Masks Off: Inner Freedom For People-Pleasers and Perfectionists

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  Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop: Why You Can’t Relax When Life Is Good 17.09.2026 46dk

  Have you ever noticed that the moment life feels calm, your mind starts looking for what could go wrong?Your kids are okay. Your health is okay. Nothing needs fixing. And yet instead of relaxing, you find yourself waiting for the other shoe to drop.In this episode of Masks Off: Inner Freedom for People Pleasers and Perfectionists, I explore why some of us struggle to trust peace—and why hypervigilance can become one of the Inner Controller’s favorite ways of trying to keep us safe.I share a frightening childhood experience that taught a younger part of me that danger could come without warning, and how those early conclusions can follow us long after the original experience is over.We’ll explore:why the human brain naturally looks for potential threatshow our experiences teach us what to become vigilant aboutwhy worrying, fixing, controlling, and overthinking can feel like safetyhow hypervigilance can keep us from experiencing joythe difference between external certainty and inner safetythree ways to begin creating greater safety within yourselfThe goal isn’t to convince yourself that nothing painful will ever happen.It’s something much deeper:Inner safety is not knowing that nothing bad will happen. It’s knowing that whatever happens, you will not abandon yourself.👉 Connect with Kim (the host): 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php
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  Why Discipline Stops Working in Midlife: Finding Your Way Back to Yourself with Courtney Townley 10.09.2026 58dk

  What if the reason you keep struggling to “stay consistent” isn’t because you lack discipline?For so many driven women, the strategies that helped us succeed earlier in life—pushing harder, demanding more of ourselves, overriding what we feel, and trying to stay in control—quietly stop working in midlife.And yet instead of questioning the strategy, we often question ourselves.In this episode of Masks Off, I’m joined by Courtney Townley, author of The Consistency Code and host of the Grace & Grit Podcast, for a conversation about why consistency in midlife requires something very different from more willpower.Courtney shares why self-leadership—not self-discipline—is the real foundation for lasting change and why rebuilding our health and our lives requires what she calls “cell to soul health.”We talk about:Why high-achieving women often believe they should be able to push through anythingWhy the growth strategies that worked earlier in life may stop working in midlifeThe difference between self-discipline and self-leadershipHow self-criticism keeps us trapped in cycles of starting, stopping, and starting overWhy consistency requires learning how to stay in relationship with yourselfWhat happens when our body begins asking for something our old identity doesn't know how to giveHow to rebuild self-trust after years of overriding yourselfWhy finding your way back to yourself may matter more than becoming another “better” version of yourselfThis conversation goes far beyond exercise, food, or habits.It is about what happens when the woman who has spent years managing everything finally begins asking:What do I actually need now?Because perhaps the answer isn't to become more disciplined.Perhaps it is to become someone you can trust to lead yourself.You don't need more discipline.You may need a completely different relationship with yourself.www.graceandgrit.com, @gracegrit, [email protected] with Kim; 👉 Connect with Kim (the host): 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php
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  The Hidden Cost of Being the Strong One 03.09.2026 53dk

  What if being “the strong one” has become another way of losing yourself?Some of us don’t disappear in relationships by becoming overly dependent on other people. We disappear in the opposite direction—by convincing ourselves that we shouldn’t need anyone at all.We become capable, dependable, self-sufficient and stoic. We’re there for everyone else, but when we’re struggling, we keep it to ourselves. We override our feelings, minimize our pain and tell everyone we’re fine—even when we aren’t.In this episode of Masks Off, Kim explores how over-independence can become another strategy of the Inner Controller: a protective part of us that may have learned long ago that needing others, being vulnerable or asking for help wasn’t safe.You’ll learn:The difference between healthy independence and protective over-independenceWhy being “the strong one” can become a maskHow overriding your feelings becomes a form of self-abandonmentWhy you can be deeply loved and still feel incredibly aloneHow the Inner Controller uses independence to protect you from vulnerabilityThree small ways to begin acknowledging your needs and allowing yourself to receive supportBeing strong isn’t the problem.The problem is believing that strength means you’re never allowed to need anyone.Because becoming free to be your true self doesn’t only mean learning to say, “This is what I want.”Sometimes it means finally allowing yourself to say:“This is what I need.”
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  Stop Giving Your Power Away: The Radical Responsibility of Being Yourself 27.08.2026 34dk

