explains why asking for help was the hardest decision he ever made, the biggest breakthroughs he experienced inside the Complete Anger Management System, and how learning to take responsibility completely changed the way he relates to his wife, children and the people around him. You'll hear how the Tension Scale transformed arguments at home, why he stopped blaming other people for his emotions, and how his children began trusting him again. Most importantly, you'll hear the small moments that prove real change has happened. His wife plays music around the house again. His children now come to him with their problems instead of hiding from him. Arguments no longer end with shouting or slammed doors. If you've ever wondered whether it's really possible to change after years of anger, Cyrus's story is living proof that it is.The Anger Secrets Podcast helps men and women master anger management, rebuild trust after anger, strengthen relationships and create calmer, happier families. Hosted by anger specialist Alastair Duhs, creator of The Complete Anger Management System.
• 
  202 - You Might Be Emotionally Abusive Without Knowing It. Here's the Pattern That Proves It. 13.09.2026 11мин

  For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Most people who become emotionally abusive don't wake up intending to hurt the person they love. But unmanaged anger can quietly become emotional abuse without you ever recognising the pattern. This episode explains how it happens, and how to stop it before it destroys your relationship.Many people think emotional abuse only applies to extreme relationships. In reality, it often develops slowly through repeated anger, criticism, intimidation, stonewalling, controlling behaviour, or making a partner feel unsafe. These behaviours frequently grow out of anger problems rather than deliberate cruelty, but the damage they cause is no less real.In this episode, Alastair explains what emotional abuse actually is, why intent doesn't erase its impact and how fear, shame, and emotional insecurity quietly develop inside relationships. You'll learn why emotionally abusive behaviour often begins with anger that goes unchecked, how to recognise the warning signs in yourself, and why taking responsibility is the turning point that allows real change to begin.Alastair also shares the five-step process he teaches clients to break these destructive patterns: developing honest self-awareness, accepting responsibility without excuses, understanding the emotional impact on your partner and children, identifying your anger triggers, and committing to lasting behavioural change. Through the story of one client who rebuilt safety in his home, you'll see that change is possible—even after years of damaging behaviour.The Anger Secrets Podcast helps men and women master anger management, improve relationships, rebuild trust after anger, and create calmer, happier families. Hosted by anger specialist Alastair Duhs, creator of The Complete Anger Management System.
• 
  201 - Is Your Anger Hurting Your Children? What Every Parent Needs to Know 06.09.2026 12мин

  For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com/.Every parent loses their patience sometimes. But when anger becomes a pattern, it affects far more than one difficult moment. In this episode, Alastair explains how parental anger shapes your children's emotional wellbeing, and how you can stop the cycle before it becomes their future.If you've ever watched your child go quiet after you've shouted, or wondered whether your temper is leaving lasting scars, you're not alone. Many loving parents struggle with anger, but few realise how deeply children absorb repeated anger at home. They don't just remember the shouting - they learn from it.In this episode, you'll discover how unmanaged parental anger influences your children's confidence, behaviour, future relationships, and emotional development. Alastair explains why children often copy the emotional patterns they see at home and how the anger cycle can quietly pass from one generation to the next if it isn't interrupted.You'll also learn five practical strategies you can begin using immediately: the STOP technique to interrupt anger before it explodes, replacing blaming "you" statements with calmer "I" statements, creating predictable routines that reduce conflict, using positive reinforcement to strengthen connection, and teaching children healthy emotional regulation through calm-down spaces. These are practical tools designed to help you stop snapping at your kids and create a calmer, safer home.The Anger Secrets Podcast helps men and women master anger management, improve family relationships, strengthen emotional regulation, and build calmer, happier homes.Hosted by anger specialist Alastair Duhs, creator of The Complete Anger Management System.
• 
  200 - Can You Actually Control Your Anger? What Most People Get Wrong. 30.08.2026 10мин

