Typology

Епизоде

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  From the NFL to the Pulpit: Derwin Gray on Forgiveness, Fear, and Finding Your Father 11.09.2026 58мин

  There's a particular kind of loneliness that comes from caring about something before anyone else in the room does. My guest today knows that loneliness intimately. Rev. Dr. Derwin L. Gray played in the NFL before founding Transformation Church in 2010. He's also an Enneagram Eight — and in this conversation, we get into what it actually feels like to live inside that number: the passion that gets mistaken for anger, the instinct to protect people before they've asked to be protected, and the particular ache of caring more than the room does. We explore the difference between using pain as fuel and actually healing it, because as he puts it, vengeance has a way of burning you up on its way out. He walks us through the HEAL framework from his new book, It's Time to Heal: Four God-Given Steps to Restore What Life Has Shattered and names his own core wound in three words I haven't stopped thinking about since we recorded. If you've ever confused surviving a wound with healing it, this episode's for you. 
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  The Spark Three: Stephanie Barron Hall on Chemistry, Performance, and the Search for Self 03.09.2026 55мин

  What happens when a Three stops performing and starts telling the truth, even to herself? Anthony and I sat down with Stephanie Barron Hall, author of Enneagram in Real Life and host of the Enneagram in Real Life podcast, for a conversation that starts with instinctual stacking and ends up somewhere much deeper. Steph, a sexual (or what she calls a "spark") dominant Three, unpacks how the sexual instinct differs from the social Three most people picture, why she was so often mistaken for a Four, and how she's learned to notice the exact moment she starts performing instead of being present. We move through the difference between achieving your identity and receiving it, the religious trauma that shaped Steph's relationship to spirituality, and why she's going back to school in her late thirties to become a therapist. We also talk honestly about what it actually costs to tell yourself the truth, not just other people. Steph is the author of Enneagram in Real Life, available wherever books are sold. Find her at ninetypes.co and on her own podcast, Enneagram in Real Life.   ABOUT STEPHANIE BARRON HALL Stephanie Barron Hall (M.A. Organizational Communication & Leadership) is an Accredited Enneagram Practitioner, author of The Enneagram in Love (2020) and Enneagram in Real Life (2025), creator of @NineTypesCo, and host of the Enneagram in Real Life podcast. Stephanie has been facilitating personality-centric team development for years as an outside consultant for organizations ranging from small businesses to Fortune 100 companies. Stephanie's approach to the Enneagram is grounded in communication theory and emphasizes deep personal work through application, curiosity, and self-awareness.
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  The Secure Soul: Dr. Alison Cook on Learning to Trust Yourself, Others, and God 27.08.2026 53мин

  Dr. Alison Cook, bestselling author of Boundaries for Your Soul, returns to Typology to talk about her new book, The Secure Soul: Finding Inner Strength and Connection When Trust Doesn't Come Easy. Alison is candid about her own lifelong wrestle with insecurity as an Enneagram Three, and we dig into two of her book's central characters: the controller, the part of us trying to earn love by managing how we're perceived, and the shadow, the part left holding everything we couldn't afford to feel. Drawing on Internal Family Systems, attachment theory, and contemplative Christian tradition, Alison offers a different way to think about the soul — not as a machine to fix, but as a mountain to explore, one shadowy valley at a time. Along the way: Gabor Maté's idea that children are forced to choose between attachment and authenticity, why "I am loved even here" might be the whole gospel in five words, and the real difference between fixing yourself and healing.   About Dr. Alison Cook:  Dr. Alison Cook is a psychologist of religion, licensed therapist, and host of the top-ranked The Best of You Podcast. She is the author of several bestselling books, including Boundaries for Your Soul. Known for her work at the intersection of faith, psychology, and spiritual formation, she helps people cultivate a secure inner life– healing past wounds, strengthening a grounded sense of self, building healthy relationships, and experiencing God as a steady and loving presence in their lives. She and her husband, Joe, are the parents of two adult children and call the mountains of Wyoming home. Facebook  Instagram Website The Best of You Podcast    
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  Mistyping, Subtypes, and the Long Road to Finding Your Real Number — with Beatrice Chestnut 20.08.2026 1ч 2мин

