Talk About Gay Sex TAGSPODCAST

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  Too Old for the Sauna? Gay Ageism, Sexual Energy & the 55+ Insult EP 792 15.09.2026 52dk

  A new gay sauna is raising eyebrows with a policy excluding men over 55—and suggesting they visit its “more relaxed” sister location instead. But who decided turning 55 means you’re ready to slow down? In this episode, the hosts unpack the blatant ageism behind the policy and question why gay culture continues to treat youth as the ultimate currency. Steve V—55, energized and in the best shape of his life—has a few things to say about the assumption that older gay men can’t keep up. They also explore the sauna’s unusual interactive features, including a game involving virtual avatars, and ask whether this represents the future of gay cruising—or another attempt to manufacture connection through technology.
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  Drunk, Glamorous and Full of Stories with Maria Van Cartier EP 791 10.09.2026 58dk

  Maria Van Cartier has stories—and she’s not holding back. The writer, producer, storyteller, and NYC queer nightlife fixture joins us for a funny, candid, and gloriously unfiltered conversation about the people, places, and unforgettable nights that shaped her. From chosen family and Black and Brown queer spaces to aging unapologetically and preserving the stories our community can’t afford to lose, Maria reminds us why queer history is personal—and why somebody has to tell it. We also get into her podcast, Remember the Time, where Maria keeps those memories, personalities, and legendary moments alive.
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  Drawn to Desire: Inside the Erotic Art of Miguel Angel Reyes EP 790 03.09.2026 1sa

  Acclaimed erotic artist Miguel Angel Reyes joins Host Steve V and Co-host Teddy Alexis for an intimate conversation about capturing the beauty, sexuality, and vulnerability of the male form—and what happens when the artist turns his eye on our very own Steve V. Miguel shares how his life, identity, and experiences influence his distinctive work, why erotic art remains both powerful and provocative, and how he creates trust with the men who become his subjects. We explore the difference between being naked and truly being seen, the relationship between artist and muse, and why queer erotic art is about far more than sex. Plus, Steve V reveals what it was like to be drawn by Miguel, how it felt to see himself interpreted through another man’s artistic vision, and whether the finished portrait captured something deeper than his physical appearance.
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  Where Have All the Tops Gone? The Truth About Gay Sex’s Biggest “Shortage EP 789 01.09.2026 56dk

  Is the gay community really running out of tops—or have our expectations become so specific that the tops who are available no longer seem to count? In this episode of TAGSPODCAST, Host Steve V and Co-host Kodi Maurice Doggette investigate the supposedly very real “top shortage.” New research suggests younger gay men are far more likely to identify as bottoms, while the percentage of self-identified tops increases among men in their thirties and forties. Does sexual preference naturally evolve as we age, or are younger men simply more comfortable admitting that they enjoy bottoming? The conversation also turns to the pressure placed on tops during hookups. They are expected to get hard immediately, stay hard, take control, perform confidently, last the appropriate amount of time, and somehow satisfy every fantasy presented to them. When nerves, chemistry, condoms, unfamiliar surroundings, or performance anxiety enter the picture, even someone who enjoys topping can suddenly find himself trapped inside his own head. Steve and Kodi discuss why a man may be able to top comfortably with a trusted partner but struggle during a casual encounter, whether connection makes us better lovers, and why losing an erection should not automatically mean that the sex—or the top—has failed. Plus: Are gay men truly looking for tops, or are they searching for a very particular fantasy involving age, masculinity, dominance, body type, penis size, proximity, availability, and the ability to host? Are apps creating a shortage—or merely making our increasingly narrow preferences more visible? The guys also explore how firmly identifying as a top, bottom, or vers can turn a sexual preference into a demanding identity. Perhaps the solution is not producing more tops, but loosening the labels, communicating more honestly, and remembering that penetration is only one part of great gay sex.
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  Sorry, Just Seeing This: Why Gay Men Ghost on Grindr EP 788 27.08.2026 1sa