  For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com.If you've ever found yourself asking, "Why can't I control my anger?" you're not alone. Most people believe anger simply happens to them. In this episode, Alastair explains why that belief keeps people stuck, and where real control actually begins.Many people think anger is something that takes over without warning. It feels automatic. One minute you're calm, the next you're shouting at your partner, snapping at your children, or saying something you'll regret. But the truth is more hopeful than that.In this episode, you'll discover why anger only feels uncontrollable when you miss the early warning signs. Alastair explains how physical sensations, emotional reactions, and automatic thoughts all act as anger triggers long before an explosion occurs. Once you learn to recognise those signals, you create the space to make a different choice.You'll also discover why lasting anger management isn't just about breathing techniques or willpower. Real change happens when you begin examining the beliefs that shape the way you interpret situations. By recognising your anger triggers, understanding your automatic thoughts, and challenging the beliefs underneath them, you can respond with intention instead of reacting on impulse.Whether you're trying to stop damaging your relationship, become a calmer parent, or finally gain control over your anger, this episode shows you where genuine choice begins.The Anger Secrets Podcast helps men and women master anger management, understand anger triggers, improve emotional regulation, build healthier relationships, and create calmer, happier families. Hosted by anger specialist Alastair Duhs, creator of The Complete Anger Management System.
• 
  199 - The Pause That Saves Your Relationship: How Mindfulness Stops Anger Before It Explodes 23.08.2026 12мин

  For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Most people think anger is the problem. It isn't. The real problem is the split second between the trigger and your reaction. In this episode, you'll learn how mindfulness helps you create that pause so you can respond instead of explode.If you've ever found yourself shouting at your partner, snapping at your children or regretting something you said only seconds later, this episode is for you. Alastair explains why mindfulness isn't about meditation or emptying your mind - it's about becoming aware of what's happening before anger takes control.You'll discover three practical mindfulness techniques you can start using today: deep breathing to calm your nervous system, body scanning to recognise your personal warning signs before anger escalates, and learning to observe your thoughts instead of becoming trapped by them. Together, these simple practices create the space to choose a different response when anger begins to rise.Alastair also explains the science behind mindfulness, how regular practice strengthens emotional regulation, and why relying on willpower alone rarely works. Through the story of one client who transformed the atmosphere in his home, you'll hear how one small pause can change the way your partner and children experience you - and how that pause becomes the first step toward rebuilding trust after anger.The Anger Secrets Podcast helps men and women gain lasting anger management skills so they can control anger, improve relationships, strengthen emotional regulation, and build calmer, happier families. Hosted by anger specialist Alastair Duhs, creator of The Complete Anger Management System.
• 
  198 - Is Disconnection Destroying Your Relationship? 16.08.2026 12мин

  For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.You love your partner. You work hard. You show up. Yet somehow the distance between you keeps growing. Conversations feel flat, small disagreements turn into bigger arguments than they should and the relationship feels more like a partnership in logistics than a real connection.In this episode, Alastair explores one of the most overlooked causes of relationship conflict: emotional disconnection. While many people focus on controlling anger directly, they miss the deeper issue underneath many recurring arguments. When people feel unseen, unappreciated, or unloved, frustration builds, resentment grows and even small problems can trigger outsized reactions.You'll learn how the Five Love Languages influence the way people give and receive love, why partners often feel disconnected despite genuinely caring about each other, and how simple misunderstandings about emotional needs can quietly damage a relationship over time. Alastair explains each of the five love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch, and shows how understanding your partner's preferences can strengthen connection and reduce conflict.Most importantly, you'll discover why connection is one of the most powerful anger-management tools available. When people feel loved, understood, and emotionally connected, arguments become less frequent, less intense, and easier to recover from. A stronger relationship creates a stronger foundation, and that foundation changes everything.Anger Secrets is the podcast for men and women who want lasting anger management solutions and healthier relationships. Hosted by Alastair Duhs, creator of The Complete Anger Management System, each episode explores anger control, emotional regulation, communication skills, and practical strategies for building calmer, happier, and more connected lives.Your Next Step:Visit angersecrets.com.Learn more about The Complete Anger Management SystemAccess the free training on "Breaking The Anger Cycle"Book a free 30-minute anger assessment call
• 
  197 - He Lost His Marriage Before He Asked for Help. Here's What Colin Learned. 09.08.2026 12мин