  What happens when the type you've claimed for years turns out to be wrong? Today, I sit down with returning guest Beatrice Chestnut — Enneagram teacher, author, and co-founder of the Chestnut Paes Enneagram Academy — for a wide-ranging conversation on one of the most common (and most human) struggles in Enneagram work: mistyping. We dig into why mistyping happens, how to hold a hypothesis about someone's type without imposing it, and the subtype distinctions that resolve the Enneagram's trickiest lookalikes — especially Twos vs. Nines and the three very different faces of Type Four and Type Six. Beatrice also opens up about her own evolving growth path, and I share a personal story about the moment a single sentence in one of Beatrice's books changed how I understood myself. IN THIS EPISODE Why mistyping is a normal part of the self-discovery journey — not a system failure How to gently raise a hypothesis about someone's type without playing "Enneagram police" The key differences between Twos and Nines (emotional expression, image-consciousness, who initiates) Self-preservation, social, and sexual subtypes of Type Four — the "glad," "sad," and "mad" Fours Why Sixes so often don't recognize their own fear-based motivation until they find the Enneagram Beatrice's personal reflection on growing from a Four toward Eight-like strength What it actually feels like when your type finally "lands" ABOUT OUR GUEST Beatrice Chestnut, PhD, is the co-founder of the Chestnut Paes Enneagram Academy and author of The Complete Enneagram (new edition available next month) and The 9 Types of Leadership. Learn more at beatricechestnut.com.
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  When Certainty Collapses: Chasing Francis – Chapter One 13.08.2026 58мин

  True spiritual transformation often begins at the exact moment our old answers stop working. This week, I'm sharing Chapter One of my newly revised novel, Chasing Francis: A Pilgrim's Tale. We follow Chase Falson, a megachurch pastor whose public confession of lost faith triggers an unexpected journey of the heart. While Chase's story is fictional, his hunger for something authentic mirrors my own season of wrestling with sterile religion. By sending Chase to Assisi to walk in the footsteps of St. Francis, I discovered that losing an inherited belief system isn't the end of faith—it's often the doorway into a far deeper, living encounter with God. Whether you haven't set foot in a church in a decade or you're sitting in a pew this Sunday, this episode is for anyone who's ever quietly wondered if there's something more.   Resources & Links:  Book: Pick up your copy of Chasing Francis: A Pilgrim's Tale Audio: Listen on Audible or wherever you listen to audiobooks Connect: Follow the show and connect with Ian on social at @ianmorgancron  
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  Enneagram Essentials: Passion and Virtue 06.08.2026 31мин

  Most Enneagram teaching is very good at describing what's wrong with you. This episode is about what's right. Every Enneagram type has a Passion — the chief emotional distortion the ego runs when it's disconnected from its truest self. Anger for the One. Pride for the Two. Deceit for the Three. Each of the nine types has one, and most of us have spent a lot of energy trying to manage ours without quite knowing what it is. But every type also has a Virtue. Not a moral achievement you add on top — a quality that naturally arises in the heart when the Passion loosens its grip. Serenity. Humility. Authenticity. Equanimity. Non-Attachment. Courage. Sobriety. Innocence. Right Action. These aren't things you build. They're things that emerge when you stop being in the way of yourself. In this final episode of the Enneagram Essentials series, Anthony and I walk through all nine Passions and their corresponding Virtues. I share what Equanimity feels like in my own life as a Four — when I manage to access it — and we close with two honest answers to the question of how any of this actually becomes real: contemplative practice, and a particular kind of willingness to stop running from pain. This is a hopeful episode. Everything in the series has been building toward this. The Enneagram has always been pointing here.   This is Episode 5 of 5 in the Enneagram Essentials series. All five episodes are available now wherever you listen to Typology.   RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:  The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron  The Story of You by Ian Morgan Cron Enneagram Assessment | Find Your Type Ian's speaking and organizational work   Follow Ian on Instagram | Facebook | TikTok | YouTube 
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  Enneagram Essentials: Subtypes 30.07.2026 36мин

  When you combine an Enneagram type with a dominant instinct, you get a subtype — and there are 27 of them. This is the level at which most people finally, fully recognize themselves in the Enneagram. Not at the type level, not at the instinct level, but here — where the two come together into something precise enough to actually fit. In this episode, Anthony and I walk through what subtypes are, why they matter so much, and what some of the most striking examples look like in practice. We spend time on the counter-phobic Sexual Six, who presents so differently from the general Six description that mistyping as an Eight is extremely common. We look at the Self-Preservation Four — stoic, tough, nothing like the image most people carry of the Romantic type — and the Social Three, whose image management has become so sophisticated that they can appear humble and self-effacing while running every calculation in the room. We also talk through how to identify your own subtype, what Beatrice Chestnut's work has contributed to this area of teaching, and what to do with the discomfort that often arises when a subtype description lands a little too accurately. If you've ever felt like your type description is about right but something important is still missing — or if you've ever thought you might be two different types — this episode is the one that usually resolves it.   This episode builds on Episode 3 (Instincts). Listen to that one first if you haven't.     RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE: The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge by Beatrice Chestnut  The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron The Story of You by Ian Morgan Cron Enneagram Assessment | Find Your Type Ian's speaking and organizational work    Follow on Instagram | Facebook | TikTok | YouTube
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  Enneagram Essentials: Instincts 24.07.2026 23мин

  Here's something I've noticed after years of teaching the Enneagram: there's usually a moment when someone who knows their type well suddenly encounters something that doesn't fit. A behavior they can't explain. A pattern that seems to contradict everything their type is supposed to do. More often than not, the answer lives in the instincts. In this episode — Episode 3 of our Enneagram Essentials series — Anthony and I go into one of the most undertaught concepts in popular Enneagram culture: the three instinctual drives. Every human being is wired with three biological survival drives — Self-Preservation, Social, and Sexual (or One-to-One). These aren't psychological preferences. They're primal. They predate the ego. And they operate in a hierarchy — which means that depending on which instinct fires first for you, two people of the same Enneagram type can look almost nothing alike. We walk through all three instincts in detail: what each is oriented toward, what it looks like in everyday life, what its shadow side is, and how to start identifying which one is dominant for you. We also talk about the Repressed instinct — the drive that tends to be most underdeveloped — and why understanding it can explain a remarkable amount of friction in your closest relationships. If you've ever felt like your type description is about 80% accurate and you can't figure out what the other 20% is — take a deeper look at instincts.   **This episode is part of the Enneagram Essentials series. Episode 4 builds directly on today's content, so listen in order if you can.  
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  Enneagram Essentials: Basic Fears 16.07.2026 28мин

  Most people who know the Enneagram know their type. Fewer know their Basic Fear. And even fewer have sat with it long enough to understand why knowing your basic fear is so important. In this episode — the second in our Enneagram Essentials series — Anthony and I go beneath the type descriptions and into the motivational core of the system: the nine Basic Fears and their counterparts, the nine Basic Desires. These are the engine underneath every pattern the Enneagram describes.  We go through all nine — what each type is running from, what it's running toward, and what it actually looks like when that fear is in the driver's seat. I also share something personal about what the fear of being ordinary has looked like in my own life as a Four. And we close with a practical practice you can start this week — one that will tell you more about your type than most assessments will. If you've been wondering why the Enneagram sometimes feels like it's describing your behavior but not quite explaining it, this is the episode. The explanation lives here. **This episode is part of the Enneagram Essentials series. Start with Episode 1 if you're new — it's a listener mailbag covering the basics and framing the series.       For additional Enneagram resources, visit https://IanMorganCron.com To register for the Enneagram Ones webinar, "Learning to Let Go," visit https://ianmorgancron.com/lettinggo
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  Enneagram Essentials: You Asked, We Answered 09.07.2026 38мин

  After nine seasons of Typology, Anthony and I thought we should revisit some of the basics.  This is the first episode of a five-part series we're calling Enneagram Essentials. Think of today as the front door — we cover the ground every listener needs, from how to find your type to how the Enneagram works in relationships, in faith, and in seasons of genuine suffering.  Then, in Episodes 2 through 5, we go deeper into the concepts that most Enneagram teaching glosses over: Basic Fears and Desires, Instincts, Subtypes, and Virtues. The four things that, in my experience, change everything once you actually understand them. Whether you found the Enneagram last week or you've been sitting with it for years, there's something in today's conversation for you.  
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  Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Lysa Terkeurst exemplifies a Nine Who's Done the Work 02.07.2026 38мин

