My Momma Told Me

Bölümler

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  Alien News Is a Decoy (with Malcolm Barrett) 15.09.2026 1sa 18dk

  Is the government dangling confirmation of human contact with aliens to divert our attention from more pressing matters? Langston and David are joined by actor Malcolm Barrett to discuss how convenient the timing of alien news is for those in power as well as the possibility of extraterrestrial life at large. 0:00 Cold open: The lore of Yakub 2:59 Have you ever been dunked on? 6:38 The art of the scam 9:38 Intro: The term “wifey” 21:30 Pop-a-shot at home 28:31 David is anti-whimsy 40:18 Conspiracy theory: They’re trying to distract us with aliens 48:01 Coolest American presidents 56:52 Would aliens even want to meet us? 1:01:45 Asian people with non-American accents 1:07:57 Are we too free here? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  White People Like to OWN Their Pets (with Langston and David) 08.09.2026 1sa

  Is there something deeper and darker behind the way some white folks relate with animals? Langston and David sit down to respond to listeners’ voicemails and emails, including one about the power dynamics between white people and their pets. 0:00 Avatar is mid 4:34 Doing bits with loved ones 9:39 Langston acquires a new nickname! 13:11 Voicemail 1: The Love Island men receive help 21:35 Voicemail 2: Investi-gay-tion 40:39 Email: White people and their pets Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  The Lettuce-Diarrhea Outbreak is a Psyop (with Orlando Jones) 01.09.2026 1sa 5dk

  Was the panic around lettuce-related explosive diarrhea fomented to make us turn on immigrant farmers? Langston and David are joined by actor/comedian Orlando Jones to answer four (4) voicemails sent in by the Lil’ Mommas, including one about the recent iceberg lettuce scare. 0:00 Intro: Bad slave dealerships 9:08 Autobiographies 16:14 Good Black stereotypes and demon possession 25:32 Voicemail 1: Biracial eugenics 35:02 Voicemail 2: Langston’s idiosyncratic noises 37:46 Voicemail 3: Don’t trust school tests 50:42 Voicemail 4: Is the lettuce-diarrhea parasite for real? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  They WANT the World to Burn (with Mariah Smith) 25.08.2026 1sa 7dk

  Are they leading our species to extinction because we’re having too much fun? Langston and David sit down with the ageless Mariah Smith to discuss the end of the world as we know it and how to cope with that. 0:00 Cold open: Sports vs theater 3:22 Intro: Aspirations and checkpoints 11:01 How old is Mariah? 15:20 Conspiracy: They want the planet to die 21:53 Mariah’s favorite is…Ed Sheeran? 31:10 Getting cryogenically frozen 38:45 How long do we have as a species? 42:38 (Hypothetical) deceitfulness as a way of life 49:38 Voicemail: Civilization dies in comfort 55:23 Compulsive lying for sport, reprised Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  Pokémon GO Is Data-Mining You (with Brian Robert Jones) 18.08.2026 1sa 36dk

  Are shady powers behind the once-viral mobile game Pokémon GO? Langston and David are joined by guitarist and former Pokémon GO player Brian Robert Jones to discuss the possibility that the popular game was harnessed for wicked purposes. 0:00 Cold open: Steppers, criminality, racial slurs 6:48 Intro: David’s treasonous ways 10:57 Smokey Robinson trying to pronounce Chanukah 20:10 Jar Jar Binks (!!!) 28:25 Conspiracy: Pokémon GO was a CIA plant 44:50 Slavery was the big lick 51:57 Fandom, fame, fitness, fishing 1:13:31 Homemade wine and new cocktail technology 1:19:30 Boundaries between teachers and students 1:25:34 Being tracked by the Apple Watch Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  What Does Leviathan Meat Taste Like? (with Kiry Shabazz) 11.08.2026 1sa 25dk

  Has the biblical serpent Leviathan risen? Langston and David are joined by comedian Kiry Shabazz to discuss the scenarios in which we can eat, or be eaten by, the mythical sea beast. Then, they answer a listener voicemail about Terrence Howard’s porn habits. 0:00 Using the car back-up camera 7:10 Rappers acting as themselves in movies 12:20 Why the American accents in ‘The Odyssey’? 18:30 Denzel as a gateway into Shakespeare 27:45 Intro: The new soundboard 34:20 Smokey Robinson promoting (?) the gang life 37:15 The whimsical Baltimore accent 42:45 British rap…nah 49:00 What happened to white music culture? 54:15 Conspiracy: The Leviathan has risen 1:02:40 Do you worry that the Leviathan will eat you? 1:04:55 The unbelievable Langston car accident story 1:11:43 Voicemail: Terrence Howard watches incest porn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  We Love a...No-Necked Raccoon? (with Bresha Webb) 04.08.2026 1sa 11dk