  For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Colin knew he had an anger problem. His wife knew it too. She asked him more than once to get help, but like many people struggling with anger, he convinced himself things weren't that bad. By the time he finally decided to do something about it, his marriage was over.In this episode, Alastair shares Colin's story in his own words. It's an honest and deeply personal conversation about the real cost of untreated anger, the damage it can do to trust, communication, and family relationships and what happens when someone finally decides enough is enough.You'll hear how pride, denial, impulsive reactions and learned family patterns kept Colin stuck for years. You'll also hear the difficult realisation that many of his behaviors—raising his voice, jumping to conclusions, becoming defensive and reacting without thinking—were patterns he had inherited and accepted as normal. Most importantly, you'll hear how awareness, accountability and practical anger management tools helped him begin creating a different future for himself and his children.This episode isn't about saving a marriage. It's about something equally important: refusing to let anger keep damaging the people you love. Colin's story is a reminder that change is possible, that breaking generational patterns is possible, and that the sooner you act, the less damage anger has the opportunity to cause.If you've ever thought, "I've got this under control," or "It's not that bad," this conversation may be the wake-up call you need.Anger Secrets is the podcast for men and women who want lasting anger management solutions and stronger relationships. Hosted by Alastair Duhs, creator of The Complete Anger Management System, each episode explores anger control, emotional regulation, communication skills, and practical strategies for building calmer, happier, and more connected lives.Your Next Step:Visit angersecrets.com.Learn more about The Complete Anger Management SystemAccess the free training on "Breaking The Anger Cycle"Book a free 30-minute anger assessment call
• 
  196 - How to Stop Having the Same Argument Again and Again 02.08.2026 11мин

  For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.The argument is over, but the damage is still there. The frustration. The guilt. The distance. If you and your partner keep finding yourselves trapped in the same painful conflicts, this episode will show you a practical way to start breaking the cycle and rebuilding trust.In the previous episode, Alastair introduced the Drama Triangle, the hidden relationship pattern that keeps couples stuck in blame, defensiveness and recurring arguments. In this episode, he shares the antidote: the Winner's Triangle, a simple framework that helps couples communicate in healthier, more productive ways during conflict.You'll learn the three key shifts that transform destructive arguments into opportunities for connection. Discover how to move from blame to assertive communication, from helplessness to healthy vulnerability, and from trying to fix your partner to offering genuine support.Through practical examples, Alastair explains why these changes create safer conversations, stronger emotional connection, and healthier conflict resolution.Most importantly, you'll learn why lasting relationship change doesn't happen in the middle of an argument. It happens afterward, when you're willing to look honestly at your patterns, recognise the role you've been playing, and choose a different response next time. That's how trust is rebuilt. That's how relationships heal after anger. And that's how couples finally stop having the same fight over and over again.Anger Secrets is the podcast for men and women who want lasting anger management solutions and healthier relationships. Hosted by Alastair Duhs, creator of The Complete Anger Management System, each episode explores anger control, emotional regulation, communication skills, and practical strategies for building calmer, happier, and more connected lives.Your Next Step:Visit angersecrets.com.Learn more about The Complete Anger Management SystemAccess the free training on "Breaking The Anger Cycle"Book a free 30-minute anger assessment call
• 
  195 - Why Couples Keep Having the Same Fight 26.07.2026 11мин