  What happens when you finally recognize the ways you've been losing yourself in relationships—but the other person still doesn't change?That's where radical responsibility begins.In this episode of Masks Off, Kim explores the difference between blaming yourself and taking ownership of your life. Because while you can't control another person's behavior, disappointment, opinions, choices, or willingness to understand you, you can decide whether you're going to keep abandoning yourself in response.You'll learn how the Inner Controller tries to manage other people's reactions to keep you feeling safe, why guilt and discomfort often show up when you begin choosing yourself, and one simple question that can help you reclaim your power:What is mine to own here?This isn't about becoming selfish or uncaring. It's about realizing that your freedom cannot depend on everyone around you being happy with who you are.Because becoming free to be your true self doesn't require a life where no one is ever disappointed in you.It requires becoming someone who no longer disappears when they are.👉 Connect with Kim (the host): 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php
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  Healing The Fear That Makes You Disappear 20.08.2026 48dk

  Have you ever wondered why you keep people-pleasing, over-explaining, fixing, accommodating, or staying silent—even when you know you’re abandoning yourself?Awareness isn’t always enough to change the pattern because underneath self-abandonment is often something much deeper: fear.Fear of rejection. Fear of conflict. Fear of disappointing someone. Fear of being “too much.” Fear that if you stop being who someone needs you to be, you might lose the relationship altogether.In this episode of Masks Off, Kim explores why losing ourselves can actually feel safer than remaining fully ourselves in relationship—and why healing isn’t about becoming fearless.You’ll learn how to recognize the fear underneath your people-pleasing, understand the role of your Inner Controller, and begin practicing something different: staying connected to yourself even when someone else is uncomfortable.Because freedom doesn’t mean you stop caring what people think.It means their reaction no longer determines whether you leave yourself.👉 Connect with Kim (the host): 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php
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  When Caring Becomes Control: The Hidden Ways We Lose Ourselves 13.08.2026 51dk

  What happens when caring about someone becomes fixing them, worrying about them, rescuing them—or feeling responsible for how their life turns out?In this episode of Masks Off: Inner Freedom for People Pleasers and Perfectionists, I explore enmeshment and the subtle ways we can lose ourselves by becoming overly focused on the people we love.I share how this pattern has shown up in my own relationships with my children through fixing, worrying, rescuing, and trying to prevent difficult outcomes.We’ll talk about:What enmeshment actually looks likeWhy fixing, worrying, and rescuing can feel like loveHow the Inner Controller fuels over-involvementThe difference between support and rescueWhy being needed can become part of our identityHow to separate what belongs to us from what belongs to someone elseHow to remain connected without abandoning yourselfHealing enmeshment does not mean becoming detached or loving someone less.It means learning:I can care about you without carrying you.I can support you without controlling you.I can remain connected to you without disconnecting from myself.Because becoming free to be your true self also means allowing the people you love to be free to live their own lives.👉 Connect with Kim (the host): 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php
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  “Whatever You Want Is Fine”: The Hidden Way You Lose Yourself 06.08.2026 48dk

  How many times have you said, “Whatever you want is fine,” when it was not actually fine?Losing yourself in a relationship rarely happens through one dramatic act of self-betrayal. It happens through small moments when you silence an opinion, minimize a feeling, ignore a need, or become responsible for someone else’s happiness.You may believe you are being flexible, loving, or easygoing. But over time, these seemingly harmless choices can leave you feeling invisible, resentful, and unsure of who you are outside the relationship.In this episode of Masks Off: Inner Freedom for People Pleasers and Perfectionists, Kim explores:The subtle signs of self-abandonmentWhy people pleasers become highly attuned to other people’s reactionsThe difference between compromise and disappearingHow childhood relationship patterns follow us into adulthoodWhy the Inner Controller believes it must manage connectionHow to begin hearing your own truth againOne small practice for staying connected to yourselfYou do not need to stop caring about other people. You are learning that loving someone does not require leaving yourself behind.👉 Connect with Kim (the host): 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php
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  Real and Unfiltered: The Freedom to Be Your True Self 30.07.2026 50dk