  What does it say about America that we're obsessed with a deformed raccoon? Langston and David are joined by the brilliant actress Bresha Webb (Run the World, Marlon) to discuss Jimothy the internet sensation as well as answer a voicemail about the lost artifacts of slavery. 0:00 Cold open: Ranch and barbecue sauce 2:27 Jimothy the raccoon 8:40 The struggles of a no-neck existence 17:38 Acting roles bleeding into life 31:27 Why’d they name Jimothy slave-style??? 35:48 Bigfoot, aliens, and Asian neighbors 52:11 Listener voicemail: Where are all the slave ships? 1:00:26 White people practicing whips Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  Are we already eating PEOPLE? (with Langston and David) 28.07.2026 1sa 12dk

  Do cannibals live amongst us? Could we be unwittingly partaking in such a horrifying act? Langston and David explore the possibility of human meat consumption in our present and/or future. Then, they respond to an email about Big Soda potentially suppressing upstart beverage brands. 0:00 Cold open: Nicknames as an adult 11:05 Are we post-Julia Roberts as a society? 15:32 Conspiracy theory: We are already cannibals 32:34 A brief Jackie Chan detour 37:46 How would eating people even work? 43:25 How are the men on Love Island not hard all the time? 53:33 Listener email: Tropical Fantasy rumor Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  My Momma Told Me LIVE in Los Angeles (with Deante’ Kyle & Big Ice Cup Kat, Maud Arnold) 21.07.2026 1sa 43dk

  Originally performed and taped at The Mint in Los Angeles, California on June 24, 2026. 0:00 Intro (Langston’s pants) 8:15 Is Adrien Broner okay? 15:45 Guests: Deante’ Kyle and Big Ice Cup Kat from the ‘Grits and Eggs Podcast’ 19:15 ‘The Blackest’ game 40:30 The ‘Quid Pro Quo Ho’ game 1:01:50 The “Lil’ Momma Love Connection’ game with Maud Arnold 1:35:55 Q&A and outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  Neuralink Chips with the Dip (w/ Del Amo Manny) 14.07.2026 1sa 28dk

  Has Elon Musk succumbed to his own creation, the Neuralink? Langston and David sit down with comedian Del Amo Manny to explore how this terrifying technology has already permeated the universe as well as answer a listener voicemail about putting purses on the floor. 0:00 Cold open: Juneteenth and oil men 14:31 Early Facebook shenanigans 25:19 Conspiracy: All of Elon Musk’s erratic behavior can be explained by the Neuralink chip 55:30 Gods shouldn’t be buff / what if Jesus was fat? 1:07:50 #LetLangstonDance 1:09:27 Listener voicemail: Don’t put your purse on the floor, it’ll make you go broke Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  Old MacSilicon Had a Data Farm (w/ Will Miles) 07.07.2026 1sa 14dk

  Are social media trends just a thinly veiled strategy to collect data on us? Comedian and friend of the show Will Miles joins Langston and David to discuss that possibility, as well as answer a voicemail about how antidepressants are more prevalent among white people. 0:00 Robots kicking children in China 8:45 Conspiracy: Every social media trend is a psy-op 36:00 Racial slurs and their rules 41:50 What’s wrong with industry plants? 56:10 Voicemail: White people know secrets about SSRIs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  Fish Dreams and Nightmares (with Mandal) 30.06.2026 1sa 4dk

  Does having a dream about a fish presage pregnancy? If so, for whom? Langston and David sit down with hilarious friend of the show Mandal to discuss the powers that our dreams may carry. Then, they listen to a voicemail about whether dinosaurs really went extinct...or simply evolved. Finally, they explore the veracity of Steve Harvey's hair during his early career. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  Coach Dr. Umar’s School of Black Excellence (with Langston and David) 23.06.2026 1sa

  Could Dr. Umar’s dream of establishing and operating an alternative school for black children actually come to life? Langston and David get together (in David's house!) to react to new video evidence — straight from the horse’s mouth. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  All R&B Singers Are Scumbags (the Last Episode...For Now.) 16.06.2026 56dk

  We've got our tinfoil shower caps on, and we're answering your questions with the one and only Will Ferrell! Psyche. But it is our last episode with iHeart.  Langston and David take your pre-recorded calls to answer the most important questions of the day: Does being a good R&B singer make you a scumbag? Could killing your sex drive be a good thing? It's been a fun ride. Hang around to hear what's next. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  The Interracial Agenda in Commercials (with Yassir & Isaiah Lester) 11.06.2026 1sa 15dk

  Is there a mixed-race agenda in commercials? Langston and David chat with comedy sibling duo Yassir & Isaiah Lester (The Gutter) to discuss this conspiracy theory. They take a deep dive into the infamous Honey Nut Cheerios commercial that received tons of backlash on YouTube, plus, what's up with Biktarvy commercials and the lonely woman in the library? David does a rundown on the comments and it's devastating. For some reason people love the music beat. This episode gets out of hand and might be our most controversial one yet. CALL US & LEAVE A MESSAGE! 844-LIL-MOMS aka 844-545-6667 **JOIN US AT "START THE STEAL 2024" IN THE FOLLOWING CITIES** SAN FRANCISCO, CA - 11/17 - Cobb's Comedy Club DENVER, CO - 12/5 Cervantes' Masterpiece SEATTLE, WA - 12/12 - Laugh's Comedy Club PORTLAND, OR - 12/15 - Helium Comedy Club Tickets can be purchased at My Momma Told Me's Linktree LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON PATREON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mymommatoldmepod/ YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm1wMf8iYG-imuTwqje2PNg TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@mymommatoldmepod?lang=en MY MOMMA TOLD ME MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Visit https://mymommatoldme.merchtable.com/ FOLLOW LANGSTON KERMAN ON ALL PLATFORMS: @langstonkerman FOLLOW DAVID GBORIE ON INSTAGRAM: @coolguyjokes87 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  Vegetables Don't Exist (with Langston and David) 09.06.2026 1sa 18dk