  For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Most couples think they're arguing about the dishes, the forgotten phone call or something that happened last weekend. They're not.Beneath almost every recurring conflict is a hidden pattern that keeps both people stuck, and until you see that pattern, the same arguments tend to repeat themselves again and again.In this episode, Alastair introduces one of the most powerful relationship tools for understanding anger and conflict: the Drama Triangle. You'll learn why people unconsciously slip into three familiar roles during arguments and how those roles create frustration, defensiveness, blame and emotional distance in a marriage.You'll discover the characteristics of the Persecutor, Victim and Rescuer roles, why none of them actually solve the problem, and how couples can switch between them multiple times during a single disagreement without even realising it. Through practical examples, Alastair explains how these patterns show up in everyday conversations and why they leave both partners feeling misunderstood, unheard, and stuck.Most importantly, you'll learn the first step toward breaking the cycle: recognising the role you're playing before anger takes over the conversation. Because lasting relationship change doesn't start by changing your partner. It starts by seeing your own patterns clearly enough to choose a different response.If you've ever wondered why the same arguments keep happening in your marriage despite your best intentions, this episode will help you understand the hidden dynamic underneath the conflict and why awareness is the key to creating healthier communication.Anger Secrets is the podcast for men and women who want lasting anger management solutions and stronger relationships. Hosted by Alastair Duhs, creator of The Complete Anger Management System, each episode explores anger control, emotional regulation, communication skills, and practical strategies for building calmer, happier, and more connected lives.Your Next Step:Visit angersecrets.com.Learn more about The Complete Anger Management SystemAccess the free training on "Breaking The Anger Cycle"Book a free 30-minute anger assessment call
• 
  194 - The One Skill That Stops You Snapping at the People You Love 19.07.2026 10мин

  For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Why do so many people lose their temper before they even realise they're angry?The answer isn't a lack of willpower. It's a lack of awareness. If you can't see anger building, you can't stop it before it damages your relationships.In this episode, Alastair explains why self-awareness is the foundation of effective anger management and emotional control. Most people don't catch their anger until they're already raising their voice, shutting down or saying something they regret. By then, the emotional part of the brain has taken over and the damage is already happening.You'll learn the three core skills that help you recognise anger before it escalates.First, how to identify your personal early warning signs of anger, including physical changes in your body that appear before an outburst.Second, how to slow down your reactions and create enough space to choose your response instead of automatically reacting.And third, how to identify the anger triggers that repeatedly pull you into the same frustrating patterns with your spouse, children or other important people in your life.If you've ever wondered why anger seems to happen so fast, or why you keep snapping at the people you love despite your best intentions, this episode will help you understand what's really happening and how to change it. Self-awareness isn't just another anger management technique. It's the skill that makes every other technique possible.Anger Secrets is the podcast for men and women who want lasting anger management solutions and healthier relationships. Hosted by Alastair Duhs, creator of The Complete Anger Management System, each episode explores anger control, emotional regulation, communication skills, and practical tools for building calmer, happier, and more connected lives.Your Next Step:Visit angersecrets.com.Learn more about The Complete Anger Management SystemAccess the free training on "Breaking The Anger Cycle"Book a free 30-minute anger assessment call
• 
  193 - 10 People Who Thought They'd Never Control Their Anger 12.07.2026 10мин

  For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.If you've ever wondered whether your anger is just who you are, this episode is for you. These stories show what can happen when people stop letting anger control their relationships and start taking real steps toward change.In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares the experiences of 10 men and women who struggled with anger, frustration, losing their temper and the growing distance those patterns created at home. Some were watching trust disappear from their marriage. Others felt disconnected from their children. Many had reached the point where they worried nothing would ever change.You'll hear the common themes that emerged from their journeys: learning to pause before reacting, taking responsibility for their anger, rebuilding trust after years of conflict and creating calmer, healthier relationships with the people they love most.You'll also hear why so many of them said the same thing afterward: "I wish I'd done this sooner."This isn't an episode about quick fixes. It's about hope. It's about seeing that anger management is a learnable skill, that emotional control can be developed, and that relationships damaged by anger can begin to heal when someone commits to a different path. If you've been wondering whether lasting change is possible for you, these stories provide a powerful answer.Anger Secrets is the podcast for men and women who want practical anger management strategies and stronger relationships. Hosted by Alastair Duhs, creator of The Complete Anger Management System, each episode explores anger control, emotional regulation, communication, and the skills needed to build calmer, happier, and more connected lives.Your Next Step:Visit angersecrets.com.Learn more about The Complete Anger Management SystemAccess the free training on "Breaking The Anger Cycle"Book a free 30-minute anger assessment call
• 
  192 - Is Your Anger Ruining Your Marriage? Five Things You Can Do Right Now 05.07.2026 12мин