  EP 788 Show Notes “Not on here much.” “Maybe later.” “I’ll let you know.” “Sorry, just seeing this.” Steve and Kodi return for another round of “Translate That Grindr Bio,” decoding the vague phrases, mixed signals and disappearing acts gay men encounter on hookup and dating apps. Inspired by a viral discussion about Grindr ghosting habits, they ask why so many of us open the app, initiate conversations, exchange photos, make tentative plans—and then suddenly vanish. Are we actually looking to meet someone, or do we sometimes just want attention, validation and the reassurance that somebody still finds us desirable? Has Grindr become less of a hookup app and more like another social platform we compulsively check when we’re bored, lonely or curious? Host Steve V and Co-host Kodi Maurice Doggette also debate what genuinely counts as ghosting. Is ignoring an unsolicited “hey” the same as disappearing after making plans? Does someone owe you an explanation after a few messages? And why do the people who complain most loudly about being ghosted often participate in the same behavior?
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  What Grindr Bios Really Mean: Sex, Vibes and the Search for Connection EP 787 25.08.2026 56dk

  EP 787 Show Notes “Looking for friends, open to more.” “Not on here much.” “No expectations, just vibes.” We’ve all seen these phrases—but what do they actually mean? Host Steve V and Co-host Kodi Maurice Doggette close out summer with a hilarious game of “Translate That Grindr Bio,” decoding the vague, contradictory and sometimes brutally honest language gay men use on dating and hookup apps. The conversation then turns to the viral Gay No Sex Weekend and newer apps like Goose that promise connection without the immediate pressure of sex. Are gay men truly craving less sex—or are we simply looking for better communication, less judgment and more room for relationships to develop naturally? Steve and Kodi debate whether sex really prevents meaningful connection, why gay men often pretend they’re above the apps they’re actively using, and whether a hookup can become a friendship, romance or something unexpectedly deeper. Plus: the eternal mystery of why nobody on Grindr can host.
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  Why Are We Still So Horny for Heated Rivalry? EP 786 20.08.2026 1sa

  Why are gay men, straight women and even lesbians collectively losing their minds over Heated Rivalry? On this episode of TAGSPODCAST, Steve V. and Co-host Kodi Maurice Doggette unpack the cultural phenomenon after Steve sees the hilarious and surprisingly fresh Heated Rivalry: The Unauthorized Musical. From the theater audience packed with women and gay men to fans subscribing to erotic Shane-and-Ilya artwork on Patreon, this obsession has clearly moved far beyond one television series. The hosts explore why male-male romance appeals to so many different audiences, whether women and gay men are now sharing a collective gaze, and where appreciation of queer sexuality can cross into fetishization. Plus, Rosie O’Donnell guest-hosts Jimmy Kimmel Live! and reveals that actor Sydney James Harcourt may have replaced Tom Cruise as her latest celebrity crush. Can our fantasies sometimes fall outside the boundaries of our stated sexual orientation—and do they really need to mean anything more than someone being incredibly hot?
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  Have We All Benched Someone? Dating, Backup Boys and the Grass-Is-Greener Trap EP 785 18.08.2026 56dk

  We’ve all heard about ghosting, breadcrumbing and situationships—but what about benching? This week, Steve V., Jeremy and Kodi take on the dating trend where someone keeps another person interested without ever fully committing or letting them go. But instead of simply calling out bad behavior, the guys turn the question back on themselves: Haven’t we all done some version of this? Maybe you knew a guy wasn’t quite right for you but kept seeing him anyway. Maybe you didn’t want to hurt his feelings. Maybe the sex was good. Maybe you liked the attention. Or maybe you were secretly wondering if someone hotter, better—or simply more—was still out there. The conversation gets personal as the guys explore being on both sides of the bench, the temptation to keep our options open, conflict avoidance, dating-app culture and our constant belief that the grass might be greener with the next guy.
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  Gay Trauma, Gay Healing: Dan Werner on Breaking the Patterns We Carry EP 784 13.08.2026 1sa