  What would change if you no longer had to perform for love, approval, or belonging?In this episode of Masks Off: Inner Freedom for People Pleasers and Perfectionists, Kim explores what it really means to be real and unfiltered. Authenticity is not about saying everything we think or sharing every vulnerable part of ourselves with everyone. It is about allowing our outer lives to reflect what is true inside us.Kim examines the masks we wear to avoid judgment and rejection, including the agreeable mask, the perfection mask, the strong mask, the caretaker mask, and the easygoing mask. Although these masks once helped us feel safe and accepted, they can eventually leave us disconnected from ourselves and lonely within our relationships.This episode also introduces the August theme: why we lose ourselves in relationships and how the fear of rejection causes us to silence our needs, override our feelings, and shape-shift into the person we believe others want.The path back begins with the third step of Kim’s five-step POWER Pathway: Willingness to Feel and Heal. We do not become authentic by eliminating the fear of rejection. We become authentic by learning that we can feel rejection without rejecting ourselves.KEY TAKEAWAYSWhy authenticity often feels emotionally dangerousHow fear of judgment causes us to perform and self-editThe difference between healthy discernment and hiding behind a maskWhy being accepted as a false version of ourselves can still feel lonelyHow we gradually lose ourselves in relationshipsWhy willingness to feel difficult emotions is essential to freedomHow to practice small acts of authenticity without forcing confrontationWhy freedom is not universal approval but unwavering self-connection👉 Connect with Kim (the host): 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php
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  When You Have Done Everything and Still Feel Powerless 23.07.2026 34dk

  What happens when you have done everything you can—and you still cannot get the outcome you want?In this episode of Masks Off: Inner Freedom for People Pleasers and Perfectionists, Kim Gross explores what happens when the Inner Controller can no longer fix, manage, or force life into the shape we believe we need in order to feel safe.Kim shares openly about struggling with body image, changes in her weight, ongoing health concerns, emotional eating, and the powerlessness she feels when her adult children make choices that are outside of her control.When the outcome we want feels threatened, the Inner Controller often works even harder. We may obsess, research, monitor, advise, pressure, restrict, overeat, criticize ourselves, or mentally rehearse every possible scenario. These behaviors may look like responsibility or problem-solving, but underneath them are often fear, sadness, shame, uncertainty, and grief.This episode is not about pretending you do not care or forcing yourself to “just let go.” It is about learning how to stay present with yourself when life does not cooperate.In this episode, you will learn:Why your Inner Controller becomes more intense when you feel powerlessThe emotions hiding beneath your need to control an outcomeWhy trying harder may be making you more exhaustedHow control can show up around health, body image, food, relationships, and adult childrenWhy surrender is not the same as giving upHow to separate grounded action from fear-driven controlWhat it means to become the wise, compassionate adult your younger self needsHow to stop abandoning yourself when you cannot guarantee the outcomeYou may not be able to control what your body does, what another person chooses, or how the future unfolds. But you can become the person who stays with yourself through the uncertainty.
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  The Judgment Mask- Why We Criticize Others When We Don't Feel Safe Within Ourselves 16.07.2026 29dk

  Have you ever caught yourself judging someone and wondered, Where did that come from?What if your judgment isn't actually about them?In this episode of Masks Off: Inner Freedom for People Pleasers and Perfectionists, Kim Gross explores one of the most overlooked protective patterns of the Inner Controller: the judgment mask.Judgment often feels justified on the surface, but underneath it can hide fear, shame, powerlessness, grief, insecurity, or parts of ourselves we haven't fully accepted. Whether we criticize our children, our partner, strangers online, or even ourselves, judgment is often an attempt to feel safe, certain, or in control.Kim shares how curiosity can transform criticism into compassion and explains the important difference between judgment and discernment. You'll also learn why the people who trigger you the most may actually be pointing you toward your deepest healing.In this episode you'll discover:• Why judgment is often fear wearing the mask of certainty• The surprising reason we judge the people we love most• The difference between judgment and healthy discernment• How your Inner Controller uses criticism to avoid vulnerability• A simple practice to move from judgment to compassionIf you've ever wondered why certain people trigger you—or why you can be so hard on yourself—this episode offers a compassionate new perspective.👉 Connect with Kim (the host): 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php
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  When Comparison Steals Your Freedom 09.07.2026 37dk

  Comparison is one of the sneakiest ways the inner controller tries to keep us safe.It tells us that if we can figure out where we stand — who is ahead, who is behind, who is doing better, who is doing worse — then maybe we can finally know whether we are enough.But comparison never leads to freedom.In this episode of Masks Off: Inner Freedom for People Pleasers and Perfectionists, Kim Gross explores the comparison trap and why it keeps us stuck in both inferiority and superiority. When we feel below someone, we collapse into shame and “I’m not enough.” When we feel above someone, we may feel temporary relief, but that superiority is still fragile because it depends on staying ahead.Kim shares how comparison can show up in childhood, parenting, social media, body image, and weight — and how old environments can wake up old measuring systems. She also brings in the Golden Buddha metaphor from her book, Free to Be: A Pathway to Inner Liberation, reminding us that comparison keeps us staring at the clay while forgetting the gold underneath.This episode will help you stop using comparison as the measurement of your worth and begin returning to compassion, shared humanity, and inner freedom.In this episode, you’ll explore:Why comparison is a protective pattern, not a character flawThe difference between inferiority and superiorityHow the inner controller uses comparison to create the illusion of safetyWhy social media, parenting, and body image can trigger old measuring systemsHow to stop abandoning yourself when judgment is possibleA simple comparison reset practice to come back to yourselfYour worth is not ranked.Your path is yours.You can come back to yourself.👉 Connect with Kim (the host): 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php
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  The Mask We Wear When We're Afraid They'll Judge Us 02.07.2026 30dk

  Have you ever walked into a room and suddenly felt like you had to prove you were okay?In this episode, Kim Gross opens the July series, Real and Unfiltered: The Freedom to Be Seen, by sharing the emotional experience of preparing for her 40th high school reunion. What seemed like a simple reunion activated old fears around body image, aging, comparison, approval, and being judged.Kim explores how old environments can awaken old identities, especially the younger parts of us that believed we had to look perfect, act confident, seem successful, and prove we were enough. She explains how perfectionism becomes a mask, how the inner controller tries to manage how others perceive us, and why judgment can feel so threatening to the nervous system.This episode is a compassionate reminder that healing does not mean you never get triggered. Healing means you can recognize the mask when it comes up and choose presence over performance.You do not need to become someone no one can judge. You are becoming someone who no longer abandons herself when judgment is possible.👉 Connect with Kim (the host): 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php
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  Freedom Begins When You Stop Trying to Control Everything 25.06.2026 41dk

  In this episode of Masks Off: Inner Freedom for People Pleasers and Perfectionists, Kim Gross closes out the June Inner Controller series with a powerful conversation about overthinking, control, and why we cannot think our way into freedom.The inner controller believes that if we can figure everything out, predict every outcome, and prepare for every possibility, then we will finally feel safe. But overthinking often keeps us trapped in mental loops, disconnected from our bodies, our intuition, and the present moment.Kim explores how overthinking is often an attempt to create certainty — and why certainty is not the same as safety. She shares how the inner controller uses thoughts like “What if something goes wrong?” “What did they mean by that?” “What if I make the wrong choice?” and “What if I can’t handle it?” to keep us looping in fear.This episode will help you understand the difference between solving a real problem and trying to escape an uncomfortable feeling. You’ll learn a simple practice to interrupt the spiral and begin building safety from within.Because freedom does not come from controlling every outcome.Freedom comes from knowing:“I may not know exactly what will happen, but I can trust myself to meet what comes.”In this episode, you’ll learn:Why overthinking is often a form of controlHow the inner controller uses mental looping to avoid uncertaintyThe difference between real problem-solving and fear-based spiralingWhy certainty is not the same as safetyHow to begin building inner safety instead of chasing controlA simple practice to come back to yourself when your mind is spiraling👉 Connect with Kim (the host): 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php
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  The Prison of Perfectionism in Relationships 18.06.2026 34dk

  What if the very thing you are doing to protect your relationships is actually keeping you from the connection you deeply desire?In this episode, Kim Gross explores how perfectionism becomes a prison in relationships. When we are afraid of being judged, criticized, rejected, or misunderstood, we may begin to perform, edit ourselves, suppress our needs, and avoid saying what we truly think or feel. The inner controller convinces us that if we can just be easy enough, agreeable enough, strong enough, or perfect enough, we will be safe and loved.But the cost is loneliness.Kim shares personal reflections on motherhood, people-pleasing, empty nesting, and the ache of wanting to be seen as good, loving, and perfect in the eyes of the people we care about most. She explains how people-pleasing and perfectionism can create pseudo-connection while quietly disconnecting us from ourselves.This episode is an invitation to stop abandoning yourself in order to be chosen by others. Through compassion, loving kindness, and small moments of honesty, we can begin to unmask from perfectionism and experience the true connection we have been longing for.👉 Connect with Kim (the host): 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php
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  You’re Not Fine — You’re Overriding Yourself 12.06.2026 35dk

  Are you really okay — or are you overriding yourself?In this episode, Kim Gross introduces a new concept on the podcast: override. Override is what happens when you push past your emotions, your body, your needs, or your truth in order to keep going, stay pleasing, stay productive, or stay in control.Kim explores how the Inner Controller often uses override as a survival strategy, especially for people-pleasers and perfectionists. She explains the difference between healthy regulation and harmful repression, how many of us were trained to override as children, and why pushing through may actually be keeping us disconnected from freedom.This episode will help you notice where you may be saying “I’m fine” when you are not fine, calling yourself strong when you are actually self-abandoning, or confusing control with safety.Connect with Kim:👉 Connect with Kim (the host): 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php
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  From Prison to Paradise: How Your Inner Controller Keeps You Trapped 04.06.2026 47dk

  Have you ever wondered why you can’t fully relax, even when life looks good on the outside?In this episode, Kim Gross introduces the “inner controller” — the part of you that seeks safety by managing everything: other people’s emotions, your performance, your appearance, outcomes, uncertainty, and even your own feelings.For people pleasers and perfectionists, the inner controller often develops as a nervous system adaptation. It learns that if you can just be good enough, prepared enough, pleasing enough, perfect enough, or in control enough, maybe you’ll finally feel safe. But over time, this protective part can become a prison.Kim explores the shift from prison to paradise — not as a perfect external life, but as the inner freedom to be present, peaceful, authentic, and connected to yourself. She shares personal examples from family vacations, holiday over-functioning, social media approval-seeking, and writing her book Free to Be, while naming the four prisons of the inner controller: approval, perfection, certainty, and emotional avoidance.This episode is an invitation to stop shaming the part of you that controls and begin understanding what it has been trying to protect.Connect with Kim:👉 Connect with Kim (the host): 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php
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  You're Not a Problem to Fix 28.05.2026 52dk

  In this final episode of Inner Child Month and the six-year anniversary month of Masks Off, Kim Gross welcomes somatic practitioner Lori Montry, creator of the Freedom Framework and author of You Are Not the Problem.Kim and Lori explore people-pleasing, perfectionism, overthinking, control, shutdown, emotional eating, and hypervigilance as intelligent nervous system adaptations — not proof that something is wrong with you. Lori shares her personal story of overwhelm, sexual abuse, high achievement, and learning to work with both the mind and nervous system for sustainable healing.Kim also shares how a childhood choking incident shaped her health-related panic and how she now uses inner-child reassurance and body-based support to calm her system.Together, they discuss why familiar patterns can feel safe, how to access the “sacred self,” why internal safety matters more than external validation, and how five daily nervous system check-ins can help you begin building trust with yourself.This episode is a powerful reminder that you are not broken. Your patterns make sense. And healing begins when you stop fighting yourself and start creating safety within.Connect with Kim:👉 Connect with Kim (the host): 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.phpAbout Lori: Today’s guest is Lori Montry, a somatic practitioner and creator of the Freedom Framework.Lori’s work begins with a simple but powerful premise: you’re not the problem. The patterns you struggle with are intelligent adaptations shaped by stress, overwhelm, and experience. When you understand what is driving them, you can stop fighting yourself and start creating meaningful progress toward what matters to you.Through the Freedom Framework, people move from survival mode and burnout into what Lori calls the Expansive Self — steady, clear, self-trusting, and capable of meaningful progress without constant strain.She is the author of You’re Not the Problem and helps people understand themselves through a nervous system lens, so growth becomes sustainable rather than exhausting.Connect with Lori: Get the free Introduction to You’re Not the Problem: https://www.lorimontry.com/book-introWebsite: www.LoriMontry.com Youtube: Lori Montry -Somatic Healing Practitioner - YouTubeFacebook:  You're Not the Problem! | FacebookInstagram: Instagram 
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  You Can’t Shame Yourself Into Healing 21.05.2026 50dk

  You can’t shame or force yourself into healing—especially if you learned to criticize yourself before you learned to comfort yourself.In this episode, Kim Gross continues Inner Child Month by exploring what it really means to reparent your inner child as a people-pleaser or perfectionist. Building on previous episodes about perfectionism as protection and inherited approval scripts, Kim explains reparenting as becoming the safe, loving, grounded adult your younger self needed.She shares a three-part framework for reparenting: safety, soothing, and structure. Safety means learning to stop self-abandonment and self-attack. Soothing means being present with emotions instead of numbing, fixing, or controlling. Structure means creating loving boundaries, routines, rest, and values-based decisions.Kim also shares a personal example from a kitchen renovation, where her inner controller showed up through overwhelm and pressure, and how she practiced compassionate self-soothing instead. She closes with a simple exercise to use when triggered and clarifies what reparenting is—and what it is not.This episode is for anyone learning to stop abandoning themselves for approval and begin becoming emotionally safe within themselves.Mentioned in this episode: Free to Be: A Pathway to Inner Liberation by Kim Gross.👉 Connect with Kim (the host): 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php
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  Why You Keep Chasing Approval — And How to Rewrite the Script 14.05.2026 27dk

  What if your people-pleasing and perfectionism are not who you are — but approval scripts you learned in childhood?In this episode, Kim Gross celebrates six years of the Masks Off podcast during Inner Child Month and explores the unconscious rules many of us learned about how to be loved, safe, and accepted.These approval scripts can sound like: don’t upset anyone, be good, get it right, blend in, and make sure everyone else is okay.Kim shares how achievement and external validation reinforced her own “good girl” identity, and how these scripts can show up today through saying yes when you mean no, overthinking conversations, avoiding conflict, struggling with boundaries, and feeling responsible for other people’s emotions.She also explains how the Inner Controller tries to protect you from rejection, criticism, and disconnection by keeping you in control and constantly monitoring everyone around you.Using a personal example from a family trip for her daughter’s master’s graduation, Kim walks listeners through how old scripts get activated and how to begin rewriting them with awareness, compassion, and small shifts.This episode is an invitation to stop living by the old rules and begin creating a new way of being — one rooted in truth, freedom, and self-worth.👉 Connect with Kim (the host): 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php
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  You’re Not “Just This Way”—The Truth About Perfectionism & Control 07.05.2026 24dk

  Perfectionism isn’t who you are—it’s who you became to feel safe.In this opening episode of Inner Child Month, Kim shares how her perfectionism and people-pleasing weren’t personality traits, but protective adaptations formed in childhood.She introduces the concept of the inner child and explains how unmet needs around love, safety, and worth shape the patterns we still carry today. Through personal stories—including a pivotal moment at age 10—Kim unpacks how the drive for validation, fear of rejection, and need for control are all rooted in protection.She also introduces the “Inner Controller” and how it creates a false sense of safety through hypervigilance, including how it shows up as health anxiety.This episode is about understanding—not fixing—your patterns.Because awareness is where freedom begins.👉 Connect with Kim (the host): 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php