  For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.You love your partner, but lately something feels different. The arguments go in circles. The distance keeps growing. If you've started wondering whether your anger is damaging your marriage, this episode will help you take the first steps toward turning things around.In this episode, Alastair shares five practical actions you can take right now if anger is creating tension, distance or repeated conflict in your relationship. These aren't complicated relationship hacks or communication tricks. They're simple changes that help rebuild trust, improve communication, and create a healthier foundation for your marriage.You'll learn why taking responsibility for your reactions is one of the most powerful things you can do, how assumptions create unnecessary conflict and why most couples spend more time preparing their response than truly listening. Alastair also explains why many marriages suffer from a lack of intentional connection and how small, consistent investments in your relationship can make a bigger difference than grand gestures.Whether your partner feels like they're walking on eggshells, conversations regularly escalate into arguments or you simply want to stop losing your temper and become a calmer spouse, these five strategies will help you start moving in the right direction. The goal isn't perfection. It's creating a marriage where understanding replaces defensiveness, connection replaces distance and anger no longer controls the atmosphere in your home.Anger Secrets is the podcast for men and women who want lasting anger management solutions and stronger relationships. Hosted by Alastair Duhs, creator of The Complete Anger Management System, each episode explores anger control, emotional regulation, communication skills and practical tools for building calmer, happier, and more connected lives.Your Next Step:Visit angersecrets.com.Learn more about The Complete Anger Management SystemAccess the free training on "Breaking The Anger Cycle"Book a free 30-minute anger assessment call
• 
  191 - Do You Have an Anger Problem? Here's How to Know for Sure 28.06.2026 11мин

  For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Most people with an anger problem don't think they have one. They've never been violent. They don't see themselves as angry people. But if your partner is walking on eggshells, your kids are pulling away or the same arguments keep happening over and over, anger may be affecting your relationships more than you realize.In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs answers five of the most common questions about anger management. What is anger, really? Why does it keep happening? Is anger always a bad thing? How do you know when it has become a genuine problem? And most importantly, what can you do about it?You'll learn why anger is an emotion rather than a behavior, how your thoughts influence your emotional reactions, and why many people mistakenly believe their anger is caused by other people. Alastair also explains why anger doesn't need to be explosive to cause damage. Sometimes the biggest warning signs are subtle: a spouse becoming quieter, children sharing less, unresolved arguments and a growing sense of distance at home.If you've ever wondered whether you're overreacting, minimizing the problem or simply "getting frustrated sometimes," this episode will help you take an honest look at the impact anger may be having on your marriage and family. You'll also learn practical first steps for changing the pattern, including recognizing early warning signs, challenging anger-producing thoughts and learning to listen with understanding instead of defensiveness.Anger Secrets is the podcast for men and women who want lasting anger management solutions and healthier relationships. Hosted by Alastair Duhs, creator of The Complete Anger Management System, each episode explores anger control, emotional regulation, communication skills, and practical strategies for building calmer, happier and more connected lives.Your Next Step:Visit angersecrets.com.Learn more about The Complete Anger Management SystemAccess the free training on "Breaking The Anger Cycle"Book a free 30-minute anger assessment call
• 
  190 - The Split Second That Saves Your Marriage 21.06.2026 11мин

  For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Most people think anger arrives out of nowhere. One moment you're discussing something ordinary with your partner or family, and the next, you're shouting, regretting what you said and wondering how it happened. The truth is that anger doesn't take over instantly. There's a split second before the blowup where everything can go differently.In this episode, you'll learn three simple strategies to help you stay calm under pressure and stop losing your temper before it damages the relationships that matter most. You'll discover how to recognize your early warning signs of anger, ask a powerful question that interrupts the anger cycle and shift from defensiveness to curiosity when conflict starts to build.Through real client stories and practical examples, Alastair explains why anger always leaves clues before it explodes and how learning to notice those clues can transform your marriage, family life, and closest relationships. These are simple tools, but when practiced consistently, they can help you respond with greater emotional control and create calmer, healthier conversations at home.Anger Secrets is the podcast for men and women who want lasting anger management solutions and better relationships. Hosted by Alastair Duhs, creator of The Complete Anger Management System, each episode explores anger control, emotional regulation, communication and the skills needed to build calmer, happier and more connected lives.Your Next Step:Visit angersecrets.comLearn more about The Complete Anger Management SystemAccess the free training on "Breaking The Anger Cycle"Book a free 30-minute anger assessment call
• 
  189 - Taking Things Personally Isn't the Problem - This Is 14.06.2026 11мин

  For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Most people think taking things personally is the problem. It isn't. The real problem is the meaning you attach to what other people say, and how quickly that meaning turns into anger, hurt, or defensiveness.If you've ever replayed a conversation for hours, felt crushed by criticism or found yourself reacting strongly to a comment that seemed minor to everyone else, this episode is for you. Alastair explains why taking things personally isn't a character flaw but a learned pattern, and how that pattern fuels emotional reactions that damage confidence, communication, and relationships.You'll learn two practical principles that can immediately reduce emotional reactivity.First, how to recognise when another person's words are really a reflection of their own stress, frustration, or perspective rather than a judgment of your worth.Second, how to identify the moments when criticism contains useful feedback that can help you grow rather than trigger defensiveness.Through real client examples from both the workplace and family life, you'll discover how emotional control begins with questioning the automatic stories your mind creates. The result is fewer arguments, calmer responses, stronger communication and healthier relationships.Anger Secrets is the podcast for people who want practical anger management strategies that create calmer relationships, stronger emotional control, and lasting personal change.Hosted by Alastair Duhs, creator of The Complete Anger Management System and founder of Anger Secrets.Resources & Next Steps:If you find yourself replaying conversations, getting defensive or feeling hurt by things others seem to brush off, Alastair would love to help:Visit: angersecrets.comLearn more about The Complete Anger Management SystemAccess the free training on "Breaking The Anger Cycle"
• 
  188 - Is Anger Management Change Sustainable? Michael's Story 07.06.2026 17мин

  For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs sits down with Michael, a man in his late 70s who completed Alastair's anger management program 18 months ago, to find out one simple thing: did the change last? Whether you have tried to control your anger before and slipped back, or you are wondering whether it is even worth starting, this conversation offers a real and honest answer.Rather than offering theory, Alastair lets Michael tell his own story, from the Christmas visit where his daughter confronted him about the kind of father he had been, to the calmer, more connected life he is living today. And the good news is, Michael's experience shows that lasting change is possible, and probably not as hard as you think.Key Takeaways:The fear that change won't last stops a lot of people from ever trying. Michael's story is a direct answer to that fear. Eighteen months on, the changes are real and they have held.Anger is almost always connected to a story you are telling yourself. Michael had come to believe his success entitled him to say whatever he wanted, however he wanted. Until he saw that story clearly, no technique could touch the root of it.Controlling your anger is not about becoming a pushover. Michael stopped using anger as a tool to assert his position. He did not stop having opinions or standards.Sustainable change happens when the motivation lives inside you, not in someone else's reaction. Michael's daughter has never acknowledged his change. He is genuinely okay with that, because he is doing it for himself, not for her approval.It is easier than most people expect, but it requires ongoing practice. Michael still revisits his notes when old patterns start to creep in. Long-term change is not about white-knuckling difficult moments. It is about returning to the tools.It is never too late. Michael is in his late 70s, calmer, closer to his wife, and rebuilding his relationship with his daughter. The work he did has made his life genuinely more enjoyable.Resources & Next Steps: If today's episode has made you think about your own anger and what lasting change might look like for you:Visit: angersecrets.comLearn more about The Complete Anger Management SystemAccess the free training on "Breaking The Anger Cycle"
• 
  187 - 10 Rules To Control Your Anger - Starting Today 31.05.2026 12мин

  For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares ten rules of anger management that he has refined over more than thirty years of working with clients. Whether your anger shows up in the big blowups, the sharp comments you didn't mean to make or the slow build of tension your partner can see before you even realise it yourself, these rules give you a practical framework to work with, starting today.Rather than focusing on a single trick for calming down in the heat of the moment, Alastair walks through the deeper shifts that actually change things, from recognising your early warning signs to taking responsibility for your actions and knowing when to ask for help.Key Takeaways:Awareness is the foundation everything else rests on. By the time most people realise they are angry, it is already too late to manage it cleanly. Learning your early warning signs gives you a window to act before anger takes hold.Other people do not make you angry. You do. Anger is the emotional response you create based on your thoughts and expectations, and that is actually good news. If you create it, you can change it.Feeling angry is not the problem. The problem is when anger turns into action, shouting, name-calling, putting someone down. Feelings and actions are separate. That gap between the two is where your power lives.Anger almost never leads to a good outcome. It damages trust, shuts down communication and makes the other person defensive. Before you speak in a heated moment, ask yourself: will this actually help?You cannot force another person to change. What you can do is change how you show up. When you consistently respond with more calm and intention, the dynamic between you and the people around you often begins to shift too.Use the tension scale throughout your day. By the time most people recognise they are angry, they are already at an eight or nine out of ten. The goal is to catch it at a three or four, when you still have real choices.If your anger is causing problems in your relationships, please ask for help. The people who reach out are the ones who change the fastest, because they stop trying to figure it out alone.Resources & Next Steps: If you would like support applying these ten rules and building calmer, more loving relationships:Visit: angersecrets.comLearn more about The Complete Anger Management SystemAccess the free training on "Breaking The Anger Cycle"
• 
  186 - How 6 Hours A Week Could Save Your Relationship 24.05.2026 12мин

  For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs walks through seven simple habits, drawn from the research of relationship psychologist Dr. John Gottman, that can fundamentally change how connected, loved and secure you and your partner feel. Whether your relationship has drifted into silence, feels more like a housemate arrangement or simply lacks the warmth it once had, these habits show exactly where to start.Rather than offering grand romantic gestures or an overhaul of your entire week, Alastair explains how just six intentional hours, built from small, consistent moments, can rebuild a relationship from the inside out. And the good news is, most of what he shares takes minutes, not hours.Key Takeaways:Most couples don't fall apart because of one big thing. They drift apart because of 100 small things, and the same is true in reverse. Small habits can erode a relationship, and small habits can rebuild it.The way you say goodbye in the morning sets the emotional tone for both of you for hours afterwards. A moment of real contact before you part, a hug, a kind word, genuine eye contact, is worth far more than most people realise.Reunions matter just as much as goodbyes. A genuine reconnection when you walk back through the door signals safety and warmth. It tells your partner they matter more than the chaos of the day.We are wired to notice what is wrong. If you are not intentional about appreciation, the frustrations get all the attention and the good stuff goes unspoken. A daily habit of expressing genuine admiration changes the whole atmosphere of a relationship, often faster than people expect.Physical affection throughout the day, a hand on the shoulder, sitting close, a proper hug, builds what researchers call emotional bonding. Words alone cannot create it.A daily stress-reducing conversation is not about logistics. It is about each other's inner world. And crucially, the role of the listener is just to listen, not to fix, not to advise. Just to be present. This is a skill, and it gets easier with practice.A weekly relationship check-in stops small problems from becoming big ones. Nothing festers, nothing builds into the kind of resentment that takes months to untangle. It can feel awkward at first. But it works.Resources & Next Steps: If you'd like support putting these habits into practice, or if anger or arguments have been getting in the way of the relationship you want:Visit: angersecrets.comLearn more about The Complete Anger Management SystemAccess the free training on "Breaking The Anger Cycle"
• 
  185 - Why Do I Keep Getting Angry Over The Same Things? 17.05.2026 10мин

  For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs walks through three powerful mindset shifts to help break the cycle of repeating anger. Whether it is the same argument with your partner, the same trigger at work or the same driver cutting you off, he explains why the pattern keeps happening and what you can do to finally change it.Rather than offering generic advice, Alastair gets to the root of why anger keeps repeating. These are real, practical shifts. And the good news is they are skills anyone can learn.Key Takeaways:Repeating anger patterns do not mean something is wrong with you. There is a specific reason the same things keep triggering you, and once you understand it, everything changes.Practicing acceptance is not about being passive. It means letting go of the idea that anger will change what you cannot control. When you stop fighting that battle, your anger has nowhere to go.Empathy is one of the most powerful tools in relationships. When you pause and ask what might be going on for the other person, the defensiveness drops and there is suddenly room for a real conversation.Anger makes things feel urgent and catastrophic. Most of the time they are not. Asking yourself whether this will matter in a year gives you a fast way to check if the anger is worth it.Maintaining perspective also means remembering that everyone makes mistakes, including you. That awareness makes you more forgiving and less likely to repeat the same argument.These are skills, not personality traits. With practice, they can fundamentally change how you respond to the things that used to set you off.Resources & Next Steps: If you would like help breaking the cycle of anger and building calmer, more loving relationships:Visit: angersecrets.comLearn more about The Complete Anger Management SystemAccess the free training on "Breaking The Anger Cycle"
• 
  184 - Why Do I Always Say The Wrong Thing When My Partner Is Upset? 10.05.2026 12мин

  For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs walks through four simple but powerful steps to help you say the right thing when your partner is upset - whether you tend to jump straight to fixing, go quiet or say something that somehow makes things worse. These are practical, learnable skills that work even when emotions are running high.Rather than offering generic advice, Alastair gets to the heart of why these moments go wrong so often: not because you don't care, but because your partner doesn't yet feel understood. And until they do, almost nothing you say will land well. And the good news is, that's entirely within your power to change.Key Takeaways:The problem usually isn't what you're saying. Until your partner feels understood, even the kindest or most logical words won't land. Feeling heard has to come before anything else.Minimal encouragers, a nod, a quiet "I see," steady eye contact, are small signals with a big impact. They tell your partner it's safe to keep going, and their absence is one of the most common reasons partners feel unheard.There's a real difference between questions that open a conversation up and questions that close it down. Open-ended questions and questions about feelings take the conversation somewhere real; beyond facts and logistics, into what your partner actually experienced.Reflecting back what your partner has said in your own words does two things: it lets them know they've genuinely been heard, and it gives them the chance to correct you if you've misunderstood. Both of those matter more than most people realise.Giving positive feedback doesn't mean piling on compliments. A simple "thank you for telling me that" signals that bringing things to you is safe, and partners who feel appreciated for communicating tend to communicate more.Practice these four steps consistently and the change you'll notice isn't just fewer arguments. It's a stronger, warmer connection day to day.Resources & Next Steps: If you'd like support saying the right thing in those difficult moments and building a calmer, more loving relationship:Visit: angersecrets.comLearn more about The Complete Anger Management SystemAccess the free training on "Breaking The Anger Cycle"