  Featuring special guest Dan Werner What happens when the things we learned to survive as gay men follow us into adulthood—into our relationships, our sex lives, our self-esteem, and the ways we connect with other men? This week on Talk About Gay Sex, Host Steve V and Co-host Kodi Maurice Doggette are joined by Dan Werner for a deeper conversation about gay trauma and the emotional patterns many queer men carry long after coming out. We explore how experiences like shame, rejection, bullying, hiding our sexuality, feeling different, and learning to seek validation can continue to shape us—even when we think we've moved beyond them. Dan shares insights from his work around trauma, healing, and understanding the behaviors we develop to protect ourselves. The conversation also looks at how unresolved wounds can show up in dating, intimacy, sex, attachment, body image, relationships, and the search for connection—and why recognizing those patterns doesn't mean eliminating desire or rewriting our past. It can mean finally understanding ourselves with a little more clarity. Plus, Steve and Kodi bring their own experiences to the discussion: the survival mechanisms we developed as younger gay men, the ways they've served us, and the moment when those same defenses may stop serving the lives we want today.
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  The Last Days of Hot Gay Summer EP 783 11.08.2026 1sa 9dk

  Summer may be winding down, but Leo Season is still demanding our attention—and with our very own Leo, Lincoln, in the house, we’re asking the important question: Was your Hot Gay Summer actually hot? This week, Host Steve V and Co-hosts Lincoln and Kodi Maurice Doggette get into summer sexuality, confidence, flirting, hookups and that intoxicating feeling of being seen and desired. Does summer actually make us hornier—or are we simply showing more skin, going out more and giving ourselves permission to be a little bolder? We turn to Lincoln for some Leo insight as we explore the connection between sex and attention: Do we want the hookup, or do we sometimes just want the validation of knowing someone wants us? And how much of gay sexuality is tied to being seen—at the gym, on the dance floor, on the apps, at the beach or through the perfectly timed thirst trap? Plus, we examine the pressure of having a “Hot Gay Summer.” Did we have enough sex? Go out enough? Travel enough? Look good enough? And when summer starts fading and the parties slow down, what are we actually left wanting—more sex, romance, connection, attention…or simply the confidence to feel sexy even when nobody is watching? It’s Leo Season. The shirts are still off. Summer isn’t quite over. And there may still be time for one last bad decision.
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  Native, Gay and Unfiltered: Jon Reclaims His Story EP 782 06.08.2026 1sa 1dk

  Special guest Jon returns to TAGS to continue the powerful conversation he began with us in 2023—but this time, we are meeting even more of the man behind the story. Jon introduces his new podcast, Why Not?!, a deeply personal project exploring his life, family history and the experiences that have shaped him. He opens up about his Native American heritage, his connection to culture and community, and what it means to navigate the world at the intersection of Native and gay identity. We also revisit Jon’s journey with HIV, including the lasting impact of his previous misdiagnosis, the importance of advocating for yourself within the healthcare system, and the realities of finding informed, affirming care and support while living in Oklahoma. Together, we discuss chosen family, cultural belonging, healthcare access, stigma and the power of telling your own story before someone else tells it for you. Plus, Jon reveals why this is the right moment to launch his podcast, what he hopes listeners will take from his experiences and the parts of his story he is finally ready to share.
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  We Need Our Sexual Mistakes: Gregg Araki, Gen Z and; America’s Fear of Sex EP 781 04.08.2026 1sa 3dk

  Inspired by Gregg Araki’s provocative new film, I Want Your Sex, Steve V. and his co-hosts explore whether we have become too afraid of getting sex, love and relationships wrong. Araki argues that bad dates, awkward sex, painful breakups and broken hearts are not simply experiences to avoid—they are often how we learn who we are, what we desire and what we will no longer accept. But in a culture where every flirtation can be screenshotted, every mistake publicly judged and every uncomfortable feeling labeled a red flag, are younger generations becoming too cautious to take genuine emotional and sexual risks? The hosts look back at their own questionable choices and necessary mistakes, from confusing chemistry with compatibility to chasing unavailable men, staying too long and discovering that what turns us on does not always nourish us. Plus, a larger conversation about the current state of queer cinema: Has LGBTQ+ representation become too polished, respectable and sexless? Where are the messy, dangerous and unapologetically horny queer stories that defined filmmakers like Araki in the 1990s? The episode also asks whether America is entering another puritanical era—a country saturated with sexual imagery while remaining deeply uncomfortable with actual pleasure, queer desire and people who refuse to apologize for their bodies.
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  Level Up Your Love Life: Are Your Dating Skills Ready for a Relationship? Featuring Amari Ice EP 780 30.07.2026 56dk

  This week, Steve V. and Kodi welcome special guest **Amari Ice—dating coach, matchmaker, hypnotherapist, bestselling author, and the “Prince of Hearts”—**for an honest and insightful conversation about what gay men may be getting wrong about dating and relationships. Many of us say we want lasting love—but have we actually developed the skills required to create and sustain it? Amari explains why finding a partner involves more than attraction, chemistry, a great profile, or waiting for the universe to deliver “the one.” The conversation explores the difference between being ready to date and simply being tired of being single, the patterns that may be keeping us disconnected, and why romantic success requires self-awareness, intentionality, communication, and practice. The hosts also get personal about dating expectations, emotional availability, attraction versus compatibility, and whether we sometimes reject promising connections before giving them an opportunity to grow. Plus, the episode asks an important question: Are gay men searching for the wrong person—or dating with the wrong set of skills?
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  Feral Summer: Naked Beaches, Cruising & Gay Men Gone Wild EP 779 28.07.2026 50dk

  Summer does something to gay men. The shirts come off, the shorts get shorter, the gym gets busier—and suddenly everyone seems ready to explore something a little wilder. In this episode, Steve V. and Co-host Kodi ask why warmer weather seems to awaken our most adventurous, sexual, and uninhibited selves. From getting naked at the beach and cruising through Central Park’s Ramble to sex parties, outdoor flirting, body confidence, and the pressure to create an unforgettable summer, are we feeling genuinely liberated—or simply trying to prove we are still desirable? The hosts discuss the queer spaces that allow us to explore, the difference between curiosity and validation, and why taking off our clothes can feel both freeing and terrifying. They also consider what people are really searching for when they enter a cruising area, a naked beach, or a sex party: sex, connection, attention, belonging—or permission to become a different version of themselves. Plus, can you have a feral summer without the “perfect” summer body? And how do you know whether an experience is something you truly desire or something you feel pressured to try because everyone else appears to be doing it? It’s hot, honest, uninhibited—and possibly clothing optional.
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  Are You Ready for Love—or Just Repeating the Pattern? feat. Relationship Coach Lonay EP 778 23.07.2026 1sa 2dk

  Why do we keep attracting emotionally unavailable men—even when we swear we know better? This week, special guest Lonay of Radiant Hearts Journey joins Steve V. and Co-host Teddy Alexis for an honest conversation about dating patterns, emotional availability, past trauma, and the subconscious beliefs that may be shaping our romantic lives. The group explores what it really means to be “ready” for a relationship when all of us are still works in progress. How much healing should happen before we begin dating? When should we offer someone grace for their wounds—and when are we simply ignoring another red flag? Lonay also introduces us to Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) and explains how hypnotherapy may help uncover the deeper beliefs behind the partners we choose, the behavior we tolerate, and the stories we continue telling ourselves about love.
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  Can a Sex Club Heal You? Gay Men, Shame & Sexual Freedom EP 777 21.07.2026 51dk

  What if visiting a sex club offers gay men more than a hot night out? Inspired by a therapist’s argument that queer sexual spaces can provide freedom from shame, greater body confidence and a powerful sense of belonging, Steve V, Jeremy and Kodi explore whether sex clubs, bathhouses and darkrooms can actually be healing spaces for gay men. The hosts discuss the freedom of entering a room where heterosexual rules no longer apply, whether getting naked removes—or merely exposes—our judgments about age and body type, and why anonymous sex can sometimes feel surprisingly intimate. But can we mistake sexual validation for genuine healing? The conversation also examines loneliness, rejection, emotional avoidance and the importance of recognizing whether we are pursuing sex because we truly desire it—or because we need someone else to make us feel desirable.
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  Is Monogamy Over? Polyamory, Gay Content and; Dating App Burnout with Oleg Kudymov EP 776 16.07.2026 1sa 1dk