  Bert and Ernie, ummm sorry, Langston and David get together to answer your voicemails. What happened to all the Black puppets, and how did puppets infiltrate the magic castle?! Are vegetables even real? Plus, what's next for Langston and David? FOLLOW + SUBSCRIBE ON ALL PLATFORMS FOR ALL HILARIOUS AND PROBLEMATIC TALKS: INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mymommatoldmepod/ YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm1wMf8iYG-imuTwqje2PNg TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@mymommatoldmepod?lang=en MY MOMMA TOLD ME MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Visit mymommatoldme.merchcentral.com Bye, bitch!  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  Tyler Perry is the Devil!! (with Sydnee Washington) RERUN 04.06.2026 1sa 8dk

  Is Tyler Perry REALLY the devil?! Langston and David sit down in studio with Sydnee Washington (Mess on Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network) about this conspiracy theory. Not the literal devil, but is he holding back the Black community with his films and plays? Is he portraying Black people in a negative light? Typecasting, colorism, avoiding union rules, and more are discussed in this episode. Plus, what's up with Lee Daniels?  CALL US & LEAVE A MESSAGE! 844-LIL-MOMS aka 844-545-6667 **JOIN US AT "START THE STEAL 2024" IN THE FOLLOWING CITIES** DENVER, CO - 12/5 Cervantes' Masterpiece SEATTLE, WA - 12/12 - Laugh's Comedy Club PORTLAND, OR - 12/15 - Helium Comedy Club Tickets can be purchased at My Momma Told Me's Linktree LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON PATREON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mymommatoldmepod/ YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm1wMf8iYG-imuTwqje2PNg TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@mymommatoldmepod?lang=en MY MOMMA TOLD ME MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Visit https://mymommatoldme.merchtable.com/ FOLLOW LANGSTON KERMAN ON ALL PLATFORMS: @langstonkerman FOLLOW DAVID GBORIE ON INSTAGRAM: @coolguyjokes87 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  Robots are Evil (with Janelle James) 02.06.2026 1sa 11dk

  Janelle James is here to get to the root of robot evil. Gentle with the speculum, we're getting to the truth of other big questions. Did cocaine condemn the crack addict? What do you know about the majesty of nature? Can you even look at a lake, bro? We're taking our shirts off at Ocean Prime, smoking a joint, chain or no chain, we're titties to the sun.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  Kids See Ghosts and Also Predators (with Kid Fury) (1) 28.05.2026 51dk

  Are all child stars victims? Langston and David talk with Kid Fury (The Read) about this tragic conspiracy theory. They talk about the infamous sexual assault rumor that roamed the hallways of every middle school about Li'l Bow Wow. How could something so heinous spread so fast and make this rapper call a radio station from Paris? Is this just jealousy and emotional manipulation? Plus, the guys discuss Lil Wayne's virginity story and a disturbing list of other stars who have been exploited by the entertainment industry. You probably won't feel great after this episode, but go find Ginuwine's 106th and Park clip for a good time. FOLLOW + SUBSCRIBE ON ALL PLATFORMS FOR ALL HILARIOUS AND PROBLEMATIC TALKS: INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mymommatoldmepod/ YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm1wMf8iYG-imuTwqje2PNg TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@mymommatoldmepod?lang=en MY MOMMA TOLD ME MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Visit mymommatoldme.merchcentral.com Bye, bitch!  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  Does Brushing Your Teeth Make You Gay (with Bob the Drag Queen) 26.05.2026 1sa 22dk

  Bob the Drag Queen makes his debut on the podcast and delivers an extra-large episode. Together, with Langston and David they ask the biggest questions: Who is the hottest person in hip hop? What's the best accent? Better to go to a bad school and have a good home life, or a good school and a bad home life? Who would win in a foot race, Bob, Monét X Change, or Usain Bolt? Should you see your bestie fully nude? SEND US YOUR BLACK CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND DROPS TO: [email protected] LEAVE US A VOICE MESSAGE AT 844-LIL-MOMS (844-545-6667) LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON PATREON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mymommatoldmepod/ YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm1wMf8iYG-imuTwqje2PNg TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@mymommatoldmepod?lang=en MY MOMMA TOLD ME MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Visit https://mymommatoldme.merchtable.com/ FOLLOW LANGSTON KERMAN ON ALL PLATFORMS: @langstonkerman FOLLOW DAVID GBORIE ON INSTAGRAM: @coolguyjokes87 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices