The Messy Part

Епизоде

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  Years that Ask Questions 21.07.2026 1ч 1мин

  In this season finale, Adeline and Linda return to where Season 3 began, honoring a tradition of asking the same questions and listening for what has changed. Some answers echo who they once were. Others reveal who they are becoming. Together, they reveal that sometimes the only way to notice change is to ask the same questions.Forty episodes. Three seasons. Countless moments gathered along the way.There is something sacred about having this kind of archive. It reminds us that we are never just one version of ourselves. Always in motion, always becoming. It offers the rare chance to sit beside the people we used to be with tenderness, meeting them with curiosity instead of certainty. Looking back becomes an act of witnessing: a gentle reminder that growth is often quiet, vulnerability leaves a trace, and what once felt ordinary can, over time, become undeniable evidence of transformation. This conversation is a celebration of continuing to show up, of growing in public, and of trusting that who we are is always unfolding.Mantra #40: Returning is a form of witnessing. I offer honey to who I once was and who I am becoming. For Your Consideration: What do I notice now that I couldn’t see before?What have I outgrown that once felt essential?What practices and rituals bring me back to myself?
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  Saturn Returns: Can people change? Yes. 07.07.2026 55мин

  Be where your feet are. Life circles back to familiar moments. When those moments are shared with the same community they become invitations to tell more thorough tales, ones that include triumphs as much as pitfalls. Sometimes it may feel scary to share an experience that you weren’t proud of, or one in which you didn't respond as you would have liked. What sharing offers, are people who can see and narrate your effort and success over time. Having your efforts seen and verbalized back helps you notice the story you are telling yourself and is tangible proof of this more thorough tale. This is where lessons are born, where wisdom is formed. Deeper awareness of those around you, gives you the opportunity to notice and reflect back when they shift and change. We tend to cling to our faults and shortcomings with incredible clarity. Community holds our efforts with accuracy and care. Those around you are better archivists of your growth, than you may be.Mantra #39: I notice this time. I give myself grace and I notice small changes. I give myself permission to be witnessed. The triumphs are in the room. I can tell a kinder story.For Your Consideration: Do you notice your triumphs or just your pitfalls? What changes have you noticed in yourself or in others lately? If you haven’t noticed, ask someone around you.
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  Take your aura ring off 23.06.2026 1ч 8мин

  You can be over informed. In this episode, Adeline and Linda talk about data and how it makes them feel less than. Sometimes data about screen time, sleep habits or anything else just feels depleting. The data we receive encourages us, indirectly and directly, to optimize and constantly search for a perfect score even if it’s harmful to our well-being. Balance asks for equal attention. Harmony invites ebbs and flow, change, and giving yourself what you need. Mantra: I give myself what I need. For your consideration: Where can you find harmony?
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  Building Intimacy 08.06.2026 1ч 3мин

  Levity is ours. In this episode, Adeline and Linda define levity; levity is proof of weightlessness, levity is learned, levity is ever present; levity is change. Levity is there if you reach for it; levity offers release; levity offers pause. Levity is a muscle; levity is an exhale; levity is the liminal space. Levity exists in the midst of things; levity is gentle; levity is kind; levity protects us. Most people choose to work through hard things by laughing and that is a form of levity. Levity is sweet. Levity isn’t always visible; it requires our trust, intuition, and attention. The weight we give the things we can see we owe to the things we can’t. Invisible harm hurts as deep as a physical pain and it is worthy of acknowledging, tending to, and honoring just the same. We hope this season brings you levity.Mantra #37: Let levity in. Don’t wait to exhale.For Your Consideration: Where can you call levity in?
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  No Time for Boredom 25.05.2026 1ч 1мин

  We can clearly talk to each other about anything. In this episode, Adeline and Linda find their way to intellectualizing boredom. They spend time exploring what holds their attention, only to discover how much passion their life is filled with. Their takeaway is that boredom is information to pivot and realign. Boredom asks you to reflect on how you spend your time and what fuels your energy. The opposite of boredom is being fully engaged in your life. Take what resonates, leave the rest. Mantra #36: I remember my agency. There’s treasure in the in-between. Good things come in small. For Your Consideration: Do you spend your time living your passion? Is passion a motivating factor in your decisions?
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  Terrible Times are Temporary  11.05.2026 1ч 25мин

  People aren’t their worst moments. In this episode Adeline and Linda learn a new word together; equanimity: steadiness of the mind across circumstances. They spend the rest of the time grappling with what that looks like in practice, from the chaos of reality TV to a memoir they’re both reading. They learn there’s a distinction between finding the truth and telling the truth; verbalizing truth can offer release. They end up somewhere interesting: Grateful that their worst moments can’t be played on a loop for entertainment and with deeper empathy for what non-attachment and language can offer.Mantra #35: I can speak my truth. For Your Consideration: Who can you share your truth with? 
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  The Pursuit of Discipline 27.04.2026 1ч

  You are not a robot. In this episode Adeline and Linda unravel their idea of discipline, disconnecting it from rigidity and control. Instead of something forced or performed they began to see discipline as a relationship, one that asks for attunement, honesty, and care.They spend time exploring their natural rhythms and flows, by asking themselves what discipline has looked like for them. They discover that their definition of discipline has nothing to do with punishment. The kind of discipline they’re rejecting is one that expects you to show up no matter what. The discipline they are seeking is a more discerning one that prioritizes safety and sustainability first.Mantra #34: I can give my body what it needs, even if it’s not what I want. I listen to my body and pivot as needed. My highest form of discipline is restarting. For Your Consideration: In what ways does discipline serve you? In what ways does it harm you?
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  You Have No Shame 14.04.2026 1ч 16мин

  The body knows, the body protects, the body is always a witness. In this episode, Adeline and Linda stop beating around the bush, and finally face their college experience.(Hint: The DRAMA) They have spent years building safety and trust in their friendship. As a result, they felt safe enough to lean in and untangle something intimate and violent. They explored all the ways that trauma changes you and can show up as a shadow next to you. They affirmed for themselves and hopefully all of you that there is no shame in delayed realizations and reactions. There is no shame in not reacting as expected. Trauma can take a lifetime to uncover, verbalize or reconcile. They practiced staying gentle with all the versions of themselves that have survived. They giggled and held each other through this episode. Joy has always been medicinal. They landed somewhere soft; trauma reveals itself over time and we can choose to sit with, nourish, avoid, deny, interrogate, confront, resolve, transform, grapple with it all for as long as we want and need.  They return to the original intention of their podcast, to say things out loud to other people. We say we do hard things and here we are yet again. TW: Sexual violence is discussed in this episode.Mantra #33: My body can recover with time and community May my body hold me steady always May I stay protected as the world gets hectic I am also a warrior For Your Consideration: What are the words you do not yet have? - Audre Lorde, our bestie
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  Peaks & Valleys 30.03.2026 54мин

  When we started this journey we committed to archiving our thinking and articulating what we were doing on and off -camera. The intention being to document the messy part of podcasting, relationships, friendships, and vulnerability. So far, we’ve learned: Ease is intuition. Iterate. Show Up. Stay in Conversation. Take a creative risk. Stay vulnerable. Be teachable. Choose and stay in your lane. Stay close to what you want. Keep the plan, please. Sometimes the fruit of your labor hasn’t come yet, don’t pivot. In this episode, Adeline and Linda take a moment to pause. They notice what's changed in their inner world and they spend some time reflecting on what alignment looks like. This is a peak moment. Expect shiny objects, the fruit of your labor, deeper relationship to change, being in the same place, while being a completely different person. Valleys make way for peaks. Mantra #32: Make a plan. Keep the plan. Maintain a plan. Show up for the plan. The plan is you.  Be like water, broFor Your Consideration: What happens when you stop seeking? 
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  A lot to be mad about 16.03.2026 1ч 29мин

  Anger is our fiercest protector, yet it is often misunderstood and underexplored. In this episode, Adeline and Linda define anger and peel back its many layers, recognizing the ways anger shows up quietly. It turns out they each have different relationships to angers long after an incident has passed. They realize they relate to anger in very different ways: for one, it feels final and contained; for the other, it’s constant, shifting, and evolving. Needless to say, there’s a lot to be mad about - from work, to  the state of the world, and even at themselves. Together, they ask: what is anger trying to teach us, and what vital information and energy is it offering? Mantra #31: My anger is necessary. I am allowed to feel my anger.For Your Consideration: What is your anger trying to tell you?
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  From Coping to Care: A How to Guide 02.03.2026 51мин

  Care can be sustainable. On this episode, Adeline and Linda are still distinguishing the difference between caring and coping. They are learning to care for their communities in ways that feel supportive without consistently overextending themselves. This conversation is their persistent attempt to disrupt the endless cycle of showing up long past their capacity allows. They don’t want to turn into a pretzel AND they want their people to be well. They accept their responsibility as caregivers and know that they can’t be effective ones if it constantly leaves them empty. Sometimes you just have to say no in the short term to say yes in the long term. They ask the question: what do people owe them (hint: apparently nothing). Mantra #30: I love myself enough to say no. I love my community enough to say no. For Your Consideration: How care deprived are you? How do you practice self preservation in the midst of caring for others?
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  When No Thing Works, Spiral Upwards  17.02.2026 1ч 16мин

  Repetition is a tool. We tend to forget that we see the world through our specific experiences and those memories color our present. In this episode, Adeline and Linda return to their roots. They spend the episode orienting themselves to each other by walking through their personal histories. In Cambridge and Coney Island, wealth and need lived side by side, classmates with abundance and neighbors without homes, all existing blocks apart. As a result of their observations, they dedicated themselves to answering the questions that their younger selves had about the world. By orienting to the questions that stuck in their heart, they began to trace the fault lines. They stayed with these contradictions and in naming those gaps, they found their compass, shaping the values they hold close, the communities they build, and the labor they offer the world. Orientation is the intentional practice of returning to yourself, your history, your patterns, your memories, your inherited context, in order to understand the lens through which you see the world.Mantra #29: Reduce the gap between your actions and your words. For Your Consideration: Who are you to yourself? Who do you want to be to yourself?
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  Go back and fetch it and pass the baton 02.02.2026 1ч 7мин

  You are what has come before you. In this episode, Adeline and Linda express a desire to start traditions of their own, while holding close to the ones that feel like second nature. They anchor themselves in the question, “what do we want to hold on to?” and spend the episode exploring traditions: the mundane ones, the unintentional ones, the sacred ones. They think deeply about what they want to remember and what has already been remembered for them: by their communities, the lands they’ve touched, the keepsakes, and stories repeated. They learn it's worth the investment to research what traditions people before you chose to keep alive through practice.Mantra #28:I can create my own rituals and traditions.I am grateful for everything I've been given.I am committed to learning, sharing and teaching. For Your Consideration:What in your life would you enjoy archiving and in what medium?
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  I went all natural 19.01.2026 1ч 8мин

  Hair is care. Hair is community. It breaks and forgives. It teaches every lesson about self care and the consequences of not tending to yourself. It is something we take care of our entire lives. It demands our attention, discipline, compassion, admiration, and exploration. Our hair is not a third party. It is a living and breathing example of our health, our wellness, our desire to play, and our willingness to center ourselves. There is an intimacy we have with our hair that exists in tension with the way it is publicly perceived. It is not an uncommon experience for us to be fetishized, treated as spectacle, something to be touched or examined,often with little regard for the person it is attached to.It should be straighter It should be smaller It should be longerIt’s too voluminous  It’s too dry It’s distracting It seems like EVERYbody got an opinion, an assumption, advice, some lore about our hair that is rooted in something deeper than they admit. It’s one of the first ways the world interacts with us and determines our value and professionalism. Our ability to hide it well determined how well we were treated. From a young age we’ve been taught that our hair can speak for us and be easily misunderstood. It is a problem to be fixed. And therefore we were responsible to suppress it, control it, tame it, put out its fire no matter the impact on our sense of self. Our relationship with our hair can reveal our relationship to control. There exists a multimillion dollar industry that profits by telling us that something is wrong with our hair and that it is our responsibility to fix it only by consuming more products that have severe consequences.Despite that we are choosing To learn our hair To listen to the lessons it is trying to teach us To invest the time and community it takes to tend to it To muster up some discipline for the sake of our well being To let our hair roam free.Mantra #27: I can learn to have a healthy relationship with my hair.My hair is not something to be controlled, it is something to learn and be a student of.I can love my hair through its transformation.  For Your Consideration: What’s one kind word you want to say to your hair today?
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  Risk everything for your pleasure 05.01.2026 47мин

  We did the best we could, with the year we were given. On this episode, Adeline and Linda, forgot what 2025 felt like and dug deep to remember. (Yay! Disassociation) They considered their highs and reaffirmed the things they are certain of. They spent some time centering wins because we’re programmed to focus on what falls apart. They know the shoe will drop, the anxiety will come. They practiced looking at what’s good and getting better anyway. In that spirit they decided to dedicate their discipline to things that please their senses. Mantra #26 Seek pleasure with intention and create beautiful things at your eye level. For Your Consideration: What do you want to see in the first 6 months of this year?
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  Searching for coping skills currently giggling through the hard times 23.12.2025 53мин

  Not knowing is okay. On this episode Adeline and Linda practice learning in real time. Often not knowing something can feel embarrassing. They accept the challenge of learning in public. This episode is a testament to their commitment. They set out to have a serious conversation deciphering something hard and end up somewhere messy and playful. It was a good reminder to hold on to levity and laughter. We’re deeply committed to giggling often here at The Messy Part.Mantra #25: Laugh often Laugh at yourself Laugh when its easyLaugh when its not Laugh once a day even when you don’t want to
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  We’re all tired and refuse to do anything about it 08.12.2025 1ч 3мин

  Rest is worthwhile and stillness is as necessary as movement. Even if we do not recognize it, our bodies know how to rest. It is one of those gifts we take for granted and something we have learned to deprioritize. In this episode, Adeline and Linda take a breath and ask themselves, 'Who would we be if we were well-rested?' They accept that moving their bodies prepares them for stillness. Adeline and Linda explore the two-dimensional rest they’ve been taught. Often, rest is a reward granted after we have deemed ourselves productive enough. In fact, what’s offered after being productive is not rest, but recovery. Rest serves a deeper purpose. It keeps your mind clear, your heart calm, and your body regulated. It's the warm lights in your house, the slow morning you give yourself, the no you extend when you don’t want to be social. Rest is how you keep your capacity, how you keep an open ear to listen to your body. On the other side of rest is a cleansed spirit, joy, imagination, and calmness. May we all practice rest and remember we are worthy of resting. One way we can rest today is by leaning into a layered rest, one that doesn't have to be earned, and it’s simply ours because we exist.Mantra: Start from a rested place. We will rest well and often. For Your Consideration: What type of rest can you give yourself today?
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  Women Like Me 24.11.2025 1ч 14мин

  When women don’t speak, we suffer. Research shows that 80% of women are more likely to develop autoimmune diseases when we suppress our rage and silence ourselves. In this episode, Adeline and Linda reflect on the stories they’ve inherited about womanhood, and how often they are unlearning and (learning) what women endure. Being a woman is complicated, beautiful, filled with pain, joy, community, longing, and so much trauma. May this life and this reflection offer them the capacity and community to sit in the middle, next to other women, and on the shoulders of all the women that came before them. Sharing our lived experience with one another is what makes healing possible. They walked away from the conversation with one ask for their listeners: read the stories of other women. Archive your own. We go through so much that sometimes it feels like being a woman is terrible. We are women who have survived insurmountable trauma, but in silence we suffer more. Not sharing our experience makes someone’s hell feel new, but we know it’s not. Sharing our troubles with women makes that trouble not trouble anymore. We have the difficult experience of living on this earth longer, and we live longer because we talk to each other. The most beautiful part of womanhood is our ability to build expansive communities, with range and a deep well of knowledge. To be a woman is to be held by other women. So, archive the hard days, archive the easy days. Mantra: Sisterhood is medicine. For Your Consideration: In what ways has guarding yourself protected you and when has it hurt you? Does it still protect you?
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  How we gon' be together? 10.11.2025 1ч 17мин

  Nothing that is worthwhile is done alone, we need each other. In this episode, Adeline and Linda reflect on what it means to practice relational and personal repair. If we are learning not to give up on people too quickly, perhaps we must also learn not to give up on people too soon. They talk through what skills they need to be in relationship. We owe ourselves a life of authenticity and the labor of learning what that authenticity feels like. Sometimes that requires learning about boundaries and feeling empowered to name and honor them in ways that feel natural. They agree that to be in relationship is to accept the risk of being hurt, and it is how we respond in those moments that magnify our relational skills. Sometimes repair is possible and transformative. We only learn that if we name the hurt and stay in conversation. How can harm be transformed to build stronger and deeper relationships, is the question they are interrogating. Learning to be in community is messy at best, may we all learn it well. Mantra #22: I am allowed to practice I am allowed to learn and change my mind as often as I need to.For Your Consideration: How do we stay in relationship when hurt is inevitable?
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  won't you celebrate with me what I have shaped into a kind of life? I had no model. 27.10.2025 52мин

  We are taught to focus on what needs to improve instead of cherishing what feels good. On the season opener, Adeline and Linda decide that celebration lives in the small moments. They sit with how awkward it can feel to be seen and honored by themselves and their communities. They grapple with that discomfort, and determine that it’s still worthwhile to learn how they want to be celebrated. Gratitude is a dance worth learning. Mantra #21: May your small wins fill you deeply. I am worthy of celebration.For Your Consideration: How do you like to be celebrated? Do you know how to celebrate yourself?