  Life coach and content creator Oleg Kudymov joins the men of TAGS for a fun, candid, and occasionally provocative conversation about how gay men are connecting—and disconnecting—in modern life. Are polyamorous relationships becoming the future, or are we simply getting more honest about wanting different things from love and sex? Oleg shares his perspective as the guys explore jealousy, communication, commitment, and whether one person can realistically fulfill all of our emotional and sexual needs. The conversation also turns to gay content online. Is it merely entertainment, or can visibility itself be a form of activism? They discuss authenticity, representation, thirst traps, and the pressure creators face to educate their audiences while still having fun. Plus, are dating apps actually helping us find connection—or leaving us feeling more isolated, disposable, and exhausted? The guys unpack app burnout, endless scrolling, making connections in real life, and what it takes to turn an online match into something meaningful. It’s an energetic episode about relationships, visibility, sex, and finding genuine connection in an increasingly digital world.
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  Sex, Reinvention & Starting Over at 50: Remembering Dale Savage EP 775 14.07.2026 59dk

  Adult performer Dale Savage didn’t begin his career until the age of 50, proving that desire, sexual discovery and reinvention don’t come with an expiration date. Following the news of his death at 62, Steve, Lincoln and Kodi reflect on his unexpected second act and the courage it takes to pursue a dream later in life. The conversation expands into what aging can look like for gay men when we stop following society’s timeline. Can our fifties, sixties and beyond become our most sexually confident and creatively fulfilling years? The hosts discuss embracing changing bodies, releasing shame, exploring fantasies and refusing to become invisible simply because we are getting older.
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  Who Taught Us Not to Be Ashamed? EP 774 09.07.2026 59dk

  Robin Byrd, Madonna, Confessions, and the sex-positive baton TAGS has carried for 8+ years On EP 774 of TAGSPODCAST, Host Steve V. and Co-host Kodi Maurice Doggette look at the people, pop icons, late-night pioneers, and queer spaces that helped gay men talk about sex without shame. After watching the Robin Byrd documentary, Steve reflects on Byrd’s impact as more than a late-night cable personality. She created space for adult performers, queer people, nightlife figures, outsiders, and honest conversations about sex at a time when mainstream culture often pushed those voices aside. Steve also shares his personal connection to Byrd after renting her Fire Island house years ago. The conversation expands into Madonna and the release of Confessions II, exploring how Madonna’s long relationship with gay men, AIDS awareness, sexual freedom, dance-floor culture, and chosen family helped many queer people feel seen. For Steve, Madonna made sex feel powerful, expressive, and less shameful. Steve and Kodi also reflect on TAGSPODCAST’s own role in carrying the sex-positive baton for the past 8+ years. Through conversations about kink, HIV, PrEP, hookups, love, shame, aging, bodies, open relationships, and desire, the show has become a place for honest gay sex talk — and along the way, the hosts have surprised themselves with how much they’ve shared and learned. This episode asks: Who gave us permission to talk about sex? Was it Robin Byrd? Madonna? Porn? Bars? Fire Island? The Eagle? A drag queen? An older gay man? A friend? A hookup? Or the dance floor itself?
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  Another Gay App Promising Connection? Honk If You’re Suspicious. EP 773 07.07.2026 50dk

  On this episode of Talk About Gay Sex, Steve V and the hosts take on the buzzy new gay app GOOSE, a platform being marketed as a more social, anti-algorithm alternative to the usual hookup and dating apps. But after reports surfaced alleging that some of the accounts promoting the app may have been AI-generated or otherwise inauthentic, the hosts ask the obvious question: are gay men being sold “community” through fantasy, exclusivity, and possibly fake hot guys? The conversation gets cynical, funny, and very real as the hosts unpack why so many new apps promise deeper connection while still leaning on the same old gay marketing tricks: hot bodies, invite-only access, curated status, and the suggestion that the “right” boys are already inside. Is this innovation, or just another beautifully branded attempt to monetize gay loneliness? The hosts also explore the growing shift away from app fatigue and toward real-life meetup culture: gay dinner groups, activity-based gatherings, queer social clubs, sex-positive spaces, and the desire to meet people in rooms instead of grids. But they also push back on the idea that hookups are the problem. Sex can be connection. The issue isn’t desire — it’s dishonesty, manipulation, and the way tech keeps trying to package intimacy as a product.