  There's a particular kind of courage it takes for a Nine to write a book called Good Boundaries and Goodbyes — and Lysa TerKeurst has earned every word of it. Join us as we revisit Ian's conversation with the New York Times bestselling author to explore what it actually looks like to wake up from the Nine's trance of self-forgetting, find your voice, and learn to hold the line with compassion and clarity. Lysa gets honest about her own journey: the years of codependency during a long marriage marked by addiction and affairs, the discovery that boundaries aren't walls but communication tools, and the slow, non-linear work of learning to stop diminishing herself to cover for someone else's worst behavior. This episode is essential listening — not only for Nines but for anyone who has ever struggled to say no, set a limit, or walk away from a relationship that was taking more than it was giving. In this episode, Ian and Lysa discuss: The Nine's tendency to self-forget — and how that looks in conflict, breakups, and daily decisions Lysa's defining mantra: "I will no longer diminish the best of who I am to cover up for the worst of who someone else is." Practical scripts for saying no: "While my heart says yes, the reality of my time makes this a no." The difference between compassion and clarity — and why a Nine needs both How codependency shows up differently in Twos vs. Nines (and why they're so often confused) The dangerous pattern of spiritual bypassing — and how Lysa's therapist called it out Especially rich for Enneagram Nines and Twos — but every type will find something here worth writing down.     To learn more about Lysa Terkeurst visit www.lysaterkeurst.com or find her on Instagram and Facebook.  You can also pre-order her new book "Making Peace With What I Can't Control" here.   
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  Replay: Raising Kids Who Want to Come Home with Andy & Sandra Stanley 18.06.2026 45мин

  What does it mean to "get it right" as a parent? Not perfectly. Not without regret. Not with some airtight system that guarantees your children will become exactly who you hoped they'd be. But with intention. With humility. With the long view in mind. In this replay episode of Typology, I sit down with Andy and Sandra Stanley—both Enneagram Ones—to talk about their book, Parenting: Getting It Right. And what unfolds is a deeply honest, practical, and surprisingly tender conversation about parenting toward relationship instead of mere compliance. Andy and Sandra share how they came to define the "win" of parenting as raising kids who want to be with you and with each other when they no longer have to be. That one sentence is worth the price of admission. We also explore the role of discipline, apology, regret, repair, and why humility may be one of the greatest gifts parents can offer their children. Whether you are raising toddlers, teenagers, adult children, or looking back with a few regrets and a lot of love, this conversation is full of wisdom, grace, and hope. In this episode, we explore: Why parenting is ultimately about relationships, not rules How Enneagram Ones parent—and what happens when two Ones raise a Seven The difference between punishment and discipline Why learning to repair broken relationships is essential for lifelong happiness How parents can live with tension without trying to solve everything Why "progress, not perfection" may be the mercy every parent needs So pour a cup of coffee, take a deep breath, and listen in. This is one you'll want to pass along to every parent you know.
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  Mailbag: Trauma & Type, Subtypes, Wings, and How We Grieve 12.06.2026 30мин

  We're going back into the vault for one of our most popular mailbag episodes from Season 3 — and the questions are just as good as we remembered. In this episode, Ian and co-host Anthony Skinner answer listener questions on some of the Enneagram's most nuanced and personal territory: Can trauma actually change your type? What is the "sunny Four," and why do subtypes matter so much for Fours and Sixes? How do Threes and Fours process grief differently — and what does healthy grieving even look like through an Enneagram lens? What does it mean to have a heavy wing, and can you access both wings for growth? And for the Ones in the room — what do you actually do with all that repressed anger? Whether you're new to Typology or you've been with us for years, this one is worth your time. Have a question of your own? Send it to [email protected] and you might hear it answered on our next mailbag episode.  
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  The Way You Communicate Is Costing You Connection | Jason VanRuler 04.06.2026 46мин

  What if the reason your closest relationships feel stuck isn't about how much you care — but about how differently you and the people you love communicate? Today, I sit down with Jason VanRuler, therapist, Enneagram Two, and author of Discovering Your Communication Type: The 5 Paths to Deeper Connection and Stronger Relationships, as he introduces us to his P.A.T.H.S. framework — five communication styles he identified through years of working with couples navigating betrayal, teams in conflict, and individuals trying to understand why the same words land so differently depending on who's in the room. Those five types: the Peacemaker, the Advocate, the Thinker, the Harbor, and the Spark.  The nine Enneagram types map fascinatingly onto these five communication styles, and we walk through each type together. We talk about blind spots (every communication style has one), what happens to our style under stress and in conflict, and why the most generous thing you can do in any relationship is learn to speak your people's language rather than demanding they speak yours. Jason also shares honestly from his own marriage — he's a Harbor married to a Thinker — and what changed when he learned to stop reading his wife's precision questions as opposition and started hearing them as her version of love. Whether you're an Enneagram enthusiast, a couples therapist, a team leader, or just someone who's tired of feeling unseen in conversations, this episode is for you.  
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  Healing the Success Wound: Enneagram 3, Work Addiction, and the Path to Aligned Ambition with Brooke Taylor 28.05.2026 52мин

  What if the very thing driving your success is quietly breaking you? Brooke Taylor, Enneagram Three, career coach, and author of Healing the Success Wound,  joins me for a searingly honest conversation about achievement, identity, and spiritual hunger.. Brooke grew up in Silicon Valley where worth was measured in gold stars, landed at Google by her early twenties, and found herself drowning in a success she couldn't feel. We talk about the success wound which, as Brooke describes it, is the pain that comes from mistaking productivity and achievement for self-worth — the deeply installed belief that the more you produce and achieve, the more worthy of love and belonging you become. This wound isn't just for Enneagram Threes. It's a human condition — and it shows up differently depending on your type, your culture, your family system, and what "success" looks like in your particular world.  We talk through Brooke's five types of unfulfilled achievers — the grinder, the hider, the seeker, the work-hard-play-hard, and the pleaser — and I couldn't help mapping those to the Enneagram types in real time. We also get into the distinction between the true self, the wounded self, and the socialized (or protector) self — a framework rooted in Internal Family Systems and gestalt psychology that I think will resonate deeply with longtime Typology listeners. Whether you're a Three or you love one, this episode is for you.     Guest Bio: Brooke Taylor is a certified career coach, speaker, and the author of Healing the Success Wound. A self-identified Enneagram Three, Brooke built her coaching practice specifically for women navigating the intersection of ambition, identity, and fulfillment — though her framework applies broadly across genders. Her research includes a survey of more than 5,000 high-achieving professionals who identified as unfulfilled, which forms the empirical backbone of her five-type model of the unfulfilled achiever. A veteran of Google and a long-term member of recovery communities, Brooke brings both lived experience and rigorous research to her work. She is the founder of the Lined Ambition framework and writes and coaches at the crossroads of psychology, spirituality, and career development. Learn more at brooketaylor.co. Healing the Success Wound is available now wherever books are sold. Find Brooke at https://brooketaylorcoaching.com.  
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  Dr. Henry Cloud on Your Desired Future, Self-Awareness, and the Psychology of Change 21.05.2026 56мин

  Have you ever known where you want to go—but felt mysteriously stuck getting there? In this episode of Typology, I sit down with Dr. Henry Cloud, clinical psychologist, leadership expert, and bestselling author of Boundaries, to talk about his new book, Your Desired Future: The Five Essential Steps That Take You Where You Want to Go. Together, we explore the intersection of faith, psychology, the Enneagram, self-awareness, and personal growth, and how real transformation begins when we stop shaming ourselves for where we are and start getting curious about what's possible. Henry brings his characteristic wisdom, warmth, and clinical insight to a conversation about healing, purpose, emotional health, and the practical path from "here" to "there." This is a thoughtful and hope-filled conversation for anyone who feels stuck, is navigating change, or wants to better understand the patterns that shape the life they're living.
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  COURAGEOUS CONVERSATIONS: Negotation Skills and Your Enneagram Type with Attia Qureshi 14.05.2026 47мин

  "Emotions drive 90 to 95% of our unconscious decision-making." Attia Qureshi is back — and this time, we go deeper. After her first interview, Attia's insights on persuasion and negotiation were so helpful that Anthony put them to the test in a real-life negotiation and said, "they changed the game." So, we invited her back to go deeper into the ideas behind her book, Never Settle: Persuasion and Negotiation Skills to Get What You Want, and explore how each Enneagram type approaches one of the most important conversations we can have: asking for what we need.But, as Attia explains, negotiation isn't just something that happens across a boardroom table. It happens every day – with our spouses, our kids, our coworkers, our neighbors, and perhaps most importantly, within ourselves. Before we ever make an ask, we have to face the internal stories, emotions, fears, and assumptions that often keep us from speaking up in the first place. In this episode, we explore how different Enneagram types navigate negotiation, conflict, emotional regulation, self-advocacy, and the art of creating value without damaging relationships. We unpack why some types avoid the ask, why others over-assert, why some need more clarity around what they actually want, and how every type can grow in confidence, courage, and self-awareness. You'll learn: How emotions shape the way we ask – or don't ask – for what we need How to identify and label your emotions so they stop driving your decisions unconsciously The worst-case scenario exercise that builds resilience and inoculates you against fear What each Enneagram type brings to the negotiation table — where they shine, where they get stuck, and what to do about it A breathing technique that signals your nervous system it's safe before a high-stakes conversation You can learn more about Attia and grab her free resource for Typology listeners, which includes a breakdown of each Enneagram type's negotiation strengths, blind spots, and exercises at https://attiaqureshi.com/typology.  Never Settle: Persuasion and Negotiation Skills to Get What You Want by Attia Qureshi and John Richardson is available now wherever books are sold.  
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  Fitting In vs. Belonging: What Enneagram Nines (and the Rest of Us) Get Wrong About Connection, with Brian Boecker 07.05.2026 45мин

  Every once in a while, a conversation comes along that makes you pull out your earbuds and stare into the middle distance. This is one of those. My guest today didn't come to promote a book or launch a course. He's here because he's a good friend with hard-won wisdom — and the rare ability to articulate what's actually going on inside. Meet Brian Boecker, therapist at Restoring the Soul in Denver, Colorado, and an Enneagram Nine who has spent years doing the slow, unglamorous, profoundly important work of finding himself. We go deep on what it really means to belong versus simply fit in, why desire is so terrifying to name out loud, and how anger — when you stop running from it — turns out to be something closer to a life force than a liability. Brian is disarmingly honest about the ways he's learned to disappear, the slow work of becoming solid, and what it looks like to finally walk through the door you've been standing in front of your whole life. Whether you're a Nine or you love one, this conversation will give you a richer, more compassionate picture of what's actually going on beneath that calm surface.
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  The Buddhist Enneagram: How Mindfulness Transforms Your Personality Patterns with Susan Piver 30.04.2026 56мин

  What happens when two powerful paths—Buddhism and the Enneagram—sit down for a conversation? In this episode, Ian welcomes author and Buddhist teacher Susan Piver (The Buddhist Enneagram) to explore the overlap between these two systems. Susan's new book, The Buddhist Enneagram, offers a fresh lens on personality—not as something to fix, but as something to understand, soften, and ultimately hold with compassion. This conversation goes beyond personality labels and into something deeper: How your patterns form, why they stick, and how awareness—not willpower—is what actually creates change. If you've ever felt stuck in your reactions, overwhelmed by your emotions, or quietly convinced you're "doing life wrong," this episode offers a different path forward. Together, they unpack: How the Enneagram and Buddhism overlap (and where they challenge each other) The difference between mindfulness and awareness (and why both matter) How meditation helps you notice your reactions without being ruled by them Why trying to "fix yourself" often backfires—and what works instead How Enneagram subtypes shape conflict, connection, and relationships As always, this isn't about becoming someone else. It's about becoming more fully who you already are—with a little more grace along the way.     About Susan Piver Susan Piver is a Buddhist teacher, meditation instructor, and author of The Buddhist Enneagram. Her work bridges ancient wisdom and modern psychology, helping people cultivate compassion and awareness in everyday life. Subscribe & Follow If this episode resonates, follow the show so you don't miss future conversations on the Enneagram, relationships, and spiritual growth. Share This Episode Know someone who's deep into the Enneagram—or stuck in their patterns? Send this their way. It might be exactly what they need to hear.  
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  Courageous Conversations: How to Say What Needs to Be Said – Without Blowing It Up 23.04.2026 36мин

  Most of us think we're avoiding hard conversations because we don't know what to say. But that's not really the problem. In this episode, Ian and Anthony dive into the real reason we sidestep the conversations that matter most—and it has a lot less to do with skill and a lot more to do with what's happening inside of us. Because here's the truth: you can have the best negotiation strategy in the world, but if you don't understand the emotional dynamics underneath the conversation, you're going to be dead in the water. As part of our Courageous Conversations series, this episode serves as the emotional intelligence companion to negotiation—helping you move from avoidance to clarity, from anxiety to grounded confidence. Ian unpacks: Why we were never taught how to have hard conversations (and what we learned instead) The "fool's choice" that keeps us stuck between silence and relational fallout How the stories we tell ourselves quietly shape our emotions and reactions The three common narratives (victim, villain, helpless) that sabotage connection A simple but powerful 5-step framework to actually have the conversation What to do when things go sideways—and how to restore safety in real time Along the way, you'll discover that the goal isn't just to "say it better"—it's to show up differently. Because hard conversations don't ruin relationships. Avoiding them does. So as you listen to this episode, ask yourself: "What's one conversation you've been avoiding—and what would it look like to walk into it just a little more prepared?"   **This episode is part of our ongoing Courageous Conversations series—where we're learning how to speak honestly, navigate tension, and build stronger, more trust-filled relationships in the places that